upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Family

9 things to know about kids in foster care. Plus an unforgettable view into their lives.

Foster care is a nightmare for some kids and their foster parents. For others, it's a blessing.

foster care, foster care facts, zoe removed
Image via Nathaniel Matanick

A clip from "ReMoved Part Two"



Zoe's story, "Removed," has been seen by millions of people.

It was previously shared by my amazing Upworthy colleague Laura Willard. We got just a tiny taste of what it was like for kids in foster care, right after being removed. Specifically, a little girl named Zoe and her little brother Benaiah.

My wife and I, foster parents for the past year, even shared the original with our adoption worker, who passed it along to the entire agency and, then, it took off like wildfire among those people as well.

This is part 2 of that story, and it hits hard.

(Yes, the video's on the long side at about 20 minutes. But it's worth the watch to the end.)

She describes her life as a cycle, interrupted by a tornado. She's a foster child. I don't think I need to say any more.

So ... let's accompany that with 9 uncomfortable — but enlightening — facts below. There are only nine bolded, but within those headers, there are several more facts.

1. There are an estimated 400,000 kids in foster care right now.

Some are awaiting adoption. Some will go back to their parents. Others will age out or, sometimes, run away.

2. Foster kids can suffer from PTSD at almost two times the rate of returning veterans.

And PTSD can mimic a lot of other mental illnesses, and it can manifest as nightmares, flashbacks, fight-or-flee responses, anger outbursts, and hyper-vigilance (being on "red alert" at all times), among other symptoms.

Image via Nathaniel Matanick.


3. The average age of a foster child is 9 years old.

They're just on that edge of childhood, and chances are, it's been a pretty messed up childhood at that. Trauma does that.

4. About half of all foster kids are in non-relative foster homes.

8% are in institutions, 6% are in group homes, and only 4% are in pre-adoptive homes. Read that again — only 4% are in pre-adoptive homes.

5. Some of foster children experience multiple placements. In some cases, eight or more.

That's eight homes that they move into — and out of. And just consider ... that means they lose not just adults and other kids with whom they are establishing a bond, but friends, schoolmates, pets.

Clip via Nathaniel Matanick


6. The average foster child remains in the system for almost two years before being reunited with their biological parents, adopted, aging out, or other outcomes.

8% of them remain in foster care for over five years. Of the 238,000 foster kids who left the system in 2013, about half were reunited with parents or primary caregivers, 21% were adopted, 15% went to live with a relative or other guardian, and 10% were emancipated (aged out).

7. In 2013, more than 23,000 young people aged out of foster care with no permanent family to end up with.

And if you add that up, year after year, hundreds of thousands of foster youth will have aged out of the system. What does that look like? "You're 18. You've got no place to live and no family. Good luck — buh-bye now!" One-quarter of former foster kids experience homelessness within four years of exiting the system.

8. Foster "alumni" (those who have been in foster homes and either adopted, returned to parents, or aged out) are likely to suffer serious mental health consequences.

They are four-five times more likely to be hospitalized for attempting suicide and five-eight times more likely to be hospitalized for serious psychiatric disorders in their teens.

Based on that set of statistics alone, it's in the public's interest (ignoring, for a second, the interests of those kids) to help them through their lot in life and spend resources making it all work much better for everybody before it gets to that point. Right?

So there's a lot to be angry about in this whole messed up situation. But this next thing? My blood boils.

What's one of the biggest risk factors in families whose children are placed in foster care?

Your guess?

Cruelty?

Drugs?

Sexual abuse?

Neglect?

The answer is ...

9. Poverty

Together with homelessness and unemployment, it's a main contributing factor. It happens all the time. The fact that it's far easier for a parent to be accused and investigated for neglect or abuse because of simple things like lack of access to a vehicle, or a working refrigerator, or the ability to get a kid to a doctor's appointment — that has a lot to do with this. Tie that to the link between drug abuse and poverty and between poverty and child abuse ... well, you can see where this is going.

And in a country where one-third of children are living in poverty (hint: the good ol' U.S. of A.), imagine how that affects the number of kids being removed and placed into foster care.

I'll end this with a bit of hope through my story.

My kids went through something a lot like the kids in the clip above before they came to live with us. We've been through the ringer in ways that we're going to have to talk about one day because it's not just that the kids have been challenging — they have — it's that the system itself has been more challenging.

The entire system — from agencies to government entities to social workers to even the schools — seems like it's designed to fail these kids and the families who are attempting to help. It's almost designed not to work. There, I said it.

But that doesn't mean we won't fight to make it better for everybody. We most definitely will.

Image from a photo by my wife, Robin.

As for us, we're just a few weeks away from becoming the legal parents to these kids, and we're extremely happy to be right here, making it happen. And they seem quite happy to be our kids. Along the way, we fell in love with them, and we can't imagine life without them.

But to be totally honest ... if we'd have known how hard it was going to be when we started this journey, and if we could somehow turn back the clock and NOT do it ... well, would we have actually gone forward with the process?

I take that back. I won't be totally honest here. I will simply let you decide.

Here are some places to help, if you're so inclined.

        • AdoptUsKids.org is a place to start if you're considering fostering or adopting.
        • My Stuff Bags is a really cool and inexpensive way to help foster kids by gifting them actual luggage, duffel bags, and more, so that they don't travel from home to home with garbage bags for their belongings — or nothing at all.
        • CASA for Children offers legal help and advocates for foster kids through a network of volunteers.

        This story was written by Brandon Weber and originally appeared on 07.17.15

        From Your Site Articles
        foster care
        FamilyKids
        Badge
        All In
        Craveable snacks. Quality organic ingredients. Positive community impact.
        Pop Culture

        All In: 5 Ways This Week

        From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples we found this week across the internet.

        5 ways people are going "All In" this week
        5 ways people are going "All In" this week
        5 ways people are going "All In" this week
        True

        When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a Dancing with the Stars trend gone viral or maybe bridesmaids who fully supportive of the bride's favorite movie (and recreates an iconic scene). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Someone who does something with 100 percent total commitment. Going “all in” means giving your all—going completely over the top, no second guessing, no holding back. Just full-throttle enthusiasm, with some flair and creativity thrown in. And when people go “all in,” something truly special usually happens as a result.


        The internet abounds with examples of people giving it their all—whatever it is. In this roundup, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in”—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Some are sentimental, some are silly, but all of them are a reminder that giving 100 percent is truly the only way to leave a mark on this world. Get ready: These folks didn’t just show up, they went all in.

        1. An Iconic "snow-coaster"

        One thing about going all in - it can be crazy and childish at times. That’s something that makes going all in special, connecting with that side of you that takes things less seriously in order to have some fun. Shira Goldstone and her husband took to that mindset when it started snowing in their backyard. Shira’s husband picked up planks of wood (and whatever other tools are required) and within the same night, in the falling snow, built a “snow-coaster” for the two of them to play on.

        2. A Truck That's Feeding It's Community

        You already know our friends at All In—they’ve got some seriously tasty snacks that are not only healthy and affordable (scroll to the bottom of this article to see how you can snag a free bar), they help fund food banks, gardens, community fridges, meal programs, and other amazing things

        For Giving Tuesday, All In teamed up with Fresh Truck, a weekly mobile market that brings fresh and affordable produce to neighborhoods in the Boston area. Fresh truck hosts weekly markets, pop-up events, and an online storefront, all to help strengthen communities who need it the most. They’re going all in on local nutrition and food access, and we’re here for it.


        3. All In on Madam Morrible

        I’m always all in on a good TikTok trend. This week, I’m going to share with you a classic that has come out of the Wicked franchise and the incredible actress Michelle Yeoh.

        Michelle, who plays Madame Morrible in the Wicked movies, is an outstanding actress. She’s known for iconic films like Everything, Everywhere, All At Once, as well as Crazy Rich Asians and Star Trek. But her legacy might be this one quote, which she’s said in interviews countless times, and now people can’t stop making videos with the phrase “Madame Morrible, M.M…flip it around, W.W. Wicked Witch!”

        You might have to take a look at how people are going all in yourself, the sound has taken off with already 14.3K videos, and the variations are unstoppable...defying all odds and maybe even...defying gravity?

        4. Spotify Wrapped: All in on "Coconut Mall"

        TikTok · Ale

        www.tiktok.com

        There’s nothing better than finding a song that hits just right and gets you feeling productive. For some people, it’s lofi beats. For others, it’s orchestra music. For TikTok user @aleinmotion, it was the “coconut mall” song from the Mario Kart racing soundtrack. Ale never realized how much she listened to the song until it became #1 on her Spotify Wrapped. Sometimes you’ll be surprised by what you love most, and I’m thinking this is one of those moments for Ale.

        5. A Family Prank Everyone Enjoys

        This girl said her boyfriend had an ugly hat, so her family decided to go all in on supporting him instead. This is when love and humor come together, a perfect prank that actually made the boyfriends day…and taught his girlfriend that nothing is really that serious! They even got the daughter her very own hat as well, and she looked happy to wear it!

        As someone who grew up with a dad who always wore floppy hats to protect him from the sun, I understand the embarrassment. Maybe it’s time I go all in and show my support with a matching hat and white long sleeve sun shirt!

        Snag your free (!!) snack bar here while this deal lasts. Simply sign up with your phone number, pick up your favorite flavor of an All In bar at Sprouts, and then text a picture of your receipt through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one bar. Enjoy!

        Pop CultureMusicHumorSponsoredJoyCommunityArt
        Art

        Art prodigy sold $7 million worth of paintings before she was even 14-years-old

        You can see her talent in her very first painting.

        Autumn de Forest, art, kids, artists, painting, Pope
        Autumn de Forest

        Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

        When Autumn de Forest was five years old, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

        After a year of practice, the then-six-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

        Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. When they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.

        art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old.Autumn de Forest

        Soon, Autumn rose to national fame

        When Autumn was eight, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.

        - YouTube www.youtube.com

        Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

        But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had...questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

        Autumn ignored her critics and kept painting.

        By age 14, she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5

        Somehow, as the focus on her age began to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

        Before dinner, it was back into the studio.

        "That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

        kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest

        The results speak for themselves

        Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

        kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists An Autumn de Forest paintingAutumn de Forest

        Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

        assets.rebelmouse.io

        In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

        The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with Pope Francis.

        Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, art Autumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

        At 16, she also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

        As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

        Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager—fetching as much as $25,000 each—much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.

        Now 24, Autumn continues to be represented by Park West Gallery, the world's largest art dealer, and is keeping busy with her craft and philanthropy.

        - YouTube youtu.be

        The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has certainly kept her busy. In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

        That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

        "In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

        In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

        The video has over 88 million views on YouTube.

        And of course, de Forest continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

        The Autumn de Forest Foundation helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers

        A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

        "A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

        Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone so young, but that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

        De Forest's latest solo exhibition debuted in late August of this year, and ran through mi September at the Park West Soho Gallery. She now resides in Los Angeles according to her profile on the networking site, dot.cards.

        For more information, visit her website.

        This article originally appeared nine years ago. It has been updated.

        From Your Site Articles
        art
        ArtJoy
        Kids

        Parents are having to rethink conversations with kids who suddenly want to change their names

        "It's been a thing for centuries!"

        names, parenting, kids, trends, parenting
        Photo Credit: Canva

        A young kid holds a teddy bear. A name tag remains blank.

        Kids, or people in general, wanting to change their given names is nothing new. As an act of autonomy (or just simple creativity), it's perfectly natural to reinvent one's self until it feels right.

        Over on Reddit, a popular parenting thread wrestles with the same concept. One person states, "My child wants to change their name." They note, "My child (10) just started public school, and suddenly they have asked to change their name. Here's the kicker: this isn't an effort to express their gender identity in another way. If they wanted to explore more non-conforming gender roles (non-binary/gender-fluid/transgender), I would be entirely, completely supportive of that. My spouse and I are both non-conforming to gender roles, and I could understand if our child wanted to explore something similar."

        They continue that they found the source of the new name. "I did some digging, and I recently discovered part of their motivation for the change: it is the name of their favorite YouTuber. I don't even know where to start here. I feel a level of guilt being judgmental of my child's choice to change their name, but there also isn't anything inherently wrong with it. A rose by another name and all that, but am I wrong for thinking the reason for the change is just a little bit flippant and not a good motivation to change their identity, especially when that identity is being lifted from another, living person?"

        names, kids, parents, identity, parenting A menacing man asks that you say his name. Giphy

        The post received are over three hundred comments, many of which share similar stories and anecdotes of how they changed their names as kids.

        One confesses they wanted to change their name a lot: "For what it's worth, I wanted to change my name a million times growing up. First, I wanted Dawn, then Angel, and lord knows what after that. I'm sure I went by Lilith during high school for a moment. My parents were so blasé about it. I never did change my name."

        This Redditor notes they found it serendipitous that their child wanted to change her name, just as the person was reading a book that mentions name-changing. "My 5-year-old decided to change her name just as I started rereading Northanger Abbey, so this quote stuck out to me: 'Sally, or rather Sarah (for what young lady of common gentility will reach the age of sixteen without altering her name as far as she can?)' It’s been a thing for centuries!"

        Another points out that the inspiration for names can wane over time: "My parents let me change my name when I was 8 to an animal name from a Disney movie. Not legally, but they called me that name and had all my teachers, coaches, etc., use it. As I got older, I realized how silly it sounded, but also my own name still didn't feel right. I chose another nickname (a person name this time), and when I went to middle school I went under this new name. When I went to college, I tried to go back to my legal name, but it didn't stick, and I ended up telling everyone my nickname and using that until I finally changed it legally when I was about 23."

        One shares that their young daughter has asked to go by "Grass," so they do.

        Spider-Man, names, kids, parents, gif Spider-Man dances like nobody's watching. Giphy Spider-Man Dance GIF

        And some, of course, note that the moment will pass: "My son went by Spider-Man for almost a year at age 4. He’s 23 now and happy with his given name."

        From Your Site Articles
        names
        KidsFamily
        Community

        Frugal people share 15 "fancy" home hacks that feel bougie while still saving them money

        "It feels fancy and Greek-goddess-y, while also using less hot water!"

        frugal, frugal living, frugal home, frugal house, frugal money saving tips
        Photo credit: Canva

        Frugal people share money saving home tips.

        Being frugal can sometimes feel anything but luxurious. Saving money usually means cutting back or giving up on the "finer" things.

        But frugal people have found ways to still cut back on household spending while making their homes feel like five-star hotels. And bonus: their frugal "little luxuries" can have even bigger payoffs than saving money—they have big mental health benefits.

        “Little luxuries can trigger the release of feel-good neurotransmitters, improving overall mood,” Robert Cuyler, PhD, Chief Clinical Officer at Freespira, explained to VeryWell Mind. "Physically, little luxuries that promote relaxation and well-being can lead to lower blood pressure, improved sleep quality, reduced muscle tension, and a strengthened immune system due to decreased stress levels."

        - YouTube www.youtube.com

        To save money around the house while still feeling fancy, these are 15 frugal home hacks.

        "My grandfather in law has motion sensor lights in every room in his home. He got me some for my apartment back in the day, and man oh man. I felt like a KING every time I walked in and the lights just popped on. My energy bill was also noticeably smaller. Still not sure why they changed to walled sized bills... Also, as an eco conscious human, I was glad to be saving energy. Finally, I found it to be more hygienic and less stressful when not having to worry about touching lights when cooking or whatever. Still swear by automated illumination to this day." - KVNTRY

        "Wait til you hear about pressure-based light switches. I put one in the door jamb of my pantry so when you open the door, the light immediately kicks on. Close it again, and it shuts off. It’s glorious." - Stone_The_Rock

        "Cloth napkins. We haven’t bought paper napkins in years, and the cloth ones are so much nicer anyway." - SmileFirstThenSpeak

        "Carrying everything on trays. I might be overdosing on Downton Abbey, but having trays of various sizes readily available is nicer and easier." - Heel_Worker982

        @hellobrownlow

        welcome to Frugal Living Essentials! we're talking about all the little things that add up to being super frugal in your day to day life. #frugalliving #frugalmom #singleincomefamily #livebelowyourmeans #frugal

        "Changing my toilet seats out to the easy to slide off versions so you clean everything more thoroughly without fighting crevices is a game changer." - mycofirsttime

        "An led bulb that I programmed to do sunrise/sunset wakeup and sleep routines. Silicone trays to put skincare products on." - Okiedonutdokie

        "Auto sensor soap and water dispenser for the kitchen so I don't have to clean the faucets when I might have gotten raw meat juices on them." - SilentRaindrops

        "I bought a big pack of white washcloths for general use and I keep a stack neatly folded in half on the bathroom counter. Feels hotel-core and 'prepared' for little effort." - infieldmitt

        "Having indoor plants - especially the ones that have low light needs and are easy to propagate. My pothos plant is the gift that keeps on giving since its cuttings have allowed me to have greenery in every room of my place. I’ve gotten all my plants frugally - cuttings from friends, inherited plants from moving neighbors, rescued plants from work, and occasional purchases from places like Aldi or Trader Joe’s. I’m lucky to have a southeast facing room and all of my plants thrive in there. I feel so freaking fancy sitting among my plants, reading a book with my dog by my side." - onlythegoodstuff44

        "Bathroom fan switch with choice of how many minutes you want it to run. No more worrying about it running when we're asleep or outside the house." - fishfishbirdbirdcat

        - YouTube www.youtube.com

        "I put a pretty vintage pitcher in my shower that I fill up with hot water to use while I have the water turned off. It feels fancy and Greek-goddess-y, while also using less hot water!" - laurasaurus5

        "My door catchers and door stops. For the room doors that are almost always open, I installed magnetic door catchers on the baseboard. This holds the doors in place, creating clean lines in the rooms and predictably large openings. I also had two 5 lbs kettle bells which I spray painted chrome and use as door stops at my front and back doors. They are easy to place, look good, and securely hold heavy exterior doors open. I love them." - AvivaStrom

        "We got a robot vacuum mop. For the price of one month of having a cleaner come in to do my floors, I can have someone other than me vacuum and mop daily! Yay for Mr. Clean! Such a cheerful helper! It feels a little like having staff. 🧐" - mystery_biscotti

        "Purchased a French door from Lowes and replaced my sliding glass door. It made the room 'pop'. They have doors in every price range via their catalog from a modest expense to very expensive. I absolutely hate sliding glass doors." - texasusa

        "Get one of those shower curtain rods that's curved outward. Total game changer." - CurnanBarbarian

        From Your Site Articles
        frugal home
        CommunityJoy
        Love Stories

        Photographer captured his wife's cancer journey until the end for the most beautiful reason

        “When people see these photographs, I hope they see life before death."

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino
        Angelo Merendino (used with permission)

        A photo series helps people understand the day to day reality of terminal cancer.

        All images by Angelo Merendino, published here with permission.

        Cancer is unfortunately common, but seeing someone's cancer journey from start to finish is pretty uncommon. Medical experiences are often kept private, for understandable reasons, so the public is usually shielded from the various ups and downs and the intimate moments of pain and struggle, as well as love and even joy, that come along with battling terminal cancer.

        When I first saw the incredible photos Angelo Merendino took of his wife, Jennifer, as she battled breast cancer, I felt that I shouldn't be seeing this snapshot of their intimate, private lives. The photos humanize the face of cancer and capture the difficulty, fear, and pain that they experienced during the difficult time.

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Angelo and Jennifer were a happy couple.Angelo Merendino

        But as Angelo commented: "These photographs do not define us, but they are us."

        In his photo exhibition, Angelo wrote:

        "Jennifer was diagnosed with breast cancer five months after our wedding. She passed less than four years later. During our journey we realized that many people are unaware of the reality of day to day life with cancer. After Jen’s cancer metastasized we decided to share our life through photographs."

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Angelo and Jennifer Angelo Merendino



        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Jennifer was diagnosed with cancer in 2008.Angelo Merendino

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Her diagnosis came only five months after they were married.Angelo Merendino

        On his website, Angelo writes:

        "With each challenge we grew closer. Words became less important. One night Jen had just been admitted to the hospital, her pain was out of control. She grabbed my arm, her eyes watering, 'You have to look in my eyes, that’s the only way I can handle this pain.' We loved each other with every bit of our souls. Jen taught me to love, to listen, to give and to believe in others and myself. I’ve never been as happy as I was during this time."

        However, the ups and downs of cancer journeys eventually take a toll. Having support is vital, but that doesn't mean everyone will understand or be able to be there the way we might hope.

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Losing hair is a common side effect of cancer treatment.Angelo Merendino

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Angelo and Jennifer decided to document her cancer journey.Angelo Merendino

        “Throughout our battle we were fortunate to have a strong support group but we still struggled to get people to understand our day-to-day life and the difficulties we faced…

        Sadly, most people do not want to hear these realities and at certain points we felt our support fading away.”

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Cancer can be lonely sometimes. Angelo Merendino

        "People assume that treatment makes you better, that things become OK, that life goes back to 'normal,' Angelo wrote. "There is no normal in cancer-land. Cancer survivors have to define a new sense of normal, often daily. And how can others understand what we had to live with everyday?"

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Not everyone understands the journey.Angelo Merendino

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino They captured the ups and the downs. Angelo Merendino

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino They also captured the love and heartbreak.Angelo Merendino


        “When people see these photographs, I hope they see life before death,” Angelo writes. “I hope they see love before loss.”


        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Small joys are part of the journey.Angelo Merendino

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Celebrating Jennifer's 40th birthdayAngelo Merendino

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Having a support system makes a big difference. Angelo Merendino

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Every photo tells a story.Angelo Merendino


        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino There is love in every image.Angelo Merendino


        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino And then the after began.Angelo Merendino

        Jennifer passed in 2011, and Angelo has had his own long healing journey in the years since. He told the Susan G. Komen Foundation in 2022 that finding a therapist who had lost a spouse helped him a lot.

        “Healing has been an ongoing thing. I don’t want to forget how much it hurts, because I think the other side of that is how much I loved Jen, and how much she loved me,” Angelo said. “I try to remember how fortunate I am to be alive and to not take for granted all the things that I have in my life.”

        cancer, breast cancer, chemotherapy, cancer treatment, photography, angelo merendino Jennifer's tombstone reads "I loved it all." Angelo Merendino

        “If you’re going through this, keep moving forward,” Angelo said. “Be graceful with yourself. Know you you’ll find joy again. Something as simple as a sunset will make you more thankful than anything. There’s still so much life to live. Out of honor to Jen, I have to live my life again.

        This article originally appeared thirteen years ago.


        From Your Site Articles
        love
        Love StoriesJoy
        Pets

        Four guys write a letter asking to walk their new neighbor's dog. The dog writes back.

        "I am very friendly and full of beans."

        black lab, dog walker, dog walker near me, dog walker ap, neighbors, good news, pets, feel good news
        Photo credit: Canva, Stevieticks /Instagram

        black lab (left. Handwritten letter (right)

        If you've lived your whole life with a dog, a home has to feel pretty empty without one. Your heart has to feel like there's something missing as well. When Jack McCrossan, originally from Scotland, moved to Bristol, England with his three friends, they were bummed out to learn that their landlord didn't allow dogs.

        So when they saw a beautiful black Sheprador (a German Sheppard Lab mix) in their neighbor's window, they knew that had to become buddies with her. They wrote the dog's owner, Sarah Tolman, a letter asking to arrange a play date with the dog. "If you ever need someone to walk him/her, we will gladly do so," they wrote.

        "If you ever get bored (we know you never will, but we can dream), we are more than happy to look after him/her. If you want to come over and bring him/her to brighten our day, you are more than welcome. If you want to walk past our balcony windows so we can see him/her, please do," the letter continued.

        "We hope this doesn't come too strong, but our landlord won't allow pets, and we've all grown up with animals. The adult life is a struggle without one," they wrote. "Yours sincerely, The boys from number 23," the letter concluded.

        Soon after, the boys in 23 received a response from the dog herself, Stevie Ticks, accepting the offer. However, it may have been written by her human, Sarah Tolman. In the letter, Stevie shares a bit about herself, saying she's two years and four months old, was adopted in Cyprus, and that she's "very friendly and full of beans." (The boys shouldn't worry about a gassy hound, in England, "full of beans" means lively.)

        "I love meeting new people and it would be great if we can be friends. I must warn you that the price of my friendship is 5 x ball throws a day and belly scratches whenever I demand them," the letter continued. A few days later, the boys got to meet Stevie.

        "Meeting Stevie was great!" McCrossan told Buzzfeed. "She was definitely as energetic as described. We got to take her for a walk and she wouldn't stop running!"

        Tolman thought the boys' letter was a fantastic gesture in an era where, quote often, neighbors are strangers. "In a day and age where people don't really know or speak to their neighbors, it was really nice for them to break down that barrier," she said. After the story went viral, she saw it as an opportunity for people to share their love of dogs with the world. "My mother and I are amazed at all the love we've received from around the world these past few days," Tolman wrote as Stevie. "If you have a doggo in your life, share that love with those around you."

        A lot has changed since this story first warmed hearts around the globe. The boys have since moved away, but as of September 2024, Stevie is around 8 years old and still living her best life. Recently, she even made it to the doggie wall of fame at her local coffee shop.

        In the years since this story first went viral, pet-sharing and neighbor dog borrowing have actually become more common, especially in cities where landlords restrict pets. Several platforms (like BorrowMyDoggy) and community groups now exist to pair dog owners with trusted neighbors who want occasional playtime, walks, or dog-sitting without having to own a pet. It’s a small but growing trend that reflects how deeply animal companionship is needed—even for people who can’t adopt a dog full-time. In many apartment buildings, these kinds of informal arrangements help reduce loneliness, build community, and give non-owners the emotional benefits of living with pets.

        Just goes to show the power of a dog's love…even if that dog isn't your own.

        This article originally appeared six years ago.

        From Your Site Articles
        community
        PetsJoy
        Trending Stories