Teacher says it makes kids 'entitled' to let them go to the restroom whenever they like
"Some parents really are setting their kids up for failure."

A child raises her hand in a bathroom.
A teacher on TikTok has created a debate over whether itβs appropriate to let elementary-age kids go to the restroom whenever they say they have to go. Jade Barrow, an elementary school-age substitute teacher in London, says she uses βdiscernmentβ when deciding whether a child can go to the bathroom and has no problem making them wait.
Barrow made the video to push back against parents who say their children should be able to go to the bathroom whenever they like. βIf you want your child to receive special treatment, mainstream state school probably isnβt the place to be sending them,β Barrow captioned the video. βSome parents really are setting their kids up for failure in real life with all this pampering and entitlement.β
βToday, I had about four examples of a time where I did not let the children go to the toilet,β Barrow said in her video. βSo I just want to give you a bit of insight into our world so you can make a better judgment when you say, βWell, my child is allowed to go to the toilet whenever they want.ββ
@homelearninghaven If you want your child to receieve special treatment, mainstream state school probably isnβt the place to be sending them π© some parents really are setting their kids up for failure in real life with all this pampering and entitlement π
βToday, we had an activity where, for three minutes, you listen to your partner read and then you swap over because youβre going to give them feedback on how they read ... I start the timer β one kid starts reading. The partner comes up to me and is like, βMs., can I go to the toilet?β But right now, youβre supposed to be listening to your partner read for three minutes,β she continued.
Barrow said it wasnβt fair for the child to take a bathroom break while working on an assignment with another student.
She added that itβs inappropriate for a child to ask to go while she is giving instructions. βNo, because if you now go to the toilet, when you come back, Iβm going to have to explain the activity again to you.β She also believes they should wait once recess has ended and the kids have returned to class. βYou literally just had playtime ... youβre going to have to hold onto it for a minute,β she said.
The teacher clarified that sheβd only make a child hold their bladder for a few minutes. βAt max, itβll be like, four minutes,β Barrow said. βIf I can see that theyβre really ... desperate, then fair enough, Iβll let them go.β
The video didnβt sit well with many parents on TikTok who think their children should never be denied access to the bathroom. βI've told my daughter, if she needs to use the toilet, just ask to be excused once, if the teacher says no - walk out,β Zeduk wrote. βIf you need the toilet, that's all you will concentrate on.. so the child won't actually be taking in the information and it's likely it will need repeating anyway?β SunshineLvoes assed.
A teacher said she takes the opposite approach, which works fine for her. βIβm a primary school teacher. Children in my class use the toilet as and when they need to go. Itβs their right. If I have to catch a child up, I do. Iβve never had an issueβthey love the freedom,β BubblesWHU wrote.
Some commenters thought Barrow was right to expect children to wait until an appropriate time to leave the classroom.
βShe is explaining that itβs only 4 mins max, letβs be honest, most times 4 mins is fine. My son tells me he needs the toilet when weβre on our way home, literally a few mins away, heβs fine,β Caits wrote. βOutside of education, children also have to wait to use the [bathroom]. Are these parents seriously saying they've never had to walk 5 minutes through a shopping center, or walking home, or in the car,β Helen added.
Ultimately, the debate is about balancing a childβs immediate needs with healthy classroom management. The key is for Barrow and other teachers to let their students know when they can go to the bathroom and when theyβll need to wait a few minutes. That way, the students can be conscious of their needs and develop a good habit of planning to use the restroom before itβs too late.
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