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Family

This woman donated bone marrow and saved a kid's life. She wants you to know some things.

Your body may have the cure for someone's cancer in it. It's time to let it out.

Have you ever wondered what it's really like to donate bone marrow?

I have.

On the website Reddit, there's a thing called AMA, or Ask Me Anything. A bone marrow donor, Kristine Sydney, took to Reddit a while ago and told her story of submitting to be a donor, matching, and donating.

There's a lot of realtalk in there and a lot of really helpful real-world info about bone marrow donation.

Instead of mystery and assumptions of painfulness surrounding bone marrow donation, there was heroism. And the knowledge that my body might cure cancer!

Neat, huh?

So let's dive into Kristine's story, and find out nine key things she wants everyone to know about bone marrow donation.

1. If you're worried about the pain of the procedure ... don't worry!

GIF via "America's Funniest Videos."

I know I've thought, "I would love to register as a donor, but I don't like a lot of pain." (Does anyone?) "I can do blood donation, sure, but needle into my bone? NOT REALLY FEELIN' THAT."

Here's how the procedure felt in Kristine's words:

"Before the procedure, though I had read about other donors' experiences, it was impossible for me to anticipate how little or how much I would hurt afterwards. Before I left the hospital, the doctor told me explicitly not to lift heavy weights or go on a long run for several days - even if I felt little to no pain. 'It's still a surgical procedure,' she reminded me. My lower back/hip area was tender for three-four days but that was it and, if not for her warning, I would have returned to my regular activity a couple days after the procedure."

After reading this testimony (and this) my brain said ... sign up. But I was still skeptical.

2. The medical procedure could turn into a beautiful experience.


GIF via MLB.

It's true that if you do match, you'll undergo some medical procedures. But you also might wind up with some new friends for life.

One of the most popular questions of this web interview with Kristine was from the mother of the child Kristine's bone marrow helped.

"Hi Kristine, first off, thank you for saving my baby! What would you say to someone who is skeptical about signing up or perhaps fearful of donating their bone marrow & is only willing to donate plasma?"

Kristine's answer:

"Mia, I'm grateful you released your information. My life is transformed by Mailyna. For those who are still fearful, I'd suggest that they check out this Reddit, the AADP video, or even the picture of me the morning after the procedure. They should read up on what the process is actually like and not be scared away by the word 'donor.' Maybe a more appropriate, friendlier term is 'sharing.' The doctors took only less than 5% of my bone marrow, so my tiny, tiny, tiny gift, which was replenished, made that difference.It's like magic — truly — how the simplest of procedures and the tiniest of Band-Aids can save a life. I consider myself so lucky to have met your daughter and your family."

Mailyna's mom's reply?

"We adore you! You & Jake will forever be a part of our lives AND our family!"

Well now. That's great.

3. Donating doesn't take that long.

GIF via "Sesame Street."

Signing up only takes about 15 minutes. Then you swab your cheek and pop the swabs in the mail. That might be all. If you get a call as a match, there's a 25% chance you'll move to the donating phase.

Kristine details what happens next:

"After you get the initial call, you go and get some blood drawn to see whether you're a good enough/perfect match. If you are the best bet, you then go for a full physical, which includes getting more blood drawn, a urine analysis, a chest x-ray, and an EKG. If you are healthy enough to give bone marrow, you wait to hear when your recipient is ready to begin chemotherapy. In the best way, being told that you are a donor is getting a gold star for being in good shape, for being healthy."

After the donation:

"It's usually an out-patient process or an overnight stay. I stayed overnight (because of nausea from the anaesthesia.) I checked out of the hospital after breakfast the next morning."

4. You don't have to be a superhero to do it.

GIF via TotalFilm.

Kristine is clearly a cool lady, but she's not, like, Mr. Rogers or Batman or anything.

"I didn't think twice about donating, and now that I've done it and I've met Mailyna, I do feel that there is a human, compassionate obligation to register and then to donate. There isn't any reason not to do it. If you're eligible to donate, you are the lucky one, because your being chosen means that you're healthy and you're literally carrying someone's cure in your blood. What a gift it is to get the call."

5. There are plenty of good reasons to donate.

How about doing it to honor someone you lost? That's what Kristine did.

"I was mourning the loss of my former student Elizabeth, who had died exactly a month before I signed up. She died of brain cancer and, on my walk home from work, I saw a poster with pictures of children, all ethnic minorities, who needed to find a match. I signed up to honor Elizabeth, who was only a college sophomore, a child, when she died. ... I registered anyway, with the hope that, if I were picked, I could, perhaps, help another child."

6. Still think it's painful? Nah.

GIF via "America's Funniest Videos."

I wanted to address the pain thing again because it was a big concern of mine.

The procedure for those who donate is usually an outpatient process or overnight stay. Kristine said she stayed overnight due to nausea from the anesthesia. And the pain? She described it like this:

"(Like) pressing into your lower back with your thumb — with medium pressure only ... for about three or four days."

Everyone do that now. Go on...

Not too bad, right? I've danced a little too hard at a wedding and felt worse pain, and the result of that dance was NOT curing someone's cancer with my body!

7. She didn't have to pay for the medical care.

GIF via "Little Rascals."

The pre-screening for bone marrow donation (and this is if you match) is a full physical: blood tests, urine analysis, chest x-ray, and an EKG.

Good news. The National Marrow Donor Program paid for everything in Kristine's case.

"The National Marrow Donor Program, which operates Be the Match (the organization with which I signed up), paid for everything, from hospital stay to the hotel room to my dinner the night before the procedure. They took care of everything."

8. You don't have to know where your marrow goes if you don't want to.

GIF via "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."

Some people worry they'll feel bad if they donate and the recipient doesn't survive.

Whoa. Realtalk express, coming into the station here.

Firstly, the point is not to be Superman, but to take a chance and take the opportunity. And if that doesn't assuage your qualms, the whole shebang is VERY anonymous.

"The donation process is still anonymous. We were not allowed to exchange any information about ourselves until a year after the transplant. In fact, any correspondence I sent was first screened by the Rhode Island Blood Center to make sure that I did not share anything specific about myself (name, location, where I worked.) "

You're anonymous from the start. That's very important.

"In early May, a year after the transplant, my recipient and I were asked whether we wanted to release our information to each other. We both said "yes" and, in a moment of synchronicity, Mailyna's mother Mia had hit "send" on an e-mail the second I dialed her number. In July, the Asian American Donor Program (AADP) flew my husband and me out to California where we met for the first time at Kaiser Permanente where she had been treated."

After some time, recipients and donors can choose to release their info to each other. There's no pressure to do it, but for Kristine, meeting her recipient clearly had a big impact on her.

9. Bone marrow can essentially cure some types of cancer.

Seriously? GIF via "Empire."

Your body may have the cure for cancer in it! How cool is that!

Kristine states it perfectly:

"How amazing it is that another human body literally has the potential to be someone else's cure... It's hard for me, even now, to wrap my mind around it."

This online interview with Kristine had a huge impact on me.

Not because I need bone marrow or even because I know someone who does.

It's personal to me because while I'm a blood donor, I was kinda squeamish about signing up to be a bone marrow donor. It just seemed like signing up for the most painful, paperworky, awkward, and (again) painful experience of life.

I was so wrong.


GIF via "High School Musical."

So while I was writing this, I went to www.aadp.org/homekit and asked for a kit in the mail!


"When I met Mailyna, I also met Myla, another girl who is looking for her perfect match. I wish so badly that any of the people who need bone marrow would get a call saying, 'Hi. We've activated your match.'"

I'm sharing this because this one Reddit conversation changed my mind about becoming a bone marrow donor.

And in this case, changing someone's mind could save someone's life.

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Pura
Pura Fragrances
Justice

Walking Alongside Martu: A journey with one of the world’s oldest living cultures

Pura’s inaugural impact collection honors both sacred traditions and sustainable futures.

James Roh
True

In a world driven by speed, efficiency, and immediate results, it’s easy to forget that lasting change is built on trust. Real impact doesn’t come from rushing toward an end goal or measuring success through lofty metrics. It comes from falling in love with the problem, building a community around it, and sharing a vision for lasting transformation.

Pura, the smart home fragrance company that marries premium fragrance with innovative technology, recently launched its inaugural impact collection with K Farmer Dutjahn Foundation (KFDF) and Dutjahn Sandalwood Oils (DSO). The Pura x Dutjahn partnership began with a clear purpose: to source a sacred ingredient directly from its origin while honoring the land and the people who’ve cared for it. Our goal wasn’t simply to find sandalwood — it was to find a community and an ingredient that embody exceptional land stewardship, ethical harvesting, and transformative, community-led impact. After careful research and over three years of development, we saw an opportunity to secure a premium, luxurious ingredient while supporting a regenerative supply chain that invests in Indigenous-led education, economic opportunity, and land stewardship.

James Roh

Over the past several years, we’ve walked alongside Martu, an Indigenous tribe from the vast Western Australian desert. Martu are one of the oldest living cultures in the world, with a history spanning 60,000 years. As nomadic hunter-gatherers, they have unparalleled ecological knowledge, passed down through generations, making them the traditional custodians of the land. Their approach to sandalwood harvesting isn’t driven by market demand but by a deep respect for seasonal rhythms, land health, and cultural law. Their work adapts to the environment—whether it’s “sorry time,” when mourning pauses activities, or the harsh desert conditions that make travel and communication difficult. Martu operate on Martu time, a deliberate rhythm shaped by millennia of experience, far removed from the rapid-swipe, hyper-productive pace of Western systems.

Martu’s ecological knowledge isn’t documented in baseline reports. It’s lived, carried in stories, and practiced with rigor and respect for the changing needs of the ecosystems. True partnership means unlearning the typical approach. It means standing beside—not in front—and recognizing that the wisdom and leadership we need already exist within these communities. Our role isn’t to define the work, but to support it, protect it, and learn from it.

James Roh

Tonight, as I spoke with Chairman Clinton Farmer and the KFDF team about our focus for this piece, I learned that Clinton’s truck had broken down (again), leaving him to “limp” back to town from the desert at low speeds for hours and hours. He had been awake since 3:00 a.m. This is a common and costly setback, one that disrupts the harvest, demands days of driving, and brings real financial and emotional strain. These barriers are relentless and persistent, part of the harsh reality Clinton and his community face daily. It's easy for outsiders, detached from the reality on the ground, to impose rules, regulations, and demands from afar. Rather than continuing to impose, we need to truly partner with communities — equipping them with the resources to operate sustainably, avoid burnout, and protect the very land they love and care for. All while they endeavor to share these incredible, sacred ingredients with the world and build an economic engine for their people.

There is much to learn, but we are here to listen, adapt, and stay the course. The future we need will not be built in quarterly cycles. It will be built in trust, over time, together.

To learn more about the partnership and fragrances, visit Pura x Dutjahn.

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Science

What will Earth look like if all its land ice melts? These maps show the clear answer.

Climate change isn't pretty.

via Business Insider Science/YouTube.

A map of the United States post land-ice melt.

Land ice: We got a lot of it. Considering the two largest ice sheets on earth — the one on Antarctica and the one on Greenland — extend more than 6 million square miles combined ... yeah, we're talkin' a lot of ice. But what if it was all just ... gone? Not like gone gone, but melted?

If all of earth's land ice melted, it would be nothing short of disastrous. And that's putting it lightly. This video by Business Insider Science (seen below) depicts exactly what our coastlines would look like if all the land ice melted. And spoiler alert: It isn't great. Lots of European cities like, Brussels and Venice, would be basically underwater.

I bring up the topic not just for funsies, of course, but because the maps are real possibilities.

How? Climate change.

As we continue to burn fossil fuels for energy and emit carbon into our atmosphere, the planet gets warmer and warmer. And that, ladies and gentlemen, means melted ice.

A study published this past September by researchers in the U.S., U.K., and Germany found that if we don't change our ways, there's definitely enough fossil fuel resources available for us to completely melt the Antarctic ice sheet.

Basically, the self-inflicted disaster you see above is certainly within the realm of possibility.


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In Africa and the Middle East? Dakar, Accra, Jeddah — gone.



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Millions of people in Asia, in cities like Mumbai, Beijing, and Tokyo, would be uprooted and have to move inland.



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South America would say goodbye to cities like Rio de Janeiro and Buenos Aires.


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And in the U.S., we'd watch places like Houston, San Francisco, and New York City — not to mention the entire state of Florida — slowly disappear into the sea.


assets.rebelmouse.io

All GIFs via Business Insider Science/YouTube.

Business Insider based these visuals off National Geographic's estimation that sea levels will rise 216 feet (!) if all of earth's land ice melted into our oceans.

There's even a tool where you can take a detailed look at how your community could be affected by rising seas, for better or worse.

Although ... looking at these maps, it's hard to imagine "for better" is a likely outcome for many of us.

Much of America's most populated regions would be severely affected by rising sea levels, as you'll notice exploring the map, created by Alex Tingle using data provided by NASA.

Take, for instance, the West Coast. (Goodbye, San Fran!)



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Or the East Coast. (See ya, Philly!)


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And the Gulf Coast. (RIP, Bourbon Street!)

"This would not happen overnight, but the mind-boggling point is that our actions today are changing the face of planet Earth as we know it and will continue to do so for tens of thousands of years to come," said lead author of the study Ricarda Winkelmann, of the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research.

If we want to stop this from happening," she says, "we need to keep coal, gas, and oil in the ground."

The good news? Most of our coastlines are still intact! And they can stay that way, too — if we act now.

World leaders are finallystarting to treat climate change like the global crisis that it is — and you can help get the point across to them, too.

Check out Business Insider's video below:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com


This article originally appeared eleven years ago.

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climate change
Joy

Writer shares delightful quotes from his 'mum' from before she died, and people are in love

Darby Hudson's mother had a uniquely wonder-filled perspective that has people laughing and crying.

Courtesy of Darby Hudson/Instagram

Darby Hudson's mom said the most profound things in the simplest way.

This world is filled with all kinds of people, each a mixed bag of qualities and quirks, virtues and vices. This "being human" business is complex and none of us has everything figured out, but sometimes a person comes along who's able to tap into the magical, wonder-filled side of life and express it in a way that touches people universally.

Darby Hudson's mom—hereby known as "Mum"—was one of those people, and we're all getting to know her posthumously through her delightful "Alive things Mum said to me before she died" quotes shared by Hudson. Gems like this:

"Darby, love, there's so much sadness in the world yet I'm always falling in love with the day. There's almost too much to fall in love with."

"Darby, love, I'm struggling to fit this one life into this one life. But sometimes I feel this weightless heaviness for all the lives I wish I'd lived. But then I think in all those lives I'd have still seen the same moon at night."

quotes, inspiration, darby hudson, darby love, momAll of Mum's quotes begin with "Darby, love…"Courtesy of Darby Hudson/Instagram

"Darby, love, sometimes I think I'm just too alive. Is there such a thing as being too alive?"

"Darby, love, there is so much beauty in the world. Also, I hope you've been keeping up with the politics in this country, terrible things are happening. Oh, look at that cloud, it looks like a pelican! Do you see it too, love?!"

"Darby, love, when you go for a walk remember to tell things you love them aloud: trees, clouds, fire hydrants. Tell all the things you love them."

"Darby, love, life is a walk in the park. But with rabid stray dogs and someone going to mug you. But on a beautiful day, of course, and that's all that matters."

Some of the quotes are breathtakingly beautiful snippets of reflective wisdom, like "Darby, love, everything you need is inside of you. How do you look inside of you? When you no longer have a choice." And some of them are a whole different kind of wisdom, such as: "Darby, love, never apologise then fart."

Hudson tells Upworthy that his mom loved books, especially mythology, poetry, and the classics. She had been a librarian, a high school teacher, and then a barrister (a lawyer, for the Americans reading).

"She was a bit of a dreamer yet strangely operated in the brutal world of logic," Hudson says, adding, "Barristers need to turn sentences into a form of algebra to be able to argue." He thinks her being Irish helped her in that work.

Like many people who shine brightly, Hudson's mom could also fall into deep despair. As their relationship grew closer in adulthood, Hudson learned how he could tap into her bright side to help pull her from the darkness.

quotes, inspiration, darby hudson, darby love, mom"See which emotion wins."Courtesy of Darby Hudson/Instagram

"She lived like a bit of a hermit and a local eccentric into her old age," he tells Upworthy. "She was a little sideways and taught me a lot about how to view the world and we often completed each others' thoughts. Later in life, I felt like she was less my mum and more my 'sister' and that's when our relationship got a lot better! As long as I could lure her into a sense of play, she would move from her darkness and hopeless view of the world and into a sense of magic. We all have those two sides—one of politics and one of magic. Her magic side was beautiful!"

Hudson collected all of her quotes in a book, "DARBY, LOVE..." which he said came to him during the time between Christmas and New Year's, when "days of the week don’t exist and you could feel politics drop away and magic return." He wrote in the introduction:

"Mum was a stranger to this world – she belonged to one of magic and dreams. On her good days, she was unstoppable, pure spirit. And while her darkness was pure despair, almost out of necessity, it was countered with the most incredible light. And in these current times – a world that can feel so dark – I wanted to share mum’s brightest self.

These pages hold the truth of most of what mum did and said – but they’re also an inspired love letter to her voice, channelling and capturing the spirit of the strangest, most poetic soul I’ve ever known. Some of the most 'famous' people I’ve ever met have no followers, no audience. Mum was one. I was lucky to call her mum, even if her lingering spirit still drives me up the wall sometimes."

People have been moved by both Hudson's mum's words and his celebration of her "magic."

"Darby love, this is the single most beautiful thing I’ve encountered on my device today. I’m going to jump offline now, for fear of ruining this magic - will return tomorrow for more musings (and after I’ve told the lizards on my walk that I love them)."

"What a blessing to have a mother with such a lovely spirit, so funny yet full of wisdom. My favorite: 'Darby, love, I often get the feeling that there's something very wrong with me and then another feeling comes rushing in from behind saying there's something very right with me.' That says it all about her personality 💜✨ Thanks for sharing! She must be tremendously missed, but you're keeping her essence alive!"

"Your mum’s thoughts sound so beautiful. How often have I thought to myself 'I’m struggling to fit this one life into this one life' so perfectly stated."

"I’ve never missed anyone I’ve never met before. How bout that!"

quotes, inspiration, darby hudson, darby love"Don't let it explain the magic away."Courtesy of Darby Hudson/Instagram

"I am pretty sure I love your mum. These are some of the best things I’ve ever read. Being a mother myself. In my mind possibly with the same colorful, mysterious and beautiful outlook on life and hope to have my 'legacy' of expression passed down to my children 💕"

"Your mum's words are like a eating a bowl of chicken noodle soup while being held. I want to smile and cry at the same time."

"The best thing I’ve ever read in a long time. Darby, love, you got lucky with that one."

What better way to honor the unique light a loved one brought to the world than to share glimmers of their everyday brilliance? Thank you for sharing your mum's words with us, Darby. May we all take her magical whimsy and beautiful perspective on life to heart.


You can find more of Darby Hudson's work on Instagram and find his book, "DARBY, LOVE…" here.

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Health

Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals

“I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself.”

TikTok: @wemiopakunle, @_alliechen, @mandanazarfhami,

Science confirms ‘Move in Silence’ trend might be the smartest way to achieve your goals.

TikTok's latest viral wisdom is backed by hard data—and it's making people rethink their communication habits. We live in a world of chronic oversharing. We post everything, from the routes we run (including screenshots as proof of all that hard work), to the pale-green iced matcha latte sitting at our desks or a present from a boyfriend (who will be tagged prominently, not secretly off screen). Who knows when, but our brains became wired for sharing: to record, to curate, and to post every second of our lives, then consume that of others to a disturbing degree. So, here's a radical idea: when it comes to goals and plans, try keeping them to yourself. It could be the key to making them a reality.

That's the message behind TikTok's massively popular "Move in Silence" trend, where creators like @noemoneyyy have cracked the contradictory code to success: Instead of broadcasting every big idea or project that runs through your head, if you actually want it to come to fruition, keep your plans to yourself until they're executed. And it's not just a trend; surprisingly, science also supports this muted approach.


@noemoneyyy Work in private and let the results speak! #privatelife #privatelifehappylife #workinprivate #creatorsearchinsights ♬ sonido original - Luis Jonathan

"As a former oversharer who used to tell every single friend, every single family member, or a partner everything I was doing, I promise you things always work out better when you keep them to yourself," explains creator @noemoneyyy in a video that's garnered millions of views.

On a different video by @mandanazarfhami, she says, “I don’t care what you’ve got going on in your life: that dream job, that city that you want to move to, that dream person, that dream life, that dream anything. Literally keep it to yourself until it’s done.”

Commentors were quick to agree, with one person writing: “From a young age, I never told anyone my next steps. I also taught my husband and son to keep our private matters to themselves and just do things 💯Not many people like it, but who cares🌝🙌🏼🫶🏼”

Another chimed in, “This concept has changed my life for the better.” Others replied, “100 agree 💕” and “100%🙌🏼people can’t ruin what is silent, show results.”


@mandanazarghami monitoring spirits are a real thing - move in silence and watch how much your life changes #fypシ ♬ Jacob and the Stone - Emile Mosseri


What's going on here

In a study done by New York University, researchers found that people who kept their goals private worked on tasks for an average of 45 minutes, compared to the 33 minutes of work completed by those who announced their plans in advance. The twist? The people who shared their goals expressed feeling closer to finishing, despite doing approximately 25% less work.

NYU psychologist Peter Gollwitzer, who led the research, concluded that "once you've told other people your intentions, it gives you a 'premature sense of completeness.'" He also found that the brain is made up of "identity symbols," which create one's self-image. Interestingly, both action and talking about action create symbols in your brain, so simply speaking about a future plan or something you want to do satisfies that part of your brain. When we make our goals public, especially ones that matter to us and deal with our identity, our ability to achieve said goal is significantly reduced. As the old adage goes, "actions speak louder than words."

Stranger still, in his paper "Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap," Gollwitzer notes that in order for this phenomenon to happen, one must truly care about their goals. "Ironically, this effect was only found for participants who are very committed to their goal!" PsychologyToday notes. "The lesson learned is that the more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be about them."

Quiet, silence, peace, shhh, no speaking, secret The more passionate you are about your goals, the more secretive you should be. Photo credit: Canva

Another reason to keep quiet: If you're a beginner trying something new, sharing your plans could potentially open you up to criticism and negative feedback, which could deter you from even starting. At the University of Chicago, professor Ayelet Fishbach conducted studies to determine how positive and negative feedback affects the pursuit of one's goal. According to Atlassian, she and her team found:

  • When positive feedback signals commitment to a goal, it increases motivation.
  • When positive feedback signals progress, it actually decreases motivation.
"One example the researchers give is a math student who gets a good grade on a test. If she perceives it to mean she likes math, she will study harder. If, however, she sees the high score as a sign she is making progress in the class, she may ease up and study less." - Atlassian


@_alliechen I used to be such an open book but now im a lot more reserved on my goals and plans so ppl dont judge #moveinsilence #relateablecontent #girlies #viral #success ♬ suara asli - astrooo🪐

We've all been there: excitedly telling everyone about your grand plans to backpack through Europe, the year you'll finally learn Spanish, or joining the group lesson at the tennis courts you always pass by… only to mysteriously lose all motivation a week later. Turns out, those lovely dopamine bursts that accompany every enthusiastic "That sounds great!" or "You should totally do it!" response might be precisely what's holding you back.

The good news? You don't need to become closed-off and secretive, a hermit on the top of a mountain who's afraid to share any part of themselves with the world. Research suggests that sharing your goals with one or two selected friends who can be trusted to provide meaningful support is still a good idea. Just hold off on the Instagram Live announcement until you've actually accomplished something substantial.

So, the next time you sit down to write your goals, whether they be a new year's resolution, the day's to-do list, or a five-year plan, think twice about sharing it with others. Give it time and you might have something better to share soon: the results.

From Your Site Articles
motivation
Joy

The 4 words that can keep conversation flowing forever, even between socially awkward people

You can keep seamlessly transitioning to more interesting topics.

via Canva/Photos

A couple talking over coffee.

Many people find making small talk to be an excruciating experience. They think it’s boring to talk with a stranger about the weather, sports, or weekend plans. They may also feel like they don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, or they don’t understand the point of having one in the first place.

However, those who excel at making small talk have a tremendous advantage in their professional and romantic relationships, as well as in forming new friendships. Most importantly, small talk is a window to transition into medium talk or, eventually, deep, meaningful conversations. The problem is that many people get stuck in small talk, and things stall before progressing to something beneficial.

conversation, small talk, conversation tips, communications tips, medium talk, reminderA man and woman chatting.via Canva/Photos

How to get better at small talk

The great thing is that, like anything, making small talk is a skill that we can all improve by learning some simple conversation techniques. One technique that is great for keeping a conversation going, like hitting a ball back and forth past a net in tennis, is a simple statement: It reminds me of…”

A redditor named IsaihLikesToConnect shared some great examples of how the phrase can be used to turn a mundane topic, such as the weather, into something much more fun.

Them: "It's been really rainy, huh?"

You:

Option 1 (Personal Story): "Yeah, it reminds me of a time I went on a run in the rain and nearly got hit by a car."

Option 2 (Music / Pop Culture): "It reminds me of every Adele song. When I'm driving, I feel like I'm in a music video."

Option 3 (Family): "It reminds me of my dad, he used to love playing with us in the rain as kids."

Option 4 (Thing you watched / World News): "It reminds me of this documentary I saw where they're trying to make it rain in the Sahara Desert.”

Option 5 (Place you lived): “It reminds me of when I lived in Australia, it barely ever rained there. I actually love this weather.”


conversation, small talk, conversation tips, communications tips, medium talk, reminderCoworkers having a conversation.via Canva/Photos

You see in this example that using “It reminds me of…” opened up the conversation to five potential new and more exciting topics. The “You” in the story could have responded with, “Yeah, it sure is rainy,” and the conversation would have ended right there. But instead, branching off the topic of rain into something a bit deeper took the conversation to the next level. You get extra points if you can take the “reminds me of” into a topic that you assume the other person will be interested in.

conversation, small talk, conversation tips, communications tips, medium talk, reminderCoworkers having a conversation.via Canva/Photos

What’s a polite way to change the topic in a conversation?

Using “this reminds me of…” is also a polite way to move the topics in another direction, especially when it's a topic that you don’t want to discuss or one that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. Or, if it’s a situation where the other person is monologing on one topic for a very long time, this makes it easy to transition away from their diatribe.

Ultimately, the phrase is an excellent way for you to save the person you’re talking to from being stuck in the small talk rut as well. It shows you understand that when someone brings up the weather, they are merely getting things started with something both of you have in common. They probably don’t want to talk about the weather for 30 minutes, unless they are a meteorologist. “It reminds me of…” is an invitation to go a bit deeper and shows the other person that you’d like to learn more about them.

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17-year-old launches fascinating "Sperm Racing" league to get people talking about male fertility

"When you really think about it, we all won our own individual sperm races to get onto this planet," one viewer said.

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Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets on the healthiest and most mobile sperm!

At one point or another, we all saw the videos in health class that explained how babies are made. A pivotal scene in these educational films is the inevitable race between sperm as they make their way through the cervix and uterus in a frantic rush to reach the egg before they're destroyed. It's really wild to think about—out of hundreds of millions of sperm released during sex, only one (1!) will successfully penetrate the outer layer of the egg and achieve fertilization.

And even that is not guaranteed. Successful conception requires the right timing and environmental factors in the woman's body, and it also requires strong, healthy, mobile sperm. The odds are long, and only the best can survive!

It's a wonder it took someone so long to come up with the brilliant idea: Sperm races!

sperm, sexual health, fertility, infertility, men, men's health, mens fertility, sexAnd they're off to the races!Giphy

A 17-year-old "student and entrepreneur" from California named Eric Zhu recently had the idea to pit men against each other to see who had the healthier, stronger sperm.

The whole thing has the atmosphere of a supercharged UFC fight. There's a live crowd, a pre-match weigh in, professional hype crew. There's music and lights. Apparently, if you attend a bout, you can even bet on the results of the race.

After the contestants provide a, uh, sample, the sperm are introduced onto a tiny track that mimics the shape of the female reproductive system complete with "chemical signals, fluid dynamics, and synchronized starts." Using a sophisticated series of microscopes and high-tech cameras, every movement of the sperm are tracked as the two contestant's quite literally race to the finish line.

The "athletes" recruited even train before the big showdown by honing in on their diets, workout routines, and mental discipline.

You can watch a real-life, down-to-the-wire sperm race right here:

It's complete insanity. But it's insanity for a good cause. Zhu launched Sperm Racing to start a broader conversation around male fertility, which is seeing an alarming decline.

Around the globe, men's sperm quality and counts are suffering, in part due to environmental factors, diet, and more. Fertility is so often seen and discussed as a women's issue, but more men need to know they play an important role. Certain factors are out of our control, but diet, exercise, sleep, stress management, and more can actually play a massive role in sperm quality.

Male infertility is responsible for about half of all infertility, which is what you would expect. But did you know that sperm quantity and quality also play a major role in embryo development, miscarriage risk, birth weight, fetal health, and likelihood of other pregnancy complications? If not, you're not alone. We don't talk about this nearly enough.

sperm, sexual health, fertility, infertility, men, men's health, mens fertility, sexHaving healthy sperm is way more important than most people realize.Giphy

There are some fair criticisms of Sperm Racing, to be clear. Some commenters find the whole thing gross and off-putting, and it's worth questioning why we need to wrap men's health in this hyper-macho, sports-like packaging for people to take it seriously. There's talk on the official Sperm Racing website of setting up an official league, the best competitors becoming professional athletes. "Where legends are born," the eye-rolling manifesto reads. It reeks of the same men who won't get their regular prostate exams because they think it's "gay" (yes, that's really a thing).

Then again, the whole thing is just so absolutely, absurdly ridiculous that it can't help but generate headlines and grab attention. And maybe that's exactly the point. Having a salad and going for a run to improve your sexual health isn't overly exciting. But training for a chance to win the Sperm Racing championship belt? Now that's guaranteed to get a few reluctant dudes up off the couch, even if they have no real intention of competing.

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