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Women are applauding mom who left her husband for refusing to clean the house for six days

"Ma’am, you are nothing short of amazing! Hang in there!"

via @5kids5catssomedogstoo/TikTok

Lynalice Bandy shares what her home looks like after working six 10-hour days and getting no help from her husband.

A viral TikTok video highlights an extreme version of inequality that many wives and mothers in heterosexual relationships face. However, the mom in this story hit her limit and won’t deal with it anymore. Lynalice Bandy, who goes by @5kids5catssomedogstoo on TikTok, posted a video that showed her home looking like a disaster after she worked six 10-hour days straight while her husband did nothing to help.

Her time-lapse video shows every room in the house completely trashed, with toys, food, and laundry scattered everywhere. "Shampoo on the carpets in the girls' room, nail polish all over nugget covers, hair, and carpet. Scissors were used to cut hair, the down comforter, the mattress cover, and two nugget covers," wrote the mom. “I’ve worked six, ten-hour days in a row with only one day off being a sick day,” she captioned the video. “I’d like to pretend I’m not the only person who cleans here, but as you can see…These rooms don’t get much attention when I’m not here."


@5kids2catsandsomechaos

#divorce #parentingfail #messyhouse #whenwomen #depressionanxiety #clean #satifying

She says her husband’s excuse was that he was focused on doing his schoolwork and couldn’t pay attention to the kids. "Now, that school is out for a break, he doesn't have that excuse anymore," Bandy says, noting that all of his attention has been focused on “the four vehicles in our driveway that he wants to work on continuously.”

In a follow-up video, Bandy announced that she left her husband after the debacle. The original video received over 17,000 comments, many of which were from supportive women. "You deserve much better, and he deserves to be alone. Much love to you from someone that left that life behind almost 20 yrs ago. You'll get here, too," Angela LaRoche wrote.

"Ma’am, you are nothing short of amazing! Hang in there!" Japanese with Jenny wrote. "That home is beautiful because of YOU," Hillary added. "You put in so much work, and it is not unseen by me and so many others. But, you DO deserve better. Proud of you."

@5kids2catsandsomechaos

Sounds about right…

Even though Bandy’s experience with her husband is an extreme case of a couple whose domestic duties are way out of balance, it points to a problem that plagues many households. Even though it’s 2023 and families are becoming more equal, women still do significantly more housework than men.

A study utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics' American Time Use Survey found that women 15 years and older spend 5.7 hours daily doing housework and looking after kids and elders. Men in the same age group do an average of 3.6 hours of daily domestic work. That’s a 37% difference in time spent on household responsibilities.

domestic duties, marriage inequality, lazy husbands, messy houses, household chores, upset woman, tired womanA woman who is upset that she has to do chores again.via Canva/Photos

Further, women who work an average of 35 hours a week spend 4.9 hours a day on household chores and child care, while men who work the same amount spend an average of 3.8 hours.

The comments show that many women are frustrated with their husbands for not doing their fair share. Hopefully, this video will encourage more people to speak out about domestic inequality and for more men to step up and do their part.

Nearly two years after Lynalice left her husband, she and her five children are living together in a new home. Her recent videos show that she's having difficulty keeping it clean because she's been working 60-plus hours a week and suffers from ADHD. Being the single mother of five has to be tough, so she has developed a new motto: "Progress, not perfection." In November 2024, she shared a video of her and her family getting things together in their new home.

@5kids2catsandsomechaos

Can you spot how many times Winky sits in a box or plops for belly rubs? #cleaning #messyhouse #clean #timelapse #oddlysatisfying #grwm #carpetcleaning #cattok

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Pop Culture

How do you fold a fitted sheet? It's actually not as hard as you think.

The key is "keep the ugly on the inside."

Linen House/YouTube

Fitted sheets are a pain in the you-know-what to fold, but there are ways.

With younger generations ditching top sheets, it may seem like the basic household task of putting sheets away in the linen closet or drawer should be getting easier. But the top sheet was never the problem when it comes to folding and storing. It's that cursed fitted sheet with this wonky elastic corners and bulbous, amorphous shape that gets people's goat, every time.

If only it were a simple as this:

However, if you know what you're doing, it's not actually as hard to neatly fold a fitted sheet as people think. There are just a couple of principles to keep in mind.

First, it's much, much easier to fold a fitted sheet with a flat surface. You can try to do it in the air, but you're just going to frustrate yourself.

Second, the goal of folding the fitted sheet is to keep the ugly on the inside. You're never going to get the perfectly flat, neat square you get with a folded flat sheet, but you can get pretty close by remembering that the bumpy elastic parts won't matter if they're folded up inside the straight parts of the sheet.

Now let's get to it.

Step 1: Lay the sheet out as best you can on the bed. Tuck your hands into the corners of one short end of the sheet, then tuck those corners inside the corners of the other end. This is the part that gives people the most trouble, but once you see what it looks like, it's pretty clear.

It takes this woman about 5 seconds to do that part (but it takes a bit of practice to get that quick). Watch:

Step 2: You now have a fitted sheet that's essentially folded in half, but ugly. Now you want to make a somewhat uniform shape out of it, by pulling those elastic corners in so that the top is evenly rounded. (Basically, make it look like an old-timey wagon carriage.)

Step 3: Pull the bottom of the sheet taut so you have a straight fold, then fold it the width you want the folded sheet to be (about a foot, generally). Do that fold twice.

Step 4: Here's the "ugly on the inside" part. Now fold the round top down twice, putting the second fold over the first two folds you made. (This part does not need to look super neat because, again, the ugly is going to be hidden on the inside.) Flatten it out with your hands. Now you have a nice, long, somewhat flat burrito with ugly ends.

Step 5: Fold in from both ends (ugly on the inside, always). If you want to tuck one end into the other like she does in the video, great, but that's not even necessary. You can just double fold from each end and call it good.

Voila! Neatly folded fitted sheet. It may look hard and may not end up this neat on your first try, but keep going. Once you get the hang of it, it gets faster and easier.

If that method just doesn't work for you, here's another to try from Linen House. It looks a lot more complicated at the beginning, but once you see what she's doing, it's clearer. She's essentially folding it in half and then half again, keeping the corners tucked into one another going the same direction. (You could also do that part on a bed, which might be easier than trying to do it in the air. Everyone has their preference.)

One caveat: Some sheet material is harder to fold than others. Basic cotton or poly blend? Super doable. Silk sheets are slippery, but often fold down very flat. Flannel sheets stick to themselves a bit, but are still amenable to the folding. Jersey sheets, though? Far more challenging. They have no clear shape and get more misshapen with every wash. You might be justified in giving up and wadding those ones however they will go.

What's even the point of folding fitted sheets in the first place? Well, they fit far better in a cupboard or drawer when folded than they do when wadded, for one, so if space is important to you, that's one reason. It's also just far more aesthetically pleasing. Once you get the hang of it, it takes like 30 seconds, which is totally worth it.

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Health

2 photos of a woman's bedroom reveal just how powerful depression can be.

"We need to be able to talk to each other about our feelings, even the bad ones."

Photo via Jonna Roslund, used with permission.

Dealing and not dealing with a messy room

This article originally appeared on September 7, 2016

Jonna Roslund is a 26-year-old from Sweden who lives with depression.

Living with a mental illness affects many areas of a person's life, including one annoyance most of us can relate to: the dread of household chores.

But for Roslund — and many people living with depression — the process of cleaning can be about so much more than simply tidying up.

"I suffer from severe depression and have a really hard time with cleaning and doing other kinds of household work," she wrote in a post on Imgur.

household chores, suicide, Jonna Roslund

Selfie taken by Jonna Roslund.

Photo via Jonna Roslund, used with permission.


"My room [has] been this messy for several months [because] I can't push myself to take care of it," she explained. "But this Friday I decided to finally do it!"

She posted two photos of her bedroom — one before cleaning up, and one afterward.

This was Roslund's bedroom before she cleaned:

self care, positive attitude, cleaning

This can be considered messy.

Photo via Jonna Roslund, used with permission.

And after she cleaned:

mental health, household chores, motivation

What a difference some elbow grease can make, huh?

Photo via Jonna Roslund, used with permission.

"You can finally see that I have a floor!" she wrote. "Say hi to my teddy Nalle on the bed!”

"I know it's not a big victory, but for me it means the world to just be able to have my door open if people come over. I feel so at peace right now ... Me 1 — Depression 0!”

The comments on Roslund's post are filled with words of encouragement, as other users expressed how relatable it is to see a messy room so perfectly symbolize their own form of mental illness:

"I too suffer from depression and I know how hard it is to function. You rock and you're an inspiration!"

"I've been suffering from bouts of depression and dealing with an eating disorder and my place is in disarray. This is inspiring."

"Good on ya! Cleaning is the first to go when my depression flares and cleaning is one of the things that can feel good in the depths."

"Good job, [Roslund]. 1 step at a time, 1 small victory after another, is what will get you through this (: I wish you the best.”

Roslund's experience with depression and struggling to stay on top of household chores isn't all that unique.

Feeling as though you have little energy and motivation is a common characteristic for those living with depression. Everyday tasks — from the bigger things like staying productive at your job to the smaller (but still important) things like completing household chores — can feel impossibly difficult at times.

depression, mental illness, suicide prevention

Dirty kitchens happen.

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

That no-energy feeling is one that Roslund knows all too well.

"When you're depressed, it's a struggle to just get out of bed," she explains over email. "It makes other things that other, healthy people do, so overwhelming. It's like trying to run a marathon when you've been in a coma for years."

That's why Roslund's post resonated so widely. It touches on an important point: Sometimes small victories aren't so small after all.

Roslund wants the world to get better at how it addresses mental illness — and that starts with all of us.

"We need to be able to talk to each other about our feelings, even the bad ones," she writes. "And we need to be better at listening when someone is trying to talk to you about it, even though it's hard to hear."

It's a vital message to remember, especially since it's National Suicide Prevention Week. Depression and the risk of suicide are closely related.

"Be patient with yourself or the person you know who is going through a hard time. And it's important to remember that there is help out there!"



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Study finds couples who fairly share household duties have more and better sex.

This article originally appeared on 11.16.15


In the magazine aisle there's no shortage of suggestions to spice up your sex life with your partner.

They usually range from "duh" to ... absurd.

Not a real Cosmo cover. But it sooo could be. Image by @Remiel/Flickr (altered).

While most magazine tips focus on what women can do for their male partners (I mean, there's a reason why Cosmo has a reputation), a newly-released discovery is for the fellas.

What Canadian scientists recently found is an easy-to-follow tip that probably won't be in the next issue of Esquire: Do your fair share of chores.

Sorry. I hate chores, too. GIF from "The Office."

I know, I know. Sorry. But it doesn't have to be so bad! If this did make it into the Cosmo and Men's Health sex and relationship tips sections, I imagine it'd go a little bit like this:

"Think of her carpet ... and how badly it needs to be taken care of. Then reach for the vacuum for a loud cleaning session to make that rug spotless."

"If you really want an irresistible move to get her in the mood, try introducing plastic into your routine. Using plastic gloves while scrubbing the tub and toilet doesn't just give your skin a relief from those harsh cleaning chemicals, but that cleaning sesh will really show you mean business."

"To achieve sex-god status, you have to truly master cleaning the pots. Firmly hold the handle of the pot and gently scrub away that grease and grime. The clean, shiny insides of her cookware will really get her going. For extra points, clean the pans, too."

Sexy, right?

This guy knows what he's doing. Image by garlandcannon/Flickr.

If you've been following research on the effect of chore division on a couple's sex life, then you might be scratching your head. This new research goes completely against a bombshell 2012 University of Washington study that said men doing what is traditionally seen as "women's work" in the home leads to heterosexual couples having less sex.

But wait, before running to mop the floor a few extra times. It isn't a certain qualitative amount of chores that helps couples reach the sexy times jackpot.

The key to the couples' satisfaction is whether the man feels he is doing his fair share.

While pouring over a five-year study of German couples and their sex lives, researchers found a trend for which couples had the most frequent and most satisfying sex: the ones who had a male partner confident that he's pulling his weight in the household.

Sorry folks: Skipping doing the dishes in hopes of more romps in the bed is the wrong way to go.

The finding is helpful for cohabiting couples trying to balance their needs for both a clean house and sexual intimacy.

They only studied heterosexual partners, but I bet the moral behind it could be true regardless of gender. When people make a fair contribution to the household, everyone feels better and the couple has more opportunity for quality time.

Sounds like a win-win to me.

GIF from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."

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