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Women over 60 share the unexpected things about aging no one told them about

From confidence to friendships to body changes, they spilled it all.

women over 60, women aging, aging, aging tips, aging advice

Photo credit: Canva

Women over 60 discuss the surprising things about aging.

Getting older is a privilege. From the moment we're born, the inevitable journey with aging begins, and with it comes many ups, downs, and unexpected twists. According to a recent study in the journal Cell, aging begins to accelerate at 50.

To support one another through the aging changes, women over 60 on Reddit opened up about the surprising things they discovered about aging that no one told them to expect. These women unloaded wisdom on everything from finances to health to outlook shift to help younger women.

These are 16 things women over 60 want younger women to know about aging.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"A very accomplished artist who was in her 70's advised me to develop a skill or skills I could depend on instead of my looks and youth. It's good advice for everyone, I think." - Melodic-Beach-5411

"It’s better to be young and broke, than old and broke. Save your money!" - Pure-Guard-3633

"Strengthen your glutes and lower abs so you don’t have back problems in 20 years. And don’t stop squatting and sitting low or on the floor. Be able to do so and stand up from those positions. It’s really important, especially as we age." - freetree6655, Lame-username62

"Don't waste your time, energy, and psychic energy lamenting the things you don't like about your body. Enjoy yourself and your body NOW cause this is a one way trip. I look at pictures of myself at 20 (I'm 78 now) and remember how inadequate and downright ugly I thought myself. Fool. It was all a waste of time and joy. And now, at 78, I try to appreciate my body for the things it still does and the way it still looks." - Wroena

"Sun does damage your skin. Bad habits always catch up with you. Your children will make bad choices no matter what you think. The man you marry will not change and his good traits and bad traits will get stronger with age. Sex can still be fun. You will miss your mother and father for a long time." - No-Stress-5285

"My bladder surprised me." - joojoogirl

@gingerandcarman
Replying to @janis We’re not here to turn back time, we’re here to own it. Ageing has never felt more powerful ✨#ageingwithjoy #womenover60

"Menopause symptoms are real, and unless you’re lucky and your mother discusses it with you, nobody will. Do not suffer in silence. Talk to your friends, talk to your doctor. Treat your symptoms and you will be a much much happier person. The guy that you think you can change, you can’t. And while we’re on the topic of guys, or girls, for that matter, anyone who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated is not worthy of your time. Do not waste your valuable time on them. Save money the moment you get paid. Set aside a specific amount every month. Pay your bills, allocate money for fun stuff, but never touch that savings. Take care of your health, your physical, your mental, and your emotional health. Take good care of your body because you will need it for the rest of your life. Regular exercise will be your friend forever. Challenging your brain will keep you young. And being good to yourself reminds you of your worth, that you are loved, and it will be what you will attract." - Cupcake2974

"I stopped caring about how other people perceived me." - Walker5000

"Hitting 60 isn’t as bad as you make it out to be. Being on the downside of 60 isn’t as bad as you make it out to be. These are very liberating times for a woman. She has more options available for her today than any woman of our age has ever had in the history of this planet. These are all here and ready for us to embrace. Ladies of all ages … we aren’t getting older. We are getting better. For us, the best is yet to come." - Moist-Doughnut-5160

"It’s genuinely fine to lose interest in sex/being sexy." - sonawtdown

"You must be your own health advocate now...do not trust doctors to look out for you. Most are shockingly ignorant and outdated when it comes to proactive care for women in their younger years that could have prevented many serious problems as women enter late middle age/senior years. Doctors have screwed over generations of women and shortened both quality of life and lifespan by failing to consider (and in some cases actively DISCOURAGING) bone density, gastro, nutritional, and hormonal health. The silence is deafening and many of us are paying the price now." - flagal31

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"As you grow older, you get to know yourself and your most deeply held principles better. (I, for example, have learned how deeply I oppose injustice and abuse of authority.) There’s deep satisfaction in knowing oneself and directing your life’s energies toward what’s important." - Iterata2

"In your 60’s you will lose your hair. And not just on your head. Add moisturize the heck out of your neck. Your hair and face can lie about your age, but your neck tells the truth." - Sledgehammer925

"Don't neglect your teeth. They are very difficult to replace. Even if you can afford it. The daily discomfort I have in my mouth has reduced my quality of life, even though I have had expensive dental work done. Nothing will ever match your real teeth. And with all the emphasis on teeth, people are often unaware that caring for the gums is equally important. I found it challenging when I was young to floss daily and do all the recommended things. Now (that it's too late) I spend at least 7 minutes every evening with interdental brushes, floss, special toothpaste, careful brushing and gum care. Why I didn't have 7 minutes a day to spend with my teeth when I was younger I'll never know." - bijig

"You are never too old to start something new." - Intelligent-Dot-29

"That when you reach this milestone, it's very freeing. You don't care what others think of you. You don't feel the pressure to keep up on the latest trends because you know who you are. And that's just fine with you. You know who you are. It's freeing." - GGGGroovyDays60s

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Pets support us, let's support them.

In honor of Pet Wellness Month, here are three small ways to fuel your furry friends.

Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them

Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them.

Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them.

True

There are few things that boost our mental health more than owning a pet. Whether it’s a dog or a cat, pets offer unconditional love, the ability to lower stress, and the opportunity to build a community with other pet lovers. Pets support our mental health in dozens of ways, every single day. But how do we care for them in return?

In partnership with Nulo, we’re celebrating Pet Wellness Month this October by highlighting the small, meaningful ways pet parents fuel their fur babies’ happiness and health. We asked readers: “What’s one small thing you do that makes a big difference for your pet?” The best answers win a custom pet portrait, a wellness care package courtesy of Nulo, and a donation to their local pet shelter.

Of all the hilarious and heartfelt answers we got, three of them stood out. Here are the winning responses and three examples of how you, too, can make a huge difference for your pet in small, simple ways.

Keeping their bodies strong

Meet Tee: He’s a loyal, playful ball of energy that helps his owner, Jailon, by bringing joy and calm to his life every day. To show Tee love, Jailon prioritizes physical health and emotional wellness. For exercise, Jailon makes sure Tee has daily walks, playtime, and making sure his diet is balanced with high-quality, nutritious food (Nulo being one of his favorites).

But emotional wellness is equally important. “One small thing I do that makes a big difference for my pet is setting aside dedicated connection time every day,” Jailon says. “No phones, no distractions, just us. The time helps us bond and keeps Tee’s mind active and healthy.”

Communication is key

Mary Ann’s dog Aiden was rescued from her local Humane Society, and as a former stray, the beginning of their relationship wasn’t always easy.

“Aiden was so scared that he would sleep in a corner or under a bed. My husband and I had to sleep with him on the floor until we gained his trust,” Mary Ann said. To soothe his separation anxiety, Mary Ann started talking to him regularly.

“I started telling him, ‘mommy is going to work,’ or ‘mommy will be back’ and he started to understand,” she said.

Amazingly, Aiden responded. Now, his anxiety has improved and their bond is stronger than ever. Aiden still relishes the gentle words of affirmation that Mary Ann continues to give him.

“His face is so expressive and his smile melts our hearts,” she said. “We get him to fall asleep by repeatedly telling him, ‘I love you, Aiden.’”

Building them a place to call home

Our feline friends need love, too. That’s why Amber created a cozy habitat for her longhair tuxedo cat, Precious, on the nights where she likes to roam. Adopted from a local shelter eight years ago, Precious is now 16—and not fond of staying indoors.

“In her old age, Precious has become very anxious being inside,” Amber said. Even in the cold winter months, Precious prefers staying outside on their back deck or exploring their 10-acre property. “She usually refuses to come inside, even on cold nights,” Amber said.

After many failed attempts to get her inside for the evening, Amber and her family realized it would be unfair to keep her confined when she wasn’t comfortable. As a compromise, Amber’s handy husband built a safe haven for her outside.

“She couldn't just have a tiny little box. Our girl was too good for that,” Amber said. “Now we can rest easy at night knowing she is safe, warm, and secure in her own private bungalow.”

Showing love for your pets—especially in the form of regular exercise, safe surroundings and good nutrition—is the best way to keep them happy and healthy for as long as possible. And when we help our pets live longer, we’re nurturing the connection that makes our lives richer, too.

Good nutrition is the cornerstone of a happy pet. Fuel your pet and help them reach their individual incredible with help from Nulo.

15 hard truths that people swear made their lives so much better

You might be the bad guy in someone else's story.

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks

via Liza Summer/Pexels

A woman learns a harsh truth about her friends.

A significant part of adulthood is realizing that many uncomfortable truths are indeed real, even if we wish they weren’t. At first, these harsh truths may dampen our spirits and make us feel that the world is a bit colder. However, understanding some of life's hard lessons opens us up to greater possibilities and can help us overcome the obstacles holding us back.

Harsh truths help us realize when relationships aren’t as great as they can be. They also prevent us from having too much faith in people and institutions that will ultimately disappoint us. Knowing dark truths can also help us appreciate the things that are truly beautiful, honest, and good. A Redditor named Rare_Can_5418 asked the AskReddit forum, “What difficult truths, the sooner you accept them, the better your life will be?” and received over 6,500 responses. Many of them were centered around harsh truths about relationships and the fact that even if we do our best in life, we can still end up with the short end of the stick.

The key is to keep going and never let failure get you down.

Here are 15 of the “difficult truths” that made people’s lives a lot better.

1. Stop comparing yourself

"There will always be someone better looking, better educated, younger, more experienced, more intelligent or wealthier than you. Do your best, live without regret, have empathy and kindness, give when you can, expecting nothing in return. Focus on your heart value more than what others have."

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

Research shows we have a tendency to compare ourselves to highly visible and highly skilled people, which makes us feel worse. We wonder why we can't cook as well as our foodie friend or why we're not as organized and put-together as our Type A neighbor. No wonder comparisons make us feel like crap!

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks Comparison is the thief of joy. Giphy

2. Some people won't like you

"You can be sweetest, juiciest peach on the tree. But some people don't like peaches."

"In Spanish, there's a saying: 'Nadie es moneda de oro para que lo quiera todo el mundo,' which translates to something like nobody is a gold coin to be liked/wanted by everyone else."

Worrying too much about making everyone like you is a quick path to becoming a people pleaser, an impossible task that takes a serious toll on your mental health.

3. Things are just things

"They don’t have feelings. They don’t care if you give them away or sell them or throw them out. If a thing is useful, keep it. If not, get rid of it."

Psychologists refer to perceiving that inanimate objects have feelings as anthropomorphizing. Psych Central says that humans project feelings onto objects to relate to them more deeply. "People generally anthropomorphize to make sense of events and behaviors they experience. Further, attributing emotions, attitudes, mental states, faces, and values to non-human things can help you feel connected to something," Sarah Barkley writes in a PhD-reviewed article.

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks Things don't care if you throw them away. Giphy

4. Not all friendships last

"Surprisingly though, the ones that last are not necessarily the best (or even good) ones."

"Most friendships are based on convenience, I've found. Unless two people are willing to put in a lot of effort, time and distance will do more to end a friendship than any disagreement."

It's natural and OK to outgrow friendships. If you've put in a solid effort and it's not working the way it used to, being comfortable with letting the relationship go will do wonders for your guilt and stress levels.

5. You may be the bad guy

"You can do your best with someone and still be the villain in their story."

"One of my current favourite memes is: I don't care if I'm the villain in your story, you're the clown in mine."

The truth is we're all just people doing our best, even the people who have wronged you.

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks You might be the villain in someone's story. Giphy

6. You can't change people

"You can only help people who actually want it. If they’re not ready to change or put in the effort, there’s not much you can do. Realizing this can save you a lot of frustration and help you focus on people who actually appreciate your help."

"It’s always tough having those friends who are constantly complaining but doing nothing to address what they are complaining about. But as an adult, you just have to sit there and listen. No point in offering help to someone who isn’t asking for it. Kinda like how it’s really tough to teach someone who isn’t interested in being taught."

Expecting others to change is bound to lead to disappointment. There's a saying that goes, "When people show you who they are, believe them." Hoping and wishing and working to make them somewhere else, more often than not, gets you nowhere.

7. How we judge ourselves and others

"We judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge others by their actions."

"In psychology, this is called fundamental attribution error."

The Fundamental Attribution Error is a psychological phenomenon where we assume someone's actions reflect their personality without considering the situation. It's like when we blame someone's driving skills for being in an accident instead of the curvy road.

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks We judge others differently than how we judge ourselves. Giphy

8. Depending on people

"Once you're an adult, there really isn't anyone you can 100% depend on except yourself. There will still be people in your life to lean on, but everyone has their limits in how they can help you."

Perhaps one of the harshest truths of all, but once you accept it, the path forward becomes extremely clear. It's up to you to make everything happen, and there's really no one else to blame if you don't.

9. Nice doesn't equal good

"Nice people aren't always good people."

"One of my bosses doesn't greet/make small talk and is known for being quite firm. He's been the most helpful throughout my most difficult period dealing with tragedy. Some people with that personality type simply get things done when you need them done without the chattering."

Niceness can even be toxic when it's not coming from a place of genuine authenticity. Sometimes hard conversations and conflict are necessary, and avoiding them is not healthy.

10. Everything is temporary

"You can suddenly lose anything and anyone at any time...and maybe all at once or in quick succession without so much warning."

11. Nobody is thinking about you

"In general, people in the real world are oblivious to you. You're not even a blip on their radar. If you're insecure about something you wear or how you look, remember: nobody cares."

Worried about something small like how the sleeves on your shirt fit you? It's OK if you care, but no one else will. People are far too consumed with their own lives and problems to remember the minutiae of some stranger they saw in passing. Accepting this is incredibly freeing!

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks Nobody is paying attention to you (and that's a good thing). Giphy

12. No one is coming to save you

"No one is coming to save you, so you have to do it all yourself."

"And once you internalize this and do it, your self-esteem will be through the roof."

13. Nobody knows what they're doing

"Before i graduated high school I thought, thank god, I finally won’t have to deal with annoying obnoxious kids and I’ll be treated like an adult, I come to find out 95% of adults are worse then the actual kids, nobody knows what they’re actually doing and life is actually a big joke."

This realization could help cure your Imposter Syndrome. Most people are just making it up as they go along and so you shouldn't feel ashamed of doing the same.

14. Love is reciprocal

"If a romantic interest is not giving you the same attention/respect you give them, they don't really care about or want you, and you're in for a world of hurt if you keep telling yourself otherwise."

harsh truths, hard truths, life lessons, reality, adult life, adulting, psychology, imposter syndrome, askreddit, life hacks We accept the love we think we deserve. Giphy

15. Who's good for you?

"People who are good for you will make you feel happy, joyful, accepted, cared for, and filled with fun times, despite any differences. People who are not good for you will make you feel anxious, sad, down, slighted, judged, and never check in on you if you're not okay, and won't even bother noticing when you're not okay. Genuine people will never let you suffer in silence or watch you suffer. Stay away from those who make you feel negative emotions and thoughts."

These are called harsh or hard truths for a reason. It's human nature to feel self-conscious, feel like an imposter, try to change people, or worry if other people like us. But the more of these you can free yourself from, the better you'll feel.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Thousands of women are still sharing the image of Jamie Lee Curtis and Michelle Yeoh with a powerful message

'De-condition and unlearn what you’ve been wired to think: that women are your competition.'

Jamie Lee Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, women supporting women, hype woman, competition, Golden Globes, Erin Gallagher, LinkedIn, viral, inspirational

Gage Skidmore/Creative Commons, Georges Biard/Wikimedia Commons

Jamie Lee Curtis celebrating Michelle Yeoh's Golden Globes win was an empowering moment for all women.

The 2023 Golden Globe Awards was an incredible night for Michelle Yeoh. The 60-year-old actress had waited 40 years to play the lead in a Hollywood film, and winning the Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Comedy for her starring role in "Everything Everywhere All at Once" was a dream come true. Yeoh's moment in the spotlight made headlines that night as her award speech went viral. But following the ceremony, another moment went viral—the split second Yeoh's name was called as the winner and the reaction of her co-star, Jamie Lee Curtis.

Curtis herself had been nominated for the Best Supporting Actress award for her role in the film but didn't win. (That award went to Angela Bassett in "Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.") But whatever disappointment Curtis may have felt about not winning her own award did not diminish her response to Yeoh's win, which was immediate, intense and immensely joyful.

A screenshot of Curtis' triumphant celebration of Yeoh's win was shared on LinkedIn by Erin Gallagher, CEO and founder of gender equity company Ella, along with a powerful message that's resonating with women everywhere.

Screenshot of Jamie Lee Curtis and Michelle Yeoh at the 2023 Golden Globes Erin Gallagher via LinkedIn

Gallagher wrote:

"Ladies, this is your vibe for 2023: unabashed hype woman.

Full on. Full out. Full force.

This photo was taken last night at the Golden Globes when Michelle Yeoh won Best Actress for her role in 'Everything Everywhere All at Once.'

Look at Jamie Lee Curtis.

Look. At. Her."

Jamie Lee Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, women supporting women, hype woman, competition, Golden Globes, Erin Gallagher, LinkedIn, viral, inspirational Jamie Lee Curtis at the 41st Emmy Awards in 2006Alan Light (alan.light) via Wikimedia Commons

Gallagher continued:

"You can feel her energy, her fire, her power.

Her excitement, joy and passion for Michelle is palpable. The photo moves. It vibrates.

If you saw this photo without context, you may think that it was actually *Jamie* who won.

Ladies, this is your vibe for 2023.

Hype. Other. Women.

When she wins, fight the urge to question…

…who does she think she is?
…why is she getting attention?
…did she really deserve it?
…is she really that good?
...what about me?

Guess what? The world has sold you a lie.

Her success doesn’t detract from yours.
Her wins don’t create your losses.
Her joy can’t steal the joy that’s meant for you.

De-condition and unlearn what you’ve been wired to think: that women are your competition.

It's a trap. Meant to distract us. And to keep us keeping each other down.

Find your Jamie.
Hype their Jamie.
Be her Jamie."

The message hit home, and hard. Reposts on Facebook have circulated thousands of times as women share the message with an enthusiastic, "Yes, this!"

Jamie Lee Curtis, Michelle Yeoh, women supporting women, hype woman, competition, Golden Globes, Erin Gallagher, LinkedIn, viral, inspirational Gif of Jamie Lee Curtis clapping via Giphy

The sense of competition between women is often unspoken and not overtly encouraged, yet it exists. Research indicates that women have had complex relationships with one another, marked by both competition and cooperation, throughout human history. Throw in the uphill battle for social and political power in the modern era and it's perhaps unsurprising that women can sometimes see other women's success as threatening to their own.

That isn't really how it works, though. It's not like there's a finite amount of female good fortune to go around. Success is not pie. As Gallagher points out, another woman's success does not detract from our own, and there's ample awesomeness out there for all of us.

Plenty of forces will try to pull women down and hold them back—do we really want to add to that? Be a force that lifts women up. Hype those you know who are crushing it. Celebrate their successes. Be their Jamie. There's nothing but winning in it for us all.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Popular

I showed my Gen Z kids 'Dead Poets Society' and their angry reactions to it floored me

"Inspiring" apparently means different things to Gen X and Gen Z.

Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society, gen x and gen z differences

Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers/YouTube

Robin Williams played inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."

As a Gen X parent of Gen Z teens and young adults, I'm used to cringing at things from 80s and 90s movies that haven't aged well. However, a beloved film from my youth that I thought they'd love, "Dead Poets Society," sparked some unexpectedly negative responses in my kids, shining a spotlight on generational differences I didn't even know existed.

I probably watched "Dead Poets Society" a dozen or more times as a teen and young adult, always finding it aesthetically beautiful, tragically sad, and profoundly inspiring. That film was one of the reasons I decided to become an English teacher, inspired as I was by Robin Williams' portrayal of the passionately unconventional English teacher, John Keating.

— (@)

The way Mr. Keating shared his love of beauty and poetry with a class of high school boys at a stuffy prep school, encouraging them to "seize the day" and "suck all the marrow out of life," hit me right in my idealistic youthful heart. And when those boys stood up on their desks for him at the end of the film, defying the headmaster who held their futures in his hands? What a moving moment of triumph and support.

My Gen Z kids, however, saw the ending differently. They did love the feel of the film, which I expected with its warm, cozy, comforting vibe (at least up until the last 20 minutes or so). They loved Mr. Keating, because how can you not? But when the movie ended, I was taken aback hearing "That was terrible!" and "Why would you traumatize me like that?" before they also admitted, "But it was so gooood!"

- YouTube youtu.be

The traumatize part I actually get—I'd forgotten just how incredibly heavy the film gets all of a sudden. (A caveat I feel the need to add here: Gen Z uses the word "traumatize" not in a clinical sense but as an exaggerative term for being hit unexpectedly by something sad or disturbing. They know they weren't literally traumatized by the movie.)

But in discussing it further, I discovered three main generational differences that impacted my kids' "Dead Poets Society" viewing experience and what they took away from it.

1) Gen Z sees inspiring change through a systemic lens, not an individual one

The first thing my 20-year-old said when the credits rolled was, "What? That's terrible! Nothing changed! He got fired and the school is still run by a bunch of stodgy old white men forcing everyone to conform!" My immediate response was, "Yeah, but he changed those boys' individual lives, didn't he? He helped broaden their minds and see the world differently."

o captain my captain, dead poets society Individual impact isn't as inspiring to Gen Z as it was to Gen X. Giphy

I realized that Gen X youth valued individuals going against the old, outdated system and doing their own thing, whereas Gen Z values the dismantling of the system itself. For Gen X, Mr. Keating and the boys taking a stand was inspiring, but the fact that it didn't actually change anything outside of their own individual experiences stuck like a needle in my Gen Z kids' craw.

2) Gen Z isn't accustomed to being blindsided by tragic storylines with no warning

To be fair, I did tell them there was "a sad part" before the movie started. But I'd forgotten how deeply devastating the last part of the movie was, so my daughter's "Why would you do that to me?!" was somewhat warranted. "I thought maybe a dog would die or something!" she said. No one really expected one of the main characters to die by suicide and the beloved teacher protagonist to be blamed for his death, but I'd somehow minimized the tragedy of it all in my memory so my "sad part" warning was a little insufficient.

— (@)

But also to be fair, Gen X youth never got any such warnings—we were just blindsided by tragic plot twists all the time. As kids, we cheered on Atreyu trying to save his horse from the swamp in "The Neverending Story" only to watch him drown. Adults showed us "Watership Down" thinking it would be a cute little animated film about bunnies. We were slapped in the face by the tragic child death in "My Girl," which was marketed as a sweet coming of age movie.

Gen Z was raised in the era of trigger warnings and trauma-informed practices, while Gen X kids watched a teacher die on live TV in our classrooms with zero follow-up on how we were processing it. Those differences became apparent real quick at the end of this movie.

The Never Ending Story Atreyu GIFfrom The Never Ending Story GIFs

3) Gen Z fixates on boundary-crossing behavior that Gen X either overlooked or saw as more nuanced

The other reaction I wasn't expecting was the utter disdain my girls showed for Knox Overstreet, the sweet-but-over-eager character who fell for the football player's cheerleader girlfriend. His boundary-crossing attempts to woo her were always cringe, but for Gen X, cringe behavior in the name of love was generally either overlooked, tolerated, or sometimes even celebrated. (Standing on a girl's lawn in the middle of the night holding a full-volume stereo over your head was peak romance for Gen X, remember.) For Gen Z, the only thing worse than cringe is predatory behavior, which Knox's obsessiveness and pushiness could arguably be seen as. My own young Gen X lens saw Knox and said, "That's a bit much, dude. Take it down a notch or three." My Gen Z daughters' lens said, "That guy's a total creepo. She needs to run far the other way."

run, red flag behavior Gen Z is much more black and white about behaviors than previous generations. Giphy Red Flag Run GIF by BuzzFeed

On one hand, I was proud of them for recognizing red flag behaviors and calling them out. On the other hand, I saw how little room there is for nuance in their perceptions, which was…interesting.

To be clear, I don't think my Gen Z kids' reactions to "Dead Poets Society" are wrong; they're just different than mine were at their age. We're usually on the same page when it comes to these kinds of analyses, so seeing them have a drastically different reaction to something I loved at their age was really something. Now I'm wondering what other favorite movies from my youth I should show them to see if they view those differently as well—hopefully without "traumatizing" them too much with the experience.

This article originally appeared in January.

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Her daughter said she doesn't want to be 'big' like her. She responded with perfect composure.

People are supporting her for her heartfelt honesty.

body image, parenting, TikTok, Target trip, self-esteem, tween feelings, positive parenting, media literacy, kid confidence, mom advice, gentle parenting, viral video, healthy habits, body positivity, tough conversations, school age, parent child talk, compassion, empathy, modern parenting

via MissMommyMack/TikTok and Social cut/Unsplash

TikTokker Mackenzie Waddell shares a heartfelt story about her daughter.

A mother on TikTok shared a heartfelt moment when her 9-year-old daughter opened up about her self-image concerns, wondering about her appearance as she grows up. The story was a wonderful example of a mother delicately dealing with an issue that far too many young women face. It was also a difficult moment because the conversation brought up the mother's body issues as well.

The conversation happened while the two were clothes shopping at Target. “My 9-year-old’s saying she's fat, and this is because she has to wear adult sizes versus kids 'cause she's really tall, just like me,” Mackenzie Waddell told her 222,000 followers.

A tough question in the fitting room

“She kept calling herself ‘fat’ and that she had too big of a butt and that the other kids her age don't have to wear adult clothes,” Waddell continued. “I reminded her that I, too, had to wear adult clothes when I was her age 'cause I was really tall just like she is.”

@missmommymack Im so devastated that she feels that way about herself. 💔
♬ original sound - missmommymack

The discussion led to a question that was hard for the mother to hear.

“... she asked me if she was gonna look like me when she grew up. And I asked her, ‘Do you mean big like me? When you grow up?’ And she said, ‘Yes. I'm not trying to be mean mom, but I want to look like Aunt Sarah, not you,’” she recalled.

parent child talk, compassion, empathy, modern parenting The changing room brought out a painful revelation. Photo credit: Canva

How Mom chose compassion over criticism

Her daughter’s remarks hit her right in the heart, but she responded with perfect composure. "I kept a brave face and said, 'As long as you are happy and healthy, and you love yourself, that's all that matters. No matter what size you are,” Waddell said.

The mother was sure not to take it personally, but it still cut close to the bone. “And was I hurt? Yeah, I was. But she didn't mean to hurt me. It just really sucked. Yeah,” she concluded.

The post went viral, receiving over 1.7 million views and over 2,000 comments. The most popular commenter thought that Waddell should tell her daughter to avoid commenting on people’s weight.

What the internet said and why it matters

"You should tell her she hurt your feelings. She needs to know. You did a great job supporting her in how she feels. She has to learn that skill also," Char8201 wrote.

However, many women responded with nothing but love for how Waddell handled such a challenging situation. "You responded beautifully, momma. She’s still learning and these are the moments where we provide that guidance, even when it hurts," Mavv13 wrote. "Oh mama. Thank god she feels comfortable to talk to you openly," she added.

Teaching kids about health without harm

After the tremendous response to her video, Waddell responded with another post, educating people about how one’s weight doesn’t necessarily mean they eat unhealthily. “A lot of people like to assume that plus-size people don’t know how to eat healthy or are unhealthy. When, in fact, we’re not,” Waddle said.

She added that her daughter lives a healthy lifestyle but she avoids having conversations about weight with her because “That’s what traumatized me.”

@missmommymack Replying to @user3838812846970 ♬ original sound - missmommymack

This article originally appeared last year.

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Gen Z woman who went viral for being burned out after one day at 'grown-up' job gets laid off

Getting laid off wound up proving her point.

brielle asero, employment, gen z woman, jobs, career, gen z, economy, adulting

via @brielleybelly123/TikTok and @brielleybelly123/TikTok

Brielle Asero lost her job after 2 months.

Every year, a new generation of adults realizes how hard it is to actually be an adult. Not many things can properly prepare you for the responsibilities and problems you face being an independent human being in the work force.

TikTokker Brielle Asero, 21, a recent college graduate, went viral on TikTok in October for her emotional reaction to the first day at a 9-to-5 job. The video, which received 3.4 million views, captured the public’s attention because it was like a cultural Rorschach test.

Some who saw the video thought that Asero came off as entitled and exemplified the younger generation’s lack of work ethic. In contrast, others sympathized with the young woman who is just beginning to understand how hard it is to find work-life balance in modern-day America.

brielle asero, employment, gen z woman, jobs, career, gen z, economy, adulting A woman appears stressed while working on laptop. Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

“I’m so upset,” she says in the video. "I get on the train at 7:30 a.m., and I don't get home until 6:15 p.m. [at the] earliest. I don't have time to do anything!" Asero said in a video.

“I don’t have the time to do anything,” she continued. “I want to shower, eat my dinner, and go to sleep. I don’t have the time or energy to cook my dinner either. I don’t have energy to work out, like, that’s out of the window. I’m so upset, oh my god.”

@brielleybelly123
im also getting sick leave me alone im emotional ok i feel 12 and im scared of not having time to live

On December 16, 2023 Asero gave an update on her professional life, and sadly, things aren’t going too well.

After just 2 months on the job, she was laid off. It had taken her 5 months to find the job and she had recently relocated to New York City to be near the office.

"I worked for a startup, and they didn't have the workload or the bandwidth they needed to train me and to give me work to do," she said. Being laid off during the holidays makes Asero's situation even more difficult because most employers are closed for business in late December and early January.

Remember, laid off does not mean fired. Asero had some stern words for those who would blame her for losing her job.

"I know that I'm a hard worker, and my boss literally said that I'm one of the smartest people he's ever had working under him, and he knows that I'm going to land on my feet, and he will give me a great referral to anybody, so don't start," she warned.

@brielleybelly123
can someone tell me im going to be okay !!!! feels like the world is ending i need a job immediatley i am feeling so lost rn like i moved for this...!?

"I have done everything I possibly could have, and it's still not enough," she said. To supplement her income while looking for her next big break, Asero says she will look for work as a server or nanny.

Even though Asero took a lot of criticism for crying after her first day at work, the comments on the new video were overwhelmingly positive and supportive. There were also a lot of people who shared how they had recently been laid off, too.

Her first experience in the workforce was a hard one, but her reaction to it was completely valid and something we've all felt before.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Just want to note that there’s no shame in taking a service job while you’re still looking. You’re going to be okay, you got this," Baby bel wrote. "It happened to me, seems like ur life is ending, but I promise it's just getting started. You’ll laugh about it at some point," Rachie added.

These days, Brielle is doing alright for herself as a 23-year-old living in New York City. Among other things, she has a thriving career as a content creator with over 700k followers on TikTok.

That job and the heartbreaking experience of getting laid off, it seems, was good for something after all.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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