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A heartfelt plea to put down the phone and remember what makes moviegoing so special

A lack of phone etiquette runs amok in many places, but in a theater…it hits different.

phone etiquette, movies, amc
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Let's make some movie magic.

When streaming entered the picture, movie theaters began making their slow death march into obscurity. Then, when COVID hit and being entertained from the comfort of your own couch became more mainstream than ever, it seemed as though the lights of the marquee might dim for good, casting moviegoing into a bygone era.

But now, in an epic plot twist, seats are being filled once again. Perhaps the box office hasn’t fully bounced back, but there is a marked surge in interest. With a huge uptick in tickets being purchased not just for franchise blockbusters but original stories in a variety of genres, cinema very well may be approaching its second Golden Age. Director Francis Ford Coppola seems to think so, and he knows his stuff, I reckon.

It’s clear that many of us are longing for the opportunity to be part of an audience again. After all, coming together as a community to witness storytelling is an ancient, integral part of the human experience. There are just too many alchemical moments that happen in an auditorium—a collective gasp, uproarious laughter that permeates throughout the crowd, shared sobs, a long, luxurious standing ovation—that remind us we’re not alone in the way we feel, and they simply can’t be replicated at home.

Plus, as with the Barbenheimer phenomenon—the countless memes, themed outfits, and double feature screenings—we are reminded that the moviegoing experience can become so much bigger than the actual movie itself. And that’s all part of the fun.
@mollyshen Which is the correct way to do barbenheimer? 😂 #barbie #oppenheimer #movie #movietheater #barbenheimer #barbiegirl #relatable ♬ Barbie World (with Aqua) [From Barbie The Album] - Nicki Minaj & Ice Spice & Aqua

After many opportunities to celebrate, explore and simply bask in our own humanity with others (in the flesh, in real time) have been stripped away for so long, we long for a space that provides those things. Moviegoing provides that. It’s like Nicole Kidman says, “We come to this place for magic…because we need that, all of us.”

However, if we really want to achieve “that indescribable feeling when the lights begin to dim,” we might need to set aside some of our modern-day habits.

We now live in a world where every moment of our lives can be recorded on our phones. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this—the fact that it’s easier than ever to capture sweet memories and share things online is lovely in many ways. But, just because we can record anywhere and everywhere doesn’t mean we should.

via GIPHY

For one thing, it doesn't necessarily benefit the person doing it. Odds are you’re going to a movie in part to escape from reality for a bit, right? Even if you are simply snapping a selfie or creating a quick Instagram story, the device that constantly barrages you with the various updates, messages, news, notifications yadda yadda yadda…that you are trying to escape from is sitting right there in your hand. So mentally, are you ever really freed from its grasp?

Not to mention there are multiple studies that suggest relying on phones to collect our memories really does make us miss the moment entirely, especially the important ones. So why not allow yourself to leave the phone behind for your own sense of peace? It’s not like you’re going totally screen-less…there’s a giant one right in front of you.

Homer At The Movies GIFfrom Movie GIFs

Second: it’s a real bummer for those in the theater sharing the moment with you. And sharing is part of experience, remember?

It can be easy, especially in a time where it’s more than acceptable to treat ourselves as “the main character” of our story and the entire world as our living room, to forget that other people, well, exist, and that anywhere outside the home is a shared space. But if part of what makes going to the movies so enjoyable is, in fact, the shared interaction (and rest assured, it’s a big part) then it stands to reason that in those 90+ minutes, the adage of “treat others as you’d like to be treated” is all the more paramount to actually getting what you came for in the first place. Just think—for many, stealing away to the movie theater might have been the one fleeting moment in a week of stresses and responsibilities to sit back and simply engage in a story, away from the static of the modern world. The opportunity for you to do the same and escape with them is right there. And it’s a beautiful thing.

Perhaps you already practice good public phone etiquette (sincerely, thank you for your service). But many theater attendees do not practice this. It has become rather normal theater behavior to scroll, take selfies, film certain scenes with the flash on…so much so that there have already been multiple think pieces noting how “distracting,” “selfish” and “disrespectful” a trend it is. But rather than focusing on how much of a nuisance it is, perhaps we need to be reminded of what purpose moviegoing serves. Is it really just another social media op? Or is it this wonderful, transient, visceral event that actually makes you feel more connected? I know which one I would rather have.

amelie

Sit back and enjoy.

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Bottom line: Watching a movie at the theater is different from watching a movie at home. And it should be. We do go to the theater for magic, but it’s up to us to make room for magic too.

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15 years ago, a Russian gymnast was interrupted by her 2-year-old daughter. It became a historic performance.

"This is beyond beautiful. 🥲"

dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome
Umi4ika/Youtube

Svetlana Putintseva with her daughter Masha.

In 2005 at only 18 years old, Russian rhythmic gymnast Svetlana Putintseva became a world champion, after which she retired and eventually became a mom. Then, in 2011, Putintseva came out of retirement for one special Gala performance.

Little did anyone know that her then two-year-old daughter named Masha would be the key to making that performance so special.

As the story goes, the young child refused to leave her side that night. But rather than stopping the performance, Putintseva did what so many incredible moms do: she masterfully held space for two different identities.

As we see in the video below, Putintseva simply brought Masha onto the dance floor and incorporated her into the routine—holding and comforting her at times, performing impressive moves while she ran around at others…letting it all become a lively, endearing interaction rather than a rote routine. It became something really touching:

Watch:

Now, a bit of fact-checking as this video has once again started going viral. Despite what many captions say, Putintseva‘s daughter was likely always a planned part of the performance (the tiny leotard is a bit of a giveaway). But that doesn’t really take away from the message behind it: motherhood weaves another soul into one's identity, forever. And one of the biggest lessons it teaches is how to hold someone else steady, all while becoming ourselves.

Every day, moms are engaging in a similar type of “dance”: navigating through the world while guiding and nurturing their little ones. It probably doesn't always feel quite as graceful as what Putintseva put out, and, yet, it is just as beautiful.

dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome A mother hugging her daughter.Photo credit: Canva

Maybe so many thought it was an improvised moment because improvising is a very real parent superpower. That’s certainly the takeaway we get from some of these lovely comments:

“You cannot control life but you can learn to dance with it. 🤍”

"This is beyond beautiful. 🥲"

“If this isn't a metaphor for motherhood. We improvise so much.”

“A mother’s unconditional love 🥹❤️ She just made my whole month.”

“I do this sometimes while deejaying. My daughter comes up so I hit the slicer and let her chop it up. A few chops and she is happy and goes about her business. 🥰”

“I can see my daughter doing this to me soon whenever I get up on stage on perform. She already stares long and hard at me whenever I am onnstage singing. She doesn't take her eyes off me. Sure she would be running up to stand with me when she starts walking 😂😂 i look forward to it tho”

“Sobbing 😭😭😭😭 As a dancer who hasn’t performed since having a kid, this inspires me in so many ways 🥹🥹 So beautiful and it’s clear that she admires her mom so much 🥰”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Though not much is written on Putintseva following this performance, one blog post says that Masha has followed in her footsteps by getting into rhythmic gymnastics. Maybe it all started with this one performance. ❤️

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You can't import it or cook it. Why a traditional Scottish dish is banned in America

Is it too much for Americans to handle?

haggis, beans, bacon, english food, scottish food, mushrooms
via Jeremy Keith/Flickr

A plate of tasty food from the United Kingdom.

In the 1993 cult comedy So I Married an Axe Murderer, actor Mike Myers takes a big shot at Scottish cuisine: "My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare." Obviously, that's an exaggeration. There are many wonderful Scottish treats that Americans love.

Every time you eat a tasty, buttery shortbread cookie, you can thank Scotland. The roast beef and gravy meal many people savor on Sunday nights also traces its roots to Scottish culinary tradition, as does oatmeal, once a humble peasant food that has since become a wellness staple.

What is haggis?

However, Myers may be onto something when it comes to haggis, a traditional Scottish dish made from lamb lung, sheep's heart, liver, suet, minced onion, stock, and spices. While Americans enjoy lamb from time to time, the heart and lungs tend to fall outside our culinary comfort zone. And to take things up a notch, the dish is traditionally cooked inside a sheep's stomach. Talk about using the entire animal.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Americans who have tasted it have compared it favorably to meatloaf and less favorably to "creamy oatmeal and meatloaf."

Why is haggis banned in the U.S.?

To take the dare analogy a step further, in 1971 the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) banned haggis from being imported into the U.S. because it is illegal to eat sheep lung, or the lungs of any livestock. During slaughter, fluids from other parts of the body, including stomach contents, can collect in the lungs, creating a potentially toxic environment. Additionally, livestock lungs tend to contain higher levels of environmental toxins and microorganisms than other organs.

haggis, big haggis, sheep stomach, cooked haggis, scottish food A large haggis.via Mr. F/Flickr

As if the 1971 ban weren't enough, in 1989 the USDA banned the import of United Kingdom sheep meat due to concerns about a neurodegenerative disease in livestock.

The haggis ban must be especially hard for people of Scottish heritage on Burns Night, which takes place every year on January 25. Haggis is the evening's official dish, as it was a favorite of the poet Robert Burns, who is celebrated that night. He even penned an ode to the dish in "Address to a Haggis." Here's an excerpt:

Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,

And dish them out their bill o' fare,

Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware

That jaups in luggies;

But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,

Gie her a Haggis!


haggis, sheep stomach, cooked haggis, scottish food, haggis and gravy A plate of haggis and gravy.via Umami/Flickr

Is haggis ready for a comeback?

For Americans hoping to enjoy haggis on Burns Night in 2027, there's a chance the delicacy could finally be on the menu. In 2021, then-President Joe Biden struck a deal with then–U.K. Prime Minister Boris Johnson that reopened the door for sheep meat imports to the U.S. Meanwhile, Scotland's largest haggis producer, Macsween of Edinburgh, has been working on a U.S.-friendly version of haggis that includes everything except the lamb lung.

Whether you're brave enough to chow down on haggis or prefer to stick with shortbread cookies, the dish serves as a reminder of a time when people used every part of the animal to sustain themselves and their families. But its ban raises one lingering question. If haggis is considered too dangerous to import into the U.S., why hasn't it posed any real danger to the people of Scotland?

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Gen Xers and Millennials share the 'distinct smells' from the '90s that defined the decade

"Cucumber Melon and Camel Lights."

90s smells, scents of the 90s, bath and body works 90s, cucumber melon, runts, runts candy
Images via Reddit/Dove04

Gen Xers and Millennials describe what the '90s smelled like, from Bath & Body Works' Cucumber Melon to banana-flavored Runts.

The '90s were a decade like no other. With TV psychics, parachutes in gym class, and iconic TV shows binged during sick days, the era was packed with uniquely memorable moments that Generation X and Millennials still feel nostalgic about today.

Beyond the epic CDs and cartoons, the '90s were also defined by specific scents. Gen Xers and Millennials on Reddit recently discussed the nostalgic smells of the decade—from specific foods like banana-flavored Runts to the distinct scent of roller-rink carpet and classic Bath & Body Works fragrances. Here's what they had to say:

@jennaabarclay

‘90s bath & body works scents WITH the ‘90s label 🥹 the nostalgia hit so hard and I’m so happy #90s #bathandbodyworks

"Cigarettes and this [roller rink] carpet….Ahhhhh memories." - Battlerapschef

"And teen spirit." - UbermachoGuy

"5 year old Runts in the quarter vending machine. Banana." - 9829eisB09E83C

"Cucumber Melon and Camel Lights." - Heatherjjjjjjjj

"This nasty [Glad Country Garden] potpourri spray. I can hear the very specific sound that spray made with its thick *ss pressed button. CHSHHHHH." - abby-rose, Constant-Net-4652, D4FF00

"[Victoria's Secret] Love Spell." - a_solid_6

" McDonald's happy meal toys had a certain smell that I can remember to this day. Probably poison." - ogmoss

"CK one everywhere." - snn1326j

"Clove cigarettes and espresso. Especially for goths." - Lost_Balloon_, Vesper2000

"Let's not forget Drakkar Noir." - Technical-Donut-7354

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"LA Looks hair gel." - FarAd1429

"Electronics. The smell of cathode ray monitors and TVs, Blockbuster VHS tape boxes, the inside of Nintendo cartridges when you blew the dust out, etc." - oceanicwhitetip

"Fresh vinyl from blowup furniture." - Asterclad

"Herbal Essence." - barcham22

"The 90's had a number of unique smells. Especially if you were a kid. Lots of toys had these weird off gassing smells, like the creepy crawlers set. Sort of a sweet plastic smell. We also had the blessing of grandparents old Christmas decorations that smelled different from the stuff manufactured overseas today. The things our grandparents stored were probably slightly toxic but had a very, very nostalgic energy to them. You could almost smell the past." - TrillDough

"Like dew evaporating off the pavement." - zekerthedog

"Nautica, Cool Water, Hugo Boss, Curve and Polo Sport." - GurrenLagann214

"Apple shampoo, mall food courts, and movie theater popcorn." - thatmattschultz

@tara_town

The smells of our childhood 🥰 #90s #2000s #millennial #nostalgia

"Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers or Gap Grass." - Apprehensive-Stay196

"The smell from traffic…inescapable. Before catalytic converters were regulated you could smell transportation on you. Go stand in a busy covered parking garage and you will get a hint of what the cities smelled like." - h1storyguy

"LEMON PLEDGE!!!!!" - BlackDynamite58990

"I remember many girls almost choking us with their vanilla perfume. God it was sickening." - fettoter84

"Little incense candles inside incense warmers. Bong hits filtered thru a shampoo bottle stuffed with dryer sheets. Ralph Lauren Polo. JOOP! Any cologne/perfume sample from a magazine. Marlboro Lights. Empty Busch Light cans. And the sweet sweet smell of slacking..." - Live_Past_8978

"The inside spine of a plastic VHS tape cover." - canoe4you

"Wet JNCO's and wet barefoot sandals with a mix of Polo or Pear Berry Splash and cigarette smoke." - xxMalVeauXxx

"Fruitopia." - No_Tart686

"Go into a old school bowling alley and that's exactly what 90's smelled like." - ItsBal707

"And Extra chewing gum." - Ill-Emu-1121

"Sbarro pizza in a mall. That weird smell of water from a hose in the heat. Sunblock. The smell of a new Gameboy game." - Eris_Balm

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Psychologist explains why praising people's efforts instead of their results leads to better outcomes

It's not just about making people feel good.

compliments, psychology, conversation tips, communication, communication tips
Photo credit: Canva

The type of compliment you give can impact a person's growth.

Whether it's an employee or a student, offering compliments and praise for their work is important. It's not only kind, but it can also help motivate continued growth and long-term success. That said, there is such a thing as praising someone effectively.

Andy Luttrell, a social psychologist, and others argue that the most effective praise focuses on effort rather than assigning a trait or ability to someone's success or fixating on the final result.

In a video, Luttrell explains that comments like, "Wow, you got ten questions right, you're so smart," or "Wow, you got ten questions right, that's a perfect score," can boost self-esteem. However, that kind of praise may be limiting compared to feedback such as, "Wow, you got ten questions right, you must have worked really hard."

- YouTube youtu.be

According to Luttrell, children participating in a study on praise were given quizzes and then divided into three groups. One third received praise focused only on the result, another third were praised for an assigned trait or ability, such as being told, "You're so smart," and the final third were praised for their effort with feedback like, "You must have worked hard."

When given the choice between taking a more challenging quiz or an easier one, children who had been praised for their intelligence were more likely to choose the easier option than those praised for effort. Later, when the children took a tougher quiz and were told they performed worse than before, researchers asked whether they wanted to take the problems home to keep working on them. Most of the children praised for being smart declined, while the majority of those praised for effort welcomed the chance to keep trying.

@progress.playground

Stop complimenting people's talents, start complimenting their efforts. Saying you're so smart, beautiful, funny doesn't really help people in comparison to complimenting people's efforts. "I love that you constantly critically think about these situations" instead of "you're so smart" "I love that you take the time to focus on your appearance" instead of "you're so beautiful" " it's amazing that you focus on being unapologetically yourself! Your charisma really shines bright" instead of "you're so funny" #communicationskills #communication #communicationtips

While Luttrell focused his research on schoolchildren, the same psychology applies to adults in the workplace. When praise centers heavily on ability, traits, or results, people often feel motivated to protect that image. To preserve perceptions of being "intelligent," "beautiful," or "strong," they may take fewer risks that could threaten that reputation.

This hesitation can stem from ego, fear of being seen as lesser if things go wrong, or the belief that praise is only earned through successful outcomes. As a result, people who are consistently complimented for ability rather than effort can become stuck, avoiding challenges and limiting their own growth instead of reaching their full potential.

However, people who are praised for their effort are more likely to take chances, work harder, and pursue larger goals. Because their effort is recognized, they feel encouraged rather than pressured, making them less afraid to tackle challenges without needing to be perfect. While achievement still matters, emphasizing effort creates space to fall short, knowing their work will still be valued. And if they do fail, they're more likely to take risks again rather than retreat, continuing to challenge themselves and grow.

@amandalizzie

we love a compliment tip 😅 #forfun #forfunzies #fypシ #foryou #work #workhumor #working #workinggirl #boss #marketing #marketingtiktok #worklife #funnymoments #workinghardorhardlyworking #worklifebelike

So the next time you pay someone a compliment, whether it's a child, a coworker, or anyone else, consider focusing on their effort. Saying things like, "I can tell you worked hard on this," or "I saw how much effort you put into that," can be powerful when they succeed. And if they fall short, encouragement such as, "You worked hard, and you'll do better next time," can boost them enough to make that achievement true the next time around.

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Woman explains the beautiful feeling of 'sonder,' or realizing random strangers have full lives

It's the opposite of feeling like you're on The Truman Show.

sonder, feelings, life, humanity, human connection, psychology, beauty, mortality, universe
Photo credit: Canva

You might experience sonder when you look out a plane window or pass by an apartment building.

In the 1998 film The Truman Show, Jim Carrey's character gradually discovers that his entire life is a lie. The world around him is a television set, and everyone he knows—his friends, family, even his wife—are paid actors. He is the main character, and the entire universe of the show revolves around him.

Though most of us have never genuinely wondered whether we're living in an elaborate production like Truman (well, some have), it can sometimes feel that way. After all, in our own minds, we are the main characters of our own lives. Everyone else becomes a supporting character. When they're "off-screen," we can't say for certain what they're doing, and we tend to think about them only in terms of how their actions might affect us.

That's why the beautiful feeling known as "sonder" can be so profound. It's the strange sensation you get when staring out the window of an airplane, looking at the cars moving along the highway below, and realizing that each dot of light represents a vehicle with a human being inside it—maybe even an entire family. They're all on their way somewhere, perhaps to meet other people who are also living full, rich, complex lives you will never know about. Then, in the blink of an eye, they're gone forever, in a sense.

You might feel this when walking by an apartment building and gazing at the shadows moving behind lit windows, or at an airport, where you wonder where people are going and what their stories might be.

sonder, feelings, life, humanity, human connection, psychology, beauty, mortality, universe There are entire, rich, complex lives happening in those lit windows. Photo by Shalev Cohen on Unsplash

Sonder, explains content creator, software engineer, and writer Felecia Freely, is the sudden "realization that each random passerby is the main character of their own story, living a life just as vivid and complex as your own, while you are just an extra in the background."

Freely explains it beautifully in a now-viral Instagram reel:

"Imagine how big and all-encompassing your experience of your life is. And then imagine that every single person in traffic with you also has that. So does every person in the grocery store. And every person in the world."

It's a breathtaking realization. Of course, we all know this to be true in our minds, but sonder is when that understanding hits you in your body and becomes more than knowledge—it becomes a profound feeling.

Freely's video has received hundreds of thousands of views. Many commenters were surprised to learn there was an actual word for this hyper-specific feeling:

"OMFG THERES A WORD FOR THIS?! i've always wondered."

"I get it in traffic a lot. Just like, where are they all going"

"I get this feeling at the airport"

"Sonder happens when I go for drives down lonely roads in the middle of nowhere where I've never been & see a little house w/ cars & lites on. I wonder what they're like & what's goin on in their lives"

The term was coined around 2012 by writer John Koenig for his project, The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.

He writes that it comes from the French word sonder, which means "to plumb the depths." The term began as a neologism, an invented word meant to describe a universal feeling and fill a gap in the English language. But it has since caught on in wider usage and even appears in Merriam-Webster.

Some people describe sonder as a melancholy or even overwhelming feeling—of course, it does have a pretty sorrowful origin. Others, however, have learned to embrace it when it comes.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Mitchell M. Handelsman writes for Psychology Today that he does not view sonder as a negative emotion. Quite the contrary:

"Sonder becomes even more important as I teach students who are different from me. Most of my students are different on at least some of almost every conceivable dimension—age (this difference grows every year!), gender, ambitions, test performance, grades, place of birth, religion, height, writing ability, intellectual prowess, political beliefs, academic experiences, hair color, sexual preference, family background, etc. Appreciating students' lives as rich, complex, and important may set the stage for greater understanding, relating, and learning."

Appreciating and leaning into feelings of sonder can help us grow our empathy for one another.

One commenter summed it up beautifully: "This used to terrify me but it now soothes me deeply and helps round out my compassion and wonder at the world."

Another said: "Honestly everyone says that this is a depressing reality, but I kinda feel comfort in it. The fact that every person you see all has their own lives means that there is always something good happening in the world, no matter how miserable it seems sometimes."

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