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Man honors mom's passing with a tattoo of her handwritten diary entry from the day he was born

"The second I saw it I thought to myself, 'Oh my god, these were her first thoughts about me.'"

Photos courtesy of Jake Bley

Jake Bley wanted to commemorate the 10th anniversary of his mother's passing.



When kids are growing up, they often see their mother in one dimension—just "Mom"—without much thought for the life she lived before kids or who she is outside of that role. It's usually not until we reach our own adulthood that we recognize, "OH, Mom is much more than just my mother," and if we're lucky, we then get to know her in a whole new light and celebrate all that she is.

Jake Bley is lucky to be getting to know and celebrate his mother, Nicki—but in a very different way than most people do.

toddler in mom's arms and adult son with arm around momJake as a toddler and as an adult with his mom, NickiPhotos courtesy of Jake Bley

Nicki Bley was only 46 when she died after a year-long battle with Acute Myeloid Leukaemia in 2014. Jake, one of Nicki's five children, was in his early 20s when she passed.

"As a young mother, our relationship was closer to a friendship than a usual mother/son relationship," Jake tells Upworthy. "I could go to her about anything, and she was always supportive…she was one of my best friends."

woman bald from chemo laughing with her adult son

Jake and Nicki just months before Nicki passed

Photo courtesy of Jake Bley

Shortly before she died, Nicki gave each of her kids a special gift. To Jake, she handed over her collection of handwritten diaries she'd kept from the time she was 8 years old.

"When she gave each of her children our gifts she was very sick," he says. "But she told me she gave me the diaries and other sentimental items because she knew I would value them, and I could process her thoughts throughout the years. Get to really know who she was and value that. The good and the bad."

"It has been 10 years since she passed, and I only started really looking at the items recently," Jake shares. "It has been too hurtful to explore them until now. That's when I found the little red Collins from 1989, the year I was born. From there, I flicked to the day I was born and that was when I saw her entry—'only a little fellow.'"

Jake had been born prematurely, weighing only 5.7 pounds at birth, and Nicki had jotted "Only a little fellow" as a note beneath his statistics.

"The second I saw it I thought to myself, 'Oh my god, these were her first thoughts about me," Jake says. "I couldn't stop thinking about it."

As part of his healing journey, Jake decided to tattoo the phrase on his leg, in his mom's handwriting, to commemorate the 10th anniversary of her passing.

"I took the day off work, very nervous, and I walked into a local tattoo artist studio with no booking," he says. "Up until then I didn't feel like I could commit. My tattoo artist Riley was incredible. I told her the story, and she took the 1989 Red Collins diary and copied the handwriting on to a transfer for the tattoo."

"I love meaningful tattoos," she told him. It was Jake's first time getting a tattoo, but he says that all of his nerves instantly vanished when he saw the final product.

"It was perfect. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and it was a happy moment. When I got back to my car I cried happy tears, because for the first time in a very long time I was letting myself feel my emotions."

He shared a video documenting the tattoo experience on TikTok:

@jakebley

TW: GRIEF. I know shes watching over me. #Tattoo #Grief #griefjourney ❤️

Jake says his grief over his mother's death has been complex. "It's not until years later that I started to understand the impact of losing a parent, and the need to not only experience, but feel my emotions," he says. "Taking the time to rediscover my mother, and getting this tattoo a decade later has been part of my healing journey."

Jake's story has gone viral on social media, with people offering their words of comfort and their own experiences with remembering their loved ones, which has given a whole new dimension to Nicki's legacy.

"It has been so wonderful seeing the love pouring out from the community," Jake tells Upworthy. "The thought that 10 years on my mother's handwriting, love and memory not only lives on but is celebrated by so many truly fills my heart."

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How one woman's tattoo journey allowed her to overcome bullying and beauty standards.

"I’m able to let people know that they’re not alone and things do get better, and high school — high school isn’t forever."

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L'Oreal Dermablend

Caroline Grace is covered head to toe in tattoos.

They make her stand out, but that wasn't always her goal, especially as a teenager.

Brand new tragic kingdom dress from @westernevil 🔥www.westernevil.com

A post shared by Carolina (@curaline) on

"I didn't like the way I looked," Caroline admits. "I started to wear makeup to feel good about myself. But then I'd get bullied for how I wore makeup."

It didn't help that her family moved around a lot, which resulted in her having to adjust to six different high schools.

"I got put down a lot," says Caroline. "I got made fun of. It was very hard for me."

As she struggled to fit in, it was around that time that she also developed a love for tattoos.

Just a few of Caroline's tattoos. Photo via Dermablend.

Caroline got her first tattoo when she was only 15, but it didn't turn out exactly as planned.

The tattoo was very large and on her chest, so she bought Dermablend to help her hide it from her mom, which worked amazingly well.

She had fallen in love with tattoos after that first one, though, and pretty soon, had collected a whole slew of them to the point where she stopped keeping count.

And the more tattoos she acquired, the more beautiful she felt.

Photo via Dermablend.

"When I look at tattoos, I see beauty and self-expression," says Caroline.

Her distinctive look, which she has grown to embrace, has inspired others to find their own definition of beauty as well.

It's a huge part of why the 24-year-old has over 380,000 followers on Instagram.

She started her account like anyone else — just posting photos she thought were cool — but she also made a point of really putting herself and her body art out there. Ironically, the thing she tried so hard to keep hidden from her family was the very thing that sparked her sizable fan base.

Now she feels like she can finally help teens and adults who might be struggling with self-esteem issues for one reason or another.

"I’m able to let people know that they’re not alone and things do get better, and high school — high school isn’t forever," says Caroline.

A post shared by Carolina (@curaline) on

Does she still cover up her tattoos sometimes? Sure, but not because she's hiding.

Dermablend allows her to change up her look, which is all about self-expression and fun.

"It’s pretty fun to be able to cover up just one tattoo," says Caroline. "My skin doesn’t really define me. My tattoos aren’t who I am."

She's been using Dermablend since she was a teen because it fully covers her tats, but still feels light, which is good for her sensitive skin.

Photo via Dermablend.

When she's sporting all of them, she tends to get a lot of attention in her small town of Newport, Pennsylvania, but she's usually happy to answer questions about her look.

"I'll talk to people on the street who approach me about my tattoos," Caroline says. "If they can walk away having learned something or with one less stereotype, I think that's cool."

After all, beauty comes in all sorts of packages. The more people like Caroline who are regularly challenging beauty norms, the more space we create for people to be their authentic selves.

I'm so proud of you.

A post shared by Carolina (@curaline) on

She may have a busy life of managing a clothing business and running after her 6-year-old son, but Caroline still makes time to sit in front of a mirror and take herself in. Whether she decides to put on makeup on any given day or not, she does it to enhance who she is rather than hide. And that person is beautiful, tattoos or no tattoos.

"At the end of this journey, I hope to fully love myself, and I know I’m getting close," says Caroline.

Check out Caroline's whole story here:

Her tattoos are a form of beauty and self-expression. And so is her choice to cover them.

Posted by Upworthy on Friday, October 20, 2017
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A tattoo shop's offer to cover up hateful ink went viral. People are taking them up on it.

Beth Cutlip, co-owner of Baltimore's Southside Tattoo parlor, was working one day when a man walked in with some unmistakeable ink.

A gang member in Los Angeles. Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images.

The man's face was covered in gang tattoos, Cutlip says, and he was there to have them covered up. He got them as a teenager while running with a rough crowd, but he was a grown man now. Married. Kids. Trying to make an honest career as an electrician.

The tattoos, Cutlip recalls him saying, made people nervous when he came into their homes to do work. He needed them gone.

But they were just too big.

"As much as I wanted to help him, I had to refer him to have them removed. But I don't think he had the money," she says.

Later, when recounting the story to her husband and co-owner, Dave Cutlip, she knew there had to be a way to help people like that.

"I said, 'Dave, these people made a mistake, changed their life, and they need to get these tattoos covered up,'" she says. "He looked at me and said, 'Are you asking me to tattoo people for free?'"

Dave agreed to set aside time in the shop, once a week, for people to come in and have hateful or violent tattoos covered up, free of charge.

Beth posted a small announcement on the parlor's Facebook page, thinking a few hundred people might see it and think it was a good idea.

Instead, the post went massively viral.

Sometimes people make bad choices, and sometimes people change. We, at Southside Tattoo would like to make a difference....

Posted by Southside Tattoo on Monday, January 16, 2017

Soon, messages poured in from all over the country and world. There were thousands and thousands of people trying to get rid of permanent ink that didn't reflect who they were anymore.

This man's gang tattoo became a rose. Photo by Southside Tattoo, used with permission.

Southside Tattoo is now completely booked with cover-ups, and Beth has been working with other parlors around the country to help people outside the Baltimore area.

They've even begun setting up a nonprofit to help pay for the work. Beth says some of the funds they've raised go toward helping people in more remote areas travel to somewhere they can have the work done properly and safely.

His arms said "white" and "power." Beth and Dave covered up the "white." Photo by Southside Tattoo, used with permission.

Beth says everyone she works with has a different story, but they all have one thing in common: They're trying to build a better life.

Along with gang tattoos, "I am seeing so many swastikas, Aryan Brotherhood, things like that," Beth says. Some get inked up in prison to fit in, for safety. Others are just trying to leave their old ways behind.

Either way, Beth and her husband are happy to help.

"The beautiful thing is I know I did something good for somebody," she says. "And they're going to leave here and they're going to do something nice for somebody else."

Together, Beth and Dave are helping people prove it's never too late to change. And that's a message we all need to hear right now.

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This photographer fights outdated norms with beautiful portraits of modern moms.

As a young mom, Celia Sanchez felt like an outsider.

Sanchez, who became a mom 11 years ago at age 23, had many run-ins with fellow parents that she won't soon forget.

"When I would take my children to day care, I felt kind of ... like I didn't look like the other moms," Sanchez said. "They were much older than me. I just felt kind of separated from them. I would get a lot of 'Oh you're so young to be a mom,' 'You don't really look like a mom,' and I always thought that was a silly thing to say: 'Oh you don't look like a mom.'"

Driven by her own brushes with judgment, Sanchez reached out to friends and strangers for a powerful portrait project.

"I'm not a woman of words," said Sanchez, a portrait photographer. "I like to show people."

Sanchez's photo series "Devoted" features "non-typical" mothers and their children.

With their body art, bold hair, and amazing clothes, these women don't seem like "typical moms" at first glance. And that's the point.

For the past three years, Sanchez has shot portraits of these women alone and with their children. She hopes the juxtaposition will encourage people to reconsider their first impressions.

Photo by Celia Sanchez, used with permission.

"I knew mothers who didn't look like a 'typical mom,' and I always wanted to photograph them and feature them and show that you don't have to look a certain way to be a mom," she said.

Photo by Celia Sanchez, used with permission.

Many of these moms have tattoos, which are still considered taboo in a lot of communities.

By the numbers, though, tattoos are fairly common, even for parents.

Photo by Celia Sanchez, used with permission.

According to a 2015 Harris poll, nearly half (47%) of millennials and more than a third (36%) of Gen Xers surveyed reported having a tattoo. And respondents with children were nearly twice as likely to have a tattoo as those without children (43% vs. 21%).

Photo by Celia Sanchez, used with permission.

Even as tattoos and parents with tattoos become more commonplace, many parents still feel judged for their appearance.

Brian Poole and his wife, Meg, run Parents With Tattoos, one of several Facebook communities on the topic. Admittedly, Poole says his run-ins with those critical of his body art aren't as bad as many would assume, but they definitely happen.

Photo by Celia Sanchez, used with permission.

"I don't get a lot of comments, but I get a lot of snide looks. You can definitely tell people from their body language, the way that they look at you," he says.

The prejudice has also led to more serious consequences for Poole and his family.  

"We've actually been, me and my wife, have actually been turned down from renting houses. ... And it's like, 'Come on. It's 2016. I would think we'd move past that.'"

But we haven't. That's why projects like "Devoted" are so important.

Photo by Celia Sanchez, used with permission.

Not all parents look the same. And they shouldn't have to.

Three years in, Sanchez continues to work on "Devoted" not just for herself, but to celebrate and champion these strong, beautiful mothers.

Photo by Celia Sanchez, used with permission.

"I just wanted to show women — mothers — who weren't ... sacrificing their personal style," Sanchez says. "Being a mom, you get lost in your children and I really love the fact that these women didn't lose themselves. They didn't lose their identities. They're still themselves. They're still great parents."

Photos by Celia Sanchez, used with permission.

Raising kids is hard enough without prejudice and judgment. Next time you see a mom or dad who doesn't fit your idea of a parent, Sanchez hopes you'll check yourself. Because if it takes a village to rise a child, everyone who loves and cares about that child is welcome.

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