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Joy

15 women reveal the 'underrated' reasons why they left their significant others

Modern society has created new reasons for people to break up.

woman, break ups, significant others
via Moose Photos/Pexels, Christina Morillo/Pexels, Teona Swift/Pexels

Why are women breaking up with men these days?

When people are ready to leave a relationship, many feel pressure to have a compelling reason. There are reasons that no one will disagree with, such as a partner's abuse, infidelity, or trouble getting along with family.

But what if you just aren’t feeling the relationship anymore, or don’t think they appreciate all you have to offer? Those can be perfectly fine reasons, too. It's totally fine to break up with someone over reasons that some may find trivial.

It’s your life; you can’t live it with your chosen people.

A Reddit user named Grand_Gate_8836 asked the AskWomen forum, “What is a very underrated reason for breaking up with your significant other?” and many women shared that they broke up with their partners because they just weren’t feeling the relationship. Others brought up reasons that people may not have had in the past, such as pornography addiction, immaturity and spending too much time playing video games.


On a deeper level, the discussion made many women who feel insecure about their reasons for leaving someone feel a lot better about following their hearts.

Here are 15 of the best “underrated” reasons for breaking up with one’s significant other.

1. Mental health

"I think bad mental health can be a big reason for splitting from someone. Nobody tells you how lonely it can get to be with someone who has mental health issues. It can take years for you to understand them and then eventually realize that you can’t help them until they choose to help themselves. This is due to severe unawareness around mental health issues I feel." — Grand_Gate8836

2. They don't find you attractive

"At the risk of sounding petty: they don't 100% love the way you look, even if they try to spin it in a positive way. I mean statements like 'she's not beautiful but I love her personality and sense of humor"'or 'she's a 5 on a good day but I guess so am I' or 'she's not what I'd consider my type but there's something about her.' I appreciate honesty as much as one can, but in my opinion, this is just depressing. Beauty comes in so many different shapes and forms. How can someone not find it in a person they claim to love? To me it basically means your SO is settling for you and will be forever comparing you to some kind of ideal you don't match." — JankyRobot42069

3. Not the outdoorsy-type

"I broke up with someone who had very conflicting interests and hobbies to mine and assumed I would just be on board with taking them up with him. I like the outdoors. I do not like devoting every weekend to hiking." — Justwannaread3

"Imo, this is so underrated. 'I enjoy X, but I do not enjoy devoting all of my free time to X.' is absolutely valid in and of itself. And leaving someone who doesn't grasp that is so much better for mental health in the long run." — DragonFlySunrise

4. Different goals

"You know, one thing that doesn't get talked about enough is having different life goals and values as a reason to break up with someone. It's not just about whether you both like the same movies or enjoy the same hobbies. It's about where you see yourself going in life and what you believe in. Imagine you're super into traveling the world and experiencing new cultures, but your partner is more about settling down in one place and building a stable career. It might not seem like a big deal at first, but over time, those differences can really start to wear on the relationship. You might find yourself feeling like you're not on the same page about the important stuff, like where you want to live or what you want to prioritize in life. So yeah, having different life goals and values might not be the most obvious reason to break up, but it can definitely be a deal-breaker if you're not aligned in those areas." — Good1Mufferaw

"It never ceases to amaze me that people ignore compatibility issues. It's the most important feature in a relationship. And marriages that continue regardless of how whack the lack of compatibility is." — Savagefluerelis23

5. You're not happy

"They're just not making you happy. You're just not happy with them, and you deep down feel you could be happier elsewhere either alone or with someone else. They're a good, kind person, a responsible adult, etc, but they're not "it" for you. This is often considered a trivial reason to end a relationship or marriage but it's such a BIG DEAL. You should want to be happy and should want them to be happy too! You know when you're not happy. This idea that you should only leave a partnership or friendship because of something deemed "more serious" doesn't feel right to me. One of the hardest things is walking away from someone who is not abusing you, is really good on paper but it just NOT doing it for you because society will always shame people and especially women for leaving because of unhappiness. That inkling feeling underneath of 'they might not be it for me,' we are taught to just not listen to ourselves." — The_Philosophied

6. Bros came first

"He prioritized his friends over me. I think prioritizing friends and family are important, but it got to a point where I was miserable. We were both mid-thirties, and he wanted to go to parties and bars all the time to see his friends. We never had quality time together. It reached its breaking point when my aunt suffered cardiac arrest and was airlifted from 700km away to the hospital in my city. Instead of coming to the hospital with me, or even emotionally supporting me when I went to be with her, he went to the bar and got drunk. I didn't even get a text or call for 24 hrs he just disappeared. When I got upset, he said, 'Seeing Dave is more important, he's my friend' I broke up with him the next day. My aunt died a few hours later." — MeatCat88

7. Pornography

"Porn addiction. Society has brainwashed people into thinking this is normal behavior." — 1989sBiggestFan13

"This is what killed my relationship with my ex-fiance after 7 years. I genuinely thought I was asexual -- nope. He just watched so much, such intense porn (even when I was putting out) that I stopped having any sexual interest at all." — Arwynn

8. Conspiracy theories

"There wasn’t an insane conspiracy theory this dude didn’t believe. ...The first one he told me: on our second date was around the time of the Miami Mall incident. He truly believed 8ft tall shadow aliens invaded the Miami Mall and the government was keeping hush about it. His further conspiracy was that the government was overrun by 'replaced people' basically aliens pretending to be people." — SinfullySInless

9. Video games

"Video games are far more important than spending time with their partner. I'm a very simple person. I don't care about gifts or having money spent on me. Let's go for a walk in the park, just spend some time with me. My ex-husband would find any excuse to not spend time with me. The most common was 'gas costs money, I'd rather hang out at home.' His idea of 'hanging out' was him playing video games with his online friends while I sat quietly watching TV, but with the volume super low so his friends wouldn't be 'distracted.' God forbid I laughed at all, he'd get so mad at me for it." — NatAttack89

10. Peter Pan syndrome

"Peter Pan syndrome. When my 60-year-old boyfriend told me (53F) the reason he had not 1 dollar saved for his retirement is because he is a 'risk taker' and I’m not, I realized I’d have to support him for the rest of his life while he looked down on me for it and walked away." — Slosee

11. Domestic burden imbalance

"Incompatible cleaning habits. Seems like an easy thing to remedy but in reality different standards of cleanliness will create an uneven burden of domestic labor for the partner with higher standards, or create a living environment in which that partner is uncomfortable, or create a situation where the partner with lower standards feels constantly berated/nagged to do something they don’t see as benefitting them in any way. I know multiple couples who broke up at or just before the 'moving in' stage for this reason, and I think it’s a super valid way to decide you’re not compatible in a long-term domestic relationship." — Angstyaspen

12. Stuck in a rut

"Disinterest in trying or experiencing new things and only sticking with what they know. If you’re someone who enjoys trying new restaurants, going to events, exploring new cultural experiences, etc and your partner is content to sit at home in their comfort zone, it eventually gets frustrating. I refused to date someone because of this mentality. If it wasn’t happening within a few miles of his house, he wasn’t terribly excited about doing it. Also, men who think basketball or gym shorts are acceptable casual attire." — Edjennersmilkmaid

13. Fell out of love

"Because you don’t love them anymore. I say this is an underrated reason because so many people think they need a catalyst event in order to justify breaking up. But if you’re not happy and the relationship isn’t fulfilling, that’s a solid enough reason." — Lydviciousss

14. Immaturity

"It felt like parenting. Like I was hanging out with a kid all the time. I was doing all the work, all the driving, all the planning. Like I was managing a child. 'This ain’t my job.'" — K19081985

15. Geographically undesirable

"Not agreeing on where you want to live. I've seen people start a relationship while one or both was living abroad, thinking 'We'll figure it out.' But actually building a life and having kids somewhere far from your own roots, or just in a place you don't really like, is a lot." — Princess Sophia Black

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Modern Families

Husband who lost his job reluctantly moves family in with mother-in-law. Pure joy ensued.

Families moving in together isn't failure. Sometimes it's their greatest success.

Image via Canva

Katie Bunton shares her family's journey with multigenerational living.

Multigenerational living is not as common in our independent, self-sufficient American culture–but Instagrammer Katie Bunton (@ktbunton) is hoping her experience will open more people's minds to it. Bunton, her husband Harry and their twin boys recently moved in with their mother-in-law Louella Beale (@nana_lulu_love) after experiencing financial hardship, and opened up about the experience with her followers.

"We moved in with my MIL (mother-in-law) 2 months ago when my husband lost his job and I just keep thinking...it must have taken a lot of propaganda to make us believe this was failure," she writes in the video's caption.

In the inspiring video, Bunton showed her viewers some of the incredible benefits they've had with the extra support of Nana Lulu. From making and eating meals together to time spent in the garden and doing other menial daily tasks, she shows that life has truly improved–even though society may look at their living situation differently. "So you’re telling me, this isn’t how it was supposed to be all along ? #multigenerationalliving with @nana_lulu_love 🫶🏽," she captioned the video.

And viewers are showing their support. "I wholeheartedly believe that we’re supposed to be living with family❤️," one wrote. Another added, "It’s the best. My grandmother and mother live with us. I could never asked for a better support system. I would never ever live without multiple generations in the same house or compound." And another shared, "This has forever been my dream 😢 I’m with you, we’ve been lied to in the west. Intergenerational living is beautiful and to me the gold standard for living in harmony and raising children well ❤️."

And Nana Lulu herself commented, "🥹🥹😭😍😍 I’m such a lucky lucky so and so. 🙏🏽Thank you 🙏🏽 thank you 🙏🏽 thank you 🙏🏽 for the beautiful blessings of family love. 💛💛💛💛"

In another video, Bunton shared a vlog with her followers showing more about living with her MIL and the benefits of living multigenerationally. "You’re telling me we could have both parents present and hands on, all we have to do is just lower our cost of living? spend less money? And pool our resources with family? 🤯" she wrote.

In the video, she explains that her family moved in with Nana Lulu at the end of January 2025. "It's taken us quite a while to get into the swing of things. We moved into a new town as well," she adds.

Their routine has completely changed, but in a good way. And she has noticed positive changes in her relationship. "My husband has felt happier, lighter and more himself than I have ever seen him," she says.

The second video also got tons of positive comments from viewers who are loving their new living situation. "This is my definition of rich ❤️," one wrote. Another added, "As someone that doesn’t have a MIL to fall back on, I just want you to know that I’m so happy you have that. So happy you know the peace that extended family can bring and that you/your husband have the support you need to get to the next stage 🫶🏼💕." And another shared, "My husband and I live with my parents. They built us a basement apartment and I am forever grateful to them not only for that but for the bond it has allowed them to have with my kiddos ❤️ I definitely get caught up thinking we’ve done something wrong but we’ve just done what we can with the cards we are dealt. I am so grateful for my village."

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8 friends rally around nervous college student, helping her get ready for her first date

He picked her up with flowers.

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College girlfriends help nervous friend get ready for first date.

There are few things more nerve-wracking than going on a first date. But when you have a big group of supportive girlfriends who are there to help you pick out your outfit and do your hair and makeup, you know everything is gonna be okay.

And that was just the case for Auburn University student Avery (@averyy_ayers), who was featured in her friend Erin's (@erinv.logerinv.log) sweet video that captured her girl squad rallying around her to put her at ease and make her feel beautiful for her first date.

In the video, Erin documents how 8 girls crammed into a tiny dorm room to help Avery prep. "first date YAY!!!", she captioned the post.

The video begins with Avery trying on a number of different outfits for her friends, who all offer their opinions on if it is 'the one' or not. After trying on at least 5 different outfits (that got the 'thumbs up' or 'thumbs down' from the group), there is a clear winner: a colorful, floral smocked dress that she paired with sandals.

The girls are having a blast together, dancing and playing games while Avery continues to get ready. The fun and relaxed atmosphere helped put her nerves at ease. Next, one of her girlfriends has Avery sit in a chair to do her makeup. Then another friend does her hair using a curling wand to give her pretty waves. Once her look is complete, she gives her friends a twirl and they all clap for her.

glamGetting Ready Canadian GIF by Shay MitchellGiphy

The camera follows Avery as she leaves the dorm room and goes into the stairwell to make her way downstairs to meet her date, her nerves clearly ramping up. She meets her date outside, who is sitting on a bench waiting for her with flowers. He also put some effort into his outfit to look nice, rocking a white short sleeve button down and khakis. When he sees her, he stands up and goes to give her a hug. Of course, her girl squad is watching from the dorm, and she turns around and waves to them, showing the flowers with a big smile.


floweGive I Love You GIF by Jimmy ArcaGiphy

And viewers are loving the support of Avery's friends and her date's sweet efforts, too. "The vibes of a freshman college student living in the dorm rooms with all her best friends are immaculate! This is perfect!" one wrote. Another commented, "FLOWERS ON THE FIRST DATE? YESS SIR 🔥🔥🔥." Another wrote, "And he put effort into his outfit / looks so put together too!" And another viewer shared, "this is so girlhood ❤️😭 i can tell by her smile that she is just the BEST person to be around!! hope it went well! :)"

Thankfully, Avery did not leave viewers hanging. She gave multiples responses when asked in the comment section how the date went. Spoiler alert: it was a total success. When one viewer commented, "We need an update", she responded, "date was 10/10". And when another commented, "She has such joy. It is beautiful. How did this work out for her?", she also replied, "it went great!!"

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Pop Culture

'Wheel of Fortune' fans left shocked after contestant wins $50,000 solving impossible puzzle

“How in the world did you solve that last one?” asked host Ryan Seacrest.

Wheel of Fortune/Youtube

That was quite impressive.

Listen, while we all love a hilarious Wheel of Fortune fail, watching an epic win can be just as entertaining. And that’s exactly what recently happened on The Wheel when a contestant named Traci Demus-Gamble made a winning puzzle solve so out-of-nowhere that it made host Ryan Seacrest jokingly check her for a hidden earpiece.

In a clip posted to the show’s YouTube account Friday, Jan. 17, Demus-Gamble waved to her husband who was standing on the sidelines before going up to the stage for her next challenge: guess a four-word “phrase.”

Demus-Gamble wasn’t off to a great start, as only two of her given letters (“T” and “E”) made it to the board. And the odds didn’t improve much after Demus-Gamble, admittedly “nervous,” gave the letters “M,” “C,” “D,” and “O” and only two of those letters showed up once on the board.

“Again, not too much more, but who knows, you’ve had a lot of good luck tonight,” Seacrest said. “Maybe it’ll strike you.”

Then, all in under ten seconds (more like in 1.5 seconds), Demus-Gamble correctly guessed, “They go way back” like it was nothing.

Watch the incredible moment below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"How in the world did you solve that last one?" Seacrest asked.

"I just dug deep, I dug deep," Demus-Gamble said.

Yeah, you dug real deep," Seacrest replied. "Congratulations, great, great work."

“Now THAT was an amazing solve.”

“Wow! That was impressive!”

“I couldn't solve that one to save my life, but Demus-Gamble got it like it was nothing.”

“There's only one way to describe this to me: 😦”

At the end of the clip, Seacrest opened the envelope to reveal that Demus-Gamble’s puzzle solve won her $50,000, earning her a total win of $78,650. Certainly not chump change.

As for her winning strategy—Demus-Gamble assured no cheating was involved. “I just dug deep," she told Seacrest. We’ll say.

This article originally appeared in January

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Wellness

Physician breaks down the 7 kinds of rest people need and no wonder everyone's so exhausted

If you're tired despite getting enough sleep, you may need a different kind of rest.

Photo credit: Canva

We need other kinds of rest besides sleep.

Do you frequently find yourself feeling exhausted, maybe not physically, but mentally, emotionally, or existentially? Do you ever feel tired no matter how much sleep you get? When someone says, "You need to get some rest," what does that mean to you?

Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith has an explanation for that. The internal medicine physician explains in a TED Talk that sleep and rest are not the same thing—we have incorrectly conflated the two—and that there are actually 7 types of rest every human needs. Sleep takes care of some of our need for rest, but certainly not all, and our lack of these other kinds of rest may explain why so many of us feel so spent so much of the time.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

If you're feeling tired, wiped out, spent, or otherwise exhausted, take a look at these 7 kinds of rest and see what you might need to incorporate more of into your life.

1. Physical rest

Dr. Dalton-Smith says that physical rest can be passive or active. Passive rest is what we often think of as physical rest, like sleeping or napping. Active physical rest includes things like stretching, massage, yoga, or other things we do to restore and refresh our bodies.

2. Mental rest

If you find your mind racing at night as you try to go to sleep, you may need some mental rest. Examples of mental rest include disconnecting from the constant mental stimuli of modern life, engaging in meditation and mindfulness exercises, using a notebook to spill your overflow of thoughts. Mental rest can be done in short spurts throughout the day or incorporated into your daily routine.

mental rest, sensory overload, rest, relaxation, taking a breakWe all need to give our minds and senses a break sometimes.Photo credit: Canva

3. Sensory rest

We live in a world of fairly constant sensory bombardment, and finding ways to relieve your senses can be a challenge. Dr. Dalton-Smith suggests sensory rest by turning off electronics, dimming lights, putting on comfortable clothes, embracing the stillness and quiet for a bit. Sitting in your car with the engine off an be a great place for sensory rest, as the car often blocks more sound than our homes do. Lying in a bathtub with your ears under the water is another way to create a sensory respite.

4. Creative rest

When we are constantly dealing with problems that need to be solved, our creative energy can get drained. Creative rest means doing things that restore our creative energy and awaken the awe and wonder that lie at the heart of creativity. This kind of rest includes things like indulging in the beauty of nature, enjoying an artistic performance or creation, or even something as simple as doodling. It can also mean setting up spaces around you that inspire you.

"Turn your workspace into a place of inspiration by displaying images of places you love and works of art that speak to you," suggests Dr. Dalton-Smith. "You can’t spend 40 hours a week staring at blank or jumbled surroundings and expect to feel passionate about anything, much less come up with innovative ideas."

rest, relaxing in nature, beauty of natureA little time enjoying nature's beauty can restore your creativity.Photo credit: Canva

5. Emotional rest

Some of us face more emotional demands than others, but all of us need breaks from them once in a while. Emotional rest might look like saying no to requests that you know will be emotionally draining, talking to a trusted friend or loved one about things you're struggling with, journaling to unload some emotional weight you've been carrying, or stepping away from the urge to people please. Emotional rest might also include talking to a therapist or counselor (though sometimes that's actually hard emotional work).

6. Social rest

Much is made about people being introverts or extroverts, but we all need social rest sometimes. Taking some time to be alone with no social expectations or obligations once in a while is healthy for everyone. But social rest can also mean recognizing which relationships in our lives drain us and which ones fill us up and choosing to engage with the latter. Keeping track of your social battery and doing what you need to do to recharge it is social rest.

meditation, spiritual rest, mindfulness, nurturing your spiritMeditation is one form of spiritual rest.Photo credit: Canva

7. Spiritual rest

Existential exhaustion requires tapping into something deeper, which is where spiritual rest comes in. Dr. Dalton-Smith describes spiritual rest as "the ability to connect beyond the physical and mental and feel a deep sense of belonging, love, acceptance and purpose." Spiritual rest might look like prayer or meditation for those who connect with a higher power, but it can also look like volunteering in your community, communing with nature, spending purposeful time with loved ones, or otherwise connecting with your spiritual side.

One thing that's clear in Dr. Dalton-Smith's explanations of different kinds of rest is that rest doesn't mean not doing anything. The purpose of rest is to restore and refresh, and that can actually mean doing something active. When we don't pay heed to the kinds of rest we need, we suffer. As Dr. Dalton-Smith says, ignoring those needs results in "a culture of high-achieving, high-producing, chronically tired, burned-out individuals."

We definitely need sleep, but when sleep alone isn't restoring us, we need to examine what other kinds of rest we may be deficient in. Dr. Dalton-Smith even created a quiz to help people determine where they might want to look for better rest, which you can take here. You can also find more of Dr. Dalton-Smith's thoughts on rest in her book, "Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity."

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Science

Sorry, chimps. Oxford professor says octopuses will rule Earth after humans.

They are civilization builders.

via Dan Asaki/Unsplash and Canva/Photos

The last man on earth and a perplexed chimp.

It’s upsetting for many to consider that humans may not be around one day. But it’s not shocking, given the damage that we’ve done to the planet through climate change and the fact that we’re the only species to create a nuclear bomb. Even if we don’t do ourselves in, the odds aren’t in our favor of the Earth not finding a way to eliminate the surface disturbance known as humanity. Studies show that since life began on Earth, 99% of species have ever lived have gone extinct.

So, after the last human on Earth passes away, who will take over the mantle of being the apex predator and build Earth’s next great civilization? University of Oxford professor Tim Coulson has posited that a rather unorthodox species, the octopus, will take over after we’re gone. His new book, The Universal History of Us, outlines his thinking for the cephalopod takeover.

What species will take over the Earth after humans are gone?

octopus, octopus swimming, end of man, evolution, smart animals, survivors, human extinctionA happy octopus swimming.via Canva/Photos


Most people would think that the great apes are our natural successors. Still, Coulson says otherwise. “Hominids such as chimpanzees and bonobos are intelligent animals with opposable thumbs, tool-using abilities, and, at least for short distances, the capacity to walk on two legs, traits shared with us,” Coulson told The European. “Despite these similarities, they would likely face extinction alongside humans, as they are equally exposed to threats in our shared environment.”

Coulson says intelligent birds will fail to take over after humans because they “lack the fine motor skills needed to construct a civilization." However, octopuses have the physical, mental, and social possibilities to build a great society, especially without humans to thwart their efforts.

“Their ability to solve complex problems, communicate with one another in flashes of color, manipulate objects, and even camouflage themselves with stunning precision suggests that, given the right environmental conditions, they could evolve into a civilization-building species following the extinction of humans,” Coulson said. “Their advanced neural structure, decentralized nervous system, and remarkable problem-solving skills make several species of octopus well suited for an unpredictable world.”

octopus, octopus swimming, end of man, evolution, smart animals, survivors, human extinctionA happy octopus swimming.via Canva/Photos

Coulson believes that octopuses could evolve to create a great civilization beneath the sea that rivals the world created by humans. With some help from evolution, they may also learn to adapt to life on land and take over where people left off. This may sound improbable, but 370 to 390 million years ago, the first sea creatures left the ocean to live on dry land. Further, some animals, such as dolphins and whales, started in the ocean, lived on land, and then returned to the sea after disruptions to their habitats. Could a similar disruption cause the octopus to look for a better life on the beach?

Culum Brown, a professor in the School of Natural Sciences at Macquarie University, is skeptical that octopuses have it in them to make the big leap to the top of the evolutionary heap. “Despite all their tricks, octopuses are still working from a snail blueprint, and there’s only so much you can do with that toolbox. They are also highly constrained by their very short life-span,” Brown wrote in The Conversation.



Sydney Philosophy of Science Professor Peter Godfrey-Smith told Popular Mechanics that octopuses are also hindered by their social dynamics and lack of “intergenerational connections.” Given that they have yet to develop them over millions of years of evolution, Godfrey-Smith is doubtful they’ll occur “anytime soon.”

It’s impossible to know what the future holds, but don’t be shocked if, one day, octopuses develop a superior civilization based on peace, love, and seaweed. “Random mutations, unforeseen extinction events, and population bottlenecks can all significantly influence the trajectory of evolution, making it challenging to determine whether another species will develop human-level intelligence or the inclination to construct cities,” Coulson told The European. “But could octopuses replace humans–and potentially also primates–if they were to die out? Absolutely. They could become the brains of the sea.”

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