Culture

Family

Nature

Science

Subscribe

Procrastinator? Me too. These 5 tips really helped me get to work.

Let’s get this out of the way: I’m a procrastinator. It’s likely you are too. There’s nothing I enjoy more than writing — OK, sleeping is a close second — but when I open a new Word document to type out a story, I immediately begin to think about things that I would much rather…

By

Mark Shrayber

Let’s get this out of the way: I’m a procrastinator. It’s likely you are too.

There’s nothing I enjoy more than writing — OK, sleeping is a close second — but when I open a new Word document to type out a story, I immediately begin to think about things that I would much rather be doing right now. You know, like washing every dish in the house or seeing just how many YouTube videos I can watch in an hour.

Don’t worry, we’re not alone:

https://twitter.com/Eden_Eats/status/976878516456382464
https://twitter.com/BarbiHoneycutt/status/976836139872145409
https://twitter.com/HeatherMatarazz/status/973594236112089088
https://twitter.com/sophiebushwick/status/979098067608752130

If you need more evidence that so many of us (20% of people worldwide are “true procrastinators”) are putting off the things we could be doing until tomorrow — “a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation, and achievement is stored” — you need to check out this video that’s going viral.

It’s a lecture by professor and procrastination researcher Timothy Pychyl. The video was originally shot in 2012, but you won’t be surprised to learn that not much has changed for all us procrastinators out there.

Check it out if you’re looking to understand and change some of your procrastination behaviors.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=mhFQA998WiA

Ah, you’ve scrolled past the video, just as I suspected you would. My guess is that your first thought was “This video is 58 minutes long!” and your second thought was “I’ll definitely watch this over the weekend.” Or maybe, like one Redditor, you’ve saved it to watch at 3 a.m. when “all other options have been exhausted.”

https://twitter.com/DylanReeve/status/979137346917421056

You know how I know? I’ve done this, too. So how do you break the cycle? And why should breaking it even matter? Well, here are five procrastination facts to seriously convince you to change your habits, gleaned from personal experience and boiled down from those 58 minutes I watched on your behalf.

1. Procrastination isn’t ever actually fun.

Think back to the last time you procrastinated. Did you have a good time? Maybe a little, because it feels good to give in to avoiding something — at least at first. It’s probable, though, as you watched a movie or baked cookies or scrolled social media and checked your email for the umpteenth time that you also felt guilty. And that’s because you know you were putting off something that could have and should have been done right now.

And if we’re being really honest, Pychyl points out in the video, behaviors we perform while procrastinating are often “moral in nature” — like cooking and cleaning. It’s a way of assuaging some of our guilt for choosing to leave the taxes for another day (even though the deadline is looming).

[rebelmouse-image 19534281 dam=1 original_size=”500×359″ caption=”GIF from “SpongeBob SquarePants.”” expand=1]

As my thesis advisor once told me as I made another excuse for not having a part of my draft finished, “You’re turning a little discomfort now into a lot of suffering later.” She was right.

Sure, my house had never been cleaner (to the delight of my husband), but I also had to suffer the pain of writing a 40-page paper in less than two weeks. Not something I  recommend.

2. Procrastination can have devastating effects.

One lie we tell ourselves when we procrastinate, Pychyl says, is that we do much better under pressure. Of course, that’s not at all true. In the video, Pychyl says that those who procrastinate tend to make more errors. And that leads to poorer quality work. (Research supports this.)

That’s not all, though. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but new findings show that chronic procrastination can lead to a host of health problems because putting important things off causes stress, making you vulnerable to headaches, insomnia, and even hypertension or cardiovascular disease.

[rebelmouse-image 19534283 dam=1 original_size=”480×366″ caption=”GIF from “The Simpsons.”” expand=1]

People who procrastinate, Pychyl warns, also have a harder time eating well, exercising, and taking care of themselves otherwise. That’s because, as he puts it, procrastination isn’t a time-management issue (so that planner isn’t going to help you on its own) but an existential one. You procrastinate to (unconsciously) avoid getting on with life.

3. Before you stop procrastinating, you have to realize you won’t accomplish this goal overnight.

If you’ve ever tried to achieve a goal — or several — at one time, you know what happens. You’ll start off strong, promising yourself that this is when you’ll really start kicking butt and taking names. And suddenly you’re exhausted and don’t know if you have the strength to carry on.

That’s actually not uncommon. While most of us view self-control as limitless, the reality is that it’s more like a muscle — building it up takes time and effort. You’re going to have to break your goal up into bite-sized pieces instead of viewing them as huge obstacles.

Whenever I’m getting ready to procrastinate (*cough* as soon as I was assigned this post *cough*), I’m reminded of this quote by Mark Twain:

“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”

What that boils down to (because boiling frogs is the healthiest way to eat them), is that if you know you’ve got something to do, try to do it as soon as possible so that it’s over with. And do the part you’re least interested in first.

[rebelmouse-image 19534284 dam=1 original_size=”480×270″ caption=”GIF from The Lonely Island/NBC.” expand=1]

Here’s another tip, this one from author James Clear: “If it takes less than two minutes, do it now.” More on that:

“Want to become a better writer? Just write one sentence (2–Minute Rule), and you’ll often find yourself writing for an hour.”

“Want to run three times a week? Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, just get your running shoes on and get out the door (2–Minute Rule), and you’ll end up putting mileage on your legs instead of popcorn in your stomach.”

4. Just the fact that you spent two minutes reading this piece means you’re on the way to ending your procrastination.

That wasn’t so bad, was it? Let’s take a moment to mark this monumental occasion with this video of a dog riding a skateboard (a perfectly beautiful and natural thing for dogs to do).

Now back to the important stuff:

As you practice not putting things off, you build up your belief in yourself. And that belief translates to a change in your habits and identity. The catch, though, is that you can’t go too fast, and you can’t put off the small steps until tomorrow or next week or the first of the month.

You’ve got to start taking care of what you’ve been putting off now. Stop and think what you can accomplish in a few minutes. Just start. Don’t think about it.

5. The most important step? Something called “implementation intention.”

You know what’s on your to-do list because it’s keeping you up at night. You promise yourself you’ll get it done first thing tomorrow, but another day has come and gone, and you’re still stuck in the same place. That’s not because you’re lazy but because, as Pychyl says, procrastination is “the gap between intention and action.”

Let’s make that even simpler: The problem isn’t that you don’t know what to do, it’s that you don’t know how to do it. The items on your list — even ones like “clean the house” or “get back to people” — are big and vague enough that you don’t know where to get started.

In the video, Pychyl says that when he asks a grad student what they’re working on and they say “my thesis,” he knows that they’re not getting any work done. Wasn’t the same true for you when you said “I’ll do my homework” rather than saying “I’ll do the problems I have for math followed by the paper I’ve got for English”?

Implementation intention, based on the work of researcher and New York University professor Peter Gollwitzer, is the idea is that you break goals down into the following formula: “In situation X, I will do behavior Y to achieve subgoal Z.” You give yourself concrete plans that don’t just include an intention but a clear plan for your action.

[rebelmouse-image 19534285 dam=1 original_size=”480×260″ caption=”GIF from “Home Alone.”” expand=1]

That turns “I’ll definitely clean the entire house on Sunday” to “On Sunday morning, I’ll do my dishes and mop the floor so that my kitchen is clean.”

It’s really as simple as that (and research shows that it works).

And if you find that you don’t feel like it? Well, Pychyl knows that you won’t. But learning to regulate your emotions is an important part of learning not to procrastinate.

“When I ask my children about feeding the fish, dogs, or horses (or any other chore, including homework), and they say, ‘I don’t feel like, I don’t want to,’ my typical response is, ‘I didn’t ask you how you felt or what you want to do. I asked you about that action,’” Pychyl writes in a blog post.

In short, recognize that “‘I don’t feel like it’ is not a reason, it’s an excuse.”

Add to Google News

Tags

More for You

  • Man ran a red light rushing to his wife. What the judge did next left the courtroom silent.
    https://youtu.be/4Al1UorzYZE?feature=shared A man speaks to a judge in a courtroom.
    ,

    Man ran a red light rushing to his wife. What the judge did next left the courtroom silent.

    “Based on those circumstances, I think it’s appropriate that I dismiss this case.” Judge Frank Caprio after hearing why a man ran a red light to reach his pregnant wife.

    Adam Albright-Hanna

    Upworthy Staff

    When Jean Lucardi appeared before Judge Frank Caprio on “Caught In Providence,” he was facing a fine for running a red light. The case started with the kind of light-hearted banter that makes Caprio’s courtroom famous. The judge joked about Lucardi’s impressive beard, asking why he grew it.

    “Because I’m bald,” Lucardi said. “So, making sense with my face.”

    Caprio teased that maybe the sun’s glare on his bald head caused him to miss the light. But the mood shifted completely when Lucardi explained what actually happened.

    Judge Frank Caprio, court, compassion, pregnancy loss, justice
    A pregnant woman makes a phone call. Photo credit: Canva

    Lucardi worked as a Lyft driver to support his family. The day he ran the red light, his pregnant wife called him while he was stopped at a signal. She was bleeding. She was having a miscarriage. This was their fifth loss.

    “When she called me, she told me she was bleeding and she was pregnant at the time, and I shut down the app, and I was trying to rush to go be with her because she was by herself in the house,” Lucardi explained. He thought he was catching a yellow light but realized later it had already turned red. His wife eventually recovered, but they lost their baby that day.

    The courtroom went quiet.

    “Based on those circumstances, I think it’s appropriate that I dismiss this case,” Caprio said. He asked about Lucardi’s family, and Lucardi shared that it had been a difficult time. He’d been taking steps to help his wife heal from the trauma of multiple pregnancy losses.

    “Our thoughts are with you and your family. Good luck to you. The case is dismissed,” Caprio told him.

    The episode, titled “The Pain of Losing a Child,” captured something that doesn’t always show up in courtrooms: the ability to see the human being behind the violation. This wasn’t about letting someone off the hook for breaking a rule. It was about recognizing that sometimes life puts people in impossible situations where following every rule to the letter stops making sense.

    Caprio has built a reputation for this kind of compassion. In another episode called “Homeless and Hungry,” he met a homeless autistic woman whose car had been booted with ten violations. She’d just secured a job and was living in her car. She asked for a lenient payment plan. Instead, Caprio covered $300 of her $400 fine through the Filomena Fund and gave her a month to pay the remaining $100. When he learned she was eating only one meal a day, he made sure she left the court with enough money to buy food.

    These moments show what’s possible when the justice system makes room for understanding alongside enforcement. Lucardi left that courtroom without a fine, but probably with something more valuable: the knowledge that someone in a position of power had listened to his story and responded with humanity instead of just procedure.

    Keep Reading →
  • ‘Why women leave’: Woman who ‘does everything’ shares why she left her husband who did nothing
    Photo credit: via Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels – A woman is upset with her husband and wants to leave him.
    ,

    ‘Why women leave’: Woman who ‘does everything’ shares why she left her husband who did nothing

    This is a common story in many households.

    Tod Perry

    Upworthy Staff

    There are a few prominent reasons why 70% of divorces in the United States among heterosexual couples are filed by women. Women have more economic opportunities than in decades past and are better positioned to care for themselves and their children without a husband’s income.

    Another big reason is that even though the world has become much more egalitarian than in the past, women still bear the brunt of most of the emotional labor in the home. In 2022, Gilza Fort-Martinez, a Florida-based licensed couples’ therapist, told the BBC that men are socialized to have lower emotional intelligence than women, leaving their wives to do most of the emotional labor.

    Secondly, studies show that women still do most of the domestic work in the home, and, among couples with children, women are often the default parent. In short, many women are pulling double or triple duty for their households.

    One woman’s day says it all

    In 2023, a TikToker with two children (now @littleoldme_myversion, but formerly @thesoontobeexwife) shared why she decided to leave her husband of two decades and her story recounts a common theme: She did all the work and her husband did little but complain.

    The video, entitled “Why women leave,” has received over 2 million views.

    @littleoldme_myversion

    Y’all I laughed when I realized he truly does treat me better now then when he was trying to be in a marriage with me. How is this better?? How did I ever think before was ok?? #toxicrelationship #divorce #mentalloadofmotherhood #divorcetok #divorceisanoption #chooseyou #mentalhealth #mentalload #fyp #mentalload #emotionallabor

    ♬ labour – Paris Paloma

    “So for the men out there who watch this, which frankly I kind of hope there aren’t any, you have an idea maybe what not to do,” she starts the video. “Yesterday, I go to work all day, go pick up one kid from school, go grocery shopping, go pick up the other kid from school, come home. Kids need a snack, make the snack. Kids want to play outside, we play outside.”

    Her husband then comes home after attending a volunteer program, which she didn’t want him to join, and the self-centeredness begins. “So he gets home, he eats the entire carton of blueberries I just purchased for the children’s lunch and asks me what’s for dinner. I tell him I don’t know because the kids had a late snack and they’re not hungry yet,” she says in the video.

    She then explains how the last time he cooked, which was a rare event, he nearly punched a hole in the wall because he forgot an ingredient. Their previous home had multiple holes in the walls. Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist and host of the Power of Different podcast, says that when men punch walls, it’s a sign that they haven’t “learned to deal with anger in a reasonable way.”

    “Anyway, finally one kid is hungry,” the TikToker continues. “So, I offered to make pancakes because they’re quick and easy and it’s late. He sees the pancake batter and sees that there’s wheat flour in it and starts complaining. Says he won’t eat them. Now, I am a grown adult making pancakes for my children who I am trying to feed nutritionally balanced meals. So yes, there’s wheat flour in the pancake mix.”

    Then her husband says he’s not doing the dishes because he didn’t eat any pancakes. “Friends, the only thing this man does around this house is dishes occasionally. If I cook, he usually does the dishes. I cook most nights. But here’s the thing: That’s all he does. I do everything else. Everything. Everything.”

    She then listed all of the household duties she handles.

    “I cook, I clean the bathrooms, I make the lunches, I make the breakfasts, I mow the lawn, I do kids’ bedtime. I literally do everything and he does dishes once a day, maybe,” she says.

    @littleoldme_myversion

    I HAVE OFFICIALLY FILED FOR DIVORCE 🎉 #divorce #divorcetok #toxicrelationship #divorceisanoption #fyp #mentalhealth #chooseyou #iamenough #iwillnotbeafraid #mentalloadofmotherhood #emotionallabor

    ♬ Cool Kids (our sped up version) – Echosmith

    The comments poured in from everywhere

    The video received over 8,700 comments and most of them were words of support for the TikToker who would go on to file for divorce from her husband.

    “The amount of women I’ve heard say that their male partners are only teaching how to be completely independent of them, theirs going to be so many lonely men out there,” one commenter wrote. “I was married to someone just like this for over 35 years. You will be so happy when you get away from him,” another said.

    “The way you will no longer be walking on eggshells in your own home is an amazing feeling. You got this!” one more added.

    @littleoldme_myversion

    If I ever date a man again they have to like Taylor, Chappell and alllllll the girly pop #taylorswift #chappellroan #swifttok #swiftie #pop #girlypop @Taylor Swift @Taylor Nation @chappell roan

    ♬ original sound – Little Old Me

    Two years later, here is where she is now

    Two years on, our TikToker is doing well. Her page is dedicated to “single motherhood,” “life in [my] 40s,” and, of course, “loads of Taylor Swift [and] some books.” In a recent TikTok video, she shares footage of a show where people of all ages and stages are dancing to a cover of Taylor Swift’s “I Can Do it With a Broken Heart” with text overlay that reads, “The only kind of men I will accept in life, those that enthusiastically sing Taylor Swift and Chappell Roan.” Honestly, that’s the standard and more power to her.

    This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

    Keep Reading →
  • New mom shares texts from her mother-in-law that exemplify postpartum depression support
    Photo credit: Canva – Postpartum depression requires various kinds of support.
    ,

    New mom shares texts from her mother-in-law that exemplify postpartum depression support

    This mother-in-law knows what she’s doing.

    Annie Reneau

    First-time motherhood can feel overwhelming in every way. Bringing a human into the world that you are responsible for and fall madly in love with is life-changing, to say the least. But when you add a layer of postpartum depression (PPD) onto that overwhelm, it can all feel like way too much to handle.

    A mom shared texts her mother-in-law sent her when she was struggling with PPD with her firstborn, and people are loving them. The post from @mamaesterm provides a great example of what support looks like.

    @mamaesterm

    #babiesoftiktok #firsttimemom #postpartum #mil

    ♬ Atlantis (Sped Up Version) – Seafret

    First, it’s important to note that one of the most important ways to support someone going through PPD is to encourage and help them seek professional help. Treatments are available.

    Each text has a specific element that makes it particularly effective:

    ‘Can I come by and help tidy up while you take a nap with the baby?’

    This message acknowledges that Mom needs sleep and also needs a clean home. Often, those needs are not compatible in the early weeks and months of motherhood. People tell you to “sleep when the baby sleeps,” but if you have a high-needs baby, nap time is often the only time you have to get things done. People will also say the state of your house doesn’t matter, but for many, if not most, it’s easier to manage mental health when the home is under control.

    So, having someone ask if they can come and help with the house while Mom naps with the baby hits both needs simultaneously.

    mom, motherhood, newborn, postpartum depression
    Helping with the house while Mom sleeps can be a huge help.

    ‘You’re doing such a great job, I know it’s hard sometimes. [heart emoji]‘

    Encouragement is so important for new parents. It’s common to feel like you have no idea what you’re doing with a new baby, while desperately wanting to not screw it up. And when you’re struggling with PPD, the guilt over feeling unable to care for your child the way you want to makes all of that worse. Being told you’re doing a good job feels like a refreshing drink of water.

    ‘Look how sweet she is she’s the cutest little thing, I’m obsessed with the precious photo editing app you told me about.’ [baby photo]

    When you’re wrapped up in all the feelings, hormones, and overwhelm of new motherhood with PPD piled on top of it, it’s easy to lose perspective. Seeing reality through a loved one’s eyes can sometimes help ease some of the distorted thinking.

    The beauty in this message is there’s no shame or guilt attached to it. Some people might say something like, “Why are you sad? You have a beautiful, healthy baby!” which often just leads the mom to feeling guilty about feelings she can’t control. This text makes no judgments, and, in fact, reminds the mom of something positive she has done for her family.

    Overwhelmed mother next to baby’s crib.

    ‘Pete mentioned it was a long night with baby girl. I’m doing a Starbucks run and will drop off breakfast for you on the porch.’

    This one might just be the best. Asking if someone wants help is great. But sometimes just doing the thing without asking, especially if it’s not intrusive in any way, is the way to go. Saying, “I’m heading out for food. I’m going to grab you some and drop it on your porch,” removes any obligation from the equation. No decision had to be made. No pressure to interact or entertain, which can be a big load off. And no guilt over the state of the house or your lack of a shower, which is huge.

    As one commenter wrote, “Starbucks left on the porch…that’s someone who just wants to love and help without intruding. She’s a gem, keep her.”

    What are some common signs of PPD?

    Hormonal fluctuations after birth can cause a lot of emotional ups and downs. What makes postpartum depression different from the “baby blues” is the intensity and severity of the downs.

    According to the Cleveland Clinic, these symptoms can be signs you might be struggling with PPD:

    • Feeling sad, worthless, hopeless, or guilty
    • Worrying excessively or feeling on edge
    • Loss of interest in hobbies or things you usually enjoy
    • Changes in appetite or not eating
    • Loss of energy and motivation
    • Trouble sleeping or wanting to sleep all the time
    • Crying for no reason or excessively
    • Difficulty thinking or focusing
    • Lack of interest in your baby or feeling anxious around your baby

    If you’ve recently given birth and these symptoms sound familiar, definitely have a conversation about what you’re feeling with your doctor. And if you know someone who is struggling postpartum, support is crucial. In addition to helping them find professional help, providing encouragement and practical help, especially without having to be asked, can be invaluable.

    Keep Reading →
  • Parents start family tradition where kids pitch their ideas for the next vacation
    Photo credit: Instagram/@kendraalley [with permission] – Kendra Alley's sons give pitch presentation for family vacation pick.
    ,

    Parents start family tradition where kids pitch their ideas for the next vacation

    “You could see his confidence building as he presented.”

    Emily Shiffer

    Building confidence isn’t easy at any age, but for mom Kendra Alley, she is making sure she starts the process early. By getting creative, she’s teaching her young sons about confidence.

    The married mom-of-three shared her family’s new tradition that doubles as a confidence-building technique. When each child turns 10 years old, they get to choose where the family goes on vacation.

    The caveat: they must do a pitch-presentation explaining where they want to go and why. “In our family, turning 10 means you pick the family trip. Anywhere in the world. But you have to research it … and present it to us,” she explained in an Instagram post.

    The pitch-presentation, explained

    Alley told Upworthy more details about what the presentation entails, and why she and her husband have their sons do it.

    “Whenever one of our boys turns 10, they get to choose anywhere in the world for a family trip. They have to research the destination, and present it to the family,” she shared. “We give them a simple outline to follow (where, why, things you want to do, things your want to buy, things you want to eat, etc.) We love that it teaches them budgeting, planning, public speaking, patience (they make the presentation about two months in advance, but we know their location months before that), and gratitude all wrapped into something exciting and memorable.”

    She adds, “One of my favorite parts is that they have to think about and anticipate the trip for a long time. In a world of instant gratification, there’s something really special about waiting, preparing, and building excitement as a family. I honestly think the anticipation makes the experience even sweeter for them. They don’t want to waste a second.”

    The tradition began in 2024, when their oldest son turned 10. He chose to go to Loch Lyme in New Hampshire (and drive there in an RV). And this year, her second oldest son turned 10. For his trip, he chose Hawaii.

    Her second son gives his presentation

    Alley captioned the video of her second son Loch’s presentation, “I’m so proud of him, he was so nervous. You could see his confidence building as he presented.”

    “Let’s do it!” Alley encourages him, and her husband shouts, “You’ve got this, my man!”

    He stands in front of them in the family’s living room with a microphone and a presentation of slides on the TV. He is clearly nervous, and Alley says to him, “Just start by telling us why we’re here!”

    As he speaks about his dream to travel to Hawaii (while dressed in an on-theme Hawaiian shirt), he visibly becomes more secure in himself as he details things he wants to eat (like shaved ice), the top things he wants to see (“Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa which are the twin mountains that kind of look like butt cheeks”), and do (like swim with sharks), and more.

    She also told Upworthy, “This video was from our middle son’s presentation for Hawaii. My eldest’s trip was two years ago, and MUCH different. I think parents are craving meaningful experiences and traditions that bring everyone together.”

    Viewers respond

    Many parents and viewers were inspired by the Alley’s family tradition, and shared their thoughts in the comments:

    “Love this. As someone who teaches people public speaking and presentation skills, this is amazing. I have never thought about having my own kids develop their skills in this area.”

    “Bravo to the parents. Persuasive speaking, presentation design, research, and then he gets the experiences of travel on top of it. I love this 👏.”

    “I implore folks to MAKE YOUR KID DO SMALL PRESENTATIONS LIKE THIS AS EARLY AND OFTEN AS POSSIBLE! Thank me later! —-A former high school public speaking teacher.”

    “Love his close – end with a question and a big ask. He’s got a future in sales 👏.”

    “I told my daughter we were doing this after you told me this idea and she is pre-planning for Japan 😭🙏🏼🤣.”

    “I love someone who dresses the theme!”

    “This is the sweetest 🥹❤️.”

    “I just love this so much! Such epic parenting….from a non parent 😂.”

    “Stealing this for my future children.”

    Keep Reading →
  • Why people have been accidentally giving Einstein credit for this powerful quote about fairytales
    https://www.canva.com/photos/MAG3IPmP7w8-father-and-son-reading-book-together-on-sofa-at-home/A quote about reading fairytales to children is often attributed to Albert Einstein.
    ,

    Why people have been accidentally giving Einstein credit for this powerful quote about fairytales

    “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

    Emily Shiffer

    German physicist Albert Einstein was a genius. Many people view him as a wise authority on life advice and wisdom, and numerous Albert Einstein quotes are now famous.

    One topic he shared his insights on is parenting. Einstein was a father of three, and he shared his thoughts on how to raise resilient kids.

    But there is one parenting quote often attributed to Einstein that he did not say. The topic: how to make children more intelligent.

    Einstein’s misattributed quote

    The famous quote people assume Einstein said is:

    “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

    However, the quote has not been verified as directly coming from Einstein. Folklorist Stephen Winick at the American Folklife Center of the Library of Congress explained the “folklore” behind the quote and how it’s been spread throughout the years.

    The story about Einstein’s fairytale quote

    According to Winick, Einstein may in fact have said the quote (or a version of it), but it was likely misconstrued throughout the years.

    “As a result of this oral, print, and electronic transmission, the story of Einstein advocating fairy tales resembles other folk stories: it exists in multiple versions that vary in their details,” he explained.

    He traced the history of Einstein’s quote using the Library of Congress resources, noting that the quote was first shared in print in 1958 by librarian Elizabeth Margulis in an article titled “Fairy Tales and More Fairy Tales” in the New Mexico Library Bulletin.

    Margulis shared a story about an interaction she heard about between Einstein and another woman, where the woman asked him advice on how to help her son become a scientist:

    “In Denver I heard a story about a woman who was friendly with the late Dr. Einstein, surely acknowledged as an outstanding ‘pure’ scientist. She wanted her child to become a scientist, too, and asked Dr. Einstein for his suggestions for the kind of reading the child might do in his school years to prepare him for this career. To her surprise Dr. Einstein recommended ‘fairy tales and more fairy tales.’ The mother protested this frivolity and asked for a serious answer, but Dr. Einstein persisted, adding that creative imagination is the essential element in the intellectual equipment of the true scientist, and that fairy tales are the childhood stimulus of this quality! (p.3)”

    @nicholas

    The #final #words of Albert Einstein #learnontiktok #epitaph #history #historybuff

    ♬ Paper Birds (3 min) – Jordan Halpern Schwartz

    Modern-day misinformation on Einstein’s quote

    The story shared by Margulis has been the crux of the quote’s origin, but it was not a firsthand account. Winick adds that her story was then re-shared by another famous children’s librarian in 1958, and another version of the story was given in a 1963 library publication by author Doris Gates, furthering its spread.

    Winick cites an article by children’s librarian Jane Buel Bradley to explain:

    “…Doris Gates, writer and children’s librarian, reports that Albert Einstein told an anxious mother who wanted to help her child become a scientist: ‘First, give him fairy tales; second, give him fairy tales, and third, give him fairy tales!’”

    Since the 1960s, the quote has continued to take on a life of its own. However, evidence of Einstein ever saying it has yet to be confirmed.

    Keep Reading →
  • Woman with an unfortunate name has a hilarious warning for all parents-to-be
    Photo credit: Canva – A woman is suprosed after reading something on her computer
    ,

    Woman with an unfortunate name has a hilarious warning for all parents-to-be

    Her name is Samantha Hart. Her professional email address is the problem.

    Tod Perry

    Upworthy Staff

    The recent trend of parents going out of their way to give their children unique names has brought up a lot of discussion on social media. Some of these names sound cute when a child is 5 years old. But will Caeleigh, Zoomer or Rhyedyr look like a serious adult on a job application in a few years?

    A recent viral video on TikTok is a unique twist on the current discussion surrounding names. Samantha Hart has a name that doesn’t seem like it would draw any negative attention in professional circles. However, her parents didn’t consider email conventions when they named her back in the late ‘90s when email was new.

    Her name was fine, but her email was not

    “My name is Samantha Hart,” she said. “Most companies use the email designation of first initial, last name, meaning my email would be ‘shart.’” For the uninitiated, a “shart” is an unintentional release when one thinks they only have gas. Yikes.

    @thesam_show

    sorry if i talk about this problem too much but it is HAPPENING AGAIN!!

    ♬ original sound – Sam Showalter

    The issue arose because Samantha has had two “professional” jobs in the past in which her name has been an issue. So, as she began a third job, she wondered how to approach the situation with a new employer.

    “At every single workplace, I have received an email from HR the week before I start letting me know that my name does not exactly fit the company email structure as they would intend and [asked] would I mind if they gave me a different structure for my email,” Hart said.

    So she asked her followers on TikTok if she should just “reach out, right off the bat” to her employer and ask for “something else” or wait for HR to react to her email situation. But most of the responses were from people who have been in the same embarrassing situation as Samantha and wished their parents had thought twice before naming them.

    She was definitely not alone in this

    “Clittmann has entered the chat. Have been dealing with this since college,” Chris.Littmann responded.

    “As Swallo, I feel your pain,” Samantha Wallo replied.

    “My name is Sue Hartlove so my work emails are always shartlove,” Sue added.

    “I went to college w Tiffany Estes,” Abby1233213 wrote.

    “Rkelley has entered the chat,” Rach commented.

    “Worked with a guy named Sam Adcock,” Lori added.

    “My last name is Hartstein, and my mom’s personal email is ‘shartstein.’ People literally call her shart-stein,” Lyss wrote.

    “I used to work with a BAllsman,” JenniferKerastas added.

    “I worked with a Patrick Ecker at a previous job…” NoName wrote.

    “Our high school used last name, first two letters of first name. My friend’s email ended up being ‘mountme,’” Averageldeal commented.

    Andy Marks won the comment section with: “Always best to initiate the shart convo… wait too long and it tends to come out at the least opportune moment.”

    baby names, unfortunate names, funny, TikTok, viral story, parenting, work email, professional life, Samantha Hart, shart
    Woman types on her phone. Photo credit: Canva

    What the IT experts had to say

    While the comments were dominated by people sharing their unfortunate email addresses, a few people in the IT field shared their advice for how Samantha should approach her new employer with her email issue. Most agreed that she should address the issue before it becomes a larger problem.

    “As someone in IT—please reach out. When we have to rename a bunch of logins after someone starts it can cause headaches for everyone (inc you!),” Kelsey Lane wrote.

    Expecting parents, please take notes.

    As a postscript, Hart later told BuzzFeed that she was getting married and would be taking her new husband’s last name. “I actually will be sad when I change my last name,” she said. “It’s such an iconic thing, and it’s something that I’ve turned into a kind of lore for myself.”

    This article originally appeared three years ago.

    Keep Reading →
  • “You deserve better”: Mom leaves her husband after he refuses to clean up for 6 days straight
    Lynalice Bandy shares what her home looks like after working six 10-hour days and getting no help from her husband.
    ,

    “You deserve better”: Mom leaves her husband after he refuses to clean up for 6 days straight

    That’s the sound of women everywhere applauding.

    Tod Perry

    Upworthy Staff

    Household inequity is getting better in some households. In others, it’s completely out of control. A viral TikTok video highlights an extreme version of inequality that many wives and mothers in heterosexual relationships face. However, the mom in this story hit her limit and won’t deal with it anymore. Lynalice Bandy, who goes by @5kids5catssomedogstoo on TikTok, posted a video that showed her home looking like a disaster after she worked six 10-hour days straight while her husband did nothing to help.

    @5kids2catsandsomechaos

    #divorce #parentingfail #messyhouse #whenwomen #depressionanxiety #clean #satifying

    ♬ SUN GOES DOWN – Andreas Roehrig

    Her time-lapse video shows every room in the house completely trashed, with toys, food, and laundry scattered everywhere. “Shampoo on the carpets in the girls’ room, nail polish all over nugget covers, hair, and carpet. Scissors were used to cut hair, the down comforter, the mattress cover, and two nugget covers,” wrote the mom. “I’ve worked six, ten-hour days in a row with only one day off being a sick day,” she captioned the video. “I’d like to pretend I’m not the only person who cleans here, but as you can see…These rooms don’t get much attention when I’m not here.”

    She says her husband’s excuse was that he was focused on doing his schoolwork and couldn’t pay attention to the kids. “Now, that school is out for a break, he doesn’t have that excuse anymore,” Bandy says, noting that all of his attention has been focused on “the four vehicles in our driveway that he wants to work on continuously.”

    She packed up and didn’t look back

    In a follow-up video, Bandy announced that she left her husband after the debacle.

    The original video received over 17,000 comments, many of which were from supportive women. “You deserve much better, and he deserves to be alone. Much love to you from someone that left that life behind almost 20 yrs ago. You’ll get here, too,” Angela LaRoche wrote.

    “Ma’am, you are nothing short of amazing! Hang in there!” Japanese with Jenny wrote. “That home is beautiful because of YOU,” Hillary added. “You put in so much work, and it is not unseen by me and so many others. But, you DO deserve better. Proud of you.”

    @5kids2catsandsomechaos

    Sounds about right…

    ♬ Fuck you by Lily Allan – Jess🏹

    Even though Bandy’s experience with her husband is an extreme case of a couple whose domestic duties are way out of balance, it points to a problem that plagues many households. Even though families are becoming more equal, women still do significantly more housework than men.

    The numbers tell an even bigger story

    A study utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ American Time Use Survey found that women 15 years and older spend 5.7 hours daily doing housework and looking after kids and elders. Men in the same age group do an average of 3.6 hours of daily domestic work. That’s a 37% difference in time spent on household responsibilities.

    Further, women who work an average of 35 hours a week spend 4.9 hours a day on household chores and child care, while men who work the same amount spend an average of 3.8 hours.

    @5kids2catsandsomechaos

    Can you spot how many times Winky sits in a box or plops for belly rubs? #cleaning #messyhouse #clean #timelapse #oddlysatisfying #grwm #carpetcleaning #cattok

    ♬ If I Go, I’m Goin – Gregory Alan Isakov

    The comments show that many women are frustrated with their husbands for not doing their fair share. Hopefully, this video will encourage more people to speak out about domestic inequality and for more men to step up and do their part.

    Here is where she is now

    Nearly two years after Lynalice left her husband, she and her five children are living together in a new home. Her recent videos show that she’s having difficulty keeping it clean because she’s been working 60-plus hours a week and suffers from ADHD. Being the single mother of five has to be tough, so she has developed a new motto: “Progress, not perfection.” In November 2024, she shared a video of her and her family getting things together in their new home.

    This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

    Keep Reading →
  • His mother gave him the ‘husbands in training’ course every parent should give their kids
    The mother of artist Doug Weaver made a curriculum for him for dating
    ,

    His mother gave him the ‘husbands in training’ course every parent should give their kids

    This is exactly the kind of parenting more people wish they had received.

    Tod Perry

    Upworthy Staff

    Even though the marriage rate in the United States is on a steep decline, chances are that the majority of kids growing up today will get married at some point in their lives. If current trends continue, roughly 40% of those marriages will end in divorce, according to current research.

    Research published in the Couple and Family Psychology journal found that the top five reasons for divorce are a lack of commitment, infidelity, too much conflict, getting married young, and financial problems.

    Wouldn’t it be great if we were taught from a young age how to be a good spouse so we could avoid these pitfalls? Many of them are totally solvable with good communication and commitment from both parties. But in American culture, most of us aren’t taught the specifics of how to have a happy and healthy marriage. Most of us tend to pick things up from watching the married people in our orbit, most likely our parents.

    No comment on how that’s going.

    The other way we learn is by making the mistakes ourselves. By then, it’s usually too late. And the data around second and third marriages isn’t very promising when you dig into it.

    One mom decided to do something about it

    Artist Doug Weaver had a much different upbringing. His mother, Mickey, made a curriculum for him and his two older brothers when they were kids to help them be great husbands when they got married.

    You’ve heard of things like “Mom-Son Date Night” (some dads and daughters do it, too) where mothers will take their boys out on a “date” so they can learn basic chivalry and manners?

    Weaver’s training was like that on steroids.

    “When I was a kid, my mom did this thing for me and my two older brothers called ‘Husbands in Training,’” he explained in a TikTok video that has more than 5.9 million views. “It was a full, multiple-level curriculum on how to be a better husband.”

    @dougweaverart

    Husbands in training! #parenting #storytime #story

    ♬ original sound – dougweaverart

    Weaver says the training covered topics from chivalry to eating to a rather uncomfortable discussion on “the ethics of the porn industry.” His mother also stressed the importance of listening to women and identifying when another man may be giving them trouble.

    “There was a lot of really good stuff in that curriculum,” Doug said. “There were things like what to do if your spouse says something and the information they give is wrong. How to handle it if they say something wrong in public versus in private, when it is appropriate to correct them and when it isn’t.”

    Weaver’s mother was also way ahead of her time because she made a big deal about teaching her sons the importance of consent. “We talked about consent, we talked about the basics of respecting and honoring women and listening to women, and all of the things that really just make you a decent human being,” Doug explained.

    A young Doug must have absolutely hated sitting through conversations with his mom about porn, sex, and consent… but as a grown man, he looks back on the lessons fondly.

    The curriculum was so good, dad enrolled too

    The lessons were so powerful that even Weaver’s father decided to take the course. “A lot of the things that we were learning from my mom were things that he was never taught growing up,” Weaver said. “So, he decided he also wanted to take ‘Husbands in Training.’”

    It brings to mind pre-marriage counseling or couples therapy. Programs are often offered (or mandated) through churches, so they aren’t usually a great fit for the non-religious. And couples without active “problems” may resist the idea of attending couples therapy due to the stubborn stigma around it.

    The course officially ended when Weaver and his brothers got married. “My mom even made certificates of completion that she signed and gave to each of us on our wedding day,” he shared in his TikTok clip.

     

    However, the video Weaver shared was so popular on TikTok that he’s making his mother’s course available to the general public. “After posting about ‘Husbands in Training’ on TikTok, the TT community really wants my mom to produce content about raising boys to be good men,” he wrote on a GoFundMe fundraising campaign in 2022.

    Now the lessons are available to everyone

    The overwhelming response to Weaver’s TikTok has inspired a YouTube channel to spread Mickey’s lessons far and wide. But it has also made a lot of people realize that teaching people how to be great spouses is a lifelong journey and should be a major part of child-rearing. Learning how to be a good spouse shouldn’t just be something we pick up by accident.

    As for Doug Weaver, his training appears to be paying off in the form of a happy marriage. He has since said he plans to adapt the curriculum for his own children, with a particular focus on consent and healthy conflict resolution.

    This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

    Keep Reading →
button, vintage, tagua nut
Generations

What are tagua nuts, and why did so many people wear them in the 1920s?

jeans, fashion history, history, levis
Culture

The fascinating 150-year-old reason why all your jeans have those weird metal buttons on them

teachers, education, high school, school, students, gen z, millennials, gen alpha, generations, appearances, looking young, viral trends, viral videos, instagram, social media, teenagers
Generations

‘Spot the teacher’ trend hilariously highlights how adults are looking younger and younger

snoop dogg, bad bunny, audrey hepburn, cool generations
Pop Culture

Expert reveals the linguistic quirk that explains why every generation loves the word ‘cool’

Judge Frank Caprio, court, compassion, pregnancy loss, justice
Family

Man ran a red light rushing to his wife. What the judge did next left the courtroom silent.

Get stories worth sharing delivered to your inbox.

Advertisement

Featured

All Featured Stories →
nurse, saves, woman, persistent cough, misdiagnosis
Science

Doctors kept dismissing her persistent cough. One heroic nurse refused to let it go.

Adam Albright-Hanna & Upworthy Staff
Natalie Jane, concerts, apology, wholesome, music
Culture

Singer stopped her concert when she saw a fan’s sign. His confession was 20 years in the making.

Adam Albright-Hanna & Upworthy Staff
sports, cardiac arrest, AED, heroism, Massachusetts
Culture

Basketball coach collapsed 3 minutes into the game. The rival coach’s next move saved his life.

Adam Albright-Hanna & Upworthy Staff
cute kid videos, family humor, wholesome videos
Uncategorized

Mom puts a camera on her 2-year-old daughter as she takes a solo journey to ‘Mimi’s house’

Heather Wake & Upworthy Staff