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Why these 77 alternatives to Black Friday are way cooler than that new gadget.

So you’re thinking of getting up at 3 a.m. on Black Friday?

Image via iStock.

With five barely digested portions of your Thanksgiving dinner in your belly, you're contemplating getting up at 3:00 in the morning. You may not be one of the over 25 million people working retail, and yet, you just know you'll find yourself trudging through the darkness en route to your local shopping center on Friday. It'll probably be cold. You might have that frost/mini-snowflake pattern thing crusting up on your windshield and the defrost won't kick in as fast as you'd like. I get it. You want to get that newest shiny toy for a moderate discount — for you or your family. Totally understandable.


But maybe you don't. Maybe you're going because everyone else is going. Maybe you're going because it's tradition. Maybe you're going just to see if there's anything you want to buy yourself. Maybe you'd rather do anything but shop on the biggest shopping day of the year.

So before you set that pre-dawn alarm on Friday, might I suggest...

77 other things you could do with your time on Black Friday:

1. Call* those who couldn’t be with you and yours on Thanksgiving.

You’ll be surprised how just a simple conversation can mean more than a million thanks.

*yes, call, don’t text

2. Donate to a charity that will help those less fortunate.

(And don’t post about it on social media ... you’ll thank yourself later.)

3. Move that football game with your buddies to Friday instead of Thursday during the day.

You’ll be rested and less likely to break your wrist trying to imitate Odell Beckham Jr. while wearing dungarees.

4. Have you ever tried sleeping in?

I do it once a month and it is the best thing ever.

5. Go to a park.

It will likely be the emptiest it’s ever been (though, if this idea takes off, sorry in advance if you walk into Woodstock).

6. This list is very important:

A book, a blanket, a cuppa, and a window. Trust me.

Image via iStock.

7. Volunteer at a soup kitchen.

Balance out the abundance of Thanksgiving dinner with providing sustenance for those in need.

8. Write letters.*

To relatives, old friends, Amnesty International, or your favorite teacher or mentor.

*actual letters, not FB messages or anything involving an IP address

9. Listen to the Beatles.

Because there's nothing you can do that can't be done.

10. Make a December 1 resolution.

Get a month ahead of the curve and start those crazy things you’re thinking of doing for two weeks in January.

11. Eat all the leftovers.

Think about how much more of them you can eat if you don’t have to wake up at 3 a.m. to wait in line to buy an off-brand Blu-ray player for $17.

12. Watch all the movies.

There are some amazing movies with and without Benedict Cumberbatch in them out there. You should go see them.

13. Follow up on those things you said you were thankful for the day before.

Sometimes we go though the motion and thank everything we can think of before dinner on Thanksgiving because we’re just sitting there waiting to regret the third serving of canned cranberry. Go through that list and see how you can show your thanks.

14. Research the 2018 midterm elections.

Sorry, did I put you to sleep there? If you want change, now is the time to get involved and see how the races are shaping up. Presidential elections have turned into reality shows ... oh, how they did ... but hardly anyone votes in the midterms because they’re so borrrrring. Look up what happened to Obama’s power in 2010 and if that nightmare isn’t enough to shake up some activism in you, then just wait till Jan. 20.

15. Rewatch every episode of "Westworld" five times.

Because WHAT DOOR?

Image from "Westworld"/HBO.

16. That closet/shed/storage space/shelf/cabinet that has all the stuff in it?

Clean it out, organize it from (a) "Things that you definitely don’t need to keep" to (b) "That wrinkly pea coat that you’ll definitely need in a few weeks."

17. Winter-proof your home!

With 30 years of New England winters under my belt, I feel your cold pain, my northern friends. This is less important for me, living in Los Angeles now, but for those of you in cooler climates, Black Friday is the perfect time to see what energy-saving steps you can take to save money and stay warmer through the winter.

18. Netflix and chill your leftover turkey.

Or reheat it. But make sure you have enough because Netflix will suck you in for days. (Yes, Netflix, I am still watching "Sense8." STOP ASKING ME.)

19. Does "aunt" rhyme with "haunt" or "ant"?

You talk to her roughly three times a year, maybe now's the time to dig down deep and finally answer the question of how it’s pronounced.

20. Plan or dream of a vacation outside your comfort zone.

I hear Argentina is lovely around the last third of January, or perhaps a nice jaunt to Manitoba in the spring. Hop online and do some research on places you’ve never dreamed of going. Hot tip? Mexico City is super affordable, close, and nothing short of stunning.

21. Who is your representative in Congress? Do you know?

Aha! Gotcha! Really, though — imagine there was no Google: How would you get in touch with the most important government employee responsible for representing you? Mine is Adam B. Schiff, and not only is he awesome, but I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing him. His advice on how to have your voice heard? Call your representative. It’s that simple.

Image via iStock.

22. Have a friendly game night.

We all know every game of Monopoly ends up in a huge fight, so plan accordingly, and make sure to bankrupt the uncle who voted for Donald Trump as fast as possible.

23. Check out the latest books at Kirkus Reviews.

I know that this might lead to some kind of shopping. But they just released their "Best Of" lists for the year, and personally, I’m 100% excited to get "Super Extra Grande" before then and just take a minute and #6.

24. Craft day with the kids!

Instead of rushing into a department store and wading around like a sardine trapped in oil all day, grab the kids and grab some crafting materials and just create some hideous — I mean, beautiful — artwork for the fridge.

25. No kids? Craft day with yourself!

No kids here either. (It’s OK. Really. Where is this obsession with everyone having kids? Not everyone wants kids, OK? Some of us just want to do our solo craft projects in peace.)

So let’s make some awesome stuff.

Like…

26. Learn origami.

I’m sure there’s at least one video online that can show you how to make cranes and ... wait, what else is there besides cranes? See? All the more reason to find out.

Image via iStock.

27. Organize all your music.

Maybe you only have "Hamilton" and "Hamilton Mixtape" on repeat — all. the. time. But sometimes when you go searching for your favorite Barenaked Ladies jam, you don’t know if it’s on your phone, iPad, CD, laptop, etc. Take today and get the ball rolling on syncing up all your glorious tunes so that next time you wonder what he says after “Watching X-files with no lights on,” you can cue it up on any device you have handy.

28. Find out how to say “in the house” in French.

29. Rewatch the entire "Back to the Future" trilogy

Yes, Nike released self-tying shoes, the Cubs won, and Biff got elected, but there’s also a happy ending in there ... somewhere.

30. Days and nights at the museums.

How about getting yourself the gift of knowledge, culture, history, art, and more?

Lots of museums have Black Friday events, and while they’ll probably be crowded, they'll likely have less of a "running of the bulls" vibe as your local mall.

31. Don’t cook a single thing.

Get creative with those leftovers. Have you ever had a cranberry/stuffing/sweet potato sandwich on two slices of thick cut turkey? You’re welcome.

But instead of bread, use turkey. Trust me. Image via iStock.

32. Or bake everything.

Main course is all set (see above), but how about the heavenly smell of fresh baked bread, pecan pie, or cinnamon rolls piping through your house as you bask in your decision to not leave the house at 4:00 in the morning to fight over a toy that will be ignored two days after Christmas.

33. Update your Bucket List.

Highlights on mine include: learning to knit, going skydiving, and seeing "Hamilton." What about you?

34. Decide on the best trilogy ever and watch it. All of it. Extended editions too.

"Star Wars"? Indy? "Back to the Future"? "Qatsi"? "Before Midnight"? "Toy Story"? "Lord of the Rings"? "Matrix"? "Twilight" (kidding)?

35. Support local businesses.

Obviously you're avoiding the malls and stores with massive plastic signs, but if you head down to your local “main street” and pop into some of the local family-owned shops, chances are they’ll appreciate your patronage and you’ll be helping your community in more ways than one.

Image via iStock.

36. Bubble. Bath.

When was the last time you just dipped into soapy, bubbly hot goodness and just relaxed?

37. Unplug for a bit.

Try it for a few hours. It’ll be hard and the phantom vibrations will drive you nuts for a the first 20-30 minutes, but then ... oh, then ... you’ll feel 100% more relaxed.

38. Avoid using #blessed.

True enlightenment doesn’t require a data plan.

39. See if you can help out your parents with anything.

I wish I could still do this, so if anything, for me, give them a call, head over, and see if they need help with anything around the house. You know, if you can.  

40. Have a "Monty Python" marathon.

Because with today’s current events, it's so good to "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life."

41. Immerse yourself in "The Crown. "

Wait. You haven’t seen "The Crown"? OK. Well that’s literally your entire Black Friday right there.

Image from "The Crown"/Netflix.

42. Make sure your younger siblings still know who’s in charge.

Noogies were a great method back in the day, but simply making them do the dishes does wonders to reassert your oldest sibling status. It’s the little things.

43. Debate the merits of and rank local cuisine from around the country.

Please share this list with me (hello, I am @LACarlos on Twitter). Currently I have Chicago deep dish pizza above a Philly cheesesteak but that “wiz wit” is making a run for it.

44. Define "materialism."

Let me Google that for you.

45. Have you heard of this website called Upworthy?

If there’s one internet hole you can fall all the way down in, I suggest reading some of the stories you can find on this very website. They’re pretty damn thoughtful and all the smiles and empathy are 100% free.

46. Rank the greatest sports teams of all time.

What metric will you use? Titles? Global reach? David Ortiz? So far, I have the Yankees in second to last place, but of course, any team that appropriates native culture is at the bottom of the list as well.

47. Rewatch "The Godfather" duology.

Because there are only TWO Godfather movies that matter. (Thanks, Sophia.)

48. Follow people you admire online.

Because it would be super sketchy if you did it IRL. Stop trying to make stalking cute, Hollywood. It's not.

49. Order a pizza from a local joint.

If you can, order pizza from a mom-and-pop shop that is probably using the same recipe they’ve had in the family for 100 years instead of from a massive corporation. Eat all the history.

Image via iStock.

50. Use the internet for good.

I joke about certain hashtags, but there are so many out there that are socially conscious and helping to bring about change. Take a look: #YesAllWomen, #BlackLivesMatter, #UmbrellaRevolution, and #WhyIStayed #WhyILeft are some that have made an impact.

51. Make plans to march to the best mall ever on Jan. 21.

You know, with 1 million other women who are also marching. With signs. Justice and liberty for all has no price, after all.

52. Watch a movie and also learn about climate change.

"Before the Flood," a movie produced by Leonardo DiCaprio, Martin Scorsese, and others, is a moving documentary that helps us understand even further the steps we need to take regarding climate change.

53. Write something.

You don’t have to finish it on Friday, but have you ever had an idea for a short story? A book? A poem? An article? It usually takes some guy named Lin-Manuel six-seven years to write something, so don’t feel rushed. Sit back and jot down some ideas and see where your imagination takes you.

54. Make a baby...

You know, if you want to and are totally ready to. Otherwise, make sure you're fully protected.

55. ...or adopt a pet.

Because they are adorable, loyal, always happy, and did I mention adorable? Go to an adoption center and just try to not walk out with a new best friend.  

Image via iStock.

56. Make mulled wine.

It’s so good. (You can totally do this on Thursday as well.) But the smell and the warmth is 100% what Thanksgiving weekend should feel like.

57. Make some handmade gifts.

For example, lazy and delicious handmade vanilla extract. You’ll save money and be the coolest.

58. Get involved in your local government.

You’d be surprised how much thought goes into, “Should we put a stop sign there?” I have friends who felt the same way and a year later they've become elected neighborhood council members; they get to help make the decisions with their constituency. Research it online and make a game plan.

59. Take a hike.

No, really. Grab the friends, family, dog, boots, and bundle up and go for a hike. Who knows how much longer we’ll have these 58 glorious national parks? Might as well enjoy them now.

Image via iStock.

60. Figure out how to play this game well.

When you're done with the Monopoly debacle, try wrapping your head around Go, which is considered the hardest game in the world.  It “possesses more possibilities than the total number of atoms in the visible universe.”

61. Have a video game marathon.

Blow into those cartridges, fire up the ol' Sega Genesis, and demolish all the Sonic levels. (I am definitely not a child of the '80s.)

62. It's Black Friday, so stick to a theme: watch "Black Sails," "Black Mirror," and "Orphan Black."

Jury is still out on "Code Black" though.  

63. Write some cards.

Don’t print them out. Don’t use a template. Go old school here. Jot down some thank-you notes, some well wishes, or even some holiday cheer. Oh, and you have to make sure you send them. So buy stamps.

64. Watch the best coach in sports lose to my home team.

The National Basketball Association seems to be the league having the right kinds of conversations. Gregg Popovich is what all coaches should be. The Boston Celtics are rebuilding. It’s an early game so enjoy it and maybe we’ll have a miracle. There are also plenty of other entertaining games from one of the best sports league in America.

65. Clear the air with your family after awkward election conversations.

So you had some awkward conversations about politics with your relatives. First, take a breather and regroup. But then, if you're up for it, the day after is a good time to revisit why they feel a certain way and what can be done to unite as a whole, starting with your family. If they’re OK with having some respectful dialogue, give it a whirl. If not, remember you probably only need to see them a few times a year.

66. OK, so if you must shop:

See if you can find some gifts that give back, that are socially conscious, that do more than just pick up dust in your random stuff closet.

Image via iStock.

67. Turn your leftovers into a Frankenstein meal.

Have you ever had a turkey/stuffing/cranberry pie made from scratch? Have you ever made potato pancakes on the griddle using just mashed potatoes from the vat from last night? You’re welcome.

68. Marathon some Broadway show tunes and try to sing along.

I’m 100% serious here.

69. Branch out from Broadway. Try local theater.

When’s the last time you went to your local theater? Escapism a wonderful thing, so look up what’s happening in your regional theaters. I bet there are no fewer than 50 "Godspell," "Oklahoma!," "Fiddler on the Roof," and "Hello, Dolly!" productions happening right now. Even better? You’ll be supporting local artists and community organizations.

70. Laugh.

There are countless improv troupes, stand-up comedians, and other people who tell jokes in exchange for money out there. Find a local comedy club or comedy show, grab a table, and get ready to laugh uncontrollably.

71. Throw a cuddle party.

Significant other? Puppy? Teddy bear? Comforter? Oversized pillow? Find the position where everything is just perfect, put your phone on mute, and spend a couple hours just dozing with your favorite cuddle buddy.

72. Go all-in on some sweet, sweet nap time.

See 71 above. More of a solo cuddle party kind of person? That’s totally fine because this way no one can judge you for your deafening snoring. The struggle is real.

73. Watch movies about the dystopian future.

Just in case you might actually need those survival skills soon.

74. Donate your old clothes.

Clean out your closet. Get rid of the clothes you don't wear anymore or don't want and find them a better home. Goodwill takes a variety of donations, but did you know there are organizations that specifically accept donated business clothes? Don’t want that old suit? Donate it! It can actually help someone get a job.

75. Paint things every color.

Finger? Watercolor? Spin art? Bob Ross? Your old room? Plan new colors for the new year.

76. Do something you think is childish.

Eat something with your hands. Go play in a pile of leaves. Eat mac and cheese with hot dogs. Draw on the walls. Spin around until you fall over. Watch a Disney movie.

You’ll smile.

77.  Appreciate ... something.

You don’t actually have to do anything today. You could just sit back and appreciate that you have all these options, and more importantly, that you are, hopefully, lucky enough to share them with family, friends, and more.

Image via iStock.

Black Friday doesn't have to be a soul-sucking, manic corporate nightmare if you don't want it to be.

If you love shopping on Black Friday? Sure, go for it. If you need to shop on Black Friday? Do it.  

But you don't have to shop just because everyone else is.

Shopping on Black Friday not only means being away from your family, it also means thousands of workers across the country will be away from theirs, likely working long hours and extended shifts. So if you can, just say "no" to Black Friday shopping, and pick one or two or three of the items on this list to spend your day enjoying instead.

Island School Class, circa 1970s.

Parents, do you think your child would be able to survive if they were transported back to the '70s or '80s? Could they live at a time before the digital revolution put a huge chunk of our lives online?

These days, everyone has a phone in their pocket, but before then, if you were in public and needed to call someone, you used a pay phone. Can you remember the last time you stuck 50 cents into one and grabbed the grubby handset?

According to the U.S. Federal Communications Commission, roughly 100,000 pay phones remain in the U.S., down from 2 million in 1999.

Do you think a 10-year-old kid would have any idea how to use a payphone in 2022? Would they be able to use a Thomas Guide map to find out how to get somewhere? If they stepped into a time warp and wound up in 1975, could they throw a Led Zeppelin album on the record player at a party?


Another big difference between now and life in the '70s and '80s has been public attitudes toward smoking cigarettes. In 1965, 42.4% of Americans smoked and now, it’s just 12.5%. This sea change in public opinion about smoking means there are fewer places where smoking is deemed acceptable.

But in the early '80s, you could smoke on a bus, on a plane, in a movie theater, in restaurants, in the classroom and even in hospitals. How would a child of today react if their third grade teacher lit up a heater in the middle of math class?

Dan Wuori, senior director of early learning at the Hunt Institute, tweeted that his high school had a smoking area “for the kids.” He then asked his followers to share “something you experienced as a kid that would blow your children’s minds.”


A lot of folks responded with stories of how ubiquitous smoking was when they were in school. While others explained that life was perilous for a kid, whether it was the school playground equipment or questionable car seats.

Here are a few responses that’ll show today’s kids just how crazy life used to be in the '70s and '80s.

First of all, let’s talk about smoking.

Want to call someone? Need to get picked up from baseball practice? You can’t text mom or dad, you’ll have to grab a quarter and use a pay phone.

People had little regard for their kids’ safety or health.

You could buy a soda in school.

Things were a lot different before the internet.

Remember pen pals?

A lot of people bemoan the fact that the children of today aren’t as tough as they were a few decades back. But that’s probably because the parents of today are better attuned to their kids’ needs so they don't have to cheat death to make it through the day.

But just imagine how easy parenting would be if all you had to do was throw your kids a bag of Doritos and a Coke for lunch and you never worried about strapping them into a car seat?


This article originally appeared on 06.08.22

Michael B. Jordan speaking at the 2017 San Diego Comic Con International, for "Black Panther", at the San Diego Convention Center in San Diego, California.

As long as humans have endeavored to do anything great, there have been those who have tried to take them down. These are the opposite of the creators in life: the bullies, haters and naysayers who only want to bring people down to their level.

But when you have a dream and desire, its easy to tune out the voices of negativity. "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better,” Theodore Roosevelt once said. “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena."

Some folks use the naysayers as fuel to push them to work even harder. Basketball legend Michael Jordan was infamous for letting his thirst for revenge drive him to even greater heights on the court.


Another Michael Jordan, "Black Panther" star, Michael B. Jordan, came face to face with someone who doubted that he could reach his dreams, and he wasn’t shy about letting her know that he remembered. What's Upworthy about the encounter is that he did so with class and confidence.

In 2023, Jordan was on the red carpet for the premiere of "Creed III," a film he starred in and directed. He was interviewed by “The Morning Hustle” radio show host Lore’l, who had recently admitted on the “Undressing Room” podcast that she used to make fun of him in school.

“You know what’s so crazy? I went to school with Michael B. Jordan at a point in life,” Lore’l said. “And to be honest with you, we teased him all the damn time because his name was Michael Jordan. Let’s start there, and he was no Michael Jordan.”

“He also would come to school with a headshot,” she added. “We lived in Newark. That’s the hood. We would make fun of him like, ‘What you gonna do with your stupid headshot?’ And now look at him!”

In addition, her co-host, Eva Marcille, referred to Jordan as “corny.”

Jordan had no problem discussing their past on the red carpet. “We go way back, all the way back to Chad Science [Academy] in Newark,” Lore’l told the actor. Oh yeah, I was the corny kid, right?” Jordan responded with a smirk.

“No, you did not hear me say that! I said we used to make fun of the name,” Lore’l said.

“I heard it,” Jordan said. “I heard it. It’s all good. What’s up?” he responded. “But yeah, [you are] obviously killing things out here…you’re not corny anymore,” Lore’l clarified.

After the exchange went viral, Lore’l admitted that she teased Jordan in school, but they were only classmates for one year.

“So the narrative that I bullied him all throughout high school—this was 7th grade. We were like 12 years old, and everyone made fun of each other,” Lore’l said. “That was school, you know. That was one year. And, again, I’ve never bullied him. That just sounds so outrageous to me.”

Jordan later shared some advice on how to deal with bullies.

"Just stay focused, just stay locked in,” he told a reporter from Complex. “You know, just follow your heart, try to block out the noise and distractions as much as possible and run your race. Don't compare yourself to anybody else. Just keep going."

Science

A juice company dumped orange peels in a national park. Here's what it looks like now.

12,000 tons of food waste and 21 years later, this forest looks totally different.


In 1997, ecologists Daniel Janzen and Winnie Hallwachs approached an orange juice company in Costa Rica with an off-the-wall idea.

In exchange for donating a portion of unspoiled, forested land to the Área de Conservación Guanacaste — a nature preserve in the country's northwest — the park would allow the company to dump its discarded orange peels and pulp, free of charge, in a heavily grazed, largely deforested area nearby.

One year later, one thousand trucks poured into the national park, offloading over 12,000 metric tons of sticky, mealy, orange compost onto the worn-out plot.



The site was left untouched and largely unexamined for over a decade. A sign was placed to ensure future researchers could locate and study it.

16 years later, Janzen dispatched graduate student Timothy Treuer to look for the site where the food waste was dumped.

Treuer initially set out to locate the large placard that marked the plot — and failed.

The first deposit of orange peels in 1996.

Photo by Dan Janzen.

"It's a huge sign, bright yellow lettering. We should have been able to see it," Treuer says. After wandering around for half an hour with no luck, he consulted Janzen, who gave him more detailed instructions on how to find the plot.

When he returned a week later and confirmed he was in the right place, Treuer was floored. Compared to the adjacent barren former pastureland, the site of the food waste deposit was "like night and day."

The site of the orange peel deposit (L) and adjacent pastureland (R).

Photo by Leland Werden.

"It was just hard to believe that the only difference between the two areas was a bunch of orange peels. They look like completely different ecosystems," he explains.

The area was so thick with vegetation he still could not find the sign.

Treuer and a team of researchers from Princeton University studied the site over the course of the following three years.

The results, published in the journal "Restoration Ecology," highlight just how completely the discarded fruit parts assisted the area's turnaround.

The ecologists measured various qualities of the site against an area of former pastureland immediately across the access road used to dump the orange peels two decades prior. Compared to the adjacent plot, which was dominated by a single species of tree, the site of the orange peel deposit featured two dozen species of vegetation, most thriving.

Lab technician Erik Schilling explores the newly overgrown orange peel plot.

Photo by Tim Treuer.

In addition to greater biodiversity, richer soil, and a better-developed canopy, researchers discovered a tayra (a dog-sized weasel) and a giant fig tree three feet in diameter, on the plot.

"You could have had 20 people climbing in that tree at once and it would have supported the weight no problem," says Jon Choi, co-author of the paper, who conducted much of the soil analysis. "That thing was massive."

Recent evidence suggests that secondary tropical forests — those that grow after the original inhabitants are torn down — are essential to helping slow climate change.

In a 2016 study published in Nature, researchers found that such forests absorb and store atmospheric carbon at roughly 11 times the rate of old-growth forests.

Treuer believes better management of discarded produce — like orange peels — could be key to helping these forests regrow.

In many parts of the world, rates of deforestation are increasing dramatically, sapping local soil of much-needed nutrients and, with them, the ability of ecosystems to restore themselves.

Meanwhile, much of the world is awash in nutrient-rich food waste. In the United States, up to half of all produce in the United States is discarded. Most currently ends up in landfills.

The site after a deposit of orange peels in 1998.

Photo by Dan Janzen.

"We don't want companies to go out there will-nilly just dumping their waste all over the place, but if it's scientifically driven and restorationists are involved in addition to companies, this is something I think has really high potential," Treuer says.

The next step, he believes, is to examine whether other ecosystems — dry forests, cloud forests, tropical savannas — react the same way to similar deposits.

Two years after his initial survey, Treuer returned to once again try to locate the sign marking the site.

Since his first scouting mission in 2013, Treuer had visited the plot more than 15 times. Choi had visited more than 50. Neither had spotted the original sign.

In 2015, when Treuer, with the help of the paper's senior author, David Wilcove, and Princeton Professor Rob Pringle, finally found it under a thicket of vines, the scope of the area's transformation became truly clear.

The sign after clearing away the vines.

Photo by Tim Treuer.

"It's a big honking sign," Choi emphasizes.

19 years of waiting with crossed fingers had buried it, thanks to two scientists, a flash of inspiration, and the rind of an unassuming fruit.


This article originally appeared on 08.23.17

Parenting

Mom creates a stir after refusing to drop her child off at a parent free birthday party

"I loved drop off parties. I didn't want to sit at some kids party."

Photos by Ivan Samkov and Gustavo Fring|Canva

Mom refuses to let kid go to "drop-off" birthday party

There are many Millennial moms that were raised on "Unsolved Mysteries" and "America's Most Wanted" during formative years, which may or may not have influenced the way they parent. It can be hard to think clearly when Robert Stack's voice is echoing in your head every time your child is out of eyesight. The jokes about what is responsible for the average Millennial's parenting style resembling more like a helicopter are endless. But sometimes additional caution is warranted where others may find it unnecessary.

At least that's what many folks on the internet believe after one mom seemingly split parents into two camps with her revelation about children's parties. Liv, who goes by the TikTok handle Liv SAHM, takes to social media to explain that her seven-year-old son was invited to a birthday party but when she went to RSVP, she noticed the invitation said, "drop off only."

The mom explains, "It's at someone's house. I don't know these parents. I don't know that there's actually going to be other adults besides this child's parents."


Liv states that she would not be dropping her young child off alone with strangers. To many parents this seems like a reasonable response. If you don't know the parents or any other adults then how can you ensure your child will be safe. Other parents felt like Liv was completely overreacting with a helicopter parenting style.

"Little kids have been going to peoples birthday parties without clingy parents for decades," one person declares.

"I'm a drop off kinda house. I want the parents to leave that is one less person I have to feed. I don't wanna have to make small talk with other parents," another says.

"That's a big no for me too! And I always try to take my kids to classmates parties because people never show up," someone writes.

"That's so worrisome. I completely agree with you mama bear, same with my son," a commenter says.

"Yeah, that would make me uncomfortable too! It's always a little interesting to me when parents drop off their kids at parties," someone else adds.

@livsahm

No thank you! I don’t feel comfortable with that. #mom #momsoftiktok #momlife #sahm #sahmlife #birthday #birthdayparty #celebration #controversial #parenting #parentingtips #parents #no

There's no right or wrong way to throw a party for a kid because there's no rulebook. Generally parents are accustomed to seeing invitations that say no siblings or the offer of parents staying or leaving. Many commenters pointed out that it seemed odd that the invitation was worded in a way that sounded like parents staying wasn't an option.

Some parents noted that the world has changed since they were children and wouldn't feel safe dropping their kids off either. Others found no issue with it and think fellow parents are overreacting. What do you say, odd or perfectly fine?

Family

Dad shares what happens when you give your child books instead of a smartphone

The key to fostering healthy habits in children is to be wholly present and reject the “pressures of convenience”

via Armando Hart (used with permission)

Armando Hart and his son, Raya.

One of the most pressing dilemmas for parents these days is how much screen time they should allow their children. Research published by the Mayo Clinic shows that excessive screen time can lead to obesity, disrupted sleep, behavioral issues, poor academic performance, exposure to violence and a significant reduction in playtime.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting screen time to 1 to 2 hours daily for children over 2. But American children spend far more time in front of screens than that and the situation is only worsening.

Before the pandemic, kids between the ages of 4 and 12 spent an average of 4.4 hours a day looking at screens, but since 2020, the average child’s daily screen time has increased by 1.75 hours.


A father in Long Beach, California, is getting some love for his TikTok video sharing what happens when you give your kid books instead of an iPhone. Armando Hart posted a video showing his 10-year-old son, Raya, reading a book in the back of a car and it’s been seen over 8 million times.

"Give them books instead of phones when they are little and this is the result," the caption reads. "Thank me later."

We’re so blessed with our son Raya. I think he’s read more books than I have.

@lifeinmotion08

We’re so blessed with our son Raya. I think he’s read more books than I have. #Books #Read #Fyp

Hart and his wife started reading to their son every night before bedtime, hoping to instill a love for books. "It was all about leading by example and creating a nurturing environment where reading was celebrated," Hart told Newsweek. These days, Raya is an avid reader who enjoys just about anything.

“My son likes novels, fiction, nonfiction, and realistic fiction,” Hart told Upworthy. “He also likes informative content, such as reading the almanac and other informative magazines. He loves to build, cook from recipes, and make art.”

For Hart, reading is all about creating a sense of balance in his son’s life.

“It's not about being against technology but about fostering a balanced approach that prioritizes meaningful experiences and hands-on learning,” he told Upworthy. “By instilling a love for reading, creativity, and exploration early on, we're equipping Raya with the skills and mindset he needs to thrive in an ever-changing world.”

Hart believes that the screen time discussion isn’t just about technology but a trend that goes deeper. “It speaks to a broader societal problem: our youth's lack of self-esteem, confidence and fundamental values. While screen time may exacerbate these issues, it is not the sole cause,” he told Upworthy.

“In contrast, physical activity, such as exercise, promotes joy and well-being. Spending hours scrolling on a phone can detract from genuine moments of happiness and fulfillment,” he continued. “Therefore, we must address the deeper underlying issues affecting our youth's mental and emotional health rather than solely attributing them to screen time.”

Hart believes the key to fostering healthy habits in children is to be wholly present and reject the “pressures of convenience” that encourage parental complacency.

“We prioritize quality time together, whether exploring nature, sharing meals with the best available foods, or engaging in meaningful conversations. In today's rapidly advancing technological world, staying grounded in our humanity and embodying integrity in everything we do is crucial,” he continued. “This means staying connected to our authentic selves and teaching our son the importance of honesty, kindness, and respect.”