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'Like old children's books': Woman offers passionate defense of 'cluttered' homes

"What if clutter wasn't chaotic, but charming, intentional, and storytelling?"

Real Vintage Dolls House/YouTube

Hanna of Real Vintage Dolls House explains why minimalism isn't the answer to overconsumption.

There's no question that we live in an age of overconsumption. We're able to have a limitless number of things shipped to our doorstep with a click of a button. We are marketed to constantly, with items targeted to our preferences and buying habits. Even when we try to keep our belongings under control, stuff just seems to accumulate, creating a constant purging process that drains our time and energy.

One reaction to overconsumption has been a modern push for minimalism. Clean surfaces, sparse decor—the antithesis of the clutter that inevitably creeps into our lives—has become a homemaking goal for many people. As a result, we have a popular aesthetic of homes that feel like museums or hotels—beautiful and serene, but lacking in character and personality.

minimalism, clean home, simple design, no clutter, clutter-free The modern home aesthetic is entirely free of clutter. Photo credit: Canva

Some people genuinely prefer that style. But one woman is offering a different perspective on "clutter" that has some people feeling seen. Hannah of Real Vintage Dolls House shares how a blog post she came across—"Basing My Life on Scenes from Children's Books" by Jo—spoke to her heart as a person who loves what Jo refers to as "good mess."

"A huge part of the inspiration for this particular blog post was the Brambly Hedge books by Jill Barkham," Hannah says, "And it got me thinking about how children's books used to feel. You know, the Beatrix Potters, the classic Paddington Bear books, The Adventures of Tintin, Wind in the Willows, Winnie the Pooh, Rupert Bear, Milly, Molly, and Mandy. And yes, I have noticed an overarching theme here. Animals living in dens designed like our grandmother's living room."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Clutter that consists of actual trash, genuine junk, or things that belong elsewhere is one thing, but "aesthetically cluttered, lived-in, cozy" homes that feel like Grandma's house are another.

"Today, a lot of spaces seem to prioritize neatness, efficiency, and clean," says Hannah. "Whereas these examples, as Jo expresses, are art. Jo, like me, says that she doesn't actually mind a good dollop of healthy disorder, and she calls it 'good mess,' which is something that I really, really like. A space that reflects all the little idiosyncrasies of being human."

While Hannah says she delights in imperfection, she is also clear that not all mess is good and that there's something to be said for tidiness.

hoarding, clutter, decluttering, minimalism No one wants to live with so much stuff there's no room for living, of course. Giphy GIF by 60 Second Docs

"I enjoy things having their place," she says. "Honestly, I do. And I do not want to be someone that jam-packs their home to the point where there is no space for calm or serenity. But I will also not do away with my shelf of old books slotted snugly into my mahogany dresser simply because a Kindle can hold them all digitally."

It's true. Modern technology eliminates the need for many physical items, from books to paper to framed photos. But just because we can do something doesn't mean we should, and some people are drawn to a more analog existence. A low-tech life often means more single-purpose items, and Hannah embraces that.

"I guess that does make me a maximalist," she says. "But what it doesn't make me is materialistic because this lifestyle that I'm trying to achieve also brandishes things like sustainability, skills set, craftsmanship, frugality, and the art of doing."

"Clutter is not bad," she continues. "And minimalism isn't the answer. Although not a bad thing in and of itself, that is not the saint and clutter is not the demon. And I also want to make clear that I am not demonizing anybody that embraces minimalism and rejects clutter. My inner joy comes from my home's overall aesthetic appeal."

For her, that means the charm of being surrounded by used and useful things.

"Perhaps the answer really does lie in how we use our homes," says Hannah. "I mean, let's face it, Grandma's house was a workshop, not an exhibition space. And I'm paraphrasing Jo again there, but what a great little analogy. You know, my home is not a show home. It's a lived in home. It's a work in progress. I'm a work in progress, and my home reflects that."

Hannah quotes Jo's post as a perfect summary of her own thoughts:

"We live in a world where the acquisition of things is disastrously easy, and naturally there has been a backlash against this physical clutter, by making Things the enemy to be gotten rid of completely in order to be spiritually pure. But Things aren't the enemy. The means of production of Things is the enemy. We can have Things and make them and use tools to make them and create beauty all around us if we do it slowly, carefully, thoughtfully, and on a small scale. We can turn our houses back into hubs of creativity instead of being black holes of consumption."

Fellow lovers of the old children's book home aesthetic chimed in with their support:

"It is lovely to listen to someone who thinks like me. I do not fit in the modern world."

"My home is not a show home…it’s a work in progress.” You have articulated my undiagnosed aesthetic. Thank you!"

"An adult will see chaos. A child will see "treasures". I'm an old lady now but when I would visit either of my grandmothers in the late 1950's I would be fascinated by their lovely and one-of-a-kind belongings. And each item had a story. Everything was clean and their homes smelled like sunshine and baked bread. It was like walking into a storybook."

Sky Reading GIF by Foo Fighters Giphy

"I never realized I was trying to crawl inside a children's book. The decorating and clutter and creating 'things.' But thinking about it, I can draw multiple images from the abyss. All from children's books. And exactly how I want my space to look and feel."

"Being a maximalist brings me so much joy. So many people nowadays design their homes for the next owners and I just find that depressing, I just can't relax in homes that look like a waiting room. My goal for my space is for there to be something cool/weird/interesting no matter where you look, and so far everyone who's come over has absolutely loved my house."

"Finally, a video that’s 100% me. I hate minimalism. I love cluttered spaces. Not mess, but lots of knick knacks organised neatly. I love mismatched furniture and decor. In my opinion, it makes a home feel homey and welcoming."

If minimalism is your jam, more power to you. But if you find it doesn't speak to you at all, perhaps embrace the charm of creative clutter and tell people your goal is to live in a cozy children's book.

You can follow Real Vintage Dolls House on YouTube for more nostlgia-triggering content.

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In a world with too much stuff, we need to rethink the idea of 'sentimental value'

Things aren't memories.

Photo credit: Canva

Most of us have way too much stuff to be holding on things purely for sentimental reasons.

My friend's grandmother was in her 90s when she died, leaving behind a beautiful extended family, a lovely life legacy and boxes upon boxes of things nobody wanted or had any use for. Grams loved to travel and had souvenirs from various places. She kept decades of greeting cards and knicknacks she'd collected. As family members went through her belongings, they kept a few things here and there—a piece of jewelry, a recipe box, a silver serving spoon.

Most of her furniture, clothing and other useful things were sold or given away, but most of her personal items—old albums, mementos, etc.—ended up being thrown away. It was a good lesson for all of us.

The things we keep for "sentimental value" often have the least value to anyone else.

No one, family or stranger alike, wants hundreds of photos of people they don't know and memories that aren't theirs. No one wants a keepsake figurine from a trip they didn't go on with a date that means nothing to them. The things that hold sentimental value for one person are meaningless to everyone else, and the more our lives become saturated with "stuff," the more we are in danger of holding onto too many things because of the memories or meaning we attach to them.

We see it when we try to declutter our homes and have a hard time because of the "sentimental value" of certain things. Parents hesitate when it's time to purge the baby stuff, as all those adorable items remind us of when our kids were little. It happens when we hold onto the hat we bought at Disneyland even though we never ever wear it because it reminds us of our awesome family vacation. The china we inherited that we never eat off of, the plaque we got for outstanding achievement, the favorite book that's falling apart—all of that stuff we keep because "It's a memory!" accumulates.

via GIPHY

The problem is that eventually other people have to deal with our stuff.

If people want to collect mementos and keepsakes and hold onto everything anyone ever gives them, that's their right, of course. Some people are more sentimental and nostalgic than others and some people place more meaning on things than others. We can philosophize all day about whether and to what degree people should be detached from material things, but the reality is that every person has their own relationship to stuff that they have to navigate emotionally.

What is universal, though, is that someone will have to deal with our stuff when we die, and the more stuff we have, the more work we end up placing on their shoulders. Going through someone's belongings takes time and prompts a million decisions, which quickly becomes overwhelming. It's even harder when a lot of those belongings clearly meant something to them but mean nothing to anyone else.

via GIPHY

It didn't used to be like this, at least not to this level. Average people didn't used to have so many belongings they had to pay for spaces to store it all. We are inundated with stuff, and the more things we attach sentimental value to the more in danger we are of leaving way too much for our loved ones to sort through.

Things aren't memories. They are only memory triggers.

Our memories live in our minds, not in material things. All sentimental items do is trigger our memories, but we don't need physical items to keep our memories alive. So the question is, how do we keep the triggers without keeping all the things?

Photos are some of the best memory triggers, and in the digital age, it's easier than ever to utilize them. If there is an item you're having a hard time parting with for sentimental reasons, take a photo of it and keep it in a "Mementos" folder. A photo of something isn't exactly the same as the real thing, but it can fulfill the same purpose. Sentimental value is all about memories, and seeing the thing in a photo will still trigger those.

I'm not suggesting people never hold onto anything at all for sentimental reasons, but most things we keep as keepsakes don't really need to be kept. It's the memories we treasure, not the items that trigger the memories, so unless a thing has some actual tangible value or some sort of genuine sensory element that would be lost in a photo, take a snapshot and let go of the thing itself.

The more we can disconnect our memories from our physical things—or at least find ways to document those sentimental value items that trigger memories instead of holding onto them—the less overwhelming our living spaces will be for us in the now and the less burden we'll leave for others in the future.

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Screw your 'to-do list,' psychologist suggests 'to-don't' lists can be just as helpful

Embrace the freedom that comes with being realistic.

via Canva

A woman writing her to-don't list.

There are never enough hours in the day to get everything done. Even if there were, who’d have enough energy to do it? Most people spend their days caring for their family and trying to earn a living and by the end of the day, there isn’t enough time to spend on themselves.

On top of that, if you’re living in most of the developed world, hustle culture also suggests you have a hobby that you’re trying to turn into a career. There’s also the pressure to spend a few hours a week volunteering at your kid's school while having a regular workout routine and ensuring you drink 64 ounces of water before lunchtime.

It can all be ridiculous. That’s why therapists suggest that in addition to writing to-do lists every morning, we should write “to don’t” lists to ensure that we aren’t wasting our time and energy on things that don’t matter.

Dr. Amantha Imber, an organizational psychologist, recently told ABC News that the cult of hyper-productivity can be “flawed.”

"It leads to feelings of guilt, exhaustion and burnout, because, essentially, time is finite. Yet, we're always adding more things to our to-do list in the hope that it will get us ahead," Dr. Imber says. "The purpose of a to-don't list is to reflect on habits you want to break or things you want to do differently.”

to-do list, to-don't list, productivityA man writing a list.via Ivan Samkov/Pexels

How to write a to-don't list

Dr. Imber suggests that we examine the tasks we can stop doing and put them on our to-don’t list. Examples include overcommitting to social engagements, needing to do chores while working from home, or packing your kid an elaborate lunch in the morning when what they’re serving in the school cafeteria is fine.

The key is to be realistic about the amount of time and energy that you have.

It’s also essential to think about the daily habits that prevent you from getting everything done, such as scrolling through TikTok, going to a coffee shop instead of brewing it at home, taking unnecessary meetings and responding to emails that aren’t a top priority. "It's hip to focus on getting things done, but it's only possible once we remove the constant static and distraction. If you have trouble deciding what to do, just focus on not doing," Tim Ferriss, author of “The 4-Hour Work Week,” said, according to Mindjournals.

If the average person removed one social media app from their phone, they could probably develop a life-changing meditation habit.

to-do list, to don't-list, productivityA woman writing a list.via Thirdman/Pexels

How to write a successful list

The key to success with your to-don’t list is to write it down. A study by Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at Dominican University in California, found that you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. That works even if your goal is not to do something.

Here’s an example of a to-don’t list:

1. No social media until lunchtime

2. Get my kid velcro shoes (no tying, no knots)

3. Don’t respond to memes sent by friends until after work

4. Worry about the news when you are done with work

5. No playing games on the phone

6. Say no to meetings that could be emails

7. Make coffee at home instead of going to the drive-thru

8. Go out to lunch with the co-worker who is an energy vampire

9. Don't worry about the kid being late to soccer practice

10. Don't to everything

11. Plan a dinner that needs to be marinated during the day

The cool thing is that once you commit to a to-don’t list, you will quickly begin to notice all the things you would love to eliminate from your day so you can make more room for the things that make you happy.





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5 hacks for deep cleaning your house with the least amount of effort

A few simple adjustments can make cleaning less of a chore.

Photo by Katie Pearse on Unsplash

Cleaning doesn't have to be a dreaded chore.

There are some people who actually enjoy cleaning, but it’s fairly safe to say that most people don’t. Most of us like things to be clean, but we don’t necessarily like the actual cleaning part it takes to get there.

Not everyone can afford to hire professional cleaners, so we’re stuck doing the cleaning chores ourselves—the normal everyday housekeeping as well as the seasonal/occasional deep clean. Some of us were trained by our families to do it, while other people have to learn on their own.

For the latter folks, crowdsourcing some tips for making the cleaning process go more smoothly with less effort is a great way to make it less daunting. Someone on Reddit asked people to share their best hacks when deep cleaning the house, and more than 1,000 responses yielded some best practices worth trying out.

Here are people’s most popular cleaning hacks:

Declutter, declutter, declutter

The more stuff you have to clean, the more cleaning you have to do. That may sound obvious, but it’s not something we necessarily think about when we’re looking at our belongings we’ve either become attached to or have mindlessly collected over the years.

So the first step in deep cleaning is to get rid of things we don’t actually use or want anymore. You don’t have to become a total minimalist, but less is more when it comes to keeping a space clean.

“Declutter, declutter, declutter. Having fewer things to collect dust makes general cleaning so much easier, let alone the awful stuff like vents or behind heavy appliances.” – WassupSassySquatch

“Definitely. I realised when I treated us to a one off cleaner after 4 years of having kids that I spent the whole day prior decluttering and tidying so they could clean most efficiently. Well, if it was always that tidy or empty we could deep clean every week without overwhelm. So, it's the stuff. Moving the stuff before you can even clean.” – aga8833

Carry Hefty bags as you go

As an addendum to the "declutter" advice, have bags on hand for donating and for throwing away. Be ruthless about your belongings. Most people have too much stuff and hold onto things they'll never use because they think they might someday or because they don't feel like it's worth throwing away. If you don't have bags to put them in, you definitely won't move past those lines of thinking, so keep them with you as you clean and use them liberally.

"Lots of hefty bags and don’t be precious- throw it all away/ donate it." – trou_bucket_list

"Don't hold on to junk that you never use, because you don't want to create waste by throwing it out. It's already waste, it just lives in your house instead of a landfill. Donate it if you can, sure, but sometimes it's easier to just throw it away and give yourself grace for it." – happypolychaetes

One room at a time, from the top down

Cleaning one room at a time breaks the whole house into smaller parts, which makes it seem less overwhelming. And starting from the top down means you clean any dust or debris that falls as you go, ending with the floor so nothing gets left behind.

“Top down. One room at a time. Pace yourself.” – Straight_Calendar_15

“If you clean the counters first, you don’t have to worry about messing up the floor since you’re saving it for the end. If you clean the floor first, you could end up dirtying it again as you clean the counters.” – o_in25

Wear a headlamp

Headlamps aren’t just for camping or spelunking—they can be super handy for cleaning as well. Even in a lit room, there are nooks and crannies in bookshelves and corners where you can’t see dirt, dust or cobwebs unless you shine a light on them.

Why bother if you can’t see it normally anyway? Because dust can create a mild, stale odor that keeps your house from smelling fresh. This hack may not save you time or energy, but it will make the end result far more satisfying.

“Clean wearing a head torch - if it looks good under such good light, it'll look sh*t hot under normal lighting. It's great for finding cobwebs on walls / ceilings too as they throw an obvious shadow.” – Dougalface

“I’ve done this while cleaning inside my car. I kept cleaning and cleaning and it still looked dusty and awful so I gave up. When I came back the next day under normal lighting it looked brand new again.” – Potatobender44

Pump up the jams…or ‘Hoarders’

Yes, cleaning is a chore but that doesn't mean it can't be fun and energizing. Turning on some of your favorite music, whether that's upbeat dance tunes, powerful symphonies or fun fiddle music, can make cleaning a whole lot more enjoyable. Turn it up loud to drown out any grumbling thoughts and get moving.

Alternatively, put on episodes of the television show “Hoarders,” which can be a great motivator, especially during the decluttering part.

“Listen to music while you do it (earbuds or headphones while vacuuming).” – SRB112

“This is a little strange but I like to put on runway show music in the background when I clean, usually its super long and kinda questionable energetic music so you can do 25 minutes of cleaning and feel like a supermodel all in one. (balenciaga has some good soundtracks imo love or hate the brand)” – NickyThePerson

“I play a hoarders marathon in the background while cleaning…” – Last_Sundae_6894

“Put Hoarders on the TV while you clean. I stg within 10 minutes I'm ready to throw everything away.” – Halbbitter

Happy cleaning, everyone!

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