The problem with this gift-giving video — and why I'm sharing it anyway.

Upworthy's book GOOD PEOPLE, now available - take a look!

Shop
 Explore 

Kids these days...

...they're pretty great, actually. Despite the negative rap they seem to get, if you pay attention, you'll see kids — from toddlers to teens — doing really cool things for each other, thinking of amazing innovations, giving spot-on advice, and just generally being great people.

UPtv (no relation to Upworthy) asked several kids about the one thing they really wanted for Christmas.

The folks behind the video said that the point of it was to serve as a reminder that it's better to give gifts than receive them. Several kids from the Boys & Girls Clubs of Metro Atlanta participated. It's worth noting that UPtv says about 83% of families who are part of the organization struggle to make ends meet. So it's likely that gifts aren't exactly overflowing from under the trees for many of the kids who participated.

After they ask the kids what they wanted, they ask what the kids thought their parents wanted. Then they told the kids they had to choose between the gift for them and the gift for their parents. That's what made me uncomfortable with the premise — it's a sort of social experiment that puts kids who already deal with disadvantage in a crappy situation.

However, I think it's worth sharing because I think they showed something much bigger, far more significant, and unrelated to the uncomfortable point the creators set out to make. They showed that we're raising a generation of empathetic, thoughtful, and kind children who, despite dealing with very real life challenges, are thinking of others. That contradicts the "spoiled, selfish, me generation" narrative we often hear when we talk about kids.

Here's how it played out.

All GIFs via UPtv.

After kids were asked what gift they really wanted for the holidays, they were asked what their parents might want.

Next, the filmmakers brought both sets of gifts to the kids — the items from their wish list and the item the kids thought their parents might like.

And then the filmmakers told the kids there was a catch. They had to choose just one gift: the one for them or the one for their parent.

Every. single. child. chose the gift for their parent.

When asked why they made the choice they did, the kids' reasons were simple, heartfelt, and reflective of their kindness.

In the end, the kids were given both the gift for them and the gift for their parents (which ... thank goodness, because any other outcome would have left me breaking stuff on my desk).

But they didn't know that when they made their decisions, and they still chose to give to someone else. Their parents were touched by their kindness — but I'll bet they weren't surprised.

We shouldn't be surprised either. For the most part, kids are born good people. Michael Tomasello, a psychologist and co-director of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany, said in a 2008 lecture that kids are helpful and cooperative — traits that come naturally.

"They have an almost reflexive desire to help, inform, and share. And they do so without expectation or desire for reward," Tomasello said, according to a Stanford University news article. As they get older, Tomasello said, they become aware of their surroundings, how others perceive them, and how their actions are received.

It makes sense that when kids are nurtured to be empathetic people, that natural predisposition will grow.

So the next time you hear someone comment on "kids these days," you can remind them that kids these days are pretty damn great.

And despite the many challenges and obstacles that so many face, our youngest generation is full of loving, thoughtful human beings.

Visit Sweden

Popular

Sweden makes stunning decision to trademark its name to avoid confusion

The country is taking historic steps to fix the problem.

via Visit Sweden (used with permission)

A Swedish woman taking things into her own hands.

True

Sweden has existed for over 1,000 years, but travelers across the globe are confused because other places, inspired by the country’s untouched beauty and joyously inclusive culture, have taken its name.

Seven other places in the world call themselves Sweden, so to distinguish itself from the name-alikes, the Kingdom of Sweden is taking a bold, historic step that no country has before. It’s become the first to apply to trademark its name with the European Union Intellectual Property Office.

Visit Sweden likens the country’s problem to a luxury brand that has to contend with dupes, knockoffs, or bootlegs that fall short of the glory of the genuine article.

“It’s flattering that other places want to be called Sweden, but let’s be honest, there should only be one. Our Sweden. The one with the Northern Lights, endless forests, and the world’s best flat-pack furniture,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

By trademarking its name, Sweden will make things much less confusing for travelers worldwide. It’d be a shame for someone looking to visit Sweden’s majestic Lapland to mistakenly wind up in a place with no reindeer, Aurora Borealis, or cloudberries to be found.

The world-class research team at Visit Sweden knew it had to act when it realized that other destinations with the same name had tripped up travelers. People looking to vacation in Portland, Oregon, have accidentally wound up in Portland, Maine. Travelers yearning to experience the fall in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been deplaning in Manchester, England. “It happens more than you think!” the researchers admitted.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation The Northern Lights in Sweden. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Jann Lipka/imagebank.sweden.se

The E.U. Intellectual Property Office must act swiftly and allow Sweden to trademark its name so that travelers worldwide don’t miss the opportunity to experience an utterly unique country known for its serene landscapes, commitment to deep relaxation and personal freedom.

No one should ever miss out on staying on one of Sweden’s 267,570 islands, more than any other country. The Swedish archipelagos offer luxurious glamping, peaceful hikes, tranquil solitude and awe-inspiring, pristine nature.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A woman camping in the Swedish archipelago.via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Anders Klapp/imagebank.sweden.se

Sweden is a beautiful place to visit all year round, with bright summers, colorful falls, vibrant springs and dark, crisp winters. It is also a place to delight your tastebuds with a cuisine centered on healthy, locally sourced produce, with some preparation methods dating back to the Viking era.

The original Sweden is a place where one can relish Old World European history while also enjoying the modern pleasures of the most progressive countries in the world. Travelers can be whisked back into history by visiting the Naval Port of Karlskona, a well-preserved European naval town from 1680. Or, enjoy cutting-edge design, delicacies, art, music and culture in hip metropolitan destinations such as Stockholm or Sweden’s “coolest city,” Gothenburg.

Did we mention Sweden has an ABBA museum? Wait till the other 7 Swedens find out about that.

As you can see, Sweden is an incredibly unique destination that cannot be duplicated. It would be a tragedy for anyone intending to visit the original Sweden to mistakenly find themselves in a name-alike place that lacks its Scandinavian charm. You can do your part to stop the confusion by signing a petition to let Sweden trademark Sweden at Visit Sweden (the original).

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A Swedish Midsommar celebration. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Stefan Berg/Folio/imagebank.sweden.se

From Your Site Articles

Family

Woman who was pressured to quit her job to raise stepdaughter's baby makes a bold decision

This sparked an important conversation about family responsibility.

via Pixabay

When parents can't step up, should grandparents step in?

A story that recently went viral on Reddit’s AITA forum asks an important question: What is a parent’s role in taking care of their grandchildren? The story is even further complicated because the woman at the center of the controversy is a stepparent.

At the time of writing her post, the woman, 38, met her husband Sam, 47, ten years ago, when his daughter, Leah, 25, was 15. The couple married five years ago after Leah had moved out to go to college.

Leah’s mom passed away when she was 10.

When Leah became pregnant she wanted to keep the baby, but her boyfriend didn’t. After the disagreement, the boyfriend broke up with her. This forced Leah to move back home because she couldn’t afford to be a single parent and live alone on a teacher’s salary.

Leah’s story is familiar to many young mothers facing similar difficulties.

The father isn’t involved in the baby’s life as a caretaker or financially. Sadly, research shows that 33% of all children in the U.S. are born without their biological fathers living in the home.

Single motherhood comes with unique hardships.

via Alexander Grey/Unsplash

The new mother is a teacher and can’t afford to live on her own with a child. In 2019, a study found that out the top 50 U.S. cities, Pittsburgh is the only one where a new teacher could afford rent.

Today, Portland, OR has joined the very short list of cities where an "average teacher can afford 91.3% of apartments within community distance of their school" according to a recent study.

The stressors of taking care of the baby made Leah realize she needed help.

“But once she had the baby around 4 months back, Leah seemed to realize having a baby is not the sunshine and rainbows she thought it was,” the woman wrote on Reddit. “She barely got any sleep during the last four months. All the while Sam was helping her with the baby while I did almost all chores myself.”

“Now her leave is ending. She did not want to leave the baby at daycare or with a nanny,” the woman continued. “Sam and I both work as well.”

Leah asked her stepmother if she would stay home with the baby. The stepmother said no because she never wanted to have a baby and she has a job. “I asked why Leah can't stay home with the baby herself,” the woman wrote. “She said how she was young and had to build a career. I said many people take breaks to raise kids, and she broke down crying about how she was so tired all the time being a mom and needed something else in her life too.”

The demands of new motherhood are usually all-encompassing.

via Pixabay

After the woman told her stepdaughter no, her husband pressured her to stay home with the baby. But she refused to give up her job to raise her stepdaughter’s child. “Leah said yesterday how she wished her mom was alive since she would have had her back. She said I didn't love her, and my husband is also mad at me,” the woman wrote. The woman asked the Reddit community if she was in the wrong for “refusing to help my stepdaughter with the baby,” and the community responded with rapturous support.

"[The woman] should tell her husband to knock it off and stop trying to pressure her into raising his daughter’s baby. If he wants a family member to look after her baby while she works, then he can do it," user Heavy_Sand5228 wrote.

"This is Leah's baby that she alone chose to have. That doesn't obligate you to change YOUR life to suit her desires. The whole business of saying you don't love her because you won't quit your job to watch her baby is manipulative and messed up, and I'm shocked your husband is siding with her," user SupremeCourtJust-a** added.

Leah and many women like her are in this situation because, in many places, teachers are underpaid, rent is high, and not all dads pay child support, even those required by law.

Another commenter noted that the baby is much more the father’s responsibility than the stepmother's. "To add, Leah should consider seeking child support from her ex. Her kid should be getting that money," Obiterdicta wrote.

While there are resources to help stepparents connect with their stepchildren and step-grandchildren, it's important to remember that the responsibility to raise a child ultimately rests with the parent(s).

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles

family

Family

Parents get a wave of support after their family has 'unhinged' reaction to new baby's name

Hope their family was taking notes.

Canva

Unsolicited opinions aren't just annoying. They can be hurtful.

Sure, parents sometimes make an…interesting choice when it comes to naming their child. But the key word there is "choice." It probably goes without saying that it’s not the best move to insert an opinion on something rather personal and vulnerable like a child's name, especially when that opinion is not requested.

But nonetheless, people do cross this boundary, expressing their disapproval and giving new moms and dads yet another reason to second-guess themselves.

As one frustrated mom shared on Reddit, her own in-laws gave what she described as the “most unhinged” reaction to her newborn’s name, leaving her and her husband completely “crushed.”

At first, everything went smoothly.

“I just had a baby this week,” the mom wrote in her post. “We were still in the hospital when we announced her name and got a slew of the usual responses that normal, sane people say when hearing about the name of a baby (‘what a lovely name!’). Because saying anything different is insane, right?”

But when her husband texted his side of the family to share their newborn daughter’s name, all hell broke loose.

Mind you, these parents didn’t name their child Watermelon Gumdrop or Fern Gully or something else truly out there. The name they chose, which caused them a lot of unnecessary grief, was Rosa.

Not only does Rosa (the Spanish word for “rose”) sound lovely, it carries all poetic meaning symbolized by the flower: hope, love, and courage. What’s not to like?

Rosa is a baby girl name of Mexican origin.

Canva

But instead of celebrating their name choice, the mother-in-law apparently responded with, ““No, I don’t really like that name. I much prefer Violet.”

“We were stunned,” the woman continued. “I simply cannot imagine being a family member who’s being INFORMED of a newborn’s name, and thinking you should have input…We LOVE our daughter’s name, and did not want to have our first moments with our daughter marred by this comment.”

But wait, it gets worse.

The husband's family then called several times after their texts were ignored. The following day, the husband’s sister also sent a barrage of texts with “alternatives [that] she prefers.”

Then, when told that the entire family on the mom’s side supported the name, the mother-in-law laughed and said, “They must not have good taste—nobody here likes it. Nobody.”

Now, this next part really shows the effect this appalling behavior had on the new parents:

“We are sleep deprived. Coming down from an emotional high, during which our daughter was in NICU and I almost needed a blood transfusion because of how much blood I lost. My husband, so stoic and assured, is f**king crushed. I’m FUMING. I will NEVER forget how they made my husband feel during one of the most vulnerable and special times in his life,” the mom wrote.

Most Unhinged Reaction To Naming Your Child?
byu/UWhatMate innamenerds

People who read this woman’s story were “livid” on her behalf, and rallied to give her some long overdue support.

“What on earth is wrong with Rosa???? It’s a beautiful name!! Tell your mother-in-law she is ridiculous and she can shut up immediately, if not sooner,” one person commented.

Another pointed to how truly ridiculous this situation was, writing, “The name is ROSA? I thought from reading this that it was at least going to be a controversial name. Rosa is beautiful. Even if it’s not your cup of tea, it’s hard to find anything wrong with it. OP should take this as the sign it is and reevaluate their individual relationships with that side of the family.”

Several even suggested going into little-to-no-contact mode with that side of the family, since odds are they wouldn’t prove any more helpful in the stressful postpartum days to come.

“Tell her she doesn’t need to meet baby if she is so insistent on the name being changed,” one person commented.

Sadly, sometimes stronger boundaries must be established with those who will not respect more lenient ones, especially when it comes to family members—and especially when it comes to parents trying to raise their kids in the most healthy environment possible. Hopefully these parents were able to move forward and enjoy welcoming little Rosa into the world.

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles

The problem with this gift-giving video — and why I'm sharing it anyway.

Kids these days...

UPtv (no relation to Upworthy) asked several kids about the one thing they really wanted for Christmas.

Here's how it played out.

After kids were asked what gift they really wanted for the holidays, they were asked what their parents might want.

Next, the filmmakers brought both sets of gifts to the kids — the items from their wish list and the item the kids thought their parents might like.

And then the filmmakers told the kids there was a catch. They had to choose just one gift: the one for them or the one for their parent.

Every. single. child. chose the gift for their parent.

So the next time you hear someone comment on "kids these days," you can remind them that kids these days are pretty damn great.

The country is taking historic steps to fix the problem.

This sparked an important conversation about family responsibility.

Leah’s story is familiar to many young mothers facing similar difficulties.

Hope their family was taking notes.

But wait, it gets worse.

They're funny because they're true.

Gordon shared 15 of his oh-so-real comics with us. They're all funny 'cause they're true.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

I love Gordon's comics so much because they're just about the reality of parenting — and they capture it perfectly.

There's a huge difference between the two.

What’s the difference between being a dad and being a father?

"You make sure she doesn't go home empty handed."