Procrastinator? Me too. These 5 tips really helped me get to work.

Let’s get this out of the way: I’m a procrastinator. It’s likely you are too. There’s nothing I enjoy more than writing — OK, sleeping is a close second — but when I open a new Word document to type out a story, I immediately begin to think about things that I would much rather…

Let’s get this out of the way: I’m a procrastinator. It’s likely you are too.

There’s nothing I enjoy more than writing — OK, sleeping is a close second — but when I open a new Word document to type out a story, I immediately begin to think about things that I would much rather be doing right now. You know, like washing every dish in the house or seeing just how many YouTube videos I can watch in an hour.

Don’t worry, we’re not alone:


https://twitter.com/Eden_Eats/status/976878516456382464
https://twitter.com/BarbiHoneycutt/status/976836139872145409
https://twitter.com/HeatherMatarazz/status/973594236112089088
https://twitter.com/sophiebushwick/status/979098067608752130

If you need more evidence that so many of us (20% of people worldwide are “true procrastinators”) are putting off the things we could be doing until tomorrow — “a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation, and achievement is stored” — you need to check out this video that’s going viral.

It’s a lecture by professor and procrastination researcher Timothy Pychyl. The video was originally shot in 2012, but you won’t be surprised to learn that not much has changed for all us procrastinators out there.

Check it out if you’re looking to understand and change some of your procrastination behaviors.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=mhFQA998WiA

Ah, you’ve scrolled past the video, just as I suspected you would. My guess is that your first thought was “This video is 58 minutes long!” and your second thought was “I’ll definitely watch this over the weekend.” Or maybe, like one Redditor, you’ve saved it to watch at 3 a.m. when “all other options have been exhausted.”

https://twitter.com/DylanReeve/status/979137346917421056

You know how I know? I’ve done this, too. So how do you break the cycle? And why should breaking it even matter? Well, here are five procrastination facts to seriously convince you to change your habits, gleaned from personal experience and boiled down from those 58 minutes I watched on your behalf.

1. Procrastination isn’t ever actually fun.

Think back to the last time you procrastinated. Did you have a good time? Maybe a little, because it feels good to give in to avoiding something — at least at first. It’s probable, though, as you watched a movie or baked cookies or scrolled social media and checked your email for the umpteenth time that you also felt guilty. And that’s because you know you were putting off something that could have and should have been done right now.

And if we’re being really honest, Pychyl points out in the video, behaviors we perform while procrastinating are often “moral in nature” — like cooking and cleaning. It’s a way of assuaging some of our guilt for choosing to leave the taxes for another day (even though the deadline is looming).

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As my thesis advisor once told me as I made another excuse for not having a part of my draft finished, “You’re turning a little discomfort now into a lot of suffering later.” She was right.

Sure, my house had never been cleaner (to the delight of my husband), but I also had to suffer the pain of writing a 40-page paper in less than two weeks. Not something I  recommend.

2. Procrastination can have devastating effects.

One lie we tell ourselves when we procrastinate, Pychyl says, is that we do much better under pressure. Of course, that’s not at all true. In the video, Pychyl says that those who procrastinate tend to make more errors. And that leads to poorer quality work. (Research supports this.)

That’s not all, though. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but new findings show that chronic procrastination can lead to a host of health problems because putting important things off causes stress, making you vulnerable to headaches, insomnia, and even hypertension or cardiovascular disease.

[rebelmouse-image 19534283 dam=1 original_size=”480×366″ caption=”GIF from “The Simpsons.”” expand=1]

People who procrastinate, Pychyl warns, also have a harder time eating well, exercising, and taking care of themselves otherwise. That’s because, as he puts it, procrastination isn’t a time-management issue (so that planner isn’t going to help you on its own) but an existential one. You procrastinate to (unconsciously) avoid getting on with life.

3. Before you stop procrastinating, you have to realize you won’t accomplish this goal overnight.

If you’ve ever tried to achieve a goal — or several — at one time, you know what happens. You’ll start off strong, promising yourself that this is when you’ll really start kicking butt and taking names. And suddenly you’re exhausted and don’t know if you have the strength to carry on.

That’s actually not uncommon. While most of us view self-control as limitless, the reality is that it’s more like a muscle — building it up takes time and effort. You’re going to have to break your goal up into bite-sized pieces instead of viewing them as huge obstacles.

Whenever I’m getting ready to procrastinate (*cough* as soon as I was assigned this post *cough*), I’m reminded of this quote by Mark Twain:

“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”

What that boils down to (because boiling frogs is the healthiest way to eat them), is that if you know you’ve got something to do, try to do it as soon as possible so that it’s over with. And do the part you’re least interested in first.

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Here’s another tip, this one from author James Clear: “If it takes less than two minutes, do it now.” More on that:

Want to become a better writer? Just write one sentence (2–Minute Rule), and you’ll often find yourself writing for an hour.”

Want to run three times a week? Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, just get your running shoes on and get out the door (2–Minute Rule), and you’ll end up putting mileage on your legs instead of popcorn in your stomach.”

4. Just the fact that you spent two minutes reading this piece means you’re on the way to ending your procrastination.

That wasn’t so bad, was it? Let’s take a moment to mark this monumental occasion with this video of a dog riding a skateboard (a perfectly beautiful and natural thing for dogs to do).

Now back to the important stuff:

As you practice not putting things off, you build up your belief in yourself. And that belief translates to a change in your habits and identity. The catch, though, is that you can’t go too fast, and you can’t put off the small steps until tomorrow or next week or the first of the month.

You’ve got to start taking care of what you’ve been putting off now. Stop and think what you can accomplish in a few minutes. Just start. Don’t think about it.

5. The most important step? Something called “implementation intention.”

You know what’s on your to-do list because it’s keeping you up at night. You promise yourself you’ll get it done first thing tomorrow, but another day has come and gone, and you’re still stuck in the same place. That’s not because you’re lazy but because, as Pychyl says, procrastination is “the gap between intention and action.”

Let’s make that even simpler: The problem isn’t that you don’t know what to do, it’s that you don’t know how to do it. The items on your list — even ones like “clean the house” or “get back to people” — are big and vague enough that you don’t know where to get started.

In the video, Pychyl says that when he asks a grad student what they’re working on and they say “my thesis,” he knows that they’re not getting any work done. Wasn’t the same true for you when you said “I’ll do my homework” rather than saying “I’ll do the problems I have for math followed by the paper I’ve got for English”?

Implementation intention, based on the work of researcher and New York University professor Peter Gollwitzer, is the idea is that you break goals down into the following formula: “In situation X, I will do behavior Y to achieve subgoal Z.” You give yourself concrete plans that don’t just include an intention but a clear plan for your action.

[rebelmouse-image 19534285 dam=1 original_size=”480×260″ caption=”GIF from “Home Alone.”” expand=1]

That turns “I’ll definitely clean the entire house on Sunday” to “On Sunday morning, I’ll do my dishes and mop the floor so that my kitchen is clean.”

It’s really as simple as that (and research shows that it works).

And if you find that you don’t feel like it? Well, Pychyl knows that you won’t. But learning to regulate your emotions is an important part of learning not to procrastinate.

“When I ask my children about feeding the fish, dogs, or horses (or any other chore, including homework), and they say, ‘I don’t feel like, I don’t want to,’ my typical response is, ‘I didn’t ask you how you felt or what you want to do. I asked you about that action,’” Pychyl writes in a blog post.

In short, recognize that “‘I don’t feel like it’ is not a reason, it’s an excuse.”

  • She “nagged” her husband about the car seat. Moments later, he called her from a crash.
    A baby strapped into the car seatPhoto credit: Canva
    ,

    She “nagged” her husband about the car seat. Moments later, he called her from a crash.

    She calls it her “annoying nagging mom voice” and it’s a real life-saver.

    On her first day back at work after maternity leave, Rebecca Tafaro Boyer wasn’t ready to be apart from her 3-month-old. She asked her husband David to send her hourly updates on how baby William was doing without her.

    David was a good sport about it. He texted throughout the day, including a photo of William buckled into his Britax car seat as they headed out to Walgreens. Rebecca looked at the photo and immediately texted back. The straps were too loose. The chest clip was too low. “And because I know my husband,” she later wrote on Facebook, “I’m sure that he laughed at me and rolled his eyes before tightening the car seat and fixing the chest clip.”

    Fifteen minutes later, her phone rang.

    “Honey, we had a car wreck. We are fine, but the car is going to be totaled.”

    Less than three miles from their Memphis home, another driver had pulled into traffic to turn left and David hadn’t had time to stop. He hit the front passenger side door at nearly 50 miles per hour. David ended up on crutches with three shattered bones in his foot and three dislocated toes. The car was a total loss.

    William didn’t even wake up.

    “My precious little bundle of joy was so well restrained in his car seat THAT HE DIDN’T EVEN WAKE UP,” Boyer wrote. “Even with the impact of the two cars, William only received a minor jolt — so insignificant that he was able to continue on with his nap, and then spend the next two hours flirting with nurses in the Le Bonheur ED.”

    Boyer posted the story on Facebook at a friend’s request, expecting it to stay within her circle. She was stunned when it was shared more than 45,000 times. She told TODAY that her goal was simple: car seats save lives, and the difference between a properly secured infant and a loosely buckled one can be the difference between a nap and a tragedy.

    “I truly believe that the reason my family is at home sitting on the couch with a pair of crutches instead of down at the hospital is because of my annoying nagging mom voice,” she wrote.

    When readers identified the Britax BSafe 35 as the seat that protected William, the company reached out to offer a free replacement — once a car seat has been in a crash, it can’t be used again. Boyer and David had already replaced it through insurance, so she asked Britax to donate a seat to the Forrest Spence Fund, a Memphis nonprofit that helps families of critically ill children with everyday needs. Their original seat went to the NICU at Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital to be used in car seat safety education for new parents.

    As for David: “My husband says, ‘I’m never going to live this down, am I?’” Boyer said, laughing.

    He is correct.

    This article originally appeared four years ago.

  • Historian debunks the notion that grief in ‘Hamnet’ was portrayed unrealistically for the time
    Were medieval parents less attached to their children?Photo credit: Living History by Dr Julia Martins/YouTube

    The majority of parents today have never known the pain of losing a child. Sadly, that was not the case throughout history. Before the 20th century, many parents could expect one or more of their children to die before reaching adulthood, usually due to infectious disease.

    As in the book it was based on, the film adaptation of Hamnet centers on parental grief. Even if you haven’t seen the movie, there’s a good chance you’ve seen the tear-streaked aftermath of others who have.

    Jessie Buckley’s Oscar-winning performance as a grieving mother wrecked audiences far and wide. Her improvised, guttural scream after her child’s death went straight to the heart. Her calling the scream “ancient” couldn’t feel more accurate.

    @screenplayed

    Jessie Buckley talks about this moment in Hamnet wasn’t in the script. It came up on the day. Buckley is nominated for an Academy Award for her performance. What do you think of the film? 🎥 #hamnet #jessiebuckley #academyawards #oscars #filmtok

    ♬ original sound – Screenplayed

    However, some people have questioned whether the film’s intense portrayal of grief is realistic for the time period. Naturally, we would expect a child’s death to devastate a parent today. But was that the case historically? Did parents mourn the loss of a child as hard or as long when nearly half of children died? Would knowing you were likely to lose a child, or multiple children, make their deaths easier to handle?

    The idea that parents hundreds of years ago weren’t as emotionally attached to their kids isn’t new, even in academic circles. Dr. Julia Martins, a historian, explored the debate in a YouTube video titled “Did They Love Their Children? The History of Grief.”

    It began with French historian Philippe Ariès, who published a book in 1960 about childhood through the centuries.

    “Ariès argued that the concept of childhood as a distinct, protected phase of life is a modern invention that only emerged around the 17th century,” Martins said. “Children were understood as mini adults and, from the time they were around seven, they mixed with the adult world. He suggested that, because of the incredibly high infant mortality, parents were forced to be emotionally distant and not get too attached to their children, who might not live to see their first birthday. This indifference would be a defense mechanism. Expecting to lose half the children you had would make you not as emotionally invested in them.”

    In his 1977 book The Family, Sex and Marriage in England 1500–1800, historian Lawrence Stone also posited that colder, more pragmatic family relationships were the norm. In his assessment, the affectionate, loving bonds we associate with family today developed late in our history.

    However, by the 1980s, historians began to question this idea. Martins pointed out that Ariès relied on paintings from the past to draw his conclusions.

    For her 1983 book Forgotten Children, historian Linda Pollock focused her research on diaries and autobiographies from the 16th to 19th centuries. She argued that parents have always had intense love for their children and felt a deep sense of loss when they died.

    Martins’ own examination of the historical record has led her to the same conclusion. The difference, she suggested, lies in how parents coped with the pain of losing a child.

    “We forget how deeply religious early modern Europe was,” Martins said. “Could this indifference be religious resignation, instead of lack of affection? In a world where people understood death as God’s will, parents might console themselves thinking things like ‘The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away.’ That doesn’t mean they weren’t grieving, but rather that they were focusing on the child being in heaven and accepting God’s will. Ariès interpreted this as a lack of feeling. But you could argue that this was a coping strategy for deep pain. The grief was real; the cultural script for expressing it was different.”

    And of course, grief is and has always been an individual experience. Even in Hamnet, the parents express their grief differently, despite losing the same child.

    People in the comments on Martins’ video reiterated how historical artifacts demonstrate expressions of parental grief:

    “Sometimes I find myself thinking of the skull of the ancient Greek child with the crown of painted ceramic flowers on her head. Someone loved that child to the point that they couldn’t bear the thought of those flowers wilting.”

    “Whenever I hear the claim that people didn’t grieve their children, I think of the ancient graves we find where children are so carefully prepared for burial, with a toy (obviously made by hand, so carrying a time cost and not quickly replaceable) buried with them. That doesn’t seem like the actions of a parent who doesn’t care.”

    “My favorite example about children always being children are ancient Egyptian ‘hot wheels’: toys shaped like a tiny chariot or wagon with wheels on it, and holes to put a string through… I can’t erase the mental image I got of an ancient Egyptian child thousands of years ago running around lugging A TOY CAR around, forgetting or breaking it and crying to parents, or being happy about getting a new one as a holiday gift, nothing really changed.”

    “Cicero was inconsolable when his daughter Tullia died. Julius Caesar, who had also lost his daughter Julia, his only child, wrote to him to offer sympathy. They had a whole correspondence on grief. Cicero built a temple (lost today) to the memory of his daughter. The idea that parents from the past did not care is ludicrous.”

    “It always felt to me so strange to figure that people in the past ‘wouldn’t care so much’ for their kids because a lot of children died. Two things can be true at the same time. People surely knew that lots of people died in a very early age AND that doesn’t diminish any kind of bond or attachment. Ironically, it’s this theory itself that IS detached (from reality): humans are social creatures!”

  • ‘Old soul’ kid chooses his own name, then cracks himself up for a full minute
    A child with glasses laughing.Photo credit: Canva

    Donna Whelan describes her young son, Jacob, as an “old soul,” and well over a million people on social media seem to agree. She shares many adorable clips of him online, but one recent video of Jacob choosing his own name might just take the cake.

    In a clip from Donna’s Instagram page, she begins to ask Jacob a question: “Right, if you could choose a name for yourself…” She doesn’t even have a chance to finish before he confidently answers, “Roberto,” playing with a small lock of hair behind his ear. Just as quickly, he bursts into laughter and can’t seem to stop. “Didn’t even finish the sentence, and I gave ya an answer. Roberto!”

    Donna asks, “Do you like that name?” It’s now time for Jacob to get serious. “Yeah. Roberto is my favorite name.” He puts his hands into a pyramid, not unlike a politician or a TED Talk speaker. “When you think of… say Roberto slowly, though. Ro-bert-to. Ro-ber-toe. Rubber toe.” The laughing fit continues, his cheeks turning pink beneath his thick glasses.

    “Why does that name make you laugh so much?” Donna asks. Jacob immediately dissolves into giggles once again. “It’s just a funny name! Rubber toe!” It’s clear he’s not mocking it in any way, but simply delighted by his quick reaction and the joke.

    The laugh is truly infectious. Nearly 75,000 likes and over 3,500 comments (and counting) just heap love onto this child.

    One commenter says, “His little laugh gets me every time.” Another adds, “I actually laughed out loud too when he said ROBERTO😂😂 We never know what he’s going to say next.”

    And of course, a few “Robertos” chime in. “My name is Roberto,” one person says. “What’s so funny about being called Roberto? 😂” Another commenter adds, “Ya gotta say it slowly, though. Then it’s funny, haha.”

    Another Instagrammer shares that their son wanted to change his name when he was young: “My son wanted to change his name to Fun because he just wanted to have fun. His name is Benjamin or Ben. We call him Funjamin or Fun to this day, and he’s 29 years old!”

    This isn’t uncommon. In a piece I wrote for Upworthy a few months ago, I explored a popular parenting Reddit thread where people discussed their kids choosing new names, or even wanting to reinvent themselves.

    “For what it’s worth, I wanted to change my name a million times growing up,” one person confessed. “First, I wanted Dawn, then Angel, and lord knows what after that. I’m sure I went by Lilith during high school for a moment. My parents were so blasé about it. I never did change my name.”

    Another joked, “My son went by Spider-Man for almost a year at age 4. He’s 23 now and happy with his given name.”

    As for Jacob and his mom, who have more than 4 million followers on social media, they continue to delight the Internet with little Jacob-isms. In another popular clip, Jacob shares that he has “had about a million lives.” When Donna asks, “Would you like me to be your mum in every life?” Jacob slyly smiles, nods, and gives a resounding “Yes.”

    In a book by Donna and Jacob, The World According to Jacob: Hilarious Words of Wisdom From a Little Old Soul, they reveal that “Jacob has captured millions of hearts around the world with his infectious sense of humour, his fun, and his cheeky smile.”

  • The 1 mistake grandparents who don’t see their grandkids enough make with their daughter-in-law
    Maria DeLorenzo discusses the MIL/DIL dynamic. Photo credit: @mommom.maria/Instagram

    A grandmother’s candid take on family dynamics is getting people talking, and for many, nodding in agreement. After noticing a recurring question from frustrated grandparents online, one woman decided to address a sensitive topic head-on: why grandchildren often seem to spend more time with their mother’s side of the family.

    In a recent Instagram reel, Maria DeLorenzo, 59, responded to a wave of comments, particularly from mothers-in-law (MIL), wondering how to “counteract” what feels like an uneven relationship. Her answer was simple but eye-opening.

    “Kids live their lives in proximity to their parents,” she said, implying that they’re often closer to their mother. As a result, if grandparents on the father’s side don’t try to “cultivate” a relationship with the mom, aka the daughter-in-law (DIL), they may have fewer opportunities to see their grandchildren as a consequence.

    “It’s not rocket science,” she added. “That’s all there is to it…so choose.”

    That opinion is shared by Cheryl Groskopf, a holistic therapist at Evolution to Healing.

    “It’s important to understand that grandparent relationships usually grow out of the parent relationship first,” Groskopf said. “A child’s primary sense of safety runs through their parent—especially early on. So if a mother feels supported, respected, and emotionally safe with a grandparent…the most effective mindset shift is understanding that connection with the grandchild comes through connection with the parent.”

    Video sparks thoughtful debate

    The Instagram video drew more than 100,000 views and sparked a thoughtful discussion in the comments.

    Many parents shared personal experiences that supported DeLorenzo’s perspective. However, others felt it was an “outdated” view of MIL/DIL dynamics and argued that both the DIL and the son share responsibility for cultivating closeness.

    Even Groskopf agreed that “DILs can also be intentional about creating space for connection. Many grandparents are trying to figure out what their role is in a new family system. Small gestures like sharing updates, inviting them into moments with the child, and acknowledging their excitement about being a grandparent can go a long way toward building safe and supportive relationships.”

    No matter how you slice it, effort and intention from all sides seem to be necessary ingredients for building relationships.

    What a grandparent can do to build a relationship

    Here are some helpful ideas, courtesy of certified parent coach Sari Goodman

    1. Ask the parents, “How can I help?” and then follow through.
    2. Show up without judgment. Your grandkids may not be raised the way you would raise them, but it’s best to keep that to yourself.
    3. Show up with compliments. Notice something the parents do well and share the observation. When the grandkids do something brilliant, adorable, or sweet, point it out.
    4. Follow the rules the parents have established. If, for example, the children aren’t allowed to have sugar, don’t give it to them.
    5. Compliment the DIL’s parents. Did they bring the grandchildren a clever toy? Tell them. Do they have a method for getting the grandchildren into the car calmly? Say you want to learn from them.

    What a DIL can do to cultivate a relationship

    @heyjanellemarie

    Getting On the Same Page ✅ Honestly regardless of age, both parties should always be coming to any relationship with the intention and expextation for mutual respect. But noting that just because a Daughter-In-Law or future daughter-in-law isn’t a child and is in fact a grown person may help guide the approach you take as a parent of an adult or MIL. #relationshipbuilding #healthyrelationships #inlawrelationships #toxicmil #toxicdil #toxicinlaws #mutualrespect #mutualbenefit #opencommunication #effectivecommunication

    ♬ original sound – Janelle Marie

    Here are some helpful ideas from Goodman:

    1. Ask for help. Grandparents want to feel needed. Raising kids is hard. It’s a win-win.
    2. Ask grandparents for their opinion once in a while.
    3. Ask grandparents how things were done when you were a child.
    4. Be clear about the rules and policies you have established for your family.
    5. If the grandparents are babysitting, be sure to show them where the drinks and snacks are.
    6. If the grandparents are babysitting over a mealtime, have a meal prepared for them to eat.
    7. Compliment their grandparenting skills.

    Bottom line: all relationships take work. And very often, whether it’s with grandparents or within friendship circles, that effort pays off exponentially.

  • Mom took her teenage son to the ER, and the doctor seriously doubted their relationship
    A young mom with her kids in the ER.Photo credit: Coffe4LifeSage/TikTok

    Sage Pasch’s unique family situation has attracted a lot of attention recently. The 20-something mother of 2 shared a 6-second TikTok video on September 29 that has been viewed over 48 million times because it shows how hard it can be for young moms to be taken seriously.

    In the video, the young-looking Pasch took her son Nick to the ER after he injured his leg at school. But when the family got to the hospital, the doctor couldn’t believe Pasch was his mother.

    “POV, we’re at the ER, and the doctor didn’t believe I was the parent,” she captioned the post.

    Pasch and her fiancé , Luke Faircloth, adopted the teen in 2022 after his parents tragically died two years apart. “Nick was already spending so much time with us, so it made sense that we would continue raising him,” Pasch told Today.com.

    The couple has two sons together, including toddler Laith, and is now a family of five.

    Pasch says that people are often taken aback by her family when they are out in public. “Everybody gets a little confused because my fiancé and I are definitely younger to have a teenager,” she said. “It can be very frustrating.”

    It may be hard for the young parents to be taken seriously, but their story has made a lot of people in a similar situation feel seen. “Omg, I feel this. I took my son to the ER, and they asked for the guardian. Yes, hi, that’s me,” Brittany wrote in the comments. “Meee with my teenager at a parent-teacher conference. They think I’m her older sister and say we need to talk with your parents,” KatMonroy added.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Her husband got kissed by a stranger at a bar. Her response got more criticism than the woman who did it.
    A man and a woman talk at a barPhoto credit: Canva
    ,

    Her husband got kissed by a stranger at a bar. Her response got more criticism than the woman who did it.

    A night out in Los Angeles turned into a debate about consent, boundaries, and what it actually means to keep your cool.

    When a drunk woman grabbed her husband’s face and kissed him at a Los Angeles bar, @toastedciabatta stayed cool. No confrontation, no scene. When the woman’s friend rushed over to apologize, she smiled and said, “He’s a hot guy, I get it.” Later, when their groups crossed paths again, she let it go entirely.

    She thought she’d handled it well. Then she went home and couldn’t stop replaying it.

    In a TikTok posted in late August, she walked through the whole night, explaining that as her husband stepped up to order drinks, a woman approached him, held his face, and tried to kiss him on the mouth. He turned away just in time, so it landed on his cheek. The woman walked off. A friend of hers spotted the wife nearby and immediately started apologizing. The wife, not wanting to embarrass anyone, kept things light. The friend apologized again, explaining that her friend was very drunk. The wife told her not to worry about it.

    @rjchild

    Is there a “right” way to handle something like that? Did I completely miss my shining opportunity for a justified bar brawl?! #storytime #fypage #dramatiktok #couples #relationships

    ♬ original sound – RJ

    But something about the moment stuck. Not because she wished she’d gotten angry, she made that clear, but because she felt she’d let something genuinely not okay just dissolve into the noise of a crowded bar. In the video, she said she imagined going back and calmly asking the woman if she remembered what she’d done, and making clear that kissing a stranger without their consent isn’t acceptable regardless of how much you’ve had to drink. “Is there a ‘right’ way to handle something like that?” she asked viewers. “Did I completely miss my shining opportunity for a justified bar brawl?”

    The internet had opinions, and they weren’t all what she might have expected. The Mary Sue covered the response, noting that while some viewers backed her composure, “Girl, you’re GENTLE PARENTING at a BAR???” became something of a rallying cry in the comments. A number of people pointed out that the real issue wasn’t how she handled a social awkwardness but that her husband had been kissed without his consent, full stop, and that framing it as a question of her reaction somewhat missed the point. “He was just assaulted in front of you,” one commenter wrote, “and you just asked like ‘you OK that was weird?’”

    Four women sitting at a bar
    Bar patrons drinking on a busy night. Photo credit: Canva

    Others pushed back on that framing, arguing that the woman was clearly too drunk to have a meaningful conversation and that nothing said in that moment would have landed anyway. “That is a conversation she needs while sober,” one user noted.

    A smaller contingent said they would have handled it very differently. “I probably would not have been that understanding,” wrote @brooklynn_beast. “I’d start swinging.” @birdmo_k was more measured: “It’s assault. I would have called security.”

    The split in the comments is the real story. Most people watching agreed the kissing woman was wrong. What divided them was whether a calm non-reaction is grace under pressure or something closer to normalizing behavior that shouldn’t be normalized.

    For more videos like this, you can follow @toastedsourdoug on TikTok.

    This article originally appeared earlier this year.

  • A mom noticed her dog acting strange around her son for days. His explanation left her speechless.
    A young boy plays with his dogPhoto credit: Canva

    Annie noticed her dog acting strange on a Saturday and spent the better part of the weekend trying to figure out what was wrong with him.

    The dog had become completely fixated on her son, following him from room to room, nudging him, hovering nearby. “Like Velcro,” as Annie, who posts on Threads as @annie.wade00, put it. She ran through the usual checklist: was he limping? Off his food? Showing any signs of pain? Nothing. He seemed physically fine. He just wouldn’t leave her son alone. “I thought the dog was sick or something was wrong with him,” she wrote in a post that has since racked up more than 21,000 likes, comments and shares.

    After a few days of watching the behavior continue, she finally asked her son if he had noticed the dog “acting weird.” That’s when the real story came out.

    Young child walking the dog. Photo credit: Canva

    Her son told her he had been under serious stress about an upcoming school presentation. He’d been losing sleep, replaying worst-case scenarios, dreading the moment he’d have to stand up in front of his classmates. He hadn’t said much about it to anyone. The dog, it turned out, had been responding to something her son had been quietly carrying for days.

    “Now my son says having the dog nearby actually helps him feel calmer,” Annie wrote. “Animals pick up on things we don’t talk about. Sometimes they’re better at checking in than I am.”

    A frollicking dog running with its rope toy. Photo credit: Canva

    The story landed because so many people recognized it. In the comments, readers shared their own versions. One person described how their dog, Snoopy, grabbed a sock and hid under the bed the morning they were scheduled for cancer surgery. He had never stolen a sock before, and never did it again. “He knew I was anxious that morning and was trying to keep me home,” they wrote.

    As Newsweek reported, animal behavior expert Kate LaSala said none of this is really surprising from a scientific standpoint. “Dogs are also very attuned to routines and our own emotions,” LaSala said. “They have evolved to be especially good at reading our body language, much better than we are at reading theirs.” Stress and disrupted sleep both alter a person’s scent, their body language, and their daily patterns, and dogs register all of it. Research published in the journal Biology Letters backs this up, finding that dogs can integrate visual and auditory cues to identify emotional states in both humans and other dogs, an ability researchers described as previously known only in humans.

    This article originally appeared earlier this year.

  • Siblings rap version of ‘The Little Mermaid’ song has people hooked
    Siblings perform their unique rap version of a song from "The Little Mermaid."Photo credit: Tara Annan/Instagram
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    Siblings rap version of ‘The Little Mermaid’ song has people hooked

    “This is a Grammy-level performance in the world of ‘mom look at this!'”

    It was just an average Friday night for Tara Annan and her family of seven. Everyone was enjoying downtime in the living room when suddenly the two youngest kids created a unique spin on a Disney musical classic. The world took notice.

    Cohen, who goes by the nickname Buggy, stands casually next to his older sister, Joee (pronounced Joey). In a light purple shirt, Joee begins to set the beat while singing, “Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete?”

    The Little Mermaid

    The song the kids are singing/rapping is “Part of Your World” from the hit movie The Little Mermaid. (Alan Menken composed the music, and Howard Ashman provided the lyrics.) It’s a beautiful, swooning ballad and a pivotal part of the musical. For those unaware, the story centers around a lovely redheaded mermaid named Ariel. She gets a glimpse of life on land, and she wants in.

    In the song, Ariel admits to herself that no matter how wonderful her world is under the sea, she wants more: “I’ve got gadgets and gizmos aplenty. I’ve got whosits and whatsits galore. Want thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty. But who cares? No big deal. I want more…”

    So of course the song deserves a hype man. That’s where Buggy comes in. Clad in his signature glasses and plaid pants, he begins his interpretive dance, adding in ridiculously hilarious sound effects and dance moves. The best part? The siblings just play off one another, as though they’re an old Vaudeville act that’s been doing it for ages.

    A musical family

    Upworthy had a chance to chat with Annan, a busy mom of five, who shared what her family’s typical weekends look like.

    “I didn’t cook that night so we all were hanging out in the living room after our DoorDash,” she says.

    She admits that having five kids creates a rather bustling energy:

    “We are a very loud bunch. We love music. Either my kids are making up their own beats or we have music on. We listen to all types of music. One thing I love is my home sets the tone for my kids to be themselves.”

    As for that particular song? “I just so happened to capture that little mix that night and the world loved it,” she says.

    The loving reaction

    This clip has over 850,000 likes on Instagram alone and more than 21,000 comments. One person jokingly writes that a “trap” version of the rendition would be done by rapper Lil Wayne—or, as they call him, “Lil Mermayne.”

    There are so many wholesome and funny comments pointing out the magic this family seems to have when creating together.

    “Imagine you tell your daughter to ‘go play with your little brother’ and 15 minutes later, they come down with this MASTERPIECE,” a commenter notes.

    Another commenter gives it the highest praise, writing, “This is a Grammy-level performance in the world of ‘mom look at this!’”

    Finally, this commenter shares that if they’d had these particular kids, they might have made different choices in life: “It’s embarrassing how many times I’ve watched this. If I knew this was guaranteed, I’d consider having kids.”

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