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Katy Perry kissed a boy and he liked it — but she should have asked first.

Had the roles been reversed, people would not be happy.

"American Idol" is back and apparently now features some judge-on-contestant kissing.

It's hard to keep people interested in a show entering its 16th season, so it makes sense that show's new home at ABC would pull out all the stops to try to get people's attention. In the season premiere for the new season, judge Katy Perry broke new ground on the show, bestowing a quick peck on the lips to 19-year-old Benjamin Glaze.

GIFs from "American Idol"/YouTube.

After joking that he liked his job as a cashier at an electronics store because it meant that cute girls have to say hi to him, judge Luke Bryan asked Glaze if he's "kissed a girl and liked it," an obvious reference to Perry's 2008 mega-hit. He says that he's actually never kissed a girl. Naturally, Perry asked Glaze to come closer and kiss her on the cheek. As he leaned in, Perry turned her head and kissed him on the lips.

Some people online quickly pointed to the underlying issue of consent, and they're absolutely right.

Though Glaze didn't seem to mind the kiss, Perry should have asked him first. From what viewers see (as it's entirely possible there were bits of relevant dialogue cut out by producers), he consented to kissing her cheek, not getting a kiss on the lips.

Still, a number of media outlets and Twitter users framed the encounter in a sort of "he's so lucky," isn't this adorable," "this is so cute" type of way. "Katy Perry gave one lucky 'American Idol' contestant his very first kiss — and his reaction is hilarious," read the headline of an article at Insider.

But imagine how different the reaction would have been had the roles been reversed? What if instead of Perry kissing a male contestant 14 years younger than her, it was Bryan doing the same with a female contestant? If we're being honest with ourselves, we can probably admit that the situation wouldn't have seemed quite as "cute" or "funny," right? It's a safe bet there wouldn't be media outlets rushing to cover it that way either.

It's less about this specific instance and more the message it sends — especially to kids.

For one, we owe it to boys and men to care about their ability to consent as much as we owe it to girls and women. When we treat situations differently based on the gender of the person breaching consent, we're not sending a good message, especially when it comes to younger viewers.

At her Baby Sideburns blog, writer Karen Alpert walked through some of the issues she had with the segment, which are worth consideration.

"But there are millions of children watching your every move. Girls and boys," writes Alpert. "And when you kiss a boy on the lips without his permission, when you trick him into that, you’re teaching our children the wrong thing. I’m not saying every teenager out there has to ask permission for every single little kiss, but you do have to be pretty sure that’s what someone wants before you do that."

The kiss was harmless, and this isn't meant to be some sort of attack on Perry. But let's learn from it and build a better world for our kids based around these lessons.

It's a teachable moment for us all and, again, was pretty harmless in the big picture. It's because it was harmless that we can learn from it the next time something isn't harmless.

Watch the full clip of Glaze's audition below.

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Woman gives stray cat the most Gen X name ever, and her friend can't stand it

As if?

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A woman making a "loser" sign and a shocked cat.

There are no hard-set rules for naming a cat, but if you want to follow the current trends, give them a cute-sounding human name. Over the past two years, the top five most popular cat names have been Luna, followed by Charlie, Lucy, Bella, and Leo.

No matter what type of name it is, it can also be hard to settle on one for a new cat because it’s what you’ll be calling out for the next 12-plus years. What if you name the cat Jerry, but it acts like a Sebastian or a Michael? Then what will you do? Two friends got into a spat over naming a cat, with the new owner rejecting their friend’s suggestions in favor of a term popular among Gen Xers in the ‘80s and ‘90s.


“I found a little stray cat in front of the grocery store. Super friendly but skinny and obviously abandoned,” A Redditor with the username SpecialEggSalad wrote. “My friend was with me and kept throwing out names. I didn’t like any of them. It was Ross, Beck, Tucker, Zorro… I asked her to just chill. She was getting worked up and kept asking if she could have the kitten. [It’s] My kitty. Anyway, after 20 minutes of her, just suggesting endless amounts of names…She got mad and said, ‘Fine, call him whatever you want.’ So now the cat's name is WHATEVER.”


When SpecialEggSlad announced the cat’s name, her friend “turned red in the face and she was about to cry.” It could be that the friend hated the feeling of rejection, but if she grew up in the ‘80s or ‘90s, she’d understand that being on the receiving end of a “whatever” was quite the insult.

What did 'whatever' mean to Gen X?

You see, Gen Xers were known for having an aloof attitude because, in those days, caring too much about anything was totally uncool. So whatever was more than a catchphrase was a way of life. The term became popular in the early ‘80s when Valley Girl speak expanded from Los Angeles to the world. But what began as innocuous slang evolved into something more nihilistic. In Nirvana’s breakout 1991 anthem, Smells Like Teen Spirit, where Kurt Cobain ditches any attempt at making a point in the song by singing, “Oh well, whatever, never mind.” Whatever was a way of distancing yourself from the powers-that-be, whether it was political, religious, corporate, or the media.


The term was also part of ‘90s hand-gesture culture, where people would call someone a loser by making an L with their index and middle fingers and placing it on their forehead. In Clueless, the affluent teens used two hands to merge the double Ls into a W, to signal “whatever,” with a double loser casher. Business Insider’s Emily Stewart notes that Gen X’s attitude comes from being raised as the least parented generation in recent memory. “Gen X's ‘whatever’ attitude has translated to a society that's perpetually a little ‘whatever’ about them,” she wrote.


It may be a knock on Gen Xers that they were once so nihilistic that they rallied around the term whatever, but it’s also a sign of knowing what’s important. A lot is going on in the world, and we only have so many Fs to give; it’s best to hand them out to the people who deserve them. Because when you care about everything, it’s hard to truly care about anything.

In the Reddit post, SpecialEggSlad faced criticism from commenters for naming her cat Whatever, which made it look like she didn’t care about the animal. Realizing this, she changed the cat’s name to Peekaboo. Let’s just hope the kitty grows into its name and isn’t a cat that refuses to hide, even if given an incredibly cozy cardboard box.

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A jaw-dropping 5th grade assignment asked kids to 'set their price for a slave'

Somehow this is still happening.

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A 5th grade class erupted in controversy after an insensitive assignment about slavery.

The slave trade is an extremely dark and horrific part of American history. It's impossible to talk about the history of our country without it, but it's also difficult to talk about with the right level of sensitivity, respect, nuance, and context. Millions of people died directly because of the Atlantic slave trade, which is to say nothing of the inhumane cruelty that the survivors of enslavement suffered.

How do you explain something so unimaginably awful to children? No one would ever say it's easy, but outdated curriculums and even insensitive teachers have been bungling it for decades. Poorly thought-out slavery lessons have been a problem in American schools for a long time now.

In an effort to help kids make sense of something so truly senseless, assignments often try to put kids in the shoes of slave owners and ask that they understand the reasons and logic behind the practice. This is the wrong lesson, and stories like this one show exactly why.

In 2019, 5th grade students at Blades Elementary School were given an assignment on the trading market of early Colonial settlers. One of the questions was completely outrageous.

According to a photo posted on Facebook by Lee Hart, the assignment read:

"You own a plantation or farm and therefore need more workers. You begin to get involved in the slave trade industry and have slaves work on your farm. Your product to trade is slaves.

"Set your price for a slave," it continued, offering a blank space for children to write in their answer. "These could be worth a lot. You may trade for any items you'd like."

The post went viral in local Facebook groups at the time, quickly attracting media attention and outrage among fellow parents.

"Unimaginable that a teacher would think this way okay," one commenter wrote.

"How stupid, insensitive, racial, unbelievable in today’s world. The teacher needs to be penalized for this," someone said.

"Any teacher, as we approach 2020, should be educated and sensitive enough to know that there are better examples that could be used to teach this lesson, which would not make anyone uncomfortable," another user added.

See the assignment here. It's hard to believe without seeing it with your own eyes.

slavery, assignment, american history, slave trade, plantation owners Lee Hart www.facebook.com

You can see immediately where the assignment went wrong. Instead of teaching about the horrors of enslaving another human being, we're building empathy for the poor slave owners who just need someone to work their land so they can get by. While the context of how the early trade-based economy worked is important for children to learn, how we talk about it is even more important.

Can you imagine an assignment that prompted children to put themselves in the Nazi's shoes during the Holocaust? Exactly.

Assignments like this one have been going home with students for years. This is just one of the latest examples and, somehow, incidents like this one are still happening.

slavery, early america, united states of america, education, schools, classroom, parents, controversy, colonial america, civil war Parents of the 5th grade students were outraged.Canva Photos

In another school, children were asked to share the pros and cons of slavery, including giving at least three "good" reasons for it. In another incident, kids were asked to write fake Tweets from the perspective of slave owners, and the Tweets were printed and posted in the school's hallway with jaw-dropping hashtags like #slaveryforlife. In yet another assignment, middle school students were asked to brainstorm punishments for slaves in ancient Mesopotamia.

Some powerful parties in America don't want schools teaching the real, ugly truth of how our country was founded, and that's undeniably making this problem worse. The 1776 Commission was launched in 2020 by then-President Donald Trump and was re-commissioned again in January of 2025. It pushes for what it calls "patriotic education." You can guess what that means.

The official report is full of hemming and hawing and explaining away of the atrocities of slavery, harping on why the practice was a necessary evil.

"Many Americans labor under the illusion that slavery was somehow a uniquely American evil," the report says.

It argues that, because other countries did slavery first, that it wasn't so bad that America partook in the cruel practice. It also bends over backwards to applaud the founding fathers for half-measures and minor compromises, like George Washington freeing his own slaves shortly before his death in 1799.

The federal government doesn't control the minutiae of state curriculums, but can withhold public school funding when it's not happy about what's being taught or how the money is being used. PBS writes that over 20 states have passed laws that "restrict how history can be taught in public schools" in the last 10 years or so.

slavery, early america, united states of america, education, schools, classroom, parents, controversy, colonial america, civil war The classroom is supposed to be a safe space for all students. Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

For the school's part, the principal of Blades Elementary at the time apologized for the incident and the teacher was placed on administrative leave after expressing their remorse.

"Asking a student to participate in a simulated activity that puts a price on a person is not acceptable," Superintendent Chris Gaines said according to ABC News. "Racism of any kind, even inadvertently stemming from cultural bias, is wrong and is not who we aspire to be as a school district."

Being a teacher is hard, especially with immense pressure coming from the very top to speak of American history in only pre-approved, white-washed ways. But we've definitely got to do better than this.

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Woman with unfortunate initials warns parents to think things through before naming their kids

"When you’re deciding what to name your kids, look at what their initials are going to be."

via Canva/Photos

Woman holding her nose looking in the refrigerator.

A lot of thought goes into choosing a baby’s name. Will other kids have the same name when they start kindergarten? Is the name too dull? Is the name too original? Will the name lead to bullying? Will the name look good on a job application? Could you run for president with this name?

Popular TikToker Emily Windham, 23, from Birmingham, Alabama, is adding another question that parents should ask themselves: What will their initials be? Windham has gone viral for her video in which she reveals how disheartening it is when she has to write her initials, especially when they appear multiple times on a document. To put it simply, they are pretty yucky.

“When you’re deciding what to name your kids, look at what their initials are going to be,” she says at the beginning of her video. “Every time I have to initial a document, I have to write 'EW.' All these little initial lines just say EW EW EW EW.” The situation is frustrating for Emily because her parents considered naming her Alexia, which would have been AW, which is sweet. “That’s so cute,” she said.


@emwindham

Easy em in tha house 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

The post inspired other people with unfortunate initials to comment; some of them are much harder to live with than EW.

“Yea… mine is XL,” Xitlali wrote.

“Mine is ‘BLT’ because it was my dad’s favorite sandwich. Mom didn’t notice until it was too late I don’t even like blts,” Bryony Tally Art wrote.

“Mine is ‘PP’ elementary and middle school was a blast,” Pais wrote.

“I knew a girl in school whose name was Amy, and her initials were also AMY, and I’ll never forget because that’s so baller,” Charlie wrote.

“My son's initials are BRB,” Ashleigh wrote.

“My initials are EGG,” El-Glory wrote.

“My initials spell EMO and I think that's awesome,” Elle wrote.

“Mine is OG… now I’m getting married and it’ll be OJ. Can’t decide if I like an original gangster or Orange Juice more,” Olivia wrote.

“Mine is ME, and when I sign out on duties at work, someone goes, ‘Can someone please stop signing ME and sign your initials?’ I’m like, those are my initials,” a TokToker named Madison wrote.


@thesam_show

sorry if i talk about this problem too much but it is HAPPENING AGAIN!!

Emily’s story is similar to that of Samanta Hart, a woman who went viral on TikTok in 2023 because her name doesn’t exactly work well with modern email conventions. Clearly, her parents hadn't thought that her name would cause any trouble in the late '90s when email was a new thing. So, she made a video warning parents to think of their children’s future email addresses before selecting a name.

“My name is Samantha Hart,” the 27-year-old said. “Most companies use the email designation of first initial, last name, meaning my email would be shart.” A shart is an accidental release when one assumes they only have gas, which is not exactly how one wants to be known in professional circles. Imagine sending an email to someone at another company and their name comes up as SHart. YOu might even think that someone is pranking you.

“At every single workplace, I have received an email from HR the week before I start letting me know that my name does not exactly fit the company email structure as they would intend and [asked] would I mind if they gave me a different structure for my email,” Hart said. That's kind of the HR people to help Samantha save a bit of face when starting a new job, so the thing she's most known for, before meeting anyone, is her questionable email address.

Sadly, Hart will probably have to deal with this whenever she gets a new job. Hopefully, she enjoys doing long stretches with her employers.

This article originally appeared last year.

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A Palestinian and a Jewish stranger are showing people what a civilized conversation looks like

"I believe and I hope."

Photo by Farrinni on Unsplash

Two hands reach toward one another.

We live in challenging times, made even more divisive by social media rage. This is not to say that the rage is always uncalled for or unneeded, as there are many moments in history where even anger is righteous. But far more powerful in these times are the surprising moments of real connection, communication and understanding, like a recent exchange between a Palestinian and a Jewish stranger that shattered negative stereotypes and expectations.

I, like many, have become addicted to the algorithm, often fueled by propaganda, false narratives, and plain myopic anger. We are all, by nature, tribal ,and so many of our hearts have swelled with fear, sorrow, and an existential angst around the idea that humans simply might not be fixable.

earth, space, humans, water, peace A photo of Earth from space. Photo by NASA on Unsplash

But I've noticed lately that I'm getting a stronger dopamine rush from reading supportive and kind comments as opposed to the hate-fueled ones. I stumbled upon a post on Threads from last year just before the Jewish New Year, (Rosh Hashana) which really struck me. A man wrote:

"As a Palestinian, like many of my Jewish and Arab friends, this year has been a heavy one. Nonetheless, I believe and I hope."

"A Jewish friend once shared a verse (from the Pirkei Avot) with me that I've saved and held on to: 'The world is sustained by three things: by truth, by justice, and by peace.'"

"It has been especially poignant as a mantra all year."

"To my Jewish friends, L'Shanah Tovah. May a new year bring love, light, healing, and a sense of peace grounded in truth and justice for all."

Threads, Jewish, Palestinian, Israeli, peace A person on Threads shares a sentiment. Threads, Mohu

Having read this, I find myself constantly searching for like-minded people of all races, religions, and political affiliations who would also like to find a soft space nestled in this chaos. I scour social media sites and have found that often when you search, you find. It doesn't mean that there aren't literal and metaphorical fires burning all around us. It doesn't mean that we shouldn't stay informed and stand up for what we believe.

But, if just for a day, we could focus on these tiny victories, perhaps it's the smallest step to regaining our humanity. I happened upon a conversation last week (also on Threads) wherein a Palestinian woman made a comment about having pride in her heritage. Many nasty Islamophobic and anti-Semitic bots and trolls came out of the woodwork, but one comment stood out.

The OP wrote:

"All I said in my last post is 'I love being Palestinian' and the comments speak for themselves. We can’t love our heritage? Our culture? That’s too much for you (clown emoji)."

In response, someone wrote back:

"I’m Jewish. We probably disagree on lots, but to hell with those comments. You’re a human being deserving of respect, and to be proud of your culture and heritage."

The OP answered:

"Thank you for being rational. May we find a common middle ground one day."

This is met with:

"Hopefully in our lifetime! Don’t let the uneducated people bring you down."

flower, peace, nature, kindness, earth A purple flower surrounded by green leaves. Photo by Konrad Koller on Unsplash

A Threader pointed out, "This is one of the more mature comments I’ve seen. So much hate on these threads. Thank you for being a human being." The kindness began to multiply, with another person sharing, "That’s so true. I started a dialogue with a Jewish man and I would like to think we both learned a lot. You can’t understand how other people think and behave without respectful debates."

There are many more threads like this out there between people from every side of the proverbial chasm. They don't take away the pain and fear, but they could serve as a step in the right direction.


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The foolproof way to get people to open up without asking them any questions

Strangers may not be open to questions, but you can still get them talking.

via Canva/Photos

A woman talking with a man at a wedding.

There are times when it may be inappropriate to ask someone a question. In specific social interactions, questions may be welcome, but specific topics may be off-limits. That’s when a communications tool called "elicitation" can become your best friend. It’s a way to make statements that encourage people to discuss sensitive topics or delve deeper into a subject without making them feel like they’re being grilled.

Although you probably won’t be using this tool to interrogate criminals or get secrets out of a CEO or politician, behavior expert Chase Hughes shared how to use the technique in everyday situations. He gives the example of wanting to know how much a woman working at a Whole Foods supermarket makes, without asking her the intrusive question. You start by making a false statement, and then the other person will correct you.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

False statement elicitation

You: Excuse me, can you show me where the baby carrots are?

Employee: Sure, follow me.

You: So, I was reading an article that said Whole Foods employees got a raise to $26 an hour.

Employee: Are you kidding? I only make $18 an hour.

“So now she doesn't feel like she's been pressed or questioned about how much she makes. She's correcting you. So, triggering a need to correct the record is one of the easiest ways to use elicitation, but it's only one,” Hughes notes.


“I’ll bet you think” elicitation

Let’s say you are working in appliance sales and have been trying to sell a man a refrigerator. You’ve been working with him for 30 minutes and want to know if he’s going to buy or not. By using an “I’ll bet” statement, you can get him to admit if he’s interested or not without being pushy. The goal is to voice what they’re thinking, but you don’t need to be correct. The person will either confirm your assumption about their thoughts, add to it, or deny it.

You: I’ll bet you think this Whirlpool refrigerator is a little expensive at $1200?

Them: I’ll say it’s a little pricey, but it’s exactly what we were looking for.

Elicitation works because it bypasses the part of the human psyche that tells them to put up their guard. People also have an incredible need to feel superior and to be correct. So, they will fall over themselves to correct a false statement, as in the Whole Foods example. They will also jump at the chance to tell you whether you’ve successfully gauged their thoughts with the “I’ll bet” technique.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“I think the number one technique is the human predisposition to correct other people. Because we as humans want to be right, and when we correct other people, that elevates us above the person we're correcting,” Jack Schafer, Ph.D., a psychologist and former FBI special agent, told Robin Dreeke. “So that makes us feel good because we know more than the other person that we're talking to, so that kind of elevates us, and in order to kind of prove that we're more superior, we often give out a lot of information that perhaps we shouldn't.”

Ultimately, elicitation techniques are tools, and they can either be used for good, when you’re out trying to get a deal on a used car, or by con artists for evil. Learning about them gives us a clear advantage as it helps us recognize when we're being manipulated so we don’t take the bait and say something we’ll regret.

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