Procrastinator? Me too. These 5 tips really helped me get to work.

Let’s get this out of the way: I’m a procrastinator. It’s likely you are too. There’s nothing I enjoy more than writing — OK, sleeping is a close second — but when I open a new Word document to type out a story, I immediately begin to think about things that I would much rather…

Mark Shrayber

Mar 30, 2018

Let’s get this out of the way: I’m a procrastinator. It’s likely you are too.

There’s nothing I enjoy more than writing — OK, sleeping is a close second — but when I open a new Word document to type out a story, I immediately begin to think about things that I would much rather be doing right now. You know, like washing every dish in the house or seeing just how many YouTube videos I can watch in an hour.

Don’t worry, we’re not alone:

I am binge watching Riverdale to avoid chores and writing and am being bombarded with secret agent teenagers being more productive contributors to society than I. This is not good procrastination tv— hotpot dasani (@raesanni) March 18, 2018

https://twitter.com/Eden_Eats/status/976878516456382464

https://twitter.com/BarbiHoneycutt/status/976836139872145409

https://twitter.com/HeatherMatarazz/status/973594236112089088

https://twitter.com/sophiebushwick/status/979098067608752130

If you need more evidence that so many of us (20% of people worldwide are “true procrastinators”) are putting off the things we could be doing until tomorrow — “a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation, and achievement is stored” — you need to check out this video that’s going viral.

It’s a lecture by professor and procrastination researcher Timothy Pychyl. The video was originally shot in 2012, but you won’t be surprised to learn that not much has changed for all us procrastinators out there.

Check it out if you’re looking to understand and change some of your procrastination behaviors.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=mhFQA998WiA

Ah, you’ve scrolled past the video, just as I suspected you would. My guess is that your first thought was “This video is 58 minutes long!” and your second thought was “I’ll definitely watch this over the weekend.” Or maybe, like one Redditor, you’ve saved it to watch at 3 a.m. when “all other options have been exhausted.”

https://twitter.com/DylanReeve/status/979137346917421056

You know how I know? I’ve done this, too. So how do you break the cycle? And why should breaking it even matter? Well, here are five procrastination facts to seriously convince you to change your habits, gleaned from personal experience and boiled down from those 58 minutes I watched on your behalf.

1. Procrastination isn’t ever actually fun.

Think back to the last time you procrastinated. Did you have a good time? Maybe a little, because it feels good to give in to avoiding something — at least at first. It’s probable, though, as you watched a movie or baked cookies or scrolled social media and checked your email for the umpteenth time that you also felt guilty. And that’s because you know you were putting off something that could have and should have been done right now.

And if we’re being really honest, Pychyl points out in the video, behaviors we perform while procrastinating are often “moral in nature” — like cooking and cleaning. It’s a way of assuaging some of our guilt for choosing to leave the taxes for another day (even though the deadline is looming).

[rebelmouse-image 19534281 dam=1 original_size=”500×359″ caption=”GIF from “SpongeBob SquarePants.”” expand=1]

As my thesis advisor once told me as I made another excuse for not having a part of my draft finished, “You’re turning a little discomfort now into a lot of suffering later.” She was right.

Sure, my house had never been cleaner (to the delight of my husband), but I also had to suffer the pain of writing a 40-page paper in less than two weeks. Not something I recommend.

2. Procrastination can have devastating effects.

One lie we tell ourselves when we procrastinate, Pychyl says, is that we do much better under pressure. Of course, that’s not at all true. In the video, Pychyl says that those who procrastinate tend to make more errors. And that leads to poorer quality work. (Research supports this.)

That’s not all, though. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but new findings show that chronic procrastination can lead to a host of health problems because putting important things off causes stress, making you vulnerable to headaches, insomnia, and even hypertension or cardiovascular disease.

[rebelmouse-image 19534283 dam=1 original_size=”480×366″ caption=”GIF from “The Simpsons.”” expand=1]

People who procrastinate, Pychyl warns, also have a harder time eating well, exercising, and taking care of themselves otherwise. That’s because, as he puts it, procrastination isn’t a time-management issue (so that planner isn’t going to help you on its own) but an existential one. You procrastinate to (unconsciously) avoid getting on with life.

3. Before you stop procrastinating, you have to realize you won’t accomplish this goal overnight.

If you’ve ever tried to achieve a goal — or several — at one time, you know what happens. You’ll start off strong, promising yourself that this is when you’ll really start kicking butt and taking names. And suddenly you’re exhausted and don’t know if you have the strength to carry on.

That’s actually not uncommon. While most of us view self-control as limitless, the reality is that it’s more like a muscle — building it up takes time and effort. You’re going to have to break your goal up into bite-sized pieces instead of viewing them as huge obstacles.

Whenever I’m getting ready to procrastinate (*cough* as soon as I was assigned this post *cough*), I’m reminded of this quote by Mark Twain:

“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”

What that boils down to (because boiling frogs is the healthiest way to eat them), is that if you know you’ve got something to do, try to do it as soon as possible so that it’s over with. And do the part you’re least interested in first.

[rebelmouse-image 19534284 dam=1 original_size=”480×270″ caption=”GIF from The Lonely Island/NBC.” expand=1]

Here’s another tip, this one from author James Clear: “If it takes less than two minutes, do it now.” More on that:

“Want to become a better writer? Just write one sentence (2–Minute Rule), and you’ll often find yourself writing for an hour.”

“Want to run three times a week? Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, just get your running shoes on and get out the door (2–Minute Rule), and you’ll end up putting mileage on your legs instead of popcorn in your stomach.”

4. Just the fact that you spent two minutes reading this piece means you’re on the way to ending your procrastination.

That wasn’t so bad, was it? Let’s take a moment to mark this monumental occasion with this video of a dog riding a skateboard (a perfectly beautiful and natural thing for dogs to do).

Now back to the important stuff:

As you practice not putting things off, you build up your belief in yourself. And that belief translates to a change in your habits and identity. The catch, though, is that you can’t go too fast, and you can’t put off the small steps until tomorrow or next week or the first of the month.

You’ve got to start taking care of what you’ve been putting off now. Stop and think what you can accomplish in a few minutes. Just start. Don’t think about it.

5. The most important step? Something called “implementation intention.”

You know what’s on your to-do list because it’s keeping you up at night. You promise yourself you’ll get it done first thing tomorrow, but another day has come and gone, and you’re still stuck in the same place. That’s not because you’re lazy but because, as Pychyl says, procrastination is “the gap between intention and action.”

Let’s make that even simpler: The problem isn’t that you don’t know what to do, it’s that you don’t know how to do it. The items on your list — even ones like “clean the house” or “get back to people” — are big and vague enough that you don’t know where to get started.

In the video, Pychyl says that when he asks a grad student what they’re working on and they say “my thesis,” he knows that they’re not getting any work done. Wasn’t the same true for you when you said “I’ll do my homework” rather than saying “I’ll do the problems I have for math followed by the paper I’ve got for English”?

Implementation intention, based on the work of researcher and New York University professor Peter Gollwitzer, is the idea is that you break goals down into the following formula: “In situation X, I will do behavior Y to achieve subgoal Z.” You give yourself concrete plans that don’t just include an intention but a clear plan for your action.

[rebelmouse-image 19534285 dam=1 original_size=”480×260″ caption=”GIF from “Home Alone.”” expand=1]

That turns “I’ll definitely clean the entire house on Sunday” to “On Sunday morning, I’ll do my dishes and mop the floor so that my kitchen is clean.”

It’s really as simple as that (and research shows that it works).

And if you find that you don’t feel like it? Well, Pychyl knows that you won’t. But learning to regulate your emotions is an important part of learning not to procrastinate.

“When I ask my children about feeding the fish, dogs, or horses (or any other chore, including homework), and they say, ‘I don’t feel like, I don’t want to,’ my typical response is, ‘I didn’t ask you how you felt or what you want to do. I asked you about that action,’” Pychyl writes in a blog post.

In short, recognize that “‘I don’t feel like it’ is not a reason, it’s an excuse.”

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In Partnership With Habitat For Humanity →

Homeowners celebrate the completion of their new home in Cambodia's Siem Reap Province alongside Habitat for Humanity volunteers and staff.

Culture, Family

A safe, stable home can change lives for the better. Here’s how Habitat for Humanity wants to make that possible for everyone.

Better health, better jobs, and a brighter future all start with access to a safe, affordable home.

Sarah Watts

3/25/2026
A single door can open up a world of endless possibilities. For homeowners, the front door of their house is a gateway to financial stability, job security, and better health. Yet for many, that door remains closed. Due to the rising costs of housing, 1 in 3 people around the world wake up without the security of safe, affordable housing.

Since 1976, Habitat for Humanity has made it their mission to unlock and open the door to opportunity for families everywhere, and their efforts have paid off in a big way. Through their work over the past 50 years, more than 65 million people have gained access to new or improved housing, and the movement continues to gain momentum. Since 2011 alone, Habitat for Humanity has expanded access to affordable housing by a hundredfold.

A world where everyone has access to a decent home is becoming a reality, but there’s still much to do. As they celebrate 50 years of building, Habitat for Humanity is inviting people of all backgrounds and talents to be part of what comes next through Let’s Open the Door, a global campaign that builds on this momentum and encourages people everywhere to help expand access to safe, affordable housing for those who need it most. Here’s how the foundation to a better world starts with housing, and how everyone can pitch in to make it happen.

Volunteers raise a wall for the framework of a new home during the first day of building at Habitat for Humanity’s 2025 Carter Work Project.

Globally, almost 3 billion people, including 1 in 6 U.S. families, struggle with high costs and other challenges related to housing. A crisis in itself, this also creates larger problems that affect families and communities in unexpected ways. People who lack affordable, stable housing are also more likely to experience financial hardship in other areas of their lives, since a larger share of their income often goes toward rent, utilities, and frequent moves. They are also more likely to experience health problems due to chronic stress or environmental factors, such as mold. Housing insecurity also goes hand-in-hand with unstable employment, since people may need to move further from their jobs or switch jobs altogether to offset the cost of housing.

Affordable homeownership creates a stable foundation for families to thrive, reducing stress and increasing the likelihood for good health and stable employment. Habitat for Humanity builds and repairs homes with individual families, but it also strengthens entire communities as well. The MicroBuild® Initiative, for example, strengthens communities by increasing access to loans for low-income families seeking to build or repair their homes. Habitat ReStore locations provide affordable appliances and building materials to local communities, in addition to creating job and volunteer opportunities that support neighborhood growth.

Marsha and her son pose for a photo while building their future home with Southern Crescent Habitat for Humanity in Georgia.

Everyone can play a part in the fight for housing equity and the pursuit of a better world. Over the past 50 years, Habitat for Humanity has become a leader in global housing thanks to an engaged network of volunteers—but you don’t need to be skilled with a hammer to make a meaningful impact. Building an equitable future means calling on a wide range of people and talents.

Here’s how you can get involved in the global housing movement:
- Speaking up on social media about the growing housing crisis
- Volunteering on a Habitat for Humanity build in your local community
- Travel and build with Habitat in the U.S. or in one of 60+ countries where we work around the globe
- Join the Let’s Open the Door movement and, when you donate, you can create your own personalized door
- Shop or donate at your local Habitat ReStore
Every action, big and small, drives a global movement toward a better future. A safe home unlocks opportunity for families and communities alike, but it’s volunteers and other supporters, working together with a shared vision, who can open the door for everyone.

Visit habitat.org/open-door to learn more and get involved today.
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Photo credit: via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels and Anna Shvets/Pexels – Can he be the father?

Dads, Family

Dad demands DNA test after his daughter is born with the ‘wrong’ eye and hair color

Was he right to be skeptical?

Tod Perry

Upworthy Staff

4/23/2026

The presumed father of a newborn baby was skeptical of his paternity after the baby girl was born with blonde hair and blue eyes. He and his wife of two years have brown hair and brown eyes, so he thought there was no chance it was his child.

The wife reassured her husband that they could have a blonde-haired, blue-eyed baby and that, quite often, a baby’s hair and eye color can change over time.

But the husband “freaked out at this and refused to listen,” the wife wrote in a viral post on Reddit’s AITA page. Instead, he “demanded a paternity test and threatened to divorce me if I didn’t comply, so I did.”

The husband and his family created problems when there wasn’t one

The man was so confident that after the baby was born, he moved into his mother’s house while he awaited the results of the DNA test. The wife stayed home with the baby and was helped through the first few weeks by her sister.

Couple after an argument. Photo credit: Canva

To make things worse, the wife’s mother-in-law began to make threats. “My mother-in-law called and informed me that if the paternity test revealed that the child wasn’t his, she would do anything within her power to make sure that I was ‘taken to the cleaners’ during the divorce,” the mom shared on Reddit.

Finally, three weeks after the child was born, the DNA test results arrived and the husband came home to read them with his wife. “I was on the couch in the living room, so he sat next to me and we started to read the results,” she wrote. “They showed that he was the father and my husband had this shocked, kinda mortified look on his face with his eyes wide as he stared at it.”

The wife said, “I told you so,” and laughed in his face. In the post, the wife also notes she has “zero history” of cheating.

Can two brown-eyed parents have a blue-eyed baby?

Although it is rare for two people with brown eyes and brown hair to have a blue-eyed, blonde-haired baby, it is entirely possible. According to genetics researchers, when both parents have brown eyes, the chance of having a blue-eyed baby is roughly 6%, though this can increase if blue eyes run in either family. And, as the wife noted earlier, a baby’s eye color can change over its first year of life.

Further, two people with brown hair can have a blonde-haired child if both parents carry the recessive gene for blonde hair. The blonde hair may darken over time as well.

If the father had done a quick Google search on the topic, he would have quickly realized that there was a very strong case that he was the father and the drama could have stopped before any damage was done to the marriage.

The support from Reddit users was huge

The positive part of this story is that the wife’s post on Reddit earned her a ton of support from people who thought her husband’s antics were utterly inappropriate. The support probably also helped to put her husband’s wild behavior into perspective while she determined their future. The wife felt bad about laughing at her husband, but most people thought it was appropriate, given her husband’s initial response.

“Not only doesn’t he have a basic grasp of genetics, he threw a tantrum and left you immediately after having the baby to struggle alone for almost a month,” CrystalQueen3000 commented. “He’s lucky all you did was laugh in his face.”

A lot of commenters thought that the woman should leave her husband for accusing her of cheating and leaving her alone with the child.

“Honestly, if my husband left me for weeks after giving birth due to a faint assumption like this, I would be done. I can’t be together with someone who abandoned me when I needed them desperately,” another commenter wrote.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Photo credit: TikTok: @dadbehindthechair – The moment he stopped, it was straight to bed.

Family, Parenting

Genius parents devise bedtime ritual: son is allowed to stay up late, but he has to run

Sensory input can help little ones fall asleep, according to science.

Kat Hong

4/23/2026
Recently, a TikTok featuring one very determined boy went viral. His parents struck the deal of a lifetime: he could stay up past his bedtime. The only caveat? He had to keep running. The moment he stopped, it was straight to bed. The video shows the little boy sprinting in circles around the room, clinging to those extra minutes of freedom while his parents cheer him on. Three minutes later, he’s wiped. The caption reads, “A win is a win.”

@dadbehindthechair
A win is a win (& 3 minutes later he was ready for bed 😎)
♬ Chopin Nocturne No. 2 Piano Mono – moshimo sound design

If you’ve ever watched your own kid get this exact second wind, you can probably feel that kid’s energy through the screen. Memories flood in: tiny feet pounding down the hallway, wild giggles, and a voice yelling, “Watch this!” as your toddler launches themselves onto a pile of pillows.

Then, a little voice in your head chimes in: “Fantastic. There goes bedtime.“

But who said that burst of energy before bed is the enemy of sleep? What if it were a crucial part of your child’s nighttime routine? Child‑development and sleep experts agree: under the right conditions, a little active play before bedtime can help some toddlers wind down and sleep more soundly. Let’s unpack what’s going on with those bedtime zoomies—and how to work with them instead of fighting them.

Why toddlers get “jacked up on life” at bedtime

Toddlers collect stress during the day: following rules at daycare; sharing toys they really, really don’t want to; sitting still at dinner; holding in big feelings because you’re not “supposed to” melt down in the grocery store (even though no one wants to buy you that gummy candy you’ve been asking nicely for). By the time evening comes around, all of that unprocessed emotional energy that has been slowly building up is still there in their little bodies.

Active, joyful play gives them a safe pressure valve.

Toddlers collect stress during the day. Canva

When your toddler is pulling, pushing, jumping, and climbing, their brain releases feel-good endorphins that help them de-stress. Plus, playful contact with parents—wrestling, piggyback rides, being scooped up and spun—boosts oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone” that makes us feel safe and connected. Silly, physical play is essential for toddlers as it helps them move tension through the body and ultimately release it. That’s what’s happening in the viral video as this kid runs laps around the room. “Heavy work” helps many sensory-seeking children feel more regulated and ready for rest.

Think of it as a reset button for an overloaded little nervous system.

The power of active play before bedtime

When you time it right and keep things intentional, a short burst of active play before bed can lead to real, tangible changes. Many “out of nowhere” meltdowns at bedtime aren’t really about their pajamas being itchy or needing “one more story.” They’re the culmination of everything your child has been holding in all day.

That’s why a few minutes of big, silly movement is so essential: it gives that tension a place to go. Laughing, rolling, jumping, and even running laps around their small bedroom is your child’s body saying, “I’m letting go of the day” before heading to bed. They’re practicing turning down the excitement.

Not all play is chaos. Games with start and stop points built in (“run to the wall… now, FREEZE!”), games that take turns, and those that toggle between fast and slow tempos help toddlers learn that their energy comes with emergency brakes.

That’s emotional regulation in disguise. You’re teaching their brain, “We can go big… and then we can come back down.” That same skill shows up later when it’s time to be still, close their eyes, and drift off.

It deepens your connection

Most toddlers just want their parents to be there at bedtime, present and solely focused on them. When you put your phone down and spend even five minutes playing—being the horse and letting them climb on top of you, assuming the role of ‘tickle monster’ or the bridge they crawl under—you add to their sense of connection right before the hardest separation of the day: saying goodnight.

Feeling seen and secure can make bedtime seem less like a painful goodbye and more like a soft landing. Large sleep studies on young children have found that simple, consistent bedtime routines—brushing teeth, reading stories, cuddling, a light jog—are linked with longer, less disruptive sleep and fewer behavioral struggles over time.

It helps their bodies feel ready to rest

In the same way that adults sleep more deeply after a long walk or a workout, toddlers’ bodies respond to movement. A little physical effort equals a calm mind, which sends the clear signal: “Oh, right. We already did our big moves. Now, we can rest.”

Physical activity can lead to faster bedtimes. Canva

For some families, that combination (physical activity and emotional regulation) can lead to faster bedtimes, fewer “one more” negotiations, and restorative sleep. Instead of an emotional 40-minute standoff about “I’m not ready for bed” nonsense (even when their eyes are literally halfway closed), their bedtime routine transforms into an easy cycle: five minutes of running around, a deep breath, one fairytale, and lights off.

How to add energy that doesn’t wreck bedtime

An important note: this is not about letting your child go wild until they crash. It’s a little intentional play that turns into a clear, gentle slide into calm. The viral TikTok provides a wonderful example of that system at play: parents say yes to movement, but it’s contained within the parameters of “bedtime.”

@courtneyenglish.ot
It can be difficult to calm you child’s body before bed! Try these during your next bed time routine! #momsoftiktok #toddlermom #preschoolmom #sensoryprocessing #bedtimeroutine #bedtimeactivites #pediatricot #pediatricoccupationaltherapy #occupationaltherapy
♬ original sound – Courtney | Pediatric OT

1. Start early

Aim to begin active play about 40–60 minutes before bedtime. Keep the high-energy section brief, ideally about 5 to 15 minutes. Consider running, jumping, and horse play as openers to your bedtime routine, not the grand finale.

2. Choose “heavy work” activities

Many toddlers, especially the endlessly wiggly ones, crave what therapists call “heavy work”: pushing, pulling, climbing, and crashing that give deep input to their muscles and joints. For many sensory‑seeking kids, that kind of play is especially soothing.

A few ideas:
- Pull your toddler on a smooth blanket down the hallway like a “train ride.”
- Let them jump from a mini trampoline or low stool into a safe pillow pile.
- Offer piggyback rides and pretend you are different animals (a bouncy kangaroo, a slow turtle, a galloping horse).
Again, the goal isn’t to exhaust them. Their bodies are chock-full of pent-up energy. Laughing and physical activity act as powerful release valves.

3. Build a clear transition

When active play is over, you need a simple ritual that says, “We’re shifting gears now.”

You might:
- Set a simple timer and say, “Two more minutes of big play, then we are heading to the bath.”
- Turn the overhead lights down and switch on a softer lamp.
- Lower your voice and move into the next steady step: bath, pajamas, teeth, stories.
For this portion, it’s wise to repeat the same order and steps on most nights. Their brains start to recognize the pattern: big play leads to a calm routine, which turns into sleep.

A parent’s attention is all a child wants. Canva

4. Stay present, even if you’re tired

No one is asking you to suit up and become a wrestling maniac every night like it’s the WWE. But even when you’re exhausted or “touched out,” you can still provide an anchor.

Set up the pillow pile. Hold the blanket they are pulling. Referee a sibling “pillow tower demolition.” Cheer them on from the floor as they run their own version of that TikTok sprint.

More than any specific game, your attention makes this one of connection, not chaos.

Oh, and never forget that safety is non-negotiable. Before engaging in active play, scan the room for sharp corners or tripping hazards. Skip roughhousing if your child already looks overtired or seems unsteady.

When active play may not be the right fit

For some kids, bedtime rough-and-tumble is simply not the answer. That’s okay. If your toddler is sensitive to noise, sudden movement, and general chaos, high-energy play in the evening might leave their pint-sized nervous system feeling frenetic rather than soothed. Children who are “sensory avoidant” often wind down better with gentler, predictable routines before sleep.

Red flags that the play is too much or too late:
- Their giggles tip into frantic, wild running they cannot seem to stop.
- They are more tearful, not less, once the game ends.
- It consistently pushes bedtime later and later, even with a calm routine afterward.
In cases like these, consider leaning into cozy sensory activities, like deep pressure hugs, slow rocking, or quiet stretches, and keep high-energy play earlier in the day.

@sarahockwellsmith
Why you should introduce active play with your children before bedtime? #parentingtips #learnwithtiktok #tiktoktips #parentsoftiktok #parentingtips #parentsbelike #parentinghack101 #parentinghacks101 #mumsoftiktok #toddlersoftiktok #toddlersleep #sleeptraining #sleeptrainingtips #sleeptrainingtoddler #sleeptrainwithoutsleeptraining #gentleparenting #gentleparentinghacks #gentlesleepcoach #gentlesleeptraining #gentlesleepchanges #preschoolactivities #bedtimeroutine #childsleep #tiredmumsclub
♬ Emotional Piano for the Soul (Inspirational Background Music) – Fearless Motivation Instrumentals

Make bedtime more joyful

Sure, bedtime can be stressful, but it can also provide a daily opportunity to reconnect with your child.

A few moments of wild laughter. A blanket ride down the hallway. One last big jump into your arms. These are the moments their bodies will remember when the lights go out. It all provides a sense of “I moved, I let it out, I am safe. They are here.”

For some toddlers, this is exactly the safety that lets their brain finally say, “Okay, I can sleep now.”

If you have a high-energy child, you might try five minutes of play tonight. See what happens. Under the right conditions, those bedtime zoomies might be the precursor of a sweet night’s sleep for both of you.
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Photo credit: Canva, @emilykmay/X – woman lying in a hospital bed looking out the window

Family, Moms

People are in disbelief learning how many moms literally daydream about being hospitalized

It’s a real phenomenon.

Annie Reneau

Upworthy Staff

4/23/2026

It’s hard to explain the relentless intensity of having young children if you haven’t done it. It’s wonderful, beautiful, magical and all of that, it truly is, but it’s a lot. Like, a lot. It’s a bit like running an ultramarathon through the most beautiful landscape you can imagine. There’s no question that it’s amazing, but it’s really, really hard. And sometimes there are storms or big hills or obstacles or twisted ankles or some other thing that makes it even more challenging for a while.

Unfortunately, a lot of moms feel like they’re running that marathon alone. Some actually are. Some have partners who don’t pull their weight. But even with an equal partner, the early years tend to be mom-heavy, and it takes a toll. In fact, that toll is so great that it’s not unusual for moms to fantasize about being hospitalized, not with anything serious, just something that requires a short stay simply to get a genuine break.

The mental and physical exhaustion of parenting

In a thread on X (formerly Twitter), a mom named Emily shared this truth: “[I don’t know] if the lack of community care in our culture is more evident than when moms casually say they daydream about being hospitalized for something only moderately serious so that they are forced to not have any responsibilities for like 3 days.”

In a follow-up tweet, she added, “And other moms are like ‘yeah totally’ while childfree Gen Z girls’ mouths hang open in horror.”

Mothers share their own experiences

Other moms corroborated, not only with the fantasy but the reality of getting a hospital break:

“And can confirm: I have the fondest memories of my appendicitis that almost burst 3 weeks after my third was born bc I emergency had to go get it taken out and I mean I let my neighbor take my toddlers and I let my husband give the baby formula, and I slept until I was actually rested. Under the knife, but still. It was really nice,” wrote one mom.

“I got mastitis when my first was 4 months old. I had to have surgery, but my hospital room had a nice view, my mom came to see me, the baby was with me but other people mostly took care of her, bliss,” shared another.

An exhausted mom holds her newborn baby. Photo credit: Canva

Some people tried to blame lackadaisical husbands and fathers for moms feeling overwhelmed, but as Emily pointed out, it’s not always enough to have a supportive spouse. That’s why she pointed to “lack of community care” in her original post.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a mother. Without the proverbial village, we end up bearing too much of the weight of childrearing ourselves. We’re not just running the ultramarathon. We’re also carrying the water, bandaging the blisters, moving fallen trees out of the way, washing the sweat out of our clothes and we’re doing it all without any rest.

Why moms daydream about being hospitalized

Why don’t moms just take a vacation instead of daydreaming about hospitalization? It’s not that simple. Many people don’t have the means for a getaway, but even if they do, there’s a certain level of “mom guilt” that comes with purposefully leaving your young children. Vacations usually require planning and decision-making as well, and decision fatigue is one of the most exhausting parts of parenting.

Strange as it may seem, the reason hospitalization is attractive is that it’s forced. If you’re in the hospital, you have to be there, so there’s no guilt about choosing to leave. It involves no decision-making. Someone else is calling all the shots. You literally have no responsibilities in the hospital except resting. No one needs anything from you. And unlike when you’re on vacation, most people who are caring for your kids when you’re in the hospital aren’t going to constantly contact you to ask you questions. They’ll leave you to let you rest.

When a real hospital stay becomes a vacation

Paula Fitzgibbons shares that she had three kids under the age of 3 in 11 months (two by adoption and one by birth). Her husband, despite being very involved and supportive, had a 1.5 hour commute for work, so the lion’s share of childcare, or “delightful utter chaos” as she refers to it, fell on her shoulders. At one point, she ended up in the ER with atrial fibrillation, and due to family medical history was kept in the hospital for a few days for tests and monitoring.

“When people came to visit me or called to see how I was, I responded that I was enjoying my time at ‘the spa,’ and though I missed my family, I was soaking it all in,” she tells Upworthy. “My husband understood. Other mothers understood. The medical staff did not know what to make of my cheerful demeanor, but there I was, lying in bed reading and sleeping for four straight days with zero guilt. What a gift for a new mom.”

A mom relaxing in a chair Image via Canva

When you have young children, your concept of what’s relaxing shifts. I recall almost falling asleep during one of my first dental cleanings after having kids. That chair was so comfy and no one needed anything from me. I didn’t even care what they were doing to my teeth. It felt like heaven to lie down and rest without any demands being made of me other than “Open a little wider, please.”

Obviously, being hospitalized isn’t ideal for a whole host of reasons, but the desire is real. There aren’t a lot of simple solutions to the issue of moms needing a real break, not just an hour or two, but a few days. However, maybe if society were structured in such a way that we had smaller, more frequent respites and spread the work of parenting across the community, we wouldn’t feel as much of a desire to be hospitalized simply to be able to rejuvenate.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

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Photo credit: Canva – Big brothers can be the best helpers.

Family, Kids

Mom captures her 10-yr-old son on camera at 3am comforting her toddler so she could sleep

“He said he wanted me to get some rest because I did a lot that day.”

Annie Reneau

Upworthy Staff

4/23/2026

The best feeling as a parent is when your child does something that exemplifies good character, especially when they do it without being asked and without expecting any recognition or reward for it. Seeing your kid practicing patience, kindness, and helpfulness, even when they think no one is looking—that’s when you know that all your hard parenting work is paying off.

fSo when you’re a mom with six kids and the baby monitor in your 18-month-old’s nursery shows your 10-year-old stepping up to help his little brother—in the middle of the night, no less, your heart might melt a little. And when he tells you the thoughtful reason why he didn’t just come and get you when he heard his brother fussing, your heart just might explode.

A viral video captured this scenario at Gloria McIntosh’s house in Ohio in 2020, and it could not be sweeter.

McIntosh told TODAY Parents that she always told her kids that the true test of a person’s character is what they do when no one is around, a lesson that her son, Mason, clearly took to heart when he got up at 3 a.m. to comfort his 18-month-old brother, Greyson.

The moment captured on the baby monitor

@gloriaangelou
@lighteyemason 💙💙🤴🏾
♬ Surrender – Natalie Taylor

“The baby woke up in the middle of the night,” McIntosh wrote. “I heard him fussing so I just checked the camera to see if he would just fall back asleep and saw his brother showing the best example of love and patience. He stayed with him for almost 30 minutes trying to get him back to sleep. I eventually came in and got the baby, and asked my son why he didn’t just come and get me.”

Why Mason didn’t wake his mom up

The reason was as thoughtful as can be.

“He said he wanted me to get some rest, because I did a lot that day. While parenting is not his responsibility, just the fact that he understood that he is his brother’s keeper, and considered my long day as a mom, is much appreciated. ❤️”

When he climbed into the crib with him? Gracious. That’s when you know your kids are going to be all right.

“I was smiling the whole time,” McIntosh told TODAY Parents. “He has a love for Greyson that is unspeakable. I can’t even really explain it.”

McIntosh said Mason is a natural caregiver. “I’m sure Mason was tired and cranky. He was woken up at 3 a.m.,” she said. “But how you saw him treat his brother is how he is. He steps up.”

Some kids are just awesome, but there’s a lot to be said for setting an example and nurturing kids in an environment where they feel inspired to be helpful as well. Clearly McIntosh has done something right for her son to step up in that way. Watch the way she soothes her 4-year-old when he had a bad dream in the middle of the night, and it’s easy to see where Mason gets it.

@gloriaangelou
#maxtoncharles #momlife
♬ Surrender – Natalie Taylor

Well done, Mason. And well done, mama. You can follow Gloria on TikTok.

This article originally appeared five years ago. It has been updated.

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Photo credit: Canva – Kids playing on a playground.

Family, Kids

A stranger airdropped photos to this mom at the park and the gesture is moving parents everywhere

“To the random mom who took these without me knowing and airdropped them to me… thank you.” This is the gesture every parent wishes for.

Adam Albright-Hanna

4/22/2026

Every parent knows the struggle of looking through their phone’s photo library only to realize they are missing from almost every single frame. We are the ones behind the lens, capturing the first steps, the messy faces, and the playground triumphs, but we rarely have proof that we were actually there. As PEOPLE reported, one mother in England recently received a beautiful remedy to this “invisible parent” problem from a complete stranger.

Elizabeth Green (@likedbyliz), a nurse and mother of two, was enjoying a rare day off at the park with her children, Will and Nora. While she was focused on playing with them on the slide, she noticed another woman nearby who seemed to be giving her children instructions to “get back up there.” Before Green could wonder what was happening, the woman approached her and asked to airdrop a few files.

When Green opened her phone, she was stunned. The stranger had captured several high-quality, candid photos of Green immersed in play with her toddlers. These weren’t the posed, “everyone look at the camera and smile” shots that parents usually fight for. They were authentic glimpses of motherhood in motion.

@likedbyliz
Moms get it ♥️ #momlife #girlhood #childhood #kids #mother
♬ Landslide (2017 Remaster) – Fleetwood Mac

The gesture struck a deep chord with Green, who shared the photos on TikTok to thank the “random mom” for her kindness. The video has since resonated with millions of parents who feel the same longing to be documented in their daily lives. Green noted that while her husband makes a real effort to take photos of her with the kids, there is something uniquely special about a third-party perspective catching a moment you didn’t even know was happening.

Kids playing at an outdoor playground. Photo credit: Canva

Psychologists often talk about the power of “core memories,” those significant experiences that help shape a child’s sense of security and love. According to a study published in PMC, the quality of time parents spend with their children is a primary driver of long-term well-being. By capturing these images, the stranger didn’t just give Green a few photos, she gave her a permanent record of the “quiet” love that builds those memories.

The comment section of Green’s video quickly became a digital support group for parents. One user shared a story of an older man who nervously approached her at a library to share a photo he took of her with her baby, while a single mother commented that she would “sob” if someone did the same for her.

It is a simple act of service that costs nothing but a few seconds of time, yet it provides a lifetime of value. In a world where we are often told to mind our own business, this “random mom” proved that sometimes, the best thing you can do is notice someone else’s joy and make sure they have a way to remember it.

For more fun parenting videos, follow @likedbyliz on TikTok.

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Photo credit: Canva – A woman hugs the bride at her wedding.

Family, Modern Families

At her dad’s wedding, a teen’s toast turned out to be for someone else entirely and made the whole room cry

“Usually, divorce is hard. But this made it worth it.” A 15-year-old’s wedding speech for her stepmom Beth has the internet in tears.

Adam Albright-Hanna

4/22/2026

Stepmoms get a bad cultural reputation that most of them don’t deserve. The wicked stepmother is such a durable myth that it takes something pretty extraordinary to cut through it. This cut through.

At her dad’s wedding, a 15-year-old named Alex stood up to give a toast and proceeded to say something that made the bride cry before she’d barely gotten started. The clip was shared on TikTok by wedding videographer Sky Cinema Films (@skycinemafilms) and has since been watched more than 42 million times across a three-part series.

Alex started by saying the first word that came to mind when she thought of Beth was “affectionate.” Then: “She doesn’t have one mean bone in her body.” For Beth, hearing her stepdaughter-to-be say that out loud, in front of everyone, was already too much. You could see it on her face.

@skycinemafilms
Viral Emotional Stepdaughter Speech #skycinemafilms #stepmotherstepdaughter #emotionalspeech #bethtok #weddingtiktok #weddingviral
♬ original sound – Sky Cinema Films

Alex went on to describe watching her parents’ divorce and what it felt like to suddenly have the concept of a “stepmom” become real. It was unsettling at first, she said. Then Beth showed up, and that changed. Beth became a partner in crime, a safe space, someone she could tell anything. They’d go shopping together. They’d commiserate about their glasses. The little things, stacked up, had turned into something that mattered.

Then came the line that the internet has not been able to shake: “Usually, divorce is hard. But this made it worth it.”

A woman hugs the bride at her wedding. Photos: Canva

She closed by saying something that holds up outside of weddings too. “Family isn’t always defined by last names or blood; it’s defined by love and commitment. I know Beth isn’t my mom, but I know she will always be there whenever I need her.”

Children of divorce carry a particular kind of weight, like the loyalty conflicts, the shifting households, the feeling of being torn in two directions at once. What Alex was describing, without quite naming it, was what it felt like to have that weight lifted by someone who didn’t have to do it. Beth chose this. She chose to show up, consistently, for a kid who wasn’t hers by birth, until the kid couldn’t imagine the family without her.

That’s what the 42 million views are really about.

You can follow Sky Cinema Films at @skycinemafilms on TikTok.

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Photo credit: via Christian Buehner/Unsplash and Warren Umoh/Unsplash – The grandmother was suspicious.

Family, Modern Families

Grandma realized her granddaughter didn’t look like her siblings so she got secret DNA test

It was a shocking decision but people are saying she was right to do it.

Tod Perry

Upworthy Staff

4/22/2026

A grandmother always felt her middle granddaughter Lindsay, 15, looked slightly different from the rest of the family because she had blonde, curly hair, while the rest of her siblings’ hair was dark “I thought genetics was being weird and I love her,” she wrote.

But things became serious after Lindsay’s parents “banned” her from taking things a step further and getting a DNA test. If the family was sure their daughter was theirs, why would they forbid her from seeking clarity in the situation? After the parents laid down the law, the situation started to seem a little suspicious. “I told my son and [daughter-in-law] that there was something fishy around her birth she needed to know. They denied it and told me to leave it alone,” the grandma wrote.

Lindsay wouldn’t give up her quest. She approached her biology teacher, who admitted that it was “odd” for her to have such different traits. This confusion was too much for Lindsay, so she went to her grandmother for help. “She came to me distressed, asking me to buy a DNA test since she needs to know,” the grandmother wrote.

The grandmother’s post about her secret DNA test went viral. Photo credit: Canva

The DNA test that changed everything

The grandmother purchased a DNA test and it proved their suspicions. “Long story short, she is not her mother’s kid,” the grandmother wrote. “My son got someone else pregnant and her bio mom gave her up.”

The interesting thing was that Lindsay was a middle child. So, the dad had a baby with another woman while he was with his wife. This revelation begs the question: How did the family suddenly have a baby out of nowhere without people being suspicious?

“They were on the other side of the country when she was born, and I met Lindsay when she was about 6 months old. Really not hard to hide the whole thing,” the grandmother wrote. “Our family has a history of miscarriages, so it’s common to drop news about a baby late in the pregnancy. They did the same with their oldest and didn’t think anything about it.”

The big revelation has caused friction in the family. The family no longer talks to the grandmother, which makes Lindsay even more furious about the situation.Should the grandmother have taken such drastic steps if she knew what could happen if her suspicions were true? The commenters on Reddit overwhelmingly supported the grandmother’s decision. The big reason was that Lindsay needed to know her family history for medical reasons.

“Your son and his wife suck for lying to her until she is 15 about something so important and trying to keep lying to her even after she obviously started to question things. There are medical reasons a person might need to know what their genetics are/are not, and if you hadn’t helped her, she would have found out some other way,” Shake_Speare423 wrote.

Another commenter noted that protecting the parents’ lie wasn’t nearly as important as Lindsay’s mental health.

“People have a right to know their genetic heritage. Lying about adoption is linked to increased suicidal ideation, anxiety, and depression. You put her safety and comfort ahead of your son’s preferences. Parental rights do not have greater value than a child’s right to access comprehensive medical care, and hiding an adoption does precisely that. Maybe some things, like a child staying healthy, should matter more than a parent’s right to lie, gaslight and manipulate their child as they see fit,” RemembrancerLirael added.

Reddit took the grandmother’s side

The commenters overwhelmingly supported the grandma for putting herself into an uncomfortable situation to protect her granddaughter’s mental and physical health. However, one commenter noted that she could have gone about it in a less polarizing way.

“Bit out of the norm for the responses here, but you should have gone through your son [and daughter-in-law] and convinced them. Told them that the biology teacher had highlighted that she had traits that didn’t make sense, etc. and convinced them that Lindsey would find out either way,” PhilMcGraw wrote. “It would have allowed them to find a way to tell her without it being forced on them angrily. A DNA test is the absolute worst way to be told. I’m sure they would have much rather told her than let her find out by a DNA test if that is what was coming.”

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

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Photo credit: Canva – A grandmother with her grandchild.

Family, Parenting

‘Devoted granny’ says it’s grandparents’ job to build relationships with their grandkids, not parents

Grandparents shouldn’t wait to be told to do their job.

Tod Perry

4/21/2026

There has been a growing discussion over the last couple of years, mostly initiated by Millennial parents, that their Baby Boomer parents aren’t there for their children. It’s believed that the absentee Boomer grandparent phenomenon stems from the generation’s financial success. In retirement, Boomers have more options to travel and pursue their interests than earlier generations did, which often chose to spend more time with family.

A common excuse among some grandparents is that they “did their time” as parents and don’t want to spend their golden years raising the next generation. Others will blame their children for refusing to foster a relationship between grandparents and grandchildren.

However, TikTok user Helen Devoted Granny, a grandmother in Devon, England, is going viral for being brutally honest: “I think it’s always the grandparents’ responsibility.”

Helen’s TikTok page expresses the joy of being a devoted grandparent while questioning those who aren’t there for their grandchildren.

@hels5071
Who’s responsibility is it? I think it’s firmly the grandparents responsibility. Being a devoted granny is an absolute privilege and one I cherish #mumsoftiktok #grandparentsoftiktok #familymatters #familydynamics #generationaltrauma
♬ original sound – Helen Devoted Granny

Who is responsible for the grandparent-grandchild relationship?

“I think it’s always the grandparents’ responsibility,” Helen said in a video. “And as a devoted granny, I’ll explain why I think it’s the grandparents responsibility to always reach out, to be the one saying, ‘Well, can we help with this? Can we come and visit? Can we take them there? Is there anything you’d like me to do? Do you need some support this week? Do you need some support next week? These are my days off.’ Blah, blah, blah.”

She added, “That’s what I do. I’m a devoted granny, and I feel very strongly about this. And I don’t think kids should be the ones. Your children shouldn’t be the ones who need to facilitate that relationship. It’s up to the grandparents to do that.”

Grandmother and grandson. Photo credit: Canva

Helen also has some strong words for grandparents who don’t want to raise kids anymore because they believe that “it’s their time” now.

“I think if grandparents are coming back with things like, ‘Well, it’s our time now, it’s our time now.’ No, it’s not,” Helen said. “It’s your time to help your kids because it’s really difficult when your children are small. The help that you give them is so needed, and it’s so appreciated that, honestly, it’s your time to be with your grandchildren and to help in every way you can.”

The folks in the comments overwhelmingly agreed

Commenters applauded Helen, many of whom were upset that their parents never put any effort into building a relationship with their children.

“I recently read the following: ‘Active grandparents never want to stop being parents, while uninvolved grandparents never really wanted to be parents in the first place.’ This statement struck a chord,” Azucar wrote.

“I agree. No support or effort = no relationship,” Naarah added.

Family time. Photo credit: Canva

Kermy said that it’s all about priorities, which are easy to see: “If Grandparents can work out how to order expensive gadgets online, buy new cars and book holidays, they are more than capable of picking up the phone and contacting the grandkids themselves.”

Helen’s TikTok is a clear example of a truth in life: when people care about something, they take initiative. They don’t wait for other people to give them permission. In the end, no matter what side you take in the discussion, her message is clear: relationships don’t build themselves. When it comes to family, those who show up and take initiative are always going to be the ones who matter most.

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