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Larry David looks at a couple breaking up
If there's one thing we know about comedian Larry David, it's that he tells it like it is. Well, at least like it "is" according to Larry. Having co-created Seinfeld (with Jerry Seinfeld), it was often rumored that Larry was represented through both lovably grumpy characters, Jerry and George. Things just seemed to happen to these guys, and while George would usually get easily agitated, Jerry was the embodiment of a shrug emoji.
Later, when Larry created Curb Your Enthusiasm for HBO, he leaned into the character even more, finding himself in hilarious situations with very little empathetic attachment. And because he was so true to that character, both in its writing and performance, a lot of people simply love him for it.
In a delightful Instagram Reel on The Seinfeld Addict page, Larry goes on Jimmy Kimmel Live and among many anecdotes, reveals what he believes to be his best quality: how he deals with breakups.
Larry tells him matter-of-factly, "I think my best quality is - I'm a great person to break up with." Jimmy laughs, while Larry reiterates, "Fantastic. So fantastic."
He goes on, "There's no histrionics. There's no scene. Ya know, everybody's afraid to say it. 'Larry, I'm so sorry, I just don't think we should see each other anymore.'" Larry then shows Jimmy how he reacts, cheerily exclaiming, "Oh! Really? Okay, that's good!" To which Jimmy asks, "That's your best quality?"
This conjured up Seinfeld memories in the comment section. "One of the best scenes in Seinfeld ever. 'Oh. That's okay. I'll meet someone else.'" Of course, they're referring to the "Even Steven breakup," where a woman dumps Jerry at the coffee shop and he's unbothered, to say the least. So much so that as he pays the bill, he earnestly says, "Anyway, it's been really nice dating you for a while. Good luck!"
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This is in stark contrast to another famous Seinfeld episode, wherein Elaine must face the "Bad Breaker-Upper." She explains to Jerry, "He says the mean things you don't mean, but he means 'em." (Boy did he ever!)
- YouTubewww.youtube.com
Handling breakups is quite the topic on Reddit, with countless threads dedicated to it. In the subreddit r/datingoverthirty, one person posed, "What would you want to hear during a breakup?" There were nearly 200 answers.
This Redditor shares, "Acknowledgment of the fact that it sucks and that it must be difficult for me, and that I'm allowed to feel whatever I feel. No excuses, no 'I'm letting you down gently so you're not allowed to blame me,' no 'you're so great I'm sure you will find someone that will make you happy.' Just the facts, an apology, and accepting that he may dislike you for a bit for hurting him."
And this one just wanted their meat back. "One thing I like is if a woman is going to break up with me, she brings me my stuff that I left at her place. One time, a woman broke up with me, but before that, I bought these t-bone steaks and left them in her freezer. She brought the steaks back (and also my books), and so it sucked that I didn't have a girlfriend anymore, but it was okay because I had a couple of steaks."
Break Up GIF by Studios 2016Giphy
Sometimes we can't all be as cool-headed as Jerry and Larry seem to be. In the article, "How to Respond Maturely, and the Benefits of Responding Positively, When Someone Breaks Up With You" by Alianess Benny Njuguna, twelve suggestions for handling a breakup are given. These include self-soothing, not trying to change their mind, listening, and perhaps one we often forget: forgiveness. "Eventually, find forgiveness for them in your heart. It's difficult, and it may even seem impossible right now, but holding a grudge against them will only hurt you in the end and keep you from having positive dating experiences."
Left: Teacher Diane Tirado. Right: The note she left for students after being fired.
If you're of the mind that kids today are being coddled and not properly prepared for the real world, well, you might want to buckle up for this one. The story out of a public school in Florida has parents and teachers alike up in arms.
A Florida teacher was fired for giving her students zeros for missing assignments. Diane Tirado has been a teacher for years. Most recently, she was an eighth-grade history teacher at Westgate K-8 School in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Diane recently gave her students two weeks to complete an Explorer notebook project, but several students simply didn't hand it in. Since there was zero work done, Diane gave them zeros.
She got fired for it.
Michael Scott from The Office saying "What?"Giphy
The lowest possible grade that teachers can give students is a 50, even if they don't turn anything in. That means that an extremely poor completed assignment is worth the same number of points as no assignment at all.
Hardly seems fair, right? Westgate is far from the only school that has such a policy, however.
A message written on the whiteboard for her students after Diane Tirado was firedDiane Tirado/Facebook
It's a rule that Diane, unsurprisingly, does not agree with. After she was fired for disobeying, she left her students a charming goodbye message on the whiteboard.
"Bye kids. Mrs. Tirado loves you and wishes you the best in life. I have been fired for refusing to give you a 50 percent for not handing anything in. Love, Mrs. Tirado"
The scale, as outlined by the school, reads as follows:
A = 90 to 100
B = 80 to 89
C = 70-79
D = 60-69
F = 50-59
Diane later shared the story on Facebook, hoping to spread awareness about the school's policy.
“A grade in Mrs. Tirado's class is earned," she said.
“I'm so upset because we have a nation of kids that are expecting to get paid and live their life just for showing up and it's not real."
Diane's post has gone viral, and most commenters agree with her position – it's not fair to hand out grades for work that doesn't exist.
No zero policies are common in many schools, and teachers notoriouslyhate them. But it's at least worth considering why they exist. Some educators say it's because when a student earns a zero, it's very difficult for them to ever recover their grade in that class. In other words, it may be too harsh. Others argue that, if you don't want a zero, don't turn in nothing! Getting an earned-zero is a great way to learn to at least try.
A follow up statement from the school stated: "Ms. Tirado was released from her duties as an instructor because her performance was deemed sub-standard and her interactions with students, staff, and parents lacked professionalism and created a toxic culture on the school’s campus. ... During her brief time of employment at West Gate, the school fielded numerous student and parent complaints as well as concerns from colleagues. Based on new information shared with school administrators, an investigation of possible physical abuse is underway."
However, school representatives did not deny the existence of the no zero policy, and Tirado claims the school engaged in a smear campaign after she became a "whistleblower" on their policies. She's currently considering legal action against the district.
Still, the debate over the grading policy rages on.
“The reason I took on this fight was because it was ridiculous. Teaching should not be this hard," Diane said.
This article originally appeared 6 years ago.
Couples, whether married or just longterm partners, really aren't all that original. We all fight over the same things. Chores, money, and sex are pretty much the big three. But Dr. John Gottman, probably the most prominent and influential psychologist in the world of marriage and relationships, says the number one thing couples fight about is actually nothing. That's right, nothing at all!
But how can a couple fight about nothing? The answer: It's super easy. Haven't you ever found yourself locked in a bitter disagreement and suddenly stopped to think, "How the heck did we get here?" Gottman, basically one of the founding fathers of modern couples counseling, writes that something as simple as a disagreement about where to dinner can quickly lead to a conversation full of resentment, insults, miscommunications, and hurt feelings.
Mark Travers, a psychologist and author, recently took this idea a step further and argued that only 10% of arguments in relationships are actually about "the thing." The other 90% are about a deeper, underlying issue. He calls it the 90-10 rule of conflict.
Couples arguments are like icebergs. 90% is below the surface.Canva Photos
He writes in an article for Forbes that "only 10% of fights stem from the immediate problem, while 90% are driven by deeper emotions—unmet needs, past wounds and unspoken fears."
Gottman agrees, commonly saying that "Usually, underneath that fight, is an unfulfilled dream."
It's easy to see how this plays out using common examples.
A couple might fight over a sink of unwashed dishes. Usually, the dishes themselves aren't that big of a deal, but the fight balloons out of control because there are underlying resentments about the division of labor in the household.
A pile of dirty dishes is a fight waiting to happen!Canva Photos
Take the initial example of disagreeing about where to go for dinner. It should be such a simple problem for two adults to solve together! But if you're constantly fighting about it, it could be a sign of a repetitive issue: Maybe one partner never compromises, maybe one is overly thrifty or one is too casual about spending money.
When the underlying issue goes unresolved, the fights come up again and again and again, and can be triggered by the smallest possible catalysts.
Once you understand the 90-10 rule, you can start to see a path to better conflict management, and a much happier romantic life.
Travers urges couples in the midst of a disagreement to, instead of reacting to what was said, to try to uncover the true meaning behind those words. Remember, human beings aren't great at being directly and completely honest. We rarely voice our deepest desires and wants and needs, but they come out in other ways.
Gosling had the right idea.Giphy
The goal should be to reframe minuscule disagreements around the deeper emotion or pattern they represent. Instead of "You didn't do the dishes!" it's "I feel overwhelmed and like we're not a team when I do everything around the house." He also writes that you should try to be genuinely curious about your partner's perspective on the disagreement, and to not react defensively to how they might view it differently.
Being monogamously committed to someone is hard, right? One day you're just doing your thing, and the next you have to use all these new psychological tools and empathy techniques because someone forgot to wash a plate. But not only will the extra effort lead to a better relationship, it could even improve your health. Multiple studies have shown that good conflict resolution skills in a relationship are tied to better longterm health outcomes, including lower stress, which can impact longevity. Arguments happen in any relationship, but the couples who don't let fights about small things escalate into blowouts — and the ones who can still use humor and affection even when disagreeing — are so much better off than the rest.
Gottman's teachings say "Typical conflicts are merely a reminder that a relationship is two different people working together to understand differences and love each other despite flaws," and that arguments, even fights, are an opportunity to deepen communication and ultimately your love for each other. Not a bad way to look at things, right?