upworthy
Education

She quit teaching, works at Costco, and has 'never been happier.' That says something.

Maggie Perkins' viral videos and unique perspective have ignited the conversation around teacher attrition.

Teacher turned Costco employee talking to camera

Maggie Perkins doesn't miss having a winter break.

Maggie Perkins loves teaching, loves teachers and loves students. In fact, she loves them so much that working on her Ph.D. in Educational Theory and Practice. Her research is focused on teacher attrition, examining why quality, experienced teachers quit the profession—something she understands all too well since she recently became one of them.

The former educator now works at Costco and she says she's never been happier. Her migraines are gone. Her anxiety has improved. She sleeps through the night. As an entry-level employee, she makes less money than she did teaching, but not enough less to make a difference in her financial situation. She goes home from work happy at the end of the day.

Perkins has been sharing the contrast in working conditions between the classroom and Costco on her TikTok channel and it is eye-opening, to say the least.


To be fair, Costco is known for employee satisfaction. They take good care of their people with solid wages and benefits, and as a result, they have an impressive 94% retention rate for employees who stay longer than a year. That's incredible for a retail business. And it's not just about their comparatively generous compensation package. Perkins has shared in several of her videos how she feels respected and valued as an employee at Costco—far more than she did as a teacher working in various schools, teaching various grades in two different states.

People often assume that the biggest reason teachers quit is inadequate pay, but compensation is just one piece of the teacher exodus puzzle. Perkins makes it clear that teachers should definitely be paid more, but attrition isn't just about money. It's often a result of burnout caused by a multitude of factors, including lack of time and support to do the job they are trained to do, the twisted way the teaching profession is viewed and valued by society and the pile-on of additional duties teachers are assigned to do besides teaching.

@millennialmsfrizz

Today I was on Varner & Co with 🦊. This is the full segment. It feels short, but they managed to squeeze me in between a study about it cheese causes nightmares and the woke 👮‍♀️ adding pants to a root beer mascot. It was my pleasure to make a contribution.

Let's look at the time element alone. Planning is a big part of teaching, especially if you're trying to meet individual students' learning needs, yet teachers are rarely given the amount of planning time they need. On top of that, the time they do have is often usurped by other things.

"Let's say you have a fight in your classroom," Perkins tells Upworthy. "Well, then you just lost 45 minutes of your planning because you're going to have to be in the front office doing documentation, calling people. You just lose your day. There's so many different ways to lose your whole day, and then you end up either taking work home or making hard choices about what to let go, like you're juggling glass and rubber balls and you have to figure out which ones are glass and which ones are rubber. Like, what can you let drop?"

@millennialmsfrizz

Tonight when I walked out of work, I felt happy. I felt happy because I enjoyed my work, my coworkers and felt good about my job. When I was a teacher I only felt good leaving work *because I was leaving* the building. Yes, of course, there were *things* I enjoyed about the job, but being a teacher was so much more than teaching, and the anxiety inducing parts of the job were shredding me. Education as a whole is an environment of scarcity. From the resources to the ways teachers are treated. Costco is run in a way that operates from a place of generosity and genuine care. It’s amazing to me that a multi billion dollar company can exude this for its members and employees but the education system cannot. #formerteacher #teacherquittok #costcotiktok #retailworker #exteachertiktok #formerteacher #scarcitymindset #costcodoesitagain

A big misconception some people have about teaching is that it's easier than other professions because you have long holiday breaks and summers off. Some even go so far as to use the word "cushy." Plenty of teachers have refuted that notion, showing how many hours they actually work outside of official work hours or how they have to work two jobs to not be living paycheck to paycheck.

"If you're coming at teachers being like, oh, you have a cushy job, then you work it," says Perkins. "If you think it's so soft and so cushy, it has so many amazing benefits, then come on over and work this job. More of us should be lining up for it."

"But if we have a teacher shortage, how can it be that cushy of a job?" she adds. The reality is that people who have never worked in a classroom have no idea how relentless and stressful it can be on multiple levels, even when you love teaching and love your students.

Here Perkins describes what it was like working a 7-day shift during the holidays instead of having that cushy winter break:

@millennialmsfrizz

I used to be a teacher and now I work at Costco. This is my first year not having a winter break. I do not miss it at all. My pace of my work life now is so much better, I am not sick or exhausted like I used to be when I was a teacher. When I was a teacher I used my winter break basically to recover and go into the next semester of just surviving. #f#formerteachert#teacherquittokc#costcotiktokr#retailworkere#exteachertiktokc#careertransitiont#teachersonbreak

Perkins points out that we don't actually have a teacher shortage, but rather a teacher exodus. There are plenty of qualified, credentialed teachers who have simply given up trying to make the career they love actually sustainable.

Many people have put forth suggestions for various school reforms, but those who have seen the problems from the inside know they are layered, widespread, systemic and deeply ingrained. Perkins tells Upworthy she believes the school system needs a complete overhaul.

"I think we will be forced into it," she says. "But I don't think that'll happen for at least 10 years. I think things are going to get much worse before they get better."

@millennialmsfrizz

If you are new to this account, you should know that the issues I discuss are things I’ve experienced at several schools, grade levels and in different states. These are systemic issues, and are getting worse, not better. But, welcome, I suppose, and I hope you feel seen, known and appreciated because you are. #teachersoftiktok #formerteacher #teacherquittok #educatedexit #KAYKissCountdown #educationcrisis #teachershortage

She says focusing more on teachers and students would help alleviate some of the "crash and burn" she sees coming, or perhaps even help prevent it. But some major changes would have to take place for that to happen.

"A teacher who has six class periods with 35 students in them? That person cannot possibly deliver quality instruction to all of those students all day. And then have one planning period to grade, plan, et cetera. It's just it's impossible."

She says reducing class sizes, increasing planning periods and eliminating extra duties such as carpool duty, hallway duty and other seemingly small things that chip away at a teacher's time are immediate changes that can and should be made. But school administration is often more focused on testing, data, and resources than on what students and teachers themselves need to create a healthy, sustainable learning environment.

Then there's the issue of how teachers are viewed. Outright disrespect is one thing teachers face, but even well-meaning people who think they are supporting teachers can contribute to the problem.

For instance, Perkins explained in a video that she doesn't call teachers "heroes" anymore because it's a loaded term that leads to a martyrdom mindset. After all, heroes fulfill the mission, no matter how hard it gets, right? Heroes are ready and willing to sacrifice it all for the cause. Most people who refer to teachers as "heroes" do so as a compliment, but when you really break down what that term means, it sets an expectation that teachers will do the job no matter how bad it gets, sacrificing themselves and their own well-being because their profession is a "noble" one. That's not just unfair; it's abusive.

@millennialmsfrizz

Teachers are called heros. Teaching is regarded as a noble profession, a higher calling. Teachers should be able to work in conditions that do not require heroic sacrifice. Teachers should be able to do their job in a normal way without suffering, sacrificing, defend for themselves etc. #teachersoftiktok #teacherquittok #teachersareheroes

"The thing that I most want to communicate in my videos is that teaching is not a 'noble profession.'" Perkins tells Upworthy. "It's a job, and people should be paid for the job that they do and respected for the work that they do, and that by attributing nobility to the profession, you assign to teachers this emotional labor of the whole culture, of the whole society."

"When we do that, we add to them additional responsibility above and beyond their actual jobs," she adds. "And then that allows people to degrade the profession by saying basically we pay you with emotion. Like we say, 'You're heroes!' and we get in the cycle of praising them for what they do, and then gaslighting them for what they fall short on. But what they're falling short on is stuff that was never their job in the first place."

Perkins also wants teachers to know that they have transferable skills and that they don't have to put up with a poor quality of life when they can find a higher one in a different profession.

"I see so many teachers like myself even feeling trapped or feeling limited, like teaching is the only thing we can do," she says. "And then when they go into other professions, they're wildly successful. They rise to the top in their career fields. They are good employees and they enjoy the quality of their life as well."

"I want to communicate to teachers—you're not stuck, you don't have to be afraid, your quality of life matters, and it's not selfish to transition your career, because a lot of teachers stay in it, too, because they don't want to feel like they're failing the students."

To hear more of Perkins' perspective on working at Costco and on what teaching can and should be, check out her TikTok channel @millennialmsfrizz.

Parenting

Devastated dad shares why he didn't tell his 10-year-old daughter it was her birthday

“I don’t know if we made the right decision…It’s killing us.”

@kylephilippi/TikTok

“Today’s her birthday, and we’re pretending like it’s just another day."

Kid’s birthdays are both lovely moments of celebration, and potential sources of stress for any parent, for various reasons. For dad Kyle Philippi (whom we’ve previously covered for dressing up as Jafar to cure his friend of an irrational phobia), his daughter’s 10th birthday was particularly full of anguish—since he didn’t tell her it actually was her birthday.

In a video posted to his TikTok that amassed close to 3 million views, the concerned dad shared his unique plight that brought him to this unusual decision: his daughter’s birthday falls on Jan 2, over winter break, meaning most kids wouldn’t be able to attend her birthday party. Two years prior, the Philippi found this out the hard way, when they tried to throw a party on the day, and no one showed.

“She was devastated,” Philippi let out through a sigh.

Then last year, they tried a different approach. Instead of a big social gathering on Jan 2, they had a more intimate environment of just the family and one close friend, followed by a proper party once winter break was finished. At this point Philippi explained that his daughter is on the spectrum and had auditory processing disorder—so even though she had fun at both events, she still couldn’t understand why her friend couldn’t show up on her actual birthday, and was still disappointed. That’s never what any parent wants for their kid.

To make matters more sensitive, Philippi shared that his daughter was beginning to not be invited to other classmates' parties, and suspected that part of why she yearns to have a party with all her friends there was because “she knows she’s not getting to go to everyone else’s birthday.”

Hence why Philippi and his wife decided to try something new by simply not acknowledging the birthday until they can do a party with his daughter’s school friends. Understandably, though the choice was made with the best of intentions, when Jan 2 came, there were tons of conflicting feelings.

Photo credit: Canva

“I don’t know if we made the right decision. But here we are,” Philippi shared. “Today’s her birthday, and we’re pretending like it’s just another day…and it’s killing us.”

Down in the comments people—especially those with special needs kids, or were autistics themselves—were quick to reassure Philippi that he made a tough, but right call.

“As an autistic person who struggles with birthdays, you’re doing the right thing. it’s a little unconventional, but so are kids like us!! keep it up,” one person wrote.

Another added, “these ‘decisions’ are so hard but you are doing great by taking it all into consideration and trying to do what will help her feel great on her birthday.”

It seems the real thing worth noting here is that Philippi and his wife are trying to make their kid’s birthday the best it can be for her, and that’s truly admirable. Odds are nearly every parent can relate to this on some level. And for parents with neurodivergent kiddos, that can often mean navigating uncharted territory. Maybe they’ll try a different approach next year. Maybe not. What matters is they’re trying.

And from the looks of it, the actual birthday wasn’t a total wash. In a follow up video, we see that Philippi’s daughter got her favorite chicken wings for dinner, and got to plan her upcoming birthday…which will apparently be Raggedy Ann themed.

@kylephilippi Replying to @mamamcsorley1 She ate her favorite meal today and we continued to plan out her ultimate birthday party in 9 days 🙂 #birthday #parenting #parentingtips #autism #autismawareness #autismacceptance #auditoryprocessingdisorder #surprisebirthday #birthdayparty ♬ original sound - Kyle Philippi

Naturally, Philippi will be going as Raggedy Andy, per his daughter's request.

Joey Grundl, Milwaukee pizza guy.

Joey Grundl, who was working as a pizza delivery driver for a Domino's Pizza in Waldo, Wisconsin, was hailed as a hero for noticing a kidnapped woman's subtle cry for help. It's a timeless story that continues to resonate with people today.

Back in 2018, the delivery man was sent to a woman's house to deliver a pie when her ex-boyfriend, Dean Hoffman, opened the door. Grundl looked over his shoulder and saw a middle-aged woman with a black eye standing behind Hoffman. She appeared to be mouthing the words: "Call the police."

"I gave him his pizza and then I noticed behind him was his girlfriend," Grundl told WITI Milwaukee. "She pointed to a black eye that was quite visible. She mouthed the words, 'Call the police.'"

domestic abuse, celebrity, community, kidnapped

The Dean Hoffmann mugshot.

via WITI Milwaukee

When Grundl got back to his delivery car, he called the police. When the police arrived at the home, Hoffmann tried to block the door, but eventually let the police into the woman's home.

After seeing the battered woman, Hoffmann was arrested and she was taken to the hospital for her wounds.

Earlier in the day, Hoffman arrived at the house without her permission and tried to convince her to get back into a relationship with him. He then punched her in the face and hog tied her with a vacuum power cord.

"If you love me, you will let me go," she pleaded, but he reportedly replied, "You know I can't do that." He also threatened to shoot both of them with a .22 caliber firearm he kept in his car. The woman later told authorities that she feared for her life.

An alert pizza delivery driver helped save a woman from her abusive ex-boyfriend, police say. A 55-year-old Grafton man now faces several counts of domestic ...

A day later, Grundl was seen on TV wearing a hoodie from Taylor Swift's "Reputation Tour" and her fans quickly jumped into action, tagging Swift in photos of the hero. Grundl already had tickets to go to an upcoming Swift concert in Arlington, Wisconsin, but when Swift learned of the story, she arranged to meet Grundl backstage.

"She … she knew who I was," Grundl jokingly tweeted after the concert. "I'm thoroughly convinced Taylor gave me a cold."

"This has been one of the most exciting weeks of my life," Grundl said. "I'm legitimately getting emotional and I almost never get like this. But as the likely most memorable week of my entire life comes to an end … I guess I can really say … I'm doing better than I ever was."


This story originally appeared four years ago.

Love Stories

Single man asks married men their biggest marriage regret and they don't disappoint

“She’s not complaining. She’s giving you the roadmap on how to treat her.”

Man asks married men their biggest marriage regret, they deliver

Marriage is a big step in a relationship. It's something that people think about from the time they can grasp the concept of relationships. When you factor that in with the high divorce rate, it makes sense that people want to make sure they're getting it right before they take the leap.

Typically people ask their close inner circle relationship advice. Leaning on people like their parents, siblings or friends who have been married to fill in the gaps of knowledge. But with the world being smaller than ever due to social media, it takes little effort to gather more collective knowledge from thousands of people from your target audience.

Surprisingly, people are pretty forthcoming to strangers on the internet looking for support and help. One man who goes by the name King Boiza decided to ask his internet advisors, "married men what is your greatest regret about marriage? Advise the single boys. It could be about anything." They married men didn't hesitate to answer the call in the most genuinely wholesome way.

Gleaning collective wisdom from those more experienced than you is a common practice, but being able to do it in such a large way is relatively new. Different life experiences lead to different perspectives that can be invaluable to someone still learning.

The advice provided ranged from warnings to what could be seen as universal truths about marriage.

"Your wife becomes the words you speak upon her, I regret not speaking life and good upon her," one man shares.

"In times of trouble, remember...It's not you against her but the both of you, against the problem...," someone writes.

"Listen when she speaks from the heart, once she feels unheard, she will be closed off for a long time if not forever," another advises.

"Not all women age gracefully with all their good looks and physique. Marry her for more reasons beyond her body and beauty. Seek a FOREVER," one commenter says.

Forbes reports that 43% of first marriages end in divorce with the number significantly increasing with each subsequent marriage. Finding out the regrets, struggles and triumphs of other marriages may help others feel more prepared to commit to marriage with a bit of a roadmap laid in front of them.

It's clear from the comments under the post that marriage takes work and while some of the men admittedly misstepped, they seem eager to share with others so they avoid the same mistakes.

"My biggest regret in marriage was to cheat and I'm telling you...my wife was never the same...so my advice is never cheat never ever," one guy confesses.

TikTok · Kingboiza

www.tiktok.com

"We tend to take our spouse for granted once we get married. Continue to invest your time in her. You won't regret it and she'll know that you really see her," one man shares.

But it wasn't only men who dropped by the comment section. Women stopped to share their appreciation for the wisdom being left for all to see.

"After reading this comment section, my faith in the institution of marriage is restored. Relationships are not perfect, but we gotta try with people who want to try," one woman writes.

"I don't know why I'm crying...I guess I never knew men like these existed...Your wives must be blessed," another woman shares.

If you need a dose of healthy masculinity and wholesome advice for lasting partnerships, look no further than that comment section. They're saving some future couple from heartache by simply showing up to answer a stranger's question on the internet.


This article originally appeared last year.

Health

This woman's powerful 'before and after' photos crush myths about body positivity

"Body positivity is about saying that you are more than a body and your self-worth is not reliant on your beauty."

Michelle Elman, a body positivity coach, helps people who are struggling to find confidence in their own skin. After persevering through numerous medical conditions and surgeries in her own life, Elman realized a few years ago that body positivity wasn't just about size or weight.

Things like scars, birthmarks, and anything else that makes us feel different of self-conscious have to be a part of the conversation, and she tries to make the movement accessible to everyone. Sharing her own journey has been one of her most effective teaching tools.

In May, she shared a post on Instagram of herself trying on a dress she bought five years ago in order to prove a powerful point.

In the first photo, from 2012 — when she was a size 12, she says — she's wearing a size 14 dress. In the new photo, she's wearing the same dress, though she says she normally wears a size 20.

The dress still fit.

"NUMBERS DON'T MEAN ANYTHING," she wrote in the post. "So are you really going to let a change [in] dress size dictate your day? Are you really going to let an increase in a number affect your mood?"

"A higher dress size doesn't mean: — you are less beautiful — you are less worthy — you are less lovable — you are a worse human — you are a bad person — you are a different person AND it doesn't even mean you have a bigger body."

The viral photo inspired thousands of people. While a huge majority of the comments were positive, there was still something bugging Elman about the response.

Not everyone was getting the right message.

"Since the creation of this account, I have always been told I'm beautiful 'for my size' and I never wanted to talk about it because I thought I was being pedantic but eventually decided to speak my mind about it," she says in an email.

She decided to create a follow-up post to set a few things straight about what body positivity really means.

In the second post, she took a different approach to the "before and after" shots we see so often on Instagram. People loved it.

In the caption, Elman addresses a couple of things well-meaning people got wrong about the message she was trying to spread. Some commenters said she looked "skinnier" in the 2017 photo which, though meant as a compliment, just reinforces that being skinny is somehow better.

Others said she wasn't fat enough, to which Elman could only scoff.

"If people tell you they are a certain size, believe them," she wrote.

"People think that body positivity is about trying to convince people that bigger bodies are attractive, either physically or sexually," she says.

But that's totally missing the point of what her work is all about.

"If you are still relating your love for your body to society's perception of beauty," she says, "then you are still reliant on someone else's opinion. Body positivity is about saying that you are more than a body and your self-worth is not reliant on your beauty."

Her second post is currently sitting at over 26,500 likes on Instagram — a clear sign that this is a message many of us desperately needed to hear.


This article originally appeared seven years ago.



via @Sidneyraz / TikTok

TikTok has become a great place for finding life hacks and one of the best follows is @Sidneyraz. His hook is that he shows people the "things I wish I knew before I was in my 30s." Most of his life hacks are simple, domestic tricks for cleaning the house or preparing food. But he also shares some financial advice and makes the personal admission that "not being hungover is better than being drunk."

That's a lesson that a lot of us wish we learned sooner. Like a lot of folks, Sidney is learning a lot of domestic skills in his third decade and that makes sense. That's the time when people begin to settle down with a significant other and pick up more domestic skills.

The good news is that he's not going through this life change alone. He wants to share all of it with you.

Here are 11 of his best life hacks.

Baking bacon is better than frying:

@sidneyraz

baking bacon is better than frying bacon #inmy30s #bacon


How to eat a flat chicken wing:

@sidneyraz

learned this on hot ones #inmy30s #chickenwings


A tooth-brushing trick:

@sidneyraz

30+ years of being wrong #inmy30s #oralhealth


How to stop a pot from boiling over:

@sidneyraz

it has helped many times #inmy30s #cookingtips


You can vacuum more than just your floor:

@sidneyraz

vacuuming more than just floors #inmy30s #vaccum


Did you know your dishwasher has a filter?

@sidneyraz

cleaning the dishes robot is a thing #inmy30s #dishwasher


The weatherman isn't saying what you think he's saying:

@sidneyraz

but what is the forecasted area?? #weatherreport #inmy30s


How to fill a cooler:

@sidneyraz

have a great summer y’all #inmy30s #summervibes2021


The secret behind Chinese food containers:

@sidneyraz

first time trying this #chinesefood #takeout #tipsandtricks


Hire movers:

@sidneyraz

your body will thank you #inmy30s #movingday


Not being hungover is better than being drunk:

@sidneyraz

goodbye youth. #inmy30s


This article originally appeared four years ago.