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upworthy
Health

Here are the 17 types of people who deserve a lot more sympathy than they ever get

People in “unskilled” positions deserve a lot more credit.

sympathy, empathy, invisible problems

Shy and depressed people deserve our sympathy.

The world would be a lot better if we all could put our prejudices aside and see people for who they are as individuals. If we learned how to lean in with our hearts a bit more instead of our judgmental minds, we’d probably treat each other with much more sympathy.

Sadly, we still have a long way to go as a society until we reach that point.

One of the most significant ways that we misjudge others is by attributing their status, appearance and social skills to their moral compass. People who are economically disadvantaged, overweight, or socially awkward are often cast in a negative light because many think that everyone who falls short of a societal “ideal” have done so out of laziness.

However, that type of thinking is lazy in and of itself.


The saying goes, “You never know what anyone is going through, so be kind,” and it’s true. There are a lot of people out there who are struggling with things we don’t realize. Further, we have no idea what people have overcome to be where they are today.

To help people better understand what others are going through, a Reddit user by the name of anthropocener47 asked the online forum, “What kind of people often get treated with less sympathy?” Many responses are in support of those who are struggling with issues we can’t see.

The post went viral on Reddit, earning over 8,000 comments. The responses were a great reminder that we are often quick to judge others while knowing very little about them.

So here are 17 types of people that could use much more sympathy.

1.

"Disabled people or people born with deformities/rare diseases." — KommandaKoopa

2.

"People missing front teeth." — bizobimba

RogerSaysHi added:

"This really sucks too. My husband fell and broke a front tooth a few years ago. We've tried getting it fixed several times, but the fixes just break off. We're going to have to get him an implant, as he's getting older, his teeth are getting more brittle. It's just that implants cost as much as a damned used car. You can tell that it has kind of killed his confidence a little bit. He doesn't smile as much as he used to. It absolutely blows."

3.

"Socially inept people—can be due to disorders or simply due to awkwardness. If you can't play the game and act 'normal,' sooner or later you will be made to pay for it. Sooner than later, probably." — RavensQueen502

4.

"The homeless, the poor, the mentally ill." — Ok-Equivalent-8509

SchemataObscura added:

"Came to say all of those and addiction."

5.

"Poor people." — Pretty-Benefit-233

Cmc added:

"This. There's a real disdain towards poorer people like they should magically be able to make more money. For lots of people, they have disadvantages that make that more difficult—lack of education or support, lack of time, illness or disability, or even just being stuck in a neverending cycle and having to time/money/ability to get themselves out. For some others, they prioritize other parts of life over money, and there's nothing wrong with making that choice for yourself."

6.

"Ugly people 100%." — dannywarpick

7.

"I had a hard time sympathizing with people who suffer from severe anxiety. My attitude was always 'just deal with it, stress is temporary.' Last summer, there was a series of events that triggered unprecedented anxiety for me, I didn't eat for days at a time, barely slept, and could barely function at work. It was absolutely debilitating and felt completely uncontrollable. A week on vacation helped but it came back as soon as I got home. So I went to my doctor and he prescribed a few meds, which helped a lot. Now I understand that kind of crippling anxiety, and I'm a lot more sympathetic to those who struggle to manage it." — EncanisUnbound

8.

"People in 'unskilled' positions. Sure, a burger flipper or custodian doesn’t need a college degree, but unskilled =/= not hard work. Having to prepare so much food in little time, deal with rude customers, and cleaning up stuff. The number of stories of people smearing poop on the walls. The stuff these people go through, people should feel sympathy." — guzhogi

Brilliant Tourist added:

"Skilled tradespeople get no respect, and they deserve ALL the respect. We freaking NEED auto mechanics and plumbers. Without them, the world doesn’t run, period, full stop."

9.

"Fat people. I’ve been fat and I’ve been skinny and the difference in how people treat you is astounding." — iamanachogirl

Ragingfeminineflower added:

"I said this too. I’ve been both also. I lost weight and didn’t understand why suddenly everyone smiled at me, people started to bend over backward to help me with things, greeted me more, gave me more genuine conversation even… and yes, genuine respect. I slowly started to realize why. I am and always have been the same person, but I know who others terribly are now."

10.

"Depressed or sad people. It's a nightmare..." — disabled-R1ggs

11.

"People that don't smile. My best friend is an absolute angel of a person but I've only seen him smile a few times over the last 7 years. Traumatic events are a mother f***er." – rockonyou717

12.

"The extremely socially awkward among us. My younger brother has been diagnosed with OCD and autism, has zero friends, and has never been kissed or dated in even the most elementary type way (he's almost 25 now). The world has not been kind to him throughout all this and it breaks my heart." — [deleted]

rocket_dog 1980 added:

"Boy, this hits hard. My oldest son (17) is incredibly awkward. Adults (my friends and teachers) treat him great and have nothing but positive things to say about him. He has not been embraced by his peers though. He doesn't have any friends his age. Most kids avoid him altogether. Sad."

13.

"People who die of suicide. My cousin killed himself when he was 19. I was shocked at how people (many who didn’t even know him) reacted when they found out. People got angry at him and talked about how selfish he was. The priest who did the service at his funeral couldn’t even bother to express sympathy for him. He had a very hard 19 years—neglectful parents (bad enough to be removed by CPS), juvenile detention, and battling heroin addiction, and spent his last few moments hanging from an extension cord in a moldy basement. If that doesn’t make someone worthy of sympathy I don’t know what does." — ladyphase

14.

"Shy people." — RudolfMaster

15.

"The elderly. Elder abuse is rampant." — janice-mericson

16.

"People who lose their temper when desperately trying to get people to understand that they have been abused." — Salty_Technician2481

17.

"Migrant workers. Imagine moving to a different country, you work your ass off to earn a good living, and some stupid bastards tell you that you’re lazy or you’re 'taking jobs from more deserving people.' Xenophobia is the most prominent form of bigotry where I’m from and it is all just hateful, ridiculous slander." — sheldonisautistic


Science

MIT’s trillion-frames-per-second camera can capture light as it travels

"There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

Photo from YouTube video.

Photographing the path of light.

A new camera developed at MIT can photograph a trillion frames per second.

Compare that with a traditional movie camera which takes a mere 24. This new advancement in photographic technology has given scientists the ability to photograph the movement of the fastest thing in the Universe, light.


The actual event occurred in a nano second, but the camera has the ability to slow it down to twenty seconds.

time, science, frames per second, bounced light

The amazing camera.

Photo from YouTube video.

For some perspective, according to New York Times writer, John Markoff, "If a bullet were tracked in the same fashion moving through the same fluid, the resulting movie would last three years."


In the video below, you'll see experimental footage of light photons traveling 600-million-miles-per-hour through water.

It's impossible to directly record light so the camera takes millions of scans to recreate each image. The process has been called femto-photography and according to Andrea Velten, a researcher involved with the project, "There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

(H/T Curiosity)


This article originally appeared on 09.08.17

@thehalfdeaddad/TikTok

Dad on TikTok shared how he addressed his son's bullying.

What do you do when you find out your kid bullied someone? For many parents, the first step is forcing an apology. While this response is of course warranted, is it really effective? Some might argue that there are more constructive ways of handling the situation that teach a kid not only what they did wrong, but how to make things right again.

Single dad Patrick Forseth recently shared how he made a truly teachable moment out of his son, Lincoln, getting into trouble for bullying. Rather than forcing an apology, Forseth made sure his son was actively part of a solution.


The thought process behind his decision, which he explained in a now-viral TikTok video, is both simple and somewhat racial compared to how many parents have been encouraged to handle similar situations.

“I got an email a few days ago from my 9-year-old son's teacher that he had done a ‘prank’ to a fellow classmate and it ended up embarrassing the classmate and hurt his feelings,” the video begins.

At this point, Forseth doesn’t split hairs. “I don't care who you are, that's bullying,” he said. “If you do something to somebody that you know has the potential end result of them being embarrassed in front of a class or hurt—you’re bullying.”

So, Forseth and Lincoln sat down for a long talk (a talk, not a lecture) about appropriate punishment and how it would have felt to be on the receiving end of such a prank.

From there, Forseth told his son that he would decide how to make things right, making it a masterclass in taking true accountability.

“I demanded nothing out of him. I demanded no apology, I demanded no apology to the teacher,” he continued, adding, “I told him that we have the opportunity to go back and make things right. We can't take things back, but we can try to correct things and look for forgiveness.”

@thehalfdeaddad Replying to @sunshinyday1227 And then it’s my kid 🤦‍♂️😡 #endbullyingnow #talktoyourkidsmore #dadlifebestlife #singledadsover40 #teachyourchildren #ReadySetLift ♬ Get You The Moon - Kina

So what did Lincoln do? He went back to his school and actually talked to the other boy he pranked. After learning that they shared a love of Pokémon, he then went home to retrieve two of his favorite Pokémon cards as a peace offering, complete with a freshly cleaned case.

Lincoln would end up sharing with his dad that the other boy was so moved by the gesture that he would end up hugging him.

“I just want to encourage all parents to talk to your kids,” Forseth concluded. “Let's try to avoid just the swat on the butt [and] send them to their room. Doesn't teach them anything.”

In Forseth’s opinion, kids get far more insight by figuring out how to resolve a problem themselves. “That's what they're actually going to face in the real world once they move out of our nests.”

He certainly has a point. A slap on the wrist followed by being marched down somewhere to say, “I’m sorry,” only further humiliates kids most of the time. With this gentler approach, kids are taught the intrinsic value of making amends after wrongdoing, not to mention the power of their own autonomy. Imagine that—blips in judgment can end up being major character-building moments.

Kudos to this dad and his very smart parenting strategy.


This article originally appeared on 3.24.23

Representative image from Canva

Because who can keep up with which laundry settings is for which item, anyway?

Once upon a time, our only option for getting clothes clean was to get out a bucket of soapy water and start scrubbing. Nowadays, we use fancy machines that not only do the labor for us, but give us free reign to choose between endless water temperature, wash duration, and spin speed combinations.

Of course, here’s where the paradox of choice comes in. Suddenly you’re second guessing whether that lace item needs to use the “delicates” cycle, or the “hand wash” one, or what exactly merits a “permanent press” cycle. And now, you’re wishing for that bygone bucket just to take away the mental rigamarole.

Well, you’re in luck. Turns out there’s only one setting you actually need. At least according to one laundry expert.

While appearing on HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast, Patric Richardson, aka The Laundry Evangelist, said he swears by the “express” cycle, as “it’s long enough to get your clothes clean but it’s short enough not to cause any damage.”

Richardson’s reasoning is founded in research done while writing his book, “Laundry Love,” which showed that even the dirtiest items would be cleaned in the “express” cycle, aka the “quick wash” or “30 minute setting.”


Furthermore the laundry expert, who’s also the host of HGTV’s “Laundry Guy,” warned that longer wash settings only cause more wear and tear, plus use up more water and power, making express wash a much more sustainable choice.

Really, the multiple settings washing machines have more to do with people being creatures of habit, and less to do with efficiency, Richardson explained.

“All of those cycles [on the washing machine] exist because they used to exist,” he told co-hosts Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson. “We didn’t have the technology in the fabric, in the machine, in the detergent [that we do now], and we needed those cycles. In the ’70s, you needed the ‘bulky bedding’ cycle and the ‘sanitary’ cycle ... it was a legit thing. You don’t need them anymore, but too many people want to buy a machine and they’re like, ‘My mom’s machine has “whitest whites.”’ If I could build a washing machine, it would just have one button — you’d just push it, and it’d be warm water and ‘express’ cycle and that’s it.”
washing machine

When was the last time you washed you washing machine? "Never" is a valid answer.

Canva

According to Good Housekeeping, there are some things to keep in mind if you plan to go strictly express from now on.

For one thing, the outlet recommends only filling the machine halfway and using a half dose of liquid, not powder detergent, since express cycles use less water. Second, using the setting regularly can develop a “musty” smell, due to the constant low-temperature water causing a buildup of mold or bacteria. To prevent this, running an empty wash on a hot setting, sans the detergent, is recommended every few weeks, along with regularly scrubbing the detergent drawer and door seal.

Still, even with those additional caveats, it might be worth it just to knock out multiple washes in one day. Cause let’s be honest—a day of laundry and television binging sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?

To catch even more of Richardson’s tips, find the full podcast episode here.


This article originally appeared on 2.4.24

Should babysitters be expected to clean?

When it comes to babysitting, you can hit the jackpot with someone who not only enjoys hanging out with your kiddos but also cleans out of boredom. The only babysitter I've had that experience with is my mom, but I do hear they do exist. While walking into a spotless house after a much-needed night out would be amazing, it's not really part of a standard babysitting package.

Typically, whoever babysits for you is solely there to focus on the well-being of your children. They feed them snacks, play games with them, and follow their bedtime routine to the letter. Then they hang out on your couch reminding Netflix that they're still watching and wait for you to return. Sure, they clean up dishes from dinner and whatever toys were pulled out during their time with your kids, but they don't typically clean your house.

But in a private parenting group I belong to, a long debate was started when a mom asked a group of 260k of her closest friends if it would be appropriate for a parent to ask a babysitter to clean their home.


The anonymous mom explained that her college-aged daughter had recently started babysitting for a family, but on the second day, her duties suddenly changed. There was a list of chores waiting for the babysitter that included cleaning the family's dishes and cleaning up messes that were there before the sitter arrived.

This revelation set off a firestorm of comments with many agreeing that anything outside of cleaning up after the children while they're in your care is a separate job. But not everyone was on the same page and it was clear that this was a topic that was going to cause some intense debate. Since summer months are here, there's no wonder this topic is coming up and views are split.

woman holding kid in the street

Should babysitters be expected to clean, one mom asks.

Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash

Scary Mommy recently published an article posing a similar question, only this was coming from a parent who wanted her babysitter to clean while her children slept. Elizabeth Narins explains that she and her husband are stretched thin and have an active toddler she jokingly calls a "toy tornado."

"Given the amount of housework that clearly needs to be done, paying someone to sit on our toy-covered couch during naps or after bedtime just seems... inefficient," Narins wrote before posing the question. "Is it completely out of line for me to ask her to declutter when my kids are in bed?"

Whether it's the expert interviewed for the Scary Mommy article or the parents in the private group, there does seem to be one common theme among the discourse: Any additional chores should be clarified in the original job description, and if it wasn't, then it should be directly brought up in a conversation with the babysitter.

Many parents in the comments believed that a housekeeper should be hired in addition to the babysitter, while others thought the babysitter should be offered more money for the additional work. But there were several people who thought it was just common courtesy for a babysitter to clean the house while the kids were asleep.

It may seem that you're paying a babysitter to do nothing while your children sleep, but you're paying them to be there in the event of an emergency. No matter which side of the debate you're on, it seems proper communication about expectations will save everyone a headache in the future.

Do you think cleaning should be expected from a babysitter?


This article originally appeared on 6.8.23

CBS Mornings|YouTube

Video shows group of strangers trying to free man from burning car

Getting into a car crash is not something people hope they experience in their lifetimes, and if it does happen you hope it's just a minor fender bender. Unfortunately not all car accidents are minor. One man found himself in a pretty major accident on a Minnesota highway becoming trapped in his car.

According to eye witnesses, the man struck a light pole on the highway, landing with the driver's side of the car pinned against the guardrail. The car quickly becomes engulfed in flames as other drivers rush to the man's side in an attempt to free him from the fiery vehicle. Kadir Tolla caught the whole thing on his dash-cam accidentally when he jumped out of his running car to help.

Multiple people fought flames trying desperately to pull the car door open to let the driver out, but the guardrail thwarts their efforts repeatedly. At some point, Tolla runs to grab a large piece of hard plastic he found on the road and attempts to break the window. Nothing seems to be going in favor of the civilian rescuers.


"He was saying, 'pull me out, pull me out, pull me out,'" Tolla tells Fox News. "We could crack the door a little bit, you know, give him a little air. It [the flames] was actually smacking us in our face but we was just jumping back."

Eventually a "highway helper" arrived and breaks the glass on the driver's side window, which allows the other drivers to pull the man through the window, carrying him to safety. They got him out just in the knick of time because before they could get the unidentified man away from the car, the flames began to dance right where the driver was sitting seconds before.

The entire video is heart stopping, and shows the power of everyday people working together to save a stranger. Watch the heroic rescue below.