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27 Martin Luther King Jr. quotes to remember under the new president.

Five days after Americans celebrate and honor Martin Luther King Jr., Donald Trump will be inaugurated as our 45th president.

It's been nearly 50 years since King was assassinated for his role as a leader in the fight for civil rights and racial equality. As we enter this new era — one in which, for many, it feels like King's dream of America is far out of reach — it's more important than ever to reflect on what King truly stood for.

Here are 27 quotes from the man himself that show us his actual ideal vision of America — and how far we still have to go before we get there.


Martin Luther King Jr. during the March on Washington, D.C. Photo by AFP/Getty Images.

1. King reminded us to stand up and speak out against the injustices we see in our world.

"To accept passively an unjust system is to cooperate with that system; thereby the oppressed become as evil as the oppressor," King wrote in his essay "Three Ways of Meeting Oppression."

"Noncooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as is cooperation with good. ... To accept injustice or segregation passively is to say to the oppressor that his actions are morally right."

2. It's better to be frustrated with an unjust world than to just accept it.

In his sermon at Temple Israel of Hollywood, King said, "There are some things in our nation to which I’m proud to be maladjusted, to which I call upon all men of goodwill to be maladjusted until the good society is realized. ... I never intend to adjust myself to segregation and discrimination. I never intend to become adjusted to religious bigotry. I never intend to adjust myself to economic conditions that will take necessities from the many to give luxuries to the few. I never intend to adjust myself to the madness of militarism and the self-defeating effects of physical violence."

3. Just because something is legal, that doesn't make it right, and not everything that is illegal is wrong.

"One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws," King said in "Letter From a Birmingham Jail."

4. How do you tell the difference between right and wrong? It's easy.

King explained this simply, again in "Letter From a Birmingham Jail": "Any law that uplifts the human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust."

He expanded on this idea in his "Rediscovering Lost Values" sermon: "Some things are right and some things are wrong. Eternally so, absolutely so. It's wrong to hate. It always has been wrong, and it always will be wrong. It's wrong in America, it's wrong in Germany, it's wrong in Russia, it's wrong in China. It was wrong in 2000 B.C., and it's wrong in 1954 A.D. It always has been wrong, and it always will be wrong."

5. Everyone deserves access to health care.

"Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhumane," King said at the Second National Convention of the Medical Committee for Human Rights in 1966.

6. Everyone also deserves to earn a living wage, have a safe work environment, and not be exploited by their bosses.

"The labor movement did not diminish the strength of the nation but enlarged it," King said in a 1961 address to the AFL-CIO, "by raising the living standards of millions, labor miraculously created a market for industry and lifted the whole nation to undreamed-of levels of production. Those who attack labor forget these simple truths, but history remembers them."

7. King believed every person has a right to food and shelter.

"Why should there be hunger and privation in any land, in any city, at any table when man has the resources and the scientific know-how to provide all mankind with the basic necessities of life?" King said in his 1964 Nobel lecture, "The Quest for Peace and Justice."

8. King wanted people to know there are fair ways to distribute wealth within the framework of democracy.

"You can use your powerful economic resources to wipe poverty from the face of the Earth," King said in "Paul's Letter to American Christians."

"God never intended for one group of people to live in superfluous inordinate wealth while others live in abject deadening poverty. God intends for all of his children to have the basic necessities of life, and He has left in this universe 'enough and to spare' for that purpose. So I call upon you to bridge the gulf between abject poverty and superfluous wealth."

9. Money is not a measurement of virtue, righteousness, or meaning.

"I am afraid that many among you are more concerned about making a living than making a life," King also said in "Paul's Letter to American Christians."

10. People have a right to vote. Period.

"All types of conniving methods are still being used to prevent Negroes from becoming registered voters. The denial of this sacred right is a tragic betrayal of the highest mandates of our democratic tradition," King said in his "Give Us the Ballot" speechand it's still true.

"... Give us the ballot, and we will no longer have to worry the federal government about our basic rights."

11. From employment to marriage to education to health care and beyond, civil and social rights matter for all people.

"If America is to remain a first-class nation, it cannot have second-class citizens," King preached in "The Rising Tide of Racial Consciousness."

12. We can't pass laws to make people get along with or accept people, but we can and should pass laws to protect the oppressed from harm.

(Lookin' at you, HB2 and First Amendment Defense Act.)

"It may be true that morality can't be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. It may be that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can restrain him from lynching me, and I think that’s pretty important also," King said in a 1966 speech at Southern Methodist University.

13. The most morally bankrupt people are the ones concerned more about getting caught than about doing something wrong in the first place.

"In a sense, we are no longer concerned about the Ten Commandments. ... Everybody is busy, as I have said so often, trying to obey the eleventh commandment: 'Thou shalt not get caught,'" King said in "Keep Moving From This Mountain."

14. King understood the U.S. is not a Christian nation.

Yes, he was a minister, but King was also a firm believer in separation of church and state.

"I endorse it [the Supreme Court's decision to outlaw prayer in school]," King explained in a 1965 interview with Playboy. "I think it was correct. Contrary to what many have said, it sought to outlaw neither prayer nor belief in God. In a pluralistic society such as ours, who is to determine what prayer shall be spoken and by whom? Legally, constitutionally or otherwise, the state certainly has no such right."

15. King also wanted people to know religion is no excuse for scientific ignorance.

"Science investigates; religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge which is power; religion gives man wisdom which is control. Science deals mainly with facts; religion deals mainly with values. The two are not rivals. They are complementary," he wrote in his book "Strength to Love."

"Science keeps religion from sinking into the valley of crippling irrationalism and paralyzing obscurantism. Religion prevents science from falling into the marsh of obsolete materialism and moral nihilism."

16. King was pro-choice and valued the many good things Planned Parenthood contributes to the world.

"Family planning, to relate population to world resources, is possible, practical, and necessary," he said in his acceptance speech for the Margaret Sanger Award from Planned Parenthood.

17. King spoke passionately about our economic struggles being largely the same, regardless of skin color.

"All too often when there is mass unemployment in the black community, it's referred to as a social problem, and when there is mass unemployment in the white community, it's referred to as a depression. But there is no basic difference," he said in his "Other America" speech from 1968.

"Most of the poverty stricken people of America," he said later in the speech, "are persons who are working every day, and they end up getting part-time wages for full-time work. ... This has caused a great deal of bitterness. It has caused a great deal of agony. It has caused ache and anguish. It has caused great despair, and we have seen the angered expressions of this despair and this bitterness in the violent rebellions that have taken place in cities all over our country."

18. This is why King believed that white laborers and black civil rights activists should work together toward their shared goals.

"Our needs are identical with labor's needs: decent wages, fair working conditions, livable housing, old-age security, health, and welfare measures, conditions in which families can grow, have education for their children and respect in the community," he said in a speech to the AFL-CIO.

19. Protests and riots aren't a problem. They're symptoms of bigger, systemic issues.

"A riot is the language of the unheard," King said in "The Other America." "And what is it America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the Negro poor has worsened over the last twelve or fifteen years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity."

20. There's never a correct "time" or "way" to achieve justice and change.

"I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was 'well timed' in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation," King said in "Letter From a Birmingham Jail." "For years now I have heard the word 'wait!' It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This 'wait' has almost always meant 'never.' We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that 'justice too long delayed is justice denied.'"

21. Michelle Obama may have perfected the catchphrase "When they go low, we go high," but it was central to King's beliefs as well.

"We must not seek to defeat or humiliate the enemy but to win his friendship and understanding," he said in "Loving Your Enemies," urging us all to resist our natural instincts toward pettiness and spite. "At times we are able to humiliate our worst enemy. Inevitably, his weak moments come and we are able to thrust in his side the spear of defeat. But this we must not do. Every word and deed must contribute to an understanding with the enemy and release those vast reservoirs of goodwill which have been blocked by impenetrable walls of hate."

22. Everyone deserves empathy and compassion.

From "Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break the Silence":

23. Although he was committed to nonviolence, King also made it clear: You cannot be moderate in the face of oppression and hate.

"The question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be," King said in "Letter From a Birmingham Jail." "Will we be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice or for the extension of justice?"

24. King warned of the dangers of giving power to thin-skinned egomaniacs, too.

"The individual who is self-centered, the individual who is egocentric ends up being very sensitive, a very touchy person," King said in "Conquering Self-Centeredness." "And that is one of the tragic effects of a self-centered attitude, that it leads to a very sensitive and touchy response toward the universe. These are the people you have to handle with kid gloves because they are touchy, they are sensitive. And they are sensitive because they are self-centered. They are too absorbed in self and anything gets them off, anything makes them angry."

25. The U.S. president should be held to a higher standard of diplomacy, humility, and temperament.

As he said in his Emancipation Proclamation Centennial Address, "No president can be great, or even fit for office, if he attempts to accommodate to injustice to maintain his political balance."

26. A society is built up by people working together.

"No matter where you stand, no matter how much popularity you have, no matter how much education you have, no matter how much money you have, you have it because in this universe helped you to get it," King said in his speech about self-centeredness.

"And when you see that, you can't be arrogant, you can't be supercilious. You discover that you have your position because of the events of history and because of individuals in the background making it possible for you to stand there."

27. "All we say to America is, 'Be true to what you said on paper.'"

As King said in "I’ve Been to the Mountaintop":

It's more important than ever that we honor King's legacy.

Maybe if we start to hold ourselves to that higher standard he believed in, we can finally turn his dreams into reality and make a better America for everyone.

via Mattew Barra/Pexels
There's one word you can't say on a cruise ship.

There are some things you just don't say. You don't yell out "bomb!" on an airplane, make jokes about carrying weapons while going through security, or, as Michael Scott from The Office knows, loudly proclaim that a boat you're currently on is sinking.

Those are all pretty obvious examples, but sometimes etiquette and decorum are a little more subtle. If you're not experienced in the ways of the venue you're in, you might not know all the unspoken rules. And you might find out the hard way. Cruise ships, for example, have their own very specific set of rules and regulations that guests should abide by.

On December 10, 2023, Royal Caribbean’s Serenade of the Seas set sail on the Ultimate World Cruise—a 274-day global trek that visits 11 world wonders and over 60 countries.


cruise, 9-month cruise, Marc Sebastian, cruise life, vacation, titanic, unspoken rules, etiquette, cruise etiquette, royal caribbean 9 months is a very long time to be aboard a boat, even a giant cruise ship. Photo by Peter Hansen on Unsplash

This incredible trip covered the Americas, Asia Pacific, Middle East, Mediterranean and Europe with a ticket price that ranges from $53,999 to $117,599 per passenger.

With such a unique and incredible offering, it's understandable that Royal Caribbean wanted to invite plenty of influencers to help them get the word out.

Aboard the Serenade to the Seas was popular TikToker Marc Sebastian, who documented his experience throughout the journey. In one video with over 4.3 million views, he revealed what he’s learned over his first few weeks aboard the ship; the biggest was the one word you’re not allowed to say.

"So here's [what] I've learned about cruising since I've spent 18 nights on this floating retirement home with a Cheesecake Factory attached. First, number one, you're not supposed to talk about the Titanic," he says in the clip.

Titanic! It's the ultimate taboo when you're on a giant ship traversing the ocean. Even after all these years, it's still too soon to make even lighthearted comparisons or jokes.

@marcsebastianf

someone get whoopi on the line girl i have some goss for her #ultimateworldcruise #worldcruise #serenadeoftheseas #cruisetok #cruise #9monthcruise #titanic

“Who knew that? I didn’t,” Sebastian said. “I brought it up to an entire room of people having lunch that our ship is only 100 feet longer than the Titanic — when I tell you that utensils dropped. Waiters gasped. It’s dead silent.”

Sebastian was flabbergasted. "It wasn't in the... handbook," he joked. "Not that I read the handbook, clearly."

After the unexpected reaction, his cruise friend told him, “You’re not allowed to talk about the Titanic.” It makes sense.

Who wants to be reminded of the tragedy that killed around 1,500 people while sinking one of the most impressive engineering feats of the era? More experienced cruisers chimed in that they were familiar with the unique piece of etiquette.

cruise, 9-month cruise, Marc Sebastian, cruise life, vacation, titanic, unspoken rules, etiquette, cruise etiquette, royal caribbean Pro tip: Don't ask the band on board to play "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion Giphy

"When I went on a cruise, my mom told me saying Titanic was equivalent to screaming ‘bomb’ at an airport," Mikayla wrote in the comments.

"It’s like saying Macbeth in a theatre, it’s an unspoken rule" another commenter added.

"I’m sorry you’re telling me you had a Harry Potter like experience saying Voldemort at Hogwarts but it was the titanic on a modern day cruise I’m cryingggg" joked another.

Later in the video covering little known cruise facts, Sebastian admits he was surprised to learn that cruise ships have godmothers and that the pools are filled with seawater.

In an update from June of 2024, Sebastian explains that he only stayed on the cruise for 18 nights. He was not booked to stay throughout the entire voyage, and for him, that was a relief.

He initially jokes that he was kicked off the boat for saving a penguin that had jumped aboard. But in the end, he admits he was more than happy to deboard early.

"I walked off that ship not a happy man," he said, saying the ship was overstimulating and stressful. In another video, he films as the ship navigates the Drake Passage, one of the most notoriously dangerous and choppy stretches of water in the world. It looks stressful indeed, to say the least.

Cruising isn't for everyone, let alone for 274 days straight! But now Sebastian knows the golden rule for his next cruise.

This story originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Julia Roberts and Emma Roberts

Actress Julia Roberts was late to the game when it came to joining social media, so she was blown away when she finally saw first-hand how toxic it could be. She started an Instagram account in June of 2018 and, shortly after, was the target of trolls mocking her appearance in a post by her niece.

Roberts was upset about the negative comments people made about her looks and then was gutted when she considered social media's effect on young women. In a 2018 interview with Oprah Winfrey for Harper’s Bazaar, Julia recounted the story:

“Although something did happen recently on my niece Emma’s Instagram that I think taught me a lot about what it’s like being a young person in today’s society. One weekend morning Emma slept over, and we got up and were having tea and playing cards and having this beautiful morning, and then a couple of days later, she posted a picture of us,” Roberts recalled.

“And the number of people who felt absolutely required to talk about how terrible I looked in the picture—that I’m not aging well, that I look like a man, why would she even post a picture like this when I look that terrible!” she continued. “And I was amazed at how that made me feel. I’m a 50-year-old woman and I know who I am, and still my feelings got hurt. I was sad that people couldn’t see the point of it, the sweetness of it, the absolute shining joy of that photo. I thought, ‘What if I was 15?’”


body shaming, instagram, social media, body, dysmorphia A young woman looks uncomfortable in the mirror. Image via Canva.

Beauty influencer Samantha Marika combined the audio of Julia telling the story, added it to the candid photo of her and Emma, and posted it to Instagram, and it went viral. The post has since been deleted, but in February 2024, actress and author Ali Wentworth posted a similar video of the photo of Roberts with her niece along with other photos from throughout the actress' life. Her words to Oprah play over the video and Wentworth applauds Roberts for being "spot on about the corrosive nature of social media and its effect on younger generations" in the caption.

In short, Julia’s concerns about teenage mental health aren’t unfounded.

A 2022 report by Pew Research shows that online bullying is pervasive among teenagers and looks are a common target. “Nearly half of U.S. teens have been bullied or harassed online, with physical appearance being seen as a relatively common reason why,” the report said. “Older teen girls are especially likely to report being targeted by online abuse overall and because of their appearance.” The Cyberbullying Research Center confirms these findings, noting in 2023 that "adolescent girls are morel likely to have experienced cyberbullying in their lifetimes (59.2% vs. 49.5% for adolescent boys).

bullies, cyberbullying, teen girls, adolescent girls, social media Girls experience cyberbullying more than their peers. Image via Canva.

Even though online bullying is common, those who watched Wentworth's video were disturbed by what happened to Roberts and her niece.

“I thought they were going to say how much like twins they look like & just a sweet beautiful moment they let us in on, when they didn't have to,” one viewer wrote.

"The anonymous aspect of social media adds to the cruelty. This picture is lovely and your statement is so true," said another.

Even though Roberts was disturbed by the comments she saw on Instagram, she’s glad that it helped her grasp what’s happening to young people online.

“I was so happy that happened because I had this whole new glimpse into a way of living that I didn’t get at all,” she told Winfrey. “You have to go through things to understand them, and this was just a little paper cut of what can really go on with social media.”

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Leya comes up to Mats Janzon on his kayak for cuddles.

When Mats Janzon found Leya, she was just a tiny baby curled up alone in the grass near his home in Sweden. Janzon was out on a quiet walk in the woods when he heard a soft peeping sound and saw it was a baby otter. He kept his distance for several hours, hoping her mother would return. When no one came, he searched the area and found that her mother had been killed on a major road nearby. Leya appeared to be starving and barely breathing, and he knew she wouldn't make it without help.

Janzon had volunteered with animal rescues while working as a pilot in Cyprus, but after moving back to Sweden several years ago, he felt a pull to leave his job and spend more time in nature. "This shift led me to focus on helping wildlife," Janzon tells Upworthy. "I’ve cared for various animals, mostly birds, that seemed to find me. Huginn, a crow I rescued, stayed with me for three years before he was ready to join his own flock in the wild."

@matsjanzon

The story of Leya #ottersoftiktok #OtterBuddy #WildlifeTikTok #ViralNature #CuteAnimals #TikTokNature #FurryFriends #AnimalBesties #KayakAdventures #WildlifeLover #wildanimals #naturevibes #fyp #otter #RescueStories

However, Janzon had never raised an otter before and didn't know what to do. He was scared, as Leya needed care around the clock, but she began to thrive and quickly bonded with him. She would cry when he left the room and curl up in his lap to feel safe.

"The first time she let me pet her, I remember thinking this can't be real," Janzon told the TikTok account SoulPaws Tails. "It felt like a dream, this wild, free otter choosing to trust me."

Still, Janzon kept second-guessing himself, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Otters are wild animals, and he knew Leya couldn't stay indoors forever. So, starting with a plastic kiddie pool in the backyard, Janzon helped Leya learn to swim. She was awkward in the water at first, but little by little, day by day, she grew more confident.

@matsjanzon

Two years ago, our sweet otter pup Leya took her very first splash in a cozy baby pool, a moment that still melts our hearts! At just a few weeks old, tiny Leya was all curiosity and wobbly paws as she explored the shallow water filled with colorful floating toys. 🌊✨ Her first cautious pats at the surface turned into excited splashes as she chased the toys. Watching her dive and twirl, already showing off her natural otter grace, was pure magic. Now, at 2 years old, Leya’s likely out in the wild, thriving and possibly finding a safe territory for her own pups. 🌿 We’re so proud of the strong, playful otter she’s become, and we’ll always cherish those early days of her splashing adventures in that little pool. 💙 Here’s to Leya, ruling the rivers and raising her own little swimmers! 🦦🌟 #Throwback #FirstSwim #OtterMemories #WildAndFree #fyp #foryourpage

Leya followed Janzon everywhere. Soon she became part of the family, which included another rescued crow and a cat. The animals would play hide and seek, chasing one another around the bushes. Janzon says it was like something out of a children's storybook.

Once Leya was totally comfortable in the water, he took her down to the lake. She looked up at Janzon as if to ask, "What now?" He nodded at her, and she jumped into the water. He realized that in some way he'd become a father to her.

"I named Leya while sitting with her on my lap, gazing out over the lake in a near-meditative state," Janzon tells Upworthy. "I quietly asked her, 'Who are you? What should I call you?' The name Leya popped into my mind, and when I said it aloud, she instantly looked up at me. That’s when I knew it was the name meant for her."

But as Leya grew, so did her wild instincts. She began to wander farther and stay out longer, and Janzon knew it was time to let her go. He describes it as "a strange kind of love—part pride, part heartbreak" but she started living the life she was meant to live.

@soulpaws_tails

This Otter Hope Into My Kayak Every Morning Just To Say "Hello". Beautiful And Heartwarming Story of Leya The Otter #animals #animalsoftiktok #tiktok #otter #tiktok

"Leya is an old soul, brimming with energy and positivity, always finding opportunities in everything," Janzon says. "Nothing seems impossible for her. She’s been a true inspiration and a dear friend during my transition from a conventional career to a life focused on something greater, not just working to pay bills, but making a difference by helping all living beings in our community."

At some point, Leya started staying away for days at a time. But even then, when Janzon was out for a morning kayak ride on the lake, he'd see her nose pop out of the water and start moving towards him. Leya knew he was there and would swim up and climb into the kayak for cuddles and a ride.

@matsjanzon

#fyp #foryourpage #otter #morningmotivation #relaxing #RescueStories #ViralNature #wildanimals #morningvibes #sunrise #WildlifeTikTok

Sometimes she'd even bring a snack with her:

@matsjanzon

#fyp #foryourpage #otter #morningmotivation #relaxing #RescueStories #ViralNature #morningvibes #wildanimals

And sometimes she'd return after nearly a week away for a little snuggle time:

@matsjanzon

Someone came home tired after 6days in the wild 🦦❤️‍🩹 #foryourpage #fyp #morningmotivation #RescueStories #otter

People love seeing Leya's bond with her human and Janzon's peaceful videos that seem like something out of a dream:

"Sorry, which fantasy world is this and can I have the Google maps link to get there?"

"I wish the world could be like this."

"She’s your significant otter. 😂😂"

"You are so lucky to be friends with a cute otter who also gets to live her own life. She chooses to be with you. 🥰"

"She’s just living her best life and I think you are too - good luck to you and enjoy it. 😊"

otter, leya the otter, otter rescue, mats janzon, tame otter Leya and Mats hanging out in his kayak.Courtesy of Mats Janzon

Mats says Leya is officially living her wild life now.

"I last saw Leya at the end of May," Janzon tells Upworthy. "Initially, we thought she’d find her own territory before winter, but after several long trips, she chose to stay under the house while the lake was frozen. When spring arrived, she resumed her search, staying away for up to 10 days before returning for brief visits, lasting a few hours to a day. Her last visit was unusually long, over a week. I suspect she may have been pregnant, eating heartily to prepare for a longer stay in a new territory farther away."

Janzon wants people to know that as much as he loves Leya, she's not a pet. "When an animal trusts you, it creates a bond deeper than words can explain," he told SoulPaws Tails. "If you're thinking of adopting or rescuing an animal, especially a wild one, please do it with your whole heart and full responsibility. Do your homework, talk to professionals, ask questions, learn everything you can about animals like Leya. They aren't pets. They're living, feeling souls that deserve to be loved and respected for who they are."

You can follow Mats Janzon and see more videos of Leya on TikTok.

Family

Husband calls wife's idea for their baby's name 'abusive', and other parents agree

“Some traditions reach the point where they are no longer suitable for modern times. This is 100% that time."

A couple fighting

When it comes to parenting, the second most important decision—after whether to have a child or not—is choosing a name for the kid.

Even though we live in times where parents are getting more and more creative about picking a name for their children, those with a more common name have a greater chance of being socially accepted than those without. According to Psychology Today, grade-school kids with highly unusual names or names with negative associations tend to be “less popular” than those with more “desirable” names. Later in life, people with “unpopular or unattractive” names have more difficulty finding romantic partners.

A 23-year-old mother-to-be wanted to name her son Gaylord, which arguably falls under the more "unusual" category. While she had her family's full, passionate support, her husband, 24, and his side of the family were firmly against the idea. Seeking validation, the woman posted about the dilemma on Reddit's AITA forum.

“In my family, our genealogy is extremely important. The firstborn son since the 1800's has been given this name. I'm well aware it's a stigmatized name today, so that's why I have agreed to using a short form,” the woman wrote.

Understanding that her son would be bullied for being called Gaylord, she decided that it would be his legal first name, but could go by Gail. Her family believed that it would be acceptable for him to be known as Gail initially, and could transition to being called Gaylord when he gets older and society grew more tolerant, hopefully.

“They see the backlash over the name today as a fad that will eventually disappear, and I agree seeing how accepting each generation tends to become,” she continued. “When society stops being so immature about it, he can start using the full name.”

However, the father wouldn’t even consider naming his son Gaylord, or Gail, for that matter. His family went a step further and said that naming him Gaylord or Gail would be “abusive.”

"My in-laws are telling me that even Gail isn't an acceptable boy's name and that I need to 'get with the times' and choose something more appropriate," she continued. “What happened to respecting our elders and traditions? His family doesn't have any naming traditions, so it should fall to my family that does. How could I be expected to break a centuries-old family tradition?”

The commenters were overwhelmingly against the mother’s decision.

"Use your imagination. A boy named Gaylord goes to his first day of school. The teacher does the roll call. ‘GAYLORD SMITH?’ Class breaks into giggles. Embarrassed boy says, ‘It's Gail.’ Class giggles some more, since Gail is usually a girl's name. Boy has no chance of fitting in with his classmates. His fate is sealed. He is a social pariah for life. Don't do this to him. Please,” one user wrote.

"Your name is the first thing people know about you. It’s the cover page of how people perceive you. Even if you think Gaylord will just appear on the birth certificate, you’re wrong. His legal name will have to be used on official documents, at school, on his license and passport. It will appear at the top of every resume he hands out. It’s not as simple as putting a name on paper. It’s how he is going to appear to the whole world. Gaylord is totally stigmatized and has been for decades. It’s not going away, sorry." another added.

“Some traditions reach the point where they are no longer suitable for modern times. This is 100% that time. Pick another name," another person wrote.

After the post went viral, the mother shared that both sides of the family have tentatively agreed on a name.

“We managed to work out that Gale Gaylord would be a reasonable compromise, with Gale being the complete first name, and Gaylord being the middle name,” the woman wrote. “My husband can then add a second middle name after Gaylord if he wants. Grandpa is especially not impressed that it's being demoted to a middle name, but he did say he understands the pressure I'm facing here.”

Whether or not you think this name decision is a good one, we can all agree that there are so many factors to consider when choosing a name. Hopefully parents can manage all those while still enjoying the process.

This article originally appeared last year.

Learning

How do you know someone is very smart? Here are 15 'subtle signs' others notice.

"You can understand both sides of an issue and still think one is wrong."

Steve Jobs shows off iPhone 4 at the 2010 Worldwide Developers Conference.

There is a big difference in how highly intelligent people communicate versus those with smaller IQs. A Redditor named Occyz wanted to know how people tell the difference by asking them to share the “subtle” signs that someone is very intelligent.

The question was a big hit on the forum, receiving over 4,000 responses.

A big takeaway is people think highly intelligent people are mentally flexible. They are always interested in learning more about a topic, open to changing their minds when they learn new information, and they're acutely aware of what they don’t know.

In fact, according to the psychological principle known as the Dunning-Krueger effect, there is a big confidence chasm between highly intelligent people and those who are not. Low-IQ people often overestimate what they know about topics they need to familiarize themselves with. Conversely, people with high IQs underestimate their knowledge of subjects in which they are well-versed.

Here are 15 “subtle” signs that someone is highly intelligent.

1. They admit their mistakes

"When someone can admit a mistake and they know they don’t know everything."

2. Great problem-solvers

"They're very good at problem-solving. Even if it's something they have no experience with they always approach the problem from the right angle."

3. They appreciate nuance

"'I can hold two opposing ideas in my head at the same time.' Anyone who is willing to do that is intriguing to me. Especially with polarizing issues. They might actually be interesting to talk to."


woman, thoughtful, problem solver, intelligence, learning, study Intelligent people tend to be thoughtful. Image via Canva.

4. They say 'I don't know'

"I like to call it being smart enough to know how stupid you are."

"100% this. I have a good friend who is a teaching professor at Cambridge. He is acutely aware of how ‘little’ he knows about areas outside his specialization."

5. They have self-doubt

"They struggle with imposter syndrome. Dumb people always think they’re [great]."

"It can happen but I’ve met plenty who don’t really doubt themselves. Instead, they take not knowing or not having any experience as an opportunity, just like people go down interesting internet rabbit holes. Really smart people can view mistakes as opportunities for growth and inexperience as an opportunity to gather new experiences."

The great American poet and novelist Charles Bukowski once wrote, “The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts and the stupid ones are full of confidence,” and according to science, he’s correct.

“Ignorance is associated with exaggerated confidence in one’s abilities, whereas experts are unduly tentative about their performance,” Stephan Lewandowsky, Chair of Cognitive Psychology at the University of Bristol, writes for the World Economic Forum. “This basic finding has been replicated numerous times in many different circumstances. There is very little doubt about its status as a fundamental aspect of human behavior.”

6. They ask questions

"They are ok with being perceived as 'stupid' by asking questions — if we hold back in fear, we'll never truly learn. Plus, it's a good way to show others it's ok to question things if you don't understand — better off if we're on the same page instead of hoping things work out without being informed."


curiosity, asking questions, intelligent people, thoughtful It's okay to ask questions because that's how we learn!Image via Canva.

7. They love a challenge

"They feel challenged rather than threatened by new things, problems, ideas..."

"'I don't know' is the beginning of a puzzle, not the conclusion."

8. They know their audience

"They can adapt their communication style — vocabulary, tone, content, etc — to fit the situation and people they’re talking to, and it seems completely natural."

"It's a bit past code-switching, though code-switching is a part of it. Being able to explain complex thoughts in simpler terms based on audience demonstrates your understanding. If the only people who can understand you are fellow people with the same educational exposure as you, you just have knowledge, not intelligence."

9. They can simplify big ideas

"I consider someone intelligent if they're able to explain something incredibly complicated in simpler and more readily understood terms."

"Fantastic teachers can make learning nearly effortless."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

10. They listen to people they disagree with

"Someone who can understand someone’s opposing view without having to agree with it or get angry over it."

11. They're humble

"They don't continually need to tell people how intelligent they are."

"At a certain point, they realize they are smarter at certain things than other people, but they understand the importance of being humble."

12. They take a moment

"They pause to think about a novel question instead of instantly blurting out an answer. Sometimes people think it means they've been 'stumped' and claim victory. No, they're thinking, analyzing, and formulating a reply."

This idea is backed up by science. A study published by IFL Science found that people who score high on intelligence tests answer easy questions quickly. However, they spend more time on complex questions than their less intelligent peers. They have the intelligence to wait until their entire brain has grappled with a problem before answering.

"In more challenging tasks, you have to store previous progress in working memory while you explore other solution paths and then integrate these into each other,” said lead author Professor Michael Schirner. “This gathering of evidence for a particular solution may sometimes take longer, but it also leads to better results.”

thoughtful, thinking, moment, consideration, solution Veggie Tales Thinking GIFGiphy

13. They're well-spoken

"I usually find that creativity, humor, and verbal acuity are good signs of intelligence. I generally see lack of empathy, low openness, and seeing the world in absolutes as signs of low intelligence."

14. Dry sense of humor

"Pulling it off requires an observant, quick wit with a nonchalant delivery that almost downplays its own cleverness. Like it means their immediate passing thoughts are often profound enough to be very funny without any real effort."

15. They are great storytellers

"They craft narratives for themselves and for others that are compelling, that make the world make sense, that invigorate and install a goal, a mission."


This article originally appeared last year.