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20-year-old nomad who lives in a van shares how she lives the good life while staying safe

Here's some tips for giving it all up and living on the road.

via Abigail Martin / TikTok

Abigail Martin shares what life is like living in a van.

Do you ever fantasize about quitting your job, moving out of your place, and living life on the road? Seems impossible, right? How do you make money? How do you stay safe? How do you survive without all of the creature comforts you're accustomed to?

Abigail Martin, a 20-year-old photographer and social media influencer, has taken that giant leap into the unknown by buying a conversion van and taking it on the road. On her TikTok page, she shows people what nomadic life is like and how anyone can join her. It all started when she was in high school and started watching #VanLife videos online. By the time she graduated, she had no interest in going to college or joining the rat race.

So she worked four jobs until she saved up $18,000 to purchase a 2017 Ford Transit with 54,000 miles on it. It cost an extra $10,000 to install a bed, a kitchen, and to set up the electrical. "In the morning, I would work at a coffee shop from 6 a.m. to noon, then I would walk across the street to a boutique from noon to 6 p.m," she told The New York Times. "Then I'd go waitress at a restaurant from 6 p.m. until closing. On off-days, I was running my own photography business."

Abigail bought her van during the height of lockdowns and used her TikTok page to connect with people when we were all forced to stay apart. Now, her page has over 730,000 followers, and her videos have 18.3 million likes.

If you've ever dreamed of dropping out and living life on the road, here are a few videos we've selected from Abigail's page to get you started.

How does the electricity work?

@abigailmartiin

How i have electricity in my van!! #vanlife #fyp #climber #washingtoncheck #vanconversion #foryoupage #vanbuild #outdoors #travel #hiking


How does she use the restroom?

@abigailmartiin

How i go potty 🕺🏼 #vanlife #vanconversion #fyp #adventure #travel #toilet #camping #foryou


How does she shower?

@abigailmartiin

see i’m not a dirtbag 100% of the time ;) #vanlife #fyp #caravanning #vanbuild #solofemaletraveler #camping #adventure #travel


How does she make money?


@abigailmartiin

Reply to @ihave.6babydaddies i do work & heres how! #vanlife #buslife #travel #fyp #solofemaletravler #photographer #adventure #camping


How does she stay safe?

@abigailmartiin

Reply to @whyamisigningupforthis How i stay safe! #vanlife #vanbuild #solofemaletraveler #solofemalevanlife #outdoors #travel #fyp

How to identify a sketchy campsite.

@abigailmartiin

fun times as a solo female :))) #vanlife #solofemalevanlife #adventuredog #fyp #travel #pnw

What's her morning routine like?

@abigailmartiin

a morning in a van. #vanlife #fyp #travel #camping #vanconversion #solofemaletraveler #adventure #foryou #morningroutine #breakfast #coffee

Abigail shares her greatest realization.


@abigailmartiin

here’s your daily existential crisis :) go live yo life #motivational #fyp #vanlife #travel #adventure #inspirational #solofemaletraveler

"I think my greatest realization in life, one of the most freeing thoughts is that nobody gives a f**k what you're doing. Literally nobody cares. Everyone is too wrapped up in their own problems, their own achievements, their own goals, their own selves to give a f**k what you're doing," Abigail shares as her greatest realization about van life. "Nobody actually cares how skinny you are or how not skinny you are. Nobody cares if you're going to college or not or if you just decide to drop off the face of the earth. Nobody actually cares. So go do what you want."

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Perceptive guy has a lightening-strike realization about why boys aren't raised to be men

We're emphasizing the wrong things.

via Canva/Photos

A man can't seem to understand his emotions.

A TikToker named Divunsolicited is catching a lot of attention for a video where he explains a big way that society is hurting both men and women by the way we are raising boys. “A harsh reality is most men are not taught to be men when they're growing up as boys,” Divunsolicited says. “They're just taught how not to be women.” The realization came after he heard his aunt tell his cousin not to do something because “that’s what girls do.”

First, telling a boy not to do something because girls do it, regardless of the behavior, is both denigrating to women and teaching children inappropriate gender stereotypes. It also begs a fundamental question: If I’m not supposed to do girly things? What’s the appropriate thing to do as a boy, who will one day be a man?

“You always hear, don't cry, that's what girls do. Oh, you throw like a girl. Oh, girls are emotional,” Divunsolicited continued. “Only girls do that. Oh, you. You care about what you look like. That's what girls do. Or you wash your face and use face lotion and. And use moisturizer. That's what girls do.”

@adivunsolicited

most boys are raised how not to be girls but never really taught how to be men, there's so much discovery and figuring out how to manage your emotions, how to express yourself and how to become a good man #blacktiktok #parentsoftiktok #millennial #raisingboys #explorer #fypシ゚viral

He goes on to make the point that because there is such a stigma for boys who behave in a feminine way, it leaves them emotionally stunted as men because they aren’t allowed to show their emotions. “So what happens is, I think men become these repressed adults that become irrationally emotional until they act out,” Divunsolicited says. "And that's when you get fist fights, that's when you get men punching the wall. That's when you get men crashing out.”

Psychologists agree that when men can't express their emotions in a healthy way, they experience a "covert depression" that manifests as apathy, boredom, cynicism, and a limited range of emotions.

How to teach positive masculine traits

So, what are some positive, positive masculine characteristics that we should be teaching young boys? A group of researchers created a framework for teaching school-age boys positive masculine traits, and they came up with these 3 ways to “be”:

Being connected — To the self and others, forming interpersonal relationships based on respect, open communication, and non-violence.
Being motivated — Intrinsic motivation to engage with and contribute effectively to society beyond social pressures.
Being authentic — Comfort in enacting commitment to one’s values. Capacity to adopt flexibility around the emotional restriction and stoicism in help-seeking.

fathers and sons, positive masculinty, soccerA father and son watching a soccer match. via Canva/Photos

“From this mindset, we have courage, confidence, and the flexibility to hear others and even learn that we might be wrong,” Nick Norman, LICSW, writes for Psychology Today. “Our worth is no longer on trial, constantly measured against a suffocating definition of manhood. Instead, we are grounded within ourselves and can approach the world from a place of integrity and compassion, both for others and ourselves.”

Divunsolicited understands that many men were taught the wrong way to express their feelings as children. Still, he believes that things are headed in the right direction because millennials are raising a generation of men who have a healthier connection to their emotions. “And I think the more men are able to have and express themselves the more they're impart that until their children,” he concludes the video.

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Finance influencer shares 'number one trick to get anything done' without procrastinating

"Task stacking: Doing something you have to do + something you enjoy doing."

via Jenny Park (used with permission) and Canva

Influencer Jenny Park and a bored woman doing chores.

A big reason many tasks don’t get done is that they are boring and seem to make time go slower than usual. Cleaning the house, doing the dishes, or folding your clothes can be a drag, so it’s easy to put them off until the last minute.

Jenny Park, a finance influencer on TikTok, has found a way to stop procrastinating: by taking advantage of the body’s ability to produce dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter.

Dopamine is part of the body’s reward center and is released when we are feeling pleasure. It floods our brain with a “rush” when we are having sex, doing drugs, shopping, scrolling through social media, or smelling cookies. It also plays a role in learning, blood vessel function and mood regulation.

Once we get a dopamine hit, we’re likely to return for more. That’s why people are easily addicted to scrolling through social media, or in extreme cases, cocaine and heroin.

Park says we can stop procrastinating over understimulating tasks by pairing them with dopamine-releasing activities.

@mohaewithjennypark

Steal this life hack and you’ll be way more productive!! #bigsisteradvice #lifetips #dopaminemenu #howtobemoreproductive #goals #productivitytips #lifeadvice #20sontiktok #adhdinwomen #adhdtips

"If there are certain mindless things around the house that I just dread doing, like putting away clothes or unloading the dishwasher, I will save certain YouTube videos or podcasts that I can only do for these specific tasks," Park explains in the video. "I'll listen to the podcast and then mindlessly do the task and it makes the time go by so much faster, then I'm tricking myself into getting dopamine from this task."

Park is right that podcasting can make mundane tasks more pleasurable. When people listen to long-form conversations that require deep engagement, their brains release dopamine, which makes them want to seek out more podcasts. So, when people say podcasts are addictive, they are correct.

"Steal this life hack and you'll be way more productive!" Park captioned her video.

The video was a big hit on TikTok, earning over 30,000 views. Park’s followers in the comments shared how they use the dopamine trick to accomplish things they don’t want to do.

“Task stacking: Doing something you have to do + something you enjoy doing,” Samantha wrote. “This is how I trained for a half marathon. I was only allowed to watch ‘New Girl’ on the treadmill and it works!” Maiden added.

This is how I get myself on the treadmill, lol,” Cait wrote. “I’ve been saving shows to only watch when I’m at the gym and it makes it fly by and makes me go in the first place.”



For Park, getting things done is all about creating the perfect space for herself to be effective, whether listening to a podcast she loves while doing something mundane or altering the timeframe for a task.

“I definitely used to struggle with procrastination until I stopped seeing it as a character flaw,” she told Upworthy. “For bigger tasks like work, I now just know that I do my best work in a tight time frame. So I will intentionally try to create that environment and not feel stressed. Or, I’ll find ways to get dopamine while still being productive. These days, I’m way more productive and less stressed.”

The bottom line on Park’s hack is that everyone works differently, and it’s okay for you to find your own way to accomplish a task, whether that means listening to a podcast or watching an episode of “Friends” while you’re doing it. Altering the time frame can also mean giving yourself a sense of urgency, as in Park's case. The key is to find what works for you and to run with it.

Follow Jenny Park on TikTok here.

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Mom admits parenting can be 'deeply unsatisfying,’ and other moms are happy someone finally said it

“I'm saying this out loud because I don't think we talked about it enough."

via Celeste Yvonne (used with permission)

Celeste Yvonne admits that motherhood can be "deeply unsatisfying."

Parenting is often sold to child-free people as the most satisfying experience one could have in life. It’s supposed to provide them with a greater sense of meaning because after becoming a parent, every day is filled with little miracles.

Many parenting influencers, with their picture-perfect lives, obedient children and immaculate houses, will have you believe the same thing.

However, reality is a lot different. The problem is that it’s taboo for parents to admit that raising children can be boring, repetitive, stressful, agonizing, and unfulfilling. So many parents who feel this way think that they’re the problem and in the minority, when many of them feel exactly the same way.

These parents are applauding Celeste Yvonne’s recent TikTok video, in which she admits that parenting can be “deeply unsatisfying.” Yvonne is an award-winning writer, sobriety coach and bestselling author of “It’s Not About the Wine: The Loaded Truth Behind Mommy Wine Culture.”

@theultimatemomchallenge

Don’t mistake my words for being ungrateful. There is a huge difference between gratitude and satisfaction. #motherhood #momlife

“Okay, here's my hot take, so don't come at me. But for the most part, motherhood is deeply unsatisfying. And we don't talk about it enough,” she opens the video. “I love being a mom and I love my kids dearly, but 90% of my role as mother is not satisfying.”

Yvonne admits that being a mother is often thankless and repetitive.

“It is the nitty gritty. It is getting kids to clean up after messes. It is reminding kids to wash their hands. It is convincing kids to eat the meals I make. I mean, it is a lot of work. So much work. And in and of itself, that part is not satisfying,” she said in a video with over 200,000 views.

“I do not go to bed most nights feeling satisfied in my role as mother. If anything, I go to be with intrusive thoughts, worrying about their future, feeling like I didn’t do a good enough job,” she continues.

She finishes her video by asking more moms to follow her lead by discussing the sensitive topic.

“I'm saying this out loud because I don't think we talked about it enough,” she explained. “For a long time, I felt like I was doing it wrong because I saw other people, other moms on social media, beaming and glowing about the milestones, talking about how satisfying this role is, and wondering if I was doing it wrong. The truth is we just don't talk about the unsatisfying parts. And I think we should.”

The video made many moms feel seen. “I wish more women (mothers) were honest about this like you are,” one commenter wrote. “Moms need to talk about this more—I love my kids more than anything—but I do not enjoy being a mom,” another added.

@theultimatemomchallenge

Replying to @nokechic07 to be clear, this is not a Ballerina Farm problem. This is a me problem. But it’s also an us problem. And until we have better support systems in place for mothers in the US and everywhere else that needs it, I’m going to keep talking about it. #ballerinafarm #momlife #fedup #fairplay

Upworthy asked Yvonne why she thinks her video resonates with so many parents. “Motherhood is a complicated, nuanced topic, but for the most part, we only hear and see the highlight reel,” she told Upworthy. “The majority of my days in motherhood do not look or feel anything like what I see on social media, and by openly admitting to that, I hope I help other mothers feel seen and validated.”

The writer has no problem sharing her thoughts on such a touchy subject because there are people who need to hear them. “I used to be afraid of sharing the full truth on social media because people can be so mean, but I feel confident in my role as mother and trolls or angry comments don't affect me like they used to. I keep sharing because of the moms who reach out and say I help them feel less alone,” she told Upworthy.

In the end, it’s all about being there for others. “In recovery, we talk a lot about the importance of sharing our stories so others feel seen, and if I can be that beacon for anyone struggling with motherhood, addiction, or mental health matters, I will try!” Yvonne said.

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