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A PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM UPWORTHY
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Family

9 things to know about kids in foster care. Plus an unforgettable view into their lives.

Foster care is a nightmare for some kids and their foster parents. For others, it's a blessing.

foster care, foster care facts, zoe removed

A clip from "ReMoved Part Two"



Zoe's story, "Removed," has been seen by millions of people.

It was previously shared by my amazing Upworthy colleague Laura Willard. We got just a tiny taste of what it was like for kids in foster care, right after being removed. Specifically, a little girl named Zoe and her little brother Benaiah.

My wife and I, foster parents for the past year, even shared the original with our adoption worker, who passed it along to the entire agency and, then, it took off like wildfire among those people as well.

This is part 2 of that story, and it hits hard.

(Yes, the video's on the long side at about 20 minutes. But it's worth the watch to the end.)

She describes her life as a cycle, interrupted by a tornado. She's a foster child. I don't think I need to say any more.


So ... let's accompany that with 9 uncomfortable — but enlightening — facts below. There are only nine bolded, but within those headers, there are several more facts.

1. There are an estimated 400,000 kids in foster care right now.

Some are awaiting adoption. Some will go back to their parents. Others will age out or, sometimes, run away.

2. Foster kids can suffer from PTSD at almost two times the rate of returning veterans.

And PTSD can mimic a lot of other mental illnesses, and it can manifest as nightmares, flashbacks, fight-or-flee responses, anger outbursts, and hyper-vigilance (being on "red alert" at all times), among other symptoms.

Image via Nathaniel Matanick.


3. The average age of a foster child is 9 years old.

They're just on that edge of childhood, and chances are, it's been a pretty messed up childhood at that. Trauma does that.

4. About half of all foster kids are in non-relative foster homes.

8% are in institutions, 6% are in group homes, and only 4% are in pre-adoptive homes. Read that again — only 4% are in pre-adoptive homes.

5. Some of foster children experience multiple placements. In some cases, eight or more.

That's eight homes that they move into — and out of. And just consider ... that means they lose not just adults and other kids with whom they are establishing a bond, but friends, schoolmates, pets.

Clip via Nathaniel Matanick


6. The average foster child remains in the system for almost two years before being reunited with their biological parents, adopted, aging out, or other outcomes.

8% of them remain in foster care for over five years. Of the 238,000 foster kids who left the system in 2013, about half were reunited with parents or primary caregivers, 21% were adopted, 15% went to live with a relative or other guardian, and 10% were emancipated (aged out).

7. In 2013, more than 23,000 young people aged out of foster care with no permanent family to end up with.

And if you add that up, year after year, hundreds of thousands of foster youth will have aged out of the system. What does that look like? "You're 18. You've got no place to live and no family. Good luck — buh-bye now!" One-quarter of former foster kids experience homelessness within four years of exiting the system.

8. Foster "alumni" (those who have been in foster homes and either adopted, returned to parents, or aged out) are likely to suffer serious mental health consequences.

They are four-five times more likely to be hospitalized for attempting suicide and five-eight times more likely to be hospitalized for serious psychiatric disorders in their teens.

Based on that set of statistics alone, it's in the public's interest (ignoring, for a second, the interests of those kids) to help them through their lot in life and spend resources making it all work much better for everybody before it gets to that point. Right?

So there's a lot to be angry about in this whole messed up situation. But this next thing? My blood boils.

What's one of the biggest risk factors in families whose children are placed in foster care?

Your guess?

Cruelty?

Drugs?

Sexual abuse?

Neglect?

The answer is ...

9. Poverty

Together with homelessness and unemployment, it's a main contributing factor. It happens all the time. The fact that it's far easier for a parent to be accused and investigated for neglect or abuse because of simple things like lack of access to a vehicle, or a working refrigerator, or the ability to get a kid to a doctor's appointment — that has a lot to do with this. Tie that to the link between drug abuse and poverty and between poverty and child abuse ... well, you can see where this is going.

And in a country where one-third of children are living in poverty (hint: the good ol' U.S. of A.), imagine how that affects the number of kids being removed and placed into foster care.

I'll end this with a bit of hope through my story.

My kids went through something a lot like the kids in the clip above before they came to live with us. We've been through the ringer in ways that we're going to have to talk about one day because it's not just that the kids have been challenging — they have — it's that the system itself has been more challenging.

The entire system — from agencies to government entities to social workers to even the schools — seems like it's designed to fail these kids and the families who are attempting to help. It's almost designed not to work. There, I said it.

But that doesn't mean we won't fight to make it better for everybody. We most definitely will.

Image from a photo by my wife, Robin.

As for us, we're just a few weeks away from becoming the legal parents to these kids, and we're extremely happy to be right here, making it happen. And they seem quite happy to be our kids. Along the way, we fell in love with them, and we can't imagine life without them.

But to be totally honest ... if we'd have known how hard it was going to be when we started this journey, and if we could somehow turn back the clock and NOT do it ... well, would we have actually gone forward with the process?

I take that back. I won't be totally honest here. I will simply let you decide.

Here are some places to help, if you're so inclined.

        • AdoptUsKids.org is a place to start if you're considering fostering or adopting.
        • My Stuff Bags is a really cool and inexpensive way to help foster kids by gifting them actual luggage, duffel bags, and more, so that they don't travel from home to home with garbage bags for their belongings — or nothing at all.
        • CASA for Children offers legal help and advocates for foster kids through a network of volunteers.

        This story was written by Brandon Weber and originally appeared on 07.17.15

        Ileah Parker (left) and Alexis Vandecoevering (right)

        True

        At 16, Alexis Vandecoevering already knew she wanted to work in the fire department. Having started out as a Junior Firefighter and spending her time on calls as a volunteer with the rest of her family, she’s set herself up for a successful career as either a firefighter or EMT from a young age.

        Ileah Parker also leaned into her career interests at an early age. By 16, she had completed an internship with Nationwide Children’s Hospital, learning about Information Technology, Physical Therapy, Engineering, and Human Resources in healthcare, which allowed her to explore potential future pathways. She’s also a member of Eryn PiNK, an empowerment and mentoring program for black girls and young women.

        While these commitments might sound like a lot for a teenager, it all comes down to school/life balance. This wouldn’t be possible for Alexis or Ileah without attending Pearson’s Connections Academy, a tuition-free online public school available in 31 states across the U.S., that not only helps students get ready for college but dive straight into college coursework and get a head start on career training as well.

        “Connections Academy allowed me extensive flexibility, encouraged growth in all aspects of my life, whether academic, interpersonal, or financial, and let me explore options for my future career, schooling, and extracurricular endeavors,” said Ileah.

        A recent survey by Connections Academy of over 1,000 students in grades 8-12 and over 1,000 parents or guardians across the U.S., highlights the importance of school/life balance when it comes to leading a fulfilling and successful life. The results show that students’ perception of their school/life balance has a significant impact on their time to consider career paths, with 76% of those with excellent or good school/life balance indicating they know what career path they are most interested in pursuing versus only 62% of those who have a fair to very poor school/life balance.

        Additionally, students who report having a good or excellent school/life balance are more likely than their peers to report having a grade point average in the A-range (57% vs 35% of students with fair to very poor balance).

        At Connections Academy, teens get guidance navigating post-secondary pathways, putting them in the best possible position for college and their careers. Connections Academy’s College and Career Readiness offering for middle and high school students connects them with employers, internships and clubs in Healthcare, IT, and Business.


        “At Connections Academy, we are big proponents of encouraging students to think outside of the curriculum” added Dr. Lorna Bryant, Senior Director of Career Solutions in Pearson’s Virtual Learning division. “While academics are still very important, bringing in more career and college exposure opportunities to students during middle and high school can absolutely contribute to a more well-rounded school/life balance and help jumpstart that career search process.”

        High school students can lean into career readiness curriculum by taking courses that meet their required high school credits, while also working toward micro-credentials through Coursera, and getting college credit applicable toward 150 bachelor’s degree programs in the U.S.

        Alexis Vandecoevering in her firefighter uniform

        Alexis, a Class of 2024 graduate, and Ileah, set to start her senior year with Connections Academy, are on track to land careers they’re passionate about, which is a key driver behind career decisions amongst students today.

        Of the students surveyed who know what career field they want to pursue, passion and genuine interest is the most commonly given reasoning for both male and female students (54% and 66%, respectively).

        Parents can support their kids with proper school/life balance by sharing helpful resources relating to their career interests. According to the survey, 48% of students want their parents to help them find jobs and 43% want their parents to share resources like reading materials relating to their chosen field.

        While teens today have more challenges than ever to navigate, including an ever-changing job market, maintaining school/life balance and being given opportunities to explore career paths at an early age are sure to help them succeed.

        Learn more about Connections Academy’s expanded College and Career Readiness offering here.

        Pop Culture

        Here’s a paycheck for a McDonald’s worker. And here's my jaw dropping to the floor.

        So we've all heard the numbers, but what does that mean in reality? Here's one year's wages — yes, *full-time* wages. Woo.

        Making a little over 10,000 for a yearly salary.


        I've written tons of things about minimum wage, backed up by fact-checkers and economists and scholarly studies. All of them point to raising the minimum wage as a solution to lifting people out of poverty and getting folks off of public assistance. It's slowly happening, and there's much more to be done.

        But when it comes right down to it, where the rubber meets the road is what it means for everyday workers who have to live with those wages. I honestly don't know how they do it.


        Ask yourself: Could I live on this small of a full-time paycheck? I know what my answer is.

        (And note that the minimum wage in many parts of the county is STILL $7.25, so it would be even less than this).

        paychecks, McDonalds, corporate power, broken system

        One year of work at McDonalds grossed this worker $13,811.18.

        assets.rebelmouse.io

        This story was written by Brandon Weber and was originally appeared on 02.26.15

        Sponsored

        3 organic recipes that feed a family of 4 for under $7 a serving

        O Organics is the rare brand that provides high-quality food at affordable prices.

        A woman cooking up a nice pot of pasta.

        Over the past few years, rising supermarket prices have forced many families to make compromises on ingredient quality when shopping for meals. A recent study published by Supermarket News found that 41% of families with children were more likely to switch to lower-quality groceries to deal with inflation.

        By comparison, 29% of people without children have switched to lower-quality groceries to cope with rising prices.

        Despite the current rising costs of groceries, O Organics has enabled families to consistently enjoy high-quality, organic meals at affordable prices for nearly two decades. With a focus on great taste and health, O Organics offers an extensive range of options for budget-conscious consumers.

        O Organics launched in 2005 with 150 USDA Certified Organic products but now offers over 1,500 items, from organic fresh fruits and vegetables to organic dairy and meats, organic cage-free certified eggs, organic snacks, organic baby food and more. This gives families the ability to make a broader range of recipes featuring organic ingredients than ever before.


        “We believe every customer should have access to affordable, organic options that support healthy lifestyles and diverse shopping preferences,” shared Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal.”

        With some help from our friends at O Organics, Upworthy looked at the vast array of products available at our local store and created some tasty, affordable and healthy meals.

        Here are 3 meals for a family of 4 that cost $7 and under, per serving. (Note: prices may vary by location and are calculated before sales tax.)

        O Organic’s Tacos and Refried Beans ($6.41 Per Serving)

        Few dishes can make a family rush to the dinner table quite like tacos. Here’s a healthy and affordable way to spice up your family’s Taco Tuesdays.

        Prep time: 2 minutes

        Cook time: 20 minutes

        Total time: 22 minutes

        Ingredients:

        1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)

        1 packet O Organics Taco Seasoning ($2.29)

        O Organics Mexican-Style Cheese Blend Cheese ($4.79)

        O Organics Chunky Salsa ($3.99)

        O Organics Taco Shells ($4.29)

        1 can of O Organics Refried Beans ($2.29)

        Instructions:

        1. Cook the ground beef in a skillet over medium heat until thoroughly browned; remove any excess grease.

        2. Add 1 packet of taco seasoning to beef along with water [and cook as directed].

        3. Add taco meat to the shell, top with cheese and salsa as desired.

        4. Heat refried beans in a saucepan until cooked through, serve alongside tacos, top with cheese.

        tacos, o organics, family recipesO Organics Mexican-style blend cheese.via O Organics

        O Organics Hamburger Stew ($4.53 Per Serving)

        Busy parents will love this recipe that allows them to prep in the morning and then serve a delicious, slow-cooked stew after work.

        Prep time: 15 minutes

        Cook time: 7 hours

        Total time: 7 hours 15 minutes

        Servings: 4

        Ingredients:

        1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)

        1 ½ lbs O Organics Gold Potatoes ($4.49)

        3 O Organics Carrots ($2.89)

        1 tsp onion powder

        I can O Organics Tomato Paste ($1.25)

        2 cups water

        1 yellow onion diced ($1.00)

        1 clove garlic ($.50)

        1 tsp salt

        1/4 tsp pepper

        2 tsp Italian seasoning or oregano

        Instructions:

        1. Cook the ground beef in a skillet over medium heat until thoroughly browned; remove any excess grease.

        2. Transfer the cooked beef to a slow cooker with the potatoes, onions, carrots and garlic.

        3. Mix the tomato paste, water, salt, pepper, onion powder and Italian seasoning in a separate bowl.

        4. Drizzle the mixed sauce over the ingredients in the slow cooker and mix thoroughly.

        5. Cover the slow cooker with its lid and set it on low for 7 to 8 hours, or until the potatoes are soft. Dish out into bowls and enjoy!

        potatoes, o organics, hamburger stewO Organics baby gold potatoes.via O Organics


        O Organics Ground Beef and Pasta Skillet ($4.32 Per Serving)

        This one-pan dish is for all Italian lovers who are looking for a saucy, cheesy, and full-flavored comfort dish that takes less than 30 minutes to prepare.

        Prep time: 2 minutes

        Cook time: 25 minutes

        Total time: 27 minutes

        Servings: 4

        Ingredients:

        1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)

        1 tbsp. olive oil

        2 tsp dried basil

        1 tsp garlic powder

        1 can O Organics Diced Tomatoes ($2.00)

        1 can O Organics Tomato Sauce ($2.29)

        1 tbsp O Organics Tomato Paste ($1.25)

        2 1/4 cups water

        2 cups O Organics Rotini Pasta ($3.29)

        1 cup O Organics Mozzarella cheese ($4.79)

        Instructions:

        1. Brown ground beef in a skillet, breaking it up as it cooks.

        2. Sprinkle with salt, pepper and garlic powder

        3. Add tomato paste, sauce and diced tomatoes to the skillet. Stir in water and bring to a light boil.

        4. Add pasta to the skillet, ensuring it is well coated. Cover and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

        5. Remove the lid, sprinkle with cheese and allow it to cool.

        o organics, tomato basil pasta sauce, olive oilO Organics tomato basil pasta sauce and extra virgin olive oil.via O Organics

        Joy

        Family posts a very chill note to neighbors explaining why their dog is on the roof

        “We appreciate your concern but please do not knock on our door.."

        via Reddit

        Meet Huckleberry the dog.

        If you were taking a stroll through a quiet neighborhood and happened to catch a glance of this majestic sight, you might bat an eye. You might do a double take. If you were (somewhat understandably) concerned about this surprising roof-dog's welfare, you might even approach the homeowners to tell them, "Uh, I'm not sure if you know...but there's a...dog...on your ROOF."

        Well, the family inside is aware that there's often a dog on their roof. It's their pet Golden, Huckleberry, and he just sorta likes it up there.


        To put passersby at ease and ebb the parade of concerned parties knocking on their door, Huckleberry's human put up a note explaining the whole weird scenario to those interested:

        pet tricks, Reddit, animals, #hucktheroofdog

        There’s a dog on the wooof!

        via Reddit

        It reads:

        "Huckleberry is living up to his name and learned how to jump onto our roof from the backyard. We never leave him in the backyard without someone being at home. He will not jump off unless you entice him with food or a ball!""

        We appreciate your concern but please do not knock on our door... we know he's up there! But please feel free to take pictures of him and share with the world! #hucktheroofdog."

        Of course, they ended it with a hashtag for photos shared on social media. Also, it seems a little strange that the owners mention that Huck is willing to jump 10 feet off a roof to chase food or a ball, but do nothing to suggest that people refrain from urging their dog to make that (seemingly dangerous) leap. Maybe Huck's got the whole process down to the point it's just not a concern.

        This may seem like a pretty odd phenomenon, but not so odd that there isn't a whole corner of Reddit devoted to dogs who just seem to really, really enjoy roofs. It's called r/dogsonroofs, and boy does it ever deliver on that name.


        This article originally appeared on 12.05.18

        Democracy

        This Map Reveals The True Value Of $100 In Each State

        Your purchasing power can swing by 30% from state to state.

        Image by Tax Foundation.

        Map represents the value of 100 dollars.


        As the cost of living in large cities continues to rise, more and more people are realizing that the value of a dollar in the United States is a very relative concept. For decades, cost of living indices have sought to address and benchmark the inconsistencies in what money will buy, but they are often so specific as to prevent a holistic picture or the ability to "browse" the data based on geographic location.

        The Tax Foundation addressed many of these shortcomings using the most recent (2015) Bureau of Economic Analysis data to provide a familiar map of the United States overlaid with the relative value of what $100 is "worth" in each state. Granted, going state-by-state still introduces a fair amount of "smoothing" into the process — $100 will go farther in Los Angeles than in Fresno, for instance — but it does provide insight into where the value lies.


        The map may not subvert one's intuitive assumptions, but it nonetheless quantities and presents the cost of living by geography in a brilliantly simple way. For instance, if you're looking for a beach lifestyle but don't want to pay California prices, try Florida, which is about as close to "average" — in terms of purchasing power, anyway — as any state in the Union. If you happen to find yourself in a "Brewster's Millions"-type situation, head to Hawaii, D.C., or New York. You'll burn through your money in no time.

        income, money, economics, national average

        The Relative Value of $100 in a state.

        Image by Tax Foundation.

        If you're quite fond of your cash and would prefer to keep it, get to Mississippi, which boasts a 16.1% premium on your cash from the national average.

        The Tax Foundation notes that if you're using this map for a practical purpose, bear in mind that incomes also tend to rise in similar fashion, so one could safely assume that wages in these states are roughly inverse to the purchasing power $100 represents.


        This article originally appeared on 08.17.17

        Pop Culture

        Listen to this organ in Croatia that uses the sea to make hauntingly beautiful music

        It's a 230-foot-long organ that turns the rhythm of the waves into actual music.


        In 2005, a Croatian architect designed a 230-foot-long organ that turns the rhythm of the waves into actual music.

        Nope, not nonsensical bellows or chaotic tones. Real, actual, music.


        Most of us have never seen, or heard, anything like it.

        Imagine walking along the picturesque Adriatic Sea, treading lightly on a set of white stone steps as a cool breeze rolls past.

        Carved into the steps are narrow channels that connect to 35 organ pipes, each tuned to different meticulously arranged musical chords.

        As the waves lap against the steps, they push air through the pipes and out whistle-holes in the surface above, making a harmonious and completely random musical arrangement.

        But you don't see what's happening below the surface. You close your eyes and all you hear is a song like you've never heard before, one completely unique to the movement of the sea at that exact moment.

        Take a listen: Here's what it sounded like at one particular moment, on one particular day. On any other day, it might sound completely different.

        (Hit the orange button to hear it.)

        Pretty amazing, right?

        The Sea Organ, or the Morske Orgulje, is an incredible feat of architecture designed to bring life back to one of the world's oldest cities.

        Photo by Lisa/Flickr

        assets.rebelmouse.io

        Zadar, a 3,000-year-old city on the coast of Croatia, was almost completely destroyed in World War II –– so many of its ancient landmarks lost forever. Years after a rebuilding that featured lots of plain, concrete structures, award-winning architect Nikola Bašić was brought in to bring some delight back to the coastline.

        That's when he came up with the idea.

        No doubt he was inspired by the hydraulis — a nifty little instrument built by the ancient Greeks that used water to push air through tuned pipes — or even the Wave Organ in San Francisco — a set of curved tubes built in the 1980s that amplify the gurgles and howls of the Pacific Ocean.

        But the intricate design of the Sea Organ is what sets it apart and makes it truly something to marvel at.


        This article originally appeared on 11.06.15

        Pop Culture

        A comic about wearing makeup goes from truthful to weird in 4 panels.

        A hilariously truthful (and slightly weird) explanation of the "too much makeup" conundrum.

        Image set by iri-draws/Tumblr, used with permission.

        A comic shows the evolution or devolution from with makeup to without.

        Even though I don't wear very much makeup, every few days or so SOMEONE...

        (friends, family, internet strangers)

        ...will weigh in on why I "don't need makeup."


        Now, I realize this is meant as a compliment, but this comic offers a hilariously truthful (and slightly weird) explanation of the "too much makeup" conundrum.

        social norms, social pressure, friendship, self esteem

        “Why do you wear so much makeup?"

        Image set by iri-draws/Tumblr, used with permission.

        passive aggressive, ego, confidence, beauty

        “See, you look pretty without all that makeup on."

        Image set by iri-draws/Tumblr, used with permission.

        expectations, beauty products, mascara, lipstick

        “Wow you look tired, are you sick?"

        Image set by iri-draws/Tumblr, used with permission.

        lizards, face-painting, hobbies, hilarious comic

        When I shed my human skin...

        Image set by iri-draws/Tumblr, used with permission.

        Not everyone is able to turn into a badass lizard when someone asks about their face-painting hobbies. Don't you kinda wish you could? Just to drive this hilarious comic all the way home, here are four reasons why some women* wear makeup:

        *Important side note: Anyone can wear makeup. Not just women. True story.

        Four reasons some women* wear makeup:

        1. Her cat-eye game is on point.

        mascara, eyes, confidence

        Her cat-eye game is on point.

        Via makeupproject.

        2. She has acne or acne scars.

        acne, cover up, scarring, medical health

        She has acne or acne scars.

        Via Carly Humbert.

        3. Pink lipstick.

        lipstick, beauty products, basics, self-expression

        Yes, pink lipstick.

        Via Destiny Godley

        4. She likes wearing makeup.

        appearance, enhancement, creative expression

        Happy to be going out and feeling good.

        Happy Going Out GIF by Much.

        While some people may think putting on makeup is a chore, it can be really fun! For some, makeup is an outlet for creativity and self-expression. For others, it's just a way to feel good about themselves and/or enhance their favorite features.

        That's why it feels kinda icky when someone says something along the lines of "You don't need so much makeup!" Now, it's arguable that no one "needs" makeup, but everyone deserves to feel good about the way they look.

        For some people, feeling good about their appearance includes wearing makeup. And that's totally OK.


        This article originally appeared on 05.28.15