I asked Lucy McBath to tell me about her son, Jordan Davis. She welcomed the opportunity.
"Thank you for asking," she says. "Some people say 'Oh, I'm afraid to ask,' I'm like 'No, ask me about him.' It helps keep him alive for me."
Jordan was a really, good kid — thoughtful and kind. Raised mostly by McBath in Atlanta, he made friends easily, and invited them over to his house for home-cooked meals and sleepovers.
"He was the kind of kid that would bring people together. He was really, really good at that," she says. "He was really good at being the center of attention, like the light."
Jordan was curious and inquisitive. He enjoyed learning about history, social sciences, and other cultures. As a child, he once spent a year pretending he could speak Japanese.
That's the son McBath remembers.
"He had all kinds of friends. I was very proud of that, that he had that kind of ability to love people. Simply love people for who they were."
Photo via Lucy McBath, used with permission.
Jordan Davis was shot and killed on Friday, Nov. 23, 2012, in Jacksonville, Florida.
It was the day after Thanksgiving. Jordan, 17, was in an SUV with three friends, picking up snacks and cigarettes from a gas station convenience store. Michael David Dunn and his girlfriend were in town for a wedding and pulled into the next parking space. Dunn told the boys to turn down their music. After a shouting match with Jordan, Dunn alleged that Jordan opened the door of the SUV and pointed a shotgun in his direction. Dunn took a handgun out of his glove box and started shooting into the SUV.
Tommie, the driver and Jordan's friend, floored the SUV backward, fleeing the gunfire. Dunn opened his door one more time to get a few more shots off. He later told police he feared for his life, though police never found a shotgun in or around the SUV, and witnesses never saw one.
In the aftermath, Dunn sped away to his hotel. The boys pulled into a nearby shopping center to assess the damage. Three of them were physically unscathed but covered in blood. Jordan was hit three times. He gasped for air and died shortly after. Dunn and his girlfriend didn't call the police. In fact, they made drinks and ordered a pizza.
McBath was in Chicago with her family for Thanksgiving while Jordan had stayed with his father in Jacksonville. The night of the shooting, McBath felt compelled to slip away from the table and go to the bedroom.
"I had no reason to go to the bedroom," she says. "When I got up there, I saw Jordan's father's face on the phone as the phone was lighting up, and that was the first phone call that I got."
At that moment, a cruel, indelible line etched itself on her life — before Jordan's death and after.
Lucy McBath, mother of Jordan Davis, cries during a Hillary Clinton for South Carolina Breaking Down Barriers forum. Photo by Mark Makela/Getty Images.
During his trial, Dunn cited the language of Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law.
Florida and 23 other states allow individuals to use deadly force to defend or protect themselves against real or perceived threats. Stand Your Ground laws made the headlines in 2012 when another Florida man, George Zimmerman, "stood his ground" against Trayvon Martin, a 17-year old kid holding an iced tea and Skittles. Zimmerman shot and killed Trayvon and, after a well-publicized trial, walked away a free man.
George Zimmerman leaves the courtroom a free man after being found not guilty. Photo by Joe Burbank-Pool/Getty Images.
Dunn, however, was convicted of attempted murder for shooting at the other boys in the car. After a mistrial and retrial, nearly two years after the shooting, Dunn was convicted of the murder of Jordan Davis. He will spend the rest of his life behind bars.
"We are very grateful that justice has been served, justice not only for Jordan, but justice for Trayvon (Martin) and justice for all the nameless, faceless children and people that will never have a voice," McBath told the press after Dunn's retrial.
Since Jordan's murder, McBath has worked tirelessly for gun violence prevention.
Just months after the shooting, McBath was asked to speak about "Stand Your Ground" legislation in Georgia. One opportunity led to another, and before long, she was approached by the gun violence prevention advocacy group, Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America to become their volunteer national spokesperson.
Lucy McBath testifies during a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on "Stand Your Ground" laws in Washington, D.C. Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images.
Moms Demand Action was formed by a stay-at-home mom one day after the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School. The group now has more than 60,000 volunteers in all 50 states and 4 million supporters working to advance real policy changes at the municipal, state, and national levels.
"We are the largest nonpartisan gun violence prevention organization in the country," McBath says. "We have helped pass background checks on all gun sales in seven states. We have passed laws in 24 states to prevent domestic abusers from getting guns."
McBath is now on staff for Moms Demand Action, working to engage people of color, faith communities, and other traditionally underrepresented groups in the gun violence prevention conversation. The fight is hard, but each victory feels good and keeps her close to her son.
But as many victories McBath has had as a gun violence prevention advocate, there's still one outstanding: speaking directly to NRA leadership.
While the opportunity to speak with the lobby's executives hasn't presented itself, McBath knows just what she'll say. It's clearly written on her heart and pours out of her effortlessly, filled with fire and vigor. (Emphasis added.)
"I would say to them, they have placed profit over public safety. That they have had their hands in the back pockets of our legislators, and that we are no longer going to allow them to do that. ... We understand what they're doing and we will continue to fight them tooth and nail. They might be a Goliath, but we are the David and we will continue to challenge them every moment we get. ... We will empower citizens as to the truth of what they're doing. And we will continue to protect our families and our communities against their extremist agenda of guns everywhere, every place, no questions asked. We are not afraid of them. And we will continue to build our army in opposition to their extremist agenda. And they can count on that."
Her words ring out like a rallying cry. It doesn't matter who you are or what you do, gun violence is infecting our communities. And it must stop.
Lucy McBath (right) delivers remarks as Geneva Reed-Veal (center), mother of Sandra Bland; Gwen Carr (second from left), mother of Eric Garner; and Annette Nance-Holt (left), mother of Blair Holt look on during the second day of the Democratic National Convention. Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.
Lucy McBath can't bring her son back. But sharing his story and fighting for common sense reforms could save someone else's.
And through her advocacy work, Jordan's legacy lives on in safer schools, communities, and public spaces. His is a light that will never go out.
Photo via Lucy McBath, used with permission.
"He was a really good, kid."
Our mouths loves chips. Our bodies not so much.Photo by 
You can eat well without giving up sweets completely.Photo by 
12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.