This story originally appeared on The Nib and is reprinted here with permission.
This story originally appeared on The Nib and is reprinted here with permission.
In the second season of Freedom to Thrive, host Hector Flores explores the immigrant experience, and what we can all learn from it.
Ifrah Mansour is no stranger to conflict.
A Somali refugee and current resident of Minneapolis, the multimedia artist and activist draws on her lived experiences to create work that explores trauma, displacement, and resilience. But like so many of the guests on Freedom to Thrive, an award-winning podcast produced by the National Immigration Law Center (NILC), Mansour doesn’t want to focus only on trauma; she also wants to celebrate the unexpected beauty she’s found during difficult experiences.
“One of the beautiful things about tragedies is that it activates hearts, and courageous people are born,” she says. For example, Mansour has noticed more Minnesotans than ever are reaching out to help the vulnerable, after the anti-immigrant crackdowns carried out by the Department of Homeland Security. “They are bringing food, they’re bringing extra clothes, they’re walking with people, and it’s just really beautiful.”
Hector Flores, co-founder of the Las Cafeteras and host of Freedom to Thrive, agrees with her. A child of immigrants himself, he has also seen how hope and hardship often live side by side.
Flores comes from a family with mixed status and is highly aware of the challenges immigrants and refugees in his community face, and how they’re affected by people’s misconceptions. “People want to know about trauma all the time, but we’re more than just undocumented,” he says. “We’re artists, singers, creatives … there’s so much richness in the culture.”
At its core, Flores’ comment is exactly what the Freedom to Thrive podcast is all about: Celebrating immigrants as complex, dynamic individuals, and challenging the dominant narrative that too often reduces them to symbols of hardship.
Launched in 2024, Freedom to Thrive explores heritage, resilience, community, and the ways art and comedy can spark social change. Now in its second season, the podcast continues to feature conversations with immigrants, policymakers, artists, musicians, activists, and more. Recent guests have included comedian Mo Amer, Grammy Award-winning singer Lila Downs, and Pulitzer Prize-winning author Viet Thanh Nguyen.
Where the first season focused on individual stories of identity and belonging, Flores says his goal for season two, where he joins as host, is to “take it to the next level” — using storytelling to highlight “the fact that we’re more similar than different.”
One recent podcast episode drives this point home. In December, Flores interviewed Bryan Andrews, a rising country music star and rural Missouri native who frequently uses his platform to speak about issues affecting immigrant families. At the heart of his message and his songwriting, Andrews says, is the idea that small-town Americans and the rest of the country, including immigrants, have more in common than they realize.
“It doesn’t matter where you’re from,” Andrews says on the podcast. “We’re all trying to make a living and we’re tired of getting railroaded by corporate greed or by politicians who don’t care.”
Rural Americans, Andrews says, are often stereotyped as racist and misogynistic but “the overwhelming majority of people in my home town have love in their hearts.” Media stereotypes often amplify differences and divide, he says, but at the end of the day, “we’re all in this together.”
Flores, who was raised in a working-class immigrant neighborhood in East Los Angeles, had similar thoughts. He says he often sees its residents stereotyped as wealthy, consumerist, and status obsessed. “That exists, but that’s not my life, that’s not my community,” he says. Like small-town Americans, people in the city “just want to work hard and take care of their families. We all want the same thing.”
Although the podcast tackles some heavy issues, each episode’s ultimate focus is how personal and collective struggles can be healed through art, driving home a message of hope and resilience:
Mansour’s episode about her experiences in Minnesota is just one of many examples. Flores asks her,
“What gives you hope for the people creating a home here?”
“The love I feel from other Minnesotans. It is trumping any hate we’re experiencing,” she replies.
CTA: Stream all episodes now on the Freedom to Thrive YouTube channel or the website, here.
The podcast has been nominated for a Webby in the “Belonging & Inclusion” category. You can vote for it to win until Thursday, April 16!
This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levis Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.
“I had no idea it felt like this.”
Parents today share responsibilities more equally than in past generations, but studies show childcare still falls disproportionately on women’s shoulders. Some families choose one parent to take on the lion’s share of child-rearing and/or domestic duties, and if that works, great. Other couples work similar hours and have to figure out how to equally split home duties, but however the household is structured, mothers most often tend to be the “default parent” and household manager.
That means it’s mostly moms who are constantly thinking about managing the million little details of parenting. The big things like feeding, bathing, transporting, teaching life lessons, and such are fairly easy to share equitably. But the invisible work: keeping track of routine doctor and dentist appointments, communicating with teachers and caregivers, keeping extended family updated, figuring out what clothes to keep and get rid of as kids outgrow them, keeping the family calendar up-to-date, and more. That’s all part of the “mental load” of parenting that moms tend to carry, often without their partners even being aware they’re doing it.
That’s why one dad’s confession after getting a taste of solo parenting has gotten a huge reaction. Cedric Thompson, Jr., a former NFL player and dad of three daughters, shared a video explaining that he didn’t really understand the mental load his wife was carrying until she went to visit family in the Philippines for eight days, leaving him home alone with the kids.
“I’ve been a single dad for 8 days because my wife is in the Philippines and I had no idea it was this tough,” he said with a sleeping child cradled in his arms. He explained that he was prepared for the cleaning, the transporting kids back and forth, the unexpected sickness, the feeding, and the sleeping. “But one thing I was not prepared for was the mental load,” he said. “I had no idea it felt like this. To think about things that need to be done that haven’t been done or things that I need to plan to do is so draining that I don’t even have the energy to take care of myself at all.”
“And now that I understand this, I have so much empathy for my wife,” he said, “and I truly understand what she means by this ‘mental load’ and how draining it is. This has really opened my eyes and made me ask myself, what more can I be doing? What has been going on that I haven’t been seeing and it’s right in front of me? How can I step up the way that my wife needs me to instead of doing things that I think are helping?”
“I know I can’t always take the mental load away, but I can definitely make it lighter.”
There’s a significant difference between assisting and managing, and when you’re the sole parent for a while, you’re forced to take on the management role. Eight days isn’t very long, but it’s enough to get a taste of being the one who has to think about all the things all day. It’s a lot. As Thompson wrote in the caption, “The endless planning, remembering, and organizing is exhausting in ways I never understood before. The most profound lessons come when we walk in someone else’s shoes, even if just for a little while.”
Some people asked what he’s been doing this whole time when his wife is home, but it seems some of those folks might be missing the point. This is an involved dad and husband, not a slouch. But even those who want to and try to share the load equally don’t always know how to help with the mental load of the default parent because it’s mostly internal. And trying to explain it and figuring out how to ask for help with some of it just adds more work, not to mention we don’t even always know ourselves what we need help with. Stepping into the shoes of the default parent is really the best way to get a feel for what might be helpful without adding more to their plate.
Some commenters weighed in with thoughts and tips for lightening the mental load:
“How do men not understand their wife’s workload and bandwidth while literally sleeping next to her and living in the same house? Does she really have to leave the country for him to understand her contributions? Men have to do better.”Pro tip: when your wife asks you what she should make for dinner, she’s trying to share the mental load with you. So just give her a straightforward answer.”
“I love this…it’s called validation, empathy, and love Thank you for sharing this. The realization and verbalization of it makes the load lighter. Sometimes mental heaviness is worse than the physical.”
“Really appreciate this post and how you explained yourself. The ‘mental load’ is that never-ending list running through our minds every single minute of the day. It’s the constant inner monologue of everything that needs to get done, the overwhelming pressure of how to get it all done, and the invisible timeline that gives you anxiety when you don’t meet it—even though you set those standards yourself.
It’s the feeling of failing if you don’t check every box. Walking into a room and forgetting why you’re there, only to lose your mind later when you finally remember—but now you’ve got ten other tasks at hand. It’s the frustration when you realize that everything you just cleaned is already dirty again.
Sometimes, it’s not even about what men do or don’t do; it’s the weight of our own thoughts that get to us. But when someone helps lighten that load, even just a little, it means everything.”
“I love this. But to answer your question, the way you take the mental load away is you pretend you have to do it alone even when she comes back. Because that’s the reason she has mental load. Because she feels like she has to do most of it alone, even if you’re always there to “help”. That’s why I hate the word help. It implies that this is all her job. You’re doing well but keep digging deeper I do appreciate this post.”
And yes, there is a need to go deeper. As one commenter pointed out, “You are operating the day to day under a structure she put in place,” so a lot of the mental work was already done before she even left. And parenting is a marathon, not a sprint, so getting familiar with a specific list of “mental load” items that non-default parents might not think about can be helpful. Someone offered this helpful—if utterly daunting—list of some of those items:
“Planning teacher gifts for the holidays and the end of school. – getting that parent’s contact info for that play date. – researching, budgeting, and scheduling summer activities and when to sign up for them the January/Feb prior. – finding that in network pediatric ophthalmologist for an eye appt. Research that new dentist, schedule your kids vaccines, review the medical records, schedule that well child visit. – researching, scheduling, and budgeting the school and extracurricular schedule in the summer for the fall and in October for the winter/spring. – making time to be the family historian (researching, budgeting, and scheduling a family photographer 2 times a year, researching how to pick/buy outfits for the whole family, selecting and printing any prints, creating and ordering a photo book, organizing photo files, and physically organizing keepsake storage).
Teaching your kids about their heritage with activities. Research your family tree. – be the memory maker and plan fun activities for the family. Book those theater tickets, schedule that museum trip, plan that day trip to hike that waterfall, plan that vacation, schedule 3 farm trips a year, prep for activities leading up to the holidays. – 4 times a year audit your household belongings. What do you need to sell? What do you need to donate? What remaining needs a better storage system? Research the products that will help you stay organized and buy them. follow home organizers on social media. – Check your kids shoes. How are they fitting? Research and order/consign new clothing. – trim your kids nails once a week and cut their hair as needed (or schedule their hair appt). – plan your kids birthday party 2 months in advance, research activities, food, party favors, and decor ideas. create the invites and send them out 5 weeks in advance. 2 weeks in advance order the cupcakes, decor, party outfit, and gift wrapping.
Check in with guests food allergies, rsvps, and buy the gifts. 1 week in advance wrap the gifts, assemble the party favors, and take some cute photos of the birthday kid in their special outfit. Pack a bin of supplies you’ll need for the day of the party (scissors, wire and cutters, tape, paper goods, trash bags, matches, etc). – buy those tickets to your kids concert. – keep that first aid kit stocked up. – keep up weekly with school/teacher correspondence and volunteer at your kids school. – back to school shopping. – holiday planning.
Buy Halloween costumes at the end of September, plan a pumpkin farm day trip. Schedule any Halloween parties. The weekend before carve pumpkins. Take pictures day of. Buy nutcracker tix in October/ November, plan gifts, budget, and order. Research decor ideas, get desired supplies, and make them in Nov. meal plan and coordinate with family for thanksgiving. Set up decor and buy gifts, Christmas outfits, and wrapping supplies Black Friday. Wrap gifts, take kids out separately to pick out presents for their siblings. Research and schedule holiday outings as a family. Take pictures. Design, order, and send cards. Meal plan. Coordinate with the relatives.
Buy valentines cards for your kids class at the end of Jan. – talk to your kids about safety and abuse prevention 2-6 times a year in addition to “as needed”. – read the latest parenting books, listen to parenting podcasts, follow parenting accounts on social media. – plan kids craft projects. – take your kids to the library and keep up with the borrowed books. rsvp, order, and wrap a birthday gift for all the kid birthday parties. Write a nice note in a card about the child. – write thank you notes after birthdays, end of school, end of activities, after the holidays, and as needed.”
There you go. Not even an exhaustive list, but a solid start. Thanks to Ced for the reminder that the more we start putting ourselves in other people’s shoes as parents and partners, the better off the whole family will be.
You can follow Ced on Instagram here.
This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.
“What a sacred and healthy perspective.”
Grey hair has been a concern for people since before hair dye was invented. Some people pluck them and dye them as soon as they see them growing in, while others embrace the silvery hairs. Chiara Do’wal Sehi (Sunshine) Enriquez, an Indigenous woman from the Karankawa Tribe, recently shared her excitement about learning she had grey hair.
For a brief period of time, people were actually dyeing their hair grey prematurely. It wasn’t uncommon to meet a 20-something with “granny grey” purplish-silver hair, but the popularity faded nearly as fast as it started. But for Enriquez, grey hair isn’t a fad or something to hide. It’s a right of passage to celebrate.

During the colonization of the Texas Gulf Coast where the Karankawa originated, the Indigenous tribe was nearly eliminated. According to the Texas State Historical Association, the Karankawa people fought to maintain their land from 1685 until 1858 from French and Spanish settlers. Due to this multi-century, on-and-off battle for their territory, the tribe’s numbers became so small that they were considered “extinct.”
Enriquez is a descendant of the small number of Karankawa that survived. To her, living long enough to experience the growth of grey hair is a gift. The woman shares how much her “unruly” greys mean to her in a video uploaded to her Instagram page.

“I got my hair styled today. I don’t get it cut. It’s a cultural belief that I was taught by my mother. We don’t cut our hair, we let it grow. We save the cut for very, very serious and important moments in our lives,” she says while sitting in her car.
The woman explains that while she was having her hair styled, she asked the hairdresser about the texture of her hair. This is when she learned of her wiry new strands. She surprised hairdresser with her delighted response. “She said to me that it was because I had many little greys, and the unruly ones that were pushing up my other hair that weren’t grey were causing it to be a little bit frizzy.”
Enriquez lights up and smiles while recalling the moment in her hairdresser’s chair. She reveals, “And that felt so incredible. What an honor, and I was…I’ve only ever seen my head grow one grey hair, and even when I knew I had one grey hair, I was incredibly thankful. When she saw that I was smiling and so happy, she said, ‘Oh wow, you really must come from a different culture.’”

She later adds while tearing up, “I’m very happy to report that not only do I have for sure one grey hair, I have many. A plethora of grey hair. What an honor. What a fantastic gift to be lucky enough to see myself grow grey hair. That is so incredible. I am so lucky. What a life it has been. What a life it continues to be.”
Enriquez wipes away tears as she encourages others to embrace their grey hair. Viewers were moved by her joyfully emotional response to finding out she has a head full of grey hairs pushing their way through.
One person shares, “As a chemo patient I am always surprised when people are upset about their grey hair. I have come to see it as a privilege and dream of the day I might have greys, though my mom’s hair has never changed colors, and neither did her dads. Their hair has always stayed brown for some reason. Since my hair has begun growing again I have decided not to cut it for as long as possible. So I can say, I’ve been cancer free for this long, and show people my hair for reference.”
Someone else writes, “This had me in tears because i’ve loss so many people and im only 30 and the day i get grey hairs i will celebrate with them!”
Another person says, “i’m so happy to hear this expression of delight regarding your grey hair~ i am only just now getting greys & my own natural reaction was very different from my mom’s & grammom’s reactions~ i was surprised to find that i like seeing them appear~ hearing your perspective makes me think that it’s because i am not as tethered to the usa culture as they…
so thank you for sharing your experience & offering food for thought~ & congratulations.”
“I have been allowing my greys to come in naturally and have stopped dyeing my hair and it’s very liberating and in a society where ageism is everywhere it feels like resistance. And I love that! I have more greys than my mom. :),” someone else shares.

“What a sacred and healthy perspective,” one person says.
Another reveals, “I love this so much! Thank you for sharing your joy and gratitude with us. I’m getting grey and have been oscillating between feeling happy about it and feeling like I’m not sure i feel “ready” to have grey hair.”
Enriquez says, “I’ve always been of the personal belief that humans take the longest to change the color of their foliage in observation of their reconnection with Mother Earth and the cyclicity of her seasons and transitions.” She then explains that trees change with the seasons, grass goes through a cyclical change, and even animals turn grey and calm with age. “And it has always been representative that you have lived a full life. Do you know how many people didn’t get to grow grey hair? Didn’t get to see the hair change? What a gift,” she adds.
“That ‘Tommy’ was from the heart.”
When a person consistently brings the world joy, it’s extra special when we see them experience it tenfold. This is what happened for iconic comedian Carol Burnett when a young girl relayed a message from her next-door neighbor. Burnett’s response was pure delight.
A re-surfaced clip of Burnett shows her taking questions at the Q&A segment before her taping of The Carol Burnett Show. A young girl tells Burnett that she “lives next door” to one of her old boyfriends and that he says “Hello.” Burnett, clad in a lively black and yellow dress with a giant chiffon bowtie, confirms, “You live next door to an old boyfriend of mine and he says hello?” She throws her head back in jest. “There were so many!” The audience, as they so often did, laughs uproariously.
Burnett leans toward the girl and asks, “Who?” The firl answers quickly, “Tom Tracy.” Burnett, who had reportedly not planned the reaction, answers in earnest shock, crying, “TOMMY?! You’re kidding? Tommy Tracy?” Clearly, Burnett can hardly believe it. “She lives next door to… I can’t believe this! ” she stutters as she squats down. “How IS he?”
The audience continues to eat up the exchange, while Burnett adds a vulnerably adorable tidbit to the story. “Did you know that I loved him from the time I was about 12 years old up till the time I was 17? Which was about ten years ago. I always loved Tommy Tracy. And I always dreamed that someday we’d get married and have two children and I’d name them Stacy Tracy and Dick Tracy.”
An Instagram page shared the clip, noting a super fun fact: “The audience Q&A was one of the most beloved segments on The Carol Burnett Show, which ran on CBS from 1967 to 1978. Carol never knew what she’d be asked, so it was pure improv. The Q&A was done without any wigs, costumes, or character, just Carol herself, and if she ended up with egg on her face, so be it, which is exactly what made audiences connect with her so deeply.”
The Instagram handle continued. “Carol has said she actually considered changing her name to Carol Creighton early in her career because she thought it sounded better, but she kept Burnett specifically because she wanted Tommy Tracy to know it was her if she ever became successful. He sent his regards via a little girl in a studio audience decades later.” (This anecdote has been confirmed!)
The clip had over a quarter of a million likes in less than a week and many comments. Quite a few simply reveled in the brilliance and happiness Burnett brought (and brings) to a crowd. One noted how sincere her “Tommy” squeal was, writing, “That ‘Tommy’ was from the heart.”
Many joked about Tommy himself. “Tom went to everyone he knew saying, ‘I told y’all I dated Carol Burnett!”
This wouldn’t have been the only time Burnett was shocked by a crush during Q&A. In 1976, a young girl showed up in the audience and asked, “Did you know Jerry Hall?” Burnett proudly proclaimed, “I had a crush on Jerry Hall!” The audience goes wild, exclaiming, “This is his daughter!”
Burnett hilariously responds, “You’re Jerry Hall’s daughter? You could have been mine!” She then comes into the audience to give the young girl a giant hug.
This clip has yielded well over half a million likes as well. One Instagrammer seemed to sum up what so many of us feel, writing, “Every time I see a clip from her show I can’t help but smile. She’s so infectious.”
Chris Hansen didn’t make a fuss. He just quietly made sure she got exactly what she wanted.
Chris Leavitt had been his mother’s primary caregiver for six months, ever since she suffered a stroke and he moved across the country to help her. He drives her to therapy appointments, helps her communicate, and tries to give her as much independence as possible on the days when that feels within reach.
December 20 was her 60th birthday. They’d already had a full day of therapy sessions, but Leavitt wanted to mark the occasion. He let his mother choose where to go for lunch, and she navigated them to Hole in One Bagel Deli, a strip mall spot on Route 33 in Neptune, New Jersey. It wasn’t a restaurant he knew. It turned out to be exactly the right place.
Leavitt’s mother walks with a cane and still has difficulty speaking as she recovers. Once inside, ordering proved harder than expected. The menus were displayed on TV screens that were difficult to read in the lighting, and when Leavitt asked whether paper menus were available, there weren’t any. As he worked to help his mother communicate what she wanted, he was aware of the other customers around them, the noise, the weight of the moment.
That’s when manager Chris Hansen came around the counter.
He didn’t make an announcement or draw attention to the situation. He simply started presenting options to her, one at a time, letting her point at what she wanted. A poppy seed bagel. Then lox. “I got you,” Hansen told her. “Don’t worry about it.” According to Leavitt, Hansen moved fluidly between helping them and the other customers coming in and out, never once making them feel like an inconvenience.
“From the moment we walked in, the manager Chris showed us incredible grace and patience,” Leavitt wrote later on GoFundMe. “In truth, I’m not sure I would have figured out what she wanted on my own.”
When their food arrived, Hansen returned to the table with something they hadn’t ordered: a chocolate pastry. He told them the whole meal was on the house. When Leavitt tried to refuse, Hansen insisted. “Please, please enjoy.”
Leavitt said his mother didn’t fully register what had just happened. But he did. “It took everything in me not to sob inside the deli,” he wrote.
As they were leaving, Hansen said one thing that stayed with Leavitt long after they drove away: “What’s the point of life if you can’t be nice every once in a while?”
Leavitt, who has worked in hospitality for 15 years, posted about the experience to his Instagram following of over 400,000 people. The response was immediate. Within a day, he’d received more than a thousand comments and messages. He also quietly launched a GoFundMe to benefit Hansen directly, as a thank you. As of late December, it had raised more than $16,500.
He also brought his mother back to the deli to see Hansen in person, as News12 New Jersey reported.
The comment that seemed to resonate most with viewers came from someone who put it simply: “A man crying because his mom was treated with respect and dignity is pure gold.”