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6 songs that seem romantic but aren't, and one that seems like it isn't but is

Love songs are where we get our passion, our soul—and most of our worst ideas.

Black and white photo of The Beach Boys

The Beach Boys (1965)

Love songs are where we get our passion, our soul—and most of our worst ideas. Throughout human history, oceans have been crossed, mountains have been scaled, and great families have blossomed—all because of a few simple chords and a melody that inflamed a heart and propelled it on a noble, romantic mission.

On the other hand, that time you told that girl you just started seeing that you would "catch a grenade" for her? You did that because of a love song. And it wasn't exactly a coincidence that she suddenly decided to "lose your number" and move back to Milwaukee to "figure some stuff out."

Man plays guitar for woman

Love songs are great, but you have to be smart about them.

Photo by Achim Voss/Flickr.

That time you held that boombox over your head outside your ex's house? You did that because of a love song (and let's be honest, a scene in a pretty popular movie). And 50 hours of community service later, you're still not back together.

Love songs are great. They make our hearts beat faster. They inspire us to take risks and put our feelings on the line. And they give us terrible, terrible ideas about how actual, real-life human relationships should work.

They're amazing. So amazing. And also terrible.

Here are six love songs that sound romantic but aren't, and one song that doesn't sound romantic but totally is:

1. "God Only Knows," by The Beach Boys

You can keep your "Surfin' Safari"s, your "I Get Around"s, and your "Help me Rhonda"s.

When it comes to The Beach Boys, "God Only Knows" is where it's at. A lush garden of soft horns and breezy melody. A tie-dye swirl of sound. A landscape of haunted innocence with some of the most heartrending lyrics ever committed to the back of a surfboard.

Black and white photo of The Beach Boys

The Beach Boys

en.m.wikipedia.org

Here's why it sounds romantic:

I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure about it
God only knows what I'd be without you

If you're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your beloved and not playing "God Only Knows" on your phone, you should really stop and start over.

If you're lazily bumping a beach ball over a volleyball net and "God Only Knows" isn't playing somewhere in the back of your mind, you need to rethink the choices that got you to this point.

If you're a video editor compiling footage of grainy hippies frolicking in the mud and you're not underscoring it with the opening chords of "God Only Knows," you are doing it wrong.

It's a song that just feels like love. Pure love. Young love. Love with a chill, kelp-y vibe.

What could be wrong with that?

Here's why it's actually really, really unromantic:

There's nothing wrong with loving someone. Sending them flowers. Leaving over-the-top notes in their P.O. boxes. Stroking their hair as they fall asleep while you whisper the complete works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear.

gray asphalt road towards trees

Moody romance vibes.

Photo by Nic Y-C on Unsplash

But there is such a thing as loving someone a skosh too much.

If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me?

Look, I get it. Breakups suck. There's no getting around that. But good God.

There's a huge difference between saying: "Hey babe, you are my first and foremost everything and I'll be bummed if you go." And saying: "Welp, you accepted that job in Seattle, so I'm just gonna chug a bunch of nightshade and call it a life."

But that's pretty much the gist here. Which makes this line...

God only knows what I'd be without you

...horror-movie creepy. Because the answer, apparently, is: "I'd be a corpse!"

That's not love. That's codependency (to put it mildly). Oh, and hey, threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. It's a form of emotional abuse.

Investing all your happiness and sense of self-worth in any relationship—one that, by definition, might one day end—is putting a lot of eggs in one basket. Sure, God may only know what you'd be without her, but God probably also hopes you have, I don't know, some hobbies. Take a yoga class. Google some woodworking videos. Try kite surfing. One person cannot be anyone's be-all and end-all. It's too stressful. And it prevents you from doing you, which is a thing that's got to be done before you can do anything else.

No wonder she took that job in Seattle.

2. "Treasure," by Bruno Mars

Sure, it's little too close to sounding like a rip off of every Michael Jackson song (and possibly another song) you've ever heard. But, we don't have Michael Jackson anymore, and as tribute acts go, you could do a lot worse than Bruno Mars.

Bruno Mars playing a keyboard

Bruno Mars

Photo by Brothers Le/Flick

Here's why the song sounds romantic:

Treasure, that is what you are
Honey, you're my golden star
You know you can make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you let me treasure you

Pass those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an eighth-grade make-out party and you'll likely get an instant toll pass on the highway to tongue-town (ew).

Pass them to your spouse and, chances are, date night is going to culminate in 47 minutes of chaste-yet-passionate frenching.

Pass them to a cop who pulls you over for running a stop sign, and they will think you're weird — but maybe still make out with you?

In fact, Bruno Mars basically has a lifetime pass to make out with America because of this song.

And I'm OK with that.

But, here's why "Treasure" isn't as romantic as it seems:

Everything about "Treasure" is retro. Everything.

Including its attitudes about gender.

Things start to go south right from the very beginning:

Give me your, give me your, give me your attention, baby
I gotta tell you a little something about yourself

Ah yes. Nothing screams "respect" quite like a man lecturing a strange woman on the street about something she "doesn't know about herself."

What could it be? Could it be that her jokes are funny? Could it be that she's got something in her teeth? Could it be that her nonfiction book about early modern German history is extremely detailed and informative?

Illustration of an old Bible

"Thanks for teaching me all about Martin Luther's bible!"

Photo by Torsten Schleese/Wikimedia Commons.

Spoiler Alert: It's none of those.

You're wonderful, flawless, ooh, you're a sexy lady
But you walk around here like you wanna be someone else

Oh. It's that she's sexy. Cool, bro. Very original.

Word of advice? Regardless of how she's walking, the lady knows she's sexy. Even if she doesn't, it really doesn't affect her day-to-day so much that you, a complete stranger, need to shout it at her (even over a funky disco snare).

So what if she does want to be someone else? I'd love to be someone else! I think being Ryan Gosling would be quite nice. A good way to spend a three-day weekend.

And then later, of course, the narrator can't help himself:

Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl, you should be smiling
A girl like you should never look so blue.

He respects her so much, he's actually straight-up telling her to smile! Much like Mars' character in "Uptown Funk," who appears to get off on angrily exhorting girls to "hit [their] hallelujah." Which, you know, I guess everybody's got a thing.

Yes, in the world of "Treasure," a healthy relationship is an unending stream of a man complimenting a strange woman and said woman being so totally flattered that she immediately dispenses "the sex."

He then proceeds to talk to his potential lover like the world's creepiest pirate:

You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you, you, you, you are
You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you, you, you, you are

By this point, in his mind, she's a literal thing. An object. Which is fitting.

I suppose it could be worse, though. At least she's not just any thing. That's...something, right?

3. "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right," by Bob Dylan

For as long as humans have been dating each other, humans have been breaking up with each other. And "Don't Think Twice" is a portrait of a relationship going down in flames. Glorious, poetic, acoustic flames.

Bob Dylan playing guitar

Bob Dylan

commons.wikimedia.org

Here's why it sounds romantic:

Well, it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
Even you don't know by now
And it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It'll never do somehow
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window, and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm a-traveling on
But don't think twice, it's all right.

Boom. Strummed on out of that friends-with-benefits situation like whoa.

"Don't Think Twice" is a raw song. An honest song. A powerful song. It's the song your older sister played on continuous loop for six months after her boyfriend left for college. The song that convinced your Aunt Roslyn to leave her bank-teller job, load her four Australian shepherds into the van, and open a wind chime store in Mendocino. The song your friend's cool dad always wants to play when he invited your high school band over to his apartment to jam.

Sure, it's about the end of a relationship, but it sounds romantic. And at the end of the day, shouldn't that be enough?

Here's why it's actually pretty messed up:

Relationships end. For a lot of reasons. And while there is no right way to call it quits with someone, when the dust settles, both parties can certainly benefit from a difficult, honest discussion about what went wrong.

In "Don't Think Twice," that discussion basically boils down to: "It's your fault."

Let's review the reasons the dude in "Don't Think Twice" is splitting with his lady friend:

I gave her my heart, but she wanted my soul

Ugh, women, right? You're all like, "Babe, I just have so much unspecified love to give," and she's like, "Take out the trash!" And you're like, "But baaaaaaabe, shouldn't my heart be enough?" And she's like, "No, seriously. I already did the laundry, cleaned the whole house, fed the dog, did the dishes, and made both of our lunches for the week. All I need you to do is take out the trash." And you're like, "You're bumming me out. I'm gonna go play guitar." And then she gets all mad! What did you do? Why is she trying to change you? UGH!

You could have done better, but I don't mind

Seems like you do mind since you wrote a whole song about it, no?

You just kinda wasted my precious time

Ah yes. Your time is so precious! Think about all the hours you wasted plumbing the ocean-deep, ecstatic mysteries of human partnership when you could have been futzing around with that home-brew kit.

Counter full of supplies to make home-brew beer

The home-brew kit in question.

Photo by Bill Bradford/Flickr.

The minute you start breaking it down, the message of "Don't Think Twice" suddenly starts to seem a lot less romantic. Like your sister's ex-boyfriend who worked at the Bass Pro Shop in town for a while and now might be in jail. Like your aunt's wind chime store, which would have closed forever ago had she not received that inheritance from her mom in the '80s. Like your friend's cool dad, who wasn't exactly, technically, paying child support.

Oh yeah, and the song's narrator also point-blank refers woman he's leaving as:

A child, I'm told

So, in addition to being a run-of-the-mill passive-aggressive jerk—turns out, he's also possibly a pedophile.

Even if we are to accept that this is a metaphor and she's not actually a child—which there's no indication it is, but OK, Bob Dylan—the fact that he would willingly choose an immature partner reflects way more poorly on him than it does on her.

Breaking up with anyone in such a cruel, dismissive way is a recipe for sticking them with years of therapy bills.

Which, I suppose, may be the point.

4. "Leaving on a Jet Plane," by John Denver

Who has two thumbs and wrote a bittersweet folk song about hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant aluminum tube at 600 miles per hour?

Musician John Denver smiling

John Denver

Photo by Hughes Television Network/Wikimedia Commons.

Here's why it sounds romantic:

"Leaving on a Jet Plane" is a lovely song. And impressive in its loveliness because jet planes were still kind of new at the time it was written.

'Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane

To a modern ear, this would be sort of like singing, "I'm a scoooting away on my hoverboooooard," but in a way that's somehow still folksy and heartbreaking and singable by 9-year-olds at summer camp. Not easy to do!

Oh babe, I hate to go

You see, he hates to go! He just hates it! We know this, because he tells us he hates it. And why would he hate to go if he didn't love his partner just that much?

A jet plane in the sky

The jet plane he left on.

Photo by Altair78/Wikimedia Commons.

Why indeed?

Here's why it's actually not that romantic at all:

All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the world can only distract so much from the fact that the song's main character is well, kind of a jerk.

And in reality (surprise surprise!) it doesn't actually seem like he hates being away all that much:

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing

"Babe, I promise! All the movies I watched alone while you were home nursing the quadruplets. All the times I drained our life savings on pointless purchases. All the random sex I had with other women. Totally meaningless. Certainly fun to do! Really fun. Like, I had a fantastic time. But rest assured—completely empty, in an ontological sense."

Yes, when you break it down, "Leaving on a Jet Plane," is less of a passionate tribute to love overcoming distance and more the deluded ramblings of a guy who needs to convince himself he's "good" despite all evidence to the contrary.

And for all he claims to be broken up about having to part from his one and only, the dude seems pretty excited about the flight.

He continues:

Ev'ry place I go, I'll think of you
Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for you

Ah cool. He'll think about her while strumming and making "my love is delicate as the morning dew" eyes at a waif-y grad student in the front row. That pretty much makes up for it all.

Then he demands:

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me

After all the betrayal and heartbreak, after basically revealing himself to be a grade-A sleaze who can't be trusted, he still has the gall to tell her to wait for him?

And here's the kicker:

When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring

Ah yes. He'll put a ring on it. Finally.

Unlike all the previous trips, where he's cheated a billion times, drained the family bank account, and just been a general screwup and disappointment.

But yeah. This time he says he'll bring back a wedding ring.


5. "When a Man Loves a Woman," Percy Sledge

When you look up "soul" in the dictionary, the book plays you a recording of this song.

Percy Sledge singing onstage

Percy Sledge

Photo by Gene Pugh/Flickr.

Specifically, it plays you the very first line.

Here's why it sound very romantic:

When a man loves a woman

Sure, you can write the lyrics down, but it doesn't even come close to capturing the heartache. The yearning. The delicious, delicious pain-belting:

WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN

Closer...but still no.

WHEN A MAAAAAAAN. LOVES A WOOOMAN!

Yes! Sing it, Percy Sledge!

It's an elemental lyric.

It's a heart-shattering lyric.

It's a lyric that demands you put your back into it.

It's perfection.

As long as you don't keep listening.

Here's why the song is actually pretty horrifying:

From the opening lines of "When a Man Loves a Woman," we know that, at least on occasion, a man loves a woman.

Which raises the question: What happens when said man loves said woman?

He'd give up all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way
It ought to be.

Whoa! OK. No. Back up. A man, no matter how devoted, no matter how selfless, no matter how in love, needs shelter. Otherwise, a man will die of exposure and hypothermia.

Turn his back on his best friend if he put her down.

No! Jeez. No. A man can't put up with that kind of isolating behavior. A man needs friends! Once a man's whole support system erodes out from under him, a man will be bitter, ungrounded, and alone. And a man's mental health will deteriorate.

I gave you everything I have
Tryin' to hold on to your heartless love
Baby, please don't treat me bad.

This is not what happens "when a man loves a woman." It's what happens when a man loves a controlling, manipulative woman. An abusive woman. A woman who, in truth, only loves a woman. Herself.

Silhouette of man and woman against stars

A cosmic connection shouldn't bring harm, friends.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

And that's not healthy.

Run, Percy Sledge, run! We're here for you.

(Side note: Lest it go unsaid, there is way more than one way for a man to love a woman. Maybe they spend every waking moment cuddling and booping each other on the nose. Maybe they sleep in separate bedrooms. Maybe they dress up in large, plush cat costumes and refer to each other Mr. and Mrs. Kittyhawk. And when a man loves a man, I imagine it feels much the same. Or when a woman loves a woman. Or when a gender nonconforming person loves a gender nonconforming person.)

Regardless of the depth of commitment, living situation, or combination of genders or sexual orientations, there's no one-size-fits-all love solution. Every relationship is a unique snowflake. Variety is the spice of life. Necessity is the mother of invention. There's more than one way to skin a cat. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. It doesn't matter if it's the right metaphor, as long as it's a metaphor.

Point being: Generalize at your peril, Sledge. And please, seek help! You can do this! And if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, please give these people a call.

A spoonful of sugar

A spoonful of sugar.

Photo by Rosmarie Voegtli/Flickr.

6. "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You," Heart

This song is perfect. You should always be listening to it. If you're not listening to it now, smack yourself in the face and Google it. It's just that important.

I am singing the phone book. You are weeping like a tiny baby. Photo by

The band Heart playing a show

Nancy and Ann Wilson playing at a charity concert

FatCat125/Wikimedia Commons

So much passion. So much pain. So much hair.

Here's why it sounds romantic:

Over pounding drums and a soaring melody, Heart sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson deliver a primal tribute to the one true romantic fantasy shared by every living being on Earth: picking up an unnervingly attractive man for one night of mind-blowing sex and then releasing him back into the wild to bone—but never quite as compellingly ever again.

They sing:

It was a rainy night when he came into sight
Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat
So I pulled up alongside and I offered him a ride
He accepted with a smile so we drove for a while

I don't have to go on because you know what happens next, and it's awesome.

Now, here's why this song is not romantic at all:

The relationship in "All I Wanna Do" seems too good to be true. And it is. Because it's not an equally loving ,or even equally lusty, pairing at all.

It's a...

Well. You know what it is:

For a while, things are humming along just fine, like any wholesome, illicit, anonymous affair should:

I didn't ask him his name, this lonely boy in the rain
Fate, tell me it's right, is this love at first sight?

Sure, many of us might hesitate to pick up a strange leather-jacket-clad man standing on the side of the road for a no-strings-attached screw, but our narrator just has a feeling about this guy, and sometimes, you gotta go with your gut.

I can respect that.

We made magic that night
He did everything right

Great! Seems like it was a good decision.

But then, without warning, the song starts to sound less like an all-time great romance and more like a story men's rights activists tell each other as they vape around a campfire:

I told him "I am the flower, you are the seed
We walked in the garden, we planted a tree
Don't try to find me, please don't you dare
Just live in my memory, you'll always be there"

I'm not a poet. Symbolic language often eludes me. But unless "flower," "seed," "garden," and "tree," suddenly mean wildly different things in the context of human reproduction than they have since sex was first invented in the early-1970s, we're talking about a surprise, non-mutually-consensual pregnancy!

A baby sticks his tongue out

HELLO!

Photo by Avsar Aras/Wikimedia Commons

Of course, metaphors are opaque, interpretations vary, etc., etc., etc. You might be tempted to think, "Maybe Heart meant something else by that."

To that I say, no, they definitely meant it:

Then it happened one day
We came round the same way
You can imagine his surprise
When he saw his own eyes

There are two possibilities here.

One: The narrator of the song is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York City subway ad from nine years ago:

an old ad

This was unsettling.

Photo by eyedonation.org

Or two: She totally conned a dude into whipping up a baby on the sly.

I said, "Please, please understand

Ah, sure. Yeah. No worries.

I'm in love with another man

Cool, so this all makes sense and is in no way the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has now wrecked not one but two lives.

And what he couldn't give me, oh, no
Was the one little thing that you can"

Wow...

The best you can say about that is that it's not technically illegal, and that leather-jacket man probably should have been responsible for his own birth control. Or, at the very least, asked more questions .

But...it's not cute and it's not romantic.

And at the end of the day, the shadiest character in this song is somehow not the rain-soaked hitchhiker wandering to nowhere in the night.

Which is saying something.

But there is a love song that is truly, madly, deeply perfect. An unassailable track in a sea of problematic faves.

It's a song that does everything right. A song that paints a portrait of a healthy partnership built to last.

A song that can double as a manual for the ideal human romantic relationship.

And that song is...

"Candy Shop," by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia

Here's why you might be—OK, almost definitely are — skeptical:

As catchy as "Candy Shop" is, as fun it is to dance to, and as cathartic as it can be to scream in the middle of a crowded fraternity house at 2 a.m., there's no getting around the fact that the song begins like this:

I'll take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollipop

I'll post that again, in case you missed some of the nuance:

I'll take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollipop

Way to take one for the team, narrator of "Candy Shop"!

At first glance, "Candy Shop" is nobody's idea of a classic love song.

The lyrics are...unusually forward. The beat is kind of basic. The hook is like the music they play when Abu Nazir sidles scarily by in Homeland.

It doesn't get played much anymore. When it does resurface, it feels kind of dated. Like watching that DVD of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on your new Xbox 360.

It's not a song you'd put on a mixtape for your crush. It's not a song you'd play for your spouse when the kids are at home with the babysitter and you've got nine hours to tear up the Piscataway Hampton Inn. It's certainly not a song you'd include on the video photo montage you made for your grandparents' silver anniversary.

It's just not.

But it should be.

So here it is. Here's why "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia, is actually the perfect relationship song:

The bass drum hits. The MIDI violins whine. The singer starts filling out his fellatio permission slip. It's only been 20 seconds, and you're already getting ready to hang it up with "Candy Shop."

But then...over the square thrum and the mewling strings, a miracle occurs—in the form of a female voice joining the track, cutting through the din like a clarion call.

She sings:

I'll take you to the candy shop (yeah)
Boy, one taste of what I got (uh-huh)
I'll have you spendin' all you got (come on)
Keep going 'til you hit the spot, whoa

It's mutual! It's mutual! They're pleasuring each other!

Ring the bells! Bang the drums! Release the doves!

Doves in the sky

The doves have been released!

Photo by liz west/Flickr

50 Cent himself may not be the world's greatest partner—for example, according to one of his exes, he's done some pretty unforgivable things.

But the narrator of "Candy Shop"? He gets it:

You could have it your way, how do you want it?

Rather than simply imposing his desires on the person he's with—a la the dude in "God Only Knows ("I'm going to invest my entire sense of self-worth in you!") or the street heckler in "Treasure" ("I'm going to treat you like a chest full of gold doubloons!") or the sociopath in "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You," ("I'm going to trick you into knocking me up!")—the "Candy Shop" guy actually asks his partner what she wants.

Which, in the world of popular music, is good for about 50,000 trillion points.

And where are they going to do it? The hotel? Back of the rental? The beach? The park?

It's whatever you're into

'Cause consent is sexy!

I ain't finished teaching you 'bout how sprung I got ya

The narrator of "Candy Shop" is certainly assertive about his desires.

But here's the key thing: the lady on the receiving end of those desires? She's clearly into it. And we know this because she says so.

The lines of consent in "Candy Shop" are bright red, highlighted, and soldered into the weirdly sticky club floor.

A night club scene

The club I mentioned earlier

Grim23/Wikimedia Commons

Meanwhile, Robin Thicke is outside trying to convince the bouncer that his uncle is a lawyer.

Girl what we do ...
And where we do ...
The things we do ...
Are just between me and you

No matter how nasty they freak, it will be intimate. It will be private.

If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho

Sexual compatibility is key to the survival of any relationship, whether years, weeks, or (very possibly in the case of "Candy Shop") minutes long.

She may have a high sex drive, but dude is graciously offering to accommodate her. What a gentleman! These crazy kids just might go the distance after all.

And at the end of the day, what is a relationship but two nymphos, sharing health insurance?

It's like it's a race who could get undressed quicker

Again, everybody is having a great time. And, critically, an equally great time.

I touch the right spot at the right time

Of course, it wouldn't be a pop/hip-hop hit without a spot of random braggadocio, but if we're to take him at his word, "Candy Shop" guy is at least as good at "doing everything right" as the anonymous hitchhiker from "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You"—except without all the creepy surprise baby nonsense.

The "Candy Shop" guy is a keeper. Because he's not a hero or a stranger in the night or a funky, shimmering love god. He's a good partner.

"Candy Shop" is raunchy. It's dirty. It's not your grandmother's love song.

But when you strip away the swagger, the back beat, and the weird strings from "Best of Public Domain Middle Eastern Music 1993," by the end of the song, both people are satisfied. And at the end of the day, isn't that what a healthy relationship is all about?

Yeah.


This article originally appeared three years ago.


Joy

5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples this week.

True

When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? If you’ve read our last week's article, you might say lip syncing in the car so passionately that the car flips (special effects included). We've found that going "All In" can also be something heartfelt and magical, like not giving up on your lifelong dreams and becoming a figure skater at the age of 49.

Going “All In” is about doing what is special to you, whether it’s a lifelong goal or accidentally being way too passionate. Our friends at All In Food ask you what you “go all in” on? They’re all in on good ingredients, giving back to the community, and with this article, finding the best stories of people who go “All In” every week.

1. A Rubik's Cube Celebration

There’s nothing better than a bit of nostalgia to start your day. Let’s paint a picture: the year was 2016, and a young man in a red shirt placed an unsolved Rubik's cube in a bag. The next second he pulled it out: SOLVED. Someone in the crowd called out, “There are two Rubik's cubes in the bag!” What happened next was truly amazing, and the audiences reaction did not disappoint. You’ll have to watch the video yourself to see how the audience went "all in" with their response.

2. A Very All In Merry Poppins Costume

If you’ve ever watched a video by Justin Flom, you’ll know he goes All In on costumes for his kids all the time, and his 2.7 million followers exemplify that people will never get tired of his creativity and the whimsy that he creates for his family. With a hole cut out on the top of an umbrella and a bungee cord hooked into the ceiling, Justin’s daughter was able to seamlessly become Mary Poppins, using her umbrella to gently drift down from their second story. October has just begun…we can’t wait to see what else Justin goes All In on!

3. All In on Singles

This company is all about going all in, so much so it's called All In Food. These bars are packed with fiber and delicious ingredients, making for the perfect snack bar. For the last few months, All In bars have been available by the pack in three delicious flavors at Sprouts Farmers Market. As of this week, they have an exciting launch at the Sprouts "New For You Destination," so you can buy them as a single bar.

Now, you might be wondering, "Is this bar for me?" And just like dating, you need to try it to know for sure! So get out there and give it a go! You might be All In on the best snack bar too. And to give you that push, All In is giving you a free bar; just snap a pic of your receipt, and you’ll be reimbursed through the Aisle app!

4. All In on…birdwatching?

This trailer for the film, “LISTENERS: A Glimpse into Extreme Birdwatching” has got me hooked. This film is about the non-stop, action-packed game of birdwatching, aka "birding." One thing's for certain: bird watchers go all in. Before you judge, take a look at the trailer; you might be surprised by the competitive edge that the sport has garnered. I might not be All In on birdwatching just yet, but you can count me in on watching this completely free documentary on YouTube.

5. Man dancing at a football game

@gbrotherson

So this happened today! Best Day Ever! @Atlanta Falcons

Last on our list, we have proof that dance and sports don’t need to be mutually exclusive; a man can do both (yes, I’m talking to you, Chad from High School Musical 2). This video of a man dancing at an Atlanta Falcons football game is truly a great time all around. Gary Brotherson, a self-proclaimed “Jorts and Slides enthusiast,” according to his Tik Tok bio, went all in with his energetic dance moves while he was caught on the stadium fan cam.

Thank you for rounding us out this week Gary. We can't wait to see what the internet is going all in on next week!

Snag your free (!!) snack bar here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a bar at Sprouts and text a pic ofv your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

Pets

Yes, even cats have a favorite person. How they choose and how to tell they've picked you.

Just because they seem uninterested doesn't mean they don't pick favorites.

Even cats have a favorite person. Here's how they choose.

Cats may be persnickety at times or appear aloof to the presence of humans, but that doesn't mean they don't have their favorites. Just like dogs, cats also fancy having a human best friend, but unless the feline companion is overly affectionate, one may not know they've been chosen.

Some cats live up to the expectation that they will give the most attention to the person who likes them the least. But most cats are particular about who they choose to give their attention to. In a one-person household, there could be a real possibility that the human in the equation isn't the favorite. After all, cats are not dogs who will be excited by their humans' mere existence. Cats are much more like broke royalty who expect their humans to be grateful for the opportunity to scoop out their litter boxes.

cat; cats; pets; cat's favorite; people and cats; cat snuggles; cat behavior Curious cat and baby share a gentle moment on the grass.Photo credit: Canva

Due to the imaginary royal title, a cat is much more discerning about who they give their priceless attention to. Usually, it's easy to tell who kitty has designated as their favorite person in a multi-person household. But the question remains, how do they pick their person?

According to Union Lake Veterinary Hospital, "People who communicate with their cat by getting to know their cues and motives are more attractive to their cat companions." They added, "Another reason behind their preference is the cat’s breed or personality. If your cat is the type who wants to be chill and relax, they will probably gravitate towards the family member who is calm and quiet. Playful, energetic cats who love to stay active will likely choose a friend who gives them this exercise and attention. In fact, it may be that your cat is revealing something about you in why they choose to love you best."

cat; cats; pets; cat's favorite; people and cats; cat snuggles; cat behavior Feline friends sharing a tender moment by the window.Photo credit: Canva

Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist and founder of Cat Behavior Solutions, Molly DeVoss, explains to Rover that cats prefer people who have a calming presence, feed them, and play with them. She also shares how trauma in a cat's early life influences how they form attachments to humans. "If a cat (or kitten) were in an abusive or neglectful situation with a certain demographic, they’re more likely to feel uncomfortable and unsafe around some types of people."

How can you tell if a cat has chosen you as their favorite human?

Cats will let you know that you might be their favorite person by doing a few things. According to DeVoss, if a cat is keen on you being their number one human, they'll do things like headbutt your hands, legs, and even forehead. They'll bring you their toys, rub their scent on you, rub their teeth or mouth on you, and groom you by licking your hair. DeVoss also says that when a cat exposes their belly or flops around briefly, it displays a deep level of trust.

cat; cats; pets; cat's favorite; people and cats; cat snuggles; cat behavior A sweet moment shared with a fluffy friend.Photo credit: Canva

To become your cat's favorite person, you may need to start sharing some common interests. That doesn't mean you have to stalk bugs or start knocking things off of counters, but if your cat likes watching out the window, you can make it a shared activity. Cats can also be trained to perform tricks, especially those that are active and attentive to their surroundings. You can even get a cat play yard or "catio" for the ones that seem as if they're longing to do some porch sitting with you.

You can also bond with them by talking to them throughout the day, even if they don't know what you're saying, Union Lake Veterinary Hospital says. Being affectionate with your cat more often, with pets, hugs, and scratches, will make them feel loved and safe. Doing some of these things will have your feline companion purring their little hearts out in no time.

Community

A state in the Midwest edged out Texas as the 'friendliest'—sparking a fierce debate

People note the difference between being "friendly" and being "kind."

https://www.canva.com/photos

Two friendly neighbors wave hello.

Americans are often proud of their home states for a variety of reasons. Maybe they have the best chili, whale-watching, or music scenes. Sometimes it's for more substantial reasons, like a strong statewide healthcare system or robust environmental laws. But when it comes to downright friendliness, nearly everyone thinks they're doing it right.

As a Texan living in Los Angeles, it's baffled me that people don't routinely say hello—at least not in my part of town. Even when it's just me and one other person in an elevator, they will often do anything but make eye contact. Back in Dallas, I'd have left that elevator ride with an Instagram follow and an invite to Thanksgiving. (Okay, slight exaggeration.)

As we rolled into 2025, the World Population Review (which, according to its website, reviews "solid data" and polling, "beyond population statistics to cover economics, geography, and social trends") had a big finding about the "friendliest" state.

WCCO CBS reported, "The study found that Minnesota is the friendliest state." This edged out Texas and other notoriously friendly-seeming states in that region (depending on who you ask). They continued, "So the top five is: Minnesota, Tennessee, South Carolina, Texas, and oh yes – Wyoming." They further add, "Apparently, Wyoming is so friendly that you can leave your keys in the car with the engine running and no one will touch your car."

- A report on which state is the friendliest. www.youtube.com, WCCO

The anchors then have a conversation about it, one of them sharing, "Part of why I'm still here is I'm having a great 'people experience.'" The other anchor chimes in, "I knew about the reputation coming in. I had a roommate from Minnesota, and he was like, 'You could just leave your house unlocked in your neighborhood and no one would bother you.' Everyone was just really friendly and kind." (He notes that people are a tad grumpy after a Vikings loss, though.)

There was some pushback on the "Minnesota nice" reputation, with one anchor claiming people can be passive-aggressive. At the same time, the others hadn't quite experienced that, a few in the comments shared in the sentiment.

But of course, not everyone agrees with the ranking. Over on Reddit, a recent post asks, "What's the friendliest state and why?" This got 1.6 thousand comments, and, as one might imagine, they're quite varied. One person jokes, "I predict 50 different answers, lol."

What became extremely apparent early in the comments was the attempt to find a nuanced definition of what it means to be "friendly" in the first place. There was quite a distinction between what was considered "friendly" and what was considered "kind."

One person writes, "I think New England has kind people, but they aren’t particularly 'friendly.' Folks won’t stop for idle chit-chat and small talk, but if they see you’re in actual need of assistance, they’ll move mountains to help a stranger."

maine, new england, friendliness, lighthouse, U.S. A lighthouse overlooks the ocean in Maine. Giphy

Another agrees, "I can see that. Friendly can mean different things to different people. I can't speak for most of the other states in NE, but as a Mainer, we do generally keep to ourselves, but that's more about being reserved as opposed to being standoffish, though it can look like that. We're more than happy to talk to folks and have a good time. The easiest way to start a conversation as a tourist is to ask a local what restaurant they'd recommend. You'll have a great conversation, and probably some great food too!"

A Jersey person enters the chat to say sometimes what is considered "friendly" feels like too much to them. "I’m from NJ, so I’m used to some abrasive but friendly strangers, if that makes sense. Like, I’ll hold the door for you, but call you a shmuck while I do. I travel to NC often, and the people there are generally just nice for no reason. Lots of baby name-calling – 'honey,' 'sweetheart' – even if they don’t know you. Also, courtesy is kind of just a given there. Part of me is creeped out by the overt kindness because I'm used to most people just minding their business, not being 'too much.'"

friendliness, southern charm, kindness, hello, U.S. A woman tips her hat and says hello. Giphy GIF by StickerGiant

In an Upworthy article from last year, staff writer Annie Reneau discussed the "nice vs. kind" debate, couched in an East Coast-West Coast rivalry. She quotes an X commenter, who writes, "Niceness is saying 'I'm so sorry you're cold,' while kindness may be 'Ugh, you've said that five times, here's a sweater!' Kindness is addressing the need, regardless of tone."

Many on the Reddit thread also note that friendliness and kindness can be subjective, depending on one's ethnicity, gender, etc. It's certainly not a one-size-fits-all experience. And at the end of the day, the first commenter was correct. Nearly every state was represented with excellent reasons for why its state was lovely.

Learning

27 English words people have a hard time enunciating properly, even native speakers

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky."

Image via Canva/Povozniuk

English words that are difficult to enunciate.

The English language is hard to master, even for native speakers. With over an estimated one million words in the language, not only are English words hard to memorize—they can be hard to properly pronounce and enunciate. Getting tripped up with pronunciation can make your communication unclear, or worse—make you sound uneducated.

As American English teacher Vanessa explains, many mispronounced words are common and used in daily conversation due to tricky consonants and vowels in English words. But by knowing the proper pronunciation, it can help you become a more confident speaker, which is why she shared 33 words that are hard for English language learners to pronounce, such as "probably," "drawer," and "sixth."

On the subreddit r/words, a person posed the question: "What's a word you've noticed many native English speakers have difficulty enunciating even though the word is used fairly often?"

Turns out, there are a menagerie of words people notoriously stumble over. These are 27 English words that people say are the hardest to enunciate.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Tricky 'R' words

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky." - common_grounder

"Rural." - Silent-Database5613

“'Nucular' for nuclear." - throwawayinthe818

"Remuneration v renumeration (first one is correct)." - RonanH69

"February. It sounds like you're pronouncing it like it's spelled Febuary. But it's spelled February." - SDF5-0, ShadedSpaces

"Mirror. Some people pronounce it 'meer'." - weinthenolababy, diversalarums

"Anthropomorphize is a word I have to use semi-frequently with limited success each attempt." - ohn_the_quain

"I can’t say the phrase 'rear wheel' without considerable effort." - ohn_the_quain

"Eraser (erasure, but they're talking about the pink rubber thing)." - evlmgs

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Multiple syllables

"Exacerbated vs exasperated." - SNAFU-lophagus

"'Asterisk'. A lot of people wind up inadvertently name-checking Asterix. I think it's best for those who struggle to use the alternative name for that punctuation mark, the 'Nathan Hale', after the American patriot who famously declared, 'I can only regret that I have but one asterisk for my country!'" - John_EightThirtyTwo

"I realized recently I have always mispronounced mischievous. It's mis-chiv-us, not mis-chee-vee-us. I don't know if I've ever heard anyone pronounce that correctly." - callmebigley"

'Supposebly' [supposedly]. Drives me up the wall." - BlushBrat

"Library. My coworker knows I hate it, so he’ll say Liberry every time." - Jillypenny"ET cetera, not 'ect' cetera. I think people are used to seeing the abbreviation etc and since there is no diphthong tc in English their mind bends it into ect." - AdFrequent4623

"The amount of people who say Pacific when they're trying to stay specific is pretty alarming. I'm not even sure if they know it's a different word sometimes." - Global-Discussion-41

"Then there was my old boss who would confidently and consistently use the word tenant when he meant tenet." - jaelith"

"Probably." - Rachel_Silver

"Contemplate. It's one of those word I hear people stumble over more than anything, often it comes out as Comtemplate, Contempate or a combination of both." - megthebat49

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Foods

"Turmeric. People drop the first R. It drives me nuts!" - Jillypenny

"Oh, and it’s espresso, no X [ex-presso]." - Jillypenny

"Also cardamom with an N." - nemmalur

"Pumpkin (punkin)." - evlmgs

espresso, espresso gif, sipping espresso, espresso drink, drinking espresso sipping modern family GIF Giphy

Awkward vowels

"Crayon 👑. My ex pronounced it 'cran'. Drove me up a wall." - rickulele, premeditatedlasagna

'Mute' for moot. A good friend of mine, who's extremely intelligent and articulate otherwise, says that. Unfortunately, it's a word she likes to use. I haven't had the heart to tell her she's pronouncing it incorrectly, and it's been three decades." NewsSad5006, common_grounder

"Jewelry." - weinthenolababy

"I hear grown adults calling wolves woofs and they're not doing it to be funny." - asexualrhino

Education

Communications expert shares 'powerful' 3-word trick to skip small talk for real rapport

"Here's a powerful game I love to play when I want to instantly deepen my relationship with someone."

A man and a woman talking in a store.

Is there someone in your life that you see often, but your interactions are merely surface-level small talk? You either talk about the weather, what you watched on television last night, or the people you know in common? It could be a coworker you run across in the kitchen, your brother’s new girlfriend that you’ve never really connected with, or that neighbor you always see at other people’s parties that you never have much to say to.

To build a deeper bond and cut through the veneer of small talk, communications expert Vinh Giang suggests you invite them for a round of an old theater game: High, Low, Buffalo. Giang, a keynote speaker who teaches communication and presentation skills, also performs magic.

“Here's a powerful game I love to play when I want to instantly deepen my relationship with someone,” he writes on Instagram. “It's called High, Low, Buffalo, a game commonly played in the world of theatre, and it allows you to discover three topics of conversation. High is something going great, low is something challenging you're going through, and buffalo is something interesting about you."


High, Low, Buffalo questions:

1. What is something that’s going great for you right now?

2. What is a challenge you’re facing these days?

3. What’s something unique about you?

Giang says you should invite the person to the game, which may take a little courage. But anyone you work with, live near, or has just joined your family would probably never say no. He starts the game with a little script: “This might seem a little bit strange, but I really want to get to know you. I love this game called High Low Buffalo. Could I quickly play this game with you? Is that okay?”

At first, it may seem like a big ask in order to build a deeper connection. However, the game is predicated on one of the basic rules that all communications experts know: just about everyone loves to talk about themselves. Studies show that one of the easiest ways to become more likable is to ask people multiple questions and let them talk for most of the time.

The three-word trick to build rapport fast

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The High, Low, Buffalo game is also handy because it creates multiple potential conversation threads and topics for you and your conversation partner to expand on.

“The moment you do this, you build instant rapport, and then when you're in rapport, they will then ask you about your threads," Giang says in a YouTube video explaining the game. "This is the power and and if they don't ask you about your threads, then you bring your threads in."

conversation, woman having coffee, two women chatting, communication, small talk, Two women enjoying a coffee.via Canva/Photos

For those who are a little reluctant to ask their new friend or coworker to play the game, the basic questions are still great for elevating your small talk. The questions are open-ended, which allows your conversation partner to go beyond a simple yes-or-no answer and to open up and talk about themselves.

Ultimately, building your conversational skills is a great way to improve your career, social life, or romantic relationships. For those who feel they’re just not a natural at conversation, Giang's methods show that just about anyone can become a great conversationalist by learning a few simple tools and a bit about human nature.

@sarahwithscrubs/TikTok, used with permission

Honestly, most of us would have reacted this way.

It started like any ordinary pharmacy errand. A Michigan woman named Sarah was waiting at CVS to pick up a prescription for her “son.” When another woman waiting in line overheard the name of her “son,” she apparently couldn’t help but let out an unsolicited opinion.

“You’ll really name your son anything, huh?” the woman said with a sigh.

The name in question? Whiskey.

baby names, dog names, golden retriever, name shame, cvs, funny, funny tiktok, funny dog videos, names At least it wasn't Bubbles. Photo credit: Canva

Now, if you’re picturing a tiny human in a onesie named after your dad’s favorite Friday-night drink, and feeling a little baffled in the process, don’t worry. So was everyone else.

Except Whiskey isn’t a little boy. He’s a red golden retriever.

Yep. Sarah’s “son” is of the four-legged variety, currently undergoing cancer treatments and racking up a pharmacy bill that could rival a small country’s GDP. She and her husband get his prescriptions filled at their local CVS because (fun fact) many human and animal meds are the same, just at different doses.

baby names, dog names, golden retriever, name shame, cvs, funny, funny tiktok, funny dog videos, names You just know there's a person named Whiskey out there getting a kick out of this. media4.giphy.com

As Sarah explained to Newsweek, this strategy saves them a few bucks, but can certainly lead to some incredible misunderstandings.

In her TikTok video, which has now been watched over 3 million times, Sarah retold this CVS name-shaming incident, and viewers collectively lost it.

@sarahwithscrubs I should’ve thrown in I was picking up his cancer meds too lol 🤭😂 #fyp #foryoupage #storytime #dogs #smallcreator ♬ original sound - sarah renee

One commenter shared, “I was shaming you too until you said dog!” Another wrote, “I mean, Whiskey is a horrible name for a child 😂 But for a dog? Okay lol.”

However, a few folks came to Sarah’s defense. One person noted, “There are women named Brandi—what’s wrong with Whiskey?” Another admitted, “in my 49 years I didn't know CVS filled pet meds!"

It’s the kind of mix-up that reminds us how funny life can be when the human and animal worlds collide. Because let’s face it: Whiskey the dog? Adorable. Whiskey the toddler? Maybe… less so. It might be a mostly unspoken rule, but a rule nonetheless.

As for what became of that misunderstanding, Sarah shared that when the other woman called Whiskey a "horrible" name for a child to grow up with that could lead to getting bullied in school, Sarah quipped back with "Well, he's a dog. So I don't think so." Upon that realization, Sarah told Newsweek that she “apologized very nicely” once she learned that Whiskey was, in fact, a dog.

As Sarah put it, the stranger “just left in a hurry, probably to think about her actions later.”

Meanwhile, TikTok is still chuckling, and celebrating one very good boy with a name that fits him perfectly.

Moral of the story: some names are meant for baby humans, like Zach or Emma. Others are for the fur babies who greet you at the door with a wagging tail and oodles of love…like Whiskey. 🐾🥃