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Identity

Man's eye-opening story about taking 'a black walk' in a white neighborhood goes viral

"There is an art to making white people feel safe."

Black man walking outside
Photo by Vonecia Carswell on Unsplash

For Black people, something as simple as taking a walk isn't so simple.

Though we're all part of the same species living on the same planet, our experience as humans walking through this world can differ widely. Children see things through a different lens than adults. Women and men have different perspectives on certain issues. And because racism has long been an active element in our society, people with varying amounts of melanin in their skin face specific challenges that others don't.

As a white American, I don't instinctively know what it's like to walk in a Black person's shoes. I can tell you about the legacy of white supremacy laced throughout our country's history. I can explain the far-reaching effects of slavery, lynch mobs, Jim Crow laws, redlining, mass incarceration, and more. I can intellectually break down the psychological and sociological impact of centuries of race-based oppression.

But I can't tell you what it feels like to walk through this world, right now, as a Black person—which is why it's so important to listen to the voices of people who can.

David Summers shared a story on Facebook that reflects the experience of many Black Americans—one that can help us non-Black folks see through a lens we simply do not and cannot have. Perhaps that's why it's been shared more than 20,000 times. From the fear that any object he carries might be mistaken as a gun to figuring out how to smile at a stranger just right so he won't be considered a threat, the "black thoughts" Summers describes during his walk through a beautiful, white neighborhood—presumably a neighborhood most of us would consider "safe"—are heartbreaking.

He wrote:

"I took a black walk this morning. I took a black walk through a white neighborhood. When I take black walks, I think black thoughts. I am conscious of where I've placed my gun, my gun, and my gun. I mean, my phone, my wallet, and my keys. Because Peace Officers have a hard time telling the difference. I rehearse what I'll say if a concerned resident, or a law enforcement employee has questions about why my black body is walking through their white space. And I remind myself to make sure the law enforcement employee has his body camera recording. Sometimes it helps if there is video evidence to accompany the hashtag.

There is no way to be stealthy when you take a black walk. White neighborhoods are blanketed by a sophisticated security system comprised of nosy neighbors, Ring doorbell cameras, and white women walking their dogs. So, I've learned to notice the white world through my periphery. To be aware of the dangers without acknowledging them. There is an art to making white people feel safe. To say 'Good Morning' and flash a smile that shows confidence and deference at the same time. To being polite because your life depends on it.

I felt the squad car behind me before I saw it.

It moved deliberately. Not like the other cars mindlessly whizzing past. Its tires inched. Crept. Stalked their way toward me.

I kept walking.

"Don't take your hands out of your pockets," I thought. Or wait, maybe I should? Maybe it's better if my hands are clearly empty. But it's cold outside…maybe it's nothing. Keep walking.

The car rolled past me and made a slow right turn. I glanced quickly but didn't stare. The air is still. My ears tuned out everything but the slight scuff of my sneakers on the sidewalk and the fading sound of those stalking tires.

Almost there.

Suddenly the squad car re-emerged. It was a block ahead of me. It made a quick right turn, continued to the end of the street, and then waited. No more stalking. This was a show of force. This was a roar. This was a reminder that I was trespassing.

I kept walking.

As I approached the corner, the front window began to roll down. The occupant didn't speak. Didn't smile. Just stared. I was being warned.

I crossed the street and the lion trotted off. He had effectively marked his territory. The brave protector had done his job.

I however, couldn't help but wonder what I'd missed during my black walk. It's hard to hear the birds chirping, or to smile at the squirrels playfully darting along the branches when you're on a black walk. It's easy to miss the promise of a light blue sky, or appreciate the audacity of the red, yellow, and purple daisies declaring their independence from the green grass when your mind is preoccupied with black thoughts.

I took a walk through a beautiful neighborhood this morning. But I missed the whole thing."

Thank you, Mr. Summers, for sharing your "black walk" experience. Hopefully, it will prompt us all to ask ourselves whether our words and actions serve to reinforce or remedy what you've described.


This article originally appeared five years ago.

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racism
Democracy

Millennial says boomers have it backward when they talk about wasting money on 'luxuries'

Things couldn't have been more different.

via Canva

A young couple can't handle high prices and their dad says to save money.

One of the big talking points in the great American millennials versus baby boomers debate is whether the younger generation has knee-capped itself by its lavish spending habits that have prevented them from owning homes. If millennials stopped buying $14 avocado toast and $1,000 iPhones, would they be able to save enough for a down payment on a modest home?

Freddie Smith, 36, of Orlando, Florida, recently went viral on TikTok for a video in which he challenged the boomer argument with statistics from the Bureau of Labor, Federal Reserve, and the U.S. Census Bureau. Smith believes that the older generations misunderstand millennial finances because their concept of luxury is based on 1980s economics. Smith says that for baby boomers, essentials such as rent and child care were much more affordable, but items considered luxuries (TVs, CD players, computers) were much more expensive.

How is the economy different for millennials than it was for baby boomers?

"The main shift is that core essentials—housing, education, healthcare, and even food—have become more expensive," Smith said. "Housing and rent, for instance, now outpace wage growth, making homeownership feel unattainable for many. The cost of childcare has also skyrocketed, and food prices have increased.”

"As a result, I think older generations have a different perspective on luxury versus necessity,” Smith continued. “They grew up in a time when hard work typically led to financial stability, whereas today, even with hard work, many people struggle with the high costs of housing, rent and medical expenses. Basic survival used to be far more affordable, allowing people more financial room to build a stable life."

Smith’s numbers don’t lie. For a person in the '80s to own three TVs, a CD player, a cellphone, a microwave, and a computer, it would cost them 3.5 years of rent or a 20% downpayment on the average home. So, it was irresponsible for someone in that period to purchase all of what was known then as luxuries. However, these days, for a Millennial to have the average apartment and the equivalent amount of "luxuries" would only cost a little over one month's rent.

1980s, boomers, millennialsA 1980s computer and television. via Canva

"But if you skip that daily $6 Starbucks drink, you’ll have enough for the downpayment in 29.22 years," Yokahana joked in the comments. "I hate that housing and transportation have become luxuries," Molly added. "Imagine spending 3x your rent on a microwave," Donutdisaster wrote.

Why are luxury goods more affordable now than they were in the '80s?

The price of manufactured goods has steadily fallen over the last few decades due to technological improvements and trade policies that have allowed the U.S. to import goods from places where labor costs are cheaper. "International, global competition lowers prices directly from lower-cost imported goods, and indirectly by forcing U.S. manufacturers to behave more competitively, with lower prices, higher quality, better service, et cetera," Sociologist Joseph Cohen of Queens University said, according to Providence Journal.

Why are housing prices so high?

Housing prices in the US have soared due to the low inventory caused by the Great Recession, mortgage rates, and zoning laws that make building more challenging. Rents have increased considerably since the pandemic due to low inventory, inflation, barriers to home ownership, and the fact that more people want to live alone than with a roommate or romantic partner.

Smith’s breakdown of the economic changes over the past two generations makes a strong case for the idea that millennial financial troubles have more to do with systemic problems than spending habits. The boomers got a bad deal regarding luxury items, and the millennials with necessities. Wouldn’t living in a world where both were affordable in the same era be great?

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millennials
Women's Health

Medical student shares how ‘absolutely wild’ her first c-section was to help empower moms

“Nothing could ever prepare you for absolutely how insane the entire thing is.”

@henneliehawes/TikTok

It’s well known how common it is for mothers who end up having a cesarean delivery to feel negative emotions, like guilt, disappointment, and even have symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Beyond the physical shock, many women share similar feelings of missing out on the important aspects of childbirth—from having their partner in the operating room to cradling their newborn in their arms immediately after bringing them into the world.

And that’s why videos like the ones posted by Hennelie Hawes, a medical student who recently shared her first experience of seeing a c-section for the first time, are so important. It offers a different perspective that might help women who’ve been through one to remember how badass they really are.

As Hawes shared in a TikTok video, c-sections are considered a specialized field that’s hard to match into, plus she had been told the first time seeing one would feel "absolutely wild.” All this to say—she was very"excited" and had high hopes she might even get to assist with the delivery.

Cut to after her first day, and judging by the look on her face, Hawes got everything she wished for.


@henneliehawes OBGYN is wildddd in the best way #obgyn #clinicalrotations #medstudentlife #csection #medtok #crazyexperience ♬ original sound - hennelie | MS3

“Literally my first day on OB-Gyn and I just got thrown into a surgery right away. I had heard that c-sections are a wild experience, but nothing could ever prepare you for absolutely how insane the entire thing is,” she recalled. “I was shocked. Jaw was on the ground the entire time. And then to see a living human emerge from the abdomen?! WHAT?! Literally what?! That is crazy! And the patient is awake. The mom is awake the entire time! It has got to be one of the craziest surgeries to ever witness.”

“Safe to say I had an amazing first day,” she concluded, still visibly in awe. “And I think it will be a really, really good rotation.”

Hawes’ utter enthusiasm was certainly contagious, as her video quickly went viral and inspired so many viewers—particularly other medical professionals—to share how they too marvel at those who have undergone c-sections.

“There’s not enough respect for what the woman goes through,” one person wrote. Meanwhile, another said, "When I rotated as a PA student I was also SHOOK seeing my first c-section! Mom and dad are just chillin on the other side unaware that they are literally ripping her abdomen open.”

Photo credit: Canva

Still another told Hawes, “OBGYN attending here. I still remember the first CS I saw as a medical student. I had the same reaction as you!"

And of course, several moms entered the chat to talk about their own experiences. Quite a few recounted leaving a med student with their jaw on the floor as well.

“I was someone’s very first delivery and I think she cried as much as I did. I’ve had 4 children and personally having students is a fun addition to the experience.”

“Believe me, being AWAKE while they hack into you and then your hear a whole human but everyone sees it first…that’s wild.”

“My recent birth — my third — I had a nurse who just finished school and was training. She was so nervous! I was like ‘girl do what you gotta do take your time.’ She literally said ‘thanks for being nice to me.’”

“I had a c-section personally before I saw one (and have been in hundreds since) and I am so thankful for our OBs and also that I didn’t see it first.”

While c-section are likely to stir up some conflicting emotions no matter what, hopefully hearing other folks share their amazement can help mothers quiet down some of the more negative thoughts going on. At the end of the day, women are metal as hell for being able to bring life into the world, no matter how they do it.

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Pop Culture

Mom leaves a 'heartbreaking' gift to flight passengers sitting next to her baby

"That's a mom trying so hard."

@callmebelly/TikTok

An excellent reminder to show kindness and patience.

Listening to a baby cry during a flight might be aggravating, but it’s nothing compared to the moans, groans, and eyerolls that the baby's parents must endure from other passengers when it happens. No matter what tips and tricks are used to try to soothe a little one’s temperament while 30,000 miles in the air, crying is almost inevitable. So, while having to ease their own child’s anxiety, moms and dads also must suffer being the pariah of the trip. What a nightmare.

Recently, one mom was apparently trying so hard to avoid upsetting her fellow flight members that she went above and beyond to essentially apologize ahead of time if her baby began to cry on its first flight. It was a gesture that, while thoughtful, had folks really feeling for how stressed that poor mom must be.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, one of the passengers—Elliot—explained that the mom handed out small care packages to those nearby.

“She’s already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone,” Elliot said, before panning the camera to reveal a Ziplock bag full of candy, along with a note that made him “want to cry.”

The note read: “It’s my first flight. I made a deal to be on my best behaviour—but I can’t make any guarantees. I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable. Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

@callmebelly♬ BIRDS OF A FEATHER - Billie Eilish

Like Elliot, those who watched the video felt some ambivalence at the well intentioned act. Many felt remorse that she would feel the need to appease people in this way.

“This is so sweet but also … kind of breaks my heart that we live in a world in which parents feel the need to do that.”

“Because jerk people have shamed parents into believing that they need to apologize for their kids' absolutely normal behavior. What a gem of a mom.”

“You know that sweet mom worried about this trip so much.”

“That poor mom probably spent nights awake … nervous about that flight, thinking of ways to keep strangers happy.”

"That's a mom trying so hard."

Many rallied behind the mom, arguing that making others feel more comfortable with her child being on board was in no way her responsibility.

“No mom should be apologizing. Adults can control their emotions … babies not …. Hugging this mom from a distance.”

“Dear new parents: no you don’t have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.”

Luckily, there are just as many stories of fellow passengers being completely compassionate towards parents with small children—from simply choosing to throw on their headphones during a tantrum (instead of throwing one themselves) to going out of their way to comfort a baby (and taking the load of a parent in the process). These little acts of kindness make more of an impact than we probably realize. Perhaps if we incorporated more of this “it takes a village” mindset, flying could be a little bit more pleasant for everyone involved.

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Humor

Couples share the 'weirdest' things they discovered after moving in with together

Moving in together changes everything, doesn't it?

Photo credit: Canva

People listed everything from kitchen quirks to mind boggling sleep habits.

No relationship remains unchanged after moving in together. This is the chapter where you learn about your significant other’s truest self, in many ways—their habits, ticks, how they manage chores and money, their sleep patterns, their level of tidiness, their communication style, how they handle conflict, etc. The good, the bad, and yes, the ugly.

And while having these revelations can end a relationship, it’s also a milestone that helps endear our partners to us, and helps both partners connect on a deeper level. Some initial anxiety can lead to wholehearted commitment…with maybe even a few laughs along the way.

Recently, folks online decided to open up about their own personal discoveries they made about their other half after moving in together, and boy are these stories entertaining, not to mention relatable. Read along for a good chuckle, and to remind yourself that if you live with a sweetheart (and their peculiarities) you are not alone.

What's the weirdest thing you've discovered about your partner only after moving in together?
byu/SeasonBeneficial5871 inAskReddit

“He will occasionally (usually when I'm not around to be appalled) eat dry tortellini straight out of the bag when he's reading in bed. Dry. Tortellini.”

“We were fixing to watch a movie and he wanted popcorn. He said ‘too bad we don’t have any lettuce.’ I asked if he wanted a salad, he said ‘No, I want popcorn and lettuce.’ He said he never said anything at the movie theater because he always knows they never have lettuce. The man eats bites of lettuce and popcorn together. His whole family does.”

“She doesn't fully close cabinets or lids. She'll leave out a jar of anything (jelly, peanut butter, etc) and give the lid a quarter turn then call it a day.”

“In the middle of the night I will wake up to him having both of his arms straight in the air like a damn zombie. If I lay too close to him when he does this I get a surprise mammogram when he inevitably drops his arms down.”

“He set tons of alarms, but none actually wake him up.”

media1.giphy.com

“While I'm cooking, he insists on opening the goddamn oven MULTIPLE TIMES to check if it's ready. Makes me homicidal.”

“My partner secretly freaks out whenever I'm cooking and the stove is set any higher than medium-low. if i walk away for more than one second, he would turn it down and not say anything.”

“My boyfriend sleep talks, yells, sings, and laughs. I’ve woken up in a panic thinking someone was breaking in because he had yelled at the top of his lungs “WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE” just to look over seconds later and see him with his eyes closed and mouth wide open 💀”

“How every single cup of coffee is left 1/4 full around the apartment.”

“He sleeps like a vampire; sleeping on his back, with his arms straight by his sides or folded on his chest. Every. Single. Night. Some nights he doesn’t even change his position at all. I was seriously concerned during the first couple of nights we slept in the same bed.”

media1.giphy.com

“He completely undresses before going to the bathroom to poop.”

“Evidently there is a right way and a wrong way to fold towels.”

“I always thought that when movies or TV shows feature someone talking in their sleep, and they just spout random, silly nonsense, that it was mostly for comedic effect and wasn’t really a reflection of real life. Nope. My partner talks in his sleep and it’s always just absolute random, silly nonsense. The most recent one was, in a tone of dismay; ‘There’s ice cream all over the stairs…’ followed by a drawn out ‘broooooooo.’ He also just periodically giggles in his sleep, which, frankly, is one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen from another human.

“He wanted to put all the cutlery just straight into a drawer without any divides between knives, forks and spoons. Just... All in there in a mess.”

“My ex slept with his eyes slightly open. The first night I thought he died. The second night I almost performed an exorcism.”

“She is capable of reversing her sleep schedule as needed. I've had the same sleep schedule for decades and she just... makes up new ones when needed.”

“He wakes up every night to find something to eat from the fridge while half asleep.. And drops food all the way from the fridge back to bed. And sometimes leaves cutlery in the fridge.”

“She eats Oreos by taking a tall glass and filling it about three quarters full of the cookies then she fills the glass with milk. She then waits about 5-10 minutes, stirs it all into a slurry and eats it like soup.”

“She doesn’t talk in her sleep but she hums. Sometimes I can make out the tune. Last night it was Pink Pony Club.”

“Socks. All over the place.”

media0.giphy.com

“She rarely wears clothes, she's the naked neighbor, and now so am I.”

And then, sometimes it’s about being surprised by the sense of peace our partners bring us. This can be especially true for those that come from traumatic living situations. It can be just as much of an adjustment to simply have a drama-free home.

“How unbelievably, and almost uniquely, normal she is.She has no drama. No family issues. No trauma induced fetishes. She likes Superman and loves people for who they are. She’s mild mannered and kind. Loves animals. Like she has ZERO crazy. We’ve never raised our voices to one another in 9 years together.Coming from 30 years of chaotic relationships, it’s still a little unsettling to me sometimes. Like we’ve been married 7 years now and I still wait for the crazy to pop up, but there very well may just not be any. She’s the definition of a breath of fresh air. Every day.”

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Science

The longest — and probably largest — proof of our current climate catastrophe ever caught on camera.

It was the largest such event ever filmed.

Exposure Labs

All GIFs and images via Exposure Labs.

Photographer James Balog and his crew were hanging out near a glacier when their camera captured something extraordinary. They were in Greenland, gathering footage from the time-lapse they'd positioned all around the Arctic Circle for the last several years.

They were also there to shoot scenes for a documentary. And while they were hoping to capture some cool moments on camera, no one expected a huge chunk of a glacier to snap clean off and slide into the ocean right in front of their eyes.


science, calving, glaciers

A glacier falls into the sea.

assets.rebelmouse.io

ocean swells, sea level, erosion, going green

Massive swells created by large chunks of glacier falling away.

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It was the largest such event ever filmed.

For nearly an hour and 15 minutes, Balog and his crew stood by and watched as a piece of ice the size of lower Manhattan — but with ice-equivalent buildings that were two to three times taller than that — simply melted away.

geological catastrophe, earth, glacier melt

A representation demonstrating the massive size of ice that broke off into the sea.

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As far as anyone knows, this was an unprecedented geological catastrophe and they caught the entire thing on tape. It won't be the last time something like this happens either.

But once upon a time, Balog was openly skeptical about that "global warming" thing.

Balog had a reputation since the early 1980s as a conservationist and environmental photographer. And for nearly 20 years, he'd scoffed at the climate change heralds shouting, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!"

"I didn't think that humans were capable of changing the basic physics and chemistry of this entire, huge planet. It didn't seem probable, it didn't seem possible," he explained in the 2012 documentary film "Chasing Ice."

There was too much margin of error in the computer simulations, too many other pressing problems to address about our beautiful planet. As far as he was concerned, these melodramatic doomsayers were distracting from the real issues.

That was then.

Greenland, Antarctica, glacier calving

The glacier ice continues to erode away.

assets.rebelmouse.io

In fact, it wasn't until 2005 that Balog became a believer.

He was sent on a photo expedition of the Arctic by National Geographic, and that first northern trip was more than enough to see the damage for himself.

"It was about actual tangible physical evidence that was preserved in the ice cores of Greenland and Antarctica," he said in a 2012 interview with ThinkProgress. "That was really the smoking gun showing how far outside normal, natural variation the world has become. And that's when I started to really get the message that this was something consequential and serious and needed to be dealt with."

Some of that evidence may have been the fact that more Arctic landmass has melted away in the last 20 years than the previous 10,000 years.

Watch the video of the event of the glacier calving below:

This article originally appeared 10 years ago.

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