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Woman's post about being groped while swimming laps prompts others to share their stories

Woman's post about being groped while swimming laps prompts others to share their stories

Ask any group of women if they've ever been touched inappropriately by a stranger, and most will have a story to tell. While there is some gray area when it comes to occasional bumps or grazes in public, there are some situations that are so blatantly gropey, there can be no question as to what's happening.

Some men (and yes, some women) simply cannot seem to keep their hands to themselves, and some will go out of their way to get their creepy fingers on someone else's body. Gross, but true.

A thread on Reddit highlighted this fact when a woman who goes by the handle "thestashattacked" described what happened to her when she was swimming laps at the pool.


"So I'm lap swimming, and we have 7 swim lanes. 7. That is a ridiculous number of lanes. And, as per usual at this time in the morning, they're all occupied. Now, usually, you share lanes under these circumstances. Not a problem.

Except this time I'm somehow the only woman swimming, in the crappy shallow lane.

Man comes in, and wants to swim. That's fine. He has to share a lane (which is risky due to COVID anyway), but he won't share with any of the men in the good lanes.

No, he absolutely has to share with the only woman in the pool. And of course, every time we pass he has to graze his hand across my ass.

Eventually, I told him if he couldn't keep his hands to himself, I'd either start hitting, or he could move to another lane. I was here first, and the only reason he came into this lane is that there's a woman here. Seriously, this is the worst lane.

(Yes, the lifeguard told him to get out after I yelled at him. Apparently he's way more obvious about the groping when you can see it from outside the water.)"

Choosing the crappiest lane because it's the only one with a woman in it is no accident. When you're swimming in the same lane as someone, it's natural that you may accidentally bump or graze them, but groping someone's butt every time you pass is also no accident. It's sexual assault. It doesn't matter how quick it was, whether he "grabbed" or "grazed," or whether it was one second or three. Repeatedly putting your hands on a woman's behind as she swims by is sexual assault. Full stop.

This woman's story inspired others to share their own experiences with similar Gropy McGropertons, and they're all just as infuriating.

Cyssane wrote:

"I had this shit happen to me when I was just 14 years old. I was hanging around at a local mall by myself (I'd done this plenty of times before without incident). I was looking at clothing on a rack and some older guy walked past me and grazed my ass.

I'm a young kid, so I thought it was accidental at first, but every time I went somewhere else this creep would follow me around the mall. It was about equal parts infuriating and scary.

Finally I found a group of girls around my age and quickly explained what was happening. They were so great -- they immediately grasped the situation and formed a wall around me for the rest of the day. They'd ask where I wanted to go next and then we all went there in a group. Several of them pulled out small items that could be used as weapons in case the creep tried to get too close to us -- keys held between the fingers, metal nail files, things like that. Creepy guy didn't dare to approach after that, and he finally left us alone.

I'll always be grateful to those girls. They were amazing."

Creepy stalker dudes are familiar to most women at some point in their lives. Good for that group of girls for sticking together and protecting her. But seriously, that should not have to happen.

The_Thugmuffin wrote:

"When I was about eleven/twelve I was at a swimming pool party in a indoor place you could rent out. Bunch of kids there and we were all having fun. Myself and my cousin went to the super deep end to play that game where you toss items to the bottom and pick them up.

Anyways, this older dude decided he wanted to play with us and my cousin and I thought that was cool that an adult wanted to play a game.

We dive once, old dude rubs up on top of me at the bottom. His crotch was aggressively shoved against my butt, his full weight pushed me to the bottom of the pool. I think that's weird, but that he was just really into the game and was trying to grab the ring. We dive a second time. Same thing. Third and fourth time this dude keeps rubbing on me. Full body rub too, he got better about it as we dove more.

Finally I decide to test it to see if he is just into the game or if he is actually molesting me. So when we count down for the dive I wait and give my cousin a head start then dive again. Dude waited and rubbed on me again. I finally just had enough and got out of the pool and refused to play again. Stopped swimming the whole day and never went back to that place again.

Place was FULL of parents and other adults and lifeguards. Not a single person noticed this guy feeling me up because it was the pool. Because I was young and didn't know better I didn't tell anyone.

I wish I had screamed at that guy and called the cops. Good on you.

Edit: I was in fifth grade"

Fifth grade. That's around age 10. Disgusting.

dkettlecorn added:

"Yup it's weird. When I was on my club team one boy grazed my crotch during backstroke not one or two but THREE TIMES and when I called him out for it the guys just shrugged it off giving some bs excuse. Got fully credit carded once and another time a boy actually somehow stuck his hand in my suit (touched my belly) from the next lane. Like touching someone's feet is an accident, flip turning and head butting someone is an accident, but I've never groped anyone especially by "accident" during a practice."

Three crotch grazes? No. Not an accident.

kendall_black, another swimmer, shared her story:

"OH MY GOD.

THIS SO MUCH.

I" was a competitive swimmer throughout school, and this was always so bad. Well, ok it was worst on my high school swim team, not so much on my year-round team. But anyways, fuck those guys, and fuck that guy. I had this one guy on my high school team who was the worst perpetrator. He would be standing at the wall while everyone else was swimming and when I'd do my flip-turn, he'd always touch me somehow trying to grope me. I finally yelled loud enough for the ENTIRE POOL to hear, 'If you touch me again, or if you are still standing on the wall in the way of everyone swimming, I WILL flip-turn ON TOP OF YOU and kick you as hard as I can.' The next swimmeet, that same guy stuck his hand INSIDE MY SWIMSUIT FROM THE BACK AND CARESSED MY STOMACH. WHILE I WAS TALKING TO MY PARENTS ON THE BALCONY."

What the heck. What did this guy go on to do after high school?

"Keep your hands to yourself" is basic kindergarten etiquette that anyone should be able to follow. We should not have to have awareness campaigns to keep women's bodies from being fondled without their permission. Yes, men's bodies too. It's not that hard to not be a creep, regardless of your sex or gender.

Hands. To. Yourself. Everyone.

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Three women, three MS journeys: How multiple sclerosis looks different for everyone

Gina, Nathalie and Helga share their reactions to being diagnosed with MS and how they stay informed and positive in the face of ever-changing symptoms.

Courtesy of Sanofi

Helga, Nathalie and Gina all have MS, and their experiences show how differently the disease can manifest.

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It’s been 155 years since neurologist Jean-Martin Charcot gave the first lecture on a mysterious progressive illness he called “multiple sclerosis.” Since then, we’ve learned a lot. We know MS causes the immune system to attack healthy tissue, including damaging the brain and spinal cord. Resulting symptoms can be debilitating and include fatigue, blurred vision, memory problems and weakness. Huge advancements in our understanding of MS and its underlying causes, as well as treatment advances, have been made in the past few decades, but MS remains a complex and unpredictable reality for the 2.8 million+ people diagnosed around the world.

Ironically, the only real constant for people living with MS is change. There’s no set pattern or standard progression of the disease, so each person’s experience is unique. Some people with MS have mild symptoms that worsen slowly but sometimes improve, while others can have severe symptoms that drastically alter their daily lives.

All people with MS share some things in common, however, such as the need to stay informed on the ever-evolving research, find various lines of support and try to remain hopeful as they continue living with the disease.

To better understand what navigating life with MS really looks like, three women shared their MS stories with us. Their journeys demonstrate how MS can look different for different people and interestingly, how the language used to talk about the disease can greatly impact how people understand their realities.

woman with horse, woman riding horseGina loves riding her horse, Benita.Courtesy of Sanofi

Gina—Hamburg, Germany (diagnosed with relapsing multiple sclerosis in 2017)

When her youngest son was 4 months old, Gina started having problems with her eye. She’d soon learn she was experiencing optic neuritis—her first symptom of MS.

“Immediately after the diagnosis, I looked up facts on MS because I didn’t know anything about it,” Gina says. “And as soon as I knew what could really happen with this disease, I actually got scared.”

As her family’s primary income provider, she worried about how MS would impact her ability to work as a writer and editor. Her family was afraid she was going to end up in a wheelchair. However, for now, Gina’s MS is managed well enough that she still works full-time and is able to be active.

“When I tell somebody that I have MS, they often don't believe me the first time because I don't fulfill any stereotypes,” she says.

Overwhelmed by negative perspectives on living with MS, Gina sought support in the online MS community, which she found to be much more positive.

“I think it’s important to use as many positive words as you can when talking about MS.” It’s important to be realistic while also conveying hope, she says. “MS is an insidious disease that can cause many bad symptoms…that can be frightening, and you can't gloss over it, either.”

To give back to the online community that helped her so much, Gina started a blog to share her story and help others trying to learn about their diagnosis.

Though she deals with fatigue and cognitive dysfunction sometimes, Gina stays active swimming, biking, riding horses and playing with her sons, who are now 11 and 6.

Cognitive dysfunction is common in MS, with over half of people affected. It can impact memory, attention, planning, and word-finding. As with many aspects of MS, some people experience mild changes, while others face more challenges.

Gina says that while there’s still a lot of education about MS needed, she feels positive about the future of MS because there’s so much research being done.

woman in wheelchair holding medal, woman rowingNathalie is an award-winning rower with multiple international titles.Courtesy of Sanofi

Nathalie — Pennes Mirabeau, France (diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis in 2002)

Nathalie was a teenager and a competitive athlete when she noticed her first symptoms of MS, but it would take four years of “limbo” before she was diagnosed.

“Ultimately, the diagnosis was more of a relief, than a shock,” she says. “Because when you have signs and you don’t know why, it’s worse than knowing, in the end, what you have.”

However, learning more about the disease—and the realities of disease progression—scared her.

“That glimpse of the future was direct and traumatic,” she says. Her neurologist explained that the disease evolves differently for everyone, and her situation might end up being serious or very mild. So, she decided to stop comparing herself to others with MS.

She said to herself, “We’ll see what happens, and you’ll manage it bit by bit.”

By 2005, Nathalie’s MS had progressed to the point of needing a wheelchair. However, that has not dampened her competitive spirit.

Nathalie began her international rowing career in 2009 and has won multiple world titles, including two Paralympic medals—silver in London and bronze in Tokyo. Now, at 42, she still trains 11 times a week. Fatigue can be a problem, and sometimes hard workouts leave her with muscle stiffness and shaking, but she credits her ongoing sports career for helping her feel in tune with her body’s signals.

“Over the years, I’ve learned to listen to my body, letting my body guide when I need to stop and take breaks,” she says.

Nathalie explains that she used to only look backwards because of the initial shock of her diagnosis. In time, she stopped thinking about what she couldn’t do anymore and focused on her future. She now lives in the following mindset: “Even when doors close, don’t miss out on those that open.” Instead of focusing on what she can’t do, she focuses on the opportunities she still has. Right now, this includes her training for the 2024 Paralympic Games in Paris, where she will compete for another rowing medal.

“I only go forward,” she says. “Well, I try, anyway…It’s easy to say, it’s not always easy to do. But that’s what I try to do.”

woman exiting water after swimming, woman with great daneHelga's Great Dane has become a helpful and beloved companion.Courtesy of Sanofi

Helga—Johannesburg, South Africa (diagnosed with relapsing multiple sclerosis in 2010)

When Helga first started having balance issues and numbness in her feet, she chalked it up to her training as a runner. But when the numbness moved to her face, she knew something was wrong. She never guessed it was MS.

“When I was diagnosed, I felt completely overwhelmed and clueless,” Helga says. “I felt that I had nowhere near enough information. I did not know anything about the disease…I had no idea that it was going to be a process of continually monitoring and adjusting your lifestyle.”

In the beginning, Helga’s symptoms developed slowly, and she didn’t appear ill to others. She was even able to run for a few years after her diagnosis, but she couldn’t do marathons anymore, and she began to fall frequently due to balance issues and right-foot dragging. Then her cognition issues became more problematic, especially in her job as a trainer in a printing company.

“My executive function, decision-making and short-term memory were affected to the point that I was eventually medically unfit for work,” she says. She stopped working in 2017.

However, she didn’t stop living life. Even though she could no longer run, she continued to swim competitively. She got a Great Dane puppy and trained him as a service dog to help her walk. She also serves as vice chair of the patient support organization Multiple Sclerosis South Africa, and she advises others who have been diagnosed to join a patient advocacy group as soon as possible to get reliable information and meet others with MS.

Helga says she is “hopeful” about the future of MS. “I must say that I am so grateful that we have all the new medications available, because my life would not be the same if it wasn't for that,” she adds.

Part of how she manages her MS is by looking at the positives.

“If I could tell the world one thing about MS, it would be that MS is an incurable disease of the nervous system, but it's also the greatest teacher of valuing your health, family, friends, and managing change in your life,” she says. “My life is diversified in a way that I never, ever thought it would, and MS has been honestly the greatest teacher.”

Each MS journey is unique – with each person impacted experiencing different struggles, successes, and feelings as they manage this unpredictable disease. But the common thread is clear – there is a critical need for information, support, and hope. We are proud to participate in World MS Day and share these incredible stories of living life while living with MS. To learn more about MS, go to https://www.sanofi.com/why-words-really-matter-when-it-comes-to-multiple-sclerosis.

MAT-GLB-2301642-v1.0-05/2023

This article was sponsored by Sanofi. Participants were compensated when applicable.

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