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Family

Dad writes heartbreaking message after the death of his son

"Hug your kids. Don’t work too late. "

Young family takes a photo outside
J.R. Storment/LinkedIn

J.R. Storment and his family.

A dad from Portland, Oregon, has taken to LinkedIn to write an emotional plea to parents after he learned that his son had died during a conference call at work. J.R. Storment encouraged parents to spend less time at work and more time with their kids after his son's death.

In his open letter posted on September 3, 2019, Storment explains that his son, Wiley, passed away during his sleep as a result of complications from his mild epilepsy. He then goes on to blast himself for not spending enough time with his son, and encourages other parents to take more time off work.

Young family takes photo in the snow

J.R. Storment and his family

via Facebook

Storment starts by explaining that the day his son passed away started like any other:

"Eight years ago, during the same month, I had twin boys and co-founded Cloudability. About three months ago Cloudability was acquired. About three weeks ago we lost one of our boys."

"When I got the call I was sitting in a conference room with 12 people at our Portland office talking about PTO policies. Minutes earlier, I had admitted to the group that in the last 8 years I'd not taken more than a contiguous week off."

That's when Storment received a call from his distraught wife.

"My wife and I have an agreement that when one of us calls, the other answers. So when the phone rang I stood up and walked to the conference room door immediately."

"I was still walking through the door when I answered with 'Hey, what's up?'"

"Her reply was icy and immediate: 'J.R., Wiley is dead.'"

"'What?' I responded incredulously."

"'Wiley has died.' she reiterated."

"'What?! No.' I yelled out, 'No!'"

"'I'm so sorry, I have to call 911.'"

Storment goes on to explain the chaos that happened next.

"That was the entire conversation. The next thing I know I'm sprinting out the front door of the office with my car keys in hand, running ferociously across the street and muttering 'oh F**k. oh F**k. oh F**k.' Half way down the block I realize I don't have the opener to my parking garage. Running back into the lobby, I all but shout "Someone drive me! Somebody drive me!" Thankfully, a helpful colleague did."

Storment made it home, but not yet knowing the cause of death, police were treating the house as a possible crime scene. The heartbroken father was unable to see his son for two and a half hours.

"When the medical examiner finally finished his work, we were allowed in the room. An eerie calm came over me. I laid down next to him in the bed that he loved, held his hand and kept repeating, 'What happened, buddy? What happened?'"

"We stayed next to him for maybe 30 minutes and stroked his hair before they returned with a gurney to take him away. I walked him out, holding his hand and his forehead through the body bag as he was wheeled down our driveway. Then all the cars drove away. The last one to leave was the black minivan with Wiley in it."

Young family takes photo outside.

J.R. Storment with his wife and sons.

via LinkedIn

Storment goes on to explain his son's dreams and aspirations, and the difficulty he had signing his son's death certificate.

"Wiley was obsessed with starting a business. One day it was a smoothie stand, the next it would be a gallery, then a VR headset company, then a 'coder', then a spaceship building company. In each of these scenarios he was the boss. His brother (and sometimes us) were invited to work for—not with— him and were each assigned jobs. In the gallery scenario, Wiley informed Oliver that he would be manning the cash register."

"Around 5 years old, Wiley decided he was going to get married as an adult. By 6 he had identified the girl, holding her hand at recess on the first day of kindergarten. Over the next two years as we moved from Portland to London to Hawaii, he kept in touch with her by handwritten letter. Not long before we moved back to Portland, the two agreed (by letter) to marry. She beat him to the punch and asked him. He accepted. Happily, he got to see her twice after we moved back to Portland in June."

"One of the countless difficult moments of this month was signing his death certificate. Seeing his name written on the top of it was hard. However, two fields further down the form crushed me. The first said: 'Occupation: Never worked' and the next: 'Marital Status: Never married.' He wanted so badly to do both of those things. I feel both fortunate and guilty to have had success in each."

A handwritten diary entry

Wiley wrote his plans down in his diary.

via LinkedIn

Storment then criticises himself for spending too much time at work. And while it sounds that Wiley got to live an amazing life, Storment only wishes he could have done more with him.

"Over the last three weeks I have come up with an endless stream of things I regret. They tend to fall into two categories: things I wish I had done differently and things I'm sad not to see him do. My wife is constantly reminding me of all the things he did do: Wiley went to 10 countries, drove a car on a farm road in Hawaii, hiked in Greece, snorkeled in Fiji, wore a suit to a fantastic British prep school every day for two years, got rescued from a shark on a jet ski, kissed multiple girls, got good enough at chess to beat me twice in a row, wrote short stories and drew comics obsessively."

Storment hadn't checked on the boys the morning of the tragedy because he had to get up early for meetings, a decision he seems to regret.

"Around 5:40am, the next morning I woke up for a series of back to back meetings. I did a Peloton ride, took an analyst call from my home office, one with a colleague on the drive to work, then the rest at the office. None seem that important now. I left that morning without saying goodbye or checking on the boys."

A couple smile for a photo

J.R. Storment and his wife.

Via Facebook

Storment has a simple message for parents:

"Many have asked what they can do to help. Hug your kids. Don't work too late. A lot of the things you are likely spending your time on you'll regret once you no longer have the time. I'm guessing you have 1:1 meetings on the books with a lot of people you work with. Do you have them regularly scheduled with your kids? If there's any lesson to take away from this, it's to remind others (and myself) not to miss out on the things that matter."

"The big question is how to return to work in a way that won't leave me again with the regrets I have now. To be honest, I've considered not going back. But I believe in the words of Kahlil Gibran who said, 'Work is love made visible.' To me, that line is a testament to how much we gain, grow and offer through the work we do. But that work needs to have a balance that I have rarely lived. It's a balance that lets us offer our gifts to the world but not at the cost of self and family."

"While I sat writing this post, my living son, Oliver, came in to ask for screen time. Instead of saying the usual 'no', I stopped writing and asked if I could play with him. He was happily surprised by my answer and we connected in a way I would have formerly missed out on. Small things matter. One silver lining from this tragedy is the improving relationship I have with him."

"Our family has gone from having two units of two (the parents and the twins) to now being a triangle of three. That's a big adjustment for a family that has always been four. Oliver's brilliant reply when we discussed the shape of our new family: 'But Papa, the triangle is the strongest shape.' By some sad and beautiful irony, Oliver has met three sets of 8-year-old twins in our new neighborhood since Wiley passed."

"I've learned to stop waiting to do the things the kids ask for. When we sold the business I gave each of the boys a $100 dollar bill. They decided to pool their money to buy a tent for camping. But we didn't make it happen before Wiley died. Another regret. So, after the first round of family visits after his death, I took Jessica and Oliver to REI to get gear and we left town quickly to camp near Mt. St. Helens."

"Somehow, we got to the wilderness without enough cash to cover the campground fee and had a slight panic. Jessica then realized that Wiley's $100 bill was still in his seat pocket. He got to spend his money on camping after all. Collectively, the family said a big, 'Thanks, buddy' out-loud to him. It was one of many bittersweet moments we will experience for the rest of our lives. Each happy time brings with it the sadness that he doesn't get to experience it."

"One of Wiley's happy times was listening to music and dancing. Damn, could that kid dance. He loved the Oregon Country Fair and the year before we left for London, we listened to a band there play a version of 'Enjoy yourself (It's later than you think)'. The words stuck with me that day three years ago and painfully so now:"


"You work and work for years and years, you're always on the go

You never take a minute off, too busy makin' dough

Someday, you say, you'll have your fun, when you're a millionaire

Imagine all the fun you'll have in your old rockin' chair

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think

Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink

The years go by, as quickly as a wink

Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think"


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Health

How often should you wash your sheets? Experts settle the debate once and for all.

People have all kinds of opinions on this.

Kampus Production/Canva

How often do you change your sheets?

If you were to ask a random group of people, "How often do you wash your sheets?" you'd likely get drastically different answers. There are the "Every single Sunday without fail" folks, the "Who on Earth washes their sheets weekly?!?" people and everyone in between.

According to a survey of 1,000 Americans conducted by Mattress Advisor, the average time between sheet changings or washings in the U.S. is 24 days—or every 3 1/2 weeks, approximately. The same survey revealed that 35 days is the average interval at which unwashed sheets are "gross."

Some of you are cringing at those stats while others are thinking, "That sounds about right." But how often should you wash your sheets, according to experts?

Hint: It's a lot more frequent than 24 days.

While there is no definitive number of days or weeks, most experts recommend swapping out used sheets for clean ones every week or two.

Dermatologist Alok Vij, MD told Cleveland Clinic that people should wash their sheets at least every two weeks, but probably more often if you have pets, live in a hot climate, sweat a lot, are recovering from illness, have allergies or asthma or if you sleep naked.

We shed dead skin all the time, and friction helps those dead skin cells slough off, so imagine what's happening every time you roll over and your skin rubs on the sheets. It's normal to sweat in your sleep, too, so that's also getting on your sheets. And then there's dander and dust mites and dirt that we carry around on us just from living in the world, all combining to make for pretty dirty sheets in a fairly short period of time, even if they look "clean."

Maybe if you shower before bed and always wear clean pajamas you could get by with a two-week sheet swap cycle, but weekly sheet cleaning seems to be the general consensus among the experts. The New York Times consulted five books about laundry and cleaning habits, and once a week was what they all recommend.

Sorry, once-a-monthers. You may want to step up your sheet game a bit.

What about the rest of your bedding? Blankets and comforters and whatnot?

Sleep.com recommends washing your duvet cover once a week, but this depends on whether you use a top sheet. Somewhere between the Gen X and Millennial eras, young folks stopped being about the top sheet life, just using their duvet with no top sheet. If that's you, wash that baby once a week. If you do use a top sheet, you can go a couple weeks longer on the duvet cover.

For blankets and comforters and duvet inserts, Sleep.com says every 3 months. And for decorative blankets and quilts that you don't really use, once a year washing will suffice.

What about pillows? Pillowcases should go in with the weekly sheet washing, but pillows themselves should be washed every 3 to 6 months. Washing pillows can be a pain, and if you don't do it right, you can end up with a lumpy pillow, but it's a good idea because between your sweat, saliva and skin cells, pillows can start harboring bacteria.

Finally, how about the mattress itself? Home influencers on TikTok can often be seen stripping their beds, sprinkling their mattress with baking soda, brushing it into the mattress fibers and then vacuuming it all out. Architectural Digest says the longer you leave baking soda on the mattress, the better—at least a few hours, but preferably overnight. Some people add a few drops of essential oil to the baking soda for some extra yummy smell.

If that all sounds like way too much work, maybe just start with the sheets. Pick a day of the week and make it your sheet washing day. You might find that climbing into a clean, fresh set of sheets more often is a nice way to feel pampered without a whole lot of effort.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

Tony Hawk shared his ultimate mistaken identity experience: 'maybe this is where it all ends'

Tony Hawk being mistaken for Tony Hawk is a long-running joke, but a recent elevator encounter was like a "greatest hits" moment.

HBO/YouTube, Tony Hawk/Twitter

Tony Hawk's ongoing mistaken identity joke just hit its apex.

Tony Hawk might just be the least-recognized well-known person on the planet. The iconic skateboarder is now in his 50s, but his legendary status in the skating world—and video game world—has made him a household name. His face, on the other hand, is a different story.

For years, Hawk has shared hilarious stories of people telling him he looks like Tony Hawk. These mistaken-but-not-mistaken identity incidents happen so often that Hawk has made a running joke out of it, often playing along with people's "Hey, does anyone ever tell you you look like Tony Hawk?" inquiries. Sometimes he tells people he actually is Tony Hawk and they don't believe him. Sometimes he just says he gets that all the time.

Tony Hawk fans know the joke well, so sometimes they purposefully tell him he looks like himself just for giggles. But an elevator interaction in 2022 combined the ongoing saga's greatest hits, and may just be, as Hawk says, "where it all ends."

Hawk shared the story on Twitter.

"This just happened, and maybe this is where it all ends," he wrote. "Got on an elevator with 3 people. One guy (with his wife), sarcastically: 'anyone ever tell you…' and stops. Me (amused): yes, but you're the first today. His wife: 'I'm sorry, I tried to stop him from doing the joke."

Cute, but then it got extra funny.

The elevator stopped and the couple got off on their floor. Then the third person on the elevator asked what the joke was. When Hawk explained that he gets "mistaken" for Tony Hawk, the guy said, "Haha you do look like him!" and then exited the elevator, leaving Hawk standing there alone and perplexed by what just happened.

It's like the guy unintendedly came up with a perfect punchline to a joke he didn't even know existed. You can't even write this stuff.

People loved the perfect storm that occurred on the elevator, and shared other fun Tony Hawk mistaken identity jokes.

And apparently, Tony Hawk isn't the only famous-but-not-like-Brad-Pitt-famous person to deal with this kind of thing.

Good times. Keep on being your cool, awesome self, Tony Hawk—whether people recognize you for real or not.

BTW, there's a new documentary about Tony Hawk called "Until the Wheels Fall Off" that just premiered on HBO. Check it out:

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Internet

Gen Zer asks Gen X how they got around without GPS and the answers are perfectly accurate

"We're old. Older than Google, too."

Photo credit: Canva

Gen Zer asks how people got around without GPS, Gen X responds

It's easy to forget what life was like before cell phones fit in your pocket and Google could tell you the meaning of life in less than .2 seconds. Gen Z is the first generation to be born after technology began to move faster than most people can blink. They never had to deal with the slow speeds and loud noises of dial up internet.

In fact, most people that fall in the Gen Z category have no idea that their parents burned music on a CD thinking that was peak mix tape technology. Oh, how wrong they were. Now songs live in a cloud but somehow come out of your phone without having to purchase the entire album or wait until the radio station plays the song so you can record it.

But Gen Z has never lived that struggle so the idea of things they consider to be basic parts of life not existing are baffling to them. One self professed Gen Zer, Aneisha, took to social media to ask a question that has been burning on her mind–how did people travel before GPS?

Now, if you're older than Gen Z–whose oldest members are just 27 years old–then you likely know the answer to the young whippersnapper's question. But even some Millennials had trouble answering Aneisha's question as several people matter of factly pointed to Mapquest. A service that requires–you guessed it, the internet.

Aneisha asks in her video, "Okay, serious question. How did people get around before the GPS? Like, did you guys actually pull a map and like draw lines to your destination? But then how does that work when you're driving by yourself, trying to hold up the map and drive? I know it's Gen Z of me but I kind of want to know."

@aneishaaaaaaaaaaa I hope this reaches the right people, i want to know
♬ original sound - aneishaaaaaaa

These are legitimate questions for someone who has never known life without GPS. Even when most Millennials were starting to drive, they had some form of internet to download turn-by-turn directions, so it makes sense that the cohort between Gen Z and Gen X would direct Aneisha to Mapquest. But there was a time before imaginary tiny pirates lived inside of computer screens to point you in the right direction and tales from those times are reserved for Gen X.

The generation known for practically raising themselves chimed in, not only to sarcastically tell Millennials to sit down but to set the record straight on what travel was like before the invention of the internet. Someone clearly unamused by younger folks' suggestion shares, "The people saying mapquest. There was a time before the internet kids."

Others are a little more helpful, like one person who writes, "You mentally note landmarks, intersections. Pretty easy actually," they continue. "stop at a gas station, open map in the store, ($4.99), put it back (free)."

"Believe it or not, yes we did use maps back then. We look at it before we leave, then take small glances to see what exits to take," someone says, which leaves Aneisha in disbelief, replying, "That's crazyy, I can't even read a map."

"Pulled over and asked the guy at the gas station," one person writes as another chimes in under the comment, "and then ask the guy down the street to make sure you told me right."

Imagine being a gas station attendant in the 90s while also being directionally challenged. Was that part of the hiring process, memorizing directions for when customers came in angry or crying because they were lost? Not knowing where you were going before the invention of the internet was also a bit of a brain exercise laced with exposure therapy for those with anxiety. There were no cell phones so if you were lost no one who cared about you would know until you could find a payphone to check in.

The world is so overly connected today that the idea of not being able to simply share your location with loved ones and "Ask Siri" when you've gotten turned around on your route seems dystopian. But in actuality, if you took a few teens from 1993 and plopped them into 2024 they'd think they were living inside of a sci-fi movie awaiting aliens to invade.

Technology has made our lives infinitely easier and nearly unrecognizable from the future most could've imagined before the year 2000, so it's not Gen Z's fault that they're unaware of how the "before times" were. They're simply a product of their generation.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Family

Interior designer says that having family photo 'shrines' in the house is poor taste

Is decorating with family photos tacky?

via Travis Isaacs/Flickr

A collage of family photos.

Shannyn Weiler, a Utah-based interior designer, has caused a debate on TikTok after she urged people to use caution when displaying family photos in the home. The discussion started a debate over whether a home should be decorated for visitors or the family itself and if having a “shrine” dedicated to family members is tasteful.

The video began with a stitch from a designer passionately saying that one should “never’ display “personal photos” in the living room.

“So family photos can become a problem when they become what I refer to as the shrine,” Weiler begins the video. She shared an example from her life, to make the case why family photos should be hung judiciously.

“I got married when I was 21,” she shares. “We were both in school, absolutely broke, we had $50 to buy a couch, so imagine what type of couch that was. We went to go decorate our first apartment and lo and behold, there’s no money for decoration. So we do what most newlyweds do, we use our wedding photos, because we’re so cute and we’re so in love and we just love our wedding day. Everywhere in our apartment was wedding photos… it felt like what I call ‘the shrine.’”

“It’s very real. This also happens if you have one baby, and you might have baby photos taken and it’s the shrine to the one kid,” she continues. “This also happens if you have one grandkid.”

@shannynweiler

Interior design art tips Art decor interior design Interior design 2024 art prints Interior design art trends 2024 interior design trends #hometips #homedecor #wallart #decortips #walldecor #interiordesign

Weiler believes that people should hang artwork or photography about more than one subject.

“They can’t just be on every wall with one subject,” she says. “We need to mix it up. There needs to be a mirror in the space. We need some Etsy art prints or something like that. We just need to mix it together to get rid of that shrine feel.”

The post bothered many who love having pictures of their family around the house. The vast majority of commenters were people who love having family photos strewn about their homes

"The house is for us not company," Sarah Murdock, the most popular commenter, wrote. "I’d rather have pics of my kids and our life up than prints of random flowers and art," Ty Harman added.

"I grew up in an interior design magazine and HATED that my mom never displayed any photos of my family. Felt like she cared more about material things," Alexandra DiGiovanni wrote.

Others noted that people decorate their homes for themselves, not for guests.

"OR we do what we want with the homes WE live in, not guests," Ergot wrote. "I like myself, I don't have a problem seeing myself everywhere. After all, I paid the bills," Gege Chic added.

Some people agreed with the interior decorator and said that having too many family photos in a house looks tacky.

"YES. Photographs of ourselves in my own house feel so weird to me. Narcissistic kind of Jamiecakes wrote. "I don't have a single photo of a person in my house. I think they look tacky," C wrote. "One friend's house comes to mind for me, it was tacky (for me) to see nothing but wedding pics. Like, do you have other interests? Just my opinion but also, they’re divorced now. Mixing in art helps," _sigred added.

Even though the post received a pretty sizable backlash, Weiler’s opinion is widely accepted in design circles. “To us, having too many portraits of yourself on display in your home is kind of like having a tattoo of yourself on your own body. It can come off as vain and tacky,” Sarah Han writes at Apartment Therapy.

After her thoughts on family photos went viral, Weiler posted a follow-up video where she shared an example of a student changing their mind about home decor.

“Sometimes in design, we hear the design ideas and go, 'Mmm nope, that's not for me.' Sometimes, we try those ideas and we still say, 'Nope, that's not for me.' But occasionally we try things and we go, 'Okay, I do kind of like that,’” Weiler concluded her video.

@shannynweiler

reply to @Shannyn #homedecor #interiordesign #hometips #interiordesigntrends2024 #wall art

This article originally appeared last year.

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Movies

A GenZ teen watched the 80s classic 'Say Anything' and said these are its four life lessons

The 17-year-old found meaning not often present in modern movies.

The iconic scene from 'Say Anything' (20th Century Fox)

John Cusack in "Say Anything"

If you grew up anywhere near the 1980s, the image of Lloyd Dobler (as played by John Cusack) holding up a boombox is burned into your brain. But one Gen-Zer had never heard of the film, much less a boombox. When my pal Susan showed her son Noah the movie (released in theaters in 1989) his mouth was agape. "What is kickboxing?" he asked. "Why is he holding up those speakers? Who sings that SONG?"

Of course, Susan explained. "Kickboxing is the sport of the future. Those speakers are how we Gen X-ers transported music. And the song is In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel." Noah was overwhelmed with emotion. (That song will do it every time!) Susan says he talked about it for days and by the end of the week, he wanted to watch it again. This time he invited over friends (who are also juniors in his high school) and they all concurred: Lloyd Dobler and Diane Court are their "relationship goals."


John Cusack holding a boombox over his head in "Say Anything"John Cusack in "Say Anything"The iconic scene from 'Say Anything' (20th Century Fox)

It was the Lloyd character, especially, who resonated with Noah. "That's how we should all be treating people," he told his mom. When she asked for examples why, he had plenty to give.

Here are Noah's Lloyd Dobler-inspired takeaways on how to be chivalrous:

1) Keep your date safe.

In one memorable scene, after Lloyd gets Diane (played by actress Ione Skye) to agree to go to the graduation after- party with him, he kicks some broken glass out of her path to make sure Diane doesn't step in it. It's a simple gesture, but you can see Diane is visibly impressed. It might even be the exact moment she "falls" for him.

Noah shared with his mom, "That's an 'of course' moment. I'd do that for anyone, whether it was a first date or not!"

say anything inspiration GIFGiphy

2) Use music to express yourself.

In what is arguably one of the most iconic scenes in any film EVER, Lloyd stands outside of Diane's window holding his boombox. Song choice? In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel. While some more cynical people might say Lloyd was being "pushy" in this moment, fresh-eyed Noah felt quite the opposite!

He gave it some thought. "I think I might use something by Harry Styles. And I wonder if iPhone speakers would be loud enough."

stan marsh love GIF by South Park Giphy

3) Help the heartbroken.

One of the most endearing qualities about Lloyd was his empathy toward his friends and family, especially the women in his life. Whether it was his sweet, albeit stressed-out sister (played by his real life sister Joan Cusack) or his close-knit circle of friends, he was always there to lend an ear or be a beacon of non-judgmental wisdom.

After Lloyd cried, "I gave her my heart, and she gave me a pen," Noah wisely observed, "It was funny that his buddies were rapping at the Gas 'n' Sip, but it was his female friends who he really leaned on when he was sad."

And it's Lloyd who helps pick up the pieces for his friend Corey (played by Lily Taylor) when she develops an unmanageable push/pull crush on a guy named Joe. It's SO intense, she writes/performs a song called "Joe Lies." In turn, Corey has Joe's back. When she and two other friends ask, "If you're Diane Court, would you honestly fall for Lloyd?" The answer for everyone is a resounding "Yes."

Noah loved that scene. He said, "Real friends stay your friends, even when you write someone a cringe song. We've all been there!"

john cusack telephone booth GIFGiphy

4) Bet on yourself.

The thing about Lloyd Dobler is he knows exactly who he is. He's Good Guy personified and he never wavers from that.

As self actualized as he is, he equally knows who he doesn't want to be. This is made famous by the scene where Diane's father asks him what he wants to do for a living. "I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought or processed or repair anything sold, bought or processed."

Noah loved how much Lloyd believed in himself, sharing, "He never gives up on himself. He aims high and it pays off." He really connected to the scene when Diane asks "Nobody really thinks it will work, do they?" Lloyd, without missing a beat, answers "No. You just described every great success story."

John Cusack Utopia GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy

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