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This silly Scottish self-care trick from the 1800s could help you finally feel rested for once

It's called "hurkle-durkling" and you shouldn't feel guilty for enjoying it.

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Wondering where she got that rested glow? She hurkle-durkled.

Desperate times call for desperate, or sometimes even utterly ridiculous, measures. "Hurkle-durkle" might be the silliest-sounding phrase ever, but it could be the missing step in your self-care routine. Hurkle-durkling simply means to linger in bed long past the time when you “should” already be up. It’s a Scottish term dating back to the 1800s, originally having more to do with sitting in a crouching position either for warmth or secrecy, but it eventually took on a more relaxed and positive connotation.

It’s a word that only the biggest etymology enthusiast would know had it not been plucked from obscurity thanks to TikTok. Now, it's gone viral. The hurkle-durkling trend seems to have started with actress Kira Kosarin when she shared it as her “word of the day.” “I do be hurkling," she joked, "and I do be durkling and once I’ve hurkled my last durkle in a given morning I will get up, but I’m a big fan of a hurkle-durkle."


@kirakosarin

hurkle-durkle, u deserve it <3

Kosarin’s clip prompted others to share videos of themselves enjoying a good hurkle-durkling, blissfully wrapped in their sheets, basking in the sunlight, leisurely reading, etc. One woman hailing from Scotland even joked, “[The Scottish] knew it was so critical to well-being they made a whole term about it. So, no, I’m not being lazy or wasting my life. I’m practicing an ancestral right of passage. I’m connecting with my culture and heritage.”

It sounds awesome, refreshing, and freeing...but at this point you might be thinking, Wait, isn’t this just bed-rotting?

Bed-rotting, another TikTok trend about lying in bed, and hurkle-durkling are similar, but have very different contexts. Bed-rotting has more to do with symptoms of burnout and fatigue, whereas hurkle-durkling is a bit more hygge, if you will. It’s seen as a pleasurable activity meant to promote rest for overall wellbeing. Plus, a hurkle-durkle has an end in sight, whereas bed-rotting can take up an entire weekend, or longer.

bed-rotting, hurkle-durkling, bed rot, hurkle durkle, rest, burn out Bed-rotting has a more negative connotation...Image via Canva

No matter how silly "hurkle-durkle" sounds, it could be seriously good for us. A 2017 study found that sleeping in, even a couple days a week, reduce the chances of a heart attack or stroke by 63%, especially for folks who get less than six hours of sleep through the rest of the week (so, everyone, basically). Not only that, but getting those few extra minutes of shut-eye from hitting the snooze can help increase alertness and boost our mood.

Really, as with any self care practice, balance is key. Experts warn against staying in bed as an everyday practice or to avoid responsibilities an uncomfortable feelings, especially as too much inactivity can worsen feelings of depression. In some cases, sleeping in can also be dangerous to your health because many people tend to sleep in or oversleep as a way to "catch up" on the sleep they may have missed throughout the week. Experts suggest adults get seven to nine hours of sleep per night. Failing to do so can accumulate over time and lead to sleep debt, which is hard to escape and can increase the risk of health issues like obesity, heart disease, and more. In short, sleeping in on weekends is okay when done mindfully and moderately; in this context, it can actually be the rejuvenation we long for and that too many of us don’t grant ourselves.

In fact, Kristin Wilson, a licensed professional counselor and chief experience officer, told Yahoo Life that perhaps so many people are leaning into silly, catchy terms like "hurkle-durkle" because they make rest and self-care—activities many Americans "are hesitant to celebrate and fully embrace”—more accessible. Popular accounts like The Nap Ministry Self Care is for Everyone on Instagram prove that social media can play a major role in making self-care accessible and acceptable, with each account sporting 553 thousand and one million followers respectively.

"Sometimes our bodies just need a break, and we don’t want to feel guilty about taking time to rest," Wilson explained. "Giving this behavior a clever social media name can make it feel more socially acceptable and when it trends and becomes popular, it normalizes the need for relaxation within the community of followers."

So with that, show yourself some love with a little hurkle-durkle. It’s fun to say, and oh so important to do.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Debate over night vs. morning showers gets surprisingly heated. Here's what experts say.

Certain details might change people's minds about when they shower.

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People have strong feelings about showering in the morning or at night.

When we think of life's big questions, we usually think about things like the meaning of life and whether or not God exists. We probably don't think about which way a toilet paper roll should hang or how often we should wash our bed sheets, but interestingly enough, those practical daily life questions often lead to more heated debates than the mystical existential ones.

Case in point: A viral X thread in which people discuss whether it's best to shower in the morning or at night. It appears that people have surprisingly strong feelings about the subject that they vehemently defend. Is what time of day to clean your body a world-changing debate? No. Is it a life-changing one on an individual level? Maybe.

The debate started when someone posted about normalizing showering and wearing deodorant to school, and a person responded that night showering was becoming less normalized. "We need to talk about it," they wrote, and talk about it people did.

The morning shower people chimed in with their thoughts and reasoning:

"Good, morning showers is the way to go. Don't tell me you get out of your bed and just start the day all crusty And why would you shower just before sleeping like."

"I shower in the morning because helps me wake up. That’s why I don’t shower at night."

"I like feeling clean in the morning before school, simple as."

"In the morning u wake up for the day and also its easier to fix ur hair if it dries weirdly while u sleep."

"That’s because you sweat more in your sleep (yes, even if you’re cold) so you wake up sweatier and greasier than you went to bed. Showering in the morning makes the most sense to me, I’d rather not go out sweaty and stanky."

"Think about it. You shower at 9 pm and wake up at 7 am. That's already 10 hours, no shower. Then you have a full day doing jacksht. Do you really think your body won't start to smell throughout the day? This is mind-boggling to me."

shower, morning shower, showering at in the morning, woman in showerSome people prefer to wake up and shower.Photo credit: Canva

But the night shower people made their own cases as well:

"People assuming people stink being a night shower person when really we should be assuming these people don't wash their sheets cause how are you gonna stink that fast just by sleeping on a presumably clean bed."

"Morning showering makes no sense, you’re showering before you get dirty, you then come home, sleep in your bed dirty, then wake up and shower."

"I shower at night so I sleep and wake up clean. I feel nasty as hell if I go to bed without a shower."

"Night showers make the most sense to me. You wake up clean, go about your day and get dirty, wash the dirt off before you go to bed, get in bed clean, wake up clean, etc."

"Why would anyone go to sleep dirty???? to sit in your filth for 8hrs?? build up all that bacteria on ur sheets?? so gross. u dont get dirty sleeping in a clean bed. so shower at night, wear deodorant to bed if u sweat, and wash ur face in the morning. that should be the norm."

shower, nighttime shower, showering at night, woman in showerSome people insist that showering at night is the only way to go.Photo credit: CanvaPhoto credit: Canva

As always, there were some centrists on the matter, explaining that everyone has different needs and preferences and lifestyles that might lend themselves to one or the other:

"Depends on the day tbh, if I’m working out and running errands outside then definitely a night shower, if I stay in all day and laze around then my usual morning shower is all I do, so sometimes two times a day sometimes one!"

"When I worked in an office and needed to greet people all day I was a morning showerer. Now I do manual (and quite filthy) labor, I cannot imagine even stepping foot into my bedroom with the yuck of the day still on me."

"Controversial take but imagine everyone is different and everyone's body behaves different and either is absolutely fine as long as u use deodorant."

shower, morning shower, showering at night, man in showerSome people insist on showering at night and in the morning.Photo credit: Canva

And then there were the double judgers, who were appalled that everyone isn't showering in the morning and at night:

"The amount of people in the comments not taking a shower both before bed and in the morning is disappointing."

"Tbh, especially if you work or are on your feet for multiple hours of the day it’s at minimum 2 showers a day."

"Night shower so you clean off the dirtiness from outside and get into a clean bed morning rinse so you rinse off the sweat from the night and get a good morning freshener."

shower, morning shower, showering at night, when should you take a showerSome people insist on showering at night and in the morning.Photo credit: Canva

The sweat and stink factors seem to be the crux of the debate divide, with some assumptions being made all around. For instance, the morning showers assume the night showerers aren't putting on deodorant after their shower. Some even point to the idea that putting on antiperspirant before bed isn't healthy, as your armpits "need to breathe." Many night showerers assume it's a given that they'd deodorize after their shower. Some people sweat more at night than others, making nighttime showering seem more or less icky to different people.

So what do the experts say about showering in the morning or at night?

In short, it doesn't really matter all that much.

“There’s no definitive answer for the global population on whether to take an evening vs. morning shower,” dermatologist Alok Vij, MD told the Cleveland Clinic. “But for each individual, there tends to be a right answer. And it’s all based on preference.”

But what about the sheets staying clean? Eh, it's not quite that simple.

Microbiologist Primrose Freestone wrote in The Conversation that she personally prefers day showering and asserts that night showering doesn't prevent your sheets from getting icky. "Even if you’ve freshly showered before bed, you will still sweat during the night—whatever the temperature is," she wrote. "Your skin microbes will then eat the nutrients in that sweat. This means that by the morning, you’ll have both deposited microbes onto your bed sheets and you’ll probably also wake up with some BO."

In fact, she added, “A morning shower suggests your body will be cleaner of night-acquired skin microbes when putting on fresh clothes. You’ll also start the day with less sweat for odor-producing bacteria to feed on—which will probably help you smell fresher for longer during the day compared to someone who showered at night."

man dancing in the showerMorning showers might have a slight benefit over nighttime ones.Giphy

The most important behavior in this discussion is washing your sheets regularly—at least weekly—no matter when you shower, according to both Freestone and Vij.

“It’s a wash,” Dr. Vij said in response to the sheets question. “Regardless of when you shower, you should wash your sheets on a regular basis. You’re still going to deposit a lot of dead skin cells, accumulated overnight sweat, bacteria and oils. Fungus is going to live there. There’s all sorts of contaminants and pollutants in your bed whether you take a shower beforehand or not.”

The only people who might actually be "wrong" in the debate are the folks who are judging those who aren't showering twice a day. Dermatologists don't recommend showering more than once per day so as not to upset the balance of natural oils and good bacteria that live on your skin. In fact, several times a week is sufficient for most people (barring those who do extremely dirty or sweaty work, of course).

Bottom line is, shower when you want to, morning or night. But do shower, and make sure to wash your sheets regularly.

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People are applauding one woman's unique theory that 'baddies' actually make the best moms

A happy mother is a good mother.

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Three kinds of "baddie" moms.

One mom is giving the whole “take care of yourself first” adage a refreshingly cool spin. Her advice?

“Be a baddie first, and a mom second.”

In a clip posted to her TikTok, Mary Wilson (@theemarywilson) argued that "women who are baddies first and mother second are actually the best moms," since “moms who feel good about themselves are better mothers. When you take care of yourself first, you're better able to take care of your kids."

Sure, we’ve all heard the phrase "Put on your own oxygen mask first.” While the meaning behind this metaphor—the importance of self care taking precedence—is certainly true, it’s not quite as intriguing as being a “baddie,” is it? Because, let's be honest, who doesn't want to feel like a baddie?

@theemarywilson

Baddie 1st, mom 2nd #momlife #momsoftiktok #motherhood #mothersday

And of course, this can look different for everyone. As Wilson shared with Newsweek, her “baddie routine” consists of maintaining her hair and nails, making time for daily walks, watching her favorite reality shows, attending therapy, reading, and trying new hobbies. But for someone else, it might be reading a book, going to school, finding a rigorous workout class…the point is to do something that fills your cup, makes you feel good in your body (sexy, even!), and keeps you stimulated.

Basically, “Whatever makes you feel like a baddie, make sure you do it,” Wilson advised.

And of course, the added benefit—besides just feeling great—is the effect it’ll have on kids as well.

moms, motherhood, self care for moms, self care, kids, raising kids, mental health, wellbeing, women's health“Kids love to see their mothers happy. Your happy energy makes them happy."Photo credit: Canva

“Kids love to see their mothers happy. Your happy energy makes them happy,” said Wilson. Or, in other words, “a happy mother is a good mother.” Not to mention, "It also sets a great example for my child as he grows into adulthood knowing that self-worth and happiness matters," she told Newsweek.

Wilson’s video, which racked up over 270,000 views, seemed to really resonate with other moms.

“You should always be your child’s first example of what 'self love’ looks like," one person wrote.

Another shared, “I got pregnant again and wasn’t getting my hair/nails done etc. and when I finally did again my son was like who is thatttt. I won’t ever let myself go again!”

And, as one viewer noted, this concept is “100% scientifically proven.” Multiple studies have shown the correlation between mama’s wellbeing and that of her kiddos. One study from Harvard even showed that a mother’s warmth and happiness could literally predict her children’s emotional and social development.

moms, motherhood, self care for moms, self care, kids, raising kids, mental health, wellbeing, women's health“You should always be your child’s first example of what 'self love’ looks like."Photo credit: Canva

Of course, this should by no means make moms feel pressured to always put on a happy face in front of their children, but it does offer a kind reminder that self care takes care of more than just the self. Parenting means making sacrifices, sure, but more and more moms are choosing more for themselves than being martyrs and 24/7 caretakers. And lo and behold, it is not only possible, but beneficial—for moms, for kids, for everyone.

Hopefully this acts as your own personal permission slip to do whatever makes you feel like a baddie today, whether you're a mother or not.

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Wellness expert explains what 'self-care' really is and it's not what we've been sold

Self-care doesn't need to cost you a thing.

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Self-care is not what we've be taught one therapist explains

Self-care. It's something that has been co-opted by wellness influencers and gurus that somehow (and all-too-often) involves spending money on something luxurious. Self-care is often branded as things like pedicures, vacations, and hour-long massages at the spa, but according to Dr. Raquel Martin, we've been doing self-care all wrong.

In July 2024, Martin—a licensed psychologist—uploaded a video to her Instagram explaining what self-care is truly supposed to be. Spoiler alert? It's not meant to be indulgent. At least, indulgence shouldn't be an all-the-time expectation of self-care. Martin acknowledges that the wellness industry has monetized and conflated self-care with self-indulgence, and she explains that having self-care propped up as something that is indulgent isolates people who cannot afford those types of activities.

The psychological toll for conflating self-care with self-indulgence can get dangerously high. In the 2020 Psychology Today article, "Why Does Self-Care Sometimes Feel So Hard?", author and licensed psychologist Alicia H. Clark Psy.D notes that "indulgence stops being self-care when you feel guilty or unhappy with yourself, and this threshold is different for everyone." She goes on to say that "one person's self-caring indulgence can be another's gateway to self-harm, depending on your relationship with the activity, your capacity for moderation, and the reality of its consequences." This makes wellness influencers who tout a heavily indulgent, "treat yo' self" ideology of self-care all the more dangerous. Self-care is not one size fits all, and for those who struggle with self-discipline and moderation, the mindset can do more harm than good.

self-care, indulgence, moderation, treats, discipline Parks And Recreation Treat Yo Self GIFGiphy

So, what is self-care actually? How is it achieved? And is it always supposed to feel good? Dr. Martin goes on to share how she practices self-care, and what she lays out was surprising her viewers. According to Martin, "Self-care is not responding to every call and, if I do not have the bandwidth to have the conversation, stating that I don't have the bandwidth to have the conversation." She also notes that she says "No" to things she doesn't want to do, sets a financial budget, and does not drink caffeine after 4 p.m.

These things might seem a little boring when compared to indulgent self-care, but one thing is clear: these self-care practices are actually good for Martin's body, health, and overall wellness.

Much of what Martin listed are things a lot of people don't consider as self-care, but in actuality, self-care is defined simply by taking care of one's self. This means practicing self-care is getting in a few minutes of exercise a day, drinking more water, or spending time with friends. You don't have to spend money to care for yourself.

yoga, exercise, movement, body, health, self-careA woman practices Yoga.Image via Canva.

Commenters were shocked and thankful for Martin's clarification on what self-care is actually supposed to be:

"Love this list!! As a massage therapist, I have to call out the misconception that massage is indulgent. I'm always telling my patients that self care is more than a bath. I will be sharing this list with my patients. I'm also trying to make massage more accessible," one person writes.

"Thank you for this post. I’m internalizing your advice to see how I can apply. You resonated with my thoughts on so many levels. However, you also provided some clarity and food for thought/fuel for action," another says.

"I really appreciate what you said about pallet cleansers! Sometimes I get frustrated with myself because I'm not able to read and consume and learn about all the issues different people are facing. It's really important to me to learn about those things, not just for awareness, but also so I can do something about it. But self care is so important throughout that, like leaving my phone in the other room, or watching my comfort shows like you said. I often read kids books or TV because of how horrible the world is right now, and I need something extremely wholesome to balance it out. Also, workshop? I'm not sure what that means but I like learning from you. Thanks," another viewer shares.

So, maybe it's time to collectively ditch those indulgent expectations of self-care and really take a look at ways we can actually care for ourselves instead.

This article originally appeared last year.

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