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Think you know the difference between criminal aliens and undocumented immigrants?

It's become apparent we may need a refresher course on human versus non-human beings.

During the vice presidential debate on Oct. 4, 2016, Republican candidate Mike Pence referred to undocumented immigrants as "criminal aliens" at least three times.

When the topic turned to immigration, moderator Elaine Quijano asked Pence what he would tell undocumented immigrants who have not committed violent crimes and wish to stay in this country. That's when he uttered a two-word phrase that needs to quickly be removed from our shared vocabulary: "criminal aliens."

GIF from PBS Newshour.


Look, we get it. It's hard! Despite years of activists working to disassociate the word "alien" (and "illegal") from immigrants, sometimes your eyes don't work properly or you're real tired or something, and law-breaking extraterrestrial beings do look a whole lot like human beings just looking for a better life for themselves.

But have no fear. We're here to help you tell them apart!

This is a criminal alien. He's from outer space.

GIF from "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial."

He's from another planet, and he's running away from the cops. Technically, he also just kidnapped a bunch of kids on bikes.

This is an undocumented immigrant. She's doing homework.

Photo by John Moore/Getty Images.

She's a high school sophomore and, like many high school students, she's doing her homework. She came to America with her family in 2000. Her dad works in construction.

The majority of undocumented immigrants say their number one reason for coming to the U.S. is to find a better life, inspired by the promise of the American dream.

This is a criminal alien. He's under arrest.

GIF from "Man of Steel."

His name is Zod and he's a former Kryptonian general. He's also definitely not from planet Earth. He was accused of treason and banished to the Phantom Zone. When he escaped, he tried to destroy Superman and take Earth down in the process. So, yeah, he's not very nice.

These guys are undocumented immigrants. They're also brothers. They helped with cleanup efforts after Hurricane Katrina.

Undocumented Mexican laborers Hermenegildo, Juan, Amadeo, and Juan Sanchez take English lessons in a church shelter for migrant workers in New Orleans. Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images.

These brothers traveled together from their hometown of Paso Amapa, Mexico, to New Orleans shortly after Hurricane Katrina struck. They, like many others, came to the area to help with much of the cleanup work in the wake of the storm.

These are criminal aliens. They're from Mars.

Image from "Mars Attacks!" ©Warner Bros/Courtesy Everett Collection.

They tried to invade Earth in the 1996 movie "Mars Attacks!" and unlike undocumented immigrants, their heads explode when they hear the song "Indian Love Call."

This is a group of immigrants. They're eating dinner.

Immigrants at the Casa Del Migrante shelter, part of the Coalicion Pro Defensa, which aids immigrants and asylum applicants seeking entry into the United States. Photo by John Moore/Getty Images.

As of 2014, just over half of all undocumented immigrants in the U.S. are Mexican. Believe it or not, the estimated number of immigrants moving from Mexico to America has decreased since 2009, down from 6.4 million to 5.8 million in 2014.

This is a criminal alien. He's in a police lineup.

GIF from "Guardians of the Galaxy."

His name is Groot and he is an extraterrestrial being. He was arrested with the other "Guardians of the Galaxy" after he and his friend Rocket Racoon tried to capture another alien named Gamora, who was trying to take the Cosmic Cube from a human named Peter Quill, aka Star-Lord. Their story, while exciting, is a work of fiction.

This is an undocumented immigrant. She's a mom,  a community activist for immigration rights, and a small business owner.

Undocumented Mexican immigrant Jeanette Vizguerra holds her 3-month-old daughter Zury. Photo by John Moore/Getty Images.

She came to America with her husband in the late '90s, and all three of her children were born here and are American citizens. Research shows that first generation immigrants commit less crime than native-born Americans. When it comes to second generation immigrants, the crime rate increases, but doesn't exceed the crime rate among native-born Americans, which makes sense, because a second generation immigrant was, most likely, born here.

This is a criminal alien. He's under serious arrest.

Image via ©Walt Disney Co./Courtesy Everett Collection.

His name is Loki and he's both a frost giant and an Asgardian prince. He was arrested for throwing an epic temper tantrum in New York City and leaving billions of dollars of damage and destruction in his wake.

This is an undocumented immigrant. She's a child with a doll and brightly colored gloves.

Salvadorian immigrant Stefany Marjorie, 8, holds her doll Rodrigo after crossing the Rio Grande from Mexico into the United States with her family. Photo by John Moore/Getty Images.

Crossing the border is not a decision made lightly. People crossing the border illegally risk their lives, traveling however they can, often in overcrowded vehicles and across dangerous terrain trying to find a better life for themselves and their families.

So, what's my point here?

The point is that saying "criminal aliens" instead of "undocumented immigrants" invokes the subtle implication that immigrants are sub-human or, even worse, not human at all.

Fortunately, language can change and terms are fluid so it's important to point out the obvious distinction between aliens from outer space who wish harm to planet Earth and human people coming in from another country simply because they want a better life for themselves and their families.

Saying "undocumented immigrants" reinforces the notion that undocumented immigrants, whether they arrived in the country through legal means or not, are still human beings deserving of dignity and respect.

Using terms like "illegal alien," or worse, "criminal aliens," as freely as Mike Pence did during the vice presidential debate, only perpetuates the implication that individuals who are in the country illegally are not really people at all.

It's time to retire that hurtful and inaccurate descriptor. We are all from this planet and deserve to be treated as such.

And if anyone brings up these terms and you get confused as to which is which, feel free to pull up this handy guide for an instant refresher.

A child being rude.

Sometimes, it can feel like half of parenting is repeating yourself over and over again, asking your child to brush their teeth or take a dish from the living room to the sink. It’s exhausting and makes you feel like a nag. Don't you wish there was a simple way to make your kids listen the first time?

Dr. Rebecca Kennedy, aka “Dr. Becky,” is a clinical psychologist and founder and CEO of Good Inside who says she has a quick way to make your kids more cooperative and less rude. Talk about killing two soul-crushing birds with one parenting stone.

Dr. Beckly got into psychology after growing up with anorexia as a teenager.

“Okay, no matter how old your kid is, you can use this 15-second tip to decrease rudeness and increase cooperation,” she says in a TikTok video with over 32,000 views. “Find your child today and ask them this question. 'Hey, I was just wondering, what could I do better as your parent?'”


The psychologist says that even if the child has a random or impractical answer such as “Let me stay up ‘til midnight” or “I’d like to eat macaroni and cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner,” just to listen. Simply by listening, you can change your child’s behavior.

She says we should also ask more questions to further the conversation: “Tell me more. What would that be like?”

Want to improve your relationship with your kid in less than 15 seconds? Watch this reel for a quick-win strategy. 

@drbeckyatgoodinside

Want to improve your relationship with your kid in less than 15 seconds? Watch this reel for a quick-win strategy. The best part: When we use strategies like this in calm moments, we reduce the frequency of difficult moments with our kids. Of course, I’m a realist… I know you need in-the-moment strategies too! Cue: My Conquering Problem Behaviors Workshop. You’ll get an entire toolbox of in-the-moment and outside-the-moment strategies for reducing outbursts and strengthening your bond with your kid. Learn more in the link in bio!

“I mean, imagine your boss coming to you randomly and asking how they could be a better manager to you. Just by asking the question and listening,” she continued. Dr. Becky says that asking our kids how we’re doing as parents communicates three essential ideas: “I care about you. I respect you. I'm invested in this relationship.”

This type of questioning builds a connection with a child that can spill over into other behaviors. “You're building connection. And with more connection always comes more cooperation,” she ends the video.

The big takeaway from the video is that when we enhance our connection with our kids, they will be less likely to disobey or be rude because they feel heard and respected, so there’s no need to act out. They will also return that respect by listening to you when you have a request, such as taking out the trash or putting down their phone and coming to dinner.

Some people in the comments got funny responses when they asked their kids what they could improve. “I asked my 5yr old. I got a mildly scathing look and she said ‘erm, maybe try and burn dinner less next time?’” Collette wrote. “My 5 yo told me to look better and get a haircut,” Mark Amend added.

Dr. Becky’s quick question is a great way for parents to strengthen their relationships when things are going well instead of trying to forge connections during conflict. It’s a great reminder that even when parenting, an ounce of prevention is a pound of cure.

Dr. Becky sums up the importance of prevention in her TikTok caption: “When we use strategies like this in calm moments, we reduce the frequency of difficult moments with our kids,” she wrote.


This article originally appeared on 6.6.24

Shopping

Best menopause supplements: 5 top products for hot flashes, night sweats, and more

Find relief with these top-rated supplements for managing menopause symptoms naturally

Menopause can cause a variety of unpleasant symptoms, but the best menopause supplements can provide serious relief. Whether you're struggling with night sweats, hot flashes, mood swings, or all of the above, supplements can be an effective, natural alternative to hormone replacement therapy.

We understand your need for high-quality ingredients and expert formulations. We recommend these high-quality products to help manage menopause symptoms.

Best Menopause Supplements

  1. Best Overall Menopause Supplement: Cornbread CBD Sleep Gummies
  2. Best Way to Absorb Vitamin D for Mood Swings: BIOptimizers Magnesium Breakthrough Drink
  3. Best Traditional Chinese Medicine for Libido: Beam Drive
  4. Best Black Cohosh for Hot Flashes: Aura Essential Menopause Gummy
  5. Best for Pre-Menopause Symptoms: Ladywell Daily Hormone Balance Bundle

Are dietary supplements safe?

Dietary supplements are safe if the ingredients they contain, like omega 3 fatty acids, are safe. However, evaluate the safety and efficacy of the active ingredients of your chosen supplements, and always ask your doctor first. Also, check that the supplement has been lab-tested and found free of common contaminants, like heavy metals and mold spores.

Best Menopause Supplements

1. Best Overall Menopause Supplement: Cornbread CBD Sleep Gummies


How Well It Works:

Although research about the effectiveness of CBD on menopause symptomsis limited, the sleep-supporting benefits of CBD are well-known. Better sleep often reduces menopause symptoms. Cornbread CBD Sleep Gummies are some of the best on the market. Enhanced with chamomile, reviewers say they effectively support sleep, mental health, and physical health during menopause.

Pros:

  • USDA Organic
  • Third-party lab tested
  • Made with relaxing chamomile and valerian root

Cons:

  • Contains THC

Specs:

  • Size: 30 gummies per jar
  • Key Ingredient(s): CBD, THC, chamomile, lavender, and valerian

Learn more about Cornbread CBD Sleep Gummies today.


2. Best Way to Absorb Vitamin D for Mood Swings: BIOptimizers Magnesium Breakthrough Drink


How Well It Works:

Women who struggle with mood swings find BIOptimizers Magnesium Breakthrough very helpful in managing this and their other menopausal symptoms. This powdered supplement contains eight types of magnesium to help calm your mind, support bone health, and promote better sleep. Magnesium helps your body absorb more vitamin D, which in turn can alleviate menopausal symptoms. Reviewers love the flavor of this vegetarian powder, which is sweetened with natural Katemfe fruit extract.

Pros:

  • Comes in three fruity flavors
  • Vegetarian, organic, and sugar-free
  • Made in the U.S.

Cons:

  • Some customers find it too sweet

Specs:

  • Size: 156 g per jar
  • Key Ingredient(s): Magnesium Proprietary Blend

Learn more about BIOptimizers Magnesium Breakthrough today


3. Best Traditional Chinese Medicine for Libido: Beam Drive


How Well It Works:

Women who struggle with low libido, vaginal dryness, and related menopausal symptoms find Beam Drive helpful. This encapsulated supplement is a natural alternative to hormone replacement therapy. It's formulated with maca root (studies suggest it may balance estrogen levels in menopausal women). Reviewers note increased libido within weeks. Post-menopausal women also benefit from this complementary and integrative health supplement.

Pros:

  • Suitable for men and women
  • Vegan and gluten-free
  • Made with natural herbs

Cons:

  • Results can take several weeks to develop fully

Specs:

  • Size: 60 capsules per jar
  • Key Ingredient(s): Organic Maca Root Powder, L-Arginine, Epimedium, Saw Palmetto Extract, Longjack, and Shilajit

Learn more about Beam Drive today


4. Best Black Cohosh for Hot Flashes: Aura Essential Menopause Gummy


How Well It Works:

The Aura Essential Menopause Gummy is a clean, all-natural choice for hot flashes. These gummies are made with black cohosh and chasteberry, the most common herbs for easing hot flashes and balancing estrogen levels. Reviewers note feeling physically and mentally comfortable after a few days of taking them.

Pros:

  • Made with U.S.-sourced ingredients
  • Fast-acting
  • Vegan and Cruelty-Free

Cons:

  • Strong herbal aftertaste

Specs:

  • Size: 60 gummies per jar
  • Key Ingredient(s): Magnolia Bark Extract, Black Cohosh, Chasteberry Extract

Learn more about Aura Essential Menopause Gummy today


5. Best for Pre-Menopause Symptoms: Ladywell Daily Hormone Balance Bundle


How Well It Works:

To ease initial menopausal symptoms, try Ladywell Daily Hormone Balance Bundle. It comes with Daily Hormone Balance capsules and an adaptogenic latte mix. Made with functional mushrooms, B vitamins, and herbs, this bundle may reduce hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, and other menopausal symptoms.

Pros:

  • Formulated with clinically proven ingredients
  • Plant-based and natural
  • No artificial flavors or fillers

Cons:

  • Only available in one flavor

Specs:

  • Size: Capsules: 60 capsules per jar; Latte Mix: 8 ounces per bag
  • Key Ingredient(s): Ashwagandha, Shatavari, Chasteberry, Wild Yam, Dong Quai, Black Cohosh, Saffron, B Vitamins, and Amino Acids

Learn more about the Ladywell Daily Hormone Balance Bundle today


How To Find The Best Dietary Supplements for Your Menopausal Symptoms

Our top factors to consider when shopping for supplements to ease menopause symptoms:

  • Ingredients: Evaluate active ingredients to determine whether it’s been clinically shown to ease menopausal symptoms.
  • Lab-Testing: Has the product been lab-tested for purity and potencyto ensure it’s safe?
  • Reported Effects: Do reviewers report experiencing the benefits you're most interested in?
  • Company Policies: The best supplements to reduce menopause symptoms come from companies with good customer service and excellent guarantees.

Potential Benefits of Taking Menopause Supplements

  • Fewer Hot Flashes: Better temperature regulation, day and night.
  • Steady Moods: Balance mood swings and prevent irritability.
  • Better Sleep: Improved sleep leads to fewer menopausal symptoms.
  • Bone Health: Supplements withmagnesium, calcium, and vitamin D significantly help maintain healthy bones.
  • Overall Wellness: Some supplements may protect against breast cancer and heart disease.

Potential Side Effects of Taking Menopause Supplements

  • Nausea: If you experience nausea, try taking your supplement with a snack.
  • Drowsiness: Ingredients likeCBD andAshwagandha make some people tired.
  • Headaches: Some women have minor headaches when adapting to a new supplement.

FAQs

Can I take menopause supplements with other medication?

Maybe. If you take other medications for your menopausal symptoms, check with your doctor before taking supplements.

How often should I take menopause supplements?

Most supplements for menopausal symptoms are designed to be taken once a day; check each supplement label for dosage instructions.

Finding The Best Menopause Supplements for You

If you've been struggling with menopausal symptoms, the supplements featured here can help. We have confidence in the products recommended here, and hope they bring you relief from hot flashes and more.

Related Content

Family

13 comics use 'science' to hilariously illustrate the frustrations of parenting.

"Newton's First Law of Parenting: A child at rest will remain at rest ... until you need your iPad back."

All images by Jessica Ziegler

Kids grab everywhere.


Norine Dworkin-McDaniel's son came home from school one day talking about Newton's first law of motion.

He had just learned it at school, her son explained as they sat around the dinner table one night. It was the idea that "an object at rest will remain at rest until acted on by an external force."

"It struck me that it sounded an awful lot like him and his video games," she joked.


A writer by trade and always quick to turn a phrase, Norine grabbed a pen and scribbled some words:

"Newton's First Law of Parenting: A child at rest will remain at rest ... until you need your iPad back."

And just like that, she started creating "The Science of Parenthood," a series that names and identifies hilarious, universal parenting struggles. She put in a quick call to her friend Jessica Ziegler, a visual and graphics expert, and together the two set out to bring the project to life.

Here are some of their discoveries:

1. Newton's first law of parenting

parents, babies, parenthood

A taste of the “gimmies."

2. The sleep geometry theorem

teenagers, science of parenthood, science

There’s plenty of room.

3. The baby fluids effusion rule

baby fluids, adults, babies

Duck.

4. The carnival arc

avoidance, county fair, town

Can we go?

5. The Archimedes bath-time principle

bath time, bubbles, clean up

Clean up the clean up.

6. Schrödinger's backpack

homework, school, responsibility

Homework... ehh.

7. The naptime disruption theorem

naps, doorbells, sleep deprivation

Who needs sleep. It’s rhetorical.

8. Calculation disintegration

math, education, calculator

I have a calculator on my phone.

9. Chuck e-conomics

economics, resources, toys

How much does that cost?

10. Plate tectonics

food, picky eaters, fussy eaters

Where’s the chicken tenders?

11. Silicaphobia

beach, sand, vacation

Oh good, sunburns.

12. Delusions of launder

laundry, chores, home utilities

When did we get all these clothes?

13. The Costco contradiction

Costco, name brands, comic

I want them now, not then.

Norine and Jessica's work struck a nerve with parents everywhere.

Norine said almost every parent who sees the cartoons has a similar reaction: a quiet moment of recognition, followed by a huge laugh as they recognize their own families in the illustrations.

But is there more to it than just getting a few chuckles? You bet, Norine and Jessica said.

"Even, at the worst possible moments, you're standing there, your child has just vomited all over you, or you've opened up the diaper and your kid is sitting waist deep in liquid ****. Even at that moment, it's not really that bad," Norine said. "You will be able to laugh at this at some point."

"It gets better. You're not alone in this parenting thing."


This article originally appeared on 11.30.16

A man and a woman doing dead hangs.

Would you really want to know how long you have to live? On one hand, it’d probably inspire you to go out and complete your bucket list. On the other, it may be depressing to know just how many days you have left.

Well, science has yet to discover a way to determine the average person's life expectancy. However, some indicators can show whether someone is in danger of having their life cut short by deteriorating health.

A study published by Clinical Interventions in Aging in 2019 determined that handgrip strength can be a reliable proxy for how long one has to live. One of the best ways to judge handgrip strength is to time how long you can hang from a bar. To test your grip strength, find yourself a pull-up bar, whether at a gym or local park, take a deep breath and start hanging.


The study found that 30 seconds is a good target for women and 60 is an excellent goal for men. Therefore, if you go longer than the goal, you’re looking at a long life. But if you can’t quite get there, your life may be shorter than you’d like.



Dr. Peter Attia believes that grip strength is a great way to determine one’s overall health.

“It's just a great proxy for overall body strength and muscle mass, but I think it's also a very functional form of strength,” he said on “The Drive” podcast. “Basically, everything in your upper body is mediated through your hands. And if your grip is weak, everything Downstream of that is weak. When you watch someone, who's got a weak grip deadlifting. It's very difficult for them to deadlift correctly because they don't create a proper wedge.

Doctors Eve M. Glazier and Elizabeth Ko at UCLA Health say poor grip strength is connected to numerous diseases. “Research continues to link a decline in grip strength to a range of adverse health issues, including heart disease, arthritis, osteoporosis, Type 2 diabetes and certain cancers. It has also been found to be a predictor of the likelihood of post-surgical complications, post-surgical recovery time and mortality,” they wrote on the UCLA Health blog.

Weight can also significantly affect how long a person can hang from a bar. So don’t lighter people have an unfair advantage advantage than those on the heavier side? Well, weight is also an important indicator of longevity. A study published in Aging Cell found a direct correlation between increased body mass and decreased longevity.



The good news for people who didn’t quite make their hang time goal is that you can improve it by practicing dead hangs.

How to perform a dead hang (according to Healthline):

  • Use a secure overhead bar. Use a step or bench to reach the bar with your arms easily. You don’t want to jump straight into a dead hang.
  • Grip the bar with an overhand grip (palms facing away from you). Aim to keep your arms shoulder-width apart.
  • Move your feet off the step or bench so you’re hanging on to the bar.
  • Keep your arms straight and stay relaxed.
  • If you’re new to the exercise, hang for 10 seconds. Then, work your way up to 45 seconds to 1 minute at a time.
  • Slowly step back onto the step or bench before releasing your arms. Repeat up to 3 times if you wish.





Family

'Sleep training' is a heated debate in the parenting world. It shouldn't be.

Any parent who takes a definitive stance on sleep training needs to understand a few things.

Parents debate whether it's wrong to sleep train babies.

Welcoming a new baby to the world is a wonderful but daunting experience, and no matter how much you try to prepare, there will always be something you aren't fully prepared for.

For many parents, that thing is lack of sleep.

You can hear parents talk about exhaustion and sleep deprivation and still be wholly unprepared for what a baby who isn't a great sleeper does to to your psyche. It's no surprise that many parents turn to parenting books and "experts" to try to figure out how to get their babies to sleep, which is where the idea of "sleep training" comes in.


Sleep training is a broad term for teaching or training a baby to go to sleep (or back to sleep) without needing to be soothed by a parent or other caregiver. There are many sleep training methods that range from fairly common sense to borderline abuse, which is one reason it seems to spark big debates between parents. Everyone's talking about a different method when they defend or vilify sleep training.

Sleep training usually involves letting a baby fuss or cry for some length of time, which some see as problematic because of research on the importance of responding to babies' cries. Others say that a little crying is a small price to pay because it's healthier in the long run for baby and parents to get good sleep.

Of course, there's a huge difference between "crying or fussing for a few minutes" and "wailing and screaming with no end in sight," and that's where the big disconnect comes in. For some parents, sleep training entails the former, and it works, so they swear by it. For others, it entails the latter, and it's a nightmare, so they think it's horrible.

There's also a huge difference between "I'd love it if my baby would sleep all night without waking" and "I think I might die if I don't get a 4-hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep." Desperation makes many parents who might not love the idea of sleep training to give it a go.

I have some personal experience with this. My first baby wasn't a great sleeper. I remember thinking, at six weeks postpartum, "There's no way a person can survive on this little sleep." I adored my baby, but the sleep deprivation from waking up several times a night for weeks on end felt like literal torture.

She started sleeping through the night when she was a few months old, but that didn't last long. Teething happened. Then crawling happened. It seemed like just when she'd get into a nice sleep routine, some milestone would throw us right back to waking up and crying multiple times a night. She slept in our room next to our bed, so it was easy enough to nurse her back to sleep, but it was still night after night of disrupted sleep.

I was desperate to try something, but I wasn't keen on the idea of sleep training. It's a natural instinct to respond to your baby's cries, so walking away didn't feel right. One book had suggested leaving the baby in their crib to cry by themselves and not pick them up no matter what. If they got so upset that they threw up, you were just to clean them up and do the same thing again. Um, no thank you.

But I had heard other parents say they tried different sleep training methods that involved leaving them to cry for just a few minutes, going in to pat/comfort them, leaving them again for a little longer, and going back and forth until they eventually fall asleep. I read so many parents say something like, "It took like 15 minutes of fussing for them to fall asleep the first night, 5 minutes the second and after that they just went right to sleep and didn't wake up until morning!"

baby sleeping If only all babies slept this peacefully.Photo by Yan Krukau/Pexels

That sounded reasonable. So I tried it, a couple of times.

It went nothing like how those parents described. Not even close.

First of all, my baby did not "fuss." It was full-on crying, wailing and screaming with snot and drool involved. Secondly, there was no patting her to calm her down—she would only calm down if I picked her up. Third, the wailing when I left the room didn't ever subside, it only got worse and worse. I felt like I was torturing my baby and it was breaking my mama heart, so we gave it up.

I have no doubt that those parents were telling the truth about how sleep training worked with their child. It just absolutely did not work that way with mine.

That baby is now 24 and has slept in her own bed all night for over two decades. My other two kids had their own sleep personalities as babies—one of them super easy and the other more like my first. I didn't do anything different to make them that way—it's just how they were. It was hard sometimes. We co-slept as needed. It all worked out in the end.

There are a few things I know for sure after parenting three kids and talking with countless other parents:

1) Every baby, child and family is different and what works for one won't necessarily work for another. As long as no one is actually being abused or neglected, do what works for your kid and your family.

2) Anyone who offers definitive, one-size-fits-all advice on any part of parenting is flat-out wrong. One size most definitely does not fit all.

3) Sleep is important, but unless you've slept a night in their bed, don't judge a parent for how they choose to handle sleep with their baby. What's right for you may not be right for them.