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household chores

Family

Mom films her 10-month-old helping with chores to show parents that babies 'are capable'

"It’s so important for their development and they enjoy it!”

Representative image from Canva

Having kids help in chores can really help them out later in life, according to experts.

It’s part of a parent’s job to help kids enjoy being kids while they can. At the same time, it’s extremely beneficial to teach them certain “adult” tasks while they’re still young. This can help them see everything from cleaning to budgeting as a fun, life-affirming activity, rather than a mandatory chore. Which research shows can, in turn, set them up for way more happiness and success once they do reach adulthood.

And that’s why mom and child development expert Sophie Zee is hosting a video of her ten-month-old helping with household chores like laundry and loading the dishwasher. It’s her way of reminding other parents just how capable their young children are.

In the video’s text overlay on her Zee wrote: “POV: you're 10-months-old but your mom is trained in child development, so you already know about basic chores and associate them with playtime and fun, and you enjoy helping out and doing them.”

As we see her toddler’s little hands splashing water in a strainer and pressing buttons on the washing machine, it’s clear that he is just a supervised participant of each chore, getting a visceral experience of it all. At one point he even gets a little creative with a certain task—using a fork to open the dishwasher’s soap dispenser. Problem-solving skills: unlocked!

“Let your baby & kids watch/help with your daily chores. Even if it takes a bit longer or is a bit messier. It’s so important for their development and they enjoy it!” Zee's video caption read.

@schoolpsych.mom Let your baby & kids watch/help with your daily chores. Even if it takes a bit longer or is a bit messier. It’s so important for their development and they enjoy it! #momsoftiktok #parentingtips #babylife #newmomtips #toddlermom ♬ Feel Good - Tundra Beats

Down in the comments, several other parents noted having the same positive experience with their old young kids.

One mom wrote, “My 9 month old loves watching/helping me clean especially when I load/unload the dishwasher! I love making the daily tasks around the house more fun for the two of us.”

Another wrote, “I did this with my 6 adult kiddies. They were helping from the time they were just a few weeks old.”

Others simply gave kudos to Zee for setting her child up for success.

“ECD teacher here too. Best to train them from young 🥰 love it,” one view wrote.

In an interview with Newsweek, Zee explained that she filmed her son doing chores to highlight "their intrinsic motivation to engage and feel part of the family unit,” which may go otherwise underutilized.

"Parents may not realize that children learn extensively by observing and imitating adults. They naturally want to mimic our actions, presenting a perfect opportunity to expose them to life's responsibilities, including self-care and household tasks," she said.

"Sometimes my 10-month-old son engages in various daily tasks and chores around our home. I made that video to demonstrate how even young children, like babies, are capable of participating in everyday activities.”

Still, she noted that forcing kids to participate is “counterproductive,” and suggested that parents instead gently invite them to “join in, observe, and gradually participate.” She also reiterated that while having them join in might make things a little messier at first, the long term effects are well worth it.

"This approach is more beneficial than expecting children to play independently or watch television while parents rush through tasks. Ultimately, embracing this inclusive approach benefits the entire family, offering immediate rewards and long-term positive habits for children's development."

For more helpful child development content, including tips on how to get young ones to participate in chores, follow Zee on TikTok.

From Your Site Articles

kids

Pop Culture

How do you fold a fitted sheet? It's actually not as hard as you think.

The key is "keep the ugly on the inside."

Linen House/YouTube

Fitted sheets are a pain in the you-know-what to fold, but there are ways.

With younger generations ditching top sheets, it may seem like the basic household task of putting sheets away in the linen closet or drawer should be getting easier. But the top sheet was never the problem when it comes to folding and storing. It's that cursed fitted sheet with this wonky elastic corners and bulbous, amorphous shape that gets people's goat, every time.

If only it were a simple as this:

How to fold a fitted sheet..\ud83d\udc08\ud83d\udc3e\ud83e\udde3\ud83d\ude05
— (@)

However, if you know what you're doing, it's not actually as hard to neatly fold a fitted sheet as people think. There are just a couple of principles to keep in mind.

First, it's much, much easier to fold a fitted sheet with a flat surface. You can try to do it in the air, but you're just going to frustrate yourself.

Second, the goal of folding the fitted sheet is to keep the ugly on the inside. You're never going to get the perfectly flat, neat square you get with a folded flat sheet, but you can get pretty close by remembering that the bumpy elastic parts won't matter if they're folded up inside the straight parts of the sheet.

Now let's get to it.

Step 1: Lay the sheet out as best you can on the bed. Tuck your hands into the corners of one short end of the sheet, then tuck those corners inside the corners of the other end. This is the part that gives people the most trouble, but once you see what it looks like, it's pretty clear.

It takes this woman about 5 seconds to do that part (but it takes a bit of practice to get that quick). Watch:

How to fold a fitted sheet
— (@)

Step 2: You now have a fitted sheet that's essentially folded in half, but ugly. Now you want to make a somewhat uniform shape out of it, by pulling those elastic corners in so that the top is evenly rounded. (Basically, make it look like an old-timey wagon carriage.)

Step 3: Pull the bottom of the sheet taut so you have a straight fold, then fold it the width you want the folded sheet to be (about a foot, generally). Do that fold twice.

Step 4: Here's the "ugly on the inside" part. Now fold the round top down twice, putting the second fold over the first two folds you made. (This part does not need to look super neat because, again, the ugly is going to be hidden on the inside.) Flatten it out with your hands. Now you have a nice, long, somewhat flat burrito with ugly ends.

Step 5: Fold in from both ends (ugly on the inside, always). If you want to tuck one end into the other like she does in the video, great, but that's not even necessary. You can just double fold from each end and call it good.

Voila! Neatly folded fitted sheet. It may look hard and may not end up this neat on your first try, but keep going. Once you get the hang of it, it gets faster and easier.

If that method just doesn't work for you, here's another to try from Linen House. It looks a lot more complicated at the beginning, but once you see what she's doing, it's clearer. She's essentially folding it in half and then half again, keeping the corners tucked into one another going the same direction. (You could also do that part on a bed, which might be easier than trying to do it in the air. Everyone has their preference.)

One caveat: Some sheet material is harder to fold than others. Basic cotton or poly blend? Super doable. Silk sheets are slippery, but often fold down very flat. Flannel sheets stick to themselves a bit, but are still amenable to the folding. Jersey sheets, though? Far more challenging. They have no clear shape and get more misshapen with every wash. You might be justified in giving up and wadding those ones however they will go.

What's even the point of folding fitted sheets in the first place? Well, they fit far better in a cupboard or drawer when folded than they do when wadded, for one, so if space is important to you, that's one reason. It's also just far more aesthetically pleasing. Once you get the hang of it, it takes like 30 seconds, which is totally worth it.

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household hacks

Health

2 photos of a woman's bedroom reveal just how powerful depression can be.

"We need to be able to talk to each other about our feelings, even the bad ones."

Photo via Jonna Roslund, used with permission.

Dealing and not dealing with a messy room

This article originally appeared on September 7, 2016

Jonna Roslund is a 26-year-old from Sweden who lives with depression.

Living with a mental illness affects many areas of a person's life, including one annoyance most of us can relate to: the dread of household chores.

But for Roslund — and many people living with depression — the process of cleaning can be about so much more than simply tidying up.

"I suffer from severe depression and have a really hard time with cleaning and doing other kinds of household work," she wrote in a post on Imgur.

household chores, suicide, Jonna Roslund

Selfie taken by Jonna Roslund.

Photo via Jonna Roslund, used with permission.

"My room [has] been this messy for several months [because] I can't push myself to take care of it," she explained. "But this Friday I decided to finally do it!"

She posted two photos of her bedroom — one before cleaning up, and one afterward.

This was Roslund's bedroom before she cleaned:

This can be considered messy.

Photo via Jonna Roslund, used with permission.

And after she cleaned:

mental health, household chores, motivation

What a difference some elbow grease can make, huh?

Photo via Jonna Roslund, used with permission.

"You can finally see that I have a floor!" she wrote. "Say hi to my teddy Nalle on the bed!”

"I know it's not a big victory, but for me it means the world to just be able to have my door open if people come over. I feel so at peace right now ... Me 1 — Depression 0!”

The comments on Roslund's post are filled with words of encouragement, as other users expressed how relatable it is to see a messy room so perfectly symbolize their own form of mental illness:

"I too suffer from depression and I know how hard it is to function. You rock and you're an inspiration!"

"I've been suffering from bouts of depression and dealing with an eating disorder and my place is in disarray. This is inspiring."

"Good on ya! Cleaning is the first to go when my depression flares and cleaning is one of the things that can feel good in the depths."

"Good job, [Roslund]. 1 step at a time, 1 small victory after another, is what will get you through this (: I wish you the best.”

Roslund's experience with depression and struggling to stay on top of household chores isn't all that unique.

Feeling as though you have little energy and motivation is a common characteristic for those living with depression. Everyday tasks — from the bigger things like staying productive at your job to the smaller (but still important) things like completing household chores — can feel impossibly difficult at times.

depression, mental illness, suicide prevention

Dirty kitchens happen.

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

That no-energy feeling is one that Roslund knows all too well.

"When you're depressed, it's a struggle to just get out of bed," she explains over email. "It makes other things that other, healthy people do, so overwhelming. It's like trying to run a marathon when you've been in a coma for years."

That's why Roslund's post resonated so widely. It touches on an important point: Sometimes small victories aren't so small after all.

Roslund wants the world to get better at how it addresses mental illness — and that starts with all of us.

"We need to be able to talk to each other about our feelings, even the bad ones," she writes. "And we need to be better at listening when someone is trying to talk to you about it, even though it's hard to hear."

It's a vital message to remember, especially since it's National Suicide Prevention Week. Depression and the risk of suicide are closely related.

"Be patient with yourself or the person you know who is going through a hard time. And it's important to remember that there is help out there!"

From Your Site Articles

Study finds couples who fairly share household duties have more and better sex.

This article originally appeared on 11.16.15

In the magazine aisle there's no shortage of suggestions to spice up your sex life with your partner.

They usually range from "duh" to ... absurd.

Not a real Cosmo cover. But it sooo could be. Image by @Remiel/Flickr (altered).

While most magazine tips focus on what women can do for their male partners (I mean, there's a reason why Cosmo has a reputation), a newly-released discovery is for the fellas.

What Canadian scientists recently found is an easy-to-follow tip that probably won't be in the next issue of Esquire: Do your fair share of chores.

Sorry. I hate chores, too. GIF from "The Office."

I know, I know. Sorry. But it doesn't have to be so bad! If this did make it into the Cosmo and Men's Health sex and relationship tips sections, I imagine it'd go a little bit like this:

"Think of her carpet ... and how badly it needs to be taken care of. Then reach for the vacuum for a loud cleaning session to make that rug spotless."

"If you really want an irresistible move to get her in the mood, try introducing plastic into your routine. Using plastic gloves while scrubbing the tub and toilet doesn't just give your skin a relief from those harsh cleaning chemicals, but that cleaning sesh will really show you mean business."

"To achieve sex-god status, you have to truly master cleaning the pots. Firmly hold the handle of the pot and gently scrub away that grease and grime. The clean, shiny insides of her cookware will really get her going. For extra points, clean the pans, too."

Sexy, right?

This guy knows what he's doing. Image by garlandcannon/Flickr.

If you've been following research on the effect of chore division on a couple's sex life, then you might be scratching your head. This new research goes completely against a bombshell 2012 University of Washington study that said men doing what is traditionally seen as "women's work" in the home leads to heterosexual couples having less sex.

But wait, before running to mop the floor a few extra times. It isn't a certain qualitativeamount of chores that helps couples reach the sexy times jackpot.

The key to the couples' satisfaction is whether the man feels he is doing his fair share.

While pouring over a five-year study of German couples and their sex lives, researchers found a trend for which couples had the most frequent and most satisfying sex: the ones who had a male partner confident that he's pulling his weight in the household.

Sorry folks: Skipping doing the dishes in hopes of more romps in the bed is the wrong way to go.

The finding is helpful for cohabiting couples trying to balance their needs for both a clean house and sexual intimacy.

They only studied heterosexual partners, but I bet the moral behind it could be true regardless of gender. When people make a fair contribution to the household, everyone feels better and the couple has more opportunity for quality time.

Sounds like a win-win to me.

GIF from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."

Family

Mom takes a surprise solo vacation to teach her husband what 'I need more help' really means

via Pixabay

A mother on Reddit who couldn't stand her husband's laziness took an unannounced four-day vacation without him to get some much-needed R and R and to teach him a lesson. When she asked the online forum if she did the right thing, they overwhelmingly agreed.

The mother and her husband have been together for eight years and were recently married 15 months ago. They share a four-year-old son. The parents have a hard time coordinating household chores because she works from home and he's on the night shift 'til 1 am every day and doesn't go to bed 'til 4 am.

"It's a struggle," she writes, adding that he "sleeps basically all day until he has to leave for work."

Recently she's noticed that he does whatever he can to get himself out of housework.

"Before this he would make dinner on his days off, take care of ALL of sons needs and do basic cleaning so that I could have a breather. Now he doesnt make dinner at all, falls asleep on the couch by 7 so I have son duty 24/7 and hasnt lifted a finger to clean in weeks. So on my 3 days off a week, I end up having to deep clean my entire house because I dont have time to do anything on my work days aside from the bare minimum."

Two weeks before leaving on her vacation she hit her limit.

"2 weeks ago I asked him for some help. He happily obliged for all of 30 minutes before taking off to go help a buddy with his car and didnt do jack squat after returning home because he 'was tired'. I needed a break. I told him this. His way of comforting me was by hugging me and saying 'You're doing such a good joby'. Didn't offer to help or anything."

His condescension would send anyone on a four-day holiday. So she did just that.

"So, I made a plan. Asked my mom to take my son for 4 days and planned a vacation for myself with work. I dropped my son off yesterday with my mom (i only did this because my husband obviously works) and took off to our cabin 58 miles away to relax."

Her husband couldn't understand why she went on a vacation without telling him. But she had let him know that she needed more support for months.

"My husband started texting me last night asking where I was. I told him the cabin. He asked where our son was so I told him. He then started going off about how this is selfish of me and that if he had realized I wasnt merely stressed out that he would have helped out more. Used the argument that he too is stressed out and tired. He claims my communication on the issue was terrible and that I could have been more open and laid it out."

Then, he had the nerve to say that he could use a vacation, too. This guy clearly doesn't get what's happening in his own home.

"[He] says that I'm an [a**hole] for taking a vacation without him because he "could have used it too". But the thing is, I straight out told him I needed a break. I asked him for help. He disregarded it all."

The responses to her sudden vacation were almost 100% positive.

"Does husband not have eyes? Can he not see what needs to be cleaned, tidied or cooked? Does he not know his child's needs? If he didn't before maybe his 'four day vacation' without a child to care for or a wife to clean up after him opened his eyes," ToTwoTooToo wrote.

"Same with my ex," Minkiemink wrote. "I quietly told him over and over again. Finally realized that if I had to do everything alone, I'd rather be doing it alone with less dishes, less laundry, less mess. Never looked back."

The post resonated with a lot of people because it's a very common problem. According to Gallup, in heterosexual relationships, women are working a lot harder than men.

"Although women comprise nearly half of the U.S. workforce, they still fulfill a larger share of household responsibilities," Gallup said. "Married or partnered heterosexual couples in the U.S. continue to divide household chores along largely traditional lines, with the woman in the relationship shouldering primary responsibility for doing the laundry (58%), cleaning the house (51%) and preparing meals (51%)."

The reason that many men just don't put forth the effort to do housework is that they assume that it's a woman's job and that when a man participates, he deserves a cookie.

"In many marriages, housework for women is assumed, whereas men believe that taking care of their home is optional. When they do something, they see it as helping out their wives and being a good husband, but don't regard it as their actual responsibility," Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera Ph.D. write in Psychology Today. "Instead, they often expect what they do to be noticed and praiseworthy, and sometimes a basis for negotiating other goods and services from their wives."

It's unclear what happened after the mother returned from her much-needed four-day vacation but one should hope that she got her point across. "I need more help," means exactly that.

From Your Site Articles

household chores

Mom films her 10-month-old helping with chores to show parents that babies 'are capable'

"It’s so important for their development and they enjoy it!”

How do you fold a fitted sheet? It's actually not as hard as you think.

The key is "keep the ugly on the inside."

2 photos of a woman's bedroom reveal just how powerful depression can be.

"We need to be able to talk to each other about our feelings, even the bad ones."

Jonna Roslund is a 26-year-old from Sweden who lives with depression.

This was Roslund's bedroom before she cleaned:

And after she cleaned:

"I know it's not a big victory, but for me it means the world to just be able to have my door open if people come over. I feel so at peace right now ... Me 1 — Depression 0!”

Roslund's experience with depression and struggling to stay on top of household chores isn't all that unique.

Roslund wants the world to get better at how it addresses mental illness — and that starts with all of us.

Study finds couples who fairly share household duties have more and better sex.

In the magazine aisle there's no shortage of suggestions to spice up your sex life with your partner.

What Canadian scientists recently found is an easy-to-follow tip that probably won't be in the next issue of Esquire: Do your fair share of chores.

The key to the couples' satisfaction is whether the man feels he is doing his fair share.

The finding is helpful for cohabiting couples trying to balance their needs for both a clean house and sexual intimacy.

Mom takes a surprise solo vacation to teach her husband what 'I need more help' really means

Little boy mistakes multimillionaire for homeless man and they end becoming good friends

Steve Martin has the best response to hearing that his book was banned in Florida

A letter to my mother-in-law who spoiled my sons

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