7 new nontraditional Empathy Cards that say what other cards can get totally wrong.

Back in May, Emily McDowell Studio released an incredible line of Empathy Cards.

As a cancer survivor, McDowell had been on the receiving end of some good-intentioned wishes that were a little, well, tone-deaf. She wanted to help people find the right thing to say to friends and loved ones going through tough times ... and she totally nailed it. The cards had messages like:

"Please let me be the first person to punch the next person who tells you everything happens for a reason. I'm sorry you're going through this."

And:


"I'm so sorry you're sick. I want you to know that I will never try to sell you on some random treatment I read about on the internet."

The cards were a hit — more than she ever could have anticipated.

"It was mind-blowing, the amount of people these resonated with," Emily told me in a phone interview. Truly humbled by the thousands of emails that poured in from folks, telling her how much these cards meant to them, she set out to create another set.

These seven new Empathy Cards are perfect for a broad range of people we care about who are experiencing illness, hardship, grief, loss, and more.

With humor and smarts, they tackle some of the most common clichés that get tossed around in tough times:

1. God's Plan

All cards shared with permission. Each is linked to Emily McDowell Studio's store so you can go directly there to purchase it if you're interested. Emily McDowell Studio.

2. Five Stages

McDowell explained that she asked her friend McInerny Purmort to help with this card. Purmort blogs at My Husband's Tumor and recently lost her husband to brain cancer, so she unfortunately had a lot of experience to draw on when coming up with the right words to offer someone experiencing grief. Emily McDowell Studio.

3. What Doesn't Kill You

Emily McDowell Studio.

4. Laughter Is the Best Medicine

Emily McDowell Studio.

5. It's a Marathon

Emily McDowell Studio.

6. Take Away Your Pain

Emily McDowell Studio.

7. Not a Burden

McDowell wanted this line of cards to work for people experiencing all sorts of challenges, including mental illness. "I've had depression since I was 11 and I'm almost 40," she told me. "I started taking Prozac when it first came out when I was a kid." She designed this card as an option to share with someone experiencing a mental illness. Emily McDowell Studio.

These are all pretty amazing, right?

Like the first round of Empathy Cards, McDowell hopes these will help fill a rather gaping hole in the market.

Historically, she says, sympathy cards tend to read "like they were written by someone who got the assignment to write a card about X." That's exactly what she didn't want to do when creating her line. Based on the response, it's safe to say she succeeded.

McDowell's company received around 15,000 emails in response to the first line they released.

"It was amazing," she said. "And I tried for a long time to respond to everybody. ... People were sharing very personal, important stories." Eventually, McDowell realized she wouldn't be able to send individual replies to everyone, but she was incredibly touched.

She told me that what really struck her is who sent the emails. About half were from people who had friends or family members going through hard times and felt like they had failed in their responses. She explained that people would tell her:

"'I wasn't able to figure out what to say. I've been sitting here, feeling awful about that for X amount of time and these cards gave me a way to reconnect with that person. I was able to explain — not justify — how I disappeared. Apologize and explain it — and use these as a bridge to have that conversation.'"

The other half of the messages came from people who were ill or who had lost someone. McDowell said they told her: "It feels like I'm being seen. It feels like it validates my reality. This is the first time I've seen something that makes me feel normal." Every one of these messages had an impact on McDowell. "Both of those things were so meaningful to hear," she told me.

When people we care about are going through tough times, it's not easy to know what to say...

When McDowell created the first line of cards, she shared the following:

"The most difficult part of my illness wasn't losing my hair, or being erroneously called 'sir' by Starbucks baristas, or sickness from chemo. It was the loneliness and isolation I felt when many of my close friends and family members disappeared because they didn't know what to say or said the absolute wrong thing without realizing it."

How great is it that we now have cards we can share with the people we love so they don't end up feeling like that? I'm so glad these exist.

Lainey and baby goat Annie. Photo courtesy of Lainey Morse
True

Oftentimes, the journey to our true calling is winding and unexpected. Take Lainey Morse, who went from office manager to creator of the viral trend, Goat Yoga, thanks to her natural affinity for goats and throwing parties.

Back in 2015, Lainey bought a farm in Oregon and got her first goats who she named Ansel and Adams. "Once I got them, I was obsessed," says Lainey. "It was hard to get me off the farm to go do anything else."

Right away, she noticed what a calming presence they had. "Even the way they chew their cud is relaxing to be around because it's very methodical," she says. Lainey was going through a divorce and dealing with a rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis at the time, but even when things got particularly hard, the goats provided relief.

"I found it impossible to be stressed or depressed when I was with them."

She started inviting friends up to the farm for what she called "Goat Happy Hour." Soon, the word spread about Lainey's delightful, stress-relieving furry friends. At one point, she auctioned off a child's birthday party at her farm, and the mom asked if they could do yoga with the goats. And lo, the idea for goat yoga was born.

A baby goat on a yoga student. Photo courtesy of Lainey Morse

Goat yoga went viral so much so that by fall of 2016, Lainey was able to quit her office manager job at a remodeling company to manage her burgeoning goat yoga business full-time. Now she has 10 locations nationwide.

Lainey handles the backend management for all of her locations, and loves that side of the business too, even though it's less goat-related. "I still have my own personal Goat Happy Hour every single day so I still get to spend a lot of time with my goats," says Lainey. "I get the best of both worlds."

Lainey with her goat Fabio. Photo courtesy of Lainey Morse

Since COVID-19 hit, her locations have had to close temporarily. She hopes her yoga locations will be able to resume classes in the spring when the vaccine is more widely available. "I think people will need goat yoga more than ever before, because everyone has been through so much stress in 2020," says Lainey.

Major life changes like Lainey's can come around for any number of reasons. Even if they seem out of left field to some, it doesn't mean they're not the right moves for you. The new FOX series "Call Me Kat", which premieres Sunday, January 3rd after NFL and will continue on Thursday nights beginning January 7th, exemplifies that. The show is centered around Kat, a 39-year old single woman played by Mayim Bialik, who quit her math professor job and spent her life's savings to pursue her dreams to open a Cat Café in Louisville, Kentucky.

Jeff Harry started making similar moves when he was just 10-years-old, and kept making them throughout his life. After seeing the movie "Big,"Jeff knew he wanted to play with toys for a living, so he started writing toy companies asking for next steps. He finally got a response when he was a sophomore in high school — the company told him he needed to become a mechanical engineer first.

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