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They felt like losers in their youth — but that's how these couples met later in life.

It was Valentine's Day 2006, and 32-year-old Neil Katcher was standing on stage reading poetry he'd written in high school.

This was part of "Mortified," a hilarious stage performance where adults could come together and share their most hilariously embarrassing and angst-filled moments from adolescence, usually in the form of diary entries, poetry, or chat transcripts.

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On that night, Neil was reading a selection of love letters that, as an awkward teenager, he'd been too afraid to send out of fear of rejection.


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You know. Stuff like this:

GIF from "Mortified Nation."

After the show, a woman named Christine came up and introduced herself to him. "She was wearing 2-inch heels and she’s already like an inch taller than me. So she was like towering over me and I had no idea she was flirting with me," he told Upworthy over email.

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The rest was history, and their first child turned 3 last year.

Neil, Christina, and their little guy, in 2013. GIF from "Mortified Nation."

"It’s kinda fun that this love letter I wrote as a kid — where I wore my heart on my sleeve — ended up getting the very thing I wanted — a girlfriend/wife — only 15 years later," he said.

Of course, that wasn't the goal when he started "Mortified" with his friend, David Nadelberg, back in 2002.

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They just thought it'd be funny to do a one-off night where people could read and share and laugh at their own delightfully awkward teenage memories, whether it's their funny chat transcripts with the girl next door or the erotic poetry they wrote about their sophomore math teacher before they had any real concept of what eroticism was or meant or something else as awesomely awful.

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They never expected the project to expand into podcasts, books, documentary films, and a television series, with live-performance chapters spanning three continents. And they certainly never thought so many people would find love along the way.

Founder David Nadelberg. GIF from "Mortified Nation."

The first time that Sara Faith Alterman read at "Mortified," she looked into the audience and saw a woman from her high school staring back.

Sara was already exposing herself by sharing tumultuous stories and poems about her on-again-off-again high school sweetheart.

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But seeing someone who actually (kind of) knew the person that she was back then? That made the whole thing even harder.

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"She hadn’t been the nicest kid, so exposing my teen musings and insecurities in front of her felt really terrible," Sara said.

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One year later, she returned to the "Mortified" stage. And this time, she made a passing joke about seeing someone in the audience that was actually present for the teenage trauma she was talking about.

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A man named Sam used the same angle when he approached her after the show. "Hey, we went to high school together!" he said. 

Sara in high school. Photo used with permission.

As Sara remembers it:

"I thought he was just joking to hit on me. I didn’t mind, because he was really cute. But he was serious. And it took me a minute to recognize him because we only knew each other through peripheral social media connections. I’d been a year ahead of him in school, and we’d run in completely different circles: I was in jazz choir and the drama club, he loved camping and skiing. 

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I fell in love with him immediately."

That was nearly 10 years ago. Today, they're married and live in the Bay Area — though Sara still produces the Boston and New England chapters of "Mortified," back where she grew up. 

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"My husband thinks I’m crazy for remaining affected by high school. I think he’s a robot," she said. "And our baby is basically a crazy robot, so that makes sense." 

Sara and Sam today. Photo used with permission.

Anne Jensen-Smith and her husband, Adam, were both already entangled in the "Mortified" world when sparks began to fly between them.

Anne had been co-producing the Los Angeles chapter's live performances, alongside co-founders Dave and Neil. At one point, they decided to bring in a house band to accompany performances — and Adam just so happened to be the leader of the band.

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That's what got them talking. The first time they went out alone together was after a "Mortified" performance — on Valentine's Day. "Adam and I talked all night long about our upbringings, our high school experiences, most embarrassing moments after that 'Mortified' show nine years ago," she told Upworthy.

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"Now, nine years, one marriage, two kids, two dogs, and one major move (to Texas) later, we decided to open a 'Mortified' in Dallas where, once again, I am the producer and he is the band leader."

Anne in middle school, on the left, and today with her husband, Adam. Photo used with permission.

"The charm of 'Mortified,' and why I think it brings so many couples together, is that it immediately disarms you," Anne said.

"[It] makes it cool, funny, and most importantly it makes you feel OK to talk about that most vulnerable time in your life," she added. "One doesn't often open up like that on a first date, or even a fifth or tenth date, but watching 'Mortified' can really inspire someone to share the tenderness of one's adolescence."

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Sara agrees. "'Mortified' gives people a platform to lay their deep-seated dreams, insecurities, and secrets all out on the table. It’s exhilarating. It’s cathartic."

But the most important lesson to take away from "Mortified"? It's that despite our terrible teenage memories, we ended up OK after all.

As a performer in the "Mortified Nation" documentary put it:

"Having the audience with me, kind of cheering me on, is a remarkable thing. Because I didn't have that when I was teenager. I didn't have anybody saying 'aw' when I was getting picked on. That's a really powerful shift."

It is a powerful thing to reclaim your past humiliations, when you were young and naive and worried about everything. Imagine how your high school self would have felt if you had known that it would all turn out OK — or even better — and that your heinous high school poems about your sexy sophomore math teacher could lead you into the arms of the one you'd spend your life with.

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For some people, that could make the difference between life and death.

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Maybe if I'd known where I'd end up today, I wouldn't have felt so tortured back then. But then I probably wouldn't be where I am — which is writing this story before I go on stage at "Mortified" to sing a song I wrote more than half my life ago.

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The refrain? "Somehow it'll all turn out right."

Me at "Mortified," probably singing "@#$% You, Hotchkiss Lane" or "Love Song in the Key of Amateur" or some other incredibly angsty adolescent anthem that I penned in my punk rock youth. Clearly I haven't changed that much.

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Three women, three MS journeys: How multiple sclerosis looks different for everyone

Gina, Nathalie and Helga share their reactions to being diagnosed with MS and how they stay informed and positive in the face of ever-changing symptoms.

Courtesy of Sanofi

Helga, Nathalie and Gina all have MS, and their experiences show how differently the disease can manifest.

True

It’s been 155 years since neurologist Jean-Martin Charcot gave the first lecture on a mysterious progressive illness he called “multiple sclerosis.” Since then, we’ve learned a lot. We know MS causes the immune system to attack healthy tissue, including damaging the brain and spinal cord. Resulting symptoms can be debilitating and include fatigue, blurred vision, memory problems and weakness. Huge advancements in our understanding of MS and its underlying causes, as well as treatment advances, have been made in the past few decades, but MS remains a complex and unpredictable reality for the 2.8 million+ people diagnosed around the world.

Ironically, the only real constant for people living with MS is change. There’s no set pattern or standard progression of the disease, so each person’s experience is unique. Some people with MS have mild symptoms that worsen slowly but sometimes improve, while others can have severe symptoms that drastically alter their daily lives.

All people with MS share some things in common, however, such as the need to stay informed on the ever-evolving research, find various lines of support and try to remain hopeful as they continue living with the disease.

To better understand what navigating life with MS really looks like, three women shared their MS stories with us. Their journeys demonstrate how MS can look different for different people and interestingly, how the language used to talk about the disease can greatly impact how people understand their realities.

woman with horse, woman riding horseGina loves riding her horse, Benita.Courtesy of Sanofi

Gina—Hamburg, Germany (diagnosed with relapsing multiple sclerosis in 2017)

When her youngest son was 4 months old, Gina started having problems with her eye. She’d soon learn she was experiencing optic neuritis—her first symptom of MS.

“Immediately after the diagnosis, I looked up facts on MS because I didn’t know anything about it,” Gina says. “And as soon as I knew what could really happen with this disease, I actually got scared.”

As her family’s primary income provider, she worried about how MS would impact her ability to work as a writer and editor. Her family was afraid she was going to end up in a wheelchair. However, for now, Gina’s MS is managed well enough that she still works full-time and is able to be active.

“When I tell somebody that I have MS, they often don't believe me the first time because I don't fulfill any stereotypes,” she says.

Overwhelmed by negative perspectives on living with MS, Gina sought support in the online MS community, which she found to be much more positive.

“I think it’s important to use as many positive words as you can when talking about MS.” It’s important to be realistic while also conveying hope, she says. “MS is an insidious disease that can cause many bad symptoms…that can be frightening, and you can't gloss over it, either.”

To give back to the online community that helped her so much, Gina started a blog to share her story and help others trying to learn about their diagnosis.

Though she deals with fatigue and cognitive dysfunction sometimes, Gina stays active swimming, biking, riding horses and playing with her sons, who are now 11 and 6.

Cognitive dysfunction is common in MS, with over half of people affected. It can impact memory, attention, planning, and word-finding. As with many aspects of MS, some people experience mild changes, while others face more challenges.

Gina says that while there’s still a lot of education about MS needed, she feels positive about the future of MS because there’s so much research being done.

woman in wheelchair holding medal, woman rowingNathalie is an award-winning rower with multiple international titles.Courtesy of Sanofi

Nathalie — Pennes Mirabeau, France (diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis in 2002)

Nathalie was a teenager and a competitive athlete when she noticed her first symptoms of MS, but it would take four years of “limbo” before she was diagnosed.

“Ultimately, the diagnosis was more of a relief, than a shock,” she says. “Because when you have signs and you don’t know why, it’s worse than knowing, in the end, what you have.”

However, learning more about the disease—and the realities of disease progression—scared her.

“That glimpse of the future was direct and traumatic,” she says. Her neurologist explained that the disease evolves differently for everyone, and her situation might end up being serious or very mild. So, she decided to stop comparing herself to others with MS.

She said to herself, “We’ll see what happens, and you’ll manage it bit by bit.”

By 2005, Nathalie’s MS had progressed to the point of needing a wheelchair. However, that has not dampened her competitive spirit.

Nathalie began her international rowing career in 2009 and has won multiple world titles, including two Paralympic medals—silver in London and bronze in Tokyo. Now, at 42, she still trains 11 times a week. Fatigue can be a problem, and sometimes hard workouts leave her with muscle stiffness and shaking, but she credits her ongoing sports career for helping her feel in tune with her body’s signals.

“Over the years, I’ve learned to listen to my body, letting my body guide when I need to stop and take breaks,” she says.

Nathalie explains that she used to only look backwards because of the initial shock of her diagnosis. In time, she stopped thinking about what she couldn’t do anymore and focused on her future. She now lives in the following mindset: “Even when doors close, don’t miss out on those that open.” Instead of focusing on what she can’t do, she focuses on the opportunities she still has. Right now, this includes her training for the 2024 Paralympic Games in Paris, where she will compete for another rowing medal.

“I only go forward,” she says. “Well, I try, anyway…It’s easy to say, it’s not always easy to do. But that’s what I try to do.”

woman exiting water after swimming, woman with great daneHelga's Great Dane has become a helpful and beloved companion.Courtesy of Sanofi

Helga—Johannesburg, South Africa (diagnosed with relapsing multiple sclerosis in 2010)

When Helga first started having balance issues and numbness in her feet, she chalked it up to her training as a runner. But when the numbness moved to her face, she knew something was wrong. She never guessed it was MS.

“When I was diagnosed, I felt completely overwhelmed and clueless,” Helga says. “I felt that I had nowhere near enough information. I did not know anything about the disease…I had no idea that it was going to be a process of continually monitoring and adjusting your lifestyle.”

In the beginning, Helga’s symptoms developed slowly, and she didn’t appear ill to others. She was even able to run for a few years after her diagnosis, but she couldn’t do marathons anymore, and she began to fall frequently due to balance issues and right-foot dragging. Then her cognition issues became more problematic, especially in her job as a trainer in a printing company.

“My executive function, decision-making and short-term memory were affected to the point that I was eventually medically unfit for work,” she says. She stopped working in 2017.

However, she didn’t stop living life. Even though she could no longer run, she continued to swim competitively. She got a Great Dane puppy and trained him as a service dog to help her walk. She also serves as vice chair of the patient support organization Multiple Sclerosis South Africa, and she advises others who have been diagnosed to join a patient advocacy group as soon as possible to get reliable information and meet others with MS.

Helga says she is “hopeful” about the future of MS. “I must say that I am so grateful that we have all the new medications available, because my life would not be the same if it wasn't for that,” she adds.

Part of how she manages her MS is by looking at the positives.

“If I could tell the world one thing about MS, it would be that MS is an incurable disease of the nervous system, but it's also the greatest teacher of valuing your health, family, friends, and managing change in your life,” she says. “My life is diversified in a way that I never, ever thought it would, and MS has been honestly the greatest teacher.”

Each MS journey is unique – with each person impacted experiencing different struggles, successes, and feelings as they manage this unpredictable disease. But the common thread is clear – there is a critical need for information, support, and hope. We are proud to participate in World MS Day and share these incredible stories of living life while living with MS. To learn more about MS, go to https://www.sanofi.com/why-words-really-matter-when-it-comes-to-multiple-sclerosis.

MAT-GLB-2301642-v1.0-05/2023

This article was sponsored by Sanofi. Participants were compensated when applicable.

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