Time waits for no one. How can you plan for the life you want to live?
5 small steps to help you plan for life's surprises.
Here's the thing about time: We perceive it relative to our age.
The Washington Post dives into a theory originally put forth by Paul Janet in 1897: We perceive the first years of our lives to be much longer than the years that come later because our point of reference for time is smaller when we're younger.
When you've only lived four years, one year is a big chunk of time — it's 1/4 of your life!
Image by Michael Pardo/Flickr.
But when you're 70, a year passes in the blink of an eye. So even though we all get the same 24 hours in every day, it goes by faster and faster as we get older.
That begs the question: What are we doing right now to set ourselves up for a life lived to its fullest as it increasingly seems filled up?
What do you want to look back on when you're 75? What decisions will make you proud? What's the life you want to have lived?
Image by David Hodgson/Flickr.
We can do our best to "plan" our lives, but often, even the best laid plans fall apart or evolve into something you couldn't even have imagined.
Still, there are basics we know we can't escape: Food, water, and shelter are things that we all have to plan and prepare for, regardless of where life's road takes us.
So, what can you do today to prepare for a life that you can only loosely predict? Here are five ways to think about it.
1. Money? Travel? Family? Figure out what success means to you.
What do you consider to be successful? It may be one thing or it may be a combination of things. Either way, defining what success means to you can help you identify what you'll need to achieve in order to believe you lived a "good" life.
Image by 401(K) 2012/Flickr.
2. Beyond "success," have a vision.
Once you know what makes you happy, build on that. Formulate an idea of where you'd like to be in 30 years so that you have a direction to start moving in. Money blogger, Finance Girl, puts it this way:
"Your vision should embody your values and your view of the future without being too generic. Your vision can also change over time. The point is to have one so you know why you're doing what you do, and you're happier doing it."
Having a vision doesn't mean things will work out exactly as you'd planned, but it empowers you to act with intention. To move forward each day, working toward this larger ideal.
3. Take responsibility for your choices. All of them.
Sure, there are a million factors beyond your control that affect your life every single day, but remember that you do play a part in what happens. Ayse Birsel, author of "Design the Life you Love: A Step-by-Step guide to Building a Meaningful Future," says "your choices will determine the kind of life you are designing." As such, they should map back to your vision. You have to own them.
4. Remain flexible. We can only control so much.
As you work toward your goal, be open to change. Don't hold onto things too tightly or life's turbulence will rock you.
Paul B. Brown, co-author of "Just Start: Take Action; Embrace Uncertainty and Create the Future" reminds us to learn each step of the way. He says, "Determine your desire. Take a small step toward it. Learn from taking that step. Take another step. Learn from that one."
Image by SEO/Flickr.
Keep learning. Keep growing. Keep moving forward.
5. Unfortunately, the world does revolve around money. Be prepared.
Think about the things you can control, the factors you'll need to prepare for regardless of your life's ever-shifting trajectory. Money is one of them.
You can put the wheels in motion now so that you're not worrying about your finances at 75. You'll want to have everything as buttoned up as possible long before you're asking yourself where did the time go?
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."