upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
More

27 Martin Luther King Jr. quotes to remember under the new president.

Five days after Americans celebrate and honor Martin Luther King Jr., Donald Trump will be inaugurated as our 45th president.

It's been nearly 50 years since King was assassinated for his role as a leader in the fight for civil rights and racial equality. As we enter this new era — one in which, for many, it feels like King's dream of America is far out of reach — it's more important than ever to reflect on what King truly stood for.

Here are 27 quotes from the man himself that show us his actual ideal vision of America — and how far we still have to go before we get there.

Martin Luther King Jr. during the March on Washington, D.C. Photo by AFP/Getty Images.

1. King reminded us to stand up and speak out against the injustices we see in our world.

"To accept passively an unjust system is to cooperate with that system; thereby the oppressed become as evil as the oppressor," King wrote in his essay "Three Ways of Meeting Oppression."

"Noncooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as is cooperation with good. ... To accept injustice or segregation passively is to say to the oppressor that his actions are morally right."

2. It's better to be frustrated with an unjust world than to just accept it.

In his sermon at Temple Israel of Hollywood, King said, "There are some things in our nation to which I’m proud to be maladjusted, to which I call upon all men of goodwill to be maladjusted until the good society is realized. ... I never intend to adjust myself to segregation and discrimination. I never intend to become adjusted to religious bigotry. I never intend to adjust myself to economic conditions that will take necessities from the many to give luxuries to the few. I never intend to adjust myself to the madness of militarism and the self-defeating effects of physical violence."

3. Just because something is legal, that doesn't make it right, and not everything that is illegal is wrong.

"One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws," King said in "Letter From a Birmingham Jail."

4. How do you tell the difference between right and wrong? It's easy.

King explained this simply, again in "Letter From a Birmingham Jail": "Any law that uplifts the human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust."

He expanded on this idea in his "Rediscovering Lost Values" sermon: "Some things are right and some things are wrong. Eternally so, absolutely so. It's wrong to hate. It always has been wrong, and it always will be wrong. It's wrong in America, it's wrong in Germany, it's wrong in Russia, it's wrong in China. It was wrong in 2000 B.C., and it's wrong in 1954 A.D. It always has been wrong, and it always will be wrong."

5. Everyone deserves access to health care.

"Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhumane," King said at the Second National Convention of the Medical Committee for Human Rights in 1966.

6. Everyone also deserves to earn a living wage, have a safe work environment, and not be exploited by their bosses.

"The labor movement did not diminish the strength of the nation but enlarged it," King said in a 1961 address to the AFL-CIO, "by raising the living standards of millions, labor miraculously created a market for industry and lifted the whole nation to undreamed-of levels of production. Those who attack labor forget these simple truths, but history remembers them."

7. King believed every person has a right to food and shelter.

"Why should there be hunger and privation in any land, in any city, at any table when man has the resources and the scientific know-how to provide all mankind with the basic necessities of life?" King said in his 1964 Nobel lecture, "The Quest for Peace and Justice."

8. King wanted people to know there are fair ways to distribute wealth within the framework of democracy.

"You can use your powerful economic resources to wipe poverty from the face of the Earth," King said in "Paul's Letter to American Christians."

"God never intended for one group of people to live in superfluous inordinate wealth while others live in abject deadening poverty. God intends for all of his children to have the basic necessities of life, and He has left in this universe 'enough and to spare' for that purpose. So I call upon you to bridge the gulf between abject poverty and superfluous wealth."

9. Money is not a measurement of virtue, righteousness, or meaning.

"I am afraid that many among you are more concerned about making a living than making a life," King also said in "Paul's Letter to American Christians."

10. People have a right to vote. Period.

"All types of conniving methods are still being used to prevent Negroes from becoming registered voters. The denial of this sacred right is a tragic betrayal of the highest mandates of our democratic tradition," King said in his "Give Us the Ballot" speech — and it's still true.

"... Give us the ballot, and we will no longer have to worry the federal government about our basic rights."

11. From employment to marriage to education to health care and beyond, civil and social rights matter for all people.

"If America is to remain a first-class nation, it cannot have second-class citizens," King preached in "The Rising Tide of Racial Consciousness."

12. We can't pass laws to make people get along with or accept people, but we can and should pass laws to protect the oppressed from harm.

(Lookin' at you, HB2 and First Amendment Defense Act.)

"It may be true that morality can't be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. It may be that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can restrain him from lynching me, and I think that’s pretty important also," King said in a 1966 speech at Southern Methodist University.

13. The most morally bankrupt people are the ones concerned more about getting caught than about doing something wrong in the first place.

"In a sense, we are no longer concerned about the Ten Commandments. ... Everybody is busy, as I have said so often, trying to obey the eleventh commandment: 'Thou shalt not get caught,'" King said in "Keep Moving From This Mountain."

14. King understood the U.S. is not a Christian nation.

Yes, he was a minister, but King was also a firm believer in separation of church and state.

"I endorse it [the Supreme Court's decision to outlaw prayer in school]," King explained in a 1965 interview with Playboy. "I think it was correct. Contrary to what many have said, it sought to outlaw neither prayer nor belief in God. In a pluralistic society such as ours, who is to determine what prayer shall be spoken and by whom? Legally, constitutionally or otherwise, the state certainly has no such right."

15. King also wanted people to know religion is no excuse for scientific ignorance.

"Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge which is power; religion gives man wisdom which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals. They are complementary," he wrote in his book "Strength to Love."

"Science keeps religion from sinking into the valley of crippling irrationalism and paralyzing obscurantism. Religion prevents science from falling into the marsh of obsolete materialism and moral nihilism."

16. King was pro-choice and valued the many good things Planned Parenthood contributes to the world.

"Family planning, to relate population to world resources, is possible, practical, and necessary," he said in his acceptance speech for the Margaret Sanger Award from Planned Parenthood.

17. King spoke passionately about our economic struggles being largely the same, regardless of skin color.

"All too often when there is mass unemployment in the black community, it's referred to as a social problem, and when there is mass unemployment in the white community, it's referred to as a depression. But there is no basic difference," he said in his "Other America" speech from 1968.

"Most of the poverty stricken people of America," he said later in the speech, "are persons who are working every day, and they end up getting part-time wages for full-time work. ... This has caused a great deal of bitterness. It has caused a great deal of agony. It has caused ache and anguish. It has caused great despair, and we have seen the angered expressions of this despair and this bitterness in the violent rebellions that have taken place in cities all over our country."

18. This is why King believed that white laborers and black civil rights activists should work together toward their shared goals.

"Our needs are identical with labor's needs: decent wages, fair working conditions, livable housing, old-age security, health, and welfare measures, conditions in which families can grow, have education for their children and respect in the community," he said in a speech to the AFL-CIO.

19. Protests and riots aren't a problem. They're symptoms of bigger, systemic issues.

"A riot is the language of the unheard," King said in "The Other America." "And what is it America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the Negro poor has worsened over the last twelve or fifteen years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity."

20. There's never a correct "time" or "way" to achieve justice and change.

"I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was 'well timed' in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation," King said in "Letter From a Birmingham Jail." "For years now I have heard the word 'wait!' It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This 'wait' has almost always meant 'never.' We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that 'justice too long delayed is justice denied.'"

21. Michelle Obama may have perfected the catchphrase "When they go low, we go high," but it was central to King's beliefs as well.

"We must not seek to defeat or humiliate the enemy but to win his friendship and understanding," he said in "Loving Your Enemies," urging us all to resist our natural instincts toward pettiness and spite. "At times we are able to humiliate our worst enemy. Inevitably, his weak moments come and we are able to thrust in his side the spear of defeat. But this we must not do. Every word and deed must contribute to an understanding with the enemy and release those vast reservoirs of goodwill which have been blocked by impenetrable walls of hate."

22. Everyone deserves empathy and compassion.

From "Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break the Silence":

23. Although he was committed to nonviolence, King also made it clear: You cannot be moderate in the face of oppression and hate.

"The question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be," King said in "Letter From a Birmingham Jail." "Will we be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice or for the extension of justice?"

24. King warned of the dangers of giving power to thin-skinned egomaniacs, too.

"The individual who is self-centered, the individual who is egocentric ends up being very sensitive, a very touchy person," King said in "Conquering Self-Centeredness." "And that is one of the tragic effects of a self-centered attitude, that it leads to a very sensitive and touchy response toward the universe. These are the people you have to handle with kid gloves because they are touchy, they are sensitive. And they are sensitive because they are self-centered. They are too absorbed in self and anything gets them off, anything makes them angry."

25. The U.S. president should be held to a higher standard of diplomacy, humility, and temperament.

As he said in his Emancipation Proclamation Centennial Address, "No president can be great, or even fit for office, if he attempts to accommodate to injustice to maintain his political balance."

26. A society is built up by people working together.

"No matter where you stand, no matter how much popularity you have, no matter how much education you have, no matter how much money you have, you have it because in this universe helped you to get it," King said in his speech about self-centeredness.

"And when you see that, you can't be arrogant, you can't be supercilious. You discover that you have your position because of the events of history and because of individuals in the background making it possible for you to stand there."

27. "All we say to America is, 'Be true to what you said on paper.'"

As King said in "I’ve Been to the Mountaintop":

It's more important than ever that we honor King's legacy.

Maybe if we start to hold ourselves to that higher standard he believed in, we can finally turn his dreams into reality and make a better America for everyone.

From Your Site Articles
Joy

Pet behaviorist explains the viral phenomenon of people buying their cats concrete slabs

A pet behaviorist explains why this trend is actually purrfect enrichment.

@annieknowsanimals/TikTok

Cat owners everywhere are shocked to see how much their feline love a simple $2 concrete slab.

If you’ve traipsed through @CatTok over the past few days, you’ve undoubtedly come across various videos of cat parents bringing their feline friends a fairly unusual yet surprisingly effective enrichment tool. We are talking of course about a concrete slab. Yes, you read that right. Not a fancy new scratching post. Not some laser contraption. A cement square. That’s it.

Seriously, folks are going in droves to Home Depot to purchase these unassuming blocks. And every time they present their kitties this new treat, the reactions look something like this:

 
 @shecatcalls PART 2 | Cat enrichment ideas. The way she sits more on this $7 brick than any of the actual cat beds and huts I buy her 😂 Can anyone else relate? 🤦♀️ Video idea inspired by Kurt the Cat @Abram Engle @The Home Depot #creatorsearchinsights #cats #cattok #sillycat #funny #meow ♬ Cute - In Music 
 
 


 
 @renusdelph I bought concrete slabs for my cats #cat #catsoftiktok #orangecat #orangecatbehavior #catlovers #viralcats #funnycat ♬ original sound - Renus Delph 
 
 


 
 @mrmilothechonk I should have bought 3 😂 #foryou #foryoupage #cats #catsoftiktok #viral ♬ Almost forgot that this was the whole point - Take my Hand Instrumental - AntonioVivald 
 
 

The trend seems like it could have been ignited by this orange tabby (named Kurt) below, who loved rolling around on the sidewalk, thus inspiring his owner Abram Engle to see if he'd enjoy a concrete slab just as much. Spoiler alert: he did.

 
 @abrameng Kurt was conking the crete
 ♬ original sound - Abram Engle 
 
 

There have been as many theories as to why kitties go gaga for concrete as there are toy mice under the couch (meaning, a lot). But below, pet behaviorist Dr. Annie gives a few of her hunches as to what's driving this phenomeownon…though she adds the caveat that there haven’t yet been any official studies on it. So it's all based on her educated guesses.

 
 @annieknowsanimals why do cats like concrete? 🤔 here are my thoughts on the latest cat enrichment #trend! vc: @aero.mace #catbehavior #catsoftiktok #cat #cats ♬ original sound - Dr. Annie | pet behaviorist 
 
 

“First, I think cats are enjoying the concrete slab being brought into their homes because they are new and kind of out of place. There’s probably nothing quite like them already in the home environment,” Dr. Annie says.

This might initially sound counterintuitive, since it’s generally accepted that cats thrive on routine. While this may be true, as Dr. Annie has discussed in previous videos, their "predatory and territorial nature” makes them "sensitive to novelty.” When a toy seems static, it no longer mimics actual live prey, and therefore does not stimulate kitty as it would in nature. Same goes for cat beds and scratching posts, as they’re used to exploring and monitoring their environment. When something “new” appears in their territory, they are very motivated to interact with it.

 
 @annieknowsanimals Replying to @joshtmeadows let’s explain why cats are so sensitive to “new” stuff! @Abram Engle ♬ original sound - Dr. Annie | pet behaviorist 
 
 

Second, Dr. Annie surmises that the concrete’s porous surface makes it really great for holding onto the cat's scent, which is a key factor in marking a kitty's territory. Again, cat’s really like knowing (or in this case, smelling) what’s theirs. In many videos, you can see cat’s actively rubbing their cheek glands on the slab, Dr. Annie notes.

Also, and probably more of a no-brainer, the concrete surface is very, very fun for scratching! And while we all might know that cats enjoy the tactile pleasure of using their claws, having a part of their environment that they have control over is very fulfilling for their mental health.

Lastly, Dr. Annie confirms what many cat parents assumed, which is that temperature plays a huge role in making the concrete slab cat-friendly. Cats like warmth because they have a higher body temperature, and evolved from creatures that live in warmer climates (like topical jungles, African plains, etc.). If they are seeking a way to raise their temperature—especially in air conditioned homes—a concrete slab that’s been soaking up the sun is a great way to do so.

Thank you Dr. Annie for that fascinating deep dive. Those all seem like pretty solid theories. And while we might not ever get actual studies on this, there’s yet another fact that becomes abundantly clear: cat parents will go above and beyond to make their fur babies happy. Even if that means taking on a job in construction for free concrete.

For even more fantastic cat facts, give Dr. Annie a follow on TikTok.

From Your Site Articles
cats
JoyPets
Pop Culture

20 cute things couples do in secret because it would 'shock' anyone else who saw them

Apparently speaking in animal sounds is a forgotten love language.

Photo credit: Canva

Letting out your inner weirdo is an admirable relationship tier.

At some point in a long-term relationship—especially after you’re living together—there comes a time when all pretense is laid to the wayside. When regular closeness and new levels of comfortability allow both partners to really let out their fun, playful, messy, immature, and perhaps even a bit feral side that would otherwise stay dormant or hidden.

If you’re currently in a long term relationship and wonder if other couples are as weird with one another behind closed doors as you are, read on. Recently someone asked partners:

“What’s something you do in private that’s completely normal for you, but would probably shock your friends?”

Judging by these super cute, sweet, interesting, and ultimately very relatable answers, we can probably all assume that being weirdos is actually a sign of a very healthy relationship…even if we wouldn’t dare let anyone else see us that way.

Tons of couples shared about having their own language of sorts, especially those that involve animal sounds, apparently…

 ask reddit, reddit, couples, relationships, marriage, partnership, living together, romance, intimacy “My wife and I HONK like geese. I use it for echo location but she uses it more as a summoning function.”Photo credit: Canva

“We have full conversations in ridiculous accents and once spent a whole day arguing in pirate voice without breaking character.”

“Sometimes we’ll be in different parts of the house and she’ll bark, and I’ll bark back and we’ll bark at each other for about 10 seconds before it goes back to silence, with no discussion involved.If we’re in the same room sometimes she’ll make a bark noise and I’ll look at her like HEY, no, shake finger this is a safe space.”

“My wife and I HONK like geese. I use it for echo location but she uses it more as a summoning function.”

“My ex and I would meow at each other. We’d have full non verbal conversations with each other by meowing.”

“My partner and I hiss at each other. A lot.I had a good laugh at my partner's expense last week, when he told me that he accidentally hissed at a coworker and had to explain why. He hissed at me in response, of course. As is the custom.”

“We have a hand signal for when we want to leave a social situation. Sometimes we’ll give it to each other from across the room or if it’s too obvious, the person who wants to leave will hold the other persons hand and do the signal inside their palm.Also, we regularly will pick food from a menu while out to dinner based on the knowledge that We will be swapping plates half way through lol”

And of course, many couples reported seeing the occasional jab as a way of saying “I love you…dummy.”

 ask reddit, reddit, couples, relationships, marriage, partnership, living together, romance, intimacy “Our love language is roasting and insulting each other."Photo credit: Canva

“We get mean but try to be silly about it, but we KNOW we're joking. It would actually upset our oldest who has autism. He couldn't tell we were joking and we'd need to stop and reassure him. Eventually he got in on the joke and he'd start saying things like ‘guys! Not in front of my beef stew!’ Or whatever he had or was eating/doing.”

“Our love language is roasting and insulting each other. We have our own boundaries we don’t ever cross, but the very few times we’ve let it slip in front of others they’re always pretty shocked at how we speak.”

Others noted how physical intimacy now involved play, laughter, and a certain comfort with what might be considered a tad gross elsewhere. We’re not talking about sex here, but about the familiarity that comes from being in proximity over a long period of time.

 ask reddit, reddit, couples, relationships, marriage, partnership, living together, romance, intimacy "It just makes sense if one of us walks near the other to lightly touch them.”Photo credit: Canva

“Fake wrestling before sleeping. We know for a fact I can't overpower him but it's a question of whether my flexibility can beat his strength. I always try to poke his butt with my big toe to defeat him.”

“We shower together, and afterwards she rubs lotion on me. It actually started because her sister said men don't know how to lotion, so I told her to show me. It's not sexual really, just quality time together.”

“A friend of ours pointed out that I had taken a slightly long route through the living room so I could lightly rub my fingertips across my GF's back as I walked by, the friend thought it was odd. I said I just wanted to let my GF know I was there…I have no real answer for it. It just makes sense if one of us walks near the other to lightly touch them.”

“She’ll spend up to an hour combing my entire body for white heads, black heads, and anything poppable on my skin, popping them. She enjoys it so much that I've had to remind her to slow down as she'll accidentally cut me with her nails.”

“We race to slap the other on the ass after sex and declare ‘good game.’”

The really sweet stuff came from couples who found little bonding rituals even within the mundane, and those who could actually claim their SO as their BFF. Sure, we might not want a romantic partner to be our end-all, be-all person. But at the same time, time and time again we see that the most successful couples are those who truly are friends.

 ask reddit, reddit, couples, relationships, marriage, partnership, living together, romance, intimacy "Hubs and I do everything together as a team."Photo credit: Canva

“We cook a big artichoke for each of us in a pressure cooker and we add butter and lemon and we sit in bed and binge watch TV shows while eating our artichokes in silence. This is kind of our decompression routine that we do after stressful work days or busy weeks. It's really nice.”

“We read out loud to each other at night- short stories, magazine articles but usually longer books - historical fiction or even non fiction.”

“We have an imaginary roommate whom we blame for all the bad stuff (dishes left in sink, laundry on floor etc) instead of arguing about it with each other.”

“I was teased recently because hubs and I do everything together as a team. We grocery shop together, if a pipe breaks we work to fix it together, we do housework together. Not as a dependency, we just generally like being around each other and adulting is way more fun together than solo.”

“I like to grocery shop with my wife. We get chicken nuggets from the hot bar afterwards. 😀”

But by and large, the most common “shocking” thing that couples did was sleeping in separate beds. Which is kind of wild, given all the research we have indicating that it really does offer plenty of health benefits. If you’re still having reservations, take a peek at some of this anecdotal evidence below.

 ask reddit, reddit, couples, relationships, marriage, partnership, living together, romance, intimacy “Having separate bedrooms is such a marriage/partner hack."Photo credit: Canva

“We do this. Everyone is happier. We sleep better which equates to less crankiness. We will have a ‘sleep over’ on weekends when we don't have to be up for work. We'll also snuggle in the morning if we both are up in time. It's a great set up.”

“Having separate bedrooms is such a marriage/partner hack. It also gives you independent space to retreat to, and you get to decorate your own space. We found it does not at all reduce intimacy. In fact it can increase it. But let me tell you. The judgement for this. Damn.”

Bottom line: everyone is weird. And maybe part of finding love is finding someone who lets you be your weirdest, most authentic self. If you have found that person, congrats, and take comfort in know that when no one is watching, other couples are out there being just as silly and carefree. What a beautiful thing.

From Your Site Articles
relationships
Pop CultureInternet
Community

School cafeteria worker made a custom cart so a boy with dwarfism could serve himself

Julian's parents were blown away by the care and creativity that was put into creating his cart.

via Beaverton School District

Julian Worsham gets a new cart.

Six-year-old Julian Worsham of Beaverton, Oregon is like a lot of other first-graders: he loves Super Mario and Taekwondo. But he has achondroplasia, the most common form of dwarfism, and goes to a school that wasn't built for kids his height.

"He's born into a world that just, in some ways, is not built for him," Julian's father, Brett, told WHAS11.

 dwarfism, adaptive equipment, cart Julian's first cart wasn't cutting the mustard.via Beaverton School District 

 

His mother did a walk-through before his first day at school to make sure he wouldn't run into any problems because of his height but forgot to check the cafeteria. [We] "noticed that where the food was, was right at his head," Heather told the Beaverton School District. Then, to make things more of a struggle, he had to carry his tray outside to the lunch benches.

The school made him a makeshift cart out of an upside-down milk crate on wheels to help him transport his lunch from the cafeteria to the benches.

"When I saw it I thought, 'Wow,'" said Enedelia Mottram, who's served lunch for the school district for 18 years. "I just wanted to help Julian, because I mean his head barely reaches the lunch line. He can't see anything."

 school cafeteria, lunch line, serving lunch Cafeteria service counters aren't designed for kids with dwarfism.Photo credit: Canva

That night, she talked to her husband, James, a metalworker, to see if he could come up with something better. He got his team together at Wright Manufacturing in Portland to create a new cart that allowed Julian to transport his lunch tray and see over the counter.

James told the Beaverton School District that he wanted to make something that Julian would be "proud to push around."

James and his team put together a badass cart with adjustable, handlebar grips just like a motorcycle that has a stool inside so he can reach the countertop. It is adorned with flames and a personalized license plate that says, "JULIAN."

Julian's parents were blown away by the care and creativity that was put into creating his cart.

  - YouTube  youtu.be  

 

"They took the time to get those license plates with his name, which is just like, they just really put a lot of heart into it. So when I saw it, the first thing I saw was actually a picture of James and his team who made the cart and I cried. It's just such a sweet thing," Heather said.

Julian loves the license plate and the flames and is now able to grab his lunch and get out to the benches in style.

"He's independent now," said Mottram. "Before, a staff member [would] have to be there to help him," she said.

Heather hopes that the story will inspire others to reach out and help other people in need.

"There's just wonderful people in this world that, you know, they have their eyes open. They're seeing needs that need to be met and they're meeting them. So I hope that other kids can get their needs met through this," she said.

Everyday heroes come in all shapes, sizes, and professions, and anyone who makes a difference in the life a child—especially a child with extra challenges—has truly earned the title. Cheers to Enedelia and James for taking the initiative to make the world a little more accessible to this vibrant kiddo.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
kindness
CommunityJoy
Community

Friends struggling with procrastination held a 'forcing party' and it's oh so brilliant

A little accompaniment and accountability can make all the difference.

Photo credit: Canva

Friends can help us when we're on the productivity struggle bus.

Some people have self-discipline and agency coming out their ears and rarely if ever procrastinate on anything. Others, not so much. Whether it's driven by habit, fear of success or failure, lack of motivation, ADHD, or something else that disrupts the flow from "I need to do this thing" to "I'm now doing this thing," procrastination is a challenge in many people's lives. You know what you need to do—why can't you just do it?

When you struggle to get things done, the cycle of self-loathing and shame that follows can make you feel worthless and alone. But some friends on X came up with a simply brilliant solution that not only solves the procrastination problem, but the feeling alone problem as well.

 
 

A user named Tyler wrote, "Sometimes you need a coach or therapist, and sometimes you just need someone to invade your life and force [you] to book the dr's appointment, finish the writing assignment, submit the job application, etc. Does this sort of person exist for hire?"

Lots of people resonated with that idea, but Tyler's friend Crystal responded, "Can we do it for each other?"

Tyler said Crystal would be good at this and said he was thinking of throwing "a force-on-another-to-do-stuff party."

And so they did.

 
 

The idea was to gather together a small group of friends who have things they need to get done and create a space where they could "force" one another to do them. Turns out, it was a brilliant plan. Crystal and Tyler both in the middle of their party, with Crystal saying it was "going well" and that they'd be doing more and Tyler sharing:

"So far:

- A passport has been filed for

- An inbox has been zero'd

- A personal website has been created

& more.

I recommend this format!"

 
 

People loved the idea, with many people asking if they could join. Tyler encouraged people to host their own. You don't have to have a bunch of friends to do it—it could literally just be two people. As long as whoever is there is on board with what it is, the number of people doesn't matter.

And if the idea of "forcing" rubs you the wrong way, what you call the gathering doesn't matter, either. One person suggested some alternative names, such as Git 'er Done Party, Just Do It Party, and Not So Bad Party. You could call it a Procrastinator Party or Motivation Madness. A similar idea has been called Admin Night, only that is specifically referred to as "not a party." But why can't it be both? Give the invite a tagline, even: Get stuff done, then have fun.

 
 

The concept of accompaniment to do things you don't want to or are struggling to do is an ADHD strategy known as "body doubling." Having someone in the same room with you doing something productive, even if it isn't the same thing you're doing, is often enough to get a person with ADHD to focus on the task they need to complete. The Forcing Party is a similar idea, perhaps with a bit more direct accountability built into it. It's a lot harder to put off doing something when you're at a party dedicated to doing exactly that thing.

 

If you're saying, "But why should I have to have a 'forcing party' just to get myself to do things that aren't even that difficult to do?" and feeling down on yourself for it, just stop for a sec. Humans aren't meant to do everything in isolation. We are social creatures who live in communities of people. Even those of us who like to be alone still benefit in various ways from the assistance and accompaniment of others, and if this is an area where being with your fellow humans helps you be the productive person you want to be, why question it?

Keep it simple. Contact a few friends and see if they have things they've been putting off doing that you could all do side-by-side one evening or weekend day. Call it whatever kind of party you want. See what they say. Chances are, they all have something they've been procrastinating on as well and would welcome the opportunity to get together and get it done.

Thanks for the inspiration, Tyler and Crystal!

From Your Site Articles
life hacks
CommunityJoy
Education

I taught preschool in a migrant town. Here is the number one myth I wish people understood.

We spent weeks looking for help for a young child who was in pain.

Photo credit: Canva

I taught preschool in a migrant town. There's one myth that needs to end.

It seems that around every election season we hear about undocumented immigrants and how they're simultaneously stealing our jobs and collecting government benefits. This idea is common in farming communities and the surrounding areas since these communities tend to be rural with scarce job opportunities and poor wages. It's a phrase I heard most of my adult life and that I eventually learned was simply a myth to garner votes or support for certain policies.

For a few years, I taught "More at 4," a preschool program for low-income families in a small town in North Carolina. The town is full of fields with rows of crops growing everything from tobacco to strawberries. Old school busses packed with watermelons and trucks sprinkling tobacco leaves on the two-lane highway was the norm to see on my sleepy drive to work. Agricultural communities are usually heavily populated with migrant farm workers and their families.

 immigration; undocumented immigrants; migrant workers; illegal immigrants; illegal aliens; illegal immigrants Medicaid Leafy harvest: Tobacco leaves hang to dry.Photo credit: Canva

Every spring and summer, the fields were lined with men and women picking fruit and vegetables with a speed that would rival a Marvel superhero. Every fall, my classroom would fill with adorable brown faces who would giggle at my Spanish when I clumsily told them to wash their hands. It always came out sounding more like a spell from Harry Potter than a directive in a language I didn't speak. Jedi was one of those students, a 4-year-old who was usually full of smiles until she wasn't.

My assistant teacher and I noticed a few months into the school year that Jedi was not as talkative and starting to sit by herself. This little girl loved to chat and play in the dramatic play area, pretending to be the mom while directing other kids in Spanish. Sitting alone was unusual for her, and we quickly realized that it was more than an upset stomach when she started crying every time it was time to eat. The language barrier made calling her mother tricky, but with the help of one of our bilingual students we made it work and quickly learned upsetting health news.

 immigration; undocumented immigrants; migrant workers; illegal immigrants; illegal aliens; illegal immigrants Medicaid Children learning the alphabet with teachers.Photo credit: Canva

Most of Jedi's molars were rotting and broken. Her mother explained through our 4-year-old translator and the Google Translate app that the little girl's teeth had been hurting for some time. She had been giving her over-the-counter pain medication in the morning, hoping it would get her through the day. That worked for a while, but the cavities got worse over the months.

Since our program was for low-income families, nearly every child had Medicaid, so at first we didn't understand why this sweet girl hadn't seen a dentist. It was during that conversation that we learned the children of migrant workers don't qualify for Medicaid or any other federal government assistance. Jedi didn't have a social security number and her birth certificate was from Guatemala. In order to receive Medicaid, which would've fixed her broken, infected teeth, she needed to be a U.S. citizen.

 immigration; undocumented immigrants; migrant workers; illegal immigrants; illegal aliens; illegal immigrants Medicaid Child upset in colorful classroom.Photo credit: Canva

I watched helplessly as the girl's mother cried, explaining to a child no older than her own—who then translated the message to me—that they didn't know what to do. We promised to find a way to help the family and went to work. That afternoon, during regular pick up, Jedi's father came to the door with cash in hand. He was covered in sweat and dirt from the field. The worried dad explained that he didn't have a lot of money but could pay to help his daughter. After a brief back and forth with the translator app, he put his money away and left.

My assistant and I worked for a couple of weeks calling government agencies, angrily telling them it wasn't fair that they wouldn't help. She was just four years old and we were having to feed her applesauce, pudding, and yogurt because she couldn't chew. We called every agency we could think of and then went down the list of every dentist in town. We explained the situation over and over, hoping someone would do something.

 immigration; undocumented immigrants; migrant workers; illegal immigrants; illegal aliens; illegal immigrants Medicaid Little one's big feelings on display.Photo credit: Canva

Just when we were about to give up, we found a children's dentist who agreed to evaluate her teeth. He determined that her teeth were infected, several needed to be capped, and a couple of the broken ones needed to be pulled. This amazing dentist made sure she left with antibiotics and an appointment that same week to start the work. The dad was able to pay him with cash on a weekly basis until it was paid off, and Jedi got her smile back.

Her first days back at school were like show-and-tell. She would take bites of food and then break into a wide grin while showing off her silver caps. That sweet girl would never know the hours we spent on the phone or the anguish her parents went through while trying to get her care. At the time, Jedi's mother was pregnant with what turned out to be a baby sister, also without care.

 immigration; undocumented immigrants; migrant workers; illegal immigrants; illegal aliens; illegal immigrants Medicaid Young patient getting a dental check-up.Photo credit: Canva

While some states have expanded their Medicaid to include undocumented children and pregnant people, federally they're not covered, according to Healthinsurance.org. Currently there are only six states that expand state-funded Medicaid to undocumented people and 14 states that expand it to undocumented children who live in families that meet the income requirement. But even in the states that offer some form of state-funded Medicaid to undocumented individuals, the restrictions include income, and in some states, age.

In Illinois and New York, the only undocumented people that qualify for state-funded Medicaid are those under the age of 18 and those over the age of 65, though in New York undocumented pregnant people are also eligible. Washington state has an enrollment cap for undocumented individuals over 18 while California, Oregon, and Minnesota have no restrictions outside of income.

This means that the vast majority of undocumented immigrants are not eligible to receive government benefits. Immigrants who are in the U.S. lawfully are eligible for benefits under certain circumstances.

 immigration; undocumented immigrants; migrant workers; illegal immigrants; illegal aliens; illegal immigrants Medicaid Pregnant woman cradling bellyPhoto credit: Canva

According to KFF, "In general, in addition to meeting other eligibility requirements, lawfully present immigrants must have a 'qualified' immigration status to be eligible for Medicaid or CHIP (Table 1), and many, including most lawful permanent residents or 'green card' holders, must wait five years after obtaining qualified status before they may enroll. They may enroll in Marketplace coverage and receive subsidies during this five-year waiting period."

"Some immigrants with qualified status, such as refugees and asylees, as well as citizens of Compact of Free Association (COFA) nations, do not have to wait five years before enrolling. Some immigrants, such as those with temporary protected status, are lawfully present but do not have a qualified status and are not eligible to enroll regardless of their length of time in the country. Individuals with Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) status are not eligible for Medicaid or CHIP, and implementation of a Marketplace coverage expansion for them remains subject to ongoing litigation," KFF adds.

While there is often concern around undocumented people getting more benefits than the average struggling American citizen, it simply isn't true. It's a myth meant to evoke feelings of scarcity and unfairness to sway people to support policies they may otherwise feel uncomfortable with.

From Your Site Articles
undocumented immigrants
EducationPolicy
Trending Stories