Making new friends as an adult is challenging. While people crave meaningful IRL connections, it can be hard to know where to find them. But thanks to one Facebook Group, meeting your new best friends is easier than ever.
Founded in 2018, NYC Brunch Squad brings together hundreds of people who come as strangers and leave as friends through its in-person events.
“Witnessing the transformative impact our community has on the lives of our members is truly remarkable. We provide the essential support and connections needed to thrive amid the city's chaos,” shares Liza Rubin, the group’s founder.
Despite its name, the group doesn’t just do brunch. They also have book clubs, seasonal parties, and picnics, among other activities.
NYC Brunch Squad curates up to 10 monthly events tailored to the specific interests of its members. Liza handles all the details, taking into account different budgets and event sizes – all people have to do is show up.
“We have members who met at our events and became friends and went on to embark on international journeys to celebrate birthdays together. We have had members get married with bridesmaids by their sides who were women they first connected with at our events. We’ve had members decide to live together and become roommates,” Liza says.
Members also bond over their passion for giving back to their community. The group has hosted many impact-driven events, including a “Picnic with Purpose” to create self-care packages for homeless shelters and recently participated in the #SquadSpreadsJoy challenge. Each day, the 100 members participating receive random acts of kindness to complete. They can also share their stories on the group page to earn extra points. The member with the most points at the end wins a free seat at the group's Friendsgiving event.
If you want to meet the group in person, NYC Brunch Squad, along with many other locally-based New York groups, is participating in the upcoming Facebook IRL event on December 2. This pop-up experience in New York City’s West Village will provide a space to discover new hobbies, find new friends, and connect with others around the things they love.
Learn more about the event and sign up to attend here .
Not in the New York area but still want to get involved? As a result of NYC Brunch Squad’s popularity, the group is expanding across the country.
“With a robust community established in NYC, we're now excited to announce our expansion with pop-up events in the works in 15 additional cities. What's more, we're launching a travel club, extending our mission to foster connections beyond the city limits and to help people build life-changing friendships in new and exciting places,” Liza says.
If you’re ready to make new meaningful connections, join NYC Brunch Squad ! You might just meet your new best friends.
In 125 years, millions of people have looked at this painting. No one really saw it until recently.
Van Gogh saw something it took scientists another 100 years to see.
Van Gogh’s Starry Night.
Van Gough never got to enjoy his own historic success as an artist ( even though we've been able to imagine what that moment might have looked like). But it turns out that those of us who have appreciated his work have been missing out on some critical details for more than 100 years.
I'm not easily impressed, OK?
I know Van Gogh was a genius. If the point of this were "Van Gogh was a mad genius," I would not be sharing this with you.
But I found this and I thought, "Oh, what a vaguely interesting thing." And then I got to the part about the Hubble Space Telescope, and, let me tell you: Mind. Blown.
We've got the set up here, but you have to watch the video for the full effect. It's all the way at the bottom.
Get this: Van Gogh was a pretty cool artist (duh), but as it turns out...
What’s the truth behind when you take off an ear?
...he was also A SCIENTIST!*
*Pretty much.
Here's the story.
While Van Gogh was in an asylum in France, after he mutilated his ear during a psychotic episode*...
(*Or, and I'd like to thank the entire Internet for pointing this out, there's a theory that his friend Paul Gauguin actually cut off his ear, in a drunken sword fight, in the dark. The more you know!)
Animated a thinking one-eared Van Gogh.
All Van Gogh GIFs via TED-Ed .
...he was able to capture one of science's most elusive concepts:
~~~TURBULENCE~~~
Turbulence expressed through art.
Although it's hard to understand with math (like, REALLY HARD), it turns out that art makes it easy to depict how it LOOKS.
So what is turbulence?
Turbulence, or turbulent flow, is a concept of fluid dynamics where fluid movements are "self-similar" when there's an energy cascade — so basically, big eddies make smaller eddies, and those make even smaller ones ... and so on and so forth.
It looks like this:
Pictures explain science.
See? It's easier to look at pictures to understand it.
Thing is, scientists are pretty much *just* starting to figure this stuff out.
Animation of referencing art to science.
Then you've got Van Gogh, 100 years earlier, in his asylum, with a mutilated ear, who totally nailed it!
Science studying Van Gogh.
The folks who noticed Van Gogh's ability to capture turbulence checked to see whether other artists did the same. Most impressionists achieved " luminance" with their art (which is the sort-of *pulsing* you see when you look at their paintings that really shows what light looks like).
But did other artists depict turbulence the way Van Gogh did?
NOPE.
Capturing concepts of nature.
Even in his darkest time, Van Gogh was able to capture — eerily accurately — one of nature's most complex and confusing concepts ... 100 years before scientists had the technology to observe actual star turbulence and realize its similarity to fluid turbulence mathematics as well as Van Gogh's swirling sky. Cool, huh?
Watch the video below to learn even more:
This article originally appeared on November 14, 2014
Women do better when they have a group of strong female friends, study finds
We're stronger together.
Women do better when they have female friends.
Madeleine Albright
once said
, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." It turns out that might actually be a hell on Earth, because women just do better when they have other women to rely on, and there's research that backs it up.
A study published in the Harvard Business Review found that women who have a strong circle of friends are more likely to get executive positions with higher pay. "Women who were in the top quartile of centrality and had a female-dominated inner circle of 1-3 women landed leadership positions that were 2.5 times higher in authority and pay than those of their female peers lacking this combination," Brian Uzzi writes in the Harvard Business Review .
Part of the reason why women with strong women backing them up are more successful is because they can turn to their tribe for advice. Women have to face different challenges than men, such as unconscious bias, and being able to turn to other women who have had similar experiences can help you navigate a difficult situation. It's like having a road map for your goals.
It's interesting to note that women in leadership positions who lacked this style of support system didn't make as much as the women who did. "While women who had networks that most resembled those of successful men (i.e., centrality but no female inner circle) placed into leadership positions that were among the lowest in authority and pay," Uzzi writes. Men and women have different needs, and that even extends to their tribe.
But it's not just in the workplace. A 2006 study found that women who had 10 or more friends were more likely to survive the disease than women who lacked close friends. The study found socially isolated women were 64% more likely to die from cancer, and 43% more likely to have a breast cancer reoccurrence. Friendship is literally the best medicine.
Never underestimate the power of a group text with your girlfriends. Having a place to commiserate over sexism and support other women with goofy gifs when someone succeeds can enrich your life on all fronts.
This article originally appeared on 12.03.19
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3,700-year-old Babylonian stone tablet gets translated, changes history
They were doing trigonometry 1500 years before the Greeks.
Dr. Daniel Mansfield and his team at the University of New South Wales in Australia have just made an incredible discovery. While studying a 3,700-year-old tablet from the ancient civilization of Babylon, they found evidence that the Babylonians were doing something astounding: trigonometry!
Most historians have credited the Greeks with creating the study of triangles' sides and angles, but this tablet presents indisputable evidence that the Babylonians were using the technique 1,500 years before the Greeks ever were.
Mansfield and his team are, understandably, incredibly proud. What they discovered is that the tablet is actually an ancient trigonometry table.
Mansfield said :
"The huge mystery, until now, was its purpose – why the ancient scribes carried out the complex task of generating and sorting the numbers on the tablet. Our research reveals that Plimpton 322 describes the shapes of right-angle triangles using a novel kind of trigonometry based on ratios, not angles and circles. It is a fascinating mathematical work that demonstrates undoubted genius."
\u201cAussie mathematician cracks code of famous 3,700-year-old Babylonian clay tablet https://t.co/f7h6oIfBDr\u201d— China Xinhua News (@China Xinhua News) 1503639811
"The tablet not only contains the world's oldest trigonometric table; it is also the only completely accurate trigonometric table, because of the very different Babylonian approach to arithmetic and geometry. This means it has great relevance for our modern world. Babylonian mathematics may have been out of fashion for more than 3,000 years, but it has possible practical applications in surveying, computer graphics and education. This is a rare example of the ancient world teaching us something new."
The tablet predates Greek astronomer Hipparchus, who has long been regarded as the father of trigonometry. Mansfield's colleague, Norman Widberger, added:
"Plimpton 322 predates Hipparchus by more than 1,000 years. It opens up new possibilities not just for modern mathematics research, but also for mathematics education. With Plimpton 322 we see a simpler, more accurate trigonometry that has clear advantages over our own."
"A treasure trove of Babylonian tablets exists, but only a fraction of them have been studied yet. The mathematical world is only waking up to the fact that this ancient but very sophisticated mathematical culture has much to teach us."
People were understandably excited by the news.
\u201cA 3,700 year olf Babylonian tablet revealed as the world's first trigonometry table https://t.co/AQlpsndM92\u201d— The Conversation (@The Conversation) 1503613440
Some mathematicians actually think studying the Babylonians back then could help us improve the way we do trigonometry today.
\u201cBabylonian tablet Plimpton 322 will make studying maths easier, mathematician says https://t.co/s13ReWdD0c | @abcnews\u201d— ABC Australia (@ABC Australia) 1503644411
\u201c"With Plimpton 322 we see a simpler, more accurate trig. (with) clear advantages over our own."\n@n_wildberger: https://t.co/xoZBNxvxZ8\n#TOK\u201d— Roo Stenning (@Roo Stenning) 1503658186
Of course, there were the haters...
\u201cFind someone who loves you as much as this guy dislikes a hypothesis about Babylonian math: https://t.co/AznQgoYxFP\u201d— Miles Brundage (@Miles Brundage) 1503605001
But all in all, Twitter users were pretty impressed with the Babylonians' skills.
And they figured it out 3,700 years ahead of me...and counting.— Marty (@Marty) 1503631905
\u201c@prophiphop And we're over here trying to figure out how to do trig with our TI-83s... man I love it when the ancients show what real intelligence is.\u201d— Kenny Hayse (@Kenny Hayse) 1503633184
Congratulations to Dr. Mansfield and his team on their incredible discovery... and for making trigonometry exciting!
This article originally appeared on 07.10.21
Millennials nearing 40 are sharing their biggest mistakes so everyone can learn from them
Here are 21 of the most powerful responses.
Millennials are now old enough to seriously reflect on life.
It seems like only yesterday a millennial was a college kid that baby boomers chided for
being entitled
and Gen Xers thought were way
too sincere
and needed to learn how to
take a joke.
Today, the oldest millennials, those born
around 1980,
have hit their 40s and have lived long enough to have some serious regrets.
They also have enough experience to take some pride in decisions that, in hindsight, were the right moves.
The good news is that at 40 there is still plenty of time to learn from our successes and failures to set ourselves up for a great second half of life. These lessons are also valuable to the Gen Zers coming up who can avoid the pitfalls of the older generation.
A Reddit user who has since deleted their profile asked millennials nearing 40 “what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?” and they received more than 2,200 responses. The biggest regrets these millennials have are being flippant about their health and not saving enough money when they were younger.
They also realized that the carefree days of youth are fleeting and impossible to get back. So they should have spent less time working and more time enjoying themselves. Many also lamented that they should have taken their education more seriously in their 20s so they have more opportunities now.
The responses to this thread are bittersweet. It's tough hearing people come to grips with their regrets but the realizations are also opportunities to grow. Hopefully, some younger people will read this thread and take the advice to heart.
Here are 21 of the most powerful responses to the question: “Millennials of Reddit now nearing your 40s, what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?”
1.
"Not taking care of my hearing, not even 35 and going deaf." — Kusanagi8811
2.
"Not getting healthy earlier." — zombiearchivist
3.
"Staying too long at a job in my 20s, just because it was safe and easy. When I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up with an almost 50% pay boost." — Hrekires
4.
"Thinking that I could and should put myself on the back burner for anything and anyone else." — lenalilly227
5.
"Smoking and not dealing with my shit the right way." — Allenrw3
6.
"Pining after the wrong person." — runikepisteme
7.
"I turned 40 this year and just started liking who I am. Why the fuck did it take 40 years for self acceptance?" — guscallee
8.
"Take care of your fucking back. Lift with your knees. Sure it's rad when you grab a fridge by yourself and lift it in the back of a moving truck unaided, but one day that shit is going to have consequences that won't just magically go away by resting and "taking it easy" for a week."
— GuyTallman
9.
"I wish I spent more time with my dad while I had the chance." — CharlieChooper
10.
"I'm 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body, but I'm in relatively good health. I'm starting to realize how important it is to maintain my health. I do also think I drank far too much in my 20 and early 30's. I'm trying to rectify that now, but it's hard. So that I guess." — dartastic
11.
"I'm not sure if people have experienced the same but when I entered my 30s I became convinced I was rapidly running out of time. Rather than using that as motivation I let it paralyze me with indecision because I "couldn't afford to make the wrong choice." Consequently, I'm now 39 and, though I've had great things happen in my 30s, I regret spending so much time worrying and so little time committing to a course of action."
— tomwaste
12.
"Work to live, don’t live to work. You have half your working life after you turn 40 but only 20-25 years to really live it up before the responsibilities become heavy and your joints start to ache. Live life. Really LIVE it. Experience as much you can. Every sensation, sight, sound, touch. Be open. Be brave. Live your first few decades in the fast lane. You have the rest of your life to take it easy, when you have no choice." — MrDundee666
13.
"I should have paid more attention to my parents telling me to save money and less attention when they were teaching me about purity culture." — Arkie_MTB
14.
"If I could tell my 18 year old self one thing, it would be to save 10% of every paycheck I ever got." — PutAForkInHim
15.
"Thinking that I have time to do everything I want only to find myself loosing time, and the endless energy I used to have in order to purse them." — ezZiioFTW
16.
"Not wearing sunscreen." — blueboxreddress
17.
"Not recognizing the importance of work/life balance earlier in life. My late teens, all 20's, and early 30's were spent pulling 60-100+hr weeks because I thought it was what was required to succeed. How wrong I was. Others stabbed me in the back and reaped the reward.
1.) Putting work first for too long. Work is my #1 priority during work hours now. After quitting time, I don't think about it (much) anymore. I don't vent to my wife or friends about it anymore either.
2.) Investing more into fast cars than solid long-term investments. Sure, it was fun, but I could have made bookoos more had I put that towards less-fun investments.
3.) Not using PTO and just waiting for the payout. All those years, missed. I'm in my mid 30's and I didn't actually have a real vacation until 3 years ago.
4.) Not realizing that "the good guy" often loses. Just because you're morally justified doesn't mean you're going to win. Just because there's a number to call doesn't mean anyone will actually help you. Just because "law" exists, doesn't mean people follow it, enforce it, or create justice. The world is dog eat dog and cynicism can be healthy in moderate doses." — [Deleted]
18.
"When you get out of college, keep your friends. No matter how hard it is. Hold on to them." — mpssss22
19.
"I imagine these are kinda universal:
- Not getting fit and healthy
- Assuming I'd be offered proper guidance on how to achieve my goals
- Assuming higher education would help me achieve my goals
- Spending far too long caring what people think
- Not taking risks that might better my life when I was younger and had nothing to lose
- Staying in relationships too long after they were clearly done." — katapultperson
20.
"Always ask for more pay. Starting, yearly, before leaving, whatever. Get that money." — SensibleReply
21.
"Spending too much time in front of a screen and not enough enjoying life." — BellaPadella
This article originally appeared on 4.20.22
Stop blaming the 'Karens.' The people who complain the most have a different name.
The stereotype has been wrong all along.
A woman giving a stern warning.
Over the past few years, women named Karen have taken a lot of heat in the media. The term "Karen" has been used to describe a specific type of entitled, privileged and often middle-aged white woman. Typically, "Karen” is depicted as demanding, self-important and constantly seeking to escalate minor inconveniences to authority figures, like demanding to "speak to the manager."
Identifying the folks who create unnecessary drama in our world is important. But calling them a “Karen” isn’t the best way to solve the problem. There are many reasons to have an issue with the “Karen” stereotype. First, it’s terrible for people named Karen, and it’s also a connotation that many feel is racist , sexist and ageist.
Further, according to a new study by Trustpilot , the stereotype isn’t accurate. A recent survey by the online media site found that the people who leave the most one-star reviews aren’t female, and the women who do it the most aren’t named Karen.
Trustpilot is a site where people can review a business from which they’ve purchased a product or contacted customer service. According to TrustPilot, the number one biggest one-star reviewers are named John, not Karen.
“The name John is top for [one-star] reviews in the US, with the rest of the top five positions filled by David, Michael, Chris and James,” the site wrote in a press release . “Looking at specific categories, John is also first for negative reviews in Business Services, Electronics and Technology, Shopping and Fashion, and Money and Insurance. Meanwhile, Lisa left the most [one-star] reviews in our Beauty and Wellbeing category.”
So, if your name is Karen, keep this story in your back pocket next time someone stereotypes you as an entitled complainer. The real complainers are the Johns and, for the women, Lisas.
Why do people go online and write negative reviews? Psychologist William Berry writes in Psychology Today that people get many positive benefits from complaining, although they may annoy everyone around them.
The first big reason is an ego boost. When people complain, they feel validated. It also makes them feel superior to others. Complaining can also bring like-minded people together. If you and a significant other have ever been mistreated in a restaurant or car dealership, having a mutual enemy can work wonders for your relationship.
There are also entire groups of people who bond over a common gripe.
People who habitually complain may do so because of the brain’s negativity bias. “The human brain, geared for survival, focuses on negatives (as they appear more threatening to survival) than on positives (which enhance life but are less vital for survival),” Berry writes. “As the brain perceives negatives at an approximated ratio of five to one, there is simply more to complain about than there is to be grateful for. Additionally, this may lead to less general happiness.”
Here are the top 15 names of consumers who leave the most one-star reviews on Trustpilot. (Also known as the folks that owe the Karens out there an apology.)
1. John
2. David
3. Michael
4. Chris
5. James
6. Mike
7. Mark
8. Robert
9. Alex
10. Paul
11. Lisa
12. Sarah
13. Steve
14. Sam
15. Daniel
This article originally appeared on 9.7.23
People are mortified to find out how many moms daydream about being hospitalized
Yes, it's a real thing.
Lying in bed and looking out the window with no one asking for anything? Yes, please.
It's hard to explain the relentless
intensity of having young children
if you haven't done it. It's wonderful, beautiful, magical and all of that—it truly is—but it's a lot. Like,
a lot
. It's a bit like running an ultramarathon through the most beautiful landscape you can imagine. There's no question that it's amazing, but it's really, really hard. And sometimes there are storms or big hills or obstacles or twisted ankles or some other thing that makes it even more challenging for a while.
Unfortunately, a lot of moms feel like they're running that marathon alone. Some actually are. Some have partners who don't pull their weight. But even with an equal partner, the early years tend to be mom-heavy, and it takes a toll.
In fact, that toll is so great that it's not unusual for moms to fantasize about being hospitalized—not with anything serious, just something that requires a short stay—simply to get a genuine break .
In a thread on X (formerly Twitter) , a mom named Emily shared this truth: "[I don't know] if the lack of community care in our culture is more evident than when moms casually say they daydream about being hospitalized for something only moderately serious so that they are forced to not have any responsibilities for like 3 days."
In a follow-up tweet, she added, "And other moms are like 'yeah totally' while childfree Gen Z girls’ mouths hang open in horror."
Other moms corroborated, not only with the fantasy but the reality of getting a hospital break:
"And can confirm: I have the fondest memories of my appendicitis that almost burst 3 weeks after my third was born bc I emergency had to go get it taken out and I mean I let my neighbor take my toddlers and I let my husband give the baby formula, and I slept until I was actually rested. Under the knife, but still. It was really nice," wrote one mom.
"I got mastitis when my first was 4 months old. I had to have surgery, but my hospital room had a nice view, my mom came to see me, the baby was with me but other people mostly took care of her, bliss," shared another.
Some people tried to blame lackadaisical husbands and fathers for moms feeling overwhelmed, but as Emily pointed out, it's not always enough to have a supportive spouse. That's why she pointed to "lack of community care" in her original post.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a mother . Without the proverbial village, we end up bearing too much of the weight of childrearing ourselves. We're not just running the ultramarathon—we're also carrying the water, bandaging the blisters, moving fallen trees out of the way, washing the sweat out of our clothes—and we're doing it all without any rest.
Why don't moms just take a vacation instead of daydreaming about hospitalization? It's not that simple. Many people don't have the means for a getaway, but even if they do, there's a certain level of "mom guilt" that comes with purposefully leaving your young children. Vacations usually require planning and decision-making as well, and decision fatigue is one of the most exhausting parts of parenting.
Strange as it may seem, the reason hospitalization is attractive is that it's forced—if you're in the hospital, you have to be there, so there's no guilt about choosing to leave. It involves no decision-making—someone else is calling the all shots. You literally have no responsibilities in the hospital except resting—no one needs anything from you. And unlike when you're on vacation, most people who are caring for your kids when you're in the hospital aren't going to constantly contact you to ask you questions. They'll leave you to let you rest.
Paula Fitzgibbons shares that had three kids under the age of 3 in 11 months (two by adoption and one by birth). Her husband, despite being very involved and supportive, had a 1.5 hour commute for work, so the lion's share of childcare—"delightful utter chaos" as she refers to it—fell on her shoulders. At one point, she ended up in the ER with atrial fibrillation, and due to family medical history was kept in the hospital for a few days for tests and monitoring.
"When people came to visit me or called to see how I was, I responded that I was enjoying my time at 'the spa,' and though I missed my family, I was soaking it all in," she tells Upworthy. "My husband understood. Other mothers understood. The medical staff did not know what to make of my cheerful demeanor, but there I was, lying in bed reading and sleeping for four straight days with zero guilt. What a gift for a new mom."
When you have young children, your concept of what's relaxing shifts. I recall almost falling asleep during one of my first dental cleanings after having kids. That chair was so comfy and no one needed anything from me—I didn't even care what they were doing to my teeth. It felt like heaven to lie down and rest without any demands being made of me other than "Open a little wider, please."
Obviously, being hospitalized isn't ideal for a whole host of reasons, but the desire is real. There aren't a lot of simple solutions to the issue of moms needing a real break—not just an hour or two, but a few days—but maybe if society were structured in such a way that we had smaller, more frequent respites and spread the work of parenting across the community, we wouldn't feel as much of a desire to be hospitalized simply to be able to be able to rejuvenate.
This article originally appeared on 9.7.23