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A mom's viral post about her kid interrupting her shower 67 times is a must read

Despite the existence of thousands of parenting books and websites, no one can prepare you for the reality of raising human beings. I've often referred to motherhood as a roller coaster, in which you experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, and there's no map to show you what's coming around the bend. And sometimes it's excruciatingly difficult.

I love my children more than I can express, of course. That's a caveat that shouldn't need to be articulated. Unfortunately, it's one that oddly requires defending any time a mom dares to share the hard parts of parenting in an honest, in-the-moment way.

Writer and mother Suka Nasrallah shared a heartfelt Facebook post about her morning shower and how it was interrupted 67 times by one of her children. The post has gone viral, as mothers everywhere see themselves in her words. She wrote:


67 times

He called for me 67 times while I was in the shower

Mind you I started counting half way in, as a way to keep myself calm and not scream back, so surely it was more than 67 times.

But for the sake of transparency, 67 times

67 times I listened to him yell 'mama' and bang on the bathroom door

While I stood under the hot water drowning in my tears because I couldn't bear the sound of his voice anymore and I had no will to reply

I had no will to keep a conversation going while I was in the shower

I had no will to keep a conversation when I desperately needed a few minutes to myself

Because the coffee just didn't do it and it was barely 9 am

Because they had been up since 6:45 that morning shouting demands at me

All I wanted was 10 minutes to myself, but clearly that was too much to ask

67 times

Mama

Mama

Mama

Mama

Mama

67 times that word rang in my ears

This is why mothers are so touched out

This is why we stay awake so late knowing we're going to regret it in the morning

This is why we we are always quick to snap

This is why we are so sensitive

Because we are desensitized

We are numb

We are so beyond worn out

Burnt out

Drained

Struggling

Misunderstood

Being needed all the time is simply draining, and a mother never stops being needed

We have no visible finish line

#thisismotherhood

It has been many years since my own kids pounded on the door while I tried to get two minutes of peace in the bathroom. Now tweens and young adults, they're all sound asleep when I shower, but I remember those early years well. The little kid stage is adorable, but it's a LOT. And it's totally okay for a mom to say, "This moment sucks, I feel like I'm drowning."

And yet, even with many moms chiming in to say, "Yes! I've been there," some Judgey McJudgersons showed up in the comments to rail on this mom for complaining. One gentleman (ahem) even went so far as to lecture her about how motherhood requires dedication, patience, sacrifice, and love as if this mother doesn't know that and isn't hip-deep in all of those things. Others flat out said she was bad at parenting. Some presumably well-meaning but clearly amnesiac parents told her she should enjoy this time because someday she'll miss it.

I'm a parent of older kids and let me tell you I do not miss the shower interruptions and constant neediness of early childhood. I loved the toddler/preschool years for their wonder and innocence and sweetness, but there are parts that you couldn't pay me to relive. It's okay for two things to be true at once. Motherhood can be—and often is—magical and mind-blowingly hard at the same time.

And moms need to be able to vent during the hard times without people questioning their dedication to or love for their children. Nasrallah shared a follow-up post explaining that sharing the raw, real moments when motherhood is challenging doesn't in any way means she doesn't love being a mother.

I feel the need to "back-up" my recent post that has been circulating about my son calling me 67 times in the shower.

Motherhood is terrifying.

You're giving yourself whole to another person; committing to a lifelong relationship.

But somewhere in that fear, somewhere in the exhaustion, somewhere between not having the will to listen to someone calling you mama for another second, and shouting demands at you, and needing you for their survival, you'll catch a glimpse of your baby doing the sweetest thing.

You'll notice how the profile of your baby's face has become less chubby and more defined like that of a toddler.

Somewhere between the mental exhaustion and sleepless nights and these little glimpses, you'll find your heart swelling with a love so deep and so powerful that it quite literally sweeps you off your feet.

And in that exact moment you'll think to yourself, I'd do this 100 times over, just for this moment.

So yes, it's worth every sleepless night, every teething baby, every fever they may spike, every time they holler mama at you until your head is pounding.

At the end of it all, it's so very worth it.

Even when I complain and vent and say I just need to be alone, I still love my children with every ounce of my being, every bone in my body, every breath I take.

Saying I'm struggling does not, in ANY way, shape or form imply that I do not love my children. I adore them and would cross oceans for them in a heart beat.

The follow-up shouldn't have been necessary, though. We've got to stop demanding that mothers either sugarcoat the hard work of raising kids or chase every honest account of difficulty with some version of "but I swear I really do love my kids!"

Motherhood is hella hard. It's okay to say that and let it be a true statement all on its own. It's okay to share the beauty and the difficulty in equal measure. It's okay to let other mothers know they are not alone in their struggles and to let them know they are seen, even when they are staring at the shower wall, exhausted and overwhelmed and alone.

Thank you, Suka Nasrallah, for sharing that slice of truth about motherhood openly and honestly. And hang in there, mamas of little ones. It does get logistically easier. You will have time to yourself. You will sleep through the night. You will be able to use the bathroom uninterrupted.

And it's totally okay to yearn for that time to come, even while holding onto your children's childhoods as long as you can.

For more honest words about motherhood from Suka Nasrallah, check out her upcoming book, "Unfiltered Truths About Motherhood: Captive and Captivated."



All images provided by Bombas

We can all be part of the giving movement

True

We all know that small acts of kindness can turn into something big, but does that apply to something as small as a pair of socks?

Yes, it turns out. More than you might think.

A fresh pair of socks is a simple comfort easily taken for granted for most, but for individuals experiencing homelessness—they are a rare commodity. Currently, more than 500,000 people in the U.S. are experiencing homelessness on any given night. Being unstably housed—whether that’s couch surfing, living on the streets, or somewhere in between—often means rarely taking your shoes off, walking for most if not all of the day, and having little access to laundry facilities. And since shelters are not able to provide pre-worn socks due to hygienic reasons, that very basic need is still not met, even if some help is provided. That’s why socks are the #1 most requested clothing item in shelters.

homelessness, bombasSocks are a simple comfort not everyone has access to

When the founders of Bombas, Dave Heath and Randy Goldberg, discovered this problem, they decided to be part of the solution. Using a One Purchased = One Donated business model, Bombas helps provide not only durable, high-quality socks, but also t-shirts and underwear (the top three most requested clothing items in shelters) to those in need nationwide. These meticulously designed donation products include added features intended to offer comfort, quality, and dignity to those experiencing homelessness.

Over the years, Bombas' mission has grown into an enormous movement, with more than 75 million items donated to date and a focus on providing support and visibility to the organizations and people that empower these donations. These are the incredible individuals who are doing the hard work to support those experiencing —or at risk of—homelessness in their communities every day.

Folks like Shirley Raines, creator of Beauty 2 The Streetz. Every Saturday, Raines and her team help those experiencing homelessness on Skid Row in Los Angeles “feel human” with free makeovers, haircuts, food, gift bags and (thanks to Bombas) fresh socks. 500 pairs, every week.

beauty 2 the streetz, skid row laRaines is out there helping people feel their beautiful best

Or Director of Step Forward David Pinson in Cincinnati, Ohio, who offers Bombas donations to those trying to recover from addiction. Launched in 2009, the Step Forward program encourages participation in community walking/running events in order to build confidence and discipline—two major keys to successful rehabilitation. For each marathon, runners are outfitted with special shirts, shoes—and yes, socks—to help make their goals more achievable.

step forward, helping homelessness, homeless non profitsRunning helps instill a sense of confidence and discipline—two key components of successful recovery

Help even reaches the Front Street Clinic of Juneau, Alaska, where Casey Ploof, APRN, and David Norris, RN give out free healthcare to those experiencing homelessness. Because it rains nearly 200 days a year there, it can be very common for people to get trench foot—a very serious condition that, when left untreated, can require amputation. Casey and Dave can help treat trench foot, but without fresh, clean socks, the condition returns. Luckily, their supply is abundant thanks to Bombas. As Casey shared, “people will walk across town and then walk from the valley just to come here to get more socks.”

step forward clinic, step forward alaska, homelessness alaskaWelcome to wild, beautiful and wet Alaska!

The Bombas Impact Report provides details on Bombas’s mission and is full of similar inspiring stories that show how the biggest acts of kindness can come from even the smallest packages. Since its inception in 2013, the company has built a network of over 3,500 Giving Partners in all 50 states, including shelters, nonprofits and community organizations dedicated to supporting our neighbors who are experiencing- or at risk- of homelessness.

Their success has proven that, yes, a simple pair of socks can be a helping hand, an important conversation starter and a link to humanity.

You can also be a part of the solution. Learn more and find the complete Bombas Impact Report by clicking here.

popular

Woman left at the altar by her fiance decided to 'turn the day around’ and have a wedding anyway

'I didn’t want to remember the day as complete sadness.'

via Pixabay

The show must go on… and more power to her.

There are few things that feel more awful than being stranded at the altar by your spouse-to-be. That’s why people are cheering on Kayley Stead, 27, from the U.K. for turning a day of extreme disappointment into a party for her friends, family and most importantly, herself.

According to a report in The Metro, on Thursday, September 15, Stead woke up in an Airbnb with her bridemaids, having no idea that her fiance, Kallum Norton, 24, had run off early that morning. The word got to Stead’s bridesmaids at around 7 a.m. the day of the wedding.

“[A groomsman] called one of the maids of honor to explain that the groom had ‘gone.’ We were told he had left the caravan they were staying at in Oxwich Bay (the venue) at 12:30 a.m. to visit his family, who were staying in another caravan nearby and hadn’t returned. When they woke in the morning, he was not there and his car had gone,” Jordie Cullen wrote on a GoFundMe page.

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Education

How a 3,800-year-old stone tablet helped create modern legal systems

'Innocent until proven guilty' isn't that new of a concept.

Kind of looks like the Matrix code...

The modern justice system is certainly not without its flaws, however most can agree that the concept of “innocent until proven guilty” is one that (when not abused) stands as the foundation of what fair due process looks like. This principle, it turns out, isn’t so modern at all. It can actually be traced all the way back to nearly 3,800 years ago.

historyLady Justice, the image of impartial fairness. Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

English barrister Sir William Garrow is known for coining the "innocent until proven guilty" phrase between the 18th and 19th century, after insisting that evidence be provided by accusers and thoroughly tested in court. But this notion, as radical as it seemed at the time, can, in fact, be credited to an ancient Babylonian king who ruled Mesopotamia.

During his reign from 1792 to 1750 B.C., Hammurabi left behind a legacy of accomplishments as a ruler and a diplomat. His most influential contribution was a series of 282 laws and regulations that were painstakingly compiled after he sent legal experts throughout his kingdom to gather existing laws, then adapted or eliminated them in order to create a universal system.

Those laws were inscribed on a large, seven-foot stone monument, and they were known as the Code of Hammurabi.

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Pop Culture

TikTok star's surprising method for finding good Chinese food is blowing people's minds

Yelp can be a helpful tool for scoping out food joints, but maybe not in the way you think.

Photo by Debbie Tea on Unsplash

Different cultures view service differently.

Content creator Freddy Wong has a brilliantly easy way to find authentic Chinese food.

As he reveals in a mega viral video that’s racked up 9.4 million views on TikTok and 7.7 million views on Twitter, the trick (assuming you live in a major metropolitan area) is to “go on Yelp and look for restaurants with 3.5 stars, and exactly 3.5 stars." Not 3. Not 4. 3.5.

He then backs up his argument with some pretty undeniable photo evidence.

First, he pulls up an image of a Yelp page from P.F. Chang’s. With only 2.5 stars, one can tell the food is “obviously bad.” Alternatively, Din Tai Fung—a globally recognized Michelin-starred Chinese restaurant—has four stars.

Sounds good right? Wrong. In this case, “too many stars” means that “too many white people like it,” indicating that the restaurant is being judged on service rather than food quality. According to Wong, if “the service is too good, the food is not as good as it could be.”

He then pulls up the Yelp page for a couple of local Chinese restaurants, both of which have 3.5 stars. The waiters at these establishments might “not pay attention to you,” he admits, adding that they might even be “rude.” But, Wong attests, “it’s going to taste better.”

@rocketjump

Why I only go to Chinese restaurants with 3.5 star ratings

♬ original sound - RocketJump

"The dumplings here are better [than Din Tai Fung's]. I've been here," he says of the 3.5 star Shanghai Dumpling House. Considering his Twitter profile boasts a “James Beard Award winning KBBQ Gourmand'' title, it seems like he knows what he’s talking about.

So, why is this 3.5 rule the “sweet spot”? As Wong explains, it all comes down to different “cultural expectations.”

“In Asia, they’re not as proactive. They’re not going to come up to you, they’re not going to just proactively give you refills, you need to flag down the waiter,” he says, noting the different interpretations of service.

"People on Yelp are insufferable,” he continues, arguing that “they're dinging all these restaurants because the service is bad,” but the food is so good that it balances out the bad service. Hence, a 3.5-star rating. His reasoning is arguably sound—people do often give absurdly scathing reviews that in no way accurately reflect a restaurant’s food quality.

“A good Yelp review doesn’t mean it’s a good restaurant — it simply means the restaurant is good at doing things that won’t hurt their online rating,” Wong said in an interview with Today, adding that “highly rated Yelp restaurants are often those with counter service and limited menus, minimizing potential negative interaction with staff.”

He also added the caveat, “I don’t have anything against those places, but I think people who only eat at the ‘highest rated’ restaurants on online review sites are only eating at the most boring restaurants.”

A ton of people in the comments seem to back Wong’s theory.

best chinese food

100% accurate, some say

TikTok

Plus, the theory seems to not be limited to just Chinese restaurants, further implying that maybe there’s more of a cultural misunderstanding, rather than any real lack of quality.

thai food near me

No drink refills but the food is fire.

TikTok

yelp reviews, yelp

2.8 is the new 5

TikTok

One of the gifts that our modern world provides is the opportunity to truly experience and appreciate other cultures. Since food is easily one of the most accessible (and enjoyable) ways to do that, perhaps we should prioritize seeking authenticity, rather than rely on a flawed and superficial rating system.

As Wong told Today, “I hope it encourages people to go out and eat more food from not only Chinese restaurants, but restaurants representing the whole world of cultural cuisines.”