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Mom who wants her boys to pee sitting down makes pro-standing dad clean the bathrooms

"I said it was his idea for the boys to stand to pee, so he had to deal with the consequences."

bathroom etiquette for boys
Images via Unsplash

Parents argue over bathroom etiquette for boys

There’s a growing trend in some countries where more men are sitting to pee instead of standing up. This trend has caught on most prominently in Germany, where 62% of men now say they sit every time or most of the time.

The reasons for the change in public opinion in Germany are that it’s more hygienic for men to sit because there’s no splash back and it’s much easier to aim. In some places with communal living, standing to pee is greatly discouraged, and it’s now considered rude to stand to pee when visiting a friend’s house.

Things aren’t the same in the USA, where only 23% say they sit most of the time. The stand versus sit debate has caused a problem in a family, so a pro-sitting mom of three took to Reddit’s AITA forum to ensure she wasn’t in the wrong.


“After we potty trained our sons I kept making sure that they were sitting to pee. They are young and don't really care. They can use a urinal when we are out somewhere,” she wrote. “My brother-in-law was over last month and saw my oldest boy in the bathroom by accident. … Anyways my brother-in-law made a joke about my son not stinking up the bathroom. My son told him that he was just peeing. For some reason my BIL took offense at this and started bugging my husband about his sons sitting to pee.”

This is where things get interesting because, in many cultures, it’s seen as effeminate for men to sit and pee, which is probably a big reason why nearly 4 out of 5 men in America prefer to stand.

“My husband then started telling the boys that if they are only peeing that they should stand,” the mom continued. “They boys don't have great aim, but they make up for it with a short attention span. When I went in the bathroom after a few days of that it was gross. I turned around and walked out.”

The mother then told the dad that if the boys were going to stand to pee, then he could take responsibility for cleaning the “toilets, floors and walls” in the bathroom. “I said it was his idea for the boys to stand to pee, so he had to deal with the consequences,” the mom wrote. “He did it but he is upset about me unilaterally making this decision. Like he did about the boys.”

One can see the dad’s reasoning for having the boys stand to pee. Because if they sit to pee at school, they could deal with bullying from other boys. The mom’s position—that if they’re going to stand instead of sit, she’s not cleaning up the mess—also makes sense.

The commenters on the post overwhelmingly sided with the mother.

“I will never understand why it's socially acceptable for boys and grown-ass men to spray bathrooms like tom cats because they choose to stand to urinate. It's unnecessary and unsanitary. Either aim better, clean up after yourself, or sit," Consistent-Leopard71 wrote.

“All the people with penises can clean up after their penises,” Turkeygreen added.

The consensus among the commentators was that there’s nothing wrong with sitting to pee and it shouldn’t be seen as masculine or feminine. Many folks also thought that if you’re adamant about the kids doing something less hygienic, you should probably clean up after them.

All images provided by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

Collins after being selected by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

True

A changemaker is anyone who takes creative action to solve an ongoing problem—be it in one’s own community or throughout the world.

And when it comes to creating positive change, enthusiasm and a fresh perspective can hold just as much power as years of experience. That’s why, every year, Prudential Emerging Visionaries celebrates young people for their innovative solutions to financial and societal challenges in their communities.

This national program awards 25 young leaders (ages 14-18) up to $15,000 to devote to their passion projects. Additionally, winners receive a trip to Prudential’s headquarters in Newark, New Jersey, where they receive coaching, skills development, and networking opportunities with mentors to help take their innovative solutions to the next level.

For 18-year-old Sydnie Collins, one of the 2023 winners, this meant being able to take her podcast, “Perfect Timing,” to the next level.

Since 2020, the Maryland-based teen has provided a safe platform that promotes youth positivity by giving young people the space to celebrate their achievements and combat mental health stigmas. The idea came during the height of Covid-19, when Collins recalled social media “becoming a dark space flooded with news,” which greatly affected her own anxiety and depression.

Knowing that she couldn’t be the only one feeling this way, “Perfect Timing” seemed like a valuable way to give back to her community. Over the course of 109 episodes, Collins has interviewed a wide range of guests—from other young influencers to celebrities, from innovators to nonprofit leaders—all to remind Gen Z that “their dreams are tangible.”

That mission statement has since evolved beyond creating inspiring content and has expanded to hosting events and speaking publicly at summits and workshops. One of Collins’ favorite moments so far has been raising $7,000 to take 200 underserved girls to see “The Little Mermaid” on its opening weekend, to “let them know they are enough” and that there’s an “older sister” in their corner.

Of course, as with most new projects, funding for “Perfect Timing” has come entirely out of Collins’ pocket. Thankfully, the funding she earned from being selected as a Prudential Emerging Visionary is going toward upgraded recording equipment, the support of expert producers, and skill-building classes to help her become a better host and public speaker. She’ll even be able to lease an office space that allows for a live audience.

Plus, after meeting with the 24 other Prudential Emerging Visionaries and her Prudential employee coach, who is helping her develop specific action steps to connect with her target audience, Collins has more confidence in a “grander path” for her work.

“I learned that my network could extend to multiple spaces beyond my realm of podcasting and journalism when industry leaders are willing to share their expertise, time, and financial support,” she told Upworthy. “It only takes one person to change, and two people to expand that change.”

Prudential Emerging Visionaries is currently seeking applicants for 2024. Winners may receive up to $15,000 in awards and an all-expenses-paid trip to Prudential’s headquarters with a parent or guardian, as well as ongoing coaching and skills development to grow their projects.

If you or someone you know between the ages of 14 -18 not only displays a bold vision for the future but is taking action to bring that vision to life, click here to learn more. Applications are due by Nov. 2, 2023.
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