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Here's one former Army sergeant's opinion on how (and how not) to end school shootings.

Six-and-a-half years ago, a routine patrol in Afghanistan's Panjwa'i district turned into an ambush.

I can still hear my name, screamed — "Martin! MARTIN!" — as I turned and saw three members of my platoon under attack in the field behind me. We were taking fire from three enemy positions, some as close as 20 yards, the same short distance as a pitcher’s mound to home plate.

I, along with some of my fellow soldiers, returned suppressive fire. Just as the first of our men safely reached us, I was suddenly hit with what felt like Arnold Schwarzenegger swinging a sledgehammer into my leg.

This is what being shot by a high-powered assault rifle feels like.

Assisted by an extremely calm and poised sergeant, I was able to move to cover in a canal as bullets cracked and whizzed by my head and exploded in the dirt around me — another sound that I will never be able to forget. Luckily, a medic was already there to start administering aid to my bleeding wound.

There was only one problem: The medic froze.

This man, who had spent at least the last year of his life training full-time for this exact moment, could not move.

Quickly, other medics came to me and made sure I received proper medical attention. And it’s a good thing they did — the bullet had traveled through my left thigh, shredded my left hip flexor, and moved through my left butt cheek before ultimately stopping halfway in the right one. Big picture: The bullet missed my colon and spine by half an inch and traveled over a foot inside my body. Without the other medics’ care, I may not have survived.

When I heard the news of the Parkland school shooting, I couldn’t help but think of how those students experiences resembled the firefights I had been involved in.

The fear and chaos that the students of Marjory Stoneman Douglas faced is no different than what my fellow soldiers and I faced in Afghanistan.

It’s a fear that I still remember as though it were yesterday, the same fear that caused that Army medic to freeze. And it’s the same fear and chaos that every teacher and student will face when confronted with an active shooter, so long as these tragedies continue to happen.

After the Parkland shooting, debate flows freely on how to prevent these tragedies, with many legislators proposing a program that would allow teachers to enroll in training to carry a weapon on school grounds.

The theory goes like this: In the event of a school shooting, trained, armed adults on the premises would retaliate and, in theory, neutralize the shooter before damage could be done.

But as someone who has seen my fair share of close-range combat, let me tell you: It doesn’t work like that.

Regardless of training, you don’t know how people will respond in life-and-death situations until the moment it happens.

You don’t know how people will react when they hear gunshots. Even an Army medic, a person whose full-time job is to prepare for such a situation, might freeze. And now we’re expecting teachers — after being given the most of basic trainings — to handle that same situation perfectly. (I say “perfectly” because anything less could mean even more tragedy and death.)

It’s not realistic.

This isn’t a movie where the bullets always miss the hero. These teachers aren’t action stars.

These are average people who, more likely than not, have never come close to experiencing anything like the chaos and pressure of trying to protect themselves and others under active gunfire.

Members of the military and police spend hours, days, and weeks at a time training with their weapons. They train on close-quarter tactics with partners, teams, squads, and platoons. They practice methodically, over and over and over, for the length of their entire careers.

We’re talking about individuals who are specifically trained to respond to these situations — and even they sometimes get it wrong.

The margin for error in combat is razor thin. Even with the best of intentions, a teacher with a gun can not only fail to protect their students, but they can create a tragedy of their own.

What if, during the chaos of an active shooter situation, a teacher shoots an innocent student? What if the teacher is shot, which is likely (according to the FBI, police officers who engage an active shooter are wounded or killed in 46.7% of incidents)? What if, on a regular day, a teacher goes to break up a fight in the hallway and the firearm accidentally discharges?

The potential collateral damage isn’t worth it. There are just too many negative outcomes, all of which are far more likely than the slim chance that a civilian is able to stop an active shooter threat.

My point is not to undermine the bravery of our teachers, but to be realistic about what that bravery can do.

Our country has seen example after example of teachers and students shielding others from gunfire. “Heroic” doesn’t begin to fully explain the bravery of the person behind those actions. But even the most heroic individual, without proper and consistent tactical training, can cause even more catastrophe when armed with such a deadly weapon.

Politicians who are blasé about the complexity and rigorous training required for these types of engagements and who underestimate the physical, physiological and psychological toll a combat environment brings to those involved should be forced to place themselves in these types of simulations. Then, they might understand that arming just anyone with a gun can be much more dangerous and costly than anticipated.

Ultimately, I’m saddened by the fact that we’ve reached a point where people in this country want teachers to arm themselves like moonlight deputies. Undeniably, gun violence is a complex problem we all want to solve, one for which I don’t have all the answers.

But I’m confident that arming teachers isn’t part of it — now or ever.

This story was originally published by Charlotte Five and is reprinted here with permission.

Animals & Wildlife

6th grader's science experiment answers, 'Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?'

A question no one knew they needed answered.

Photo courtesy of Kerry Hyde

Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on? Science answers.

Cat owners sometimes have unique questions that even Google doesn't always have the answer to. This is probably the sole reason cat forums exist, but one kid who needed a 6th grade science project decided to skip the cat forums for answers and instead use the scientific method. Kaeden Henry, a sixth grader living in Florida, bravely pondered a question few (if any one) has been brave enough to ask: do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?

Since cats do whatever the heck they want, training them not to jump on kitchen counters is a feat even Hercules struggles to complete. These fierce felines don't care if you're cooking dinner or trying to get comfy in bed. If they want to sit somewhere, they're going to do it. The thought of cat butts on that expensive Serta pillow designed to feel like you're sleeping on a cloud can gross people out, but thanks to Kaeden, you no longer have to wonder if the butthole itself is also making contact.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

The curious sixth grader is homeschooled and well-versed in the scientific method thanks to her mother's PhD in animal behavior with a concentration in feline behavior. And, since they own cats, the science experiment was pretty straightforward (and directly impactful).

To complete the experiment, Henry and his mom, Kerry Hyde, bought non-toxic lipstick and applied it to each of their cat's anuses. Then, the cats were given commands.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

"Non-toxic lipstick was applied to their bum-bums, they were then given a series of commands (sit, wait, lie down, and jump up. Side note: Both cats have been trained since kittenhood with a variety of commands, they also know how to high-five, spin around, and speak.), they were compensated with lots of praise, pets, and their favorite treats, and the lipstick was removed with a baby wipe once we collected our data in just under 10 minutes," Hyde wrote in a Facebook post.

The results? Turns out that, no, cat buttholes do not touch every surface cats sit on. Now, let's all take a collective sigh of relief while we go over the details. Kaeden's experiment covered long-haired, short-haired, and medium-haired cats (if your cat is hairless, you better stock up on Clorox wipes just in case).

"His results and general findings: Long and medium haired cat’s buttholes made NO contact with soft or hard surfaces at all. Short haired cats made NO contact on hard surfaces. But we did see evidence of a slight smear on the soft bedding surface. Conclusion, if you have a short haired cat and they may be lying on a pile of laundry, an unmade bed, or other soft uneven surface, then their butthole MAY touch those surfaces!" Hyde shares.

Now every curious cat owner can rest easy knowing that as long as their cat has hair, their bare bottom balloon knot is not touching the majority of surfaces in their home.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

The amusing experiment caught the Internet's attention. People laughed and commented, with one person writing, "This is probably the most useful information I’ve learned from a science fair project."

"Good to know!...I can now eat my sandwich left on the counter with confidence!" another writes.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

"A+++!!! Whew!! I am very grateful for your sciencing on this subject. My fears from walking in on my cat sitting on my laptop keyboard and subsequently being grossed out and cleaning furiously in a hyper-ocd manner have been somewhat allayed and now maybe I won’t have to use QUIIITE so many wipes." someone chimes in.

"Finally.. Someone answers the important questions!!"

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Joy

Hero dog rescues missing 2-year-old who had wandered 7 miles from home in Arizona wilderness

Search teams had been looking for over 16 hours, to no avail.

Photo credit: Canva

A hero dog saves a toddler who had been lost for 16 hours.

Dogs are man’s best friend, and a toddler’s best hero.

In a truly anxiety-inducing story, a valiant ranch dog named Buford made headlines after finding a missing toddler who had wandered seven miles away from his home in the rural Arizona wilderness.

Seven. Miles. Can you imagine?

On the night of April 14, Yavapai County Sheriff's Office shared a report of a missing two-year-old named Boden Allen, who had walked away from his home in the small town of Seligman, Arizona—wearing only his pajamas.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The thought of a toddler making his way alone through rocky desert terrain is already terrifying, but to make matters even more harrowing, the surrounding area had at least two mountain lion sightings that night.

Though a massive search party of nearly 40 search and rescue workers and officers had been initiated immediately, their efforts were to no avail, and by hour 16, things felt very dire.

As reported by NPR, hope was all but lost until Buford, a “kid loving” Anatolian Pyrenees discovered the little boy, who had likely followed a power line down from his house and into a ranch owned by Buford’s human, Scotty Dunton. The poor little fella had been sleeping under a tree!

buford dog rescue, dog rescues toddler, lost toddler, hero dog, dog stories, feel good stories, positive news, local news, arizona newsA photo of an Anatolian Pyreneesdogtime.com

Buford brought little Boden back to safety, and while he was understandably distraught, he was able to tell Dunton a bit of his plight after receiving some food and water. And aside from a few cuts and scrapes, he was in good health. He is now safe and sound with his very relieved family.

"I'd heard about the missing child before I was going to town, and when I was driving out the driveway I noticed my dog was sitting down by the entrance. And I look up, and the little kid's standing there with my dog,” Dunton said in an interview with the sheriff's office.

As for Buford, the gifts keep a’ comin’ for this goodest of good boys. He became an honorary member of the Yavapai County Search and Rescue Team—even got himself a nifty vest—and Dunton told NBC News that they’ve received “Toys, chew toys, snacks, you name it, just a little bit of everything” from folks around the world thanking Buford for his heroic feat.

Thank goodness this story had a happy ending, but it truly took a miraculous chain of events to turn out that way. So here’s a reminder to do a little preventive maintenance–childproofing doors and windows, adding alarms, having a little safety meeting with the kiddos, etc. On the bright side, this is also a lovely reminder about how our communities, both the human and furry members, can show up for us when we need it most.

As Corey Allen, Bodin's father, said, “It’s a story of faith."

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CEO shares 5 things he's 'sick' of hearing from his staff and people are applauding him for it

"People are sick of being treated like children."

via Rob Dance (used with permission).

CEO Rob Dance holds a list of things he's "sick" of hearing from his employees.

Since the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted workplaces worldwide, there has been a greater push for improved work-life balance and many companies are taking notice. The exciting thing is that when companies become more flexible, their employees become happier and more productive. It’s a win-win for all involved.

Rob Dance, the CEO of ROCK, a technology consulting company in the UK, recently went viral for posting about his approach to work-life balance on Instagram. What, at first, appeared to be a CEO reprimanding his employees revealed a boss who knows how to get the best out of his team by treating them like adults.

The post was of Dance holding a whiteboard that reads:

Things I’m sick of hearing from my employees:

- Can I leave early today

- I’ll be late in the morning

- My child is sick, can I rush off

- I’ve got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, is that okay

- I’m going to be late back from lunch, I’ve got some things to sort.

I don’t care.

I hired you for a job and I fully TRUST you to get it done.

I don’t need you to account for every single hour.

Times have changed, and the workplace is different these days.

People are sick of being treated like children.

All that should matter is that everyone is happy, and that the work gets done.


He also shared his advice for companies on how to treat their employees. “Treat your staff like adults. That’s it, that’s the big secret,” he wrote. “Give them autonomy. Respect that they have lives outside of work. Don’t gaslight them into being grateful for not being fired every day.” Because in the end, the only thing that matters is if they get the job done. “Output should always trump hours,” he concluded.

Upworthy contacted Dance, who explained why managers still hesitate to treat their employees like adults.

“Many bosses don't trust their employees and keep extremely close tabs on them because of past experiences and a desire for control. They might believe that micromanaging ensures productivity and prevents issues,” he told Upworthy. “Additionally, the pressure to meet business targets can drive bosses to monitor employees obsessively, thinking it will lead to better outcomes. This approach, however, only undermines trust and destroys morale in the workplace. It creates a toxic environment where employees feel undervalued and stressed, leading to higher turnover rates and decreased overall performance. Instead of fostering a culture of accountability and growth, this behavior only promotes fear and resentment.”


Dance says that technology has helped drive demand for improved work-life balance.

“Mobile technology definitely started to blur the lines between one’s professional and personal life, making it tough to switch off from work,” he told Upworthy. “As a millennial leader, I've always valued work-life harmony for my staff, helping them to achieve both flexibility and finding purpose in their work.”

The ROCK CEO also has advice for employees who’d like to gain their employer’s trust.

“Always deliver quality work and aim to meet or exceed expectations. Keep communication lines open by regularly updating your manager on your progress, challenges, and successes,” he told Upworthy. “Take the initiative to go beyond basic requirements, showing your willingness to contribute more. Act with integrity by always being honest and ethical. Seek honest feedback and make tangible improvements based on it, demonstrating your commitment to growth. Finally, a big one is building positive relationships with everyone you work with, as strong connections are what help to build real trust.”

In April 2025, Dance shared some additional wisdom that highlights the power of leaders prioritizing culture. He took a photo of himself holding a whiteboard with some more wisdom that all CEOs should take to heart: "An employee who leaves for the salary might return for the culture, but if they leave because of the culture, no salary will ever bring them back."

It makes you wonder, if the money was right, which previous jobs would you go back to, and which ones would you reject?


rob dance, work-life balance, ROCK UK, bosess, pto, time off, employee complaintsCEO Rob Dance holds up a whipe board with his culture philosophy. www.linkedin.com


This article originally appeared last year.

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A guy planted two potatoes in an Amazon shipping box to prove a point. Mission accomplished.

You should see how many potatoes he got out of this experiment.

The Gardening Channel with James Prigioni/YouTube

Can you grow vegetables in a cardboard box?

In the era of supermarkets and wholesale clubs, growing your own food isn't a necessity for most Americans. But that doesn't mean it's not a good idea to try.

A household garden can be a great way to reduce your grocery bill and increase your intake of nutrient-dense foods. It can also be a good source of exercise and a hobby that gets you outside in the sunshine and fresh air more often. However, not everyone has a yard where they can grow a garden or much outdoor space at all where they live. You can plant things in containers, but that requires some upfront investment in planters.

container garden, growing plants in containers, growing vegetables, homegrown, producePotted plants and herbs can thrive in a container garden.Photo credit: Canva

Or does it? Gardener James Prigioni set out to see if an Amazon shipping box would hold up as a planter for potatoes. He took a basic single-walled Amazon box, lined it with dried leaves to help with moisture retention, added four to five inches of soil (his own homegrown soil he makes), added three dark red seed potatoes, covered them with more soil, added a fertilizer, then watered them.

He also planted a second, smaller Amazon box with two white seed potatoes, following the same steps.

Two weeks later, he had potato plants growing out of the soil. Ten days after that, the boxes were filled with lush plants.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Prigioni explained how to "hill" potato plants when they grow tall enough, which helps encourage more tuber growth and protect the growing potatoes from sunlight. Hilling also helps support the plants as they grow taller so they don't flop over. He also added some mulch to help keep the plants cooler as the summer grew hotter.

After hilling, Prigioni only needed to keep up with watering. Both varieties of potatoes flowered, which let him know the tubers were forming. The red potato leaves developed some pest issues, but not bad enough to need intervention, while the white potato plants were unaffected. "It goes to show how variety selection can make a big difference in the garden," he explained.

The visible plants have to start dying before you harvest potatoes, and Prigioni checked in with the boxes themselves when they got to that point.

vegetable garden, growing potatoes, grow potatoes in a cardboard box, Amazon box, farmingFreshly harvested potatoes are so satisfying.Photo credit: Canva

"I am pleasantly surprised with how well the boxes held up," he said, especially for being single-walled boxes. The smaller box was completely intact, while the larger box had begun to split in one corner but not enough to affect the plants' growth. "This thing was completely free to grow in, so you can't beat that," he pointed out.

Prigioni predicted that the red potatoes grown in the larger box would be more productive. As he cut open the box and pulled potatoes from the larger box, they just kept coming, ultimately yielding several dozen potatoes of various sizes. The smaller box did have a smaller yield, but still impressive just from two potatoes planted in an Amazon box.

People often think they don't have room to grow their own food, which is why Prigioni put these potato boxes on his patio. "A lot of people have an area like this," he said.

"I will never look at cardboard boxes the same," Prigioni added. "There are so many uses for them in the garden and it's just a great free resource we have around, especially if you're ordering stuff from Amazon all the time."

cardboard box, container garden, amazon box, growing vegetables, gardeningDo you see a box or do you see a planter?Photo credit: Canva

People loved watching Prigioni's experiment and shared their own joy—and success—in growing potatoes in a similar fashion:

"I have been growing potatoes in every box I can find for several years now. I have had excellent success. I honestly think potatoes prefer cardboard. And yes, most of my boxes were from Amazon."

"I live in an upstairs apartment with a little deck and I have a container garden with containers on every single stair leading to the deck. I grow potatoes in a laundry basket. It's amazing how much food I can get from this type of garden!! Grateful."

"I literally got up and grabbed the empty boxes by our front door, the potatoes that have started to sprout, and soil i had inside and started my planting at 1am. Lol. I will take them outside today and finish. Thank you James!"

"I grew potatoes and tomatoes on my tiny balcony in Germany (in buckets and cardboard boxes). Now I have a big garden here in America. I so love to grow my own food."

"I grew sweet potatoes in cardboard boxes. It’s so much fun."

Next time you're stuck with an Amazon box that you don't have a use for, consider whether you could use it as a planter for potatoes or some other edible harvest. Gardening doesn't have to be fancy to be effective.

You can find more of gardening experiments on The Gardening Channel with James Prigioni.

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Joy

25 ways parents have proven that simple acts of love speak volumes for kids

No grand gestures here. Just pure love.

Photo credit: Canva

Two parents kissing their child.

Parenting isn’t about crafting Instagram-worthy lunches, throwing extravagant birthday parties, or any other grandiose gestures. Sure, it can contain some of those things, but in truth, it’s about providing presence, consistency, support, healthy structure, and encouragement.

In fact, some of the best parenting moments—the ones that last with kids forever—don’t cost a dime. That’s certainly the sentiment behind one recent online conversation in which folks were asked to share simple things their parents did that “made them feel loved.”

Whether it involved physically showing up to meaningful events, infusing joy into the mundane, offering a shoulder to cry on, or setting a positive example, the moving stories all show that love manifests itself in various ways.

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesmedia1.giphy.com

We all know that kids need stability. So, it’s no wonder that for many folks in the thread, physically showing up to things both big and small held the most weight.

“Either one of my parents tucked me into bed every single night and told me they love me, until I was a teen. Meant the world to me now I think back. Will definitely be doing this when my little one goes into his own room.”

“My dad showed up to everything. Every. Single. Thing. Spelling bee, Girl Scouts, cheerleading. When my cheer games overlapped with Buckeye games, he brought his Walkman to listen to the game while he watched me cheer. He did the Girl Scout camp outs with us. I’m 33 and I know that if I called him right this second to say I needed him, he’d be here immediately.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesA dad holding up their kid at a soccer gamePhoto credit: Canva

“My dad was a very early riser and every Saturday morning he’d go to the grocery store just to get me a maple frosted donut so it would be there when I woke up.”

“My mom was at EVERY game, recital, musical, or other event I was a part of. She volunteered in our classrooms at school, on field trips, or behind the scenes in the productions I was in. She was always working too, but she did everything she could to be there for my extracurriculars and that meant so much.”

Quite a few also recalled how their parents were able to take ordinary things—movie nights, yummy meals, reading stories—and make them feel magical and meaningful.

“We had movie nights on Fridays. We were pretty poor but every Friday, we’d go to little Cesar’s down the road and get a $5 pizza. Then we’d go to the dollar store and get to pick out our favorite $1 candy. We’d go home, watch the movie with our pizza and candy, and then have a camp out in the living room. My brothers and I would fight over who got the couch and who got the hand-me-down recliners haha. We’d also drag out all of our mattresses and sleep in the living room on Christmas Eve. My dad made sure to read us a story every night for years. We’d ride our bikes to the library on Saturday afternoons if he wasn’t working and pick our bedtime stories for the week.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesFamily movie night.Photo credit: Canva

“When one of us had a special achievement, we got to use the red plate. We also got to choose what we wanted to eat for dinner that night. It was used for birthdays, awards, reaching goals.. all kinds of stuff. It was a small thing, but also a cool way to celebrate each other’s wins. If you google “the red plate” you can see what a red plate looks like.”

“Ever since I could remember, my dad told me beautiful bedtime stories where I was the main character, and he prompted me to add to the story, keeping things interesting. It helped build our communication and grow my imagination.

“Spaghetti was ready to serve with table set, right as I got home from track practice. The sunsetting rays would come through the windows and I could see the steam coming off food, table set beautifully. This was such a treat as a young teenager, I can replay this scene in my head clear as day. The feeling of emptiness being filled with that warm homemade, healthy meal – yeah, that’s love.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesA family enjoying spaghettiPhoto credit: Canva

“I was raised by my grandparents so they were limited in terms of mobility. However my Gma would always throw such fun birthday parties for me. She’d call the parents of the kids I wanted over, schedule having them meet with her & then on my bday they’d arrive & we’d go to a movie, then Chuck E. cheese, then a sleepover with her homemade cake & staying up as late as we wanted. I can’t wait to be this sort of home when my girls start school 🌟.”

“My parents were able to take me on vacations to most of the national parks near us (we were located in the Midwest). These were NOT fancy trips, we had a cheap pull behind style camper and all food was made on the road (sandwiches, soup, hot dogs etc.) Both my parents were very frugal and we spent very little, but I have the most amazing love and appreciation for nature now.”

“Saturday night treats – every Saturday we’d watch Saturday night tv together as a family, with duvets, lots of snacks like sweets/candy, popcorn, etc, and we could stay up later than usual. It was a fun way to spend quality time together as a family.”

“My mum would read stories to us at night in dim lamp light before bedtime. It was years before I realized she was making up stories as she was reading from a child dictionary. She would also bring us to the library. I felt good because of the effort she put. It also got me into reading. She also made crafts – sat at a low table with us and painted clay objects she made for our dolls. I appreciated the time she spent on this.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesA mom reading a bedtime storyPhoto credit: Canva

There were also many fond memories of parents who found simple ways to make their kids feel seen, valued, and celebrated, whether it be through sweet notes, special personal days, or just using their name in unique ways. And for what it’s worth, these acts of love didn’t only happen in childhood either.

“My mom pulled us out of school one day a year to have a special day with her. She took us out to lunch wherever we wanted to go and then did whatever we wanted to do. Usually i wanted to go shopping and made her wait til after my birthday to have my day because i got birthday money from relatives and i wanted to spend it.”

“My mom would leave sweet notes in our lunches. Not every day but I remember oftentimes getting ‘Happy Friday!’ or ‘Good luck on your game today!’ type of notes. I’m tearing up just thinking about it.”

“My dad would take us out to the local airport and we'd have a picnic in the grass just outside the fence and watch the planes take off. He'd tell us what kind they were and stories about them.”

“One simple thing was whenever my dad ordered food, like from a fast food restaurant, he would always give them my name for the order. I felt so special and grown up to have my name called for the food.”

“My husband and I separated for a little while, three months, and the first two weeks were the hardest. I was so emotional, didn’t eat for a week straight, kept crying, didn’t wanna get out of bed, read constantly just to escape… I was 28.. and my dad bought me little chocolate cake with my name on it just cause he knew I love chocolate cake and he thought it would make me happy 💚🥺.”

Having parents who were emotionally available, could take accountability for their mistakes, and made necessary changes in order to strengthen the bonds to the kids, seemed to make a lasting impact.

“Honestly as an adult, my mom went to therapy when I asked her to. She made significant growth over the last few ways and it’s allowed us to repair and deepen our relationship in a way I would have never imagined. It shows so much love and effort that at 60 she has learned how to take accountability and change how she treats us. It is my ongoing goal to always be willing to apologize to/listen to my kids.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesA woman in therapyPhoto credit: Canva

“My dad was never afraid to apologize. When I was about 8, I remember getting Big Red all over his car because I was pouring it out the window and watching it fly. I didn’t realize it was getting all over the car (and probably other cars). We had just left the car wash. When we got home he freaked out and yelled and screamed. I got the car wash stuff out of the garage and just sat and cried for a bit. Then he came out and sat with me and said that dad’s mess up too sometimes. He said he understood I was just being curious and did not mean it and he wished he had explained his frustration in a calmer way. He hugged me and helped me wash the car again. I remember that he said mean things, but not what he said before the apology. I remember just about every word of that apology though. I think that one sticks out because that was the maddest he had been at me up to that point…maybe ever. There were a few other stand out ones, some were even funny, but he always used them as a time to reconnect and really make sure we knew he loved us and respected us.”

“As I was falling asleep, my mom would get up to leave and I’d reach out the her… she always quietly sat back down and continued waiting. It made me feel loved and safe. She died when I was young. Just knowing she always chose me was a gift. She also was always the first person to tell me happy birthday first thing in the morning before anyone else.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesA mother watching her child sleepPhoto credit: Canva

“My granny would always feed me unprompted. I would be relaxing watching TV and here she came with fresh cut fruit or a glass of sweet tea. It felt good knowing she was thinking of me. She also would always say “Penny for your thoughts” and I always felt open to sharing with her.. I miss her so much nobody ever loved me like Geneva.”

Lastly, many stories of great parenting involved providing a safe space for their kids. Not only protection from physical harm, but an emotional sanctuary as well.

“I was bullied a lot as a kid and as I got older my dad adjusted his work schedule so he could come home early every day and spend time with me after school. He even rejected a promotion knowing it would mean less family time. We’d go to the dollar movie night, take the dog to the park, or he’d get me an Oreo milkshake and a used CD for $6. The ;things' didn’t matter, but the conversation and support did. He made me feel like someone actually enjoyed spending time with me or wanted to hear my opinions and interests when I was most alone. A lot of experts say parents shouldn’t be friends with their kids, but honestly he was the only friend I had for years and I probably wouldn’t be alive today if he hadn’t shown that kind of interest.”

parents, parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, childhood, nostalgia, modern parenting, parenting resourcesA father holding his daughterPhoto credit: Canva

“When I started driving and borrowing my mom’s car to go to parties, she told me, 'If you ever can’t drive for any reason, including drinking, call me; I don’t care how late it is. I won’t give you a hard time when I come get you, and we can talk about whatever it is later. But I’d much rather you be safe and alive than feel like you have to hide something from me and do something dangerous.' I actually never ended up needing the offer, but I definitely felt much safer knowing I had an ace in my pocket.”

“One that sticks with me was my dad saying this to me over the years: 'No matter where you are or what happens, if you need me, call me and nothing will keep me away.' He kept his promise till the day he died, and I miss him every day. My mum is awesome too, she was genuinely my best friend growing up, she was always up for a game or a story, I’ve been really lucky.”

“My dad would just hug me while I fell apart & cried. He did it until I’d stop. Happy to do the same with my kiddos.”

Next time you’re wondering if you’re doing enough as a parent, let this be a reminder that love is powerful, now matter how you show it.

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