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TikTok's scarily precise, too-real beauty filter has people rightfully freaked

Women should not feel 'devastated' by their real faces, yet here we are.

TikTok, beauty filters
Annie Reneau/TikTok

The Bold Glamour filter on TikTok takes social media filters to a whole other level.

First, allow me to introduce myself—and my "Bold Glamour" alter-ego—via TikTok:

Freaky, right?

Normally, I'm good with the way my face looks. (One of the gifts of your late 40s is fully embracing your face in all its glory.) But I was surprised to find that the longer I used that filter, the more…well, homely my real face started to feel. There's just no way for my real face to compare to the model-like one in that video, because this filter isn't just a faux makeup job. It basically gave me plastic surgery, botox and a Photoshop airbrush to boot, and as overdone as it is, looking in the mirror after making that video really did trigger some insecurities about my real face that I didn't think I had.

If a beauty filter can make me start to feel "meh" about my looks, I can only imagine what it's doing to the psyches of young women who don't have decades of life experience and confidence-building behind them.

Visual artist Memo Akten shared a thread on Twitter illustrating how scary these unreal-yet-too-real filters are, with examples from women illustrating how they do a number on our brains.

“I don't wanna be known as the TikTok filter guy, but ICYMI after attacking GenX w teenage filter, TikTok just dropped a new filter to take out Millennials & GenZ," he wrote. "'Beauty filters' are not new, but the precision on this is beyond uncanny. This is psychological warfare & pure evil.”

Women are sharing how a hyper-real filter like this breeds and fuels insecurity, which is the last thing we need when we are already fighting body image and beauty standard battles on multiple fronts.

@meghan__lane__

Yall gotta take this filter down i dont know her SHES A WHOLE DIFFERENT PERSON

Video filters in general can be a lot of fun. My teens and I have a blast playing around with Snapchat filters that make everyone look like they're crying or turn people into cartoon characters and all kinds of silly things. But this is not that. This is leaning fully into Kardashian-esque beauty culture and creating an illusion that impossible beauty standards might actually be possible. Seeing is believing, after all.

Consciously, we know it's an illusion. It's just a filter. It's not real. But that doesn't change how our minds process seeing our filtered faces, nor does it change the very real impact they have on our self-image.

"I definitely see a new theme to body dysmorphic concerns," Dr. Josie Howard, a board-certified psychiatrist who specializes in psychodermatology told InStyle. "People begin to expect themselves to look like their filtered self and can become obsessed with achieving that in the real world, which leaves them depressed, anxious, lonely, and disappointed."

Experts have been sounding the alarm about the link between augmented reality filters and body image issues. As Harvard Business Review reports, "Physical appearance is a key component of identity and as such it can have a substantial impact on psychological well-being. Studies have shown that virtually modifying appearance can provoke anxiety, body dysmorphia, and sometimes even motivate people to seek cosmetic surgery."

But we don't even have to tap professional researchers to tell us all this. Just ask any portrait photographer about the changes they've seen in their clientele since the advent of social media filters. Here's one photographer describing how she sees beautiful women feeling "devasted" by how they look in photos because they want to look like what they see in their filtered social media posts.

@coffeetillvodka

This filter is INSANE! Its so real, and i can see how damaging this could be. #filters #women #aging #youth #beauty #reality #photography #womensempowerment #mentalhealth

Photo editing and filters have been around for a long time, but that doesn't mean they haven't gotten more ubiquitous and more damaging. A shift in lighting to get rid of unflattering shadows is a very different beast than a filter that changes your entire facial structure and texture to look like a magazine ad.

I would argue that this too-real video filter, which allows you to see yourself in real-time with a model-perfect face, is far more problematic than already-problematic-enough photo filters. Having your face altered that way and having your own movements and your own voice attached to it…it messes with you, even when you know it's not real. I experienced it myself in just a matter of minutes, and I consider myself fairly immune to such things.

For young women and girls who are just in the early stages of forming their self-image, it's an extremely dangerous social experiment. Parents, please talk to your kids about the psychological impact beauty filters like these can have, and maybe encourage them to stick to ones that turn faces into horseheads or make flowers fly out of their mouths instead. Those who profit off of women's insecurities aren't going to altruistically change, so it's up to all of us to make sure young people internalize that filters are phony and their faces are fine, just as they are.

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Joy

5 small things that made us smile this week

Your weekly cheat sheet to the best of the Internet

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Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s asweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends atAll In), or a spontaneous moment between strangers that's so joyful it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second). These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1. The best travel buddy surprise 

@tarareynolds03

Surprising Grandson with going on vacation with him.

♬ original sound - Tara Leanne Reynolds
This sweet grandson thought he was just heading out on vacation—until he spotted a very familiar face at the airport. The moment he sees Grandma standing there, his jaw literally drops. He sets his backpack down and then runs straight into her arms for the biggest hug. "Oh my God! You're coming with us to Jamaica, right?!" he asks her, already smiling from ear to ear. It's the kind of unscripted joy that makes you want to call your own grandma to say hi—and other TikTokers are having all the feels in the comments section: "This brought me to tears," says user KE. "I would kill to go on another vacation with my grandma again. She passed in February. Take so many pictures!"

2. Saying 'thank you' to a very special teacher 

Last week, we shared a question on Upworthy’s Instagram that sparked an outpouring of heartfelt responses:
“If you could say thank you to one person right now, who would it be, and why?”

For Kate Delisle, a teacher in North Andover, Massachusetts, the answer came instantly: her longtime colleague and teaching assistant, Jeanne Donovan.

“Jeanne has been by my side for seventeen years,” Kate shared. “Next year, we’ll have to split our program — and we won’t be working together anymore.” In her message, Kate described Jeanne as more than just a coworker. She’s supportive, empathetic, and “my right arm — someone who lights up every room she enters. I’m privileged to know her and consider her family.”

To celebrate that incredible bond, our friends at All In recently paid a surprise visit to Kate and Jeanne at their school — letting Jeanne know just how deeply appreciated she is by her colleagues and students alike. And get this: Jeanne is *so* beloved that Kate's parents, kids, sister, and husband all came to the surprise to honor her alongside everyone else. A true tear-jerker and a must-watch.

3. The proudest big brother

@caylaleighbrown This is the original video, He also said it looks like Mike Wazowski after we got done crying LOL #fyp #infertility #infertilityjourney #twins #twinpregnancy #ultrasound #pregnancyafterinfertility #pregnancyannouncement #twinannouncement #twinsies #twinmom ♬ original sound - Cayla Brown ✨ WDW

Grab your tissues for this one. After eight long years of hoping for another baby, TikTok user Cayla Lee Brown surprises her stepson Caleb with a sonogram photo—and his reaction is nothing short of beautiful. When Caleb realizes not only that he's going to be a big brother but that twin siblings are on the way, his eyes well up and he whispers "We're having twins?!" Cue the heart explosion. In a follow-up video, Cayla shares something that makes this news extra special: Caleb isn't actually her biological child, and although she considers Caleb her son she wasn't sure she'd be able to have biological children at all. "[Caleb] was my gift and I was blessed with two more," she explains. This video is the best reminder that love makes a family, and sometimes the best surprises take a little time.

4. Overly excited dogs 

@puppylovestoplay6 Part23: When they hear a word they like#dog#funny#funnyanimals#funnypets#animals #dogsofttiktok #pet #foryou #longervideos#foryou#fyp #funnyvideo ♬ original sound - Puppylovestoplay

This feel-good compilation is basically a highlight reel of dogs at their happiest: realizing they’re about to go on a walk. From excited tail wags to full-body zoomies, every pup in this video gives a masterclass in unfiltered enthusiasm. One especially clever owner even uses sign language to say “walk,” just to see if their dog picks up on it—and spoiler: the reaction is still pure chaos (the joyful kind). These dogs just know, and they are ready (read: unhinged.) Truly a reminder that the simplest things—in this case, some fresh air and a little adventure—are what spark the most joy.

5.Bunny ASMR

@megancottone The way she munched down the carrot ribbon #bunnies ♬ Married Life (From "Up") - Gina Luciani

If you've had a stressful day, allow this floofy little friend to press the reset button on your brain. TikTok creator @megancottone gives us a full 60 seconds of bunny bliss: one ridiculously adorable rabbit, some deliciously crunchy snacks, and the kind of soft background music that makes your heart rate drop in the best way. The gentle munching noises? Therapeutic. The fuzzy face and floppy ears? Instant joy. It’s like nature’s version of white noise—but cuter. Honestly, someone get this bunny a wellness podcast deal.

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In.

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Sustainability

Beavers were brought to the desert to save a dying river. 6 years later, here are the results.

Their engineering feats are pretty dam incredible.

Canva Photos

Can outsider beavers save this dried up river?

It's not easy being a river in the desert under the best of circumstances. The ecosystem exists in a very delicate balance, allowing water sources to thrive in the harsh conditions. These water sources in otherwise extremely dry areas are vital to the survival of unique wildlife, agriculture, and even tourism as they provide fresh drinking water for the people who live nearby.

But man-made problems like climate change, over-farming, and pollution have made a tough job even tougher in some areas. Rivers in Utah and Colorado that are part of the Colorado River Basin have been barely surviving the extremely harsh drought season. When the riverbeds get too dry, fish and other aquatic creatures die off and the wildfire risk increases dramatically.

About six years ago, one team of researchers had a fascinating idea to restore the health of some of Utah's most vulnerable rivers: Bring in the beavers.

beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate changeBeaver in water. Photo by Svetozar Cenisev on Unsplash

In 2019, master's student Emma Doden and a team of researchers from Utah State University began a "translocation" project to bring displaced beavers to areas like Utah's Price River, in the hopes of bringing it back to life.

Why beavers? It just makes dam sense! (Sorry.)

Beaver dams restrict the flow of water in some areas of a river, creating ponds and wetlands. In drought-stricken areas, fish and other wildlife can take refuge in the ponds while the rest of the river runs dry, thus riding out the danger until it rains again.

When beavers are present in a watershed, the benefits are unbelievable: Better water quality, healthier fish populations, better nutrient availability, and fewer or less severe wildfires.

It's why beavers have earned the title of "keystone species," or any animal that has a disproportionate impact on the ecosystem around them.

Doden and her team took beavers who were captured or removed from their original homes due to being a "nuisance," interfering with infrastructure, or being in danger, and—after a short period of quarantine—were brought to the Price River.

Despite the research team's best efforts, not all the translocated beavers have survived or stayed put over the years. Some have trouble adapting to their new home and die off or are killed by predators, while others leave of their own accord.

But enough have stayed and built dams since 2019 that the team is starting to see the results of the effort. In fact, beaver projects just like this one have been going on all over the state in recent years.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The water levels in the river are now the healthiest they've been in years. The fish are thriving. Residents of Utah are overjoyed at the results of the experiment.

A column in The Salt Lake Tribune from 2025 (six years after the beaver translocation began) writes that the revitalization of the Price River "helped save our Utah town."

"A tributary of the Colorado River, the Price River runs through downtown Helper. On a warm day, you’re likely to find the river filled with tourists and locals kayaking, tubing and fishing along its shore. A decade ago, it was hard to imagine this scene—and the thriving recreation economy that comes with it—was possible."

Of course, it wasn't JUST the beavers. Other federal water cleanup investments helped remove debris, break down old and malfunctioning dams, and place tighter regulations on agriculture grazing in the area that depleted vital plant life.

But the experts know that the beavers, and their incredible engineering work, are the real MVPs.

beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate changeAn actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price RiverPublic Domain

In other drying, struggling rivers in the area, researchers are bringing in beavers and even creating manmade beaver dams. They're hoping that the critters will take over the job as the rivers get healthier.

Utah's San Rafael river, which is in bleak condition, is a prime candidate. In on area of the river, a natural flood inspired a host of beavers to return to the area and "riparian habitat along that stretch had increased by 230%, and it had the most diverse flow patterns of anywhere on the river," according to KUER.

It's hard to believe that beavers nearly went extinct during the heyday of the fur trapping industry, and continued to struggle as they were considered nuisances and pests. Now, they're getting the respect they deserve as engineer marvels, and their populations have rebounded due to better PR and conservation programs.

To that I say...it's about dam time!

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Animals & Wildlife

Mississippi Gulf Coast is home to the only photographed living giant squid in North America

There may be more but only one has been photographed.

Photo credit: NOAA

MS Gulf Coast is home to only photographed living giant squid

Giant squids are the things nightmares and science fiction movies are made of. Squids are not the most adorable things to look at unless you're a zoologist or marine biologist. These ocean-dwelling creatures look like they would eat you if given the chance though, thankfully, this is not a worry most people need to have. Unless you are going deep into the ocean far removed from the United States, your chances of running into a giant squid are quite low.

But they aren't zero. It turns out you don't have to go to some far off country to see a giant squid in the wild;, you just have to go to Mississippi. Marine mammal researcher for Mississippi State University’s Coastal Research and Extension Center, Dr. Holley Muraco reveals in an interview with the Mississippi Department of Wildlife, Fisheries and Parks that the waters right off of the Mississippi Gulf Coast are home to the only living squid photographed in North America.

giant squid; Mississippi Gulf Coast; gulf coast; Gulf of Mexico; sperm whales; sperm whale squid battlesMedusa image of giant squid in Gulf of Mexico off of Mississippi Gulf CoastPhoto credit: NOAA

The Mississippi Gulf Coast water is home to a lot of different aquatic critters. It's a place known for it's sea food and home to the Institute for Marine Mammal Studies, a nonprofit organization that rescues and rehabilitates injured marine animals and houses those who can't be re-released into the wild. The organization also serves as a center for education on the different types of marine animals with interactive live animal shows at a fraction of the cost of visiting an aquarium. Mississippians are used to sharing the water with the different fish that live in the bay, bayou, sound, Gulf, and the ocean waters beyond the Gulf.

giant squid; Mississippi Gulf Coast; gulf coast; Gulf of Mexico; sperm whales; sperm whale squid battlesSign warning against feeding alligators next to alligator in Mississippi marshlandsCourtesy of Jacalyn Wetzel

A lot of time in Mississippi is spent outside on or near a body of water whether it's fishing off of a pier or kayaking in the bay. Gulf Coast residents have learned to peacefully exist with the animals that come with the territory, including alligators. But the discovery of a living giant squid in the body of water Mississippians enjoy year round is a surprise to locals and their Gulf Coast neighbors in the neighboring states.

"Are you serious? If Mississippi residents actually knew this, they would be ecstatic to share it. I was born and raised in MS and that's the first I've ever heard it. I actually witnessed a manatee in Biloxi Bay as a kid and no one believed me," one person exclaims on a short clip of the interview.

giant squid; Mississippi Gulf Coast; gulf coast; Gulf of Mexico; sperm whales; sperm whale squid battlesMississippi Gulf Coast beach in BiloxiCourtesy of Jacalyn Wetzel

"As an Alabama resident, knowing they found giant squid off the coast of Mississippi doesn't make me feel more comfortable with being offshore," someone else shares.

Giant squids aren't something people imagine much outside of movies or "scholarly" debates after a few drinks on who would win in a fight, a giant squid or a sperm whale. Turns out the sperm whale versus squid match is due to researchers once finding pieces of a large squid inside the belly of s sperm whale. Mississippians can rest assured that their waters would be the scene of the next rematch if there ever was one because according to Dr. Muraco, they've also spotted the huge sperm whales in the same water.

"We have a resident population of sperm whales, right off, maybe 60 miles off of Gulfport. A resident population of sperm whales and so we know that we're having sperm whales with epic battles of giant squid. That's happening in our backyard, ya know. I'm like, it's crazy." Muraco excitedly tells the host before adding, "And I just want anybody who will listen to know, we can take ownership of this. Mississippi has the best access to that Mississippi Delta, Desoto Canyon, that magic place right there where all these marine mammals are trying trying to survive."

Dr. Muraco also exclaims that Mississippi is also the home of Rice's whales, the most endangered species of whales in the world. According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), there are fewer than 100 Rice's whales in the entire world. The Gulf really does have diverse marine life.

giant squid; Mississippi Gulf Coast; gulf coast; Gulf of Mexico; sperm whales; sperm whale squid battles2009 photo of giant squid caught in Gulf of Mexico near Mississippi GulfPhoto credit: NOAA

People in Mississippi are no strangers to the giant squid—they're just not accustomed to them being alive. The first giant squid seen in the Mississippi coastal waters was found floating in 1954, and the second was pulled from the water in 2009 as researchers were looking for prey of sperm whales in the area. The squid caught in 2009 was 19.5 feet long and weight 103 pounds.

“This is an incredibly rare find in the Gulf of Mexico,” said Michael Vecchione, director for NOAA’s Fisheries Service’s National Systemics Laboratory. A giant squid expert told the Smithsonian Insider the same, highlighting the gravity of the occurrence “Giant squid have been found more commonly in areas of the world where there are deep-water fisheries, such as Spain and New Zealand, but this is the first time one has actually been captured during scientific research in the Gulf of Mexico.”

A more recent expedition in 2019 with a specialized underwater camera named "The Medusa" caught a glimpse of a living juvenile giant squid estimated to be between 10 and 12 feet long. A video shows the squid coming to eat the e-jelly lure placed on the camera before swimming away after realizing it wasn't actually food.

Being that the squid is a juvenile, it's likely that there are more squids in the depths of the Gulf. It's just a matter of time before researchers capture evidence of older squids.

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Mental Health

There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't

Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.

Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.

It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."

Chameleon, science, reptile, adaptation, mirroringA chameleon rolls its eyes. Giphy SWR Kindernetz

Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."

While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."

Sam Elliott, cowboy, southern accentsSam Elliott gives a tip of his cowboy hat. Giphy, Sam Elliott, Grit TV

People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'

They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."

(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)

Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."

Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"

@theweirdocoach

Anyone else? #adhdawareness #adhdinwomen #neurodivergent


Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."

And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."

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Heroic dad jumps off Disney cruise ship to save his daughter after she falls from 4th deck

Onlookers held their collective breath waiting for the scene to unfold.

Photo credit: Canva

A parent would have done the same.

Sometimes, our worst nightmares happen during moments that should feel safe and joyous. They happen no matter how careful and methodical we are to try to prevent them, and when they do, all we can do is rely on our instincts and quick thinking.

For one father, that nightmare looked like watching his daughter falling overboard while on a Disney cruise.

On June 29, as reported by Newsweekand USA Today, the two were aboard the Disney Dream, whichwas returning to Fort Lauderdale, Florida after four days of sailing through the Bahamas. While it's unclear as to how the little girl fell off (though some suspected that the girl was sat on the railing to get a selfie) sources confirmed that the ship was moving, not docked, when she did fall from the fourth deck—making matters even more dire.

disney cruise ship, man jumps overboard disney cruise, man overboard, cruise ships, cruise ship storiesThank goodness this story has a happy ending.Photo credit: Canva

On the last day of our Dream voyage and it is an at Sea Day. A girl fell overboard from the 4th deck & her dad went in after her. Right after the incident we heard on the loud speaker MOB Port side!!...

The father did as many fathers would do. He jumped after her.

Over on social media, including a Disney Dream Cruise Ship Facebook group, people recalled the incident.

“Her dad went in after her,” one passenger aboard the ship wrote. “Right after the incident, we heard on the loudspeaker, ‘MOB [Man overboard] Port side!! Thankfully, the [Disney] rescue team was on it immediately and both were saved!”

Another fellow passenger shared video footage showing a life boat quickly coming to the rescue.

“We are committed to the safety and well-being of our guests," Disney Cruise Line wrote in a statement, "and this incident highlights the effectiveness of our safety protocols.”

These safety protocols largely involve overboard detection systems utilizing thermal cameras and/or micro radars to notify crew of someone falling overboard almost immediately.

To put things into perspective, only one or two people go overboard each month out of roughly 2.5 million who cruise during the same time frame, and those numbers seem to be continuously dwindling, no doubt in part thanks to tech like this. But point being, these accidents remain super rare occurrences.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Obviously, it doesn’t make them any less scary—especially in this circumstance. Which made it all the more a relief that both the father and daughter were brought back to safety.

"That's terrifying!!! Thank goodness for the happy ending though,” one viewer wrote.

Still another said, “I praise the dad for his courage and bravery to save his daughter. She will be forever thankful. A father's love.”

Indeed, many, if not most parents would have similarly risked their lives in the same situation. But thankfully this act of bravery didn’t have to become a sacrifice.

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Dad with a 3-year-old son goes on a hilarious rant comparing toddlers to 'terrorists'

Parents are feeling so seen by this.

@andrecrews/Instagram

Dad Andre Crews goes on a rant comparing his toddler to a terrorist.

In parenting, there tends to be two camps of people: those who feel there is no experience more sacred or beautiful or fulfilling than bringing a child into this world, and those who are like, “this is hard, and my kid is a jerk, but hey, let’s have a laugh about it.”

Of course, which camp you belong to changes at any given moment, depending on whether you’re dealing with the sweet little cherub etched from your very soul, or their terrible, chaotic alter ego. You know the one.

terrible twos, toddlers, parents, parenting, toddler tantrums, child psychology, kids, babiesWhat I'd give to be able to throw a tantrum like that.media4.giphy.com

It seems pretty clear which version fitness influencer and toddler dad Andre Crews was dealing with when he made a very raw, yet darkly funny TikTok comparing his three-year-old son to a “terrorist.”

A warning to those who might be sensitive to profanity: there are a lot of f-bombs thrown around in the video. Which can obviously be a little jarring when talking about a toddler, but it’s also clear that Crews, wearing a weighted vest that even gives off tactical gear vibes, is coming at this like a grizzled soldier on the battlefront—which is honestly something so many parents can relate to.

Swears aside, Crews goes on about how his kid holds his family “hostage” every night, how getting him to eat any food besides multigrain Tostitos chips scoops (“at least they’re multigrain”) and strawberry-banana Gogurt packets (“not strawberry, not banana, and if it’s not strawberry-banana…you better BUCKLE UP”), and how brushing teeth offers a whole “20 minutes podcast of war stories.”

Still, the tirade ends on a sweet note, with Crews saying, “but the next morning, he wakes up, he’s beautiful, and all the [terrorism] melts away.” If that ain’t parenting in a nutshell, we don’t know what is.

“To all the parents out there: know that it’s never easy, but you’re doing god’s work,” Crews concludes.

With over 220,000 likes on Instagram, Crews' video clearly struck a chord. So many parents chimed in to share how they too felt the carnage of the Terrible Twos.

“The more I talk to other parents we are just all raising the same kids in different skins 😂”

“The best description of parenting a toddler 🤣”

“Lmfaooooooo ….. okay so it’s not just me.”

“Hold the line buddy🤣same everywhere no back up, no support.”

“I have twins, I'm surrounded 😂😂😂”

“I HAVE SAID THIS FOR YEARS!!!! FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS 😂😂😂😂😂”

Toddlerdom is a constant experimentation phase for little ones to test the boundaries of their own free will, all while still being challenged by a still developing brain and sense of emotional regularity. So a bit of chaos, tantrums, mood swings, aggression, a bombardment of “nos!” or, as Crews put it, “terrorist” behavior. But this phase is par for the course in parenting. Kids aren’t being bad for the sake of it, they’re just navigating a pretty uncomfortable phase for the first time ever. And maybe strawberry banana Gogurt—not not strawberry, not banana, strawberry-banana—is the one and only thing to soothe that discomfort in the moment.

terrible twos, toddlers, parents, parenting, toddler tantrums, child psychology, kids, babiesTo any parent dealing with a toddler tantrum—Godspeed. Photo credit: Canva

Bottom line, if you’re a parent currently feeling terrorized by your little one, you are not alone, and you’re doing great. and there's nothing wrong with "having four cups of coffee" to get through it.

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