This 9-year-old came up with the coolest way to make sure nobody feels lonely at recess.
For kids who are shy or don't quite "fit in," school recess can be a lonely experience.
Many of us have been there, standing alone on the playground, wanting to join in the fun and games but not sure how. During one of the few times in the school day where kids are free to socialize at will, not having friends can be painful.
Sammie Vance sitting on one of the 'buddy benches' she had made for her school. Photo via Heidi Vance.
When I first read an article about "buddy benches," I loved the idea. Basically, a buddy bench is a place where kids who need a friend and kids who want to be a friend can find one another, simply by sitting down. It's a sweet, straightforward way to connect and make sure that everyone gets included who wants to be.
9-year-old Sammie Vance from Fort Wayne, Indiana, wanted to install buddy benches at her school. So she put together a creative proposal.
First she drew an illustration showing what her buddy bench would look like and how it would be used. "If someone is lonely they can go sit on the bench," she says, "and others know to go up and ask them to play."
Then she presented it to her principal at Haley Elementary School.
Sammie's plan for her school's Buddy Bench shows how it works. Image courtesy of Heidi Vance.
Um, who could say no to that? Not surprisingly, she received enthusiastic approval. However, the issue of paying for the benches remained.
Sammie and her mom, Heidi, got to work. They found a company that creates benches from recycled plastic at a third of the cost of what a new one would be. The only catch is they had to provide the plastic — 400 pounds of it per bench.
Sammie enlisted the entire community in her project to collect plastic lids to recycle into buddy benches. Photos via Heidi Vance.
So the Vances, along with classmates, community members, and area businesses, started collecting plastic bottle caps and lids, along with donations to pay the $225 fee to create the benches.
Sammie took her bottlecap initiative beyond Fort Wayne — and even beyond Indiana. She set a goal to get bottle caps sent from all 50 states.
Mission accomplished!
Sammie received bottlecaps from all 50 states, which got added to the 1200+ pounds of caps she collected in two months. Photo via Heidi Vance.
Sammie and Heidi thought it would take a year to collect enough bottle caps for one bench. They ended up collecting enough for three benches in two months.
"I'm so proud of her," Heidi told Wane.com. "I can't believe in less than three months we've collected over 1,200 pounds of caps. She wanted to make the appointment with the principal, pitched this idea and he rallied behind it, and the community rallied behind it. We're so thankful. This can benefit the kids for years to come."
Sammie does a bottlecap celebration dance. GIF via Heidi Vance.
The kids at Haley Elementary aren't the only ones to benefit. Other area schools have followed Sammie's example and started collecting caps for their own buddy benches.
For her inspiring work, Sammie received accolades from Fort Wayne's mayor, who presented the third-grader with a certificate of excellence. Go, Sammie!
Sammie chats with Fort Wayne, Indiana mayor, Tom Henry, who presented her a Certificate of Excellence for her buddy bench project. Photos via Heidi Vance.
Sammie reminds us of the good that one dedicated person can do — and her buddy benches remind all kids to watch out for one another.
People who have not experienced social isolation aren't always aware of the struggles some face. Shyness and social anxiety can make it hard for kids to make friends, and the pressures of the playground can be a lot to handle. As a shy kid myself, I always appreciated it when a more outgoing kid would invite me to play.
A buddy bench helps facilitate that process. Not only is it a way for lonely kids to find friends; it's also a visual reminder to all that some kids might be feeling left out. Even just seeing the bright yellow bench might be enough for kids to look for isolated peers and reach out to them.
Sammie says, "I don't want anyone to feel lonely, so I keep my eye out on the buddy bench during school at recess." Ultimately, she'd like to see buddy benches at every school.
After they were installed at her school, Sammie recreated her comic, and it's the best thing ever.
Image courtesy of Heidi Vance.
"Kids can do anything — it doesn't just have to be adults," Sammie says. "They can make a huge difference in the world."
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."