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Phone or handwritten? The great debate ensues.
Are you the type of person who always writes grocery lists by hand? Perhaps on the back of a receipt, in a special notebook, or on an index card? Do you insist on this method, even though you’re the only one in the store unfurling paper like an ancient scroll while everyone has their heads down, tapping away at their phones?
Lists are undoubtedly important. In a recent poll, research revealed that the average British adult writes an average of three to-do lists a week—which, in some cases, can add up to 9,766 lists in a lifetime. “Evidently, we all rely on lists for one aspect of life or another,” commented Shahbaz Khan from STABILO, a high-quality pen and pencil company.
But when it comes to the actual list-making, does the method in which you create it really matter? Apparently, yes. And your choice, handwritten or digital, can say a lot about your personality.
People who write their lists by hand might be able to remember them better.Photo credit: Canva
In 2024, two professors at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, Dr. Audrey L.H. Van der Meer and F.R. (Ruud) Van der Weel, found that handwriting activates more elaborate and widespread brain connectivity patterns compared to typing. They suggest that the physical act of moving your hand while writing creates spatial and temporal patterns in the brain that promote learning.
In a similar study, Japanese researchers found that participants who wrote calendar events by hand on paper showed increased brain activity—particularly in memory regions—compared to those who recorded the same information on smartphones. The hand writers also recalled the information 25% faster than those who typed. Writing by hand triggers extra neural activity in regions tied to learning and memory. So, no matter how messy your handwriting might be, that grocery list might also be giving your memory a little work-out.
Conscientiousness isn't the same as self-control or self-restraint—rather, it refers to a person's tendency to be organized, reliable, goal-directed, and self-disciplined. It's no surprise, then, that those who score highly in conscientiousness tend to be successful: they aim for high-profile outcomes and have the ability to develop well-thought-out plans to accomplish their goals.
Nothing quite compares to writing with your perfect pen. (By the way, what's yours? A Pilot G2-2? Uni-ball Vision Elite? Or perhaps something fancy, like the Squire Classic Pen from Baronfig?) It's a complete sensory experience as your pen glides across paper. This physical connection helps create a deeper engagement with the task at hand.
Writing your list by hand could curb impulse shopping. Photo credit: Canva
Yanliu Huang and Zhen Yang from the LeBow College of Business at Drexel University examined how handwritten shopping lists differ from digital ones. Their research showed that people who write lists on paper tend to make more planned purchases and fewer impulse buys.
Let's face it: sometimes you can't read your own handwriting. When rushing, you might scribble illegibly, forget items, or leave the paper at home entirely. (Pro tip for forgetful hand-writers: snap a photo of your list before heading out, just in case.)
Paper lists are also cumbersome to update on the go. Picture this—you've just remembered you need onions while backing out of the driveway, but now you're scrambling for a pen. Don't do this. Plus, paper lists make it difficult to coordinate shopping with other people.
In a poll of 2,000 people in the United Kingdom, researchers found that when it comes to list-making, only 40% use their phones, while 63% write on notepads and 24% use sticky notes. So congrats—you're right in the middle!
Your phone is a miracle list-maker: people who use digital lists value practicality over sentimentality—they appreciate the power of automatic sorting, expense tracking, and integrated coupon features. These lists can be updated instantly and accessed from almost any device, making them the most efficient, streamlined option.
Beyond expense tracking, many apps provide nutritional data, meal planning suggestions, and inventory management—helping you make smarter, healthier food choices. You're not just shopping anymore; you're strategically planning your nutrition.
Digital lists are perfect for collaborations. Photo credit: Canva
The beauty of a digital list is that it can be shared with others in real time, allowing multiple people to add items seamlessly. This eliminates miscommunications and duplicate purchases while reducing paper waste and promoting environmentally friendly habits.
Taking a break from your phone can be refreshing, but keeping your grocery list there means more screen time—potentially leading to digital fatigue or distractions from notifications and other apps. There's also the practical concern: what if your phone dies, you lose Internet connection, or your service drops out while shopping?
Grocery shopping can be such a treat. Whether you use digital lists, handwritten scribbles, or memory tricks to track what you need, there's no wrong approach. The “best” way to write a grocery list depends on you: your personal preferences, your lifestyle, and what works for your routine. Ask yourself, “What will make me feel the most organized and calm?” Then let your grocery list lead the way.
Photos from the 1800s were so serious.
If you've ever perused photographs from the 19th and early 20th century, you've likely noticed how serious everyone looked. If there's a hint of a smile at all, it's oh-so-slight, but more often than not, our ancestors looked like they were sitting for a sepia-toned mug shot or being held for ransom or something. Why didn't people smile in photographs? Was life just so hard back then that nobody smiled? Were dour, sour expressions just the norm?
Most often, people's serious faces in old photographs are blamed on the long exposure time of early cameras, and that's true. Taking a photo was not an instant event like it is now; people had to sit still for many minutes in the 1800s to have their photo taken.
Ever try holding a smile for only one full minute? It's surprisingly difficult and very quickly becomes unnatural. A smile is a quick reaction, not a constant state of expression. Even people we think of as "smiley" aren't toting around full-toothed smiles for minutes on end. When you had to be still for several minutes to get your photo taken, there was just no way you were going to hold a smile for that long.
But there are other reasons besides long exposure times that people didn't smile in early photographs.
"Mona Lisa" by Leonardo da Vinci, painted in 1503Public domain
The long exposure times for early photos may have contributed to serious facial expressions, but so did the painted portraits that came before them. Look at all of the portraits of famous people throughout history prior to cameras. Sitting to be painted took hours, so smiling was out of the question. Other than the smallest of lip curls like the Mona Lisa, people didn't smile for painted portraits, so why would people suddenly think it normal to flash their pearly whites (which were not at all pearly white back then) for a photographed one? It simply wasn't how it was done.
A smirk? Sometimes. A full-on smile? Practically never.
Algerian immigrant to the United States. Photographed on Ellis Island by Augustus F. Sherman.via William Williams/Wikimedia Commons
Our perceptions of smiling have changed dramatically since the 1800s. In explaining why smiling was considered taboo in portraits and early photos, art historian Nicholas Jeeves wrote in Public Domain Review:
"Smiling also has a large number of discrete cultural and historical significances, few of them in line with our modern perceptions of it being a physical signal of warmth, enjoyment, or indeed of happiness. By the 17th century in Europe it was a well-established fact that the only people who smiled broadly, in life and in art, were the poor, the lewd, the drunk, the innocent, and the entertainment […] Showing the teeth was for the upper classes a more-or-less formal breach of etiquette."
"Malle Babbe" by Frans Hals, sometime between 1640 and 1646Public domain
In other words, to the Western sensibility, smiling was seen as undignified. If a painter did put a smile on the subject of a portrait, it was a notable departure from the norm, a deliberate stylistic choice that conveyed something about the artist or the subject.
Even the artists who attempted it had less-than-ideal results. It turns out that smiling is such a lively, fleeting expression that the artistically static nature of painted portraits didn't lend itself well to showcasing it. Paintings that did have subjects smiling made them look weird or disturbing or drunk. Simply put, painting a genuine, natural smile didn't work well in portraits of old.
As a result, the perception that smiling was an indication of lewdness or impropriety stuck for quite a while, even after Kodak created snapshot cameras that didn't have the long exposure time problem. Even happy occasions had people nary a hint of joy in the photographs that documented them.
Another reason why people didn't smile in old photos is that dental hygiene wasn't the same as it is today, and people may have been self-conscious about their teeth. “People had lousy teeth, if they had teeth at all, which militated against opening your mouth in social settings,” Angus Trumble, the director of the National Portrait Gallery in Canberra, Australia, and author of A Brief History of the Smile, said, according to Time.
Even wedding party photos didn't appear to be joyful occasions.Wikimedia Commons
So how did we end up coming around to grinning ear to ear for photos? Interestingly enough, it may have been the advent of motion pictures that pushed us towards smiling being the norm.
Photos could have captured people's natural smiles earlier—we had the technology for taking instant photos—but culturally, smiling wasn't widely favored for photos until the 1920s. One theory about that timing is that the explosion of movies enabled us to see emotions of all kinds playing out on screen, documenting the fleeting expressions that portraits had failed to capture. Culturally, it became normalized to capture, display and see all kind of emotions on people's faces. As we got more used to that, photo portraits began portraying people in a range of expression rather than trying to create a neutral image of a person's face.
Changing our own perceptions of old photo portraits to view them as neutral rather than grumpy or serious can help us remember that people back then were not a bunch of sourpusses, but people who experienced as wide a range of emotion as we do, including joy and mirth. Unfortunately, we just rarely get to see them in that state before the 1920s.
This article originally appeared last year.
Mel Robbins giving a TEDx speech.
One of the most disappointing aspects of life is that, at some point, everyone close to you will eventually let you down or fall short of your expectations. Some have slip-ups and fall short of what you'd expect, and some consistently let you down your entire life.
It can be deflating when people don’t show up when you need them, especially if you have been there for them. When you need people and they don’t show up, it feels like you’re carrying a burden that you can never get off your back. That’s why Mel Robbins’ two-word “Let them” theory is so powerful. It liberates you from constantly feeling controlled by those who let you down.
Mel Robbins is a podcast host, author, motivational speaker, former lawyer, and author of The Let Them Theory. In the TikTok video below, she explains how allowing people to be themselves gives you the power to improve the things you can control, instead of suffering in the same cycle of expectations and disappointments.
@melrobbins People can only meet you as far as they've met themselves... and a lot of them haven't done the work. Listen to The Let Them Theory, narrated by yours truly, only on @audible 💚 #melrobbins #letthem #letthemtheory People can only meet you as far as they've met themselves... and a lot of them haven't done the work. Listen to The Let Them Theory, narrated by yours truly, only on @Audible 💚 #melrobbins #letthem #letthemtheory
The “Let them” practice begins by acknowledging that others are imperfect and we cannot change them. “People can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. Most people haven't gone to therapy, they haven't looked at their issues, and frankly, they don't want to. Let them. Let your parents be less than what you deserved," she opens the video. "Let your family life be something that isn't a fairy tale. Try to remind yourself that they're just doing the best they can with the resources and the life experiences they have."
Motivation expert Mel Robbins.Photo © Cody OLoughlin (PR Photo)
While it can be hard to admit that some of the most important people in your life will never turn things around to your satisfaction, accepting that reality is the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. “But here's the important part,” Robbins continues. “Now that you know the 'Let them' theory, you get to choose what happens moving forward, because you're gonna focus on what you can control, which is what you say, what you do, what you value, and what energy you bring to the relationship.”
Put simply: Now that you allow them to be who they are, you can act accordingly. You can stop carrying the weight of unmet expectations.
Robbins’ theory is a simple way of understanding the locus of control psychological concept. The locus of control is the extent to which we believe we have control over our own lives. When our actions, thoughts, and feelings are contingent on events (and people) outside of our control, we have an external locus of control. The healthy thing is to revert that to an internal locus of control, where we believe we control the outcomes of our actions. Those with an internal locus of control tend to be less influenced by others, work hard to get what they want, and report being happier, and more independent.
Motivation expert Mel Robbins.Photo via © Tony Luong (PR Photo)
“The only person you can change is you,” Robbins says at the end of her video. "When you say ‘Let them,’ you see your family exactly as they are, perhaps for the very first time in your life. They're human. You have no control over what's happened. You have no control over who they are. You can only control what you do from this point forward. Accepting the reality of your situation doesn't mean you're surrendering to it. Instead, it's about reclaiming your power to shape your future.”
Now that you’ve taken control of your future, what are you going to do with it?
Teachers share insights on the signs parents truly care about their kids.
Few people spend more time with kids than teachers. From the classroom to the playground, teachers have deep and intuitive insight into what their students' relationships are like with their parents, and many teachers can tell when parents are invested and truly care about their kids.
In a Reddit forum, member @allsfairinwar posed the question: "Teachers of Reddit: What are some small, subtle ways you can tell a child’s parent really cares about them?"
Teachers from all education levels shared their insight. From elementary teachers to high school teachers, these educators offered their firsthand experience with students that informed them about their relationship with parents at home. These are their most powerful observations.
Hit It Bang Bang GIF by Eddie & Laura Burton Realty GroupGiphy
"When the parent stops and actually looks at their kid's art/work/listens about their day before heading home. I know everyone gets busy but damn don't shove the art your kid is proud of right in their bag without first looking at it. We do the same piece of art for a week. They spent 2 hours on that, spare 2 minutes to show them their effort is worth something to you." —@Worldly_Might_3183
"When the child speaks, the adult listens. When the adult speaks, the child listens." —@homerbartbob
"When the parents are familiar with the child’s friends and talk to their child’s friends, I know they’re listening to their child talk about their day at school. Or when parents let slip that they got a full recap of something I said or that happened at school. I know they are having conversations with their child at home, and paying attention." —@Pinkrivrdolphn
Games GIFGiphy
"When the kid is happy/quick to tell their parents about things. Not just serious or important things, but just random bullsh*t. Do I care about Minecraft? Not really. Do I care that my kid cares about Minecraft? Very much. Lay it on me kid. Spare no detail." —@IJourden
"They let their kids fail and experience natural consequences. Good parents are preparing their children to be adults, and part of that is learning responsibility and accountability. Let your kids make mistakes and learn from them!" —@oboe_you_didnt
"You can tell a lot about home life based on students behavior the week leading up to a break. If they are happy/excited/giddy/endearingly obnoxious I know they are going somewhere safe to someone who cares. The students who don’t have that are often increasingly anxious/angry/withdrawn/acting out." —@pulchritudinousprout
Monsters Inc Hug GIFGiphy
"The moment that a parent greets the child at the end of the day is very telling. Some parents clearly want to know all about their child's day and connect with them, some don't." —@Smug010
"When I make positive contact home and the parent speaks glowingly about their own kid. It’s great to hear." —@outtodryclt
"A few years back, I heard a parent ask their kid if they found someone to be kind to today. That made a real impact on me. Now I try to remind my own kids to 'find someone to be kind to' if I’m doing drop off and/or ask 'Who were you kind to today?' after school." —@AspiringFicWriter
"When a student asks for help, they actually need the help. They are not doing it just to get your attention."—@Typical_Importance65
Dance Marathon Reaction GIF by Children's Miracle Network HospitalsGiphy
"It doesn’t always mean everything is perfect at home, but a child who is well-groomed is always a good sign. That doesn’t always mean the most fashionable clothes or perfect hair, just that the child is clean, their clothes are clean and appropriate for the weather. Also when a child knows how to celebrate their own wins and isn’t afraid of making a mistake or being wrong- that shows that their parents have modeled good emotional regulation." —@itscornelectric
"They get them services when they’re struggling. I work with kids with disabilities and the learning outcomes/experience of school (and by extension, the greater world) for kids who have their needs met is far different to those who don’t. The number of parents who respond to a teacher saying 'I think it might be worth John seeing an OT/a speech therapist/ getting his eyes checked' with something along the lines of 'f*ck you, what would you know?' Is astounding. The parents who make appointments, share information from specialists with the school, and are proactive about their children’s abilities or disabilities - their kids see such improvements." —@prison_industrial_co
"They ask thoughtful questions. Even something that seems routine to adults like, 'How is/was your day?' I'm in elementary, and it's appropriate for kids to talk mostly about themselves. Kids who ask thoughtful questions are doing so because it's consistently modeled. It's also not very common (again, age appropriate egocentrism) so it stands out." —@mundane-mondays
Read Book Club GIFGiphy
"When you know they're being exposed to reading at home. Maybe they can read at a higher level or they're mastering their sight words. For students with learning disabilities, the kids are trying their hardest to read, using context clues, using pictures and making up a story, or even making different voices for characters. When I was in a low functioning Autistic support room, this one little boy couldn't form words, but he made noises is different voices and used dramatic face expressions on each page to represent characters talking." —@Mediocre-Bee-9262
"Accountability. A good parent knows that their kids isn't perfect and if the kid does something wrong (like hitting or bullying other kids) they don't look for excuses, or for how the other kid provoked that behavior, but helps their kid understand why their behavior was hurtful." —@SadlyNotDannyDeVito