+
upworthy
More

The problem with this gift-giving video — and why I'm sharing it anyway.

Kids these days...

...they're pretty great, actually. Despite the negative rap they seem to get, if you pay attention, you'll see kids — from toddlers to teens — doing really cool things for each other, thinking of amazing innovations, giving spot-on advice, and just generally being great people.

UPtv (no relation to Upworthy) asked several kids about the one thing they really wanted for Christmas.

The folks behind the video said that the point of it was to serve as a reminder that it's better to give gifts than receive them. Several kids from the Boys & Girls Clubs of Metro Atlanta participated. It's worth noting that UPtv says about 83% of families who are part of the organization struggle to make ends meet. So it's likely that gifts aren't exactly overflowing from under the trees for many of the kids who participated.


After they ask the kids what they wanted, they ask what the kids thought their parents wanted. Then they told the kids they had to choose between the gift for them and the gift for their parents. That's what made me uncomfortable with the premise — it's a sort of social experiment that puts kids who already deal with disadvantage in a crappy situation.

However, I think it's worth sharing because I think they showed something much bigger, far more significant, and unrelated to the uncomfortable point the creators set out to make. They showed that we're raising a generation of empathetic, thoughtful, and kind children who, despite dealing with very real life challenges, are thinking of others. That contradicts the "spoiled, selfish, me generation" narrative we often hear when we talk about kids.

Here's how it played out.

All GIFs via UPtv.

After kids were asked what gift they really wanted for the holidays, they were asked what their parents might want.

Next, the filmmakers brought both sets of gifts to the kids — the items from their wish list and the item the kids thought their parents might like.

And then the filmmakers told the kids there was a catch. They had to choose just one gift: the one for them or the one for their parent.

Every. single. child. chose the gift for their parent.

When asked why they made the choice they did, the kids' reasons were simple, heartfelt, and reflective of their kindness.

In the end, the kids were given both the gift for them and the gift for their parents (which ... thank goodness, because any other outcome would have left me breaking stuff on my desk).

But they didn't know that when they made their decisions, and they still chose to give to someone else. Their parents were touched by their kindness — but I'll bet they weren't surprised.

We shouldn't be surprised either. For the most part, kids are born good people. Michael Tomasello, a psychologist and co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany, said in a 2008 lecture that kids are helpful and cooperative — traits that come naturally.

"They have an almost reflexive desire to help, inform, and share. And they do so without expectation or desire for reward," Tomasello said, according to a Stanford University news article. As they get older, Tomasello said, they become aware of their surroundings, how others perceive them, and how their actions are received.

It makes sense that when kids are nurtured to be empathetic people, that natural predisposition will grow.

So the next time you hear someone comment on "kids these days," you can remind them that kids these days are pretty damn great.

And despite the many challenges and obstacles that so many face, our youngest generation is full of loving, thoughtful human beings.


Doctors say a lot of us are showering more than we need to.

A few times in recent years, celebrities and social media influencers alike have made waves by sharing that they don't make their kids bathe every day. For some parents, that was totally par for the course, but for others, letting a child go more than a day without bathing was seen as a travesty.

Doctors have made it clear that kids don't need to bathe daily, with some going so far as to recommend against it when they are young to protect kids' delicate skin.

But what about grownups? Most of us don't take baths regularly as adults, but what's the ideal frequency for showering?

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

Daughter explains brutal obituary she wrote for her father about his ‘bad parenting'

"Everything I was going to write was going to be a lie. He hated a liar..."

Photo by John Thomas on Unsplash

The last resting place for father Leslie Ray Charping.

Everyone is entitled to a few nice words at their funeral, as the adage goes. Normally, this is a non-issue. Flaws can be ignored or overlooked for the sake of harmony and a peaceful, optimistic send-off.

But what if the flaws created too much damage and heartache to go without saying?

Sheila Smith made headlines last week with an obituary that was as honest in what can only be described as a brutal sense. Brutal for the departed, her father Leslie Ray Charping, and brutal for the family that had to endure his life and death.

Here's the obituary in its entirety, taken from the website of Carnes Funeral Home:

Keep ReadingShow less
Health

Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

Mel Robinson making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control.

“It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

Keep ReadingShow less
Education

The very real story of how one woman prevented a national tragedy by doing her job

Frances Oldham Kelsey believed thorough research saves lives. She was so right.

Image by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

Dr. Frances Oldham Kelsey and President John F. Kennedy.

True
Seventh Generation


Dr. Frances Oldham Kelsey had only been with the Food and Drug Administration for about a month when she was tasked with reviewing a drug named thalidomide for distribution in America.

Marketed as a sedative for pregnant women, thalidomide was already available in Canada, Germany, and several African countries.

Keep ReadingShow less
Images via Alan Taylor/Flickr, used with permission.

Updating the kitchen.


Remember those beloved Richard Scarry books?

Books from when you were a kid?

Keep ReadingShow less
Pop Culture

Heroic sanitation workers save abducted, 10-year-old girl while on their trash route

"I was just doing my job man. I was just doing my job and actually came across somebody who needed help."

via Dion Merrick / Facebook

At 1:30 am on a Monday morning in February, an AMBER Alert went out in southern Louisiana about a missing 10-year-old girl from New Iberia. It was believed she had been kidnapped and driven away in a 2012 silver Nissan Altima.

A few hours later at 7 am, Dion Merrick and Brandon Antoine, sanitation workers for Pelican Waste, were on their daily route when they noticed a vehicle that fit the description in the alert.

Keep ReadingShow less