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What's it like living with mental illness? Ask Wil Wheaton.

Wil Wheaton is the latest in a line of people to tell his story of what it's like living with mental illness for Project UROK.

Actor, writer, and producer Wil Wheaton recently recorded a video discussing what it's like living with mental illness.

You might know him from his work on "Star Trek: The Next Generation" or "The Big Bang Theory," or perhaps you're one of his nearly 3 million Twitter followers — or maybe you don't know him at all.

No matter the case, you probably know someone like him.

Wheaton's video was for Project UROK, a nonprofit aimed at breaking down the stigma of mental illness.

His is just the latest in a series of videos by the organization (which is pronounced "project you are okay").

Writer and actress Mara Wilson ("Matilda") also opened up about her experiences with anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression; blogger and media personality Perez Hilton recorded one about his struggle with anxiety and depression; and I even recorded one about my own bouts of depression and social anxiety.

Wheaton's experience is his alone, but there's some overlap with others who struggle with mental illness.

In the video, Wheaton mentions the fact that for years, he wasn't even aware that depression and anxiety were weighing him down — he just assumed that was simply how life was.


GIFs via Project UROK.

Later, he touches on the experience of finally seeking treatment and how that helped him regain stability in his life.

Trying to explain mental illness to someone who hasn't dealt with it is really, really hard.

There are so many misconceptions that go along with it. Depression is more than just feeling sad. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is more than just liking your apartment a certain way. Bipolar disorder is more than just having an up-and-down day.

Hearing the stories of others, with their similarities and differences, can help paint a picture of what it's actually like to live with mental illness. Most importantly, it can help those who do live with it to realize that they are not alone.

The purpose of Project UROK is to create a safe space for people with mental illness to share their stories and hear the stories of others.

"Project UROK is the resource I wish I'd had as a teenager when I was feeling isolated due to my severe anxiety, OCD, and depression," Project UROK founder Jenny Jaffe told me in an email. "We're creating a platform where all kinds of people can tell all kinds of stories related to mental illness in a way that's friendly, fun, inclusive, and non-judgmental. My ultimate goal is a world where we think of mental healthcare not as a luxury, but as a basic human right. We can only do so if we stop being afraid to talk about what mental illness really is and what it actually looks like."


The choice to use the term "mental illness" instead of just "mental health" is deliberate, intended to reduce stigma.

"I think we invoke the term 'mental illness' a lot as a way to dismiss people that society doesn't find particularly valuable," she told me. "Or we use it as an excuse for an inexcusable action. In both cases, the clear message is that mentally ill people as a whole are 'other,' and therefore not worth our time or care."

And she's absolutely right. We see the term used to describe people involved in mass shootings, for example. The reality is that people with mental illness are only responsible for around 3-5% of violent crimes. They're actually significantly more likely to be victims of violent crimes than to take part in them.

"Until we can talk about mental illness as an illness that, like anything else, requires professional treatment and care, we will continue to think of mental illness as something to be kept a secret."

"The reality is that 1 in 4 Americans struggle with a diagnosable mental illness. 'Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.' Until we can talk about mental illness as an illness that, like anything else, requires professional treatment and care, we will continue to think of mental illness as something to be kept a secret, and of mental healthcare as a non-priority," Jaffe said.

If you're like Wil Wheaton, Mara Wilson, Perez Hilton, or the tens of millions of others who live with mental illness, please remember that you're not alone. You are okay.

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A 3-word method can help you make relaxed small talk that doesn't feel like an interview

Injecting some personality can make things a lot more fun.

via Canva/Photos

A man and woman chatting over some wine.

A lot of people are uncomfortable making small talk, but it’s an essential skill that can make or break your love life, career, and social experiences. Many people believe that being good at chatting with others is something innate, but those who excel at it work at their craft and pick up small tips along the way to become better communicators.

One of the tricks that all great communicators know is that you will be more likable when you're more interested than interesting. Study after study shows that people love talking about themselves, and if you ask people more questions, they will like you a lot more than if you did all the talking. So, how do we do this without creating a one-sided conversation where your conversation partner learns nothing about you? The folks at the Science of People have shared the statement-plus question technique.

The statement-plus technique

“One of the smoothest ways to keep conversation flowing is to share a brief personal statement followed by a question,” the Science of People writes. “This technique accomplishes two things: it gives the other person information about you (making you seem more approachable and interesting) while also redirecting focus to them.”

small talk, conversation, office party, people talking, wine Coworkers having a nice conversation.via Canva/Photos

Here are some examples:

Instead of asking “What do you do for work?” say:

“I’m a writer for Upworthy, and I enjoy seeing my work read by millions of people. What excites you about your job?”

Instead of asking, “Where do you live?” try:

“I live in Long Beach, California, and it’s really nice living by the ocean. What do you love the most about where you live?”

Instead of asking, “How do you know the person who threw the party?” say:

“I met Sarah at a church meeting seven years ago. Do you remember the first time you met her?”

These questions enable you to discuss yourself while maintaining the focus on the other person. They are also open-ended, so you don’t just get a one-word answer. You learn their job and what excites them about it. You know where they live, and they get to brag about what they like about the city. The technique also broadens the conversation because, according to the psychological phenomenon known as reciprocal self-disclosure, people are more likely to disclose things about themselves after you share something about yourself.

- YouTube youtu.be

What is reciprocal self-disclosure?

“The most likely result of your self-disclosure is that other people will do the same. In the field of communication, we refer to this as 'reciprocity.' When you share information about yourself, the most likely result is that people will start to disclose a similar type of information from their own lives," communication coach Alexander Lyon says. "In our presentations, we talk about this as a magic wand. Disclosure is the closest thing we have to a magic wand in terms of a concept in communication. When you disclose, other people almost automatically reciprocate."

Ultimately, people love to talk about themselves, and if you give them the opportunity, they will like you more for it. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t reveal some aspects of yourself at the same time while keeping the focus on them. The statement-plus question technique allows you to reveal some things about yourself while making the other person feel seen and comfortable telling you more about themselves. It’s sure to elevate your small talk to something more substantial in a relaxed way that doesn’t feel like an interview.

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Democracy

Boomers say to stop wasting money on "luxuries." This millennial says they have it backwards.

It's not the "luxuries" that are holding young people back.

via Canva

Millennial man says "luxuries" aren't the reason young people can't afford to live.

Being a human being has really gotten expensive. Millennials constantly lament the high cost of living and the fact that so-called "American dream" is out of reach for many of them. Housing prices have skyrocketed, as has the cost of a college education. Eating out has gotten drastically more expensive, and making food at home with fresh groceries is hardly any cheaper. It's just so hard, they say, to get a foothold in the modern economy. Boomers, who grew up in the 50s, 60s, and 70s, however, aren't wasting any sympathy tears.

One of the big talking points in the great American millennials versus baby boomers debate is that, yes, things are more expensive; but has the younger generation has knee-capped itself by its lavish spending habits that have prevented them from owning homes? If millennials stopped buying $14 avocado toast and $1,000 iPhones, would they be able to save enough for a down payment on a modest house?

Freddie Smith, 36, of Orlando, Florida, recently went viral on TikTok for a video in which he challenged the boomer argument with statistics from the Bureau of Labor, Federal Reserve, and the U.S. Census Bureau.

Smith believes that the older generations misunderstand millennial finances because their concept of luxury is based on 1980s economics. That's when most boomers were coming of age and buying their own family homes, and their ideas of saving up for a down payment and affording a monthly mortgage are heavily outdated.

Smith says that for baby boomers, essentials such as rent and child care were much more affordable, but items considered luxuries (TVs, CD players, computers) were much more expensive.

How is the economy different for millennials than it was for baby boomers?

"The main shift is that core essentials—housing, education, healthcare, and even food—have become more expensive," Smith said. "Housing and rent, for instance, now outpace wage growth, making homeownership feel unattainable for many. The cost of childcare has also skyrocketed, and food prices have increased.”

The home price to income ratio is currently at an all-time high. The Joint Center for Housing Studies of Harvard University writes, "In 2022, the median sale price for a single-family home in the US was 5.6 times higher than the median household income, higher than at any point on record dating back to the early 1970s." That ratio was closer to 2.5 in 1980.

Even transportation has skyrocketed. Buying a new car now costs about as much as the median yearly salary, with entry-level vehicles disappearing rapidly and being replaced with high-tech, fuel-efficient offerings.

"As a result, I think older generations have a different perspective on luxury versus necessity,” Smith continued. “They grew up in a time when hard work typically led to financial stability, whereas today, even with hard work, many people struggle with the high costs of housing, rent and medical expenses. Basic survival used to be far more affordable, allowing people more financial room to build a stable life."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Smith’s numbers don’t lie. For a person in the '80s to own three TVs, a CD player, a cellphone, a microwave, and a computer, it would cost them 3.5 years of rent or a 20% downpayment on the average home. So, it was irresponsible for someone in that period to purchase all of what was known then as luxuries.

However, for millennials, these "fancy toys" are a lot more affordable compared to the big ticket items of housing, childcare, and college education. Skimping out on them won't make a meaningful difference in the attempt to save up the massive amount of cash required for a down payment on a modern home. To wit:

"But if you skip that daily $6 Starbucks drink, you’ll have enough for the downpayment in 29.22 years," Yokahana joked in the comments.

"I hate that housing and transportation have become luxuries," Molly added.

"Imagine spending 3x your rent on a microwave," Donutdisaster wrote.

Older people may see millennials with multiple TVs in their home, along with iPhones and tablets, and think that money could be better saved up in service of the "American dream." But the truth is that those savings won't really help, and worse, they'll make life pretty unenjoyable in the meantime!


Why are luxury goods more affordable now than they were in the '80s?

The price of manufactured goods has steadily fallen over the last few decades due to technological improvements and trade policies that have allowed the U.S. to import goods from places where labor costs are cheaper.

"International, global competition lowers prices directly from lower-cost imported goods, and indirectly by forcing U.S. manufacturers to behave more competitively, with lower prices, higher quality, better service, et cetera," Sociologist Joseph Cohen of Queens University said, according to Providence Journal.

Even as recently as the early 2000s, a high-quality TV was likely to cost over $1,000. Nowadays you can get an equivalent, or better, television set for just a few hundred bucks.

Why are housing prices so high?

Housing prices in the US have soared due to the low inventory caused by the Great Recession, mortgage rates, and zoning laws that make building more challenging.

Rents have increased considerably since the pandemic due to low inventory, inflation, barriers to home ownership, and the fact that more people want to live alone than with a roommate or romantic partner.

Smith’s breakdown of the economic changes over the past two generations makes a strong case for the idea that millennial financial troubles have more to do with systemic problems than spending habits. The boomers got a bad deal regarding luxury items, and the millennials with necessities. Wouldn’t living in a world where both were affordable in the same era be great?

This article originally appeared in February. It has been updated.

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These 4 words can keep a conversation flowing forever no matter how bad you are at small talk

There's literally no way to screw this up.

Credit: Canva

A couple talking over coffee.

Many people find making small talk to be an excruciating experience. They think it’s boring to talk with a stranger about the weather, sports, or weekend plans. They may also feel like they don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, or they don’t understand the point of having one in the first place.

However, those who excel at making small talk have a tremendous advantage in their professional and romantic relationships, as well as forming new friendships. Most importantly, small talk is a window to transition into medium talk or, eventually, deep, meaningful conversations. The problem is that many people get stuck in small talk, and things stall before progressing to something beneficial.

conversation, friends, small talk, chatting Two women chatting in front of a fire. Credit: Atlantic Ambience/Pexels

How to get better at small talk

The great thing is that, like anything, making small talk is a skill that we can all improve by learning some simple conversation techniques. One technique that is great for keeping a conversation going, like hitting a ball back and forth past a net in tennis, is a simple statement:

"It reminds me of…”

A Redditor recently shared some great examples of how the phrase can be used to turn a mundane topic, such as the weather, into something much more fun:

Them: "It's been really rainy, huh?"

You:

Option 1 (Personal Story): "Yeah, it reminds me of a time I went on a run in the rain and nearly got hit by a car."

Option 2 (Music / Pop Culture): "It reminds me of every Adele song. When I'm driving, I feel like I'm in a music video."

Option 3 (Family): "It reminds me of my dad, he used to love playing with us in the rain as kids."

Option 4 (Thing you watched / World News): "It reminds me of this documentary I saw where they're trying to make it rain in the Sahara Desert.”

Option 5 (Place you lived): “It reminds me of when I lived in Australia, it barely ever rained there. I actually love this weather.”


- YouTube www.youtube.com

You see in this example that using “It reminds me of…” opened up the conversation to five potential new and more exciting topics. The “You” in the story could have responded with, “Yeah, it sure is rainy,” and the conversation would have ended right there. But instead, branching off the topic of rain into something a bit deeper took the conversation to the next level. You get extra points if you can take the “reminds me of” into a topic that you assume the other person will be interested in.

What’s a polite way to change the topic in a conversation?

Using “this reminds me of…” is also a polite way to move the topics in another direction, especially when it's a topic that you don’t want to discuss or one that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. Or, if it’s a situation where the other person is monologuing on one topic for a very long time, this makes it easy to transition away from their diatribe.

conversation, small talk, chatting, cafe Two guys chat at a cafe. Credit: Helena Lopes/Pexels

Ultimately, the phrase is an excellent way for you to save the person you’re talking to from being stuck in the small talk rut as well. It shows you understand that when someone brings up the weather, they are merely getting things started with something both of you have in common. They probably don’t want to talk about the weather for 30 minutes, unless they are a meteorologist. “It reminds me of…” is an invitation to go a bit deeper and shows the other person that you’d like to learn more about them.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.


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Pets

Yes, even cats have a favorite person. How they choose and how to tell they've picked you.

Just because they seem uninterested doesn't mean they don't pick favorites.

Photo credit: Canva

Even cats have a favorite person. Here's how they choose.

Cats may be persnickety at times or appear aloof to the presence of humans, but that doesn't mean they don't have their favorites. Just like dogs, cats also fancy having a human best friend, but unless the feline companion is overly affectionate, one may not know they've been chosen.

Some cats live up to the expectation that they will give the most attention to the person who likes them the least. But most cats are particular about who they choose to give their attention to. In a one-person household, there could be a real possibility that the human in the equation isn't the favorite. After all, cats are not dogs who will be excited by their humans' mere existence. Cats are much more like broke royalty who expect their humans to be grateful for the opportunity to scoop out their litter boxes.

cat; cats; pets; cat's favorite; people and cats; cat snuggles; cat behavior Curious cat and baby share a gentle moment on the grass.Photo credit: Canva

Due to the imaginary royal title, a cat is much more discerning about who they give their priceless attention to. Usually, it's easy to tell who kitty has designated as their favorite person in a multi-person household. But the question remains, how do they pick their person?

According to Union Lake Veterinary Hospital, "People who communicate with their cat by getting to know their cues and motives are more attractive to their cat companions." They added, "Another reason behind their preference is the cat’s breed or personality. If your cat is the type who wants to be chill and relax, they will probably gravitate towards the family member who is calm and quiet. Playful, energetic cats who love to stay active will likely choose a friend who gives them this exercise and attention. In fact, it may be that your cat is revealing something about you in why they choose to love you best."

cat; cats; pets; cat's favorite; people and cats; cat snuggles; cat behavior Feline friends sharing a tender moment by the window.Photo credit: Canva

Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist and founder of Cat Behavior Solutions, Molly DeVoss, explains to Rover that cats prefer people who have a calming presence, feed them, and play with them. She also shares how trauma in a cat's early life influences how they form attachments to humans. "If a cat (or kitten) were in an abusive or neglectful situation with a certain demographic, they’re more likely to feel uncomfortable and unsafe around some types of people."

How can you tell if a cat has chosen you as their favorite human?

Cats will let you know that you might be their favorite person by doing a few things. According to DeVoss, if a cat is keen on you being their number one human, they'll do things like headbutt your hands, legs, and even forehead. They'll bring you their toys, rub their scent on you, rub their teeth or mouth on you, and groom you by licking your hair. DeVoss also says that when a cat exposes their belly or flops around briefly, it displays a deep level of trust.

cat; cats; pets; cat's favorite; people and cats; cat snuggles; cat behavior A sweet moment shared with a fluffy friend.Photo credit: Canva

To become your cat's favorite person, you may need to start sharing some common interests. That doesn't mean you have to stalk bugs or start knocking things off of counters, but if your cat likes watching out the window, you can make it a shared activity. Cats can also be trained to perform tricks, especially those that are active and attentive to their surroundings. You can even get a cat play yard or "catio" for the ones that seem as if they're longing to do some porch sitting with you.

You can also bond with them by talking to them throughout the day, even if they don't know what you're saying, Union Lake Veterinary Hospital says. Being affectionate with your cat more often, with pets, hugs, and scratches, will make them feel loved and safe. Doing some of these things will have your feline companion purring their little hearts out in no time.

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Family

All families in New Mexico will get free childcare in unprecedented policy move

“It’s not an expenditure, it’s an investment."

Photo credit: Canva

As of November, all childcare will be no-cost for families in New Mexico.

In the modern era, one of the biggest financial considerations families have to navigate is the cost of childcare. Many families can't make it on one income, but those who work in lower-wage jobs often find that childcare costs nearly as much as they make, putting them between a pricey rock and an expensive hard place. Single parents are even more stuck, and with the cost of other basic living expenses putting a squeeze on people's pocketbooks, most have no choice but to work full-time.

That's why New Mexico becoming the first U.S. state to provide universal, no-cost childcare to all families across the state, regardless of income, is a big deal. As of Nov. 1, 2025, that financial burden is lifted for all families statewide.

new mexico, policy, childcare, families, kids, daycare New Mexico will cover childcare costs for all families across the state, regardless of income. www.facebook.com

“The blueprint for early childhood education in America is happening right here in New Mexico,” Lujan Grisham said at a news conference at the state Capitol. That blueprint includes eliminating the current income limit (which is 400% of the federal poverty level) to qualify for childcare assistance, increasing the pay for childcare providers to a minimum of $18 an hour, and a plan to build 55 more licensed childcare centers and register 1,000 new in-home daycares. The state estimates an additional 5,000 early childhood professionals are needed to fully achieve a universal system, which means more job opportunities for New Mexico residents as well.

According to the Albuquerque Journal, the Early Childhood Education and Care Department (ECECD) currently spends about $463 million per year (about half of that department's budget) on child care assistance for families. Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham will reportedly seek an additional $120 million during the 30-day session that begins in January to fully implement the new plan.

“It’s not an expenditure, it’s an investment," said Lt. Gov. Howie Morales. That appears to be how many countries around the world view it as well, since the United States sits as an outlier among developed nations when it comes to money spent subsidizing childcare.

“Child care is essential to family stability, workforce participation, and New Mexico’s future prosperity,” said Lujan Grisham. “By investing in universal child care, we are giving families financial relief, supporting our economy, and ensuring that every child has the opportunity to grow and thrive.”

Pew Research found that a majority of Americans believe providing free child care would encourage more people to have children, which is significant since birth rates in the U.S. have dropped and fertility rates worldwide are in a sharp decline. Economists and other experts have expressed concern over declining populations being unable to replace themselves and the social and economic ramifications of that potentiality. While the number of children someone has is a personal family decision, initiatives like universal childcare make it easier for families to have the number of children they desire.

“Early childhood care and education is a public good,” said ECECD Sec. Elizabeth Groginsky. “By providing universal access and improving pay for our early childhood workforce, we are easing financial pressure on families, strengthening our economy, and helping every child learn in safe, nurturing environments. This is the kind of investment that builds equity today and prosperity for the future.”

new mexico, daycare, babies, toddlers, universal childcare Families in New Mexico won't have to worry about affording childcare. Photo credit: Canva

What many Americans may not know is that the U.S. actually did have universal childcare once before. During World War II, the U.S. government subsidized childcare so mothers could work and contribute to the war effort. An estimated 550,000 to 600,000 children were cared for at daycare facilities at no cost for families, but despite letters and petitions asking to keep the program going, the government ended it in 1946.

Will other states follow in New Mexico's footsteps? We'll see. New Mexico appears to be a good place to start investing more in early childhood and childcare, as the state ranks close to the bottom in child well-being, health, and education. While government can't fix all societal problems, it can strive to ensure that families have the resources they need to stay above water and afford the basic necessities.

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