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Woman shares 15 things no one tells you about having a miscarriage

pregnancy, miscarriage

There are lots of things we all should know about the reality of miscarriage.

Miscarriage is a tough topic that many are hesitant to talk about. The private nature of losing a pregnancy and the complex feelings that come along with it creates a silence that leaves those experiencing it feeling alone and those not experiencing it ignorant of the reality.

According to the Mayo Clinic, about 10-20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, which means we all know someone who has or will experience it at least once, even if we don't experience it ourselves. To best support those who do, it's important that we all have a better understanding of what a miscarriage can entail, logistically, emotionally and even financially.

Twitter user Kristen R. Moore shared 15 things she learned about miscarriage that she didn't know before going through one herself, and her thread has prompted others to share their experiences as well.


"Today, I paid over $1000 out of pocket for my miscarriage," she wrote. "They didn't tell me it would cost so much to lose a baby. Here are other things they don't tell you about miscarriages."

Then she shared a thread describing 14 other eye-opening realities she went through during and after her miscarriage.

"1. It takes a long time. It's not an event that's suddenly over. It's like a fucking marathon. A sad, dehydrated marathon with nothing on the end but empty.

2. Practitioners who support birth don't necessarily know how to support miscarriage—the joy of birth is so stark when compared to the grief and loss of miscarriage. Some of y'all need training.

3. There is medication to help the miscarriage along. It is used for abortion, too, and your pharmacist may treat you like you're entering an abortion clinic when you want more information about how it works.


4. The most commonly used medication is officially prescribed for ulcers; all use for miscarriage management is "off books." This gives your pharmacist permission (tacit or explicit) to deny you information about vaginal (rather than oral) use.

5. The informational inserts for the medication—Misoprostol—warn you about how it can trigger miscarriage. If you have a decent pharmacist, they'll give you supplemental information that they print off from the internet.

6. When you've been through infertility treatments, a natural pregnancy doesn't always feel like a miracle. Sometimes it feels like a tightrope walk, a risk, a pain waiting to happen.

7. Miscarriage is so, so lonely. Y'all. The emptying of your body like that…bless it. You really DON'T want to talk about it, but you sometimes want to scream about it. Where can we go to scream?

8. You want it to speed up and slow down all at once. Hurry, hurry, hurry up, and then no, don't go--please don't go.

9. Non-birthing parents are ignored in the miscarriage experience: their grief and pain and suffering is real, too.

10. When the miscarriage happens at 13 weeks, the weight stays on; you still have to pull out the pregnancy pants, as a reminder of your previous maternity state.

11. No one talks about it, so you don't know how to talk about. People say the wrong thing, but you're so sad that you don't want to say, 'don't ever say that to a person miscarrying.'

12. Related, do not recommend: 'But you can try again soon, right?' upon hearing the news. Also, do not recommend: 'Everything happens for a reason.' Or 'This is all part of God's plan.'

13. There are humans who feel like little angels, the tech who asks if you want to hear the lack of heartbeat, the friend you can scream with, the partner who'll hold you in your grief. Mostly they feel like blips on a terrible painful road.

14. It's expensive and painful (like birth) and at the end you don't get anything except a bill and a new playlist called, 'Shit to help you get through the baby that never was.'"

It's rare that we get the inside look at miscarriage that Moore's thread offers, and her courageous sharing will undoubtedly help both those who have experienced it to be seen and those who haven't to understand.

Others added to the thread with their own details as well.

Some commenters pointed out how their work provided no paid time off so they either had to work right after their miscarriage or take unpaid time off (and still get flack for it). Reason #3,782 why the lack of universal guaranteed paid leave in the U.S. is ridiculous. (In the meantime, New Zealand offers bereavement leave after a pregnancy loss. Why Americans aren't marching in the streets daily over our healthcare and paid leave situation is a mystery.)

The cruelty of that reality is compounded by the fact that miscarriage is not a one-time event that is then over and done with. For some people, in so many ways, the trauma of it ends up being relived over and over again.

These are things that we all need to understand for ourselves, for our loved ones and for anyone we know who might experience losing a baby through miscarriage.

The full picture is even more complex, of course. Everyone's emotional experience is unique, and how someone feels about a miscarriage depends on many factors, so broad generalizations aren't necessarily helpful. For people with an unwanted pregnancy, a miscarriage might even come as somewhat of a relief. However, that doesn't change the physical or financial realities of going through one.

Whatever the circumstances, having greater knowledge of what a person might be going through when they have a miscarriage can help us offer more compassionate support. Thank you, Kristen Moore, for being open about your experience and getting the ball rolling on this important conversation.

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Scientists tested 3 popular bottled water brands for nanoplastics using new tech, and yikes

The results were alarming—an average of 240,000 nanoplastics per 1 liter bottle—but what does it mean for our health?

Suzy Hazelwood/Canva

Columbia University researchers tested bottled water for nanoplastics and found hundreds of thousands of them.

Evian, Fiji, Voss, SmartWater, Aquafina, Dasani—it's impressive how many brands we have for something humans have been consuming for millennia. Despite years of studies showing that bottled water is no safer to drink than tap water, Americans are more consuming more bottled water than ever, to the tune of billions of dollars in bottled water sales.

People cite convenience and taste in addition to perceived safety for reasons they prefer bottle to tap, but the fear factor surrounding tap water is still a driving force. It doesn't help when emergencies like floods cause tap water contamination or when investigations reveal issues with lead pipes in some communities, but municipal water supplies are tested regularly, and in the vast majority of the U.S., you can safely grab a glass of water from a tap.

And now, a new study on nanoplastics found in three popular bottled water brands is throwing more data into the bottled vs. tap water choice.

Researchers from Columbia University used a new laser-guided technology to detect nanoplastics that had previously evaded detection due to their miniscule size. The new technology can detect, count and analyze and chemical structure of nanoparticles, and they found seven different major types of plastic: polyamide, polypropylene, polyethylene, polymethyl methacrylate, polyvinyl chloride, polystyrene, and polyethylene terephthalate.

In contrast to a 2018 study that found around 300 plastic particles in an average liter of bottled water, the study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in January of 2024 found 240,000 nanoplastic particles per liter bottle on average between the three brands studied. (The name of the brands were not indicated in the study.)

As opposed to microplastics, nanoplastics are too small to be seen by microscope. Their size is exactly why experts are concerned about them, as they are small enough to invade human cells and potentially disrupt cellular processes.

“Micro and nanoplastics have been found in the human placenta at this point. They’ve been found in human lung tissues. They’ve been found in human feces; they’ve been found in human blood,” study coauthor Phoebe Stapleton, associate professor of pharmacology and toxicology at Rutgers University’s Ernest Mario School of Pharmacy told CNN Health,

We know that nanoplastics are making their way into our bodies. We just don't have enough research yet on what that means for our health, and we still have more questions than answers. How many nanoplastics does it take to do damage and/or cause disease? What kinds of damage or disease might they cause? Is whatever effect they might have cumulative? We simply don't have answers to these questions yet.

That's not to say there's no cause for concern. We do know that certain levels of microplastic exposure have been shown to adversely affect the viability of cells. Nanoplastics are even smaller—does that mean they are more likely to cause cellular damage? Science is still working that out.

According to Dr. Sara Benedé of the Spanish National Research Council’s Institute of Food Science Research, it's not just the plastics themselves that might cause damage, but what they may bring along with them. “[Microparticles and nanoparticles] have the ability to bind all kinds of compounds when they come into contact with fluids, thus acting as carriers of all kinds of substances including environmental pollutants, toxins, antibiotics, or microorganisms,” Dr. Benedé told Medical News Today.

Where is this plastic in water coming from? This study focused on bottled water, which is almost always packaged in plastic. The filters used to filter the water before bottling are also frequently made from plastic.

Is it possible that some of these nanoplastics were already present in the water from their original sources? Again, research is always evolving on this front, but microplastics have been detected in lakes, streams and other freshwater sources, so it's not a big stretch to imagine that nanoplastics may be making their way into freshwater ecosystems as well. However, microplastics are found at much higher levels in bottled water than tap water, so it's also not a stretch to assume that most of the nanoplastics are likely coming from the bottling process and packaging rather than from freshwater sources.

The reality is, though, we simply don't know yet.

“Based on other studies we expected most of the microplastics in bottled water would come from leakage of the plastic bottle itself, which is typically made of PET (polyethylene terephthalate) plastic,” lead author Naixin Qian, a doctoral student in chemistry at Columbia University, told CNN Health. “However, we found there’s actually many diverse types of plastics in a bottle of water, and that different plastic types have different size distributions. The PET particles were larger, while others were down to 200 nanometers, which is much, much smaller.”

We need to drink water, and we need to drink safe water. At this point, we have plenty of environmental reasons for avoiding bottled water unless absolutely necessary and opting for tap water instead. Even if there's still more research to be done, the presence of hundreds of thousands of nanoplastics in bottled water might just be another reason to make the switch.

Canva

Not a dry eye in the house

When two people marry, they bring not only each other into their lives, but also any children from previous relationships. It’s been a growing wedding trend for grooms to also give vows to these children, offering them unconditional love, support, protection and ultimately pledging to be a parental figure in their lives.

Recently a groom named Eldridge Buchanan gave some special vows to his new seven-year-old-son Kayden during his wedding to Asia Green Buchanan.

The touching moment, captured and shared to Instagram by the wedding’s photographer and videographer Daka David and A Love Experience, shows Buchanan stands in front of little Kayden, as tears begin flowing.
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Gen X has hit 'that stage' of life and is not handling it very well

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Gen X is eating dinner earlier and earlier. It's happening.

The thing about Gen X being in our 40s and 50s now is that we were never supposed to get "old." Like, we're the cool, aloof grunge generation of young tech geniuses. Most of the giants that everyone uses every day—Google, Amazon, YouTube—came from Gen X. Our generation is both "Friends" and "The Office." We are, like, relevant, dammit.

And also, our backs hurt, we need reading glasses, our kids are in college and how in the name of Jennifer Aniston's skincare regimen did we get here?

It's weird to reach the stage when there's no doubt that you aren't young anymore. Not that Gen X is old—50 is the new 30, you know—but we're definitely not young. And it seems like every day there's something new that comes along to shove that fact right in our faces. When did hair start growing out of that spot? Why do I suddenly hate driving at night? Why is this restaurant so loud? Does that skin on my arm look…crepey?

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Cats essentially use everything from their whiskers to their tails to balance, so how would one walk without two of it's four legs? The answer is, carefully at first. Duck is a kitten that had to have both of her front legs completely amputated after she was rescued and while she was wobbly at first, she quickly adapted.

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Overwhelmed new mother hears the perfect parenting advice from her mom on doorbell cam

Monica Murphy was just one month into welcoming her third child into the world.

@monica_murphy/Instagram

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“How on earth can one person do it all?”

This is a question so many mothers ask themselves. Especially after giving birth, when life seems to expect them to take care of their newborn, get their body back, return to work and keep a clean house all at the same time.

It’s a question that had completely overwhelmed Monica Murphy, only one month into welcoming her third child, while still recovering from a C-section and taking care of her other children, who were also nursing, according to Today.com.

Luckily for Murphy, her mom had the perfect piece of advice to ease her troubled mind. And luckily for us, it was all caught on the family’s doorbell cam.
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