This week was a banner week for women standing up and, as the saying goes, "speaking truth to power."
On Sunday, Sen. Elizabeth Warren gave a passionate speech on racial equality at the Edward M. Kennedy Institute. Her remarks offered a bold defense of the Black Lives Matter movement and went further than any high-profile, mainstream politician's have before to support the modern-day civil rights activists who are, in her words, "fighting for their lives."
Photo of Cecile Richards by Mark Wilson/Getty Images. Sen. Warren by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.
On Tuesday, Planned Parenthood Federation for America President Cecile Richards testified before a House Oversight and Government Reform Committee hearing on Capitol Hill. The five-hour-long session was Richards' chance to defend the vital women's health organization that some in Congress are seeking to defund. It was long and hard but a tour de force performance in grace under fire. And Richards never wavered.
Together, they gave a master class in how to tell the inconvenient truth. Here are three lessons they taught us:
1. Have confidence when the facts are on your side — and share them.
When you're standing up with a strong argument, it helps to know the facts and, as tedious as it may feel, educate your audience on them. Does it mean you'll ultimately convince them? Maybe not. But it helps to start with the basics.
Sen. Warren's speech was basically CliffsNotes for the history of the American civil rights struggle and structural racism in the areas of economic policy, policing, and voting. It gave her impassioned support the grounding it needed with a side dish of "I probably know more about this than you do, so let me school you a bit."
Richards was no different. She patiently responded to every unfounded claim and attack with facts about women's health generally, reproductive rights specifically, and Planned Parenthood repeatedly. Richards wasn't just there because of what she felt or believed. She was there because of what she knows to be true.
2. Sometimes, it will feel like you're standing alone.
Cecile Richards' testimony was difficult to watch. Time and time again she was interrupted, accused of lying, and aggressively questioned as the panel of mostly male Congress members interrogated her about the value and worth of her work — and ultimately, as a woman, her health and rights. Even Rep. Gerry Connolly, a Democrat from Virginia, called out the rampant "disrespect and misogyny."
Richards sat, head held high, one woman against the world, fighting for humanity ... OK. Got a bit carried away there. But it was a pretty serious setup. And it couldn't have been easy being the lone target of all of that ire and anti-woman sentiment.
Sen. Warren's environment, on the other hand, wasn't as physically isolating. But she too was standing alone in a field of mainstream politicians who have, until now, given timid, tepid, and downright contrarian responses to black Americans' simple call for human rights and justice. For her to stand up and speak without a lot of public allies took a boldness and authenticity that is not popular among her peers.
3. People will have your back.
When you're standing alone and telling the truth on behalf of people who otherwise aren't being heard, it's highly likely that those people will make sure you actually aren't alone.
Cecile Richards may have been one woman sitting in that room. But online and off, thousands were standing with her. Literally. #IStandwithPP and the first ever National Pink Out Day engaged men and women of all ages, races, and backgrounds to publicly stand behind the core truth of her testimony: Planned Parenthood is necessary and good. They were her chorus as she spoke for them.
And the response after Warren's speech was no different. Black Lives Matter activists and anyone who has been working hard to end discrimination and inequality praised her for her boldness, her depth, and her willingness to say what they already know to be true: that America still has a long way to go in ensuring true equality. And in the meantime...
We live in a world that has made it pretty darn hard for those in power to say what needs to be said.
But even for the the rest of us, telling the truth isn't always easy, especially in the face of those who challenge or threaten what you believe in. These brave women not only showed us how it's done, but they empower us to do it ourselves with authenticity, dignity, and grace.
12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.