My family of 5 traveled the U.S. for nearly a year, and it cost us less than staying home

It’s amazing what a little creativity and willingness to step outside the box can do.

family of five on a boat
We made countless memories during our slow travel year.Photo credit: Photo courtesy of Annie Reneau

Whenever people share money-saving life hacks like living on a cruise ship or exploring the country via the #vanlife, I see comments like, “That might work for a single person or a couple, but what if you have kids?”

When our kids were 12, 8 and 4, we packed up all of our earthly belongings and spent a year living around the U.S. And no, we didn’t live in a van or RV. (Nothing wrong with that life, it just wasn’t for us.) We traveled from coast to coast, seeing and experiencing the vast array of gorgeous landscapes and fascinating sites America has to offer, and the best part is we did it for less than what we would have spent staying home.

Was it easy to plan and execute? Not exactly. But was it worth it? Absolutely, hands down, 100%.

Here’s how we did it and what we learned.


How the ‘nomadic life’ idea came about

We were renting a beautiful house in the Chicago suburbs when the owner decided she wanted to sell it. We couldn’t afford to buy it, so we had no choice but to move. My husband and I both worked from home and homeschooled our kids (pre-pandemic—that scenario is much more common now), so we were really free to live anywhere.

A friend of mine had been telling me about an extremely affordable house they’d rented in the Outer Banks in the fall while waiting for their permanent home to get finished. I had no idea tourist hot spots were so cheap off-peak, but once I started looking into it, I was gobsmacked.

Seriously, in major tourist areas like Cape Cod and Myrtle Beach, houses rent for upwards of 90% less than their peak summer prices from fall through spring. Owners don’t want their homes to sit empty and are willing to rent them for dirt cheap.

As I started researching more, I found that the nightly cost of most vacation rentals is a lot cheaper when you rent for an entire month (though not as cheap as those East Coast off-season rentals). And since vacation rentals generally include utilities, they are even cheaper when comparing them to regular housing costs.

So I posed the question: What if we moved out of our house and just…didn’t move into another house? What if, instead of paying rent or a mortgage, we put our stuff into storage, packed what we wanted to have with us in our car and rented vacation rentals a month or so at a time? We could work and school from anywhere. But could we really make that work?

I started sketching out scenarios and crunching numbers.

kids in car
Our kids got used to monthly long car rides. They were not always this happy about it. Photo by Annie Reneau

How we worked it out financially

We were paying $1,800/month for rent for our house in the burbs, plus $200 to $300 dollars in utilities. That was the top of what we could afford, so we needed to keep monthly housing costs below that.

A storage unit for all of our furniture and belongings was just under $200/month. We figured that was a little less than what we paid monthly in utilities, so we’d just consider the storage unit cost as our utilities equivalent. That meant we needed to keep our vacation rental rent at $1,800/mo or below to keep our same cost of living.

What about gasoline costs, though? Driving around the country means a lot of gas money. And what about hotels and food?

Since we wouldn’t be living in one spot, we’d put a pause on the kids’ lessons and activities we normally would pay for (violin lessons, gymnastics, etc.). I figured what we saved in kids’ activities would certainly cover gas costs, especially if we were only making a long drive around once a month. (We also figured that what the kids learned from a year of travel would be just as valuable as whatever they’d be missing in regular activities, so weren’t worried about the disruption.)

girl with lorikeet, dolphin jumping
Our future zoologist got plenty of animal encounters both in zoos and in the wild during our travels. Photos by Annie Reneau

For overnight stops along the way, we’d try to plan routes that had people we knew and could stay a night with. Otherwise, we’d use Priceline for hotels. (If I were to do it again, I would use the points/miles travel hacking hobby I started last year for free hotel stays, but Priceline got us some good deals.)

We’d be living in fully-equipped homes, so we’d just cook like we normally do. We had a museum pass as homeschoolers that got us into all kinds of places around the country for free, and we’re really good at finding free or cheap things to do anyway. So as long as we kept the monthly rent at or below $1,800 on average for the year, we’d basically come out even money-wise.

map with route highlighted
We kept an old-school road atlas in the car and highlighted our route as we drove. Photo by Annie Reneau

How we planned where to go and what each place cost

We had a few “anchors” to guide our route as we planned. We had to leave when our lease was up at the end of April. We wanted to visit friends and family in California, we had a week-long family camp in Washington State in July, my husband had to be back in Chicago in August for a work thing, and we wanted to spend a chunk of the off-season on the East Coast. We worked backward from there.

We looked at rentals through Airbnb and VRBO and quickly found that everywhere is expensive in the summer. However, May is off-peak in Southern California (despite the gorgeous weather), and June is off-peak on the Oregon Coast (because of late school schedules and hit-or-miss weather), so we decided to start in California and make our way up the coast.

For May, we got a 2-bedroom condo right across the street from a beach in Dana Point, California, for $2,400.

For June, we rented a 3-bedroom house a block from the beach in Pacific Beach, Oregon, for $1,800.

mount rainier
View of Mt. Rainier from Crystal Mountain Photo by Annie Reneau

By far, the most expensive place we stayed the whole trip was a not-terribly-impressive 2-bedroom condo in Seattle for three weeks in July (after our family camp) for $2,700. (Pretty much everywhere in the nation is ridiculously pricey in July. No getting around it.) So we were over our monthly budget to start off with, but that was okay because we knew we’d make it up the rest of the year.

In August, we stayed with my husband’s parents in Chicago, so we had one essentially rent-free month.

September took us to a large 4-bedroom home in a quaint little Lake Michigan beach town—South Haven, Michigan—which had the softest sand I’ve ever felt. Our rent there was $1,300.

cape cod house in the snow
Our son playing in the snow outside our temporary Cape Cod home. Photo by Annie Reneau

October through January we stayed in Barnstable, Massachusetts—a beautiful Cape Cod town—in what was our best deal of the whole trip—a stunningly idyllic 2,000 sq ft, 4-bedroom, 2-bath home for $1,500 a month. (Again, utilities included.) This house rented for $3,500 a week during the summer. Seriously, the off-season on the East Coast is bonkers.

February took us to Orlando, Florida, where we stayed in a 3-bedroom condo minutes from the big theme parks for $1,200 for the month.

We used some actual vacation time and money we’d stashed away selling off items before putting our stuff into storage and lived it up at Disney World and Universal Orlando during this month. Because our housing was covered and we had our own car and we could bring our own food, all we had to pay for were the park tickets. And because we weren’t on a time crunch we could take advantage of far more days at the parks. (Park tickets get cheaper each day you add on, and become ridiculously cheap per person per day once you get past four or five days.) February is a perfect time to go to the parks if you wants pleasant temps and no crowds.

kids smiling
Kids watching Disney World fireworks. Disney magic is real. Photo by Annie Reneau

By March we were tired. We had decided before Florida to take a break from traveling and spend time my husband’s sister’s family who were visiting Chicago from overseas in March. That turned out to be a wise decision, as a family emergency arose the week we got back that necessitated us staying in Chicago for a few months. So we officially ended our nomadic travels two months shy of a year.

So how did we fare financially? Adding up all the rent we paid and dividing it by 10 months came to $1,540/month, well under budget. Even if we don’t count the month we stayed at my husband’s parents for free, we still came in under budget at just over $1,700/month.

car packed for a trip
Our Honda Pilot packed with everything we took with us around the country. Photo by Annie Reneau

What kinda sucked about our nomadic life

I’d say 95% of our nomadic experience was positive, and it actually went far more smoothly than I thought it might. But there were some downsides, of course.

For one, having to pack and unpack the car every month got a bit old. We each had our own bin of clothing and personal belongings, and we had a school bin and a kitchen bin. It worked well, but it was still a lot to manage.

The kids missed having their friends around, of course, and so did we. We managed to meet people almost everywhere we went, but it’s not the same as being with your own community of people. We missed having a home and a sense of steadiness. It was fabulous for a while, but not something we wanted to experience forever.

And as the person who did all the research and planning for our Big, Slow Trip Around the Country, there were times I wanted to pull my hair out trying to get it all timed out just right. I’m still not quite sure how I did it, to be honest, but it all worked out beautifully. I do know it took a lot of time and effort.

Totally worth it, though.

girl on beach at sunset
Sunset beachcombing at low tide on Cape Cod Photo by Annie Reneau

What was awesome about the nomadic life

First of all, the forced paring down of our belongings before putting stuff in storage was wonderful. We all have too much stuff, and having to decide what was worth paying to store was a useful exercise in and of itself.

As far as nomad life itself goes, the affordability of living/traveling in this way blew my mind. I would never have guessed we could slow travel for the same or less than the cost of staying home.

The kids had experiences we never would have been able to give them if we had tried to go all of these places just on vacations. We not only saw dozens of sunsets at the beach, but we saw firsthand the way the tides change throughout the month. We got to hike through incredible scenery at our own leisure, not trying to cram in as much as we could into a short vacation. We lived in small towns and big cities, enjoyed palm trees and pine trees and learned about all manner of wildlife.

And the learning! We studied colonial America and visited all the historical sites of the Revolutionary War during our stay in Massachusetts—a fascinating treat for my husband and I who were both born and raised on the West Coast. We stood on the North Bridge where “the shot heard round the world” was fired, which is the same bridge Henry David Thoreau and Louisa May Alcott would take boat rides under, which is within eyeshot of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s family home, which Nathaniel Hawthorne also live in for a while. History hits differently when you can see where it actually happened.

two kids on the oregon coast
Oregon Coast beaches are like glass. Photo by Annie Reneau

We formed lifelong memories together as a family and met interesting people everywhere we went. While watching dolphins play in the surf at Dana Point, I connected with a mother who had lost her son in a surfing accident. On Cape Cod, I met a fellow homeschool mom whose husband worked as the caretaker for a very famous family’s private island, and we got to go spend a day there. We also got to stay the night with friends around the country while we made our way from one place to another, and friends and family came to visit us in almost every place we stayed as well, so we didn’t get too lonely.

It was also a surprisingly simple life, despite the complexities of planning it. We had what we could fit in our car and that was it. We didn’t have to worry about yard work or home maintenance or decorating or anything like that. We got to live in homes that had everything ready for us, so other than just basic laundry and cleaning up after ourselves, there wasn’t anything else to think about. We could just enjoy where we were while we were there.

But perhaps most importantly, we proved to ourselves and our kids that it’s okay to step outside of the norm, that life doesn’t have to look a certain way, and that with a little creativity, you can live a unique and extraordinary life if you want to, even if it’s just for a while.

  • A dad said he takes his young daughter to the women’s restroom. Then women chimed in.
    A dad sparked a huge response when he asked other parents which restroom they take their kids into.Photo credit: Alex Vigilante/Instagram
    ,

    A dad said he takes his young daughter to the women’s restroom. Then women chimed in.

    “I would rather feel awkward or uncomfortable than having my daughter feel uncomfortable.”

    It’s one of the all-time classic “girl dad” problems: you’re out with your young daughter and she needs to “go potty.” Do you take her into the men’s room or the women’s room?

    Most guys would go to the men’s room without a second thought. But one dad has people wondering if there might be a better way.

    Alex Vigilante coaches high-achieving men to “live a more aligned life, be more present, [and be] more whole.” He also shares content about fatherhood and his own life as a dad.

    Question goes viral

    Recently, Vigilante posed a question to fellow girl dads on Instagram: “When you’re out in public and your daughter has to go to the bathroom, which restroom do you take her to if there’s not a gender-neutral restroom?”

    He took his viewers by surprise with his answer: “Today, I took her into the women’s restroom. … I think that is the better route than taking her to the male restroom.”

    In the caption to his post, Vigilante outlined his reasoning. One point in particular was especially thought-provoking.

    “I would rather feel awkward or uncomfortable than having my daughter feel uncomfortable,” he wrote, adding that he didn’t feel it was appropriate to have his young daughter around grown men using the facilities. Vigilante also noted that he prefers to go in when no women are inside and will openly announce himself so as not to startle anyone.

    The now-viral Reel drew more than six million views, and needless to say, a passionate discussion ensued.

    Men react

    First came the dads who vehemently disagreed and said they would never set foot inside a women’s restroom, even with a toddler girl in tow.

    “Men’s restroom, respectfully. Handicap stall. Clorox wipes and Lysol travel size spray in hand. The potential for a misunderstanding isn’t one I’m willing to entertain.”

    “Imagine two or three dads in the women’s restroom…no bro, just use the dudes’ and go in the stall with her if she’s a little one, if she’s older, find a better solution. Don’t go in the girls restroom.”

    “The world doesn’t revolve around me or my daughter, & it’s not fair for an innocent adult female to walk into me in her safe place.”

    dads, fathers, parenting, girl dad, girls, kids, family, public restrooms, bathrooms, gender, debate, viral instagram
    Urinals in a men’s bathroom. Photo credit: Canva

    Women react

    Then moms and women at large began to chime in. Their collective response was surprising and heartwarming.

    Though not a monolith, of course, a majority of women who responded to Vigilante’s video were strongly in favor of dads bringing their daughters into the women’s room. Many recalled being young and feeling intimidated by the presence of grown men in the men’s room, even with their fathers there.

    “Please use the women’s restroom we really don’t mind. We were once little girls who needed protected too.”

    “As a woman I support dads bringing their daughters to the woman’s room.”

    “Absolutely! I have been in places before and if I see a man bringing his daughter towards the restroom I always offer to announce it in the bathroom and I stand at the entry door and keep everyone informed that comes in until they are finished. It takes a village!”

    “I’d rather feel a little uncomfortable and know a child is safe in the women’s restroom than have a little girl in the men’s room where there’s urinals and what not.”

    Honest discussion changed the minds of at least a few dads

    Several admitted they always “hated” bringing their daughters into the men’s room but didn’t see another way. After the warm response from moms, they were inspired to give it a try.

    “I’ve literally never considered this. Dude, thank you for bringing up. My first reaction was that I would never want to make other women afraid or uncomfortable if I was in there with my baby girl. And then I read the comments. WOW. Women are incredible. Sad that we have to even worry about this, but grateful to know my daughter has other women who freely have her back without even knowing her.”

    However, the opposing view is also valid, making this a complex issue. It could even become a legal one. While it’s not generally considered illegal for a man to enter a women’s restroom, the situation can become murky if someone feels threatened and raises a complaint.

    For his part, Vigilante said he’s never had an issue taking his daughter to the women’s room, but would happily leave if he made anyone uncomfortable.

    A better solution?

    It seems there should be a better solution by now, and fortunately, there has been incremental progress in this area.

    For starters, more men’s rooms have changing tables than in years past. This not only allows dads with babies to avoid going into the women’s room to change them, but also helps rebalance the distribution of childcare labor, which has historically been skewed toward moms.

    There’s also a push to “ditch the gap” in public restroom stalls, offering greater privacy for all.

    There’s even been a steep rise in the availability of family or gender-neutral bathrooms in public spaces, which helps everyone. In some places, they’re required by law.

    There are other solutions as well. For girls old enough to go in alone, many dads choose to stand outside the bathroom, sometimes with the door propped open so they can hear what’s going on and talk to their daughter for comfort.

    In the end, it’s an individual choice that requires dads to be mindful of others, as well as their daughter’s comfort level.

    “My daughter’s safety comes first…so I feel empowered to keep doing this,” Vigilante wrote in the comments. “I respect the opinion of parent who think otherwise, as they just want their kids to be safe as well.”

  • Millennial dad of 3 challenges boomer parents over unreasonable holiday expectations
    An upset father talks on the phone while his son looks onPhoto credit: Canva
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    Millennial dad of 3 challenges boomer parents over unreasonable holiday expectations

    “Yeah, not this time,” he said. “I think for the holidays I’m just gonna stay in and relax.”

    The holidays are supposed to be a time for enjoying special moments with family, but often they become a source of stress. Traveling, navigating familial relationships and tensions, talking politics at the dinner table, and handling the all-encompassing issue of “presents” can wear down even the most patient and even-keeled person. It can be especially challenging for parents with young kids who are expected to travel long distances in the name of “family togetherness.”

    A TikTok video posted by @carrerasfam is going viral, with over 300,000 views, because so many millennial parents can relate to the frustration of grandparents having unrealistic expectations related to visiting with the kids.

    In the satirical video, a husband stages a conversation with his “practically retired” baby boomer dad, in which he explains politely but firmly that he’s not taking his 3 young kids on a 400-mile drive to their house for the holidays.

    Carerras Fam is a popular TikTok page about “all things postpartum and mamahood.” Together, the mom and dad share funny skits and slices of their life with three little ones.

    The husband opens the conversation with his dad by explaining all the inconveniences of taking 3 young kids on a long road trip. “I know you want us to drive down for the holidays, but it’s kinda ridiculous that you want me to pack my 3 kids with their portable beds with my clothes, their clothes, the formula, everything that goes on with raising 3 kids and having them feel comfortable. Drive down for over four hours just so that we could spend some time in your house?” the husband says while absurdist music plays in the background.

    Holidays, Travel, Millennials, Baby Boomers, Family Dynamics
    A family prepares for a road trip. Photo credit: Canva

    It’s obviously inconvenient for the couple to pack up their kids and drive 4 hours, but it’s also unsafe because the house is not baby-proof. “I’m gonna have to run around, make sure that they don’t break any of your stuff, and which you will ‘take care of them,’” the husband continues using sarcastic air quotes. Most parents eventually realize that visiting with the kids does not equate to getting help with them — no, it means chasing them around frantically yourself until it’s time to leave.

    The dad brings up another great point: His parents are in good health, so why don’t they drive to their house? “You could visit—you don’t have little kids,” the dad continues. “You don’t have anything going on. Why is it that every time I have to make the effort for you, yet you can’t do the most basic thing for me?”

    It’s clear from the phone call that the dad understands that traveling with the kids and staying in a house that isn’t correctly set up for young kids will make the holiday a struggle. Instead of making memories, they’ll most likely be running around bent over trying to save their kids from breaking something or hanging out at Target buying electrical socket plugs and a bottle brush because they left theirs at home. What’s especially frustrating is the pressure and expectations. Parents are often guilted for not wanting to pack up the kids and travel, even though it’s not hard to see why they hate it so much.

    The video struck a chord with many millennial parents. Nearly 500,000 people watched the clip, with hundreds and hundreds pouring in to vent their own similar frustrations.

     

    “First holiday with a kid… parents are confused why I won’t drive 9 hours with a 3mnth old for Christmas,” too_many_catz writes.

    “The ‘not baby proofed’ part hit my soullllllll. It’s so stressful having to chase your kids around and ask to close doors, move pictures, block stairs, etc. And nobody takes you seriously!” OhHeyItsIndy added.

    It’s also expensive for young families to travel. “Add to it they want us to spend money on gas, airfare, etc. when we live paycheck to paycheck and rent while they own homes and live comfortably off a pension,” another user wrote.

    “My mom asked me to drive 13 hours with our 2 month old…she doesn’t work and has flight points,” one mom added.

    This one hit hard: “They always act like you’re asking the world of them, yet they will willingly go on any other vacation that they choose,” Mackenzie Byrne wrote.

    “They can never make the trip for us but they can make them trips to Europe and cruises to the Caribbean,” another user noted.

    TX Travel Chick may have hit the nail on the head with her explanation for why boomer parents expect their children to road trip it to their house for the holidays. “Because we are used to following their orders!!! REVOLT,” she wrote.

    Ultimately, it would be interesting to learn why boomer parents want to inconvenience their kids when it would be much easier for them to take a trip to see them, especially if they can afford a hotel. One wonders if they are being entitled or if they’ve forgotten how hard it is to travel with young kids. In some cases, it’s a little more complicated — many baby boomer grandparents are still working and have less time and resources than previous generations did to help with the kids.

    “Yeah, not this time,” the dad sums up in the video. “I think for the holidays I’m just gonna stay in and relax.”

    It’s a hilarious and relatable video, but ultimately, it’s a skit. The power of boomer-grandparent guilt remains undefeated in many households, so the smart money says the Carreras family sucked it up and traveled for the holidays despite their annoyance. Here’s hoping that together, we can eventually break the generational curse when our kids become parents one day.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • Dad shares list of 10 things he tells his kids ‘100 times’ for emotional resilience
    A father holds his daughter. Photo credit: Canva
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    Dad shares list of 10 things he tells his kids ‘100 times’ for emotional resilience

    His powerful phrases inspired other dads to share their own.

    Present dads have an overwhelmingly positive impact on their kids’ lives—and the data supports it.

    A 2026 study published in Early Childhood Research Quarterly found that father involvement is “closely and positively linked to children’s social-emotional development, playing a crucial role in fostering emotional well-being, social competence, and emotion regulation in early childhood.”

    The study goes on to explain that this happens through direct engagement and interaction between dads and their kids, including play, teaching, and shared experiences. Even the smallest moments together can have a big impact, and one dad shared how he fosters that development through language.

    A dad explains his role in developing emotional resilience

    Reddit user Medium-Put-4976 opened up to fellow fathers on the platform about how he’s helping build his kids’ emotional resilience. He says he has a short list of impactful phrases he hopes to instill in them.

    He writes, “10 things to say to your kids at least 100 times before a time/event when they’ll need to hear it. (And mean it. Clearly saying it, but not living it, is counterproductive).”

    The post continues, explaining why repetition matters.

    “I’d like to think in the right moment I’d say the right thing, but on the fairly decent chance I don’t, I will make sure my kids have heard these things enough before the time they really need it,” he adds.

    He also shares the impact he hopes it will have on his kids.

    “For the same reasons that routines make kids feel safe, being a predictable parent is a stabilizer,” he writes. “Start now to develop your own mouth-muscle-memory.”

    He concludes the post with wisdom about his role as a father and about being someone his kids can feel secure with.

    “When this stuff falls out of my mouth easily, and frequently, I’m more likely to get it right when it matters most,” he writes. “And if not, they’ll at least know where I stand, not just in a crisis.”

    10 things to tell kids “100 times”

    Here are the phrases he shared with fellow dads, which he hopes will inspire them in their fatherhood journey:

    1. “I’m so glad you told me.”
    2. “I love you.” and “I love you, no matter what.”
    3. “I’m sorry.”
    4. “I was wrong. How can I make it right?”
    5. “I don’t know. Let’s figure it out together.”
    6. “I’m ready to listen.”
    7. “Do you want me to help, or just listen?”
    8. “You can always come home.”
    9. “I have your back.”
    10. “The world needs your __. (Reference a specific attribute and be prepared to back it up with examples of how your kid has it. Eg: ideas, enthusiasm, energy, art, voice, grit, style, friendship, kindness.. whatever fits)”

    Fellow dads share more impactful phrases

    The inspirational post ends with a callout to dads to share the important parenting phrases they say to their kids. Here are six fathers and their go-to phrases:

    Dad #1:

    “I recently saw a video that had some good ones. Pasting details below:

    Your feelings make sense.
    I was wrong.
    I love watching you figure things out.
    Tell me more about that.
    That took courage.
    You can change your mind.” – GrrATeam81

    Dad #2:

    “I have so much fun hanging out with you.
    I’m grateful for the person you are and the young man you’re growing up to be.
    I’m proud of you for doing the right thing even though it was difficult.
    Everyone makes mistakes, has accidents, and makes bad decisions. Learn from the consequences; we’ll get through it.
    What do you think about _?

    Also, I’ve always told my son ‘I promise that you’ll never regret telling me about anything.’ My parents said I could talk to them but they’d get mad or hold it against me later. When my son tells me about something he did wrong upfront, I thank him for being honest and tell him that taking responsibility voluntarily and knowing when to ask for help shows maturity and good judgment.” – CertainMedicine757

    Dad #3:

    “This is a great list. I learned two other ones recently: ‘I’m so glad you’re here’ (i.e. their presence is worthwhile) and ‘I love watching you figure things out'(the process is what I love, not results).” – Friendly-Land-1873

    Dad #4:

    “‘We are problem solvers’ is something I’ve tried to engrain in my kids.” – slidingscrapes

    Dad #5:

    “I run a slightly more Star Wars flavor on 2B. ‘I love you more than anything you could ever do wrong.’” – jeconti

    Dad #6:

    “I got this from a video, I wrote it in my notes and say it to my kid often when dropping her off at school. She loves it and even responds adding to it lol.

    It’s okay to not know it all.
    It’s okay to make mistakes.
    It’s okay to be yourself.
    It’s okay to ask for help.
    It’s okay to start over.
    It’s okay to say no.
    It’s okay to cry.
    It’s okay to feel upset.

    And recently added this to my notes and have started saying this to her when she’s working on something unfamiliar (‘difficult’):

    This feeling means your brain is growing.
    It’s okay that this is hard, hard is how we all learn.
    Stay with it. I believe in you and I’m right here.” – factsonlynomisinfo

  • Mom stopped taking teen’s phone as punishment and switched to something more helpful
    A teen girl is buried in her cell phone.Photo credit: Canva
    ,

    Mom stopped taking teen’s phone as punishment and switched to something more helpful

    “I started using consequences that actually match what I’m trying to correct.”

    When it comes to disciplining teens, every generation and every parent has their own style. Back in the Gen X days, when someone got grounded, we often heard things like, “No TV for two weeks!”

    Of course, cell phones didn’t exist back then, so removing them wasn’t an option.

    Many Gen X parents now choose to take away cell phones as punishment. But one mom, Carol, has gone viral on Instagram for declaring that she doesn’t agree with that approach. In fact, she believes it can make matters worse.

    Over a video of kids playing in a park, a chyron reads, “I’m not taking away my teen’s phone anymore as a fast consequence.”

    A new approach

    “You know when your teen messes up and your first instinct is to go straight for the phone?” Carol asked. “Yeah… that used to be me. Disrespectful tone? Phone. Didn’t follow a rule? Phone. Endless fighting with siblings? Phone. And yes… it ‘worked’ fast. They’d stop right away.”

    “But it didn’t sit right with me,” she wrote. “Because the behavior stopped but the conversation stopped too. They shut down, got defensive, and I ended up feeling like the worst mom in the world.”

    At some point, she realized that a phone can be a source of support and connection for some teenagers:

    “What slowly changed things for me was realizing this: for teens, their phone isn’t just a distraction. It’s where their friends are. Where they vent. Where they feel connected.

    So, when I took the phone away in the heat of the moment, I wasn’t just taking away a privilege… I was cutting them off from their world right when emotions were high. Another thing: the consequence wasn’t even connected to what they did. So it didn’t really correct the behavior. It just felt unfair to them and built resentment.”

    Instead, she tried to make the punishment fit the crime:

    “So I tried a small shift. I started using consequences that actually match what I’m trying to correct.

    If the tone is disrespectful?

    I don’t raise my voice. I hold the line and say we’ll talk when they can speak to me respectfully.

    If siblings can’t agree?

    The thing they’re fighting over is paused until they work it out (like both wanting the TV at the same time, they have to agree on turns and who goes first).

    And when I do believe phone access needs to be limited, I say it ahead of time, explain the boundaries, so next time it’s not a surprise.

    And the energy in our house changed. Less shutting down and resentment. More real conversations.”

    Many relate

    The post clearly resonated with parents. It has more than 72,000 likes and hundreds of comments, many in agreement and others vehemently disagreeing, sparking an interesting discussion.

    One Instagrammer, a teenager, waded into the conversation. Not surprisingly, they agreed with the assessment:

    “As a teenager, I would love to have parents who understand that taking away a phone will ‘fix’ things quickly but never in the long run and that these methods are soooo much better.”

    Another commenter disagreed:

    “What’s the consequence for disrespect? You actually don’t have one. The phone often is the cause of disrespect for my kid, and I am sure others, as she has spent too much time on it. When she is away from devices, she is a calmer and happier person, so yes, I will take it away and put limits on it. Kids need parents that will actually have boundaries and backbones.”

    Expert opinions

    Upworthy spoke with a few experts on teens. Cindy Shuster, who holds a master’s degree in elementary education and is the founder of Partner in Parenting, said, in part:

    “Teens do need to be accountable for their behavior and choices, but I see too many parents relying on the phone, and it becomes a constant battle of a back-and-forth. Nothing ever changes. Parents need to work with their teens to problem-solve through bad decisions and mistakes.”

    Shuster noted, however, that if the issue is the phone, it should be taken away:

    “Sometimes, the phone comes into play because it is the phone that may have been used to break a rule, or its use may have led to poor grades. In this case, the conversation centers around how the phone led to the outcome, and therefore there will be new rules around the phone. However, if a child did not do well in school and it is unrelated to the phone, it does not make sense to use the phone as a punishment. Instead, it is best to sit down with the child and try to understand what broke down. Help them discover what caused them to not do their best and what they could do differently moving forward.”

    Jeanette Lorandini, founder and clinical director at Suffolk DBT, had a different approach:

    “I don’t think the question is simply whether taking away a phone is ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ In DBT [Dialectical Behavior Therapy], we take a dialectical approach, looking for the middle path.

    On the one hand, a teen’s phone can be an important way for them to cope, connect, and regulate. On the other hand, limits and boundaries are still necessary. The goal isn’t to choose between connection and limits. It’s to create both. Before taking a phone away, it can help to ask what role it’s playing. Is it about connection, coping, or avoiding something painful? Punishment alone doesn’t teach skills. Teens need to learn what to do instead.

    A middle-path approach might look like setting limits on certain apps or times while still allowing connection and support. When parents are clear, consistent, and collaborative, teens are more likely to stay connected to expectations and to the relationship.”

    Many parents and teen therapists believe children and young adults have too much access to their phones in the first place.

    Brooke Sundin, a licensed marriage and family therapist, shared:

    “It’s important for families to remember that a phone is a privilege, not a right. As a mental health therapist, I encourage the parents I work with to empathize with their teen’s experience while confidently stepping into their parental authority when limits are needed.

    While many teens view their phone as a primary source of social connection, it is important to recognize the highly engaging and addictive nature of this technology. Constant screen-based connectivity can have real negative consequences for sleep, mood, and overall well-being. Real-life interactions are not the same as screen-based interactions, and screen-based communication can take away valuable opportunities to practice in-person communication.”

  • Father and son to cycle 9,600 miles to visit all 30 MLB parks and raise $1M for a children’s hospital
    Ethan and Scott Pesch are raising money for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.Photo credit: The Pesch Family & St. Jude Children's Research Hospital
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    Father and son to cycle 9,600 miles to visit all 30 MLB parks and raise $1M for a children’s hospital

    “This is well beyond us. It’s about everybody. Especially those young kids.”

    Thirty-two years ago, Scott Pesch and a group of track-and-field friends from college took on a crazy challenge: cycling across the United States to visit every Major League Baseball stadium. They came up eight stadiums short due to a player strike, but still raised $15,000 for their local Boys & Girls Club.

    On March 26, Scott and his son Ethan, a recent graduate of the University of Arizona, will recreate the ride, this time visiting all 30 MLB stadiums with a loftier goal: raising $1 million for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

    On the Bike 2 Ballparks ride, the Pesches will be joined by friends and cyclists across the country who wish to take part. The journey begins in Seattle, Washington, for a Mariners–Cleveland Guardians matchup and ends on September 26 in Miami, Florida, with a Marlins–Atlanta Braves game.

    Finding a beneficiary for the ride was an emotional experience

    The Peschs’ decision to ride for the children’s hospital came after experiencing its work firsthand when Scott’s beloved professor at Cal Poly Humboldt, Dr. Richard Stull, lost his 12-year-old daughter to cancer. “It’s such a memorable ride, you have to do it for something. St Jude Children’s Research Hospital, that’s who we chose,” Scott said in a statement. “And I’m so glad we did. Because, man, that team over there is so fantastic.”

    The Pesch family visited the hospital, and the experience humbled them. “The campus is very impressive,” Scott told Upworthy. “The fact that the scientists and doctors are there, looking to cure cancer and treat cancer. And then you walk into the children’s hospital. That’s the most sobering spot. It just stands you up. It’s crazy.”

    Map of the United States showing where the Major League Baseball teams are located.
    The Peschs’ journey to all 30 ballparks. Photo credit: Bike 2 Ballparks

    Ethan has been training for more than two months to get in shape for the ride of a lifetime. “I’ve been cycling four or five times a week, probably since January, just trying to get into physical shape,” he told Upworthy.

    “Physiologically, you’re sore. Your butt’s going to hurt. You know, you just have to get used to these things,” Scott added. “But psychologically, you just have to mentally prepare for what we’re doing.”

    The Pesches have some added motivation to get them through the toughest parts of their trip: the children at the hospital. “It kind of puts things in perspective,” Scott said. “If you’re having a bad day, just think about the kids of St. Jude who are the beneficiaries.”

    One place they’ll need all the encouragement they can get is en route to Coors Field. “The biggest elevation gain is going to be going up to Denver, Colorado, when you have to climb the Continental Divide,” Scott said.

    The duo is most excited about games in San Francisco and Chicago

    The father-and-son team can’t wait for their third game in San Francisco, where they’ve been invited to throw out the first pitch at Oracle Park. “That is something that is like a dream come true. I grew up a Giants fan,” Ethan said.

    Scott is excited to relive one of his favorite moments from the ’94 ride. “I think the part that I’m looking forward to is being at Wrigley Field on the Fourth of July,” he said. “Oh, wow. Because we had that same schedule back in ‘94. We were in Chicago. We watched the Cubs play the St. Louis Cardinals on the Fourth of July.”

    The Pesch family at Wrigley Field in Chicago.
    The Pesch family. Photo credit: The Pesch family (used with permission)

    They also can’t forget about the food. Given how many calories they’ll be burning on the road, they’re free to eat and drink whatever they like at the ballpark. “I’m looking forward to going to San Diego, and they have these carne asada fries,” Ethan said. “I lived in San Diego for a little bit, and every time I went to a game, that’s all I was getting because it’s good.”

    Ultimately, the 9,600-mile trip is all about supporting children and their families in the fight of their lives. “We have even more purpose to get this thing done because of those young kids who have cancer. And it just breaks your heart. It just does,” Scott said. “But it really wakes you up. And there’s more out there than just us. This is well beyond us. It’s about everybody. Especially those young kids.”

    The Peschs’ ride is open to anyone who wants to join and support St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. You can track their progress across the country at Bike 2 Ballparks and follow the ride on Instagram. If you’d prefer to donate, you can do so here.

  • Dad remakes AC/DC’s ‘Thunderstruck’ using only a year’s worth of baby’s recorded sounds
    Rock star babyPhoto credit: Canva

    Few things bring as much joy to a parent’s heart as the adorable sounds their babies make. But back in 2024, when a dad with a vision, a camera and a year’s worth of footage used those sounds to recreate one of the most iconic rock songs ever…let’s just say joy alone doesn’t quite cover it.

    In one of the most epically adorable and adorably epic song renditions ever, dad and video editor Matt MacMillan spliced together tiny snippets of his baby’s sounds to make AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck.” And it’s one of those things you just have to see to believe.

    Below, enjoy little Ryan singing a jaw-droppingly awesome babyfied version of “Thunderstruck.” Nothing but awe and respect for a guy who takes a whole year to get just the right sounds at the right pitches and figures out to put them together to create this masterpiece:

    Making a sneeze into a cymbal? Are you kidding me?

    People have been understandably impressed, with the video getting over 11 million views.

    “Ryan becomes the vocalist of AB/CD.”

    “I need a cover in 17 years whenever he is an adult singing over the instrumentals lol”

    “‘I recorded my son for a full year. I edited for the next 5′”

    “The fact that he genuinely found clips that fit every note he need instead of just pitch shifting like most videos like this do really makes this stand out. Good job he’s adorable.”

    “This dude had a kid just so he could make this song. What a Legend.”

    “Other parents: ‘I want my child to create masterpieces.’ This guy: ‘my child IS the masterpiece.’”

    “I’m a residential plumber and I’ve had an absolutely horrible day on a work shift that’s lasted 13 hours and even after crawling through human poop all day this made me smile laugh and giggle like a small baby.”

    Believe it or not, it’s not autotuned or pitch-shifted. Those notes are all baby.

    The real question is: How did he do it? This isn’t just some autotune trick. MacMillan really did it all manually, going through each video clip of Baby Ryan, organizing them by pitch and figuring out what notes they were.

    Perhaps most impressively, he didn’t even know the notes of “Thunderstruck” to begin with and doesn’t really read music. He had to pluck the song out on the piano and then match those notes with his baby’s sounds.

    As he wrote, “It took forever.” But he shared an inside look at how he did it here:

    Seriously, doesn’t seeing how he did it make it even more impressive? Pure human creativity and perseverance on display. What a delightful gift Ryan will have for the rest of his life. Much better than a standard baby book.

    Baby Ryan’s “Thunderstruck” was not MacMillan’s first foray into baby covers, either. He previously created a rendition of “Carol of the Bells” using Baby Ella’s sounds, and it is just as impressive (and adorable) as Baby Ryan’s. Here’s one to add to your holiday playlist: 

    Here’s to the humans who wow us with their ambitious, innovative projects that exist purely to bring a smile to people’s faces.

    You can follow Matt MacMillan on YouTube.

    This article originally appeared last year.

  • Dad shares the unique 7-point checklist his kids must finish before they get screen time
    (L) Two young teens do the dishes; (R) Young boy plays on a cell phonePhoto credit: Canva
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    Dad shares the unique 7-point checklist his kids must finish before they get screen time

    A psychiatrist and father of seven went viral for sharing the typed checklist his kids must complete before they’re allowed anywhere near a phone or tablet, and even plenty of adults are saying they need someone to do this for them.

    We know too much screen time is not good for us. We also know that younger folks are particularly susceptible to screen addiction. Crucially, teachers and psychologists have been sounding the alarm about the effects of too much screen time on young people for years now. Reports flood in every year that more and more people in schools struggle to do anything without ChatGPT’s help, that they’re way behind in learning fundamental skills, that they’re disrespectful and lazy.

    Every generation has been “concerned” about the one that comes directly after them, bemoaning that they don’t have the same values or that their brains are being rotted by Elvis, rock and roll, radio, or television. So some of the doom and gloom is probably overstated, but there’s truthfully never been anything quite like iPhones loaded up with TikTok and other forms of hyper-dopamine-fueled social media.

    Still, it’s unlikely that a young person, or any person, really, can exist in modern society without some level of access to screens. So parents need to effectively help teens and tweens manage the habit and offset the dangers as much as humanly possible.

    screen time for kids, parenting tips, phone addiction, healthy habits for teens, Richard Wadsworth
    A young girl plays on the monkey bars. Photo credit: Canva

    Psychiatrist, author, and dad of seven Richard Wadsworth recently went viral after showing his own personal strategy for getting his kids to do something other than scrolling.

    It could be the perfect solution for parents to not only break screen addiction, but instill some other healthy ritual as well.

    In the clip, we first see Wadsworth’s tween son doing deltoid exercises with dumbbells. Which he apparently got up at 6:30 am to do. What could possibly incentivize practically anyone, let alone a preteen to wake up at the crack of dawn to lift weights? Was his dad forcing him to exercise?

    No. Wadsworth went on to show a typed out list of various tasks that must be performed before his kids even think about setting eyes on a phone or tablet. The list included a short workout in the form of one mile on the treadmill or 20 minutes of another exercise.

    Wadsworth explained that rather than enforcing strict rules, this method provides necessary structure without taking away choice.

    “I’m not forcing my son to exercise every day, but I am setting rules and boundaries around his screen time,” he said. “He decided he wanted to have more time after school to play with his friend. And so in order to do that, he realized that he’d need to wake up a little bit earlier and exercise in the morning.”

    In addition to exercise, the list included domestic chores like cleaning the bedroom and shared areas, finishing homework, doing laundry, preparing for the next day…and, perhaps most importantly…making sure the toilet is flushed. (Not cleaned, just flushed. Parents everywhere can relate.)

    “We have all of their screens locked away. And if they want access to any of them, they need to come ask us and we’ll go through the list together. And they’re not getting their screens until the list is done,” Wadsworth continued.

    He also drew a comparison between screen time and sugary sweets, noting how most parents probably wouldn’t routinely allow kids to eat dessert before a nutritious meal, but instead allow it to be a treat.

    screen time for kids, parenting tips, phone addiction, healthy habits for teens, Richard Wadsworth
    Two young women look at a cell phone. Photo credit: Canva

    “Just as you would hopefully have your kids eat dinner before they had their dessert, you should probably be having them do something positive…before they get on their screens.” Hence why he tries to get his kids to complete their list before going to the phone.

    And in case you’re wondering how Wadsworth’s son feels about all this, he reported having “so much energy for school” feeling “so much better” since his dad introduced the to-do list.

    Bottom line: kids need guidance from their parents. And Wadsworth recommends clear cut boundaries to help them develop good habits, “because if you don’t do it, nobody else is.”

    Wadsworth’s parenting hack was well received, with quite a few grown adults saying they could benefit from this type of boundary-setting in their own life.

    “Even I’m addicted to this screen. I have to tell myself to put it down all the time and I’m a grown adult. Kids definitely need this!” one user wrote.

    Another added, “I need someone to do this for me (I’m 28).” To which Wadsworth replied, “we all need parents sometimes.”

    “We implemented a similar plan, and I was surprised at how easy they took to it. It’s almost like kids need structure. What a concept!” another user remarked.

    While the inclusion of exercise on the To-Do List might be controversial, the facts don’t lie. Most kids and teens aren’t getting enough daily physical activity. Kids don’t play outside or walk to school anymore, either. So if they’re not exercising, they’re probably not moving much at all. And that’s just as dangerous as too much TikTok.

    Even with ongoing uncertainty around TikTok, social media isn’t going anywhere. The sooner parents can implement guidelines like these, the better equipped their kids will be at balancing tech savviness with tech dependence.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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