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Millennials nearing 40 are sharing their biggest mistakes so everyone can learn from them

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses.

millennials, regrets, millennial life lessons
via Pexels

Millennials are now old enough to seriously reflect on life.

It seems like only yesterday a millennial was a college kid that baby boomers chided for being entitled and Gen Xers thought were way too sincere and needed to learn how to take a joke. Today, the oldest millennials, those born around 1980, have hit their 40s and have lived long enough to have some serious regrets.

They also have enough experience to take some pride in decisions that, in hindsight, were the right moves. The good news is that at 40 there is still plenty of time to learn from our successes and failures to set ourselves up for a great second half of life. These lessons are also valuable to the Gen Zers coming up who can avoid the pitfalls of the older generation.

A Reddit user who has since deleted their profile asked millennials nearing 40 “what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?” and they received more than 2,200 responses. The biggest regrets these millennials have are being flippant about their health and not saving enough money when they were younger.

They also realized that the carefree days of youth are fleeting and impossible to get back. So they should have spent less time working and more time enjoying themselves. Many also lamented that they should have taken their education more seriously in their 20s so they have more opportunities now.

The responses to this thread are bittersweet. It's tough hearing people come to grips with their regrets but the realizations are also opportunities to grow. Hopefully, some younger people will read this thread and take the advice to heart.

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses to the question: “Millennials of Reddit now nearing your 40s, what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?”

1.

"Not taking care of my hearing, not even 35 and going deaf." — Kusanagi8811

2.

"Not getting healthy earlier." — zombiearchivist

3.

"Staying too long at a job in my 20s, just because it was safe and easy. When I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up with an almost 50% pay boost." — Hrekires

4. 

"Thinking that I could and should put myself on the back burner for anything and anyone else." — lenalilly227

5.

"Smoking and not dealing with my shit the right way." — Allenrw3

6.

"Pining after the wrong person." — runikepisteme

7.

"I turned 40 this year and just started liking who I am. Why the fuck did it take 40 years for self acceptance?" — guscallee

8.


"Take care of your fucking back. Lift with your knees. Sure it's rad when you grab a fridge by yourself and lift it in the back of a moving truck unaided, but one day that shit is going to have consequences that won't just magically go away by resting and "taking it easy" for a week." — GuyTallman

9.

"I wish I spent more time with my dad while I had the chance." — CharlieChooper

10.

"I'm 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body, but I'm in relatively good health. I'm starting to realize how important it is to maintain my health. I do also think I drank far too much in my 20 and early 30's. I'm trying to rectify that now, but it's hard. So that I guess." — dartastic

11.


"I'm not sure if people have experienced the same but when I entered my 30s I became convinced I was rapidly running out of time. Rather than using that as motivation I let it paralyze me with indecision because I "couldn't afford to make the wrong choice." Consequently, I'm now 39 and, though I've had great things happen in my 30s, I regret spending so much time worrying and so little time committing to a course of action." — tomwaste

12.

"Work to live, don’t live to work. You have half your working life after you turn 40 but only 20-25 years to really live it up before the responsibilities become heavy and your joints start to ache. Live life. Really LIVE it. Experience as much you can. Every sensation, sight, sound, touch. Be open. Be brave. Live your first few decades in the fast lane. You have the rest of your life to take it easy, when you have no choice." — MrDundee666

13.

"I should have paid more attention to my parents telling me to save money and less attention when they were teaching me about purity culture." — Arkie_MTB

14.

"If I could tell my 18 year old self one thing, it would be to save 10% of every paycheck I ever got." — PutAForkInHim

15.

"Thinking that I have time to do everything I want only to find myself loosing time, and the endless energy I used to have in order to purse them." — ezZiioFTW

16.

"Not wearing sunscreen." — blueboxreddress

17.

"Not recognizing the importance of work/life balance earlier in life. My late teens, all 20's, and early 30's were spent pulling 60-100+hr weeks because I thought it was what was required to succeed. How wrong I was. Others stabbed me in the back and reaped the reward.

1.) Putting work first for too long. Work is my #1 priority during work hours now. After quitting time, I don't think about it (much) anymore. I don't vent to my wife or friends about it anymore either.

2.) Investing more into fast cars than solid long-term investments. Sure, it was fun, but I could have made bookoos more had I put that towards less-fun investments.

3.) Not using PTO and just waiting for the payout. All those years, missed. I'm in my mid 30's and I didn't actually have a real vacation until 3 years ago.

4.) Not realizing that "the good guy" often loses. Just because you're morally justified doesn't mean you're going to win. Just because there's a number to call doesn't mean anyone will actually help you. Just because "law" exists, doesn't mean people follow it, enforce it, or create justice. The world is dog eat dog and cynicism can be healthy in moderate doses." — [Deleted]

18.

"When you get out of college, keep your friends. No matter how hard it is. Hold on to them." — mpssss22

19.

"I imagine these are kinda universal:

  • Not getting fit and healthy
  • Assuming I'd be offered proper guidance on how to achieve my goals
  • Assuming higher education would help me achieve my goals
  • Spending far too long caring what people think
  • Not taking risks that might better my life when I was younger and had nothing to lose
  • Staying in relationships too long after they were clearly done." — katapultperson

20.

"Always ask for more pay. Starting, yearly, before leaving, whatever. Get that money." — SensibleReply

21.

"Spending too much time in front of a screen and not enough enjoying life." — BellaPadella


This article originally appeared two years ago.

dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome
Umi4ika/Youtube

Svetlana Putintseva with her daughter Masha.

In 2005 at only 18 years old, Russian rhythmic gymnast Svetlana Putintseva became a world champion, after which she retired and eventually became a mom. Then, in 2011, Putintseva came out of retirement for one special Gala performance.

Little did anyone know that her then two-year-old daughter named Masha would be the key to making that performance so special.


As the story goes, the young child refused to leave her side that night. But rather than stopping the performance, Putintseva did what so many incredible moms do: she masterfully held space for two different identities.

As we see in the video below, Putintseva simply brought Masha onto the dance floor and incorporated her into the routine—holding and comforting her at times, performing impressive moves while she ran around at others…letting it all become a lively, endearing interaction rather than a rote routine. It became something really touching:

Watch:

Now, a bit of fact-checking as this video has once again started going viral. Despite what many captions say, Putintseva‘s daughter was likely always a planned part of the performance (the tiny leotard is a bit of a giveaway). But that doesn’t really take away from the message behind it: motherhood weaves another soul into one's identity, forever. And one of the biggest lessons it teaches is how to hold someone else steady, all while becoming ourselves.

Every day, moms are engaging in a similar type of “dance”: navigating through the world while guiding and nurturing their little ones. It probably doesn't always feel quite as graceful as what Putintseva put out, and, yet, it is just as beautiful.

dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome A mother hugging her daughter.Photo credit: Canva

Maybe so many thought it was an improvised moment because improvising is a very real parent superpower. That’s certainly the takeaway we get from some of these lovely comments:

“You cannot control life but you can learn to dance with it. 🤍”

"This is beyond beautiful. 🥲"

“If this isn't a metaphor for motherhood. We improvise so much.”

“A mother’s unconditional love 🥹❤️ She just made my whole month.”

“I do this sometimes while deejaying. My daughter comes up so I hit the slicer and let her chop it up. A few chops and she is happy and goes about her business. 🥰”

“I can see my daughter doing this to me soon whenever I get up on stage on perform. She already stares long and hard at me whenever I am onnstage singing. She doesn't take her eyes off me. Sure she would be running up to stand with me when she starts walking 😂😂 i look forward to it tho”

“Sobbing 😭😭😭😭 As a dancer who hasn’t performed since having a kid, this inspires me in so many ways 🥹🥹 So beautiful and it’s clear that she admires her mom so much 🥰”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Though not much is written on Putintseva following this performance, one blog post says that Masha has followed in her footsteps by getting into rhythmic gymnastics. Maybe it all started with this one performance. ❤️

Pets

Elderly rescue dog can't stop putting random items in his bed, keeping his family entertained

"He has stolen a lamp, framed poster art, a cooler. He took a teapot."

rescue dog; elderly dog; dog that steals; resource guarding; dog ptsd

A dog lies in a bed.

Not all dogs are created equal. Some don't get the best start in life and end up in situations where they need rescuing. That was the case for an elderly golden retriever named Duke, who had been returned to a rescue so many times that he was nearly labeled unadoptable. His "bad dog" reputation wasn't due to aggression or destructive behavior. Instead, some might say Duke simply has sticky paws.

The golden retriever is something of a canine kleptomaniac, constantly stealing objects from around the house only to put them in his dog bed. He's not eating them, burying them, or even playing with them. Duke is a collector of sorts, a trait his previous owners couldn't get used to. But his current owner, Cathy Hoyt, understands the pup's strange behavior and rolls with it.


rescue dog; elderly dog; dog that steals; resource guarding; dog ptsd A lazy afternoon nap on the couch.Photo credit: Canva

According to Hoyt, the sweet rescue originally came from a home with domestic violence, which likely left Duke with lasting trauma. Dogs, like humans, can be affected by trauma in ways that surface through behaviors others may find confusing. While some dogs become skittish, aggressive, or have accidents when they are nervous, others engage in resource guarding, as Duke does. Although resource guarding typically involves food, the behavior this elderly golden retriever displays is still classified as such.

Duke doesn't steal sandwiches or other edible items. Instead, the pooch absconds with household objects that make little logical sense for a dog to want.

"Duke has very severe resource guarding," Hoyt tells GeoBeats. "Most dogs have it with food, but Duke does not have it with food. He has it with the items he steals. Household items."

rescue dog; elderly dog; dog that steals; resource guarding; dog ptsd A happy golden retriever relaxing indoors. 🐕❤️Photo credit: Canva

In clips shown in a video by GeoBeats, Duke can be seen trotting away with his dad's pants before the footage cuts to him carrying something else. Hoyt explains:

"He steals electronics, my Kindle, my phone, laptops. He has stolen a lamp, framed poster art, a cooler. He took a teapot. He took creamer, a sugar bowl. Just the oddest items. He just places them on his bed. He guards them. We've spoken to professionals about this, but because of his age, it's very difficult to reverse."

There isn't much Duke's new parents can do to reverse a behavior that has likely been with him for most of his life. Thankfully, the Hoyts understand his condition and meet him with patience. They don't punish him for snagging things that aren't his, nor do they try to force him to give the items up. Instead, Hoyt says they simply wait until Duke is ready to allow them to retrieve the item from his bed.

"So we give him space. He will just have them around him, especially the household items. He just takes such comfort in them. It's really remarkable," Hoyt shares.

Hoyt says that while some people have suggested Duke's item collecting could be a sign of canine dementia, she insists his behavior is intentional. Duke isn't confused. Hoyt believes that after leaving behind so many people and belongings throughout his life, he has developed what she calls a "hoarding personality." By collecting items around the house, even ones that make no sense to anyone else, Duke creates a sense of safety and security for himself.

"We'll never really know, but he's happy doing it, so we let him do it," Hoyt exclaims.

People who've watched the video can't get enough of Duke's bizarrely sweet behavior.

One person gushes, "Poor Duke. Sweet boy. He's an emotional hoarder. Poor guy. I'm so grateful he's found acceptance and safety with you. Thank you for not allowing him to be abandoned once again!"

rescue dog; elderly dog; dog that steals; resource guarding; dog ptsd Gentle comfort for a sleepy golden retriever.Photo credit: Canva

Someone else shares, "He is seeking stability. These things represent you and he's trying to keep you. Poor old fella. So happy you are kind. Let him have this. Very loving."

One woman points out Hoyt's calming voice, writing, "I've seen a few videos of this dog. I love how mom speaks to him with such a kind, soft voice all the time even when he's taking something she really doesn't want him to have. Her tone of voice never communicates anger…perhaps bewilderment at times but never anger. Great mom!"

90s smells, scents of the 90s, bath and body works 90s, cucumber melon, runts, runts candy
Images via Reddit/Dove04

Gen Xers and Millennials describe what the '90s smelled like, from Bath & Body Works' Cucumber Melon to banana-flavored Runts.

The '90s were a decade like no other. With TV psychics, parachutes in gym class, and iconic TV shows binged during sick days, the era was packed with uniquely memorable moments that Generation X and Millennials still feel nostalgic about today.

Beyond the epic CDs and cartoons, the '90s were also defined by specific scents. Gen Xers and Millennials on Reddit recently discussed the nostalgic smells of the decade—from specific foods like banana-flavored Runts to the distinct scent of roller-rink carpet and classic Bath & Body Works fragrances. Here's what they had to say:


@jennaabarclay

‘90s bath & body works scents WITH the ‘90s label 🥹 the nostalgia hit so hard and I’m so happy #90s #bathandbodyworks

"Cigarettes and this [roller rink] carpet….Ahhhhh memories." - Battlerapschef

"And teen spirit." - UbermachoGuy

"5 year old Runts in the quarter vending machine. Banana." - 9829eisB09E83C

"Cucumber Melon and Camel Lights." - Heatherjjjjjjjj

"This nasty [Glad Country Garden] potpourri spray. I can hear the very specific sound that spray made with its thick *ss pressed button. CHSHHHHH." - abby-rose, Constant-Net-4652, D4FF00

"[Victoria's Secret] Love Spell." - a_solid_6

" McDonald's happy meal toys had a certain smell that I can remember to this day. Probably poison." - ogmoss

"CK one everywhere." - snn1326j

"Clove cigarettes and espresso. Especially for goths." - Lost_Balloon_, Vesper2000

"Let's not forget Drakkar Noir." - Technical-Donut-7354

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"LA Looks hair gel." - FarAd1429

"Electronics. The smell of cathode ray monitors and TVs, Blockbuster VHS tape boxes, the inside of Nintendo cartridges when you blew the dust out, etc." - oceanicwhitetip

"Fresh vinyl from blowup furniture." - Asterclad

"Herbal Essence." - barcham22

"The 90's had a number of unique smells. Especially if you were a kid. Lots of toys had these weird off gassing smells, like the creepy crawlers set. Sort of a sweet plastic smell. We also had the blessing of grandparents old Christmas decorations that smelled different from the stuff manufactured overseas today. The things our grandparents stored were probably slightly toxic but had a very, very nostalgic energy to them. You could almost smell the past." - TrillDough

"Like dew evaporating off the pavement." - zekerthedog

"Nautica, Cool Water, Hugo Boss, Curve and Polo Sport." - GurrenLagann214

"Apple shampoo, mall food courts, and movie theater popcorn." - thatmattschultz

@tara_town

The smells of our childhood 🥰 #90s #2000s #millennial #nostalgia

"Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers or Gap Grass." - Apprehensive-Stay196

"The smell from traffic…inescapable. Before catalytic converters were regulated you could smell transportation on you. Go stand in a busy covered parking garage and you will get a hint of what the cities smelled like." - h1storyguy

"LEMON PLEDGE!!!!!" - BlackDynamite58990

"I remember many girls almost choking us with their vanilla perfume. God it was sickening." - fettoter84

"Little incense candles inside incense warmers. Bong hits filtered thru a shampoo bottle stuffed with dryer sheets. Ralph Lauren Polo. JOOP! Any cologne/perfume sample from a magazine. Marlboro Lights. Empty Busch Light cans. And the sweet sweet smell of slacking..." - Live_Past_8978

"The inside spine of a plastic VHS tape cover." - canoe4you

"Wet JNCO's and wet barefoot sandals with a mix of Polo or Pear Berry Splash and cigarette smoke." - xxMalVeauXxx

"Fruitopia." - No_Tart686

"Go into a old school bowling alley and that's exactly what 90's smelled like." - ItsBal707

"And Extra chewing gum." - Ill-Emu-1121

"Sbarro pizza in a mall. That weird smell of water from a hose in the heat. Sunblock. The smell of a new Gameboy game." - Eris_Balm

Joy

New study reveals dogs are smarter than originally thought, anticipating unsaid commands

"They are really tuned in to our communication and are prepared to look to us for information."

dogs; smart dogs; Duke study; dogs read minds; puppies; puppies vs wolf pups

A dog and their owner in a sunny field.

Most dog owners think their dog is the best, smartest dog to ever walk the planet. Of course, they're all correct because it's obviously a tie between every dog that has ever existed. But a new study from Duke's Canine Cognition Lab confirms that dogs are actually a lot smarter than humans initially gave them credit for.

The study spanned five years as PhD student, Hannah Salomons and the rest of the Duke team partnered with a national service dog organization, Canine Companions. They were joined by other organizations to assess the cognitive abilities of puppies from eight weeks to 20 weeks of age. The puppies were tested every two weeks until they hit the age threshold of 20 weeks.


All 100 puppies involved in the study were golden retrievers and golden retriever mixes. The team of scientists set out to discover how dog intelligence was developed. They wanted to know whether abilities were developed in different chunks or if they developed together as general intelligence. The results were fascinating to the team. Salomons tells Duke Today, “There hasn't really been a study of this size at this fine scale of detail done on puppy cognitive development before. It was a big undertaking."

dogs; smart dogs; Duke study; dogs read minds; puppies; puppies vs wolf pups Training time: Puppies learning tricks with their trainer.Photo credit: Canva

What they found is that dogs have an ability to "read minds"—or anticipate what a command will be. This cooperative communication skill develops remarkably early, much earlier than anticipated by those completing the study. Duke Today writes, "Skills such as understanding simple human gestures emerged early, alongside basic skills like working memory." Turns out that this communication skill is unique to dog puppies. Salomons explains to the school's digital outlet that wolf puppies do not display this level of understanding of cooperative communication with humans at such a young age.

"Molly is exceptionally intelligent. She picks up on everything, and she doesn't forget," Jamie Tan tells WBZ News Boston, an affiliate of CBS, about her one-year-old rescue dog. "She's very emotionally intelligent."

In the news segment, they show how the puppies participated in the study, explaining that the dogs had to find treats with only non-verbal cues.

One puppy fell asleep on the job, still inside the clear tube with a treat right in front of his nose. Being a puppy is hard work, especially when they are essentially expected to read minds to find a piece of kibble.

Salomons explains to WBZ News Boston, "They are really tuned in to our communication, and they are prepared to look to us for information. We tested how they look to humans and make eye contact to maybe make a connection or ask for help."

dogs; smart dogs; Duke study; dogs read minds; puppies; puppies vs wolf pups Man and dog share a joyful moment in the park.Photo credit: Canva

According to the scientists who conducted the study, there's no need to do anything extra to apply this new information. The puppies in the study that were exposed to hundreds of students and staff on any given day at Duke University displayed the same level of socialization skills as a puppy raised within a family unit.

"You're enough for your dog, and giving them a nice, loving home is going to help them develop really well, and [that] your dog is looking to you for information," Salomons shares with the news outlet.

haggis, beans, bacon, english food, scottish food, mushrooms

A plate of tasty food from the United Kingdom.

In the 1993 cult comedy So I Married an Axe Murderer, actor Mike Myers takes a big shot at Scottish cuisine: "My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare." Obviously, that's an exaggeration. There are many wonderful Scottish treats that Americans love.

Every time you eat a tasty, buttery shortbread cookie, you can thank Scotland. The roast beef and gravy meal many people savor on Sunday nights also traces its roots to Scottish culinary tradition, as does oatmeal, once a humble peasant food that has since become a wellness staple.


What is haggis?

However, Myers may be onto something when it comes to haggis, a traditional Scottish dish made from lamb lung, sheep's heart, liver, suet, minced onion, stock, and spices. While Americans enjoy lamb from time to time, the heart and lungs tend to fall outside our culinary comfort zone. And to take things up a notch, the dish is traditionally cooked inside a sheep's stomach. Talk about using the entire animal.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Americans who have tasted it have compared it favorably to meatloaf and less favorably to "creamy oatmeal and meatloaf."

Why is haggis banned in the U.S.?

To take the dare analogy a step further, in 1971 the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) banned haggis from being imported into the U.S. because it is illegal to eat sheep lung, or the lungs of any livestock. During slaughter, fluids from other parts of the body, including stomach contents, can collect in the lungs, creating a potentially toxic environment. Additionally, livestock lungs tend to contain higher levels of environmental toxins and microorganisms than other organs.

haggis, big haggis, sheep stomach, cooked haggis, scottish food A large haggis.via Mr. F/Flickr

As if the 1971 ban weren't enough, in 1989 the USDA banned the import of United Kingdom sheep meat due to concerns about a neurodegenerative disease in livestock.

The haggis ban must be especially hard for people of Scottish heritage on Burns Night, which takes place every year on January 25. Haggis is the evening's official dish, as it was a favorite of the poet Robert Burns, who is celebrated that night. He even penned an ode to the dish in "Address to a Haggis." Here's an excerpt:

Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,

And dish them out their bill o' fare,

Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware

That jaups in luggies;

But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,

Gie her a Haggis!


haggis, sheep stomach, cooked haggis, scottish food, haggis and gravy A plate of haggis and gravy.via Umami/Flickr

Is haggis ready for a comeback?

For Americans hoping to enjoy haggis on Burns Night in 2027, there's a chance the delicacy could finally be on the menu. In 2021, then-President Joe Biden struck a deal with then–U.K. Prime Minister Boris Johnson that reopened the door for sheep meat imports to the U.S. Meanwhile, Scotland's largest haggis producer, Macsween of Edinburgh, has been working on a U.S.-friendly version of haggis that includes everything except the lamb lung.

Whether you're brave enough to chow down on haggis or prefer to stick with shortbread cookies, the dish serves as a reminder of a time when people used every part of the animal to sustain themselves and their families. But its ban raises one lingering question. If haggis is considered too dangerous to import into the U.S., why hasn't it posed any real danger to the people of Scotland?