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Widow who lost her husband soon after marriage shares valuable lessons about grief

#1: "Moving on" is a fallacy.

grief, losing a husband, marriage
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A grieving widow shares lessons on how to live after loss.

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This article originally appeared on 02.14.17


Amelia and Manny made clear plans when they got married.

They planned to travel around the world. They planned what they’d want their family and their futures to look like. It was all so normal and real.

And then something they couldn't have planned for happened: Manny unexpectedly passed away soon after they'd tied the knot.

When the doctor in the emergency room told Amelia that it was time to say goodbye, she was in disbelief. "How do you even do that?" she wondered.

Instead of being a young, happy newlywed, Amelia became a young, grieving widow.

It turned her life upside down. In the months that followed, she could barely wake up and get out of bed, let alone put on clothes and walk to work. Every day felt harder than the last while the world continued on around her.

"I wanted so painfully for everything to just stop," Amelia said in an interview for Prudential's Masterpiece of Love series. "I was so tired. I just wanted it to stop." But it didn't stop. Life kept going and so did she, at times reluctantly.

Amelia has come out on the other side of the most difficult journey she could have imagined, and it's taught her a lot about herself, the grieving process, and how often life doesn't go as planned.

In hopes of helping others, Amelia wrote down eight things she learned about living after loss:

1. "Moving on" is a fallacy. Amelia prefers to call it "moving forward."

"Moving on" implies letting your person go, and that's an unrealistic expectation, Amelia wrote.

"Instead, you simply swim through it until the water clears up a little more, until the profundity of the depth is less terrifying, and until it feels a little easier, because you've gotten good at swimming."

Skydiving helped Amelia to commemorate the six-month anniversary of Manny's passing. "I guess some part of me felt like I could get closer to Manny somehow by stepping into the sky," she said.

2. "Try to remain open to life."

Amelia took a chance and met someone again who turned out to be a wonderful man. Having your heart broken again after loss is a nasty slap in the face, she wrote, but you should not let it shut you down.

"Practice kindness and graciousness when others are kind to you," she said, "and compassion when they aren't. That's a good practice for any relationship,."

3. Hers is not a "success story."

The peaceful person Amelia is today has "clawed, gasped, screamed and survived." She fell in love again and had a child, but those are not successes she can claim. She says that getting to raise her baby has been a wonderful blessing, and new life gives loss slightly more perspective. Every day, as her baby learns, she is reminded that life continues.

4. This is a big one: "Release any hostility or jealousy."

"Friends will get married and have children, celebrate anniversaries and successes, all while you are alone in the dark," she wrote. "They will forget to be sensitive to your heartache, or think that you're 'over it' enough so you won't mind if they gush. They might think that it's easier for you to show up with a smile than it really is. Let that go, too."

People are going to say the wrong things. They will say unbelievably tone-deaf things. It's important to not take hurtful words to heart, as hard as that can be. She advises trying to imagine a time when it will be easier to be happy for others again without feeling heartache yourself. Doing this will be healing.

5. "It will take longer than you expect."

Amelia wrote, "Because it doesn't go away, or stop, and because you don't get over it, that old heartache keeps creeping up long after you thought it should have gotten easier. Be compassionate with yourself. Life is not a round trip voyage; why should your grieving process be? You will get better at navigating the new normal."

6. "Only you know what you're really going through."

Amelia points to how well-meaning people will come out of the woodwork, desperate to tell you about when their somebody died, for three reasons:

One, they want to be helpful. Two, society shuns them from talking about their lost loved one and they want you to be a person whom they can commiserate with. Three, see number one.

Some people will say helpful things. But every grief is different. Every relationship is different. Every person who has passed is different, and every grieving person is different. If you grieve in your own way, you're doing it right.

7. "The right partner will actively keep the memory alive with you."

"Be careful not to get so swept up in escaping your grief that you choose someone who wants you to get over it," she wrote. "Don't you dare let anyone take your grief from you."

The right partner will hold your hand on the anniversaries (if that's what you want), will wish that they could have met your person, and will admire how you still love that person today.

8. And finally: "You can do this."

"There may be times you're pretty sure I'm wrong on this point," she wrote. "That's ok, rest when it's too hard. Find something — anything — and hang on like hell. These peaks and valleys gradually get less steep. It takes a long time, but they do. And there is sunshine again out there somewhere."

As many of us know, life often doesn't go according to plan.

It's still hard for Amelia every single day. But she says it also makes her experience things on a deeper level. Whether it’s raindrops on her skin or the feeling of breath going in and out of her lungs, everything is more vivid.

She says Manny's passing has a lot to do with that; he reminds her that every single day is a gift.

This article originally appeared on 02.14.17

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Meet the people using their project management skills to better the world

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Many of us yearn for a career that not only provides a livelihood but also contributes to a better world. We seek a sense of purpose, a way to use our skills and talents to make a meaningful difference in the lives of others and the health of our communities. But who orchestrates the initiatives that allow us to give back effectively? Behind the scenes of many successful initiatives advancing the common good are project managers.

Project managers, who are often equipped with certifications from organizations like the Project Management Institute (PMI), bring order and efficiency for complex projects. But project managers go beyond ensuring projects are executed on time and on budget – they make sure the project meets a higher need. Does it positively impact the community? Does it create ease or improve the lives of others? Their work is essential to maximizing the impact of initiatives that better our world.

To showcase the vital role project managers play in creating positive change, we spoke with two rising leaders who are going above and beyond to make a difference in their communities as project managers.

Zack Almer

Every day, 17 people in the U.S. die waiting for an organ transplant, with demand far outpacing supply. In the New York Metro area, Zachary Almer, MPA, PMP, is tackling this challenge head-on. As the Director of Strategic Project Management at LiveOnNY, an organ procurement organization for the greater New York City area, he helped execute a bold strategy that increased organ and tissue donations by 50% over the past two years—resulting in over 2,500 life-saving transplants and setting a new benchmark for what’s possible in healthcare.

“I really enjoy when someone says we need to get something done and there’s no one way to do it. That’s why I love project management, because it allows me to step into a situation where there’s a problem and I need to fix it.” Zack added, “I think if you’re in healthcare, most people have selfless aspirations by the nature of signing up for this work. As long as I have the experience to share, I want to give back.”

Prosperidade Sunguete

As project manager for Angola’s Ana Elisa Philanthropic Association, Prosperidade Sunguete drives initiatives focused on sustainable development and community advancement, encompassing support for children, widows, environmental preservation, health, and education.

In 2023, Prosperidade set about closing the digital divide for children and young adults in Luanda’s Maiombe community after witnessing how little technology and food access the community had. The initiative, Technological Education for All, offers tech education and nutritious meals to over 150 young people from underprivileged backgrounds, granting the recipients greater digital literacy, food security and future learning and career opportunities.

“Every child deserves the opportunity to learn and thrive in an increasingly digital world. Empowering kids through tech education, while also guaranteeing them a daily hot meal, helps give them a leg up to be qualified for future educational and professional opportunities that would not have been available to them otherwise,” Prosperidade emphasized.

Prosperidade added, “project management is not just about meeting deadlines, but about creating lasting value and positive impact on the lives of the people involved as well.” The initiative, nominated for the 2023 Tigra Nova Garra Award, empowers youth and reflects Prosperidade's belief in the transformative power of education.

Project managers, equipped with on-the-job experience and resources from PMI, are the driving force behind social impact campaigns like Zack’s and Prosperidade’s, skillfully navigating challenges and ensuring successful completion. PMI empowers project professionals with skill-building resources like online courses and networking opportunities, validates their expertise with professional certifications, and celebrates their global impact as a global community.

Project Management Institute recognized Zack and Prosperidade for their impactful work alongside other rising trailblazing leaders who are driving global impact through innovative project management. Aspiring project managers seeking to make a difference can begin their journey with the Certified Associate in Project Management (CAPM) certification.

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Pop Culture

I convinced my Gen Z kids to watch 'Dead Poets Society' and their angry reactions surprised me

Gen X and Gen Z apparently view "inspiring" very differently.

Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers/YouTube

Robin Williams played inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."

As a Gen X parent of Gen Z teens and young adults, I'm used to cringing at things from 80s and 90s movies that haven't aged well. However, a beloved movie from my youth that I didn't expect to be problematic, "Dead Poets Society," sparked some unexpected negative responses in my kids, shining a spotlight on generational differences I didn't even know existed.

I probably watched "Dead Poets Society" a dozen or more times as a teen and young adult, always finding it aesthetically beautiful, tragically sad, and profoundly inspiring. That film was one of the reasons I decided to become an English teacher, inspired as I was by Robin Williams' portrayal of the passionately unconventional English teacher, John Keating.

The way Mr. Keating shared his love of beauty and poetry with a class of high school boys at a stuffy prep school, encouraging them to "seize the day" and "suck all the marrow out of life," hit me right in my idealistic youthful heart. And when those boys stood up on their desks for him at the end of the film, defying the headmaster who held their futures in his hands? What a moving moment of triumph and support.

My Gen Z kids, however, saw the ending differently. They loved the feel of the film, which I expected with its warm, cozy, comforting vibe (at least up until the last 20 minutes or so). They loved Mr. Keating, because how can you not? But when the movie ended, I was taken aback hearing "That was terrible!" and "Why would you traumatize me like that?" before they admitted, "But it was so gooood!"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The traumatize part I get—that film gets very heavy all of a sudden. But in discussing it further, I uncovered three main generational differences that impacted their "Dead Poets Society" viewing experience and what they took away from it.

1) Gen Z sees inspiring change through a systemic lens, not an individual one

The first thing my 20-year-old said when the credits rolled was, "What? That's terrible! Nothing changed! He got fired and the school is still run by a bunch of stodgy old white men forcing everyone to conform!" My immediate response was, "Yeah, but he changed those boys' individual lives, didn't he? He helped broaden their minds and see the world differently."

I realized that Gen X youth valued individuals going against the old, outdated system and doing their own thing, whereas Gen Z values the dismantling of the system itself. For Gen X, Mr. Keating and the boys taking a stand was inspiring, but the fact that it didn't actually change anything outside of their own individual experiences stuck like a needle in my Gen Z kids' craw.

2) Gen Z isn't accustomed to being blindsided by tragic storylines with no warning

To be fair, I did tell them there was "a sad part" before the movie started. But I'd forgotten how deeply devastating the last part of the movie was, so my daughter's "Why would you do that to me?!" was somewhat warranted. "I thought maybe a dog would die or something!" she said. No one really expected one of the main characters to die by suicide and the beloved teacher protagonist to be blamed for it, but I'd somehow minimized the tragedy of it all in my memory.

But also to be fair, Gen X never got any such warnings—we were just blindsided by tragic plot twists all the time. As kids, we cheered on Atreyu trying to save his horse from the swamp in "The Neverending Story" only to watch him drown. Adults showed us "Watership Down" thinking it would be a cute little animated film about bunnies. We were slapped in the face by the tragic child death in "My Girl," which was marketed as a sweet coming of age movie.

Gen Z was raised in the era of trigger warnings and trauma-informed practices, while Gen X kids watched a teacher die on live TV in our classrooms with zero follow-up on how we were processing it. Those differences became apparent real quick at the end of this movie.

3) Gen Z fixates on boundary-crossing behavior that Gen X overlooked

The other reaction I wasn't expecting was the utter disdain my girls showed for Knox Overstreet, the sweet-but-over-eager character who fell for the football player's cheerleader girlfriend. His boundary-crossing attempts to woo her were always cringe, but for Gen X, cringe behavior in the name of love was generally either overlooked, tolerated, or sometimes even celebrated. (Standing on a girl's lawn in the middle of the night holding a full-volume stereo over your head was peak romance for Gen X, remember.) For Gen Z, the only thing worse than cringe is predatory behavior, which Knox's obsessiveness and pushiness could be seen as. My young Gen X lens saw him and said, "That's a bit much, dude. Take it down a notch or three." My Gen Z daughters' lens said, "That guy's a creepo. She needs to run far the other way."

On one hand, I was proud of them for recognizing red flag behaviors. On the other hand, I saw how little room there is for nuance in their perceptions, which was…interesting.

My Gen Z kids' reactions aren't wrong; they're just different than mine were at their age. We're usually on the same page, so seeing them have a drastically different reaction to something I loved at their age was really something. Now I'm wondering what other favorite movies from my youth I should show them to see if they view those differently as well—hopefully without them feeling traumatized by the experience.

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Progressive Insurance® donated 96 vehicles to veterans and their families as part of its ongoing commitment to driving progress on the road

Progressive has honored nearly 1,100 veterans since the inception of its Keys to Progress program in 2013.

Former medic and single mom Leah Moore and her children being honored during the 2024 Keys to Progress event.

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In 2023, Leah Moore was struggling. A single mom and former medic in the Texas Air National Guard, Leah had no family support where she lived in Seattle, WA, which made raising her two girls and working full-time a significant challenge. When her only car broke down, Leah found herself struggling more than ever.

But in 2024, Leah’s burden became a little lighter. Moore is now one of many veterans that have been honored during this year’s Keys to Progress event, an annual giveaway that took place in over 60 cities across the country. Along with Moore, close to 100 other veterans and their families recieved the keys to free, reliable transportation as a thank you for their military service.

Providing reliable transportation to deserving veterans who’ve protected our country

According to the US Department of Transportation, approximately 40 percent of veterans live in rural areas where affordable transportation options are limited. Limited transportation can greatly affect a veteran’s quality of life, since reliable transportation is necessary for work, medical care, and other services.

Gail Nicholson, a veteran who served in the United States Army during the Persian Gulf Crisis from 1993 - 1997, knows this challenge personally. Gail relied on public transportation as she supported her family since the COVID-19 pandemic when her mother fell extremely ill. As a senior citizen, traveling by bus, with schedules and lines that are not always accessible, it has not always been easy.

With veterans like Gail Nicholson in mind, Progressive founded the Keys to Progress event in 2013, hoping to alleviate some of these common struggles that veterans face every day. Now, Gail will be able to care for her family and travel freely without the need for public transit.

Veteran Gail Nicholson at the 2024 Keys to Progress event.

How the dream of independence becomes a reality

There’s no doubt that access to a car can make anyone’s life easier—but it also comes with additional expenses that require additional financial commitment. To help with this, multiple organizations have come together with Progressive to make Keys to Progress possible.

First, local charities and Veracity Research Co. Investigations (VRC), a veteran-owned and operated company, help to identify deserving veterans in each region. Once the recipients are chosen, Insurance Auto Auctions, Inc. (IAA) provides a Powertrain 12-month protection plan for all donated vehicles, while 1-800-Charity Cars donates resources to help with vehicle titling and registration. Enterprise, a rental car company, pays for the insurance for each donated vehicle for the first six months, and Progressive writes the insurance policies funded by Enterprise. Finally, the gently used vehicles are donated through Charity Cars.

The result is a well-deserved gift that enables each veteran to get back on the road and move ahead in life as easily as possible.

Supporting veterans on the road and beyond

Sometimes too, a veteran needs an assist in getting their small business off and running as well. Through Keys to Progress, Progressive has also donated three tractor trailers to worthy recipients.

Lt. Colonel Rose a 30-year U.S. Marine Corps veteran, was the 2022 recipient of a commercial through the Keys to Progress program. He shared, “Since being selected as the 2022 Keys to Progress recipient, the vehicle has exceeded all expectations of being an owner operator. Myself, including so many others, have been blessed by this magnificent machine. This blessing has catapulted my business forward, the donation of operating costs has played a significant part in minor repair costs along with being able to forgo a truck payment.”

Lt. Colonel Rose has been able to grow his trucking business to a second truck and he is working to purchase a third due to the revenue made from being a Keys to Progress recipient. He has also taken his earnings to donate to various charities and is inspired by showing his appreciation and patriotism for the United States.

But Keys to Progress is truly a passion project, and one that has impacted many deserving veterans. Collectively, Progressive has been able to donate vehicles to more than 1,100 military families, in addition to gifting three fully-loaded commercial trucks to veteran truck drivers and 28 commercial vehicles to select veteran organizations.

Cars at Progressive's annual Keys to Progress event.

“Our Keys to Progress initiative is a wonderful example of Progressive's purpose to help people move forward and live fully," said Tricia Griffith, President and Chief Executive Officer of Progressive. "We're proud to be celebrating our 12th year of supporting veterans and will present almost 100 well-deserving veterans and their families with keys to a vehicle that will provide them reliable transportation to get on the road and move forward in life."

Whether it’s for veterans like Leah or Gail, Keys to Progress is continuing to showcase its commitment to driving progress on the road and providing transportation for veterans, military-related organizations, and veteran-owned small business owners across the country for years to come.

Whether it’s for veterans like Leah, Gail, or Lt. Colonel Rose, Keys to Progress is continuing to showcase its commitment to driving progress for veterans, military-related organizations, and veteran-owned small business owners across the country for years to come.

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Boy joyfully greeting his mom at daycare pickup for five years is the cutest compilation ever

That squeal of delight is just too precious.

@TeesePeese/Twitter

A mom shared five years of daycare pickups, with her son squealing in delight every time.

There is nothing more pure in this world than the love between a child and a caring parent. But even in the world of healthy attachments and strong family bonds, this viral video takes the cake. Twitter user @TeesePeese shared a compilation of highlights showing her son's reaction at daycare pickup, and it's seriously the most precious thing ever.

"I really do love this video," she wrote. "I recorded my son's pick up almost every day and this is his reaction every single time. For his 5th bday (yesterday) I took my favorites and made a lil compilation, from infancy to just last week." The squeals. The smiles. The skipping for joy. Gracious, it doesn't get any sweeter.

Clearly that's a boy who adores his mama—and also has an adorable sense of enthusiasm.

Some new parents may worry that sending their child to daycare will negatively affect their child's attachment to them, but according to psychologist Noam Shpancer Ph.D, that worry is unfounded as long as the family environment is healthy at home.

"Available data indicate that, for most children, parental attachment processes are not disrupted by daycare participation," writes Shpancer. "Home variables, such as maternal sensitivity, are the strongest predictors of parent-child attachment, even for daycare children."

Clearly this kiddo's parent-child attachment hasn't suffered from being in daycare. Research also shows what common sense should also tell us—the quality of daycare matters.

Unfortunately, quality daycare can be prohibitively expensive, which is why the proposed affordable childcare provisions in the Build Back Better plan are a huge deal. Millions of parents have to work to support their families and middle-class American families spend an average of 14% of their income on childcare—double what the limit would be under the Build Back Better framework. And the U.S. is an outlier in this area. According to The New York Times, other wealthy nations contribute an average of $14,000 per year for a toddler's child care costs, while the U.S. contributes merely $500.

The virtues of stay-at-home motherhood versus working motherhood have been debated for decades, but no one can deny that childcare should be high quality and affordable whether a parent chooses to work or has to work. I was able to and chose to stay home during my kids' early childhoods, but I would be thrilled for my tax dollars to go toward helping all families get the support and childcare they need to make their individual situations work.

At any rate, love seeing kiddos loving on their mamas, especially ones with infectious grins and delight-filled squeals. Thanks for capturing your sweet boy's joy and sharing it with the rest of us @TeesePeese. You brought a smile to so many faces that needed it.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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He's Italian. She's American. Their delightful love story has won the hearts of millions.

Carlo and Sarah share the quirks of combining cultures.

Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

Carlo and Sarah share their cross-cultural relationship hilarities on TikTok.

When cultures come together, sometimes it can be challenging, sometimes it can be beautiful and sometimes it can be hilarious. For one couple, highlighting the hilarity of their American-Italian love story has endeared them to millions of people around the world.

It all started when Sarah, who is American, went to southern Italy to visit family members who live there. Carlo worked as a lifeguard at the beach club his family owns where Sarah's family would go. He barely spoke English, but he asked Sarah on a date in the summer of 2019. They basically became inseparable for the rest of the summer.

Sarah returned to the U.S. and Carlo surprised her with a month-long visit in the fall. Their long-distance relationship was supposed to get a reprieve when she was to return to Italy in May 2020, but pandemic travel restrictions destroyed that plan.

They ended up meeting up in Ireland during the summer of 2020, one of the only places allowing both Americans and Italians to travel. That's where Carlo proposed.

Their wedding plans also got thwarted by COVID-19. They got married in Italy, but without Sarah's family and friends able to attend. They had their second wedding, with family and friends in attendance in October 2022 in the U.S.

- YouTube

But their cute love story is only one part of why they've grown a following of 4 million people on TikTok alone. The cross-cultural nature of their relationship regularly creates hilarious moments, from Carlo's confusion over English words and phrases to Sarah committing Italian food faux pas just to see his reactions.

@carloandsarah

@justinbaldoni @wayfarerstudios this is my #lovestory 🤍 #LoveWithNoLimits #longdistance #ldr #couple

Their playful energy is delightful, but people also can't get over Carlo calling Sarah "my love" over and over again.

In one of their first mega-viral videos, which has nearly 100 million views, Sarah breaks the pasta in half before she puts it into the water—a totally typical American thing to do—and Carlo nearly has a heart attack.

@carloandsarah

did someone say... DRAMA??? 🤣

Or how about the time Sarah suggested that she ask for pineapple on her pizza while in Italy and Carlo basically said he'd be forced to move out of the country if she did that?

@carloandsarah

Carlo has had it with me🤣

Italians have far more superstitious beliefs about luck than Americans do, which come out frequently in Sarah and Carlo's videos. For instance, you're not supposed to put a loaf of bread top-side down. And if you get a new car, you're supposed to put a jar of salt in the car to ward off "malocchio" (evil eye/bad luck).

@carloandsarah

YOU WANT MALOCCHIO?!🌶😡

Carlo's English has come a long way since they met—he started learning the language because he was interested in Sarah—but as with anyone learning any language, there are sometimes some funny misunderstandings.

For instance, calling a tall building a "scratchy sky."

@carloandsarah

Gelato with a nice view of scratchy sky😩😂

Or mistaken a seed for a seaman or…something else.

@carloandsarah

the SEA MAN😩🐟

There's often some confusion around which words are appropriate and which words aren't, which is illustrated no more clearly than how Carlo reacted to saying the word "peacock."

@carloandsarah

THE WAY HE YELLED IT💀

Cultures may clash sometimes, but cross-cultural relationships can also create humorous moments that highlight the human side of all of us.

Sarah and Carlo even came up with a way to "fight" without having to understand one another's languages at all.

@carloandsarah

You should try it out💀

You can follow Sarah and Carlo on TikTok, YouTube and Instagram.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Health

Interesting video explains why people looked a lot older in the past than they do today

Were people unhealthy? Did they spend too much time in the sun?

via Vsauce/YouTube

Norm was only in his 30s?

Ever look at your parents' high school yearbooks and think people looked so much older back then? All of the teenagers look like they’re in their mid-30s and the teachers who are 50 look like they’re 80. When we watch older movies, even those from the 1980s, the teenagers appear to be a lot older as well. Why is it that they looked so much older? Was life harder? Did people act more mature? Did they spend more time outdoors and less time playing video games? Is it their sense of fashion? Were they all smokers?

Educator Michael Stevens, who runs the super-popular Vsauce YouTube channel, explains the phenomenon in a new video called, “Did people used to look older?” In the video, he explains that people in the past appear a lot older due to a phenomenon known as retrospective aging.

When we see people in the past, they are wearing outdated styles that we associate with older people; therefore, we think they have aged rapidly. For example, a teenager in the 1950s may have been in fashion while wearing thick Buddy Holly-style glasses.

But as people age, they tend to cling to the fashion of their youth. So many people of that generation continued to wear the Buddy Holly-style glasses into their 50s. So when younger people see those glasses they see them as old people's glasses and not a hip kid from the '50s.

So in the photo from the '50s, the teen appears to look a lot older because our perspective has been tainted by time.

But it isn’t all just an illusion. Stevens also points out that people did age faster back in the day due to differences in nutrition, lifestyle and medicine.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Joy

Woman who lives on a cruise ship shares the hardest part about her perfect life

She's a little afraid to leave her cabin.

via Christine Kesteloo/TikTok and Cagri Gurbuz/Pexels

Christine Kesteloo has one big problem living on a cruise ship.

A lot of folks would love to trade lives with Christine Kesteloo. Her husband is the Chief Engineer on a cruise ship, so she gets to live on the boat pretty much for free as the “wife on board.” For Christine, life is a lot like living on a permanent vacation.

“I live on a cruise ship for half the year with my husband, and it's often as glamorous as it sounds,” she told Insider. “After all, I don't cook, clean, make my bed, do laundry or pay for food.“

Living an all-inclusive lifestyle seems like paradise, but it has some drawbacks. Having access to all-you-can-eat food all day long can really have an effect on one’s waistline. Kesteloo admits that living on a cruise ship takes a lot of self-discipline because the temptation is always right under her nose.

“One of the hardest things about living on a cruise ship is that I know right now, if I just leave my cabin, I can go and have cookies, pizza, a shake, I could have anything I wanted, and I want it, I absolutely want it,” she said in a TikTok video that received over 400,000 views.

@dutchworld_americangirl

The hardest part about living on a cruise ship is that I am surrounded by free food all of the time anything I want I just had lunch but it’s 2 o’clock in my body tells me it’s either cookie time or time for a hamburger. The hardest part is telling myself not to eat. #hardestpart #cruiseship #livingatsea #koningsdam #weliveonacruiseship #cruisefoodie #foodtok #itsaproblem #halcruises #hollandamericaline

“I am laying here. It is 2 pm. I had a salad for lunch, I had some fresh fruit, but that didn’t fill me up,” she continued. “Right now, all I can think about is eating a burger with some French fries and some mayonnaise.”

“And that, folks, is the absolute hardest part about living on a cruise ship,” she said. “I am surrounded by food all the time.”

She added, "The hardest part is telling myself not to eat.”

Kesteloo’s trouble is a common problem among people on cruise ships. A study by Admiral Travel Insurance found that over 60% of people who go on a week-long cruise anticipate gaining weight. Seventeen percent of people say they gain 2 to 3 pounds on a cruise, while 14% say they gain 4 to 5 pounds.

Other estimates show that the average cruiser will put on 5 to 10 pounds on a weeklong cruise. Imagine living on a cruise ship for half the year, like Kesteloo. She could quickly put on 100 pounds a year if she's not careful.

"I’d be huge if I lived there. I would feel like I’m on a constant vacation, and who diets on vacation?" Theresa Gramelsapcker-Wilson wrote in the comments.

"This is my main reason why I couldn’t do this HHAHAHAHAHAA," Cara Mia added.

"I never thought about those who actually live on a cruise ship. I would be 500 pounds," Lucky Penny2468 said.

Kesteloo’s battle with temptation shows that in every life, a little rain must fall. Nobody ever truly has it perfect. Kesteloo seems to be living the perfect life on board a cruise ship, but she still has to fight temptation every moment of the day or make good use of the ship’s gym facilities. But, obviously, having access to too much food is far better than having too little.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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