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Pop Culture

Lily Allen's joke about her kids 'ruining' her career is a spot-on comment about motherhood

No, most women can't "have it all."

Canva, Raph_PH/Wikipedia

Lily Allen shared how her kids "ruined" her career. She is not alone.

“You can have it all.”

This has been a post-3rd wave feminism promise sworn to women. That you can have a big family, a high achieving career, a fulfilling relationship, a never-ending sense of purpose, no bad hair days, healthy lunches that make themselves, and so on and so on.

But many, many women will quickly dispel that myth. There is still measurable inequality between men and women when it comes to being able to advance in their careers and have children. Even the ones who do seem to “have it all” are the exception to the rule, and likely have sacrificed other aspects of their identity.

That goes for pop stars too, apparently. While appearing on an episode of the Radio Times Podcast, British singer Lily Allen spoke candidly about her own experience of not being able to move up in the music industry after becoming a mom.

Allen shot to prominence in 2006 thanks to her hit song “Smile.” Only two years later, she earned a nomination for best alternative music album at the 2008 Grammy Awards for debut album, "Alright Still.”

But instead, Allen followed in the footsteps of celebrities like Rick Moranis, and chose to focus on her children.

"Some people choose their career over their children, and that’s their prerogative," she explained. "My parents were quite absent when I was a kid, and I feel like that really left some nasty scars that I'm not willing to repeat on mine. I’m glad that I have done that, because I think they’re pretty well-rounded people.”

In other words: “My children ruined my career,” she joked, before adding “I love them and they complete me, but in terms of pop stardom, totally ruined it.”

Though Allen has no regrets, she brought up the story to address how unrealistic it is for most women to be able to do both, and being told otherwise by society is less-than-empowering.

"It really annoys me when people say you can have it all, because — quite frankly — you can’t."

Between pay inequality, difference in work life balance, corporate attitudes towards pregnancy leave, and already being less likely to advance than their male counterparts even without the factor of children (not to mention the world not fully being set up for two working parents with zero community support) it feels safe to assume that Allen is touching on something fairly universal here.

Though her pop star chapter might have reached a close, Allen seems to still be living a pretty cool life— from her swanky New York apartment with David Harbour to winning awards for her stage acting. So though she might not “have it all,” she certainly has some pretty cool things going for her.

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Identity

Iranian woman sings solo in historic mosque, defying law against women singing in public

The single finger she raised to the man who approached to stop her said, "Nope, not until I'm finished."

@AlinejadMasih/Twitter

A woman courageously sings solo in Esfahan. Singing in public is forbidden for women in Iran.

Just before the historic 1848 Woman’s Rights Convention in Seneca Falls, New York, a woman on the other side of the globe was making her own call for women's rights. Tahirih, a Persian theologian, poet and social activist, walked into a gathering of men without wearing her veil. While a veilless woman hardly seems notable to Western sensibilities, in 19th-century Persia—what is now Iran—it was an unspeakable act of heresy.

Baring her full face, Tahirih boldly proclaimed that the day of the equality of men and women had arrived. Gender equality was a core tenet of the Babí faith she had embraced, and she would be executed for it just four years later—choked to death with her own scarf, her body unceremoniously tossed into a well.

But her reported final words echo to the present day: "You can kill me as soon as you like, but you will never stop the emancipation of women."

Nearly two centuries later, the women of Iran are still fighting for their emancipation from oppressive laws. We've seen waves of protests in the streets since the death of Mahsa Amini in September 2022, with women demanding the right to choose whether or not to wear the hijab, the Islamic head covering, without fearing for their lives.

The current Islamist regime enacted the hijab law in 1983, the same year the Iranian government publicly hanged 10 Bahá'í women—most of whom were in their 20s, one only 17—for refusing to recant their faith. Those executions, conducted one by one so the women were forced to watch each other die, showed the lengths the regime would go to in their extremism, drew condemnation from around the world and further demonstrated the courage and fortitude of Iranian women who refuse to bend to injustice.

Acts of civil disobedience are dangerous for women in Iran to this day, but that hasn't stopped them from happening. In a video shared by Iranian-American journalist Masih Alinejad on Twitter, we see a woman standing in what Alinejad shared is in one of Esfahan's historic mosques. All the woman is doing is singing, but that alone is a crime in Iran, where the government has forbidden women from singing in public.

This woman insists that her beautiful voice be heard, however. Even when a man approaches to stop her, she doesn't skip a beat. Rather, she continues her chanting while holding up her finger as if to say, "Nope. You will wait until I'm finished." Incredibly, he immediately backs off in the face of her calm confidence and courage.

Watch and listen:

In a country where women have been killed for daring to question authority and challenge the status quo, such an act of defiance is all the more impressive. According to ClassicFM, the woman was singing a poem from the Sufi tradition, a mystical form of Islam that gave us the widely beloved poetry of Rumi and Hafiz.

People in the comments responded with awe at the woman's voice and the way she commanded respect with her very presence.

Iranian women have a long history of using their voices—and their actions—to proclaim their inherent right to freedom. And until their basic human rights are secured for good, the rest of the world will continue to stand with them in support and solidarity.

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women's rights
Democracy

Patagonia says it will pay bail for employees arrested in abortion rights protests

A powerful statement from one of our nation's most trusted brands.

www.flickr.com
Everyone loves someone who had an abortion and other prote… | Flickr

In today's economy, people who work are demanding more accountability from their employers: better wages, benefits, transparency and alignment on values. The emphasis on shared values is coming to the forefront in the wake of the Supreme Court's decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, which removes federal protections for abortion. States, local governments and individuals are scrambling to react to the decision, which tosses out 50 years of legal precedence.

While the nation sorts out the politics and future legal decisions surrounding reproductive health, some companies are getting ahead of the issue by coming out publicly to support abortion rights, commonly referred to as "reproductive justice" by activists and advocates of a woman's right to choose. One of the most outspoken companies is Patagonia, which announced in the wake of the Supreme Court decision that it will not only financially support individuals who choose to have an abortion but it will provide funds to pay the bail for individuals who face legal expenses while protesting for reproductive justice.

In a statement on Patagonia's LinkedIn page, the company writes:

"Caring for employees extends beyond basic health insurance, so we take a more holistic approach to coverage and support overall wellness to which every human has a right. That means offering employees the dignity of access to reproductive health care. It means supporting employees’ choices around if or when they have a child. It means giving parents the resources they need to work and raise children."

As part of that commitment, Patagonia announced that all U.S. employees are covered for abortion care as part of their healthcare coverage. "Where restrictions exist, travel, lodging and food are covered." This includes 100% of copay costs for mental health visits.

Importantly, Patagonia showed why reproductive rights and healthcare are truly a holistic matter. In the same statement, Patagonia listed how it also supports those individuals and families who choose to have children, writing:

We support new parents with:

  • Two types of paid leave: 4 weeks of paid pregnancy disability leave and/or 12 weeks of paid parental bonding leave.
  • Private spaces to feed infants.
  • Child-care support for parents on work trips.
  • Subsidized, on-site high-quality child care.
  • Child-care stipends for parents who do not live near one of our child-care centers.

But it was a political component of Patagonia's message that went viral, with the company stating that all part-time and full-time employees will receive:

  • Training and bail for those who peacefully protest for reproductive justice.
  • Resources to make informed decisions at the ballot box.
  • Time off to vote.
Educational voting resources and time off to vote simply should not be a political issue. Our democracy and our politics would be stronger with greater participation and understanding of how our government works. It's a principle that proves values regardless of where one falls on the political spectrum. If you want to advocate and vote for greater public financial assistance, it's obviously helpful to know which programs need more help and how to speak to that. Likewise, if you are a critic of government waste and believe certain issues are better handled in the private sector, participating as an informed voter helps your cause.

But it's the willingness of Patagonia to provide financial cover for its employees who peacefully protest in favor of reproductive justice that truly makes the company stand out. How many companies are willing to go that extra mile to empower their companies to be good citizens, not just good employees?

As a company here at Upworthy, we've always been proud of the work Patagonia does to protect our planet from the threat of climate change. Putting principles first is a great way for a company such as Patagonia to show that it not only makes a great product but that it uses the goodwill and trust its brand has created to help make the world a better place for everyone. We'd all like to see a world where those principles are restored to the highest order within the halls of our government, where elected officials do the work of the people for the people. But until we achieve that more perfect union, it's important to know that where we spent our money outside of politics can go a long way toward protecting the values we cherish.


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Democracy

Here are over 30 of the best signs from the pro-choice demonstrations across America

via Becker1999/Flickr and Becker1999/Flickr

Demonstrators hold up signs at the Rally for Abortion Justice in Columbus, Ohio

The U.S. Supreme Court's swing to the right under the Trump presidency puts abortion rights in peril throughout the United States. The Court's decision not to act on a Texas law that bans abortions after about six weeks has opened the floodgates for other states to restrict freedoms.

The Texas law deputizes its citizens to report those who've had an abortion after the fetus has a heartbeat or anyone who assisted in the process. Reporters whose information leads to a successful conviction can be awarded up to $10,000 by the state.

The law is astonishing in a state that claims to value freedom. What's more authoritarian than paying your citizens to snitch on each other for their personal health decisions?

"No matter where you live, no matter where you are, this moment is dark," Alexis McGill Johnson, president of Planned Parenthood, told the crowd at the Rally for Abortion Justice in Washington.

In December, the Court is set to hear another landmark case in which the state of Mississippi is asking the justices to strike down a longstanding legal precedent that prevents restrictions on abortion access before a fetus is viable outside of the womb, which is at around 22 to 24 weeks.

Mississippi wants to ban abortions after 15 weeks.

Legal experts believe that if the court sides with Mississippi it could lead to an "inevitable cascade" of laws that would ban abortion.

"The Supreme Court since Roe v. Wade has said that there's a right to choose abortion before viability," Mary Ziegler, a professor at Florida State University College of Law and author of the book, "Abortion and the Law in America: Roe v. Wade to the Present," told PBS.

"So if the court is going to uphold this law as we expect it to, the court will either have to overrule Roe entirely or we'll have to see that pre-viability bans are OK and potentially open the door to all kinds of legislation and to a decision overruling Roe down the road," she added.

On Saturday, tens of thousands of Americans stood up to support abortion rights at 660 rallies across the country. The rallies were organized by the Women's March, in partnership with more than 90 groups, including Planned Parenthood Federation of America and the Center for American Progress.

"I think it's important to understand that pretty much everybody knows somebody that's had an abortion," Women's March Executive Director Rachel O'Leary Carmona told CNN.

"It's important for us to hear all these stories," she said. "It also is a bit of a tragedy that you know, folks have to put their pain out on display for us to be taken seriously. So what we're trying to do today is make sure we all lift our voices in solidarity with each other to make sure the folks in power hear our message."

While this is a dark time for women's rights in America, many who came out to the rallies used their creativity to express their anger at this unprecedented assault on women's rights.

Here are some of the most creative and powerful signs from Saturday's pro-choice rallies.
















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