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Why you should follow people you personally disagree with on social media

Why you should follow people you personally disagree with on social media
"Phone Manners" by Jellaluna is licensed under CC BY 2.0

We thought things were bad in 2016, but, according to the Pew Research Center, things have only gotten worse. According to Pew's 2019 study, both Democrats and Republicans see the other side as being "more immoral," "more close-minded," and less intelligent. If you go farther back, the number of Americans who view the other side as a threat to "the nation's well-being" has doubled since 1994. Even when it comes to non-political values and goals, people in both parties believe the other side doesn't share their same values.

You probably already knew that the USA is becoming increasingly more divided. You've probably even voiced that concern to friends, especially if you find yourself reading this article. In fact, that same Pew study found that majorities in both parties are concerned over the growing polarization happening in America. But, what can we do about it?



Many are quick to blame social media for the widening chasm— justifiably so. Social media companies are incentivized to create division. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram— all want people to spend more time on their apps, because attention has translated into profit. In an interview with NPR, Eli Pariser, Upworthy co-founder and author of The Filter Bubble: What the Internet Is Hiding from You, explained, "What most algorithms are trying to do is to increase engagement, increase the amount of attention you're spending on that platform." The tweets/posts/messages/memes you're exposed to on social media are perfectly curated to appeal to you.

If you're a progressive Democrat, you're more likely to see posts about reversing climate change, combating entrenched systemic racism, and the need for universal health care. If you're a conservative Republican, you'll likely see posts about stopping the climate change hoax, the need for law and order, and the burden of Obamacare. Two people, two political ideologies translates to two very different social media feeds.

Social media platforms are echo chambers. Powerful algorithms ensure that you'll never be exposed to an opinion you disagree with. It's what Pariser calls the "filter bubble." Increasingly, the people on the other side will seem unintelligent, because their facts will come off as incorrect. If you do follow someone you disagree with on social media, a wayward cousin or uncle, you'll probably eventually mute, unfollow, or even block them.

According to psychiatrist and UCLA professor Dr. Joe Pierre MD, there's an evolutionary reason behind why we like to create these cozy social media echo chambers for ourselves. "Cognitive biases like 'binary bias' tend to make us see decisions as consisting of two 'black and white' options, rather than deliberating over myriad shades of grey. That can be a helpful and even life-saving 'heuristic' when rapid action is needed, but obviously shortcuts our ability to consider other options." Our brains are designed to make quick decisions, and that's far easier to do when you see the world in binaries. You don't have to deal with all that messy grey area that's usually far truer to life.

In psychology terms, social media appeals to our confirmation biases, which Pierre defines as "the tendency to embrace information that supports what we and 'our team' already believe." This, in turn, "reinforce[s] tribal instincts that steer us to see our social world through a lens of 'us and them.'" This binary, us v. them way of thinking allows us to more easily belong and define our "tribe."

In the same way there's an evolutionary basis for us v. them thinking, there's also an evolutionary basis for why we break out of that tribal, us v. them thinking. Understanding that we're all part of the same tribe leads to compromise and altruism, a theory biologist David Sloan Wilson puts forward in his book Does Altruism Exist?. But, Pierre explains, "[compromise and altruism] tend to get discarded when we see others as 'them' and when resources are limited. Within an increasingly multicultural society like the US, and especially in the setting of modern economic anxiety, our more ingroup tribal instincts can often take over."

So, how do we tap into that compromise and altruistic way of thinking? How do we begin to recognize all of humanity as part of our same tribe? Perhaps a good starting point would be to follow people you disagree with politically on social media. At least, that's what data scientist and author Cathy O'Neil does. When asked about how to stop the filter bubble in the Netflix documentary The Social Dilemma, she explains, "you make sure you get a lot of different kinds of information. I follow people on Twitter that I disagree with, because I want to be exposed to different points of view."

But, there's a surprising conundrum when it comes to O'Neil's suggestion. According to a 2018 study, researchers actually found that when Republican study participants followed a liberal Twitter bot, they emerged from the study more conservative. Democrat participants who followed a conservative Twitter bot became slightly more liberal, but not a statistically significant amount.

Though the study's authors are quick to point out the limitations of the experiment, their findings do suggest that it's not enough to just follow people you disagree with online. You also have to really open your mind to their perspective. You have to try to understand where they're coming from. As Pierre puts it "there's a conundrum with social media… being online tends to encourage behavior that bypasses the functional etiquette of face-to-face interactions such that if we're limiting our exposure to those we disagree with to online interactions, we increase the chances of [over-simplifying] people's personalities." In short, face-to-face interactions with people on the opposite side of the political spectrum are the best route to creating that altruistic mindset.

That said, it can be hard to meet people you disagree with politically, and even harder to have a conversation with them about it. If you're a Democrat living in a city, you probably find yourself surrounded by liberal friends. Likewise, if you're a Republican living in the rural South, you may be equally hard pressed to find someone you disagree with. Our communities and friend groups are becoming increasingly more homogenous, findings again from Pew Research Center suggest.

So, perhaps social media can act as a starting point— a place where we can all dip our toes into the water of the "other" side. I recently started following my conservative House representatives on Instagram. It's a small step. But, one of them has the cutest puppy, and with each adorable puppy pic I'm reminded that— even though we disagree on a lot— we can all agree on the universality of cute puppy photos. I do my best to keep an opening mind, to understand, and do that thing that social media tries to stop us from doing— to remember that behind every feed is a human being with desires, fears, and cute puppies.


Sarah Durn is a freelance journalist and author based in New Orleans, Louisiana and is the author of The Beginners Guide to Alchemy. You can read more from her at sarahdurn.com and on Instagram and Twitter.

Joy

Pet behaviorist explains the viral phenomenon of people buying their cats concrete slabs

A pet behaviorist explains why this trend is actually purrfect enrichment.

@annieknowsanimals/TikTok

Cat owners everywhere are shocked to see how much their feline love a simple $2 concrete slab.

If you’ve traipsed through @CatTok over the past few days, you’ve undoubtedly come across various videos of cat parents bringing their feline friends a fairly unusual yet surprisingly effective enrichment tool. We are talking of course about a concrete slab. Yes, you read that right. Not a fancy new scratching post. Not some laser contraption. A cement square. That’s it.

Seriously, folks are going in droves to Home Depot to purchase these unassuming blocks. And every time they present their kitties this new treat, the reactions look something like this:

 
 @shecatcalls PART 2 | Cat enrichment ideas. The way she sits more on this $7 brick than any of the actual cat beds and huts I buy her 😂 Can anyone else relate? 🤦♀️ Video idea inspired by Kurt the Cat @Abram Engle @The Home Depot #creatorsearchinsights #cats #cattok #sillycat #funny #meow ♬ Cute - In Music 
 
 



The trend seems like it could have been ignited by this orange tabby (named Kurt) below, who loved rolling around on the sidewalk, thus inspiring his owner Abram Engle to see if he'd enjoy a concrete slab just as much. Spoiler alert: he did.

 
 @abrameng Kurt was conking the crete
 ♬ original sound - Abram Engle 
 
 

There have been as many theories as to why kitties go gaga for concrete as there are toy mice under the couch (meaning, a lot). But below, pet behaviorist Dr. Annie gives a few of her hunches as to what's driving this phenomeownon…though she adds the caveat that there haven’t yet been any official studies on it. So it's all based on her educated guesses.

 
 @annieknowsanimals why do cats like concrete? 🤔 here are my thoughts on the latest cat enrichment #trend! vc: @aero.mace #catbehavior #catsoftiktok #cat #cats ♬ original sound - Dr. Annie | pet behaviorist 
 
 

“First, I think cats are enjoying the concrete slab being brought into their homes because they are new and kind of out of place. There’s probably nothing quite like them already in the home environment,” Dr. Annie says.

This might initially sound counterintuitive, since it’s generally accepted that cats thrive on routine. While this may be true, as Dr. Annie has discussed in previous videos, their "predatory and territorial nature” makes them "sensitive to novelty.” When a toy seems static, it no longer mimics actual live prey, and therefore does not stimulate kitty as it would in nature. Same goes for cat beds and scratching posts, as they’re used to exploring and monitoring their environment. When something “new” appears in their territory, they are very motivated to interact with it.

 
 @annieknowsanimals Replying to @joshtmeadows let’s explain why cats are so sensitive to “new” stuff! @Abram Engle ♬ original sound - Dr. Annie | pet behaviorist 
 
 

Second, Dr. Annie surmises that the concrete’s porous surface makes it really great for holding onto the cat's scent, which is a key factor in marking a kitty's territory. Again, cat’s really like knowing (or in this case, smelling) what’s theirs. In many videos, you can see cat’s actively rubbing their cheek glands on the slab, Dr. Annie notes.

Also, and probably more of a no-brainer, the concrete surface is very, very fun for scratching! And while we all might know that cats enjoy the tactile pleasure of using their claws, having a part of their environment that they have control over is very fulfilling for their mental health.

Lastly, Dr. Annie confirms what many cat parents assumed, which is that temperature plays a huge role in making the concrete slab cat-friendly. Cats like warmth because they have a higher body temperature, and evolved from creatures that live in warmer climates (like topical jungles, African plains, etc.). If they are seeking a way to raise their temperature—especially in air conditioned homes—a concrete slab that’s been soaking up the sun is a great way to do so.

Thank you Dr. Annie for that fascinating deep dive. Those all seem like pretty solid theories. And while we might not ever get actual studies on this, there’s yet another fact that becomes abundantly clear: cat parents will go above and beyond to make their fur babies happy. Even if that means taking on a job in construction for free concrete.

For even more fantastic cat facts, give Dr. Annie a follow on TikTok.

Community

School cafeteria worker made a custom cart so a boy with dwarfism could serve himself

Julian's parents were blown away by the care and creativity that was put into creating his cart.

Julian Worsham gets a new cart.

Six-year-old Julian Worsham of Beaverton, Oregon is like a lot of other first-graders: he loves Super Mario and Taekwondo. But he has achondroplasia, the most common form of dwarfism, and goes to a school that wasn't built for kids his height.

"He's born into a world that just, in some ways, is not built for him," Julian's father, Brett, told WHAS11.

 dwarfism, adaptive equipment, cart Julian's first cart wasn't cutting the mustard.via Beaverton School District 

 

His mother did a walk-through before his first day at school to make sure he wouldn't run into any problems because of his height but forgot to check the cafeteria. [We] "noticed that where the food was, was right at his head," Heather told the Beaverton School District. Then, to make things more of a struggle, he had to carry his tray outside to the lunch benches.

The school made him a makeshift cart out of an upside-down milk crate on wheels to help him transport his lunch from the cafeteria to the benches.

"When I saw it I thought, 'Wow,'" said Enedelia Mottram, who's served lunch for the school district for 18 years. "I just wanted to help Julian, because I mean his head barely reaches the lunch line. He can't see anything."

 school cafeteria, lunch line, serving lunch Cafeteria service counters aren't designed for kids with dwarfism.Photo credit: Canva

That night, she talked to her husband, James, a metalworker, to see if he could come up with something better. He got his team together at Wright Manufacturing in Portland to create a new cart that allowed Julian to transport his lunch tray and see over the counter.

James told the Beaverton School District that he wanted to make something that Julian would be "proud to push around."

James and his team put together a badass cart with adjustable, handlebar grips just like a motorcycle that has a stool inside so he can reach the countertop. It is adorned with flames and a personalized license plate that says, "JULIAN."

Julian's parents were blown away by the care and creativity that was put into creating his cart.

  - YouTube  youtu.be  

 

"They took the time to get those license plates with his name, which is just like, they just really put a lot of heart into it. So when I saw it, the first thing I saw was actually a picture of James and his team who made the cart and I cried. It's just such a sweet thing," Heather said.

Julian loves the license plate and the flames and is now able to grab his lunch and get out to the benches in style.

"He's independent now," said Mottram. "Before, a staff member [would] have to be there to help him," she said.

Heather hopes that the story will inspire others to reach out and help other people in need.

"There's just wonderful people in this world that, you know, they have their eyes open. They're seeing needs that need to be met and they're meeting them. So I hope that other kids can get their needs met through this," she said.

Everyday heroes come in all shapes, sizes, and professions, and anyone who makes a difference in the life a child—especially a child with extra challenges—has truly earned the title. Cheers to Enedelia and James for taking the initiative to make the world a little more accessible to this vibrant kiddo.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Gemma Leighton/Twitter
A 6-yr-old's art teacher said she did her painting 'wrong' and the responses are just great

The impulse and ability to create art is one of the highlights of being human. It's a key quality that sets us apart from the animal world, one that makes life more meaningful and enjoyable. While there are artistic skills that make it easier for people to bring their imaginations into the visible, tangible world, art doesn't abide by any hard and fast rules. Especially kids' art. Especially young kids' art.

There is no right or wrong in art, only expression and interpretation. That's the beauty of it. Unlike working with numbers and spreadsheets and data, there is no correct answer and no one way to arrive at the proper destination. As the famous quote from Dead Poet's Society goes, "Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for."

That's why one mom was furious when her 6-year-old's art teacher told the girl her painting was "wrong."

Gemma Leighton, mother of 6-year-old Edie, shared her daughter's painting on Twitter with a request for support. Edie created the painting in an after school art club, and her art teacher told her she did it wrong.

"You can't do art wrong!" wrote Leighton. "She was so upset as art is her favourite thing to do."


 

Now, we don't know exactly what the teacher said to Edie, or why, but if a 6-year-old comes home upset and feeling like there's something wrong with their art, the teacher did something wrong. Full stop. Six-year-olds are just beginning to learn about technique, and encouragement is the most vital thing a teacher can offer a budding artist.

The internet rightfully pounced to Edie's defense, and the responses are incredibly heartwarming.

Many people shared how hurt they were as children when a teacher told them something was wrong with their art—and that they were wrong. Knowing that grown-ups had experienced the same kinds of unnecessary criticism as kids and realized that it was wrong can help Edie feel confident that her painting is not "wrong."

Others pointed out the famous artists that her painting reminded them of. Seeing how her own painting reflects some of the style and color choices of professional artists can help Edie see the spark of genius in her own artwork.

 

Songwriter Kimya Dawson, most famous for her songs in the movie Juno, shared that a middle school English teacher had told her to stop writing poems because they were "too juvenile."

"I never stopped though and making rhyming poems has been my career for over 20 years!" Dawson wrote in a Reply. "Your painting is perfect! Keep it up! Don't worry what anyone else thinks."

Professional artists chimed in with words of encouragement, pointing out that Edie's use of perspective and expressionism were quite impressive for her age.

"The only 'wrong' is not making art that speaks from your heart," wrote an artist who goes by @Artsy on Twitter. "When she expresses her passion, her vision of her world, her personal reactions to what she sees and feels, she'll never be 'wrong.'"

Now that's how it's done! Experts say that not just general encouragement, but pointing out specific things in a child's work that are the building blocks of art and literacy are key to building their self-esteem. In fact, the creative process in and of itself is great at building a child's self-esteem! It allows them to practice independence and feel immense pride at their finished product, no matter what anyone thinks it looks like. Really the only way to turn art into a negative thing for a child is to criticize it.

Even KISS guitarist Paul Stanley offered Edie words of encouragement.

 art, artists, kids, children, kids art, imagination, play, creativity, self-esteem, education, teachers, parents, moms Judging technique can come later. Way later. For now, just let kids create.  Photo by Bahar Ghiasi on Unsplash  

"Your art is AWESOME!!!" he wrote.

"There is no such thing as doing art 'wrong.' There are only teachers who are wrong!!! Your art shows amazing freedom and spirit. How can that be 'wrong'?!?! Keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing. I LOVE it!!!"

 

Imagine being a heartbroken 6-year-old who has been told by a teacher that her art was wrong, and then seeing a flood of thousands of supportive comments from people who looked at the same piece of art and told you what they loved about it. This is how social media should be used. To lift people up, to encourage and inspire, to share beauty and creativity.

After the outpouring, Leighton created a new Twitter account called Edie's Art for people to share kids' artwork, and gracious, it's a delight to peruse.

There's nothing more pure, more colorful, more full of life than art that came from a child's imagination. They may not have the technical skills to perfectly create what they envision in their minds or what they're looking at for inspiration, but that's part of what makes it so beautiful. They aren't self-conscious enough yet to hold back, and their art comes from a place of confidence and acceptance of their own abilities—that is, until some adult comes along and squashes their artistic spirit.

 

One of my favorite things as a parent has been watching my kids' artistic expressions evolve as they've grown, and I've loved their artwork at every stage. And not just because I'm their mom, but because kid creations are the best reminder of how natural the human impulse to create really is, and how beautiful it is when we share that impulse without fear or doubt.

As for Edie, she didn't let that early criticism keep her down. The original story happened about four years ago, and today Evie continues to pursue art. Her mom still occasionally shares the odd piece or two on Twitter/X, and even posted a fun stop-motion video Evie created using one of her stuffed animals. Clearly, her creative spirit could not be suppressed so easily.

"Edie is now immersed in the digital art world and still creates wonderful things every day Keep creating little artists," her mom shared in a recent update on X.

Keep painting, Edie, and all you kiddos out there. Don't let one person's opinion—even a teacher's—hold you back.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

via James Breakwell/X

All parents have had similar convos with thier kiddos.

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way. Especially when actual conversations start, as kids begin trying to make sense out of the world around them, ask questions, and test mommy and daddy's resolve.

Back in 2018, comedy writer and children's book author James Breakwell, with four daughters who were all under the age of eight at the time, shared their hilarious conversations on X. From these tweets, it looks like comedy runs in the family. Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.

 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

While Breakwell's 7-year-old wasn't as heavily featured, when she was quoted, the sarcasm was palpable. Which makes sense, considering that kiddos begin understanding this mechanism around that age.

 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

Kids really do say the darnedest things, and we love them for it. It one of the many, many ways then bring so much joy to the world. It almost makes up for the headaches and sleepless nights, doesn't it.

This article originally appeared seven years ago.

A mom shared five years of daycare pickups, with her son squealing in delight every time.

There is nothing more pure in this world than the love between a child and a caring parent. But even in the world of healthy attachments and strong family bonds, this viral video takes the cake. Twitter user @TeesePeese shared a compilation of highlights showing her son's reaction at daycare pickup, and it's seriously the most precious thing ever.

"I really do love this video," she wrote. "I recorded my son's pick up almost every day and this is his reaction every single time. For his 5th bday (yesterday) I took my favorites and made a lil compilation, from infancy to just last week." The squeals. The smiles. The skipping for joy. Gracious, it doesn't get any sweeter.

 

Clearly that's a boy who adores his mama—and also has an adorable sense of enthusiasm.

Some new parents may worry that sending their child to daycare will negatively affect their child's attachment to them, but according to psychologist Noam Shpancer Ph.D, that worry is unfounded as long as the family environment is healthy at home.

"Available data indicate that, for most children, parental attachment processes are not disrupted by daycare participation," Shpanccer noted in a 2017 article for Psychology Today. "Home variables, such as maternal sensitivity, are the strongest predictors of parent-child attachment, even for daycare children."

Clearly this kiddo's parent-child attachment hasn't suffered from being in daycare. Research also shows what common sense should also tell us—the quality of daycare matters.

 daycare, kids, parenting, quality, childcare Kids in daycare. Canva Photos.

Unfortunately, quality daycare can be prohibitively expensive, which is why the proposed affordable childcare provisions in former President Joe Biden's 2021 Build Back Better plan were a huge deal during his administration. Millions of parents have to work to support their families and middle-class American families spent an average of 14% of their income on childcare in 2021—double what the limit was under the Build Back Better framework. in 2025, that number has ballooned to 22% according to Care.com's annual Cost for Care Report.

The U.S. remains an outlier in this area. According to The New York Times in 2021, other wealthy nations contribute an average of $14,000 per year for a toddler's child care costs, while the U.S. contributes merely $500. In 2024, Statista revealed U.S. couples with two children must spend 20% of their disposable income on childcare while single parents spend 37%, according to data gathered in 2022 from the OECD. In comparison, in Switzerland, the second most expensive OECD country in the world, single parents must contribute only 18% of their income if working full-time. It's a huge difference no matter how you look at it, and in 2023, former U.S. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen called the state of childcare in the U.S. a "broken market."

 finances, childcare, costs, parenting, daycare The state of childcare in the U.S. has been called a "broken market."Canva Photos.

The virtues of stay-at-home motherhood versus working motherhood have been debated for decades, but no one can deny that childcare should be high quality and affordable whether a parent chooses to work or has to work. Personally, I was able to and chose to stay home during my kids' early childhoods, but I would be thrilled for my tax dollars to go toward helping all families get the support and childcare they need to make their individual situations work.

At any rate, we love seeing kiddos loving on their mamas, especially ones with infectious grins and delight-filled squeals. Thanks for capturing your sweet boy's joy and sharing it with the rest of us @TeesePeese. You brought smiles to so many faces.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.