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'Sorry if I was a little insistent,' he said later — after forcing her and changing her life forever.

TRIGGER WARNING: This short but powerful essay by Robyn Swirling on rape may be upsetting for sexual assault survivors. Proceed as you see fit.

"Memories Outside the Mind," by Robyn Swirling

I don't quite know what happened. I mean, I know. I just don't remember everything.

I remember "just go down on me, just for a minute, it'll help me sleep," and his hands entangled in my hair as he pushed my head toward him. I remember my back against the full-length mirror, the frame digging into my shoulder blade, the pressure of his forearm across my chest as his fingers dug into me. I remember saying no as forcefully as I could, as often as I could, but as quietly as I could because he warned me not to wake his roommate and that somehow seemed more important in that moment than the fact that what the roommate would have heard was me begging him to get out from inside me. I remember laying in bed back in my room with tears streaming silently down my face, anxious not to wake my own roommate for fear that I'd have to tell her what had just happened, though the word "rape" was still days away from reaching my lips.

But I don't remember if it was a Thursday or a Monday. I don't remember the date — I think it was late September, but it might have been early October. I don't remember exactly how many days I laid in my dorm room bed, my eyes shut tight against light and friends and classes and obligations. Once I told my roommate and close friends, I don't remember how many days — weeks? — it was before they convinced me to leave my room for the first time for a party, only for me to see him there and panic, locking myself in the bathroom of some Coral Gables group house.

His IM to me lives as a permanent screenshot in my brain: "I'm sorry if I was a little insistent the other night."

I don't remember how many of my parents' calls I screened, as they became increasingly dissatisfied with leaving voicemails. But when I finally called my dad back, hiding from the aftermath of a hurricane in the backseat of my friend's Ford Explorer, I very clearly remember breaking down at his "what's wrong?" I will never forget my mom's first words when I answered her call 15 minutes later. "Why did I have to hear this from your father?"

I remember and I don't remember. Trauma has no respect for memory. It picks and chooses, often seemingly randomly, what words, sensations, details stick with you. Sometimes I smell his cologne on a stranger and have to stop walking for a minute or two to keep myself together. When we'd only been dating for a few weeks, I curled up on the basement floor to nervously warn my boyfriend that he could never ever push me up against a wall while we made out, no matter how hot it might seem, because I had a panic attack the last time a guy did that since the first time a guy did that.

Memory isn't only in the mind. As the book my therapist had me read tells us, the body remembers. The trauma lives in that entire reproductive region of my torso, where what I just refer to as Hurting jumps up to stab me from the inside, incapacitating me for seconds or hours at a time. After eight years of this, a pain specialist finally told me my Hurting is from muscle spasms, from holding everything so tight, from my whole body flinching internally. There is no medical explanation that exam after exam and scan after scan could find. The doctors' explanations are that the trauma did this. That he did this. The body remembers.

I don't owe you any of these details. I have come to know that you won't believe me unless I give you all of these details. And even then you probably won't, if we're being honest. Always one disclosed detail away from belief.

It is an unimaginable yet all too often manifested cruelty to disbelieve someone who tells you they were raped simply because they cannot recall every detail in perfect clarity. Maybe Jackie got it wrong that the guy was a member of that fraternity. Maybe I don't remember which week it happened. Maybe your sister doesn't remember if there were 5 assailants or 6. Maybe your friend doesn't remember how she got home.

Every bit of me remembers every bit of what happened to me. Sometimes we just don't remember the details.

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Walking Alongside Martu: A journey with one of the world’s oldest living cultures

Pura’s inaugural impact collection honors both sacred traditions and sustainable futures.

James Roh
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In a world driven by speed, efficiency, and immediate results, it’s easy to forget that lasting change is built on trust. Real impact doesn’t come from rushing toward an end goal or measuring success through lofty metrics. It comes from falling in love with the problem, building a community around it, and sharing a vision for lasting transformation.

Pura, the smart home fragrance company that marries premium fragrance with innovative technology, recently launched its inaugural impact collection with K Farmer Dutjahn Foundation (KFDF) and Dutjahn Sandalwood Oils (DSO). The Pura x Dutjahn partnership began with a clear purpose: to source a sacred ingredient directly from its origin while honoring the land and the people who’ve cared for it. Our goal wasn’t simply to find sandalwood — it was to find a community and an ingredient that embody exceptional land stewardship, ethical harvesting, and transformative, community-led impact. After careful research and over three years of development, we saw an opportunity to secure a premium, luxurious ingredient while supporting a regenerative supply chain that invests in Indigenous-led education, economic opportunity, and land stewardship.

James Roh

Over the past several years, we’ve walked alongside Martu, an Indigenous tribe from the vast Western Australian desert. Martu are one of the oldest living cultures in the world, with a history spanning 60,000 years. As nomadic hunter-gatherers, they have unparalleled ecological knowledge, passed down through generations, making them the traditional custodians of the land. Their approach to sandalwood harvesting isn’t driven by market demand but by a deep respect for seasonal rhythms, land health, and cultural law. Their work adapts to the environment—whether it’s “sorry time,” when mourning pauses activities, or the harsh desert conditions that make travel and communication difficult. Martu operate on Martu time, a deliberate rhythm shaped by millennia of experience, far removed from the rapid-swipe, hyper-productive pace of Western systems.

Martu’s ecological knowledge isn’t documented in baseline reports. It’s lived, carried in stories, and practiced with rigor and respect for the changing needs of the ecosystems. True partnership means unlearning the typical approach. It means standing beside—not in front—and recognizing that the wisdom and leadership we need already exist within these communities. Our role isn’t to define the work, but to support it, protect it, and learn from it.

James Roh

Tonight, as I spoke with Chairman Clinton Farmer and the KFDF team about our focus for this piece, I learned that Clinton’s truck had broken down (again), leaving him to “limp” back to town from the desert at low speeds for hours and hours. He had been awake since 3:00 a.m. This is a common and costly setback, one that disrupts the harvest, demands days of driving, and brings real financial and emotional strain. These barriers are relentless and persistent, part of the harsh reality Clinton and his community face daily. It's easy for outsiders, detached from the reality on the ground, to impose rules, regulations, and demands from afar. Rather than continuing to impose, we need to truly partner with communities — equipping them with the resources to operate sustainably, avoid burnout, and protect the very land they love and care for. All while they endeavor to share these incredible, sacred ingredients with the world and build an economic engine for their people.

There is much to learn, but we are here to listen, adapt, and stay the course. The future we need will not be built in quarterly cycles. It will be built in trust, over time, together.

To learn more about the partnership and fragrances, visit Pura x Dutjahn.

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Woman lives on a cruise ship for free, but says there are 4 things she's not allowed to do

Still…a pretty charmed life.

Upworthy has covered a few stories about people who decided to live permanently on cruise ships because it's cheaper than living on land or in a nursing home. These stories have connected with millions because they say a lot about the modern cost of living but are also aspirational.

Christine Kesteloo has become popular on TikTok with over 680,000 followers because she shares what living on a cruise ship is really like. Kesteloo is the wife of the ship’s Staff Chief Engineer, so she gets to live on the boat for free. She only has to pay for alcohol and soda, which she gets for half off according to Business Insider.

“I live on a cruise ship for half the year with my husband, and it's often as glamorous as it sounds,” she told Insider. “After all, I don't cook, clean, make my bed, do laundry or pay for food.“

Kesteloo’s life seems pretty stress-free. After all, she's basically on a permanent vacation. However, even though she lives on a cruise ship as a “wife on board,” there are a few things she either can’t or shouldn’t do.

She shared these four things in a TikTok video with nearly 10 million views.

@dutchworld_americangirl I go through four things I can, and cannot do it while living on the cruise ship with my husband #weliveonacruiseship #4things #alaskacruise #cruiseship #cruiseshiplife #cruise #alaska #caribbeancruise #cruiselife #livingstsea #getreadywithme ♬ Chill in a good mood, calm and fun(1263486) - zukisuzuki


1. Gambling

living on a cruise ship, cruise ship living, residential cruise ship, best cruise, married to a cruise workermedia0.giphy.com

Kesteloo says she cannot sit at a slot machine and “play my heart out until I win.” She believes it would “look a little weird if I, as the wife of the staff chief engineer, won a big jackpot.”

2. Leaving the ship with the guests

living on a cruise ship, cruise ship living, residential cruise ship, best cruise, married to a cruise workermedia0.giphy.com

When the ship arrives at a destination, she can't get off with the guests. She must wait about an hour and exit the vessel with the crew. When returning to the ship, she also has to be on time. “No, they will not wait for us,” she says. And the same goes for her husband, if they “miss the ship, someone else will take over the role.”

3. Sitting in a crowded pool

living on a cruise ship, cruise ship living, residential cruise ship, best cruise, married to a cruise workermedia1.giphy.com

Although Kesteloo has access to the pool, gym, and all the ship’s amenities, she’s cautious not to interfere with the guests' good time. She’ll exit the pool if it’s busy because “it’s just the right thing to do.”

4. Traveling without international traveler insurance

living on a cruise ship, cruise ship living, residential cruise ship, best cruise, married to a cruise workermedia1.giphy.com

She must have insurance in case of a misfortune on the ship. But as a citizen of the Netherlands, they already have coverage and just have to pay a few extra dollars a month.

Though folks generally welcomed Kesteloo's advice, some of the most popular commenters on the video were from women regretting that they married men who aren’t chief engineers on cruise ships or those who want to know where to find a single one.

"OK, can you explain how to marry a cruise ship engineer?" one female commentator wrote.

"How. in. the. H E double hockey sticks do I become the wife of a cruise ship engineer???? I don’t have to work AND cruise for free!" another added.

"Does he have any single friends with same job??? Asking for me," one more asked.

For even more tips on living this charmed life, follow Kesteloo on TikTok. Who knows, by now she might evne have some advice for landing your own cruise ship engineer spouse.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Woman's viral tweet has thousands of people convinced they have pinworms

Is this something we've all ignored?

Photo credit: Canva and X screenshot

Woman's tweet convinces thousands they have pinworms

When they say parenting isn't easy, most people envision sleepless nights and diaper blowouts. Most people don't consider that one day their parenting journey may include deworming your child. Kids, especially younger kids, are prone to contracting pinworms due to how contagious they are and how often kids put their fingers in their mouths. But is this something adults also need to worry about?

Mary-Cate Delvey, a veterinary technician shares, "Friendly vet tech PSA to please deworm yourselves. Seriously, you can get pyrantel pamoate on Amazon and it tastes like a banana smoothie. Why are fecal parasite screenings not part of human healthcare. You probably have worms. Just please do it."

File:Strongyloides Storcoralis Lifecycle Diagram.jpg - Wikimedia ...commons.wikimedia.org

Well, you can't say something like that in the big giant world of the internet and not expect a disproportionate response. But she's not the only person to either ask the question if people should be deworming as frequently as they deworm their pets, or even suggest that deworming is essential. Sure, pinworms are extremely contagious and here's why–their eggs are practically microscopic, carried under the fingernails and stick to everything.

Basically anything an infected person touches now likely has eggs on it, so if you touch it, you now have undetectable eggs on your fingers that can end up in your mouth for the parasite to start its life cycle in your small intestine and rectum. It's certainly a vision to behold in your minds eye but even given their contagion level, are they really so contagious that you need a monthly dewormer?

File:Hookworms.JPG - Wikipediaen.m.wikipedia.org

Eh, probably not. But the post sparked lots of concerned replies with one person writing, "The thought of having worms, or deworming or seeing worms horrifies me. Like to my core, this is my most unreasonable phobia."

While Delvey's post was more of a claim than a question, she's not the first person to think regular deworming should be common. In fact, a quick search will pull up multiple people pondering the same question, but like the post from X, it's a general question of human deworming without specifying which parasites you're trying to rid yourself of. The medication the vet tech tells people to get treats pinworms, which as mentioned previously are easily spread from person to person. But the thing about pinworms is, the person infected with them would be likely become very suspicious that something was a little off.

Photo credit: Canva

Pinworm eggs get trapped under your fingernails for one very uncomfortable reason. Nighttime scratching of an itchy anus due to the worms coming out while you're sleeping to lay their eggs around your...uh...butthole. Chances are if you're not consistently resisting the urge to get up from your bed and scoot your bottom across the carpet in your bedroom, pinworms are unlikely. Other parasites have more alarming symptoms that would certainly have the average person seeking medical attention in a developed country.

But in the United States, pinworms are the most common intestinal parasite as parasites like ascaris are spread through soil contaminated with human feces. Almost all other intestinal parasites are contracted by either touching soil contaminated with eggs and touching your mouth with an unwashed hand or in the case of hookworms, walking barefoot on soil contaminated with hookworm larvae. The exceptions are tapeworms, trichinella and flukes, the first two are contracted by eating undercooked meats of animals infected with the parasite, while flukes are contracted by drinking contaminated water or eating infected fish.

Photo credit: Canva

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), "Soil-transmitted helminth (STH) infections are among the most common infections worldwide with an estimated 1.5 billion infected people or 24% of the world’s population. These infections affect the poorest and most deprived communities with poor access to clean water, sanitation and hygiene in tropical and subtropical areas, with the highest prevalence reported from sub-Saharan Africa, China, South America and Asia."

This means the likelihood of parasites running rampant in the intestines of everyday Americans is pretty slim outside of the occasional pinworms a child might bring home. Though, even that doesn't necessarily require an urgent visit to the doctor. It's more of an annoyance than anything else due to the itching as the medication needed is sold over the counter at your local pharmacy for around $10.

Photo credit: Canva

Even the testing for pinworms doesn't involve anything super scientific that you'd need to spend hundreds of dollars on a lab test. According to the CDC, people worried that they may have the pesky parasite can simply put a strip of scotch tape near their bum hole first thing in the morning. The eggs will appear on the tape though they're small and will likely need to be seen with a microscope.

In short, do you need to have a family deworming night every few months? Probably not, though any concerns about possibly having a parasite should be discussed with your primary care doctor.

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Mom gives a tour of her typical 'middle-class home' and it's exactly what people needed

"There is just so much pressure on social media to be perfect."

@steph_murphy/TikTok

Stephanie Murphy shares her "average" home in viral TikTok video.

Sure, it’s lovely to see pristine, perfectly curated homes that look like they belong in Architectural Digest. A little inspo never hurt anyone. But as we all know, the spotless life is simply not an achievable reality, especially for those with busy lives and limited budgets (read: most of us).

But you know what? Maybe even the messy homes deserve some love. The ones with constant junk piles, unfinished projects, dirty dishes, and misplaced toys. The homes that will never grace the cover of a magazine but still do a wonderful job of containing all the moments life has to offer—the big, small, extraordinary, mundane, and everywhere in between. 'Cause at the end of the day, isn’t that a home’s true purpose anyway?


@stephsharesitall

Lets normalize “average” because there is nothing wrong with it. Everywhere you look on social media you see big gorgeous houses in perfect condition and its hard not to compare yours to them. But its not the norm and half the time its staged. Our house is lived in, and its filled with love and tons of memories and at the end of the day thats all that matters.

Stephanie Murphy, a mom and TikTok creator, seems to think so. Murphy recently took viewers on an “average house tour,” and it was the exact opposite of aspirational. Highlighted in Murphy’s tour are the pantry door that’s remained unpainted for three years, blinds held together with binder clips, air conditioners held in place by duct tape, a full dish rack tray that’s “a permanent fixture” on their countertops, and not one but two junk drawers (honestly, that’s a little low by my count). You’ll also notice a fridge that is covered in her kid’s artwork and school pictures. Not in any cohesive way, but merely thrown on randomly, as nature intended.

Meanwhile, in the master bedroom, Murphy and her husband’s bed have two separate blankets because neither of them like to share. A genius idea, and just another example of how we really, really don’t need to continue with marital sleeping norms that don’t actually feel comfortable.

As for why Murphy decided to showcase her “average, middle-class house,” it’s all in the caption of her video: “Let’s normalize ‘average’ because there is nothing wrong with it. Everywhere you look on social media, you see big gorgeous houses in perfect condition and it’s hard not to compare yours to them. But it’s not the norm and half the time it's staged. Our house is lived in, and it’s filled with love and tons of memories and at the end of the day that's all that matters."

She further explained her reasoning to Good Morning America. "I feel like social media is full of one perfectly curated video after another, and there is just so much pressure from social media to be perfect in all aspects -- to have perfect skin, perfect makeup, perfect outfit, perfect house. And the reality is no one's perfect," Murphy said.

"Honestly, I feel like there's a very good chance that all those videos that we see were staged and they probably like, moved a pile of toys behind the camera to film and then moved it back when they were done. But that's the part that people on social media just aren't sharing. They don't show you the behind-the-scenes and that is what I was looking to change," she continued.


Judging from the comments sections of this now-viral post, it seems like other people are ready for more average content.

“This is awesome! I’m constantly feeling inadequate when people have a perfect house that looks like nobody lives there!” one person wrote. “I feel seen,” added another.

Hear, hear. No need to feel inadequate about having a home that’s lived in. Imperfection has its own kind of beauty.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Why you should kickstart your day like an Aussie: They’re masters of morning rituals

Pre-dawn fitness, time by the beach, piping hot coffee, and unique breakfast foods.

Photo credit: Canva

Australians embrace the early morning life.

To most Americans, the average Australian’s morning seems foreign, like something only CEOs and fitness gurus can find the energy to do: hit the beach before sunrise, enjoy the pristine waves, then it’s time for a world-class flat-white at their local cafe. Research has shown that Aussies are among the earliest risers in the world, with a majority of the population waking up before 7am. And that doesn’t just mean they get to see the sunrise: in another study conducted by Emma Sleep, 90% of Australians who woke up before 6am reported that they stuck to a morning routine; 75% said that they prioritized good habits, like making the bed; and 91% said that they never hit the snooze button. Talk about intense.


Pre-dawn fitness, time by the beach, piping hot coffee, and unique breakfast foods. Australia’s vibrant early morning culture is a wonder, one that’s centered around joy and embracing those AM hours most of us try to sleep through. And although it sounds a bit dogmatic, the early riser lifestyle works: Australians who wake up early are reportedly more productive and happier. So, ready to unlock the magic of mornings, Aussie-style? (No, you won’t have to torture yourself with 5 AM alarms, promise.)

    First up, exercise

    Before heading to work or to school, many Australians start their day with exercise classes, surfing, or some other outdoor activity. “I’m all about not setting the bar impossibly high,” says Turia Pitt, an endurance athlete and motivational speaker, about her morning routine. “At the moment, exercise is more about clearing my head and feeling good about myself, rather than hitting fitness goals. Anything outdoors is always my preference: trail running, surfing or just taking [my son] Hakavai for lots of long walks.”

    Australia, hike, happiness, morning, routine. Exercise is high up on an Australian's to-do list. Photo credit: Canva

    It’s no surprise then, that a number of global fitness brands started in Australia, including F45 Training, 12RND Fitness, Body Fit Training, KX Pilates, Happy Melon Studios, and Flow Athletic.

      Crazy coffee culture

      Everything changed for Australia when Italian and Greek immigrants brought espresso machines to the continent in the 1950s. Although coffee itself had been in the country since the late 1700s, it wasn’t until this wave of European immigrants—who brought with them their cafe traditions—that sparks really began to fly. Today, Australia is home to one of the world’s greatest coffee scenes, with a strong emphasis on skill and high bean quality. Oh, and don’t forget the flat white, the coffee drink that originated in Australia and New Zealand: a delicious double shot of espresso, a bit of steamed milk, and the thinnest layer of velvety micro-foam.


      Coffee, Flat White, Australia, morning, routine.A nice Flat White is the perfect way to start the day.Photo credit: Canva

      There’s also a broader social aspect that accompanies Australia’s coffee ritual. People from all walks of life go to cafes to meet and chat with others, effectively replacing traditional pubs as central meeting places, or “third spaces,” in the country.

        Don’t forget about “brekkie”

        “We’re often encouraged to eat breakfast like a king,” remarks Janine Allis, an Australian entrepreneur and owner of Boost Juice, a multinational smoothie shop. The Australian breakfast, or “brekkie,” as its affectionately called, is hearty. Beyond their beloved avocado toast, you’ll find a blend of American and British colonial influences. There’s the “fry-up,” a hot plate featuring smokey bacon, eggs in whatever way you like them, grilled mushrooms and tomatoes, a delightful grain, like buttery toast—or even better, toast spread with vegemite. This substantial brekkie, among others like Weet-Bix (a slab of whole-grain wheat cereal) or sweetcorn fritters provides the energy necessary for an active morning and productive day, which is why they’ve remained staples across generations.

        “I’m quite creative in the mornings, so I channel that time to focus on projects like writing for my books, app and program. I move into more admin and email tasks later in the day,” advises Jessica Sepel, an Aussie nutritionist and bestselling author, when it comes to morning productivity. “Taking a full weekend off – and limiting social media use – helps me to be more productive during the week. Rest is underrated.”


        Breakfast, sausage, mushrooms, Australian, fry-upA gorgeous Australian fry-up. Photo credit: Canva

          The Australian approach isn’t about “punishing” yourself, or making your body wake up or do unnatural things. It’s quite the opposite: Aussies discover what works best for their body and mind, using a unique blend of values to guide them including vitality, community, quality, and pragmatism.

          Or, as Turia Pitt says, “It sounds dramatic, but my morning strategies have changed my life! Do not look at your phone first thing. Getting sucked down the digital vortex is not a positive way to start the day.”

          So, whether it’s a dip in the ocean at sunrise, a moment with friends with coffee, or simply enjoying an avocado toast, there are many lessons to be learned from Australia and their early morning culture. Wellness, community, fitness, and pleasure can all be achieved with a little extra time in the morning.

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          Jack Black surprises 13-year-old girl battling cancer with 'Lava Chicken' duet

          Sasha Friedman and the actor jammed out to the 'Minecraft Movie' hit.

          Images via Wikipedia

          Jack Black surprises girl battling cancer on her birthday, sing "Lave Chicken" together.

          Actor Jack Black made sure Sasha Friedman's 13th birthday was one she will always remember. The School of Rock actor surprised Friedman (@officialsashf), who has battled Ewing's Sarcoma cancer since 2022, with the help of Instagrammer Isaiah Garza (@isaiahgarza).

          The two connected via video for an epic chat and some singing. Specifically, they bonded over his recent film A Minecraft Movie, and his viral song "Steve's Lava Chicken".

          "@jackblack surprised a 13 year old fan battling cancer on her birthday 🥹❤️ Can we wish her a happy birthday, insta?!" Garza captioned the post.

          In the video, Garza first surprises Friedman with some birthday cash, before telling her he has a second surprise. "I have someone who wants to meet you right now. Will you come with me right now to meet him?" In the next clip, Friedman is sitting in front of a computer screen, when Jack Black appears.

          "Oh my god!" Friedman says, and Black excitedly raises the roof with his hands and says, "Yeahhhh! What's up, Sasha?! Oh my god, is it your birthday? Is it true?" Friedman is smiling from ear-to-ear, and says yes while thanking him.

          - YouTubewww.youtube.com

          Black adds that it is great to meet her, and Garza jumps in saying, "She was just talking about you yesterday!" And Garza adds in the caption that it has been Friedman's dream to meet Black. "No way!" Black says, and Friedman replies, "I was singing your song!" Black asks, "Were you singing 'Lava Chicken'?!"

          Friedman says, "Sadly yes," as Black laughs and responds, "I'm sorry about that. It is everywhere! You can't escape my 'Lava Chicken'!" Then, Friedman starts singing it to Black, who starts dancing and mouthing the words with her. "Oh my god, that was the most beautiful rendition!" he tells her.

          The two continue to chat, and Friedman shares more about her cancer journey with him. "I've been fighting cancer for three years now. I had three ribs removed," she says, and Black replies, "Wow." She continues, "And I had part of my skull removed." Blacks says "wow" again, before Freidman shares, "And that was probably the hardest part, is losing a part of yourself."

          Black tells her, "You're an amazing kid, and it was really great getting to talk to you and hang out with you for a little while." Before they end the call, Friedman asks him, "Can I get a 'Chicken Jockey' before you leave?!" And Black happily gives her one in dramatic fashion. "Wait a second, someone just came in the room...who is that? CHICKEN JOCKEY!" They all laugh together, and the video ends.

          And the video of their meeting received so many positive comments. Friedman herself wrote, "Thank you so much @isaiahgarza and @jackblack. You made it one of the best days of my whole life." Another viewer added, "Jack is one of the best people in Hollywood seems to actually care for his fans." And another wrote, "Jack Black will forever be a legend. Great guy all around." And another also commented, "I appreciate when public figures do this. You can tell that Jack made this girl’s day. I hope she continues to fight cancer courageously. ❤️"

          Friedman's family has created a GoFundMe to help raise funds for her cancer treatment.

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