Katy Perry kissed a boy and he liked it — but she should have asked first.

"American Idol" is back and apparently now features some judge-on-contestant kissing.

It's hard to keep people interested in a show entering its 16th season, so it makes sense that show's new home at ABC would pull out all the stops to try to get people's attention. In the season premiere for the new season, judge Katy Perry broke new ground on the show, bestowing a quick peck on the lips to 19-year-old Benjamin Glaze.

GIFs from "American Idol"/YouTube.


After joking that he liked his job as a cashier at an electronics store because it meant that cute girls have to say hi to him, judge Luke Bryan asked Glaze if he's "kissed a girl and liked it," an obvious reference to Perry's 2008 mega-hit. He says that he's actually never kissed a girl. Naturally, Perry asked Glaze to come closer and kiss her on the cheek. As he leaned in, Perry turned her head and kissed him on the lips.

Some people online quickly pointed to the underlying issue of consent, and they're absolutely right.

Though Glaze didn't seem to mind the kiss, Perry should have asked him first. From what viewers see (as it's entirely possible there were bits of relevant dialogue cut out by producers), he consented to kissing her cheek, not getting a kiss on the lips.

Still, a number of media outlets and Twitter users framed the encounter in a sort of "he's so lucky," isn't this adorable," "this is so cute" type of way. "Katy Perry gave one lucky 'American Idol' contestant his very first kiss — and his reaction is hilarious," read the headline of an article at Insider.

He kissed @katyperry and he liked it. 😘💋😍 #AmericanIdol

A post shared by American Idol (@americanidol) on

But imagine how different the reaction would have been had the roles been reversed? What if instead of Perry kissing a male contestant 14 years younger than her, it was Bryan doing the same with a female contestant? If we're being honest with ourselves, we can probably admit that the situation wouldn't have seemed quite as "cute" or "funny," right? It's a safe bet there wouldn't be media outlets rushing to cover it that way either.

It's less about this specific instance and more the message it sends — especially to kids.

For one, we owe it to boys and men to care about their ability to consent as much as we owe it to girls and women. When we treat situations differently based on the gender of the person breaching consent, we're not sending a good message, especially when it comes to younger viewers.

At her Baby Sideburns blog, writer Karen Alpert walked through some of the issues she had with the segment, which are worth consideration.

"But there are millions of children watching your every move. Girls and boys," writes Alpert. "And when you kiss a boy on the lips without his permission, when you trick him into that, you’re teaching our children the wrong thing. I’m not saying every teenager out there has to ask permission for every single little kiss, but you do have to be pretty sure that’s what someone wants before you do that."

The kiss was harmless, and this isn't meant to be some sort of attack on Perry. But let's learn from it and build a better world for our kids based around these lessons.

It's a teachable moment for us all and, again, was pretty harmless in the big picture. It's because it was harmless that we can learn from it the next time something isn't harmless.

Watch the full clip of Glaze's audition below.

True

When Sue Hoppin was in college, she met the man she was going to marry. "I was attending the University of Denver, and he was at the Air Force Academy," she says. "My dad had also attended the University of Denver and warned me not to date those flyboys from the Springs."

"He didn't say anything about marrying one of them," she says. And so began her life as a military spouse.

The life brings some real advantages, like opportunities to live abroad — her family got to live all around the US, Japan, and Germany — but it also comes with some downsides, like having to put your spouse's career over your own goals.

"Though we choose to marry someone in the military, we had career goals before we got married, and those didn't just disappear."

Career aspirations become more difficult to achieve, and progress comes with lots of starts and stops. After experiencing these unique challenges firsthand, Sue founded an organization to help other military spouses in similar situations.

Sue had gotten a degree in international relations because she wanted to pursue a career in diplomacy, but for fourteen years she wasn't able to make any headway — not until they moved back to the DC area. "Eighteen months later, many rejections later, it became apparent that this was going to be more challenging than I could ever imagine," she says.

Eighteen months is halfway through a typical assignment, and by then, most spouses are looking for their next assignment. "If I couldn't find a job in my own 'hometown' with multiple degrees and a great network, this didn't bode well for other military spouses," she says.

She's not wrong. Military spouses spend most of their lives moving with their partners, which means they're often far from family and other support networks. When they do find a job, they often make less than their civilian counterparts — and they're more likely to experience underemployment or unemployment. In fact, on some deployments, spouses are not even allowed to work.

Before the pandemic, military spouse unemployment was 22%. Since the pandemic, it's expected to rise to 35%.

Sue eventually found a job working at a military-focused nonprofit, and it helped her get the experience she needed to create her own dedicated military spouse program. She wrote a book and started saving up enough money to start the National Military Spouse Network (NMSN), which she founded in 2010 as the first organization of its kind.

"I founded the NMSN to help professional military spouses develop flexible careers they could perform from any location."

"Over the years, the program has expanded to include a free digital magazine, professional development events, drafting annual White Papers and organizing national and local advocacy to address the issues of most concern to the professional military spouse community," she says.

Not only was NMSN's mission important to Sue on a personal level she also saw it as part of something bigger than herself.

"Gone are the days when families can thrive on one salary. Like everyone else, most military families rely on two salaries to make ends meet. If a military spouse wants or needs to work, they should be able to," she says.

"When less than one percent of our population serves in the military," she continues, "we need to be able to not only recruit the best and the brightest but also retain them."

"We lose out as a nation when service members leave the force because their spouse is unable to find employment. We see it as a national security issue."

"The NMSN team has worked tirelessly to jumpstart the discussion and keep the challenges affecting military spouses top of mind. We have elevated the conversation to Congress and the White House," she continues. "I'm so proud of the fact that corporations, the government, and the general public are increasingly interested in the issues affecting military spouses and recognizing the employment roadblocks they unfairly have faced."

"We have collectively made other people care, and in doing so, we elevated the issues of military spouse unemployment to a national and global level," she adds. "In the process, we've also empowered military spouses to advocate for themselves and our community so that military spouse employment issues can continue to remain at the forefront."

Not only has NMSN become a sought-after leader in the military spouse employment space, but Sue has also seen the career she dreamed of materializing for herself. She was recently invited to participate in the public re-launch of Joining Forces, a White House initiative supporting military and veteran families, with First Lady Dr. Jill Biden.

She has also had two of her recommendations for practical solutions introduced into legislation just this year. She was the first in the Air Force community to show leadership the power of social media to reach both their airmen and their military families.

That is why Sue is one of Tory Burch's "Empowered Women" this year. The $5,000 donation will be going to The Madeira School, a school that Sue herself attended when she was in high school because, she says, "the lessons I learned there as a student pretty much set the tone for my personal and professional life. It's so meaningful to know that the donation will go towards making a Madeira education more accessible to those who may not otherwise be able to afford it and providing them with a life-changing opportunity."

Most military children will move one to three times during high school so having a continuous four-year experience at one high school can be an important gift. After traveling for much of her formative years, Sue attended Madeira and found herself "in an environment that fostered confidence and empowerment. As young women, we were expected to have a voice and advocate not just for ourselves, but for those around us."

To learn more about Tory Burch and Upworthy's Empowered Women program visit https://www.toryburch.com/empoweredwomen/. Nominate an inspiring woman in your community today!

Vanna White appeared on "The Price Is Right" in 1980.

Vanna White has been a household name in the United States for decades, which is kind of hilarious when you consider how she gained her fame and fortune. Since 1982, the former model and actress has made millions walking back and forth turning letters (and later simply touching them—yay technology) on the game show "Wheel of Fortune."

That's it. Walking back and forth in a pretty evening gown, flipping letters and clapping for contestants. More on that job in a minute…

As a member of Gen X, television game shows like "Wheel of Fortune" and "The Price is Right" send me straight back to my childhood. Watching this clip from 1980 of Vanna White competing on "The Price is Right" two years before she started turning letters on "Wheel of Fortune" is like stepping into a time machine. Bob Barker's voice, the theme music, the sound effects—I swear I'm home from school sick, lying on the ugly flowered couch with my mom checking my forehead and bringing me Tang.

This video has it all: the early '80s hairstyles, a fresh-faced Vanna White and Bob Barker's casual sexism that would never in a million years fly today.

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