For a child with a parent behind bars, life can be isolating and stressful.
As many as 10 million children experience the pain of a parental incarceration at some point in their lives, missing out on the everyday activities so many take for granted. This particular separation can be as damaging as a death or divorce due to shame, stigma, and lack of understanding.
And staying connected with an incarcerated parent is not easy. Phone calls from prison are often cost prohibitive, and outgoing mail is frequently delayed. Given the location of state and federal prisons, many kids are unable to visit their parents behind bars.
In fact, 59% of parents in state facilities reported never having had a visit from their children.
For parents behind bars, visits like this one are a rarity. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.
But volunteers with the Women's Storybook Project found a way for moms in prison to connect with their little ones.
Founded by Judith Dullnig in 2003, the Texas nonprofit allows incarcerated women to read books to their children.
All GIFs from Women's Storybook Project Texas.
With the help of one of the 150 volunteers, each mom selects a book and reads it aloud into a tape recorder.
The tapes and books are then mailed to their children, so the kids can hear their mother's voices and feel close to her during the challenging period of her incarceration.
An inmate's child reads his storybook with a relative.
Each month, the program mails approximately 350 new books and tapes to children.
The Women's Storybook Project is currently available in five of the eight women's prison facilities in Texas, with the goal of expanding to the entire network.
The Women's Storybook Project isn't just a win for the kids, it's a priceless opportunity for their moms.
Lauri Arrington, a former Storybook participant, recorded 14 books for her children while she was incarcerated. She was released two years ago and wrote about her experience with the program in The New York Times.
For Arrington and others, the program offered normalcy and dignity while living in a place often lacking both. She writes, "Many women told me that while reading to their children, they briefly felt normal. Helping them, I felt normal. Normal as in, someone who mattered again."
With the success of the Women's Storybook Project, similar programs are taking off across the country.
A corrections facility in New York launched its own Story Corner, and facilities in Iowa and Maryland offer Storybook projects for dads behind bars too.
As the American prison population continues to grow, programs like this become invaluable to maintaining strong family relationships, which can improve an inmate's success upon release.
See the power of the Storybook Project in this short video created by Women's Storybook Project Texas.
12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.