Writer Joel L. Daniels shares his powerful story of how the Suicide Prevention Lifeline saved his life

The United States' suicide rate was at its highest since World War II before the COVID-19 pandemic hit. Lawmakers and health experts worry that the intense economic and social pressures that have resulted from the pandemic will exacerbate this problem even further.
One of the most effective ways that people suffering from suicidal ideation and psychological distress can get immediate help is by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255). This call center provides free, confidential emotional support form trained experts and volunteers.
It's an easy way to get help without having to wait. Ninety-seven percent of all calls are picked up within 75 seconds of the initial phone greeting.
Every year, the lifeline helps over a million people, 25% of whom are in suicidal distress. Author Joel L. Daniels is one of the lifeline's many success stories. His experience saved his life, so he's created a video to let people know how it can save theirs, too.
Instead Of Killing Myself, I Called A Suicide Hotlinewww.youtube.com
"I don't use that phrase like it saved my life, um gingerly, but I mean that suicide hotline phone call, it saved my life," Daniels says in the video.
Daniels was riding the bus in New York City when he began to feel "crazy." He was in a panic, wanted to take his clothes off, jump off the bus, and was seriously considering harming himself.
He reached out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and immediately felt "affirmed" by his counselor.
"I just felt overwhelmed and busy between work, between life, between fatherhood, between not really knowing what I was doing and in that moment it felt like it was going to be easier to not be here," he says.
The counselor listened to Daniels without judgment and told him he was going to be okay.
via Unsplash
"Listening without judgement, without bias, without prejudice," he continued. "That suicide hotline phone calls saved my life and I wish I could remember the sister's name, who I spoke to because she was so warm. She was so loving. She was so comforting. She sounded like a black auntie."
The counselor allowed Daniels space to vent which was exactly what he needed.
"It was less questions and more affirming," he continued. "It was just something I needed and I don't know if anybody else does because there's that level of shame you feel essentially when you're trying to tell a person that you care about that I essentially want to harm myself because then it's very easy, unfortunately, for people who do know you to start blaming themselves."
He says he was able to make it through the episode because he was given the opportunity to speak his mind without worring about bias, fear, or judgment. The "the suicide hotline did that for me for sure," he says.
Daniels is grateful that he was given the space to clear his mind during a traumatic episode and hopes that others in the same situation will take advantage of the opportunity the lifeline provides as well.
"I feel like it's kind of my duty to kind of share that with other people," he concludes the video.
If you are experiencing a suicidal crisis or emotional distress, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides 24/7 free and confidential emotional support at 1-800-273-8255 (Veterans, press 1).
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.