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One of the 3 students killed in North Carolina made a heartbreaking recording just a few months ago.

It's so lovely and so sad.

On Feb. 10, 2015, three young people were senselessly shot to death in their hometown of Chapel Hill, North Carolina.


One of the victims was Yusor Abu-Salha, a 21-year-old recent graduate of N.C. State University.

Yusor had married her high school sweetheart, Deah Barakat, just two months earlier. She had moved to Chapel Hill to live with him while he attended dental school.

He was also killed in the shooting.

Yusor and Deah had known each other since elementary school, where they had the same third-grade teacher. That teacher was Sister Mussarut Jabeen.

A few months before the tragedy, Yusor and Sister Jabeen visited StoryCorps, a nonprofit organization that records ordinary Americans interviewing each other about their lives.

It would be one of the last times her voice was ever recorded.

The first part is the interview Yusor and Sister Jabeen gave in early 2014. In it, Yusor talks about how grateful she was to have been raised in the United States.

"Growing up in America has been such a blessing. And although in some ways I do stand out, such as, you know, the hijab, the head covering, there's still so many ways I feel so embedded that is the fabric that is our culture. Here we're all one." — Yusor Abu-Salha

She also recalls a fond memory from Sister Jabeen's class.

"I still remember in 3rd grade when we'd ask for something, you used to say, 'Don't put your hand like this.' You'd have your hand facing downwards as if you're taking something from someone. And then you'd flip your hand over and you'd open your hand up as a giving gesture ... Be giving. Open. Compassionate." — Yusor Abu-Salha

Sister Jabeen had wonderful memories of Yusor too, and she was delighted that she had married Deah, one of her other students.

"I just remember Deah, when he was growing up, he was getting taller, and because I'm a short person, he would stand behind me and put his hand over my head. And I just told him, 'Deah, you can never outgrow my heart.'" — Mussarut Jabeen

Sister Jabeen came back to StoryCorps just days after Yusor was killed to record the very end of the piece. In it, she gives a lovely, bittersweet tribute to her former student.

"I would like people to know her and remember her as a practicing Muslim, as a daughter, and above all, as a good human being. When we write our comments on report cards, we say they 'exceeded our expectations.' She exceeded our expectations." — Mussarut Jabeen

Rest in peace.

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National Geographic Documentary Films
National Geographic Documentary Films
Family

Nat Geo's 'Blink' tracks a family finding beauty while facing blindness as they travel the globe

“Let's go all in and fill their visual memory with as much beauty as we can."

via Edith Lemay/NatGeo

Mia, Leo, Colin, and Laurent Pelletier pose on top of their camper van in front of adouble rainbow while in Mongolia.

True

“Blink,” a new film by National Geographic Documentary Films shows how a family with four children, three of whom are going blind, embraces life in the face of an uncertain future. It’s a testament to the resilience of the Lemay-Pelletier family but also a reminder for all of us to seize the day because all our futures are uncertain.

Edith Lemay and Sébastien Pelletier are the parents of Mia, a 13-year-old girl, and three boys: Léo, 11, Colin, 9, and Laurent, 7. Over the last six years, they’ve learned that Mia and the two youngest boys have retinitis pigmentosa, a rare genetic disease in which the cells of the retina slowly die. As the disease progresses, the person develops “tunnel vision” that shrinks until very little vision remains.

The diagnosis devastated the parents. "The hardest part with the diagnosis was inaction. There's nothing they can do about it. There's no treatment,” Edith says in the film.

However, even though the parents couldn’t affect the progress of the disease, they could give their children’s senses an epic experience that would benefit them for a lifetime.

“We don’t know how fast it’s going to go, but we expect them to be completely blind by mid-life,” said the parents. Mia’s impairment advisor suggested they fill her visual memory with pictures from books. “I thought, I’m not going to show her an elephant in a book; I’m going to take her to see a real elephant,” Edith explains in the film. “And I’m going to fill her visual memory with the best, most beautiful images I can.”

The Pelletier family (from left): Mia, Sebastien, Colin, Edith Lemay, Laurent and Leo inKuujjuaq, Canada.via National Geographic/Katie Orlinsky

This realization led to an inspiring year-long journey across 24 countries, during which every family member experienced something on their bucket list. Mia swam with dolphins, Edith rode a hot-air balloon in Cappadocia, and Léo saw elephants on safari.

Colin realized his dream of sleeping on a moving train while Sébastien saw the historic site of Angkor Wat.

“We were focusing on sights,” explains Pelletier. “We were also focusing a lot on fauna and flora. We’ve seen incredible animals in Africa but also elsewhere. So we were really trying to make them see things that they wouldn’t have seen at home and have the most incredible experiences.”

Cameras followed the family for 76 days as they traveled to far-flung locales, including Namibia, Mongolia, Egypt, Laos, Nepal and Turkey. Along the way, the family made friends with local people and wildlife. In a heartbreaking scene, the boys wept as the family had to leave behind a dog named Bella he befriended in the mountains of Nepal.

But the film isn't just about the wonders of nature and family camaraderie. The family's trip becomes a “nightmare” when they are trapped in a cable car suspended hundreds of feet above the Ecuadorian forest for over 10 hours.

annapurna range, blink, nat geoLeo, Laurent, Edith, Colin, Mia, and Sebastien look out at the mountains in the Annapurna range.via MRC/Jean-Sébastien Francoeur

As expected, NatGeo’s cinematographers beautifully capture the family's journey, and in the case of “Blink,” this majestic vision is of even greater importance. In some of the film's quietest moments, we see the children taking in the world's wonders, from the vast White Desert in Egypt to a fearless butterfly in Nepal, with the full knowledge that their sight will fail one day.

Along the way, the family took as many pictures as possible to reinforce the memories they made on their adventure. “Maybe they’ll be able to look at the photographs and the pictures and they will bring back those stories, those memories, of the family together,” Edith says.

But the film is about more than travel adventures and the pain of grief; ultimately, it’s about family.

“By balancing [the parents’ grief] with a more innocent and joyous tale of childlike wonder and discovery, we felt we could go beyond a mere catalog of locations and capture something universal,” the directors Edmund Stenson and Daniel Roher, said in a statement. “Keeping our camera at kid-height and intimately close to the family, we aimed to immerse the audience in the observational realities of their daily life, as well as the subtle relationships between each of them. This is a film built on looks, gestures and tiny details—the very fabric of our relationships with one another.”

Ultimately, “Blink” is a great film to see with your loved ones because it’s a beautiful reminder to appreciate the wonders of our world, the gift of our senses and the beauty of family.

The film will open in over 150 theaters in the U.S. and Canada beginning Oct. 4 and will debut on National Geographic Channel and stream on Disney+ and Hulu later this year. Visit the “Blink” website for more information.

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'It's not Little Sun': Mom admits she's having trouble pronouncing her newborn's name

It was fine 'til other people tried to say it and now she's confused.

via JustusMoms29/TikTok (used with permission)

Justus Stroup is starting to realize her baby's name isn't that common.

One of the many surprises that come with parenthood is how the world reacts to your child’s name. It’s less of a surprise if your child has a common name like John, Mohammed, or Lisa. But if you give your child a non-traditional name that’s gender-neutral, you’re going to throw a lot of folks off-guard and mispronunciations are going to be an issue.

This exact situation happened with TikTok user Justus Stroup, who recently had her second child, but there’s a twist: she isn’t quite sure how to pronounce her child’s name either.

"I may have named my daughter a name I can't even pronounce," Stroup opens the video. "Now, I think I can pronounce it, but I've told a couple of people her name and there are two people who thought I said the same exact thing. So, I don't know that I know how to [pronounce] her name correctly."


@justusmoms29

Just when you think you name your child something normal! #2under2mom #postpartum #newborn #momsoftiktok #uniquenames #babyname #babygirl #sahm #momhumor

Stroup’s daughter is named Sutton and the big problem is how people around her pronounce the Ts. Stroup tends to gloss over the Ts, so it sounds like Suh-en. However, some people go hard on the Ts and call her “Sut-ton.”

"I'm not gonna enunciate the 'Ts' like that. It drives me absolutely nuts," she noted in her TikTok video. "I told a friend her name one time, and she goes, 'Oh, that's cute.' And then she repeated the name back to me and I was like, 'No, that is not what I said.'"

Stroup also had a problem with her 2-year-old son’s speech therapist, who thought the baby’s name was Sun and that there weren’t any Ts in the name at all. "My speech therapist, when I corrected her and spelled it out, she goes, 'You know, living out in California, I have friends who named their kids River and Ocean, so I didn't think it was that far off.'"

Stroup told People that she got the name from a TV show called “The Lying Game,” which she used to watch in high school. "Truthfully, this was never a name on my list before finding out I was pregnant with a girl, but after finding out the gender, it was a name I mentioned and my husband fell in love with," says Stroup. "I still love the name. I honestly thought I was picking a strong yet still unique name. I still find it to be a pretty name, and I love that it is gender neutral as those are the type of names I love for girls."

The mother could choose the name because her husband named their son Greyson.



The commenters thought Stroup should tell people it’s Sutton, pronounced like a button. “I hear it correctly! Sutton like Button. I would pronounce it like you, too!” Amanda wrote.

“My daughter’s name is Sutton. I say it the same way as you. When people struggle with her name, I say it’s Button but with a S. That normally immediately gets them to pronounce it correctly,” Megan added.

After the video went viral, Stroup heard from people named Hunter and Peyton, who are dealing with a similar situation. “I've also noticed the two most common names who run into the same issue are Hunter (people pronouncing it as Hunner or HUNT-ER) and Payton (pronounced Pey-Ton or Pey-tin, most prefer it as Pey-tin),” she told Upworthy.

“Another person commented saying her name is Susan and people always think it is Season or Steven,” Stroup told Upworthy. After having her second child, she learned that people mix up even the simplest names. “No name is safe at this point,” she joked.

The whole situation has Stroup rethinking how she pronounces her daughter’s name. Hopefully, she got some advance on how to tell people how to pronounce it, or else she’ll have years of correcting people in front of her. "Good lord, I did not think this was going to be my issue with this name," she said.

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MIT’s trillion-frames-per-second camera can capture light as it travels

"There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

Photo from YouTube video.

Photographing the path of light.

A new camera developed at MIT can photograph a trillion frames per second.

Compare that with a traditional movie camera which takes a mere 24. This new advancement in photographic technology has given scientists the ability to photograph the movement of the fastest thing in the Universe, light.

The actual event occurred in a nano second, but the camera has the ability to slow it down to twenty seconds.

time, science, frames per second, bounced light

The amazing camera.

Photo from YouTube video.

 For some perspective, according to New York Times writer, John Markoff, "If a bullet were tracked in the same fashion moving through the same fluid, the resulting movie would last three years."


In the video below, you'll see experimental footage of light photons traveling 600-million-miles-per-hour through water.

It's impossible to directly record light so the camera takes millions of scans to recreate each image. The process has been called femto-photography and according to Andrea Velten, a researcher involved with the project, "There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

(H/T Curiosity)


This article originally appeared on 09.08.17

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Dad uses simple math trick to stop his 6-year-old's tantrums in their tracks

It works — and it's psychologist approved.

OPPO Find X5 Pro & Chris Liverani/Unsplash

Sometimes parenting tricks are deceptively simple.

Tantrums, meltdowns, and emotional outbursts are the bane of parents' existence.

Once they start, they're like a freight train. There seems to be almost no way to stop them other than staying calm and letting them run their course.

That is, until one dad on Reddit revealed his secret method.

A thread titled "Hack your youngster's big emotions with math" has every parent on Reddit saying, why didn't I think of that?

User u/WutTheHuck posted a simple comment on the subreddit r/daddit earlier this month.

"Heard about this recently - when your kid is having a meltdown, doing math engages a different part of their brain and helps them move past the big feelings and calm down," he writes.

"We've been doing this with our very emotional 6-yr-old, when she decides that she wants to cooperate - asking her a handful of simple addition and subtraction questions will very quickly allow her to get control of herself again and talk about her feelings."

So, basically, when the sobs and screams come on strong, having your kid tell you the answer to 3+3, or 10-7 is a good way to get them calm again, and fast.

OP goes on to call the technique "magical," and mentions that his 6-year-old is legendary in his household for her epic tantrums.

The unique trick became a popular post on the subreddit, with a few hundreds comments from dads who were intrigued and willing to give it a try.

A month later, the results are in. The math trick works wonders.

math problemsOK, we said SIMPLE mathAntoine Dautry/unsplash

What struck me as I read through r/daddit was how many follow-up threads there were that said something to the effect of:

The math trick worked!

One user wrote that when his kids woke up screaming from a nightmare, he responded with a simple addition question.

"Soon as my wife closed the door ... [my kid] wanted mommy and started yelling her head off. I remembered the math trick and went 'what's 2+2?' It worked like a charm; the screaming ceased by the second question," he said.

In a separate thread, u/LighTMan913 had a message for "whoever posted here a few days ago about having your kid do mental math when they're upset..."

"You're a mother fudging genius," he said.

"My 7-year-old got in trouble for being mean to his brother shortly before bed time. He was rolled over facing the wall in bed. Wouldn't say goodnight. Just giving mumbles into the bed that are impossible to hear for answers.

"Started with 2+2 and by the time we got to 4096 he was smiling and laughing. 5 minutes after I left the room he called me back in to tell me he thinks he figured out 4096 + 4096 and I worked him through his wrong, albeit very close, answer.

"Worked like a charm. Thank you."

It's not just random dads on the Internet. Experts agree that this method is a bona fide winner for dealing with tantrums and outbursts.

upset kidHelping kids calm down can be a challenge.Annie Spratt/Unsplash

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author, had this to say about the viral technique:

"When our emotions rise, our logic decreases. The more emotional we feel, the more difficult it is to think clearly.

"A simple math problem requires you to raise your logic, which automatically decreases the intensity of an emotion."

Morin says that the math trick basically boils down to a distraction. A distraction with the added bonus of re-engaging the logical side of a child's brain.

"If you do what's known as 'changing the channel' in your brain, you get your mind thinking about something else--like a math problem. When you shift your attention, your thoughts change," Morin says, adding that adults can use this concept when they're feeling overwhelmed, too.

"When a child is upset, don't talk about why they're upset or why a tantrum is inappropriate. Instead, help them change the channel in their brains and raise their logic. When everyone is calm, you can have a discussion about how the strategy works--and how they can apply it themselves when you're not available to remind them."

Now I just need to get my 4-year-old up to speed on basic addition and subtraction and I'll be made in the shade!

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Grandma got a secret DNA test after noticing her granddaughter didn't look like her siblings

People think she was right to do it, too.

via Christian Buehner/Unsplash and Warren Umoh/Unsplash

The grandmother was suspicious.

A grandmother always felt her middle granddaughter Lindsay, 15, looked slightly different from the rest of the family because she had blonde, curly hair, while the rest of her siblings’ hair was dark “I thought genetics was being weird and I love her,” she wrote on Reddit’s AITA forum.

But things became serious after Linday’s parents “banned” her from taking things a step further and getting a DNA test. If the family was sure their daughter was theirs, why would they forbid her from seeking clarity in the situation? After the parents laid down the law, the situation started to seem a little suspicious.

“I told my son and [daughter-in-law] that there was something fishy around her birth she needed to know. They denied it and told me to leave it alone,” the grandma wrote.

Lindsay wouldn’t give up her quest. She approached her biology teacher, who admitted that it was “odd” for her to have such different traits. This confusion was too much for Lindsay, so she went to her grandmother for help. “She came to me distressed, asking me to buy a DNA test since she needs to know,” the grandmother wrote.

dna tests, paternity tests, grandmothers

She had blonde, curly hair. But her siblings all had black hair.

via Allef Vinicius/Unsplash

The grandmother purchased a DNA test and it proved their suspicions. “Long story short, she is not her mother's kid,” the grandmother wrote. “My son got someone else pregnant and her bio mom gave her up.”

The interesting thing was that Lindsay was a middle child. So, the dad had a baby with another woman while he was with his wife. This revelation begs the question: How did the family suddenly have a baby out of nowhere without people being suspicious?

“They were on the other side of the country when she was born, and I met Lindsey when she was about 6 months old. Really not hard to hide the whole thing,” the grandmother wrote. “Our family has a history of miscarriages, so it’s common to drop news about a baby late in the pregnancy. They did the same with their oldest and didn't think anything about it.”

The big revelation has caused friction in the family. The family no longer talks to the grandmother, which makes Lindsay even more furious about the situation.

Should the grandmother have taken such drastic steps if she knew what could happen if her suspicions were true? The commenters on Reddit overwhelmingly supported the grandmother’s decision. The big reason was that Lindsay needed to know her family history for medical reasons.

"Your son and his wife suck for lying to her until she is 15 about something so important and trying to keep lying to her even after she obviously started to question things. There are medical reasons a person might need to know what their genetics are/are not, and if you hadn’t helped her, she would have found out some other way," Shake_Speare423 wrote.

Another commenter noted that protecting the parents’ lie wasn’t nearly as important as Lindsay’s mental health.

"People have a right to know their genetic heritage. Lying about adoption is linked to increased suicidal ideation, anxiety, and depression. You put her safety and comfort ahead of your son’s preferences. Parental rights do not have greater value than a child’s right to access comprehensive medical care, and hiding an adoption does precisely that. Maybe some things, like a child staying healthy, should matter more than a parent's right to lie, gaslight and manipulate their child as they see fit," RemembrancerLirael added.

The commenters overwhelmingly supported the grandma for putting herself into an uncomfortable situation to protect her granddaughter’s mental and physical health. However, one commenter noted that she could have gone about it in a less polarizing way.

“Bit out of the norm for the responses here, but you should have gone through your son [and daughter-in-law] and convinced them. Told them that the biology teacher had highlighted that she had traits that didn't make sense, etc. and convinced them that Lindsey would find out either way,” PhilMcGraw wrote. “It would have allowed them to find a way to tell her without it being forced on them angrily. A DNA test is the absolute worst way to be told. I'm sure they would have much rather told her than let her find out by a DNA test if that is what was coming.”


This article originally appeared on 11.29.23

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Health

Doctor's alcohol tip that 'could save your life' goes viral on TikTok

Something to keep in mind for holiday parties and beyond.

@drhoeflinger/TikTok

A doctor's take on drinking at parties

New Year’s Eve is often a night filled with celebratory shots and champagne toasts. But as the party night fast approaches, one doctor is gently reminding folks the importance of partying responsibly during the holidays. Really, it’s a piece of advice that’s important all year long.

Dr. Brian Hoeflinger, an Ohio based neurosurgeon with over two decades of experience, has a TikTok channel filled with educational videos and lifestyle tips. But it’s his latest clip explaining just how long it takes our bodies to break down alcohol that has gone viral.

In the video, which was shared on Christmas Day, Dr. Hoeflinger sets the scene of a party where “a lot of drinks are going down” by setting up a bunch of shot glasses filled with water.

“Say you’re having five drinks in the first hour,” he says, taking five fake, water-filled shots. “As you’re taking them, that alcohol is building up in your system fast. [It] goes to your brain within five minutes and starts to affect you."


The same can’t be said for other parts of the body. As Dr. Hoeflinger noted, “your liver only metabolizes one ounce of alcohol per hour.” And according to Northwestern Medicine, that process only begins 20 minutes after consumption.

Hoflinger continues, “I've got five ounces of liquor in my system right now, and at the end of the hour I'm only going to burn off an ounce…so I'm going to have [four] ounces left in my bloodstream.”

@doctorhoeflinger Knowing this about drinking could save your life! #fyp #party #drinking #alcohol #foryou #holiday #christmas ♬ Storytelling - Adriel

Of course, there are different factors—such as body mass, hormones, medications, etc.—that affect someone’s rate of absorption. And yes, we might be able to form a functional tolerance where behaviorally, we show no signs of intoxication. However, even with all these variables, for the most part all bodies are affected by alcohol similarly. In other words, your blood alcohol level will be more or less the same, and the risks will remain even if you don't "feel drunk."

Hoeflinger continues, saying “the party’s rockin’, so we’re gonna have some more,” while taking three more shots and reminding viewers that he still has only burned off one ounce of liquor during the hour that’s passed.

Now he’s had a total of eight ounces of alcohol in two hours. He’s burned off two, but still has six ounces left in his system—meaning that in this scenario, it will take another six hours to completely burn off.

In hour three, Hoefligner takes one shot since the party is “winding down.” This brings him up to a total of nine ounces of alcohol over three hours. His liver has metabolized three ounces, leaving him (still) with six ounces of liquor left in his bloodstream.

“You’re going to be drunk well into the wee hours of the morning, it doesn’t wear off,” he warns, noting the common misconception people have that “they stop drinking an hour or two and can hop in the car and drive." But in reality, "you can't do that as you're still drunk five, six hours down,” he explains.

Dr. Hoeflinger concludes his video by saying:

"For this holiday season the whole point is I really want to tell people that's how alcohol can stack up in your system easily when you're drunk and you won't know it and it won't wear off for hours and hours down the road." This is followed by an urge for people to take an Uber or Lyft home to avoid potentially taking their own or another’s life.

The informative clip, which has been viewed over 13 million times, received a flood of praise from viewers online, especially from parents with kids of a drinking age.

“This is the first time I have ever had anyone explain this in this way. I am forwarding this to my son,” wrote one parent.

It also resonated among designated drivers. One person commented “thank you for caring and educating. I’m the sober ride. I've seen the devastation from drinking and driving.”

The topic hits Dr. Hoeflinger on a personal level as well. In a previous video, he shared that he lost his 18-year old son, who died nearly a decade ago from drunk driving. Coming from a medical professional, the plea to not drink and drive is important to hear. But as a parent, it hits different. As he shared in the clip, “losing somebody you love is one of the worst experiences you can have in your life.”

Though Hoeflinger focused on the effect of liquor in his party example, the principle applies to wine and beer as well. Healthline recommends only having one large glass of wine every three hours, and one pint of beer every two hours.

It also gives some best practices to avoid intoxication, including:

  • Eat at least 1 hour before drinking.
  • Sip your drinks slowly.
  • Avoid shots, which you’re likely to down rather than sip.
  • Don’t drink more than one standard drink per hour.
  • Alternate between alcohol and nonalcoholic drinks, preferably water.
  • Limit or avoid carbonated drinks, like champagne, sparkling wine, and cocktails mixed with soda.
  • Sit down when drinking, since doing it while standing tends to make people drink faster.

And of course, don’t be afraid to get another ride home. For New Year’s Eve (and beyond), feel free to kick back and have fun. But let’s look out for one another by doing it safely.


This article originally appeared on 12.31.22

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